Why looking at our 'excuses' can help be the key to finding solutions and moving us forward in life.

Today’s podcast episode will discuss anxiety and panic attacks- what they are and strategies to feel better and overcome it. This will be helpful if you experience anxiety or panic, or want to be supportive to someone who struggles in these ways.

Bio:

Dr. Elizabeth McMahon, PhD has specialized in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (also known as CBT) for panic & other anxiety disorders for over 35 years.

Her publications include the client workbook, "Overcoming Anxiety and Panic interactive guide" (Hands-on-Guide, 2019) and the therapist manual, "Virtual Reality Therapy for Anxiety: A Guide for Therapists" (Routledge, 2022).

Dr. Elizabeth has given numerous Continuing Education presentations on integrative CBT for panic and anxiety, treating phobias, using virtual reality (VR) in therapy, and other topics. She has taught Continuing Education workshops at national conferences, including for the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT), the American Psychological Association (APA), and for PESI.

Her webinar on treating needle phobia using VR for exposure and video of a simulated VR exposure therapy session are available free to therapists on the Society for Virtual Reality Therapy website: www.SVRT.org. 

Books:

1) Overcoming Anxiety and Panic interactive guide (Overcoming Guide) by Elizabeth McMahon, PhD

2) Virtual Reality Therapy for Anxiety by Elizabeth McMahon and Debra Boelt

Where to Find Dr. Elizabeth:

Website: www.elizabeth-mcmahon.com

Twitter: @DrElizMcMahon

Anxiety App: MindCo Relief

Follow Relationship University:

Instagram: @relationshippodcast

Today we're going to talk about the basics of egg freezing! I’m bringing on an amazing expert in the field who will answer some common questions about the process and science of freezing your eggs and hopefully it’s going to be helpful and interesting to you!

Our guest is Dr. Monica Pasternak, a physician and Medical Director at Spring Fertility San Francisco. Dr. Pasternak attended Columbia University where she majored in Middle East and South Asian studies with a minor in Biology. She completed medical school at the University of Miami, where she also received her MBA, before going to complete her Obstetrics & Gynocology Residency at Yale. She then completed her fellowship in Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility at Cornell. She’s an incredibly knowledgeable doctor and leader in the field of fertility and I’m so thrilled to bring her knowledge to you. And I hope you enjoy the show!

In today’s episode, we’ll dive into the charged topic of race in 2022, why it effects each of our lives, and how we can all help sensitive conversations become productive and empowering. We'll use evidence-based research and examples, all of which are referenced in the show-notes.

New research is clearly showing that people of color experience strikingly different outcomes in healthcare facilities, and that systemic inequity and interpersonal bias pose significant, even life-threatening safety risks to our fellow Americans. By personally and bravely reconciling the moral distress of racial inequality, we can take a significant first step toward aligning our actions with our values and contributing to the freedom, wealth, health and happiness of all who call this land home.

Our guest today is the closest person I've personally worked with to a modern-day Mother Teresa, but she says you don't have to spend your whole life in service to others to spark positive change and see your own life transform. Tess Marstaller is a bedside nurse turned hospital risk manager who has been studying, volunteering and advocating in the non-profit and public health space for over 15 years. Tess is an example of backing beliefs up with actions, yet the more she learns the more self-growth she's inspired to pursue. Tess received her undergraduate and graduate degrees in non-profit management before pursuing nursing school, where her guiding interest became maternal health inequities. Tess also volunteered as a community health educator in Cameroon, Africa for two years with the Peace Corps, where she came to understand just how much health is the key to life, and a key many never hold. In San Francisco Tess has found meaning connecting with the homeless and underserved community as a nurse. In her current role investigating events where harm could have or did occur, she brings an equity lens to the case review process, her goal being that any patient can expect a high quality outcome when they arrive sick or injured. 

If you’d like to connect with Tess, you can reach her via email at tmarstaller@gmail.com.

Show Notes/resources used for and referenced in this podcast:

Facing Race | Episode 11: Discussing race over the holidays

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xTqSbqGXXA&t=109s 

White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack

https://nationalseedproject.org/Key-SEED-Texts/white-privilege-unpacking-the-invisible-knapsack

White privilege doesn’t mean your life has been easy, it means that race hasn’t been one of the things making it harder. 

Explained | Racial Wealth Gap | FULL EPISODE | Netflix

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mqrhn8khGLM

Dante King - Speaker and anti-racism teacher mentioned in podcast: 

https://www.danteking.com/resources  

1619 Podcast about how American slavery connects to life today

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/23/podcasts/1619-podcast.html 

13th (Netflix) - Documentary about the legacy of the 13th Amendment 

“Combining archival footage with testimony from activists and scholars, director Ava DuVernay's examination of the U.S. prison system looks at how the country's history of racial inequality drives the high rate of incarceration in America.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krfcq5pF8u8 

Implicit Bias Module Series: 

KIRWAN INSTITUTE FOR THE STUDY OF RACE AND ETHNICITY

https://kirwaninstitute.osu.edu/implicit-bias-training - I

Racial History of American Swimming Pools

https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90213675 - 

How the GI Bill's Promise Was Denied to a Million Black WWII Veterans

https://www.history.com/news/gi-bill-black-wwii-veterans-benefits

RACE IN AMERICA ‘It was a modern-day lynching’: Violent deaths reflect a brutal American

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/history/article/history-of-lynching-violent-deaths-reflect-brutal-american-legacy legacy

Top 10 Patient Safety Concerns in Hospitals 2021

https://www.ecri.org/top-10-patient-safety-concerns-2021 - 

Racism as Public Health Crisis: 

USA: https://www.cdc.gov/healthequity/racism-disparities/index.html

San Francisco: https://www.sfdph.org/dph/hc/HCAgen/HCAgen2020/July%2021/20_10%20Anti_Black_Racism_Is_Public_Health_Crisis.pdf

Maternal Health

Vital Signs: Pregnancy-Related Deaths, United States https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/68/wr/mm6818e1.htm

Racial/Ethnic Disparities in Pregnancy-Related Deaths — United States

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/68/wr/mm6835a3.htm

Nothing Protects Black Women From Dying in Pregnancy and Childbirth

https://www.propublica.org/article/nothing-protects-black-women-from-dying-in-pregnancy-and-childbirth?utm_source=Arent+Fox+List&utm_campaign=70d815f56e-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2021_01_20_08_35_COPY_01&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_3a013c8d3d-70d815f56e-424471426&mc_cid=70d815f56e&mc_eid=de44b7284a

• “For most people of color, racism isn't an occasional problem but a subtle, everyday stressor that is added onto all the other stressors in a person's life.” – Dr Camara Jones, CDC

UNNATURAL CAUSES - acclaimed PBS documentary series looking at the root causes of our alarming socio-economic and racial inequities in health.

https://unnaturalcauses.org/episode_descriptions.php?page=2

Experiments/studies noted in podcast:

Implicit Bias in Preschool: A Research Study Brief

https://medicine.yale.edu/childstudy/zigler/publications/briefs/

https://news.yale.edu/2016/09/27/implicit-bias-may-explain-high-preschool-expulsion-rates-black-children

Partners in study gave legal memo a lower rating when told author wasn't white https://www.abajournal.com/news/article/hypothetical_legal_memo_demonstrates_unconscious_biases

Doll Study: White and black children biased toward lighter skin

http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/05/13/doll.study/index.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZryE2bqwdk Clark Doll experiments

Implicit bias 

https://www.simplypsychology.org/implicit-bias.html

“The attitudes and stereotypes that affect our understanding, actions and decisions in an unconscious manner. - that unconscious part is key, these aren’t views people know they have but don’t share publicly, these are true blind spots until we use a mirror to find them or they are pointed out by others.”

Redlining: 1932-1968 - Learn more and explore your area

https://ncrc.org/holc/

https://www.urbandisplacement.org/redlining

Online dating can get really exhausting, real fast. We'll discuss illuminating perspectives to help you stay cool, calm and collected as you navigate the sea of swiping through dating profiles.

How do we encourage inner growth and development? What is our “shadow side” and how do we work with it? Also, what are some tools for overcoming addiction and how do we learn to make better life choices? In today’s episode I’ll be talking to my friend and colleague Benjamin Russack. He will discuss his experience as a once self-identified social outcast struggling with depression turned marriage and family therapist and Brazilian Jujitsu black belt. We’ll hear the story of how he outgrew his social inhibitions, lost 100 pounds and ultimately reclaimed his life.   

Make sure to check out Ben's podcast: Look, Just Tell Me What to Do… it’s based in mental health and talks all about addiction, relationships, dating. If you’re on the market for a great therapist, you can give Ben a call on his therapy business line: 415-497-1908. Ben's website: https://benjaminrussack.com/ 

And thanks so much for listening! This has been so awesome and feel free to follow me on Instagram @relationshippodcast.

This is Natalie Bloom, excited to continue the conversation with you! If you have any questions, comments or feedback, feel free to email me at: relationshipuni@gmail.com.

In this episode you'll gain tools and insights into how you can show up for people in your life who are struggling with anxiety and depression. It will expose common experiences of people who struggle with mental health, show you how to tap into your inner-empathy and reveal how your own past experiences can make you a great candidate for having a positive impact on others.

Vulnerability is the secret sauce for connecting deeply with others. It has so benefits and can really change the way we have relationships, often times for the better. This episode will expose why vulnerability is a great practice for living a more fulfilling social life.

Getting a little burnt out on online dating? Wondering why it's so hard to get into a great relationship? Wanting to up your dating skills? In this episode, we'll get intimate, real-life dating stories and suggestions for how to overcome obstacles so you can have a better chance of getting on more dates with good people. We'll investigate common road blocks and realities of what it's like to be single and dating, as well as ideas for creating a fulfilling dating life. This episode is entertaining and educational, and I think you'll really enjoy it!

Our guest is Maya Fan, who is Family Nurse Practitioner who recently graduated from UCSF and works in the San Francisco Bay Area. One of Maya’s specialties is sexual health and being able to talk to people about their most private, intimate medical concerns.

Thanks so much for listening to Relationship University and being a part of this conversation! Feel free to follow us on Instagram @relationshippodcast for more inspiration and content!

Introverts are often the hidden leaders of our society- but they don't always realize it. In this episode I will explore why introverts have a lot to feel good about and how they can use who they are naturally to make an impact on the world.

Thanks so much for listening to Relationship University and being a part of this conversation! Feel free to follow us on Instagram @relationshippodcast for more inspiration and content!

In today's episode you'll get a raw and personal inside look into what it's like to be in a relationship with a therapist. I will be talking to my therapist-friend Leora, and explore her journey of what it was like to become a therapist and how that changed her relationship dynamics with her husband. We will also talk about what makes a great relationship great, how to have difficult conversations with our partners and the role of expectations in our relationship.

Leora Lerba is an Australian and a therapist working in the San Francisco Bay Area and seeing clients all over California. Her specialties include working with couples, harm reduction for folks wanting to change their relationships with substances and Adult ADHD.

Humor is a huge part of who she is, and therapy with Leora definitely involves some laughing. Outside of being a therapist, she loves nature and getting outdoors. If she wasn't a therapist she'd be a sculptor, and she loves to cook. 

If you’d like to connect with Leora, you can find her at www.leoralerba.com. Her email is therapy@leoralerba.com. If you’re interested in working with her, she offers a free therapy consultation.

Thanks so much for listening to Relationship University and being a part of this conversation! Feel free to follow us on Instagram @relationshippodcast for more inspiration and content!

If you’re someone who loves psychology, therapy or personality tests, you’re going to LOVE today’s show. Today we will be talking about the personality system: The Enneagram! The Enneagram is made up of 9 personality types that looks at our internal motivations as the catalyst for what drives our behavior. The Enneagram is a powerful tool for helping us to understand ourselves and others better.

Our guest is Ayla Miller, who is a professional educator and has been studying and teaching personality systems like the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs for over 20 years. Ayla loves to help people better understand their personality patterns.

If you’d like to connect with Ayla, you can find her at www.truesystems.com and follow her on Instagram @trueyousystems. If you’d like to reach her directly, feel free email Ayla directly at aylamiller@gmail.com.

Here is a sneak peak into the 9 Personality Types:

1.The Perfectionist : Ones believe that to be worthy they must be right and good. Ones are responsible, conscientious, highly concerned with ethics, and oriented toward self-control and self-improvement; they can also be judgmental, self-critical, and resentful.They try to maintain high standards for themselves and others, and to avoid error.

2. The Helper: Twos believe that to be loved they must give fully to others. Twos are supportive, nurturing, generous, and relationship-oriented; they can also be intrusive, possessive, and prideful. At times flattering and people-pleasing, they may do things for others in order to feel needed.

3. The Achiever: Threes believe that to be lovable they must excel, accomplish, and succeed. Threes are competent, efficient, charming, and goal-oriented; they can also be impatient, image-focused, and inattentive to feelings. Perpetually comparing themselves to others, Threes can be excessively competitive. 

4. The Individualist: Fours believe that to feel complete and significant they must cultivate a unique and special identity. Fours are sensitive, authentic, self-aware, and deeply feeling; they can also be self- conscious, melancholy, and self-pitying. They often feel that something is missing and experience longing. They can be inspired and highly creative. Fours seek intense experiences and emotional depth.

5. The Observer: Fives believe that to feel comfortable in the world they must learn more and avoid intrusions from others. Fives are independent, autodidactic, analytical, and innovative; they can also be detached, withholding, and excessively private. They are drawn to complex ideas and driven to master new skills. They often veer toward eccentricity and isolation.

6. The Loyal Skeptic: Sixes believe that to be secure in the world they must create bonds with others to protect themselves from its hazards.

Sixes are reliable, trustworthy, realistic, and inquisitive; they can also be anxious, suspicious, and prone to self-doubt. They are adept at solving problems—even before they arise. They can be cautious and indecisive, or at times reactive and rebellious.

7. The Enthusiast: Sevens believe that to have a fulfilled life they must stay upbeat and keep possibilities open. Sevens are optimistic, adventurous, versatile, spontaneous, and high-spirited; they can also be scattered, impatient, and impulsive. They try to seek fulfillment from external experiences, avoid pain and boredom, and to maximize pleasure. They are accepting and non-judgmental, but can be uncommitted and self-serving.

8. The Protector: Eights believe that to avoid being taken advantage of by others they must assert their independence from the people and environment around them. Eights are strong, assertive, self-confident, and decisive; they can also be domineering, confrontational, and excessive. They see the world as a tough place and seek justice within it—for themselves and others. They often have trouble with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable.

9. The Peacemaker: Nines believe that to have harmony and belonging they must blend in and go along with others. Nines are amiable, easygoing, inclusive, and receptive; they can also be indecisive, conflict-avoidant, and stubborn. They are able to appreciate and empathize with competing perspectives. They are inclined to ignore and avoid conflict and can fall into patterns of inertia. 

Thanks so much for listening to Relationship University and being a part of this conversation! Feel free to follow us on Instagram @relationshippodcast for more inspiration and content!

If you’re someone who loves psychology, therapy or personality tests, you’re going to LOVE today’s show. Today we will be talking about the personality system: The Enneagram! The Enneagram is made up of 9 personality types that looks at our internal motivations as the catalyst for what drives our behavior. The Enneagram is a powerful tool for helping us to understand ourselves and others better.

Our guest is Ayla Miller, who is a professional educator and has been studying and teaching personality systems like the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs for over 20 years. Ayla loves to help people better understand their personality patterns.

If you’d like to connect with Ayla, you can find her at www.truesystems.com and follow her on Instagram @trueyousystems. If you’d like to reach her directly, feel free email Ayla directly at aylamiller@gmail.com.

Here is a sneak peak into the 9 Personality Types:

1.The Perfectionist : Ones believe that to be worthy they must be right and good. Ones are responsible, conscientious, highly concerned with ethics, and oriented toward self-control and self-improvement; they can also be judgmental, self-critical, and resentful.They try to maintain high standards for themselves and others, and to avoid error.

2. The Helper: Twos believe that to be loved they must give fully to others. Twos are supportive, nurturing, generous, and relationship-oriented; they can also be intrusive, possessive, and prideful. At times flattering and people-pleasing, they may do things for others in order to feel needed.

3. The Achiever: Threes believe that to be lovable they must excel, accomplish, and succeed. Threes are competent, efficient, charming, and goal-oriented; they can also be impatient, image-focused, and inattentive to feelings. Perpetually comparing themselves to others, Threes can be excessively competitive. 

4. The Individualist: Fours believe that to feel complete and significant they must cultivate a unique and special identity. Fours are sensitive, authentic, self-aware, and deeply feeling; they can also be self- conscious, melancholy, and self-pitying. They often feel that something is missing and experience longing. They can be inspired and highly creative. Fours seek intense experiences and emotional depth.

5. The Observer: Fives believe that to feel comfortable in the world they must learn more and avoid intrusions from others. Fives are independent, autodidactic, analytical, and innovative; they can also be detached, withholding, and excessively private. They are drawn to complex ideas and driven to master new skills. They often veer toward eccentricity and isolation.

6. The Loyal Skeptic: Sixes believe that to be secure in the world they must create bonds with others to protect themselves from its hazards.

Sixes are reliable, trustworthy, realistic, and inquisitive; they can also be anxious, suspicious, and prone to self-doubt. They are adept at solving problems—even before they arise. They can be cautious and indecisive, or at times reactive and rebellious.

7. The Enthusiast: Sevens believe that to have a fulfilled life they must stay upbeat and keep possibilities open. Sevens are optimistic, adventurous, versatile, spontaneous, and high-spirited; they can also be scattered, impatient, and impulsive. They try to seek fulfillment from external experiences, avoid pain and boredom, and to maximize pleasure. They are accepting and non-judgmental, but can be uncommitted and self-serving.

8. The Protector: Eights believe that to avoid being taken advantage of by others they must assert their independence from the people and environment around them. Eights are strong, assertive, self-confident, and decisive; they can also be domineering, confrontational, and excessive. They see the world as a tough place and seek justice within it—for themselves and others. They often have trouble with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable.

9. The Peacemaker: Nines believe that to have harmony and belonging they must blend in and go along with others. Nines are amiable, easygoing, inclusive, and receptive; they can also be indecisive, conflict-avoidant, and stubborn. They are able to appreciate and empathize with competing perspectives. They are inclined to ignore and avoid conflict and can fall into patterns of inertia. 

Thanks so much for listening to Relationship University and being a part of this conversation! Feel free to follow us on Instagram @relationshippodcast for more inspiration and content!

Feel stuck in dating? Are the same dating patterns happening over and over again? Do you wish you felt better about your dating experience? This episode explores how to feel more confident and valued while you are searching for a great relationship. I will talk about how 'Hard-to-Get' (with a twist) can be a powerful tool in making dating more positive, equitable and rewarding. I'll also cover why this dating strategy creates more excitement and sparks while you navigate the world of dating.

Thanks so much for listening to Relationship University and being a part of this conversation! Feel free to follow us on Instagram @relationshippodcast for more inspiration and content!

Lastly, I don't endorse the following book or recommend it for dating skills, however, I did mention on my episode that I would include it in the show notes, so here it is: The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss. INSTEAD I would recommend this dating book for everyone, not only people who identify as girls/women: Get the Guy by Matthew Hussey. I found this book to be intelligent, compassionate, creative and on-point for dating skills across the board.

In this episode we will talk about simple and specific ways that you can immediately improve your likability and connection to others. We will cover: why we don't have to fear rejection, how to use "positive body language," the power of compliments, why curiosity is one of the most likable qualities and so so so much more!

Our guest is Lindy Gullet. Lindy got her PhD in Social Psychology from New York University, where her research focused on how gender and race affect interactions among new acquaintances. She's the former CEO of a winery in Amador County, California and is currently writing a children’s fantasy book. Lindy spends her free time playing beach volleyball, reading books, going on Covid-friendly adventures, and doing yoga. She has so many valuable social skill tricks to share- enjoy the show!

Thanks so much for listening to Relationship University and being a part of this conversation! Feel free to follow us on Instagram @relationshippodcast for more inspiration and content!