4. Enneagram & Emotional Intelligence (Part 2)

If you’re someone who loves psychology, therapy or personality tests, you’re going to LOVE today’s show. Today we will be talking about the personality system: The Enneagram! The Enneagram is made up of 9 personality types that looks at our internal motivations as the catalyst for what drives our behavior. The Enneagram is a powerful tool for helping us to understand ourselves and others better.

Our guest is Ayla Miller, who is a professional educator and has been studying and teaching personality systems like the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs for over 20 years. Ayla loves to help people better understand their personality patterns.

If you’d like to connect with Ayla, you can find her at www.truesystems.com and follow her on Instagram @trueyousystems. If you’d like to reach her directly, feel free email Ayla directly at aylamiller@gmail.com.

Here is a sneak peak into the 9 Personality Types:

1.The Perfectionist : Ones believe that to be worthy they must be right and good. Ones are responsible, conscientious, highly concerned with ethics, and oriented toward self-control and self-improvement; they can also be judgmental, self-critical, and resentful.They try to maintain high standards for themselves and others, and to avoid error.

2. The Helper: Twos believe that to be loved they must give fully to others. Twos are supportive, nurturing, generous, and relationship-oriented; they can also be intrusive, possessive, and prideful. At times flattering and people-pleasing, they may do things for others in order to feel needed.

3. The Achiever: Threes believe that to be lovable they must excel, accomplish, and succeed. Threes are competent, efficient, charming, and goal-oriented; they can also be impatient, image-focused, and inattentive to feelings. Perpetually comparing themselves to others, Threes can be excessively competitive. 

4. The Individualist: Fours believe that to feel complete and significant they must cultivate a unique and special identity. Fours are sensitive, authentic, self-aware, and deeply feeling; they can also be self- conscious, melancholy, and self-pitying. They often feel that something is missing and experience longing. They can be inspired and highly creative. Fours seek intense experiences and emotional depth.

5. The Observer: Fives believe that to feel comfortable in the world they must learn more and avoid intrusions from others. Fives are independent, autodidactic, analytical, and innovative; they can also be detached, withholding, and excessively private. They are drawn to complex ideas and driven to master new skills. They often veer toward eccentricity and isolation.

6. The Loyal Skeptic: Sixes believe that to be secure in the world they must create bonds with others to protect themselves from its hazards.

Sixes are reliable, trustworthy, realistic, and inquisitive; they can also be anxious, suspicious, and prone to self-doubt. They are adept at solving problems—even before they arise. They can be cautious and indecisive, or at times reactive and rebellious.

7. The Enthusiast: Sevens believe that to have a fulfilled life they must stay upbeat and keep possibilities open. Sevens are optimistic, adventurous, versatile, spontaneous, and high-spirited; they can also be scattered, impatient, and impulsive. They try to seek fulfillment from external experiences, avoid pain and boredom, and to maximize pleasure. They are accepting and non-judgmental, but can be uncommitted and self-serving.

8. The Protector: Eights believe that to avoid being taken advantage of by others they must assert their independence from the people and environment around them. Eights are strong, assertive, self-confident, and decisive; they can also be domineering, confrontational, and excessive. They see the world as a tough place and seek justice within it—for themselves and others. They often have trouble with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable.

9. The Peacemaker: Nines believe that to have harmony and belonging they must blend in and go along with others. Nines are amiable, easygoing, inclusive, and receptive; they can also be indecisive, conflict-avoidant, and stubborn. They are able to appreciate and empathize with competing perspectives. They are inclined to ignore and avoid conflict and can fall into patterns of inertia. 

Thanks so much for listening to Relationship University and being a part of this conversation! Feel free to follow us on Instagram @relationshippodcast for more inspiration and content!