In this week’s episode, Barb opens up about her recent experience of attending a 30-day silent retreat. She shares her profound insights, takeaways, and the biggest challenges she faced. If you’ve ever been interested in silent retreats, this episode is for you! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• When choosing a retreat: listen to your heart and allow it to guide your decision.  *We do not recommend attempting a 30-day silent retreat for your first retreat. 
• The retreat was based on love and kindness. Allow your heart to feel loving and kind.        
• If the world presents us with something uncomfortable, if you sit long enough, you can become comfortable and then attach to it.          

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

The First Free Women – Original Poems Inspired by the Early Buddhist Nuns

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Feeling stuck or behind? This week’s episode is for you! In this vulnerable conversation, Barb and Michelle discuss the tricky topic of life timelines, how to formulate your own timing for your life, and release the societal pressure that we all experience. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Tips and practices to help you accept YOUR timeline:

1. Remind yourself you are not behind, there is NO real schedule to life. 
2. Understanding who you are and what YOU want. 
3. If there are things that you want, start to take the small steps to move yourself in that direction.  
4. Cultivate a mindset of trusting your own timing. 

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

The Practice: Simple Tools for Managing Stress, Finding Inner Peace, and Uncovering Happiness by Barb Schmidt 

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle continue their conversation from last week, answering listener questions and sharing personal stories and insights. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• How to feel comfortable being alone?
• Have the discernment of when you want to be alone and when you do not.
• Learn to love your own company and how to be fortified in our own company.
• Make a list of the things you like about yourself and the things you like about being alone. Understand the relationship you have with yourself and start being okay being you.
• How to overcome a break-up?
• Don’t deny yourself the feelings that you are having.
•  Don’t talk yourself out of why you broke up in the first place.
• Honor the relationship you had by allowing yourself to grieve the end of the relationship.
• How to stop catastrophizing and overthinking things about life?
• Pause.
• Become aware of what you are thinking.
• Ask yourself, is this thought true?
• Have boundaries with how much you take in about things that give you anxiety and fear about life in general.
• You have to train your mind to bring your mind back to the present. It’s a practice.
• I am trying so hard to be everything to everyone, and what if I can’t?
• The truth is that you can’t do everything and be everything for everyone. It’s not possible.
• Ask yourself what can you do at this moment?
• Make a list of the people you can help and what you can do for them.
• Remember, you can’t take care of others if you don't take care of yourself.
• Know that people appreciate your love and care and support.
• How to stop caring about what other people think of us?
• Other people's opinions are a bi-product of their own experiences.
•  Be your own biggest advocate.
• Be in alignment with yourself and your own truth.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• The Power of Solitude by Michelle Maros
• How to Reframe Loneliness by Michelle Maros
• 3 Tips for Mending Strained Relationships by Michelle Maros
• My #1 Reminder to Help Relieve Anxiety by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle take questions from the listeners about their relationship. They dive into the tricky dynamics of working together as family members, the sources of their biggest disagreements, and what they credit to making their relationship what it is today. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Knowing how you want to feel in a relationship and what you want that relationship to look like is powerful. 

Fostering a healthy mother/daughter relationship isn’t easy.

Helpful tools:

• Therapy 
• Meditation 
• Mindfulness 
• Starting from a place of love. 
• Understanding 

Tips for disagreements:

1. Don’t take things personally.
2. Reflect on the argument. 
3. What caused the fight?
4. What caused the hurt feelings?
5. Where is my part in it?
6. Cultivate humor and levity.

  

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Barb's Sign Quote by Dahlia Diell

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This week, Barb and Michelle dive into the much-requested topic of aging, what they think about the term “anti-aging”, and how they’ve managed their own feelings about the aging process. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

 Episode Notes:

• We all are constantly aging, it means we are alive.

• Set an intention daily to be comfortable in your own skin. 
• You are more than just your looks and your age. 
• You are a combination of all things. 
• Beauty is not just on the outside, it is also on the inside.

•  Love and accept yourself in this moment by embracing who you are and what you are now. 

 

Three questions to ask yourself when trying to cultivate positive self-talk:

1. What am I thinking moment to moment? Respond with a positive affirmation when a negative thought comes into the mind. 
2. What am I saying to myself? Name the negative for what it is: a lie.       
3. What is happening in this moment? Pause so that you can have awareness of your feelings.

There are two constants in life:

1. Change is inevitable.
2. You are always worthy.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

How to Real Love and (Completely) Accept Yourself by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the art of assertive communication, and how we all can cultivate the skills needed to communicate in this way. Plus, they share their own personal experiences being afraid to be assertive for fears of not being liked, and more! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Tips to becoming a more assertive communicator:

• Know who you are and what you want.
• Say what you mean. 
• Be present in your conversation. 
• Take responsibility and do not be passive in your communication. 
• Ask questions for clarity.
• Tell the truth. 
• Know when to be silent.
• Give yourself permission to take space in the conversation.
• Reinforce your boundaries.
• Be open to compliments as well as criticism.

Helpful responses when you are in a difficult conversation:

1. I’ve already said No twice. Could we please talk about something else?
2. I don’t tolerate (insert boundary here), so we can pause this conversation and come back to it later. 
3. Please let me finish this one thought and I will give you a chance to speak. 
4. I am not comfortable doing that or that doesn’t work for me. This one line will help with someone who is not willing to take “no” for an answer. 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

10 Reminders for Effective Communication by Michelle Maros

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This week, Barb and Michelle open up about personal situations they both have been going through that made them feel overwhelmed and weakened, and how they bounced back to regain their power. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Fear can show itself as uncertainty.
• It’s okay to be uncertain but honor you’re the work you are doing.
• It’s so important to understand your feelings and how fear is showing up in your life.
• There is a difference between needing to take a pause and reflect and and being stagnant, where there is no decision to be made at this moment.
• Life is filled with subtle shifts that can help you feel more powerful.
• The power to do all things, including those that are hard, is within you.
• Sometimes doing the hard thing is the right thing, and could make you feel better.

Helpful tips to get through the uncertainty:

• Make a list of things that you feel are taking up space and keeping you from moving forward.
• Take action even if it’s the smallest of actions to take that step forward out of the chaos.
• Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace.  
• Don’t carry the negative thoughts that say “you can’t” with you.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Opening Up by Michelle Maros
• Barb and Michelle’s Reel

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This week, Barb talks about a recent experience where she had an “off” day, how she got through it, and what we all can remember when we feel like life is against us. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Tips to help you get through tough days:

• Recognize your feelings.
• Lean on your support system.
• Give yourself space.
• Look for the tiny joys.
• Be open to a different solution.
• Allow yourself recovery time.

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From a listener request, Barb and Michelle discuss releasing personal judgments we hold for our own mistakes and missteps. In this episode, Barb and Michelle talk about their own personal experiences with making mistakes, how they forgave themselves, and the reminders they rely on to remember that our past doesn’t ever define who we are. Lastly, they discuss the silver lining to our mistakes and how to find strength to move through it.Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Mistakes encourage us to look for another direction or a source of action. They can keep us moving forward if we allow them too.
• Perfectionism and failing to own that we are human stunts are growth.



Tips to letting go and learning from mistakes:

• Forgive and love yourself.
• Remind yourself that everything happens for a reason and see what you can learn from this situation.
• Reframe the situation.
• All yourself to feel the feelings but do not live in the negative feelings.
• Stay present and know that this too shall pass.

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Finding the Lesson in Mistakes by Michelle Maros
• How We Can Learn from Our Mistakes by Michelle Maros
• What I’ve Learned About Making Mistakes by Michelle Maros

 

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As much as we all try to be kind and compassion, sometimes, people are mean to us. It’s a fact of life that once we learn to accept it, we can cultivate tools to manage it. This week, Barb and Michelle talk about how they handle “mean people”, and simple reminders for when you feel overwhelmed by someone else’s behavior. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast. 

Episode Notes:

Things to consider when people are mean to you:

1. We can’t control how other people behave.
2. We can’t change other people.
3. Don’t take what other people do personally. It has nothing to do with you.

Reasons for understanding why someone is acting in a hurtful way:

1. Hurt people, hurt people. 
2. Envy as the root of their behavior. 
3. Emotional reactivity. 
4. Projection.
5. Lack of awareness.
6. Too focused on their own needs to think of yours.

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss how they have learned to let go of the small stuff, and focus on the things that matter. It’s easy to take the words and actions of other people personally, but luckily, with practice we can learn to let it go. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Helpful Tips to Becoming Unbothered:

1. Recognize that not everything needs an emotional reaction.
2. Don’t make assumptions.
3. Avoid personalizing what other people do.
4. Know your limits.

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle dive into tricky situations in life that they are no longer taking ownership of. It’s easy to fall into the habit of feeling responsible for the things that happen around us, especially if we are people-pleasers. Luckily, with awareness, we can start to release this habit, and focus on what we can control and take ownership of. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

10 things that we need to release responsibility for:

1. Managing other people’s moods. 
2. It’s not your job to meet society’s expectations of who you “should be”.
3. You are not responsible for fulfilling your parents’ dreams. 
4. It is not your job to assume responsibility for what people do to themselves. 
5. It’s not your job to be the peacekeeper for your entire family. 
6. It’s not your job to control how other people choose to behave. 
7. It’s not your job to sacrifice your own basic needs to serve others. 
8. It is not your job to keep everyone around you happy. 
9. It is not your responsibility or your job to change or try to fix other people.
10. It is not your responsibility to yes every time someone wants something from you.  

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In this episode, Barb and Michelle dive into the vulnerable topic of body positivity, and how ultimately we can cultivate a feeling of love and acceptance for the bodies we live in. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Body affirmations to help overcome those negative thoughts regarding our body image:

• I love/accept/care myself just as I am.
• I am worthy of love and care just as I am.
• I am more than enough.
• I deserve love, respect and kindness.
• My body is a precious gift.
• I love and trust the wisdom of my body.
• I choose to take excellent care of myself.
• Taking care of myself feels good.

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• 2 Experiences that Damaged My Body Image (and How I Bounced Back) by Michelle Maros
• The Past, Present, and Future of Body Image In America by Anna North
• Maintenance Phase Podcast

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This week, Barb and Michelle discuss expectations, how they manage them, and how we can start to differentiate between realistic and unrealistic. As always, they share personal stories and tangible, easy to implement tips, and much more. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Tips to Managing Expectations

• Be centered and present. 
• Let go. 
• Accept.
• Find joy in whatever comes to you. 
• Learn. 
• Be open to the possibility of the what if?

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Start Close In by David Whyte
• Managing Expectations by Michelle Maros
• What are expectations? Its psychological meaning.
• The Psychology of Expectations by John A. Johnson Ph.D.

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This week, Barb and Michelle discuss the influx of disrespectful behavior, why we think this is happening, and how we can all start to live from a place of respect and kindness. Plus, Barb and Michelle give out seven helpful responses for dealing with disrespect. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

 7 Things You Can Say When Confronted with Disrespect:

1. It sounds like you didn’t intend to hurt me but this is how I feel. 
2. If you start yelling at me and calling me names, I will leave and disengage from the conversation.
3. I can’t continue this conversation anymore because I am not comfortable with how you are speaking to me. 
4. I’m not okay with put downs or mean comments that are excused as jokes. It isn’t funny.
5. This way of discussing the issue isn’t working for me. 
6. Let’s pause this conversation and come back to it when we have had time to calm down. 
7. That’s not how I see it. I am not going to argue about it anymore. 

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

The Psychology of Respect

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the powerful practice of setting intentions, how to choose intention, and the benefits that come when we live life aligned with our intentions. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Intention is information that you can uncover by connecting with yourself and your intuition.

Intention guides us where to place our focus, how to stay present and where your priorities are.

When trying to tap into what you value, ask yourself these questions:   

1. Who am I?
2. What do I really want?
3. What matters to me in life?
4. What impact do I wish to have on this life?

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Why I Want to Stop Being Nice by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the changing of the seasons and how we can follow nature’s lead in learning to make changes in our lives. We know how hard it can be to make that first step, in this episode you will learn some simple practices to help you find your way to making meaningful, lasting change. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

 Helpful Practices for Starting a New Chapter

• Take note of how you are feeling every day. Listen to those feeling they may be telling you it’s time to make a change.
• Be intentional. Take the Pause. This will allow you to connect with yourself and clear on what you want and how you want to feel.
• Release yourself from expectations and comparisons and focus on the things you value.
• Seek inspiration from the external. What inspires you on the outside if you are having trouble seeing it within yourself?
• Identify the small steps and changes you can make in your daily routine. The small steps can help us lean into the big changes.  
• Trust the timing of your life.

 

5 Positive Affirmations for New Beginnings

• I trust the timing of my life, I love to watch my life unfold in each moment.
• I am worthy of the good things coming to me.
• I am strong, capable, and ready to take on this chapter of my life.
• Ilove my life and I am grateful for each new opportunity.

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• 5 Positive Affirmations for New Beginnings by Michelle Maros
• 7 Mindful Practices for Starting a New Chapter by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle tackle the topic of apologies, and how to spot the difference between a real one, and a fake one. They also distinguish between apologizing and making amends and which practice is more powerful in mending relationships. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Here is a quick overview of what IS NOT an apology:

• I am sorry but….
• I apologize if what happened upset you…..
• I regret that happened…..
• I apologize if you….

A real apology doesn’t make excuses. It takes responsibility and makes changes to the behavior.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Making Amends in Addiction Recovery
• Have You Ever Received an Apology that Didn’t Really Feel Like the Person was Sorry
• Drop a Heart if You Have Ever Received a Fake Apology
• The Importance of Responsibility by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the uncomfortable, hard truths that they had to UNlearn. They also share the vulnerable, personal stories of how they came to these revelations, and how it has impacted their daily lives. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

7 Hard Truths That We Have Had To UNLearn:

1. All you need is love to make a relationship work. You can love someone but know that relationship is not in the best interest for either of you. And therefore, you can love them from afar. 
2. The right person will come along when you are ready. 
3. If I communicate clearly, people will always understand me. Even if you communicate clearly and from a place in the heart, you still not be understood by the person or people listening. 
4. More self-care will fix your problems.
5. Blood is thicker than water. Family is everything. 
6. If someone isn’t into you the way you are into them, they will change if you work hard enough.
7. If we change jobs, move to a better place, have a baby, buy a house, therelationship will be better and fixed.

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In part two of their conversation, Barb and Michelle disclose the second half of their list of life lessons from Barb! Recording this episode was a favorite for them both, as they loved sharing their personal stories, insights, and takeaways. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

 Episode Notes:

The Top Lessons Michelle Learned from Barb

1. You can’t control anything in the outside world, but you can control your reaction to it.  
2. Never do anything if you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired (HALT). Just pause and ask yourself: Are you hungry? Are you Angry? Are you lonely? Are you tired?
3. There is peace in the pause.
4. Be where your feet are.
5. The present moment is where your power is. The present moment is the opportunity to choose. 
6. Don’t be a victim.
7. The relationship you cultivate with yourself is the most important relationship you can have. Be your own best friend. 

Bonus Lesson:  Choose your battles. Your peace is more important that being right 

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