In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle tackle the topic of apologies, and how to spot the difference between a real one, and a fake one. They also distinguish between apologizing and making amends and which practice is more powerful in mending relationships. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Here is a quick overview of what IS NOT an apology:

• I am sorry but….
• I apologize if what happened upset you…..
• I regret that happened…..
• I apologize if you….

A real apology doesn’t make excuses. It takes responsibility and makes changes to the behavior.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Making Amends in Addiction Recovery
• Have You Ever Received an Apology that Didn’t Really Feel Like the Person was Sorry
• Drop a Heart if You Have Ever Received a Fake Apology
• The Importance of Responsibility by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the uncomfortable, hard truths that they had to UNlearn. They also share the vulnerable, personal stories of how they came to these revelations, and how it has impacted their daily lives. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

7 Hard Truths That We Have Had To UNLearn:

1. All you need is love to make a relationship work. You can love someone but know that relationship is not in the best interest for either of you. And therefore, you can love them from afar. 
2. The right person will come along when you are ready. 
3. If I communicate clearly, people will always understand me. Even if you communicate clearly and from a place in the heart, you still not be understood by the person or people listening. 
4. More self-care will fix your problems.
5. Blood is thicker than water. Family is everything. 
6. If someone isn’t into you the way you are into them, they will change if you work hard enough.
7. If we change jobs, move to a better place, have a baby, buy a house, therelationship will be better and fixed.

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In part two of their conversation, Barb and Michelle disclose the second half of their list of life lessons from Barb! Recording this episode was a favorite for them both, as they loved sharing their personal stories, insights, and takeaways. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

 Episode Notes:

The Top Lessons Michelle Learned from Barb

1. You can’t control anything in the outside world, but you can control your reaction to it.  
2. Never do anything if you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired (HALT). Just pause and ask yourself: Are you hungry? Are you Angry? Are you lonely? Are you tired?
3. There is peace in the pause.
4. Be where your feet are.
5. The present moment is where your power is. The present moment is the opportunity to choose. 
6. Don’t be a victim.
7. The relationship you cultivate with yourself is the most important relationship you can have. Be your own best friend. 

Bonus Lesson:  Choose your battles. Your peace is more important that being right 

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This week, Michelle shares her favorite life lessons she learned from having Barb as her mom! Learn personal stories, vulnerable shares, and life changing insights. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

The Top Lessons Michelle Learned from Barb

1. You can’t control anything in the outside world, but you can control your reaction to it.  
2. Never do anything if you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired (HALT). Just pause and ask yourself: Are you hungry? Are you Angry? Are you lonely? Are you tired?
3. There is peace in the pause.
4. Be where your feet are.

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle interview a special guest, Nedra Glover Tawwab. Nedra is a licensed therapist and relationship expert, who speaks about her newly released, bestselling book, Drama Free, as well as how we can take the simple steps to start healing, today Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Drama Free by Nedra Glover Tawwab
• Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
• The Set Boundaries Workbook by Nedra Glover Tawwab
• Nedra Tawwab Instagram

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This week, Barb and Michelle continue their conversation from the week before, discussing the topic of letting go, moving on, and finding peace. It can be challenging for all of us to find closure when we don’t get the apology or validation that we feel we are owed. Luckily, we don’t need the external world to give us permission to be free. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Helpful Steps to Guide You in Your Practice of Acceptance:

1. Know yourself. Ask yourself what it is you want to get out of it. Is it an apology? Is it peace?
2. Know how to pick your battles and where you should be placing your energy.
3. Know when to take an action and what that action is.
4. Know that what’s done is done. Don’t let yourself relive the past over and over.
5. Know that it is all going to be okay.

Grandma Sumana Poem

After all those years

looking after others, 

this old heart has finally learned

to look after itself. 

Each act of kindness 

a stitch in this warm blanket

that now covers me

while I sleep.

 References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• The Truelove by David Whyte
• The Power of Practicing Acceptance by Michelle Maros
• The First Free Women: Poems of the Early Buddhist Nuns, translated by Matty Weingast

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the emotional topic of closure, how they’ve begun to redefine it in their lives, and how they think we all can find it, in a meaningful and real way. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Visualize cutting the chords of the areas of your life that cause you suffering and pain.
• Give yourself grace and love. Repeat to yourself , I love you, I care about you, I care about your suffering, and I care about your pain.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
• Drama Free by Nedra Glover Tawwab
• How We Heal by Alex Elle
• The Sugar Jar by Yasmine Cheyenne
• Tyler Perry Video
• Cutting Cords Meditation

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle get personal and vulnerable with lessons they’ve learned so far in 2023 and how they’ve impacted their mindset in life. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

We cannot control anything in the outside world. We cannot control what people think of us. But we can control our own actions and reactions.

Becoming the villain in someone’s story is allowing yourself to accept their feelings for something they believe you did wrong, while knowing that your actions were done with the intention of self-care, not to inflict harm or pain on someone else.              

Helpful Reminders:    

• It's okay to disappoint someone else if you're standing up for yourself.
• It's okay to set boundaries in relationships that aren't supportive, or loving, or in alignment, because you feel called to do so.
• It's okay to speak your truth, even if you know that the people that are listening might not like it.
• It’s okay to say no.
• It's okay to stop communicating with someone because they're not respecting you or your wishes.
• It’s okay to not tolerate those parts of your life that drag you down, make you feel less than, or don't allow you to live your fullest best life.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• My Favorite Lesson I’ve Learned in 2023 So Far by Michelle Maros
• Crossing the Flood, A Commentary on the Oghatarana Sutta

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss how, when, and why to make those big life choices. It can be a challenge to know when to make a shift, but as we know, life is a journey not a destination. Barb and Michelle share personal stories and real-life situations that inspired them to make life changes with confidence and grace. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

The greatest hindrance to change is not being connected to one’s self.

1% Rule – There are 1,440 minutes in a day. Taking 14 minutes, just 1% of your day, to take pause, breath and bring yourself back to the present moment, it can transform the 99% of your day.

Helpful tools when considering change:

1. Find small ways in your life to fortify your bravery that will help you as you look to pivot and make those changes in your life.
2. Set boundaries with the things that you will and will not tolerate.
3. If you are considering a change, but the answer is not clear at the moment, then it’s not time to make the change.

3 Simple Steps When Pivoting In Life:

1. Feel.
2. Make a small, tiny action
3. Check in with yourself.  

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

1 to 60 Rule That Pilots Use to Correct

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

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This week, Barb and Michelle tackle the difficult topic of disappointment and how they manage it. We know how hard it is to feel rejected and like life doesn't have your back. In this episode, we discuss how to manage disappointment, rejection, and trusting the timing of life. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Reminders to help us reframe our feelings of rejection and disappointment:

• Remember to keep the faith. 
• Remember that rejection isn’t personal. No one has the power to name who you are.
• Remember sometimes we can't see for the full story that is, we are only looking at one small chapter at a time.
• Remember to let life guide you.
• Remember that what’s for you won’t pass you.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

It’s Not Rejection, It’s Redirection by Michelle Maros

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Join Barb and Michelle for part 2 of their conversation about their favorite inspirational reads. They had so much to say, and so many books to share they needed more than one episode! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Seek inspiration from a person but keep your own unique path.

Barb’s Favorite Memoir:

• Finding Me by Viola Davis

Barb’s Favorite Re-read:

• Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

Barb’s Favorite Book to Give as a Gift:

• Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed

Barb’s Favorite Audiobook:

• I Take My Coffee Black by Tyler Merritt

Michelle’s Favorite Audiobook:

• Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown
• Becoming by Michelle Obama

Barb’s Favorite Audio Book When You Feel Like You Are Losing Yourself:

• Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

Barb’s Favorite Book for Transitions in Life:

• Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

Barb and Michelle’s Favorite Book for Teens:

• The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Michelle’s Overall Self-Help Favorite:

• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Barb & Michelle’s Top 15 Inspirational Books

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In this week’s long awaited episode, Barb and Michelle dive into their favorite inspirational reads. Book recommendations are one of the most commonly asked questions, so we are thrilled to share the books that have gotten us through so much in life. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Reading can help you find your mentors and inspirational advisors.

Barb’s first book out of treatment:

• The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

Barb’s first inspirational book:

• Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

To be followed by Michelle’s favorite companion book:

• Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie

Two books that Barb recommends the most:

• Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
• Set Boundaries Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab

The book that Barb recommends if you are going through a difficult time.

• When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön

Michelle’s recommendations to tap into your creativity:

• The Artist Way by Julia Cameron
• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• How Reading Can Lead to Inspired Living by Michelle Maros
• Barb & Michelle’s Top 15 Inspirational Books

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about one of their favorite books, Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, and how it’s teaching and insights helped them to release codependent relationships. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic where one person assumes the role of “the giver,” sacrificing their own needs and well-being for the sake of the other, “the taker.’

Red Flags of Codependency:

• Putting the other person’s needs above your own.
• Feeling like you cannot live without a person.
• Relying your happiness on someone or something else.
• People-pleasing to an extreme level.
• Having rigid expectations of what you think will make you happy.
• Losing your sense of boundaries and what you will and will not tolerate.
• Participating in things that go against your best interest.
• Ignoring your intuition or advice of loved ones.
• Feeling stuck, trapped, or unclear how to make a change.
• Loss of your own sense of identity and desire.

 

Helpful Tips as You Come Out of a Codependent Relationship:

• Begin a daily meditation/mindfulness practice that works for you.
• Establish a strong, centered relationship with yourself.
• Learn how to take care of yourself first.
• Get clear on what you want in your life.
• Cultivate a sense of self-confidence and self-worth to believe you are worthy of your desires. You don’t have to settle.
• Get clear on your boundaries: what you will and will not tolerate.
• Seek professional assistance when necessary.

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
• Codependency by Psychology Today
• Breaking This Pattern Changed My Relationships by Michelle Maros

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This week, Barb and Michelle dive into the sensitive and sometimes tricky topic of breakups…friendship breakups! It’s common for us to discuss overcoming heartbreak in romantic relationships, but what can we do to move on and heal from an estranged friendship? Barb and Michelle share vulnerable stories and examples from their lives on lessons learned from friendship breakups, and more! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Loyalty is a feeling of understanding and grace rather than an action. It’s a person being present in the moment with you.
• Being your own best friend leads to healthy friendships all around you.

 

Helpful lessons that we have learned from friendships breakups:

1. Friendships do not need to last forever to be meaningful, impactful or loving.
2. Human beings are never stagnant. We are always changing, growing, and evolving. Relationships change as you do.
3. We never really know what other people’s life experiences are like, which means that we can never fully understand why some people act the way that they do.
4. Sometimes the most loving act we can do for someone is give them space and grace.
5. It's okay to set boundaries with people that you love.

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Five Lessons I’ve Learned From Ended Friendships by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the habit they consider to be the biggest hindrance to happiness and joy: comparison. Learn reminders and simple boundaries you can set with yourself to begin to release the need to compete and compare and find more peace from within. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at  www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Reminders to help when we get into comparative thinking

1. Your path is your own.
2. You are where you need to be in this moment.
3. You are good enough and worthy enough to achieve your desires.
4. There is room for everyone to achieve their dreams and one person’s success doesn’t take away from your success.
5. You don’t have to conform to anyone else’s timeline.
6. Trust that life is unfolding for you as it is.

 

Social media reminders:

• Know your limits and your triggers.
• Feel free to unfollow or mute people you are following any time.
• Have creative affirmations for yourself to counteract those negative thoughts.
• Replace internet time with self-care practices.
• Create boundaries with your social media time.
• Social media is highlight reel.

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

5 Reminders to Release Comparison and Competition by Michelle Maros

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others by Rachel Cruze

The One Habit That Robs You of Happiness by Michelle Maros

Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed

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In this very special episode, Barb and Michelle celebrate one year of Barb Knows Best, the Podcast! In this time, they reflect on some of the biggest, most impactful lessons they’ve learned since launching the show, and what they hope to pass along to all of the listeners! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

15 Things That Were “Up” for Us in Our First Year:

1. Give yourself grace and pause to feel the feelings.
2. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Be curious about the unknown. We don’t know what is on the other side of fear and self-doubt.
3. Amazing things can happen when you commit to your dreams.
4. Don’t take things personally. There will always be people committed to misunderstanding you.
5. There is power in shared experiences and shared vulnerability.
6. Learn who you can trust and how to discern who has earned that trust.
7. You are not alone. There are people out there who want to help you. You simply have to ask.
8. Know who YOUR people are. Understand the importance of asking those people for help when you need it. Your people ARE YOUR people.
9. Healthy boundaries are important.
10. Be where your feet are, the present moment is truly where we have our power.
11. There is power in the PAUSE.
12. Every storm runs out of rain. ~ Maya Angelou
13. Happiness is choosing one thought over the other.
14. Life is not a one and done, we are always learning.
15. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Even with all the practices, self-compassion continues to be the hardest one to adapt in our lives.

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab

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In a very special episode of Barb Knows Best, Michelle and Barb are joined by dear friend, author of the just-released book, The Sugar Jar, coach, and speaker, Yasmine Cheyenne. This intimate and vulnerable conversation dives into the topics of real self-care, life changes and transitions, and how to maintain a centering practice to connect with yourself, through it all. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes

• Try to follow the 24-hour rule before making any decision to help you establish boundaries and choose yourself. Ask yourself:
• Do I have space for this?
• Do I have time for this?
• Is this in alignment with what I said I want to do this year?
• And is this for me?  
• Give yourself grace because you are going to make choices that are not go the way you intended.
• Healing is a forever process. It’s not a decision. We are all still healing each day.  
• You are the only person who knows what you need.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• The Sugar Jar by Yasmine Cheyenne
• IG Live with Yasmine Cheyenne
• @YasmineCheyenne

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle take listeners through their detailed process of getting unstuck. It’s common for us to feel like we get stuck in ruts, habits, and situations that aren’t in our best interest. Luckily, we can start to move ourselves forward and out in an aligned, peaceful way. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Eight Simple Tools to become unstuck:

1. Take an honest inventory of what you are feeling.
2. Acknowledge the negative thoughts that are fueling how you are feeling.
3. Have curiosity about the core of the negative thoughts. Ask yourself where are these negative thoughts coming from?
4. Learn to modify the negative thoughts. Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you.
5. Come up with a positive replacement to intercept the negative thoughts.
6. Stretch your comfort zone. Even a tiny change can quickly shift the negative feelings of being stuck. 
7. Visualize the life you truly desire and the dreams you have. 
8. Realize your greatness lies in the power to choose your own thoughts.

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

5 Gentle Reminders for When You’re Feeling Stuck

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the popular Tiktok trend, Lucky Girl Syndrome. They dive into what it is, what is helpful with it, and how we can incorporate this mindset into our lives in a grounded, meaningful way. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Lucky Girl Syndrome is the idea that if you believe that things in life will go your way, they will.
• An empath is a person that can take on the emotions and feelings of another person. An empath with take on other persons pain and suffering as their own.
• Be grounded in who you are.
• Being a trauma survivor doesn’t mean you will never be triggered or that it goes away completely. It means that you have gotten to the point where you can live life successfully and fully in a kind, healthy and happy way.

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• TikTok's 'Lucky Girl Syndrome' Trend Might Be the Best Thing for Your Mental Health
• What Does It Mean to Be an Empath?

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the often overlooked “green flags” in life. We so often keep an eye out for the common “red flags” in life, but what are the good things to look for? Learn the foundational healthy traits of green flags and some underrated green flags to look out for! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

The foundation of green flags that are healthy traits of feeling safe and supported:

1. Clear communication

2. Honesty

3. Vulnerability

4. Displays healthy boundaries

5. Isn’t afraid to admit mistakes.

6. Loyalty

 

7 Underrated Green Flags to Look Out for:

1. They display genuine happiness for the success of others.

2. They don’t try to minimize someone’s accomplishments.

3. They are flexible and willing to adapt to changing circumstances and plans.

4. They are comfortable in saying “I don’t know”, or “I was wrong.”

5. They take accountability if they have done something wrong.

6. They are capable of listening to you without trying to “one up you”.

7. They are not easily triggered by negative feedback or criticism.

 

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

5 Green Flags in Relationships by Michelle Maros

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