For over fifteen years, writer Jeff Crosby has been searching for a language of the soul--a way to articulate our deepest longings. Through his book The Language of the Soul: Meeting God in the Longings of Our Hearts, he gifts us with those so-often-untranslatable desires of our hearts, guiding us to finally find the words and luminous insights for our own longings for home, for friendship, for forgiveness, and for transformation--and how God meets us in the midst of these longings.

Jeff Crosby is an organizational leader in the world of words, ideas, and book publishing. Currently president and CEO of a trade association of publishers, he has served in various executive roles, including as vice president at Ingram Book Company, and at IVP, a publisher in the Chicago area. He combines a background in journalism, leadership studies, and business with a love of language and insight from several fields in exploring faith and spirituality in light of applied practice. He and his wife of more than forty years, Cindy, have two grown children and six grandchildren.

Show notes

• Sign up for Ben's new Substack newsletter.
• Sign up for Matt's Substack newsletter, too.
• A Bright Sadness: Making Space for Grief and Joy (Aug 31 - Sep 2)

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A few weeks ago we talked about 7 common parenting pitfalls and we wanted to follow it up with a list of parenting "pro-tips" (even though none of us are "professional" parents lol), and make a list of 8 (one more than our list of pitfalls):

1. Reparent yourself first.
2. Cultivate natural consequences.
3. Normalize being wrong and apologizing.
4. Delight in the diversity of your kids.
5. Define your family values.
6. Focus on heart transformation, not behavior modification.
7. Spend more time with your kids.
8. Get other adults involved in your kids' lives.

Show notes:

• Parenting For Heart Transformation Diagram

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Christian spiritual formation resources and teachings have primarily come from Western spiritual traditions, which implicitly communicates that the white experience of God is the norm.

In Our Unforming: De-Westernizing Spiritual Formation, Cindy Lee proposes that, in our increasingly diverse contexts, we need new, non-Western cultural ways of being formed--turning from linear to cyclical, from cerebral to experiential, and from individual to collective.

Cindy S. Lee is a spiritual director and aspiring mystic and proudly Taiwanese-American. She leads retreats in the areas of Christian mysticism and BIPOC centered spirituality. She completed a PhD in Practical Theology in the area of Spiritual Formation from Claremont School of Theology. She teaches as an adjunct professor in the areas of Christian Spirituality and Spiritual Direction. In her free time, she enjoys street art, coffee, and exploring the city.

You can connect with Cindy on Instagram.

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After listening carefully to stories from people who suffered misogynistic, racist, or homophobic abuse at the hands of the church, Charles Kiser and Dr. Elaine Heath bring those stories into conversation with the death and resurrection of Jesus, and find in the gospel a God who shares the experience of the traumatized.

The result is their book Trauma-Informed Evangelism: Cultivating Communities of Wounded Healers, where they propose a new kind of evangelism—one based not on fear and coercion but on witnessing the unconditional love of God.

Charles Kiser is a pastor and theologian with Storyline Christian Community in Dallas, Texas, a network of missional communities he helped to form. He is passionate about creative expressions of Christian community, contemplative spirituality, and healing spiritual trauma. Kiser has a DMin in Contextual Theology from Northern Seminary and serves as a faculty member of Neighborhood Seminary.

Elaine Heath is the author of eleven books and numerous articles, the most recent books being Loving the Hell Out of Ourselves (and Others) (Birch & Alder, 2021), coauthored with her sister, Jeanine Heath-McGlinn. She formerly served as Dean of the Divinity School at Duke University, where she was also professor of missional and pastoral theology, and the McCreless Professor of Evangelism at Perkins School of Theology, Southern Methodist University. Heath cofounded two nonprofits: Missional Wisdom Foundation, and Neighborhood Seminary, a contextualized model of missional theological education for laity. Heath is an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church and served in pastoral ministry prior to her academic ministry. She currently lives with her husband at Spring Forest, an intentional Christian community and farm in rural North Carolina where she serves as abbess. You can connect with Elaine's work at elaineaheath.org.

Show notes

• The retreat we talk about in the intro: A Bright Sadness - making space for grief and joy Aug 31-Sep 2.

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A few weeks ago we released an episode ("5 Signs of a Toxic Leadership Culture") that garnered more response from listeners than we've ever received! So we wanted to record a follow-up episode reflecting on those responses and offering signs of a healthy, non-toxic leadership culture.

Here are the 5 signs, along with their toxic analogues:

1. From power flowing up & in to power flowing down & out.
2. From reality distortion to "reality is complicated."
3. From loyalty culture to love culture.
4. From "unable to have a Kairos" to celebrating and honoring learning.
5. From conflict being mishandled to conflict being addressed in a trauma informed way.

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We chat through 7 common parenting pitfalls that Christy compiled from her experience as a mother and a pastor. Take a deep breath and cultivate some compassion for yourself, and let's go! Here's the list:

1. Talk parenting
2. Bribe parenting
3. Excuse parenting
4. Shame parenting
5. Hover parenting
6. Blind parenting
7. Backwards parenting

Show notes:

• Eric Minton: What our Pain Reveals About the Anxious Pursuit of the Good Life (podcast episode)
• It's Not You, It's Everything: What Our Pain Reveals about the Anxious Pursuit of the Good Life (book by Eric Minton)

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Spiritual director Casey Tygrett joins us to challenge the notion that restlessness is a sign that we must move up, move on, or move out, and instead helps us explore some of our deepest questions: Where do I belong? What am I here for? Is there enough? Casey helps us begin to create a spirituality sturdy enough for our unsettled seasons.

Casey's new book is The Gift of Restlessness: A Spirituality For Unsettled Seasons.

You can connect with Casey's writing and work at caseytygrett.com.

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Rev. Joel Bowman joins Matt to chat about the recent rash of mass shootings and how they are grappling with how to understand and respond. This conversation is more personal and raw than most of our podcasts.

Rev. Joel A. Bowman, Sr. is a native of Detroit, Michigan, and has been in ministry for 28 years. He is the founder and senior pastor of the Temple of Faith Baptist Church, in Louisville, Kentucky, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, working with military veterans. Joel is a seminar facilitator, freelance writer, poet, and thought leader in the areas of racism and racial trauma. His work has been published in numerous places, including the Louisville Courier-Journal, The Front Porch, The Witness, Three-Fifths Magazine, and Baptist News Global. Joel is married to Nannette Mitchell Bowman, and they have 3 children: Kayla, Katie, and Joel, Jr.

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Sheila Gregoire joins us (again!) to talk about how to raise girls to resist the all-too-prevalent toxic teachings of purity culture. She shares how we can raise girls instead to become strong, resilient young women who know who they are, use their voices, and confidently step into their lives.

Sheila's new book is She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up.

You can connect with all of Sheila's work on her website.

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Why do we find it difficult to find a healthy rhythm of work and rest? Author, storyteller, and songwriter Justin McRoberts talks about this as a journey from the false self to the true self, discovering that growth and maturity take root in the knowledge of our belovedness in Christ.

Justin's new book Sacred Strides: The Journey to Belovedness in Work and Rest helps us learn that we are not tools in God's tool belt, valued only for our gifts and talents. Nor are we ascetics called to abandon "daily life" to find God in the desert. We are beloved by the One who holds all things together... including our need to work and our need to rest.

Justin McRoberts is an author, coach, speaker, and songwriter. For over 20 years, Justin has helped artists, ministers, and entrepreneurs find their way. From the stage, through his stories in books or during coaching sessions, he leans on his years of work and expertise as a minister and artist to help individuals and teams solve problems in their creative processes. When he’s not writing, speaking, or coaching, you can find him as the host of the At Sea Podcast. He lives in the East San Francisco Bay Area.

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In our experience, leadership cultures that hinder human flourishing have several common overlapping aspects. If we can learn to see these signs of toxic leadership cultures, we can

Here are the 5 signs of a toxic leadership culture we talk about in this episode:

1. Reality distortion
2. Loyalty culture
3. Unable to have a Kairos
4. Power flows up/in rather than down/out
5. Conflict is mishandled

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There are several major social issues affecting the church today. Not only are they causing confusion, but they are also often hidden beneath the surface, shaping the life of a congregation in ways that are difficult to recognize. But transformation is possible if we'll face these issues directly, seeking to notice how God is at work in the midst of these issues to renew life.

We can face these issues by understanding our local context, listening and learning from a variety of voices, telling the truth about ourselves, and taking action in solidarity with those who are suffering.

The five challenges we talk about in this episode are:

1. Racism in the church and in the world
2. Sexism and patriarchy
3. Christian nationalism
4. Gender and sexual diversity
5. Religious trauma and spiritual abuse

Show notes

• The article we reference and discuss on today's episode: How to Address the Challenges the Church Faces Today

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Too often when we come to the Bible, questions make us uncomfortable. But Marty Solomon wants to suggest that when we learn to ask better questions of the Bible, we form a new and deeper way of thinking about Scripture, understanding the Bible, and moving further into the depths of the mystery of God.

Marty Solomon is a theologian, the president and director of discipleship for Impact Christian Ministries, and the creator and executive producer of The BEMA Podcast and author of Asking Better Questions of the Bible: A Guide For the Wounded, Wary, and Longing for More. He and his wife, Rebekah, live in Cincinnati with their two children. You can connect with Marty and his work on his website martysolomon.com.

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It's common to hear Christians say things like "Christianity is neither right nor left, but a completely different kind of thing," and "Both the far-right and far-left are two sides of the same coin: fundamentalist extremes with different beliefs," and "“The problem is polarization."

These phrases are often employed toward a Christian "third way" politics that seeks to affirm the truth that the church is not bound by the left/right binary of US politics, but this way of talking about how the church relates to politics doesn't actually work on the ground, and usually ends up being a kind of "centrism" that serves to keep the status quo in place.

Pastors Melissa Florer-Bixler and Shawn McCain Tirres join us to talk about why Christian centrism is attractive, and unpack the problems of pursuing Christian centrist/third way politics, and we discuss more helpful ways of framing the church's relationship to politics and living our faithful lives of discipleship to Jesus in the world.

Melissa Florer-Bixler is the pastor of Raleigh Mennonite Church, and a graduate of Duke University and Princeton Theological Seminary. She spent times studying in Israel/Palestine, Kenya, and England. Much of her formation took place in the L'Arche community of Portland, OR and she now the chair of L'Arche North Carolina and a steering committee member in broad-based organizing in her county. Melissa's writing has appeared in Christian Century, Sojourners, Geez, Anabaptist Witness, The Bias, Faith&Leadership, and Anabaptist Vision. She's the author of Fire by Night: Finding God in the Pages of the Old Testament, and How to Have an Enemy: Righteous Anger and the Work of Peace, which we've talked about with her on this podcast.

Shawn McCain Tirres is the founding rector of Resurrection Anglican Church in South Austin, Texas. Before that he helped plant Redeemer Anglican Church in Santa Cruz, California. His doctoral work focused on a practical sacramental missiology, and he currently serves on the Revelation 7:9 Task Force for Justice and Inclusion for the Diocese of Churches for the Sake of Others.

Show notes

• The Adam Joyce article we reference: If there is a “third way”, this isn’t it: How Christian centrists acquiesce to America’s broken political system

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We finish (for now) our series on Mental Health and the Church with some reflections and questions we have about how faith and therapy relate: how they overlap and intersect, how they differ, and how to hold onto both.

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We continue our series on Mental Health and the Church with our own stories and experiences with therapy and mental health: good, bad and ugly.

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We continue our series on Mental Health and the Church with a few MORE myths you sent us in response to last week's episode, plus a conversation with some practical tips on how to be a "resonating witness" for others in conversations about mental health.

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Today we start a new series on Mental Health and the Church. Christianity in the US has had an uneasy history with the topic of mental health and illness, and we'd like to learn to integrate our faith with the best of what we're learning about mental health.

This first episode deals with 5 common Christian myths about mental illness that need to be exposed and rejected if we're going to make any progress. Here are the myths we talk about:

1. Christians Can’t Be Mentally Ill
2. The Cure for Mental Illness Is Prayer
3. Depressed or Anxious Christians Are Sinful
4. Spiritually Healthy Christians Are Mentally Healthy
5. Mentally Ill Christians Just Need Biblical Counseling*

Show Notes:

• Our article that lists the 5 myths we discussed on today's episode: Mental Health & the Church

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Deconstruction: is it just a trendy brand name for falling away from belief in God? Or a process essential to authentic faith? Is it liberation or trauma? Prison break or exile? Well, Bradley Jersak joins us again to say... it's complicated (just like you!). We talk with Bradley about the themes of his latest book Out of the Embers: Faith After the Great Deconstruction, which explores the necessity, perils, and possibilities of "The Great Deconstruction."

Bradley Jersak is the Dean of Theology & Culture, a graduate studies program at St. Stephen's University in New Brunswick, Canada. He also serves as an editor at CWRmagazine and Clarion-Journal.com. Bradley and his wife, Eden, have lived in the Abbotsford area of British Columbia since 1988, where they served as pastors and church planters for twenty years. Bradley is the author of a number of nonfiction and fiction books, including A More Christlike Word,  A More Christlike God, A More Christlike Way, Her Gates Will Never Be Shut, Can You Hear Me?: Tuning in to the God Who Speaks, and The Pastor: A Crisis.

You can connect with Bradley and see what he's up to on his website: bradjersak.com.

Show Notes:

• We mentioned Bradley's article "The Meeting Place: Facilitating Encounters with God".

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Throughout Holy Week, two competing approaches to peacemaking collide: the way of Jesus and the way of the religious and political elite. What if we're investing our lives in the wrong approach? What if—despite clinging to the cross of Christ for our salvation—we’ve actually embraced a different approach to peacemaking? One that justifies killing enemies. One whose methods include nailing criminals to crosses.

Jason Porterfield joins us to talk about these questions, which are central to his book Fight Like Jesus: How Jesus Waged Peace throughout Holy Week, a day-by-day walk through Jesus’ final week that helps readers discover anew why he is called the Prince of Peace.

Jason Porterfield holds a masters in theology from Fuller Theological Seminary and has worked in Indonesia and Vancouver, CA with Servants, an international network of Christian communities living and ministering among the urban poor. His previous work includes the ebook 100 Early Christian Quotes on Not Killing which you can get a free copy of directly from his website JasonPorterfield.com.

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