Spiritual Burnout: Why Doing Everything Right Left Kayla Andersen Too Tired to Open Her Bible

Episode Summary

Can you burn out on your faith? Kayla Andersen grew up in church five to seven days a week, served on every ministry team she could, and by the time she finished Bible college she could barely open her Bible or walk through the church doors. In this episode of the God + Mental Health Podcast, Roslyn and Kayla talk honestly about spiritual burnout, the shame and apathy that come with it, and how learning to lament helped Kayla reconnect with God.

What We Talk About

How spiritual burnout starts

Kayla describes herself as a people pleaser, a perfectionist, and an eldest daughter who just wanted to know what was required of her and how to meet it. Before college she was at church most days of the week, serving in worship, children's ministry, youth leadership, and summer camp. Then Bible school added a new layer: reading Scripture like a textbook and writing long theology papers. She knew all the right answers in her head, but she was empty. And because she believed the problem was her, that she didn't want God enough, shame piled on top of the exhaustion.

Why it's hard to name

Most of us connect the word burnout to jobs and corporate culture, not faith. Kayla didn't have language for what she was feeling. She just knew she was tired and believed she was supposed to push through, find joy, and keep saying yes. She calls this "white knuckling" her faith, running on a list of supposed-to's about what a good Christian does.

Apathy when you still care

Kayla would have told you her faith was the thing she cared about most. But her body and mind were reacting to exhaustion with apathy in practice. What she was doing on the outside got disconnected from where she actually was on the inside. Roslyn shares that for her, burnout has shown up as full disengagement, pulling away from anything faith-related. She also names how lonely this season can be: people affirm everything you're doing on the outside while you feel terrible on the inside.

Why we're afraid to get curious

When your whole life has been built around pleasing God and the people who lead you, the main way to "go deeper" usually looks like serving more and doing more. So when something stops working, it feels like it must be your fault. Kayla shares that asking questions used to feel like the start of a slippery slope toward doubt. Real recovery started when she let curiosity ask what wasn't working and moved toward rhythms based on who God says she is, not what she does for Him. As she puts it, if she never does another thing for the Lord, she is still loved.

You live life seasonally, not generally

Roslyn shares something she's been chewing on: life comes in seasons. Her boys won't be little forever, and her relationship with God will look different over time too. There are seasons for serving and seasons for receiving, seasons of fasting and praying and seasons where God says rest. She's clear that church systems for serving aren't bad. They help new believers and give people meaningful ways to serve. The issue is treating one season's level of involvement as a permanent requirement.

Asking God questions is part of faith

Kayla points to the long Jewish tradition of wrestling with God that runs through the Old Testament, and to the question-based discipleship model rabbis used in Jesus' time. She compares it to a toddler's "why" stage. Asking questions is relational. It's how we draw near.

Lament: Telling God the truth

Kayla admits the first time she learned to lament, it felt like self-pity. If you're used to putting a positive spin on everything, you haven't built the muscle to sit in the tension that God is good and this situation is not. She walks through how lament psalms are built: name what's wrong, bring it to God, ask Him to act, even hold His promises up to Him. Yes, those psalms end in praise, but getting there can take weeks or months.

Roslyn shares a moment from a wilderness season after her first son was born, when money was tight and she couldn't pay for his speech therapy. She cried in the car and asked God what more He wanted from her. She calls it "crashing out on God," and says it's okay. Kayla shares her own story of spending much of her twenties in a ministry that eventually imploded. She felt like a pawn on a chessboard and wasn't sure she'd recover. While wrestling with God, she pictured a small child throwing punches at their father while he pulled them in closer. When we skip the grieving and wrestling, we skip the healing too.

Shame makes us hide

Roslyn connects this to Adam hiding in the garden after eating from the tree, and God asking, "Who told you that you were naked?" Shame pulls us away from God. Kayla adds that we don't have to protect God from our emotions or make our feelings smaller and more palatable for Him. One of the biggest shifts in her faith was going from being "God's teacher's pet" to simply bringing her whole self to Him.

Practical rhythms for recovery

Kayla's biggest tip is structure, because it takes the pressure off. You don't have to feel a certain way or pray a polished prayer. Ideas she shares:

• Meet with God at the same time and place each day
• Use a Bible reading plan or read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year app so you aren't deciding what to read when you're running on empty
• Let go of chasing a big "download" every time you open your Bible
• Play worship music while you do everyday tasks like washing dishes
• Build in time to check in with yourself: Where am I at? Do I need to say no to something this week? Does my calendar need to change?
• Pray honest prayers like, "I want to want You, and today I don't."

Key Takeaways

• Spiritual burnout often grows out of people pleasing, perfectionism, and a faith built on performance.
• Apathy can show up even when you deeply care about God.
• Curiosity and questions are invitations to go deeper, not signs you're losing your faith.
• Lament is a biblical way to bring pain, anger, and grief straight to God.
• You are loved by God apart from anything you do for Him.
• Simple structures help you stay connected to God when you aren't at 100%.

Scriptures Referenced

• Ecclesiastes 3:1-8: a time for every season
• Psalm 22:1: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (the lament psalm Jesus quoted)
• Matthew 27:46 (also Mark 15:34): Jesus quoting Psalm 22 from the cross
• Mark 9:24: "I believe; help my unbelief," from the father of the tormented boy
• Genesis 3:8-12: Adam and Eve hide, God asks "Where are you?" and "Who told you that you were naked?" and Adam blames Eve
• 1 Samuel 13:14 and Acts 13:22: David described as a man after God's own heart
• John 14:16, 26: the Holy Spirit as Comforter
• The Psalms of lament (general reference): many written by David

Resources and Links Mentioned

• Take It From Kayla website: takeitfromkayla.com
• Take It From Kayla on social media and Substack (same handle on most platforms)
• Kayla's blog series on spiritual burnout and lament
• Kayla's spiritual burnout blueprint, which includes scripts for saying no, the seven types of rest and how to practice them, Scripture for setting new rhythms, journal prompts for reconnecting with God, and ideas for restructuring your calendar
• Bible reading plans and read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year apps (general mention, no specific app named)

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