In this session, we discussed the anxiety of moving into a new location, and how that is going to work financially. We challenged all the negative possibilities (the fear from the lizard brain, the child having a temper tantrum) with the idea of all the good things that could come from this experience.

For this session, we talked a lot about money mindset, money boundaries with Superman, and inherited and learned behaviors from your family when it comes to money.

• Forced to take PTO this week due to burnout and making mistakes.
• Feeling disengaged, dissatisfied, and burnt out with the corporate world.
• Discussed 'the golden handcuffs' of the corporate world for both yourself and Superman.

• Parents returned from the U.K
• Superman is in the hospital, needed 30k to pay for it upfront. Discussion about department being under investigation for embezzlement.
• Guilt and anxiety about giving money away. Resentment with family for not helping you when you needed it.

• "Scattered brain time"
• Discussion about finances, possible raise at work, getting comfortable with things being tight financially.
• Anxiety around money.

• Analysis and discussion of the breakup, bisexuality, lack of compatibility with values and perspectives, etc.
• CFO gave resignation, workload spike.
• Discussion about 'the boy from Luxembourg'.

The Breakup

• Conflict with your parents about moving out, ended up letting go of an opportunity for moving out to a new apartment.
• Disappointing interaction on a camping trip with the current boyfriend; got feedback from a good friend about his insincerity in the relationship.
• Continued processing about the dysfunction of the relationship.

Here are the main takeaways from our session: 

• You're still working on finding the right moment to break up with the boyfriend. He recently made a comment about "deprograming you from being a Democrat". Understanding that, as facetious as it sounds, there's a part of him that means it is the final straw for you. The breakup is not a matter of if, but when, and we will discuss what tools you might need to help support you to do that, possibly in a future session
• We spent a great deal of time questioning what level of distance you need from your parents, and what you were comfortable with doing to make that happen. You ultimately decided you want to stay in California, so you can stay with your current job for 3 more years, but that you're willing to move to something more affordable (the "East Bay"), even if that causes possible conflict with your family. 
• We talked about how the dynamic in your house is equivalent to "emotional asbestos", and that it's time to make some moves (literally and figuratively) and decisions to make that happen, hopefully by October, as your parents will be on vacation to Ireland during that time. 
• The goal between now and next week is to keep looking for apartments and applying, and if the right time comes up, to break up with the boyfriend.

We started the session by chatting about how you look at birthdays as a time to reflect, to take stock on the previous years, and to look at what you want your upcoming year to look like.

You talked about how you were able to connect with your best friend yesterday, and how valuable those friendships are to you, and how you want to plan and make time for them in your future, as they're an important part of your life. 

That segued into what took up the majority of our time, which was talking about the boyfriend. You articulated that your boyfriend provides the 'bare minimum' for your emotional needs, and how you have felt very lonely and neglected in the relationship. 

We talked about how you feel that because you may cause someone pain, or that you may be perceived as "the bad guy" by breaking up with him. but also that honoring your needs is valid. We talked about how it's possible that your boyfriend may not know how to communicate within a relationship, or know how to create that 'push/pull' that you would want in a partner, and that you're discouraged and frustrated at his lack of emotional insight and intelligence about you and how you're doing. 

Ultimately, you're choosing to do the hard thing and honor your authentic self by ending the relationship with him. You asked for written confirmation that: "Remember, you have all the evidence that you need."

We also talked about how, for next week, you want to review your expenses, and see what you can do to boost your savings contribution. You are also trying to decide on what you want to do with the CD, and are still working on your research for immigration to either Ireland or Amsterdam, and you're looking into the health care requirements needed to do so. 

Today, we talked about how you made progress on some of your goals from last week, namely that you opened a high-yield savings account with SoFi, and are getting the 2% APY. We also talked about how you're noticing a major downtick in credit card debt, which is an important goal for you. Keep up the good work. 

We talked about how you're struggling to 'break up with the boyfriend'. You mentioned past relationships, where your takeaway was that you need a 'good enough reason' to break up with someone, such as unacceptable, intolerable behavior, (violence and abuse) or when you saw that it wasn't in your partner's best interest to stay in the relationship. We talked about how you feel ready to leave the relationship when you fear for your safety, or when the other person is potentially suffering by being with you, and that your goal is to work towards feeling comfortable to stand up for your own happiness and needs and be willing to break up with someone for that reason alone. 

We talked about two alter egos, one being the 'bat girl', the woman who is strong and willing to stand up for what is right and take care of business if the situation demands it, and the other alter being the softer, kinder Eileen, who is thoughtful and considerate of others and their needs. We talked about how both egos are valid, but the ultimate goal in reclaiming your authenticity is finding a way to merge the two together, and that learning how to do so involves giving the soft, kind Eileen practice in being strong and brave for herself. 

We also talked about how even small things, like the way you dress, is a part of that process. We talked about how you used to dress in a way that was 'formidable', 'tailored', and 'curated', and some of your current wardrobe reflects this feeling of wanting to hide. 

We ended the session with the vision that going into this week, you would continue to marinate on this idea of practicing your authenticity, while also working on the following: 

1. Continue working towards your financial goals, such as opening a CD. 
2. Research the immigration requirements for possible European countries to move to, namely, Amsterdam.