• Adopting kids & traveling the world with Erin Burchik - Story 7

    Welcome to Week 7 of our Summer of Stories series! This Summer we have been featuring stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments. 


    In this week’s story, you will hear from the delightful, creative and intentional Erin Burchik. She is a family friend and I have long-admired her approach to parenting. She desperately wants to enjoy each of her kids and embrace the “good ole days” of kids in the home. She will share how traveling and taking trips became a passion of hers. And she will share some super practical ways to make trips doable and affordable when you’re on a budget.


    Before we get to the scoop on traveling for less, she shares her story about becoming a mom. Through many trials and some devastating financial loss, Erin has fought through doubt and frustration with God. She felt called to adopt and then it didn’t go as smoothly as she had hoped. It’s so fun to see her on the other side of this battle and see the family that God designed from the very beginning. 


    My favorite part is when she explains the WHY behind their family adventures. She’s not traveling to flex on Instagram or show off or waste money. She’s traveling because she wants to create memories with her kids, to carve out time to adventure together and to get out of their comfort zone. I love her approach!


    In this episode, we discuss:

    • Erin’s journey to motherhood - foster care and adoption
    • How to find community with other adopted families
    • How to exchange gifts for experiences at Christmas
    • How to find creative ways to do big trips on a little budget


    Enjoy!!

    Courtney

    Chapters

    00:00

    Introduction and Background

    04:02

    The Journey of Adoption

    08:57

    Building a Supportive Community

    18:13

    Creating Lasting Memories

    20:05

    Santa Bringing Christmas Trips

    22:10

    Maximizing Credit Card Points

    25:29

    Saving Thousands on Family Trips

    28:21

    Benefits of Traveling with Kids

    30:15

    Building Independence and Confidence

    33:31

    Enjoying Motherhood and Savoring the Moments


    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith


    Resources from today’s show:

    StrongHeart

    Erin’s Instagram

    Erin’s travel site - Points For Families

    Erin’s book - Animals of the Nativity

    Erin’s book - The Bear Hug

    TBRI for families that have adopted



    Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Join the Christian Parenting Legacy Builders community





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    38m - Jul 18, 2024
  • Do I have a drinking problem or thinking problem? With Jenn Kautsch - Story 6

    When I engage with young moms, I often get asked a lot about alcohol. These women are wanting me to give them an “official answer” about how a Christian woman should handle alcohol. And I often don’t have the specific answer they want - because it is so often in the gray area. And only the person asking the question knows what’s going on under the issue.


    Today’s story is about a mom that got curious about her relationship with alcohol in her early 30s. As you hear her story, you will be inspired to take an honest assessment and just get curious about your relationship with alcohol. She called it “getting sober minded.” 


    Although I don’t drink - I have my own vices which we discuss. I joke about my love of the phone, cookie dough and TJMaxx. If I’m honest, I often use those to outsource my comfort. This isn’t an episode for moms that drink - this is an episode for all of us. 


    My favorite part is when Jenn shares about the benefits of operating in a sober mind. She reminds us that being present with our kids is worth the fight. Let’s lean into Jenn’s story together and be brave enough to hear what God is nudging us to do in response. 


    Don’t forget to check in our Jenn’s community called Sober Sis and utilize all of the fantastic resources that are helping thousands of women become sober-minded and enjoy this life to the fullest!


    In this episode we chat about: 

    • Jenn’s journey with alcohol and finding a sober-minded life
    • How to pay attention to what God is saying to us directly
    • How to get curious about areas of addiction in our lives
    • How to fight for presence with our families 


    00:00

    Introduction and Connection

    02:33

    Early Years and Introduction to Social Drinking

    05:46

    The Influence of Mommy Wine Culture

    07:41

    Outsourcing Comfort and Dealing with Anxiety

    09:44

    Questioning the Relationship with Drinking

    12:30

    Understanding the Mindset and Motivations Behind Drinking

    19:28

    Questioning Your Relationship with Drinking

    21:57

    Introduction: Jenn's Journey of Sobriety

    25:08

    The Importance of Addressing the Root Cause

    28:40

    Taking the First Step: Sobriety Curiosity

    33:28

    Shifting Mindset: Gaining, Not Giving Up

    39:11

    The Power of Community in Sobriety

    42:59

    Personal Growth and Sobriety

    45:07

    Conclusion: Encouragement for Moms


    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith


    Resources from today’s show:


    Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Join the Christian Parenting Legacy Builders community




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    42m - Jul 11, 2024
  • The hard truth about loneliness with Stacey Morgan - Story 5

    Happy July 4th!


    This week’s story features my friend, Stacey Morgan, who is an astronaut’s wife! Her life is truly fascinating. Her family is currently living in the Marshall Islands which is 5 hours south of Hawaii. 


    Stacey honestly shares the truth about loneliness. She has had to start over multiple times as a military spouse. I love her hard truth about loneliness: we have to make the first move. She also shares how her kids are thriving as they were uprooted from the cultural norm in Texas, and now live on an island with 1,200 people total. They are learning valuable life lessons about what’s most important.


    My favorite part is at the very end when she talks about her top learning as a mom of over 20 years. Her encouragement to “let go” was really timely for me. I am having trouble letting go of my oldest who is a rising senior. I need that reminder over and over again. 


    In this episode, we chat about:

    • How to navigate marriage when you are both strong leaders
    • How to start over when you move into a new city (or island! :)
    • Why community matters in motherhood
    • How to make friends as an adult woman 
    • What to do when you’re deeply lonely

    Chapters

    00:00

    Introduction and Background

    02:47

    Moving to the Marshall Islands

    05:58

    Supporting a Spouse's Career

    11:04

    Living in a Small Community

    15:01

    Transition and Loneliness

    23:57

    Supporting Military Spouses and Moms

    26:30

    The Importance of Community for Military Families

    31:16

    MomCo: Supporting Military Moms

    39:19

    Lessons in Trust and Letting Go

    44:28

    The Power of Grace and Understanding in Parenting


    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith



    Resources from today’s show:


    Stacey Morgan’s site 


    Stacey’s Instagram


    Stacey’s Book: The Astronaut’s Wife


    MomCo - Military Meetups


    How to start an online MomCo group



    Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Join the Christian Parenting Legacy Builders community





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    44m - Jul 4, 2024
  • From blindness to healing with Kylie White - Story 4

    If she wasn’t one of my best friends, I don’t know if I would believe this story. However, it is true and real and incredibly powerful. My friend, Kylie White, was fully healed from near blindness. Her story and her miracle has exploded my faith the last several years. It has given me courage to pray bigger prayers. 


    I will never be over what God did for Kylie. Even though I’ve heard this story many times, I heard even more details during this conversation which exploded my faith yet again. God is so good. I’m truly excited for us all to have this reminder today through Kylie’s story.


    My favorite part is hearing how she got to the miracle day. Listen closely as she shares the years leading up to her miracle. Lean into what God was pressing on her heart. And let’s lean into what God wants to say to you through her story. What is He asking you to release and surrender? What miracle do you believe is too far gone? 


    In this episode, we chat about:

    • Kylie’s miracle story and healing 
    • How we can trust God and lean in when we don’t understand the full story
    • How to parent the pain endured with adoption
    • How to love our kids unconditionally 


    Don’t forget to share the Summer of Stories with your friends - so that they can also be reminded that: God is good. You are not alone. And He is with you during life’s hardest moments.


    Chapters

    00:00

    Introduction and Catching Up

    03:35

    Adoption and Navigating Challenges

    06:45

    Parenting and Unconditional Love

    09:40

    Experiencing a Modern-Day Miracle

    28:13

    Asking for Healing

    30:14

    Miraculous Healing

    35:23

    Confirmation of Healing

    39:26

    Orphan Prevention and Untold

    42:19

    Lessons Learned as a Parent


    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Pardon the Mess is part of The Christian Parenting Podcast Network. As a donor funded ministry, we rely on generous supporters like you to keep this show going. If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving a gift today. Become a Christian Parenting Legacy Builder


    Resources from today’s show:

    Kylie’s Instagram

    Kylie’s blog

    Untold - Nonprofit Kylie supports

    Father’s House - Bible study by Rachel



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    47m - Jun 27, 2024
  • One unplanned pregnancy and the God-sized story that followed with Amy Ford - Story 3

    Welcome to Week 3 of our Summer of Stories series! For the next 10 weeks, you will hear one powerful story after another. We are featuring 10 stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments.


    I need everyone to take a massive deep breath before listening. And listen to the entire episode, not just the first few minutes. This is not a political episode. This is a story of one incredible mom, Amy Ford, that chose to keep her baby boy after an unplanned pregnancy and the God-sized story that followed. 


    My favorite part is when she shares about her love for the women that walk with the shame of abortion. She is for all women and all stories. And she walks closely with women who have endured every part of the unplanned pregnancy journey. 


    I am praying deeply that this story reaches an untold number of women and heals their hearts in a special way. And that we may join together and support women with unplanned pregnancies in the way God would. That we would love them deeply. 


    Don't forget to share this episode with women in your community that need encouragement and healing around unplanned pregnancies.


    In this episode we chat about: 

    • Amy’s unplanned pregnancy 
    • Amy’s encouragement for those who live with shame of abortion
    • How to create a safe and supportive church environment with unplanned pregnancies
    • How to turn towards God in some of life’s biggest mistakes or struggles


    Chapters

    00:00

    Introduction and Amy's Family

    03:34

    The Love Box and Volunteer Opportunities

    06:08

    The Rejection from a Pastor and the Healing Journey

    09:21

    The Impact of Amy's Story on Her Son

    14:35

    Creating a Safe and Supportive Church Environment

    19:28

    Healing and Hope After Abortion

    22:26

    Creating Safe Spaces in Churches for Unexpected Pregnancies

    26:34

    Taking Small Steps of Obedience

    29:15

    Celebrating Women Who Turn Towards God


    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Become a Christian Parenting donor


    Resources from today’s show:

    Amy Ford

    Embrace Grace

    A Bump In Life

    Love Box

    Support After Abortion




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    39m - Jun 20, 2024
  • My journey as a widow with Rachel Faulkner Brown - Story 2

    For our Summer of Stories, I got the pleasure of interviewing a dear friend Rachel Faulkner Brown about her incredibly hard and beautiful life. In the first half of this episode, we talk about her journey with losing two husbands and walking that grief journey twice. She shares so much wisdom for other widows as well as practical tips for all of us enduring life’s toughest pain.


    In the second half of our chat, Rachel bravely shares about their family’s most recent struggle - an eating disorder that quickly took a grip on her daughter. She provides invaluable insight and practical advice from the deeply painful journey they have walked.


    My favorite part of the interview is when she shares honestly about the shame we can feel as mothers. As she watched her daughter walk through the hardest season of her life - she was also faced with a choice to hold onto that control or release her to God. We all have these moments in parenting and we can learn so much from Rachel’s incredible faith journey.


    I’m so thrilled for you to get to know Rachel. She is a dear friend and a woman that has experienced God’s goodness throughout some of the deepest pain in her life. You will be inspired by her calling to pass on the love of God and hope to others’ in their darkest days.


    In this episode, we chat about:

    • How to practically move forward when you lose your spouse
    • How to wrestle with God when horribly hard things happen
    • How to lean into God when life is upside down
    • How to love our kids when it’s hard and you must release control
    • How to parent a child with an eating disorder


    Chapters

    00:00

    Introduction and Background

    10:46

    The Importance of Honesty and Community

    30:28

    The Need for Aggressive Treatment

    39:07

    The Healing Journey and Future Hope

    48:17

    Prayer and Encouragement for Mothers


    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Resources from today’s show:


    Never Alone Widows 


    Father's House Bible Study


    There is More podcast 


    Podcast with Rachel’s daughter about her eating disorder - Part 1


    Podcast with Rachel’s daughter about her eating disorder - Part 1


    Reverend Joanne Moody


    St. Teresa of Avila Quote


    Healing prayer - resource 1


    Healing prayer - resource 2



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    51m - Jun 13, 2024
  • Grieving the loss of a child with Joy Phenix - Story 1

    Welcome to week 1 of our Summer of Stories series! For the next 10 weeks, you will hear one powerful story after another. We are featuring 10 stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments.


    Today’s guest is my dear friend, Joy Phenix, who bravely shares her journey of losing her amazing son. Her story of loss and indescribable grief is so very hard to hear but oddly peaceful and sacred. 


    My favorite part is when she encourages us to be a student of others’ grief journey. Every single person grieves at different times and in different ways. We cannot judge our friends or family members on that journey. This takes patience and grace and understanding. 


    This episode is for anyone walking in grief - not just the loss of a child. All of us have seasons of tragedy and unthinkable hard times. We want to know how to trust God again and how to move forward in the midst of the pain. Joy will touch your heart in a profound way. I am deeply thankful for her willingness to share her story to help others. 


    In this episode we chat about: 

    • How to endure the indescribable journey of losing a child
    • How we can help and support friends in their grief 
    • How to remember each person grieves differently and at unique times
    • How to normalize talking about grief through the process 


    00:00

    Introduction and Catching Up

    09:16

    The Power of Community in Times of Loss

    15:30

    Finding Hope and Healing Through Faith

    28:25

    Cherishing Memories and Finding Healing

    34:38

    Vulnerability and Trust in Difficult Times


    Enjoy!


    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Resources from today’s show:

    Josh’s Celebration Service

    Joy’s Instagram

    Body Keeps The Score



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com


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    47m - Jun 6, 2024
  • How to utilize (not avoid) conflict in your marriage with Michael Jr. and Ebony Wright

    Comedian Michael Jr went from living in his car to one of the most influential and talented comedians in the country. In fact, he used to open the show for Jerry Seinfeld and went on to headline his own shows. He is now sharing the stage with his wife, Ebony, as they focus on strengthening marriages across the country.


    This engaging couple shares many great pieces of wisdom and insight during our episode, but I really enjoyed how they speak about conflict. It’s so easy to avoid conflict at all costs. They encourage us to utilize conflict for the greatness of marriage 


    My favorite part (or least favorite) was when Michael Jr. asked me to share honestly about a recent disagreement I had with Ron. He went through the list of the fruit of the Spirit to see how I was handling a specific situation. And I bombed his test. It was embarrassing, but really challenged me on how I handle conflict. I love their hearts for marriage. They have a passion to remind couples that marriage is GOOD and it does work.


    In this episode, we discuss:

    • How easy it is to drift in marriage when kids are in the home
    • How to keep your marriage a priority and intentionally connect
    • How to utilize conflict instead of avoiding it


    Chapters

    00:00

    Introduction and Family Background

    04:04

    Letting Go and Trusting God with Our Children

    08:54

    Faith as a Consistent and Visible Part of Family Life

    23:53

    Merging Talents to Help Couples Find Joy in Marriage

    29:19

    Revealing Areas of Freedom Through Conflict


    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Resources from today’s show:

    Funny How Marriage Works

    Assessment for your conflict resolution 

    Emotions Wheel

    Funny How Marriage Works Tour



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com


    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    39m - May 30, 2024
  • How to gather neighbors and love people well with Sarah Harmeyer

    Happy almost Summer!! I am delighted to share the story of Sarah Harmeyer and her love for gathering neighbors. You will be so fascinated by her story of creating a table and setting out to have people over. Over time, she hosted thousands of people just one night at a time. She absolutely inspired me to get back out there and invite folks to my home. 


    You will be inspired and motivated and so very touched how God used Sarah’s life to start a movement called “Neighbor’s Table.” He took a nudge in her heart and kept expanding it across the country.


    My favorite part was at the end when we talked about her current living situation with her aging father. She is so tender and so gracious with his walk with Alzheimers. I pray that I handle my own parents with such care and compassion one day.


    In this episode we chat about: 

    • How a simple dinner party created a movement
    • Why your neighbors need community 
    • What an invitation can do for an individual
    • How we can preach less and simply love more
    • How to care for aging parents with compassion


    Chapters00:00

    Introduction and Catching Up

    10:01

    Stories of Love and Connection Around the Table

    22:59

    Building Relationships with New Neighbors and Introducing Sarah's Dad

    27:02

    Caring for Aging Parents with Love and Compassion

    30:53

    Closing Remarks and Action Items



    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Resources from today’s show:


    Sarah’s Instagram


    Neighbor’s Table


    Invite Sarah to Speak


    Table Talk Questions - source Close To My Heart


    Kindness Diaries with Leon


    Leon Logothetis


    God’s Holy Spirit in Me kid’s devotional




    Our Sponsors:
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    35m - May 23, 2024
  • BONUS: Marked by Mission

    “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” —Matthew 28:19–20

     

    We’ve spent this school year praying for our kids to be marked by the things of God. We’ve prayed that they live with integrity, confidence, generosity, endurance, and much more. But these are nothing more than admirable qualities if they aren’t used for God’s kingdom purposes.

     

    Before Jesus ascended to heaven, he gave us our mission. He told us to go and make disciples, sharing the story of his grace and love.

     

    The Great Commission is our central mission. The same is true for our kids.

     

    We’re God’s Plan A for spreading the gospel. There’s no backup plan, there’s no contingency, and there’s nobody else to tag in for our spot.

     

    But it all starts at home. It happens in the seemingly insignificant moments of reading Bible stories to our toddlers and the really hard places of pointing them to Jesus on the heels of their biggest mistakes and greatest obstacles.

     

    Please let us never underestimate the significance of our jobs as moms and dads, discipling our kids to share the gospel to the next generation.

     

    Let’s wrap up this school year by praying that our kids will be marked by the mission of Jesus, doing it with truth, discipline, purity, and every other characteristic of God we’ve prayed over them this year.

     

    Lord, thank you for the gift of my children and the privilege of praying over them this school year. Please mark their lives with a determination to fulfill the mission you created for them before they were ever born. Give [name] the wisdom to pursue you every day and a spirit of urgency in following your plans for their life. 


    God’s word speaks: 1 Peter 2:9; Mark 16:15; 1 Peter 3:15; Ecclesiastes 12:13–14




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    14m - May 20, 2024
  • Does my child need a therapist? Navigating anxiety with our kids with Dr. Cassie Reid

    When our children hurt (emotionally or physically), we simply hurt. One of the hardest jobs as a parent is to discern when to step in and when to let them live through hard seasons. I am so thrilled to introduce you to my very own therapist, Dr. Cassie Reid. 


    Cassie has counseled me and my own children through many seasons. It’s taken me years to find a good fit and I am beyond thankful for her wisdom and direction for our family. It is not always clear if our kids are just being kids - or if they are really struggling internally. 


    Listen in as Cassie and I chat about the challenges that come our way as parents. She shares many practical recommendations for us parents. 


    My favorite part is when she talks about the expectations we have for our kids. She challenges us to look inward and really work on ourselves and our own healing journey. She shares how our unrealistic expectations can start to produce extra pressure and anxiety and how to look out for that scenario in our homes. 


    In this episode we chat about: 

    • When to see a therapist or counselor
    • Why counseling is so important for families 
    • Two pieces of advice for parents that she wishes we all knew


    Chapters:

    00:00

    Introduction and Personal Connection

    01:36

    Dr. Cassie Reed's Background and Passion

    08:35

    Recognizing the Need for Professional Help

    10:06

    Finding Affordable Therapy Options

    12:55

    The Impact of Parental Anxiety on Children

    14:36

    Setting Boundaries and Recognizing Age-Appropriate Behavior

    22:26

    Setting Boundaries and Creating Space for Children

    23:49

    Managing Expectations and Apologizing to Children

    26:19

    The Impact of Technology on Children's Mental Health

    27:10

    Navigating Issues of Gender and Sexual Preferences as Christian Parents

    29:04

    Dr. Cassie Reid's Work in Spiritual Abuse Prevention and Healing


    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Resources from today’s show:


    CassieReid.com


    Cassie’s Instagram


    Church Rehab by Dr. Cassie Reid


    Come Home


    God’s Holy Spirit in Me kid’s devotional


    My Daddy’s Hero



    Our Sponsors:
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    44m - May 16, 2024
  • BONUS: Marked by Remembering

    “Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us.’” —1 Samuel 7:12

    The Israelites were in desperate need of a victory against the Philistines. Just as they were convincing themselves it was a lost cause, Samuel cried out to God and received an answer in the form of deafening thunder that scared away the enemy and secured an Israelite victory.

    Orthodox battle move? No. God protecting his people? Absolutely.

    No sooner than they finished their victory lap, Samuel stopped everyone in their tracks to make a critical point. He grabbed a stone as a memorial and named it Ebenezer, translated as “the Lord has helped us to this point.”

    Samuel knew their battle win was significant from a tactical perspective, but he also knew the more significant win was the reminder that God had protected them in the past and he’d just done it again.

    Our kids need the same reminder today that Samuel gave way back then: The God who has taken care of us up to this point will do it again. He is faithful and trustworthy. 

    What are the Ebenezers in your family? Where do you need to start laying down stones as reminders to your family that God’s faithfulness in the past shows he’s trustworthy for the future?

     

    Lord, remind us to always pass down the stories of your faithfulness. Mark [name] with a good memory of your provision, giving them confidence to trust your heart when they can’t see your hand. Help us to celebrate the places where you’ve given us victory, making a lasting memorial of your faithfulness for generations to come.

     

    God’s word speaks: Deuteronomy 7:9; 2 Thessalonians 3:3; Lamentations 3:22–23; Psalm 86:15




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    8m - May 13, 2024
  • When you want more for your life, but feel stuck with Farrell Mason

    If you are a parent, you know the feeling of just “making it through” each day. So often, we want more for our lives. However, we feel stuck and are not sure how to do that when there are children depending on us every day.


    My guest this week, Farrell Mason, shares about a time when she felt that her life was running her ragged. She decided to do something about how she lived her one precious life. She took action to create a more soulful life in the midst of raising six kids. Farrell Mason is a minister, a mom, a wife and a beautiful writer. She has a passion for standing with others in the midst of their hardest moments in life.  


    My favorite part is towards the end when Farrell offers very practical suggestions on how to love others well. She is so passionate about caring for yourself as a mom, but also leaning into simple ways we can care for our neighbors. You won’t feel guilt or more pressure to perform - you will feel seen and inspired to lean into more for your life.


    In this episode we chat about: 

    • How to live this one life well
    • How to push against busy and impossibly full schedules
    • How to pay attention to what your soul craves 
    • How to help your hurting friends 



    Enjoy!


    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Resources from today’s show:

    Farrell’s Site - Bread and Honey

    Farrell’s new book: Soulfull


    Come Home



    Chapters:


    00:00

    Introduction and Connection

    09:50

    Living a Full Life and the Importance of Time

    16:22

    Commitment to Intentional Living

    32:21

    Finding Hope in Difficult Times




    Our Sponsors:
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    39m - May 9, 2024
  • BONUS: Marked by Humility

    “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” —Philippians 2:3–4

     

    We’re raising kids in a culture that basks in recognition and praise, making it difficult to strike the balance of teaching our kids to be confident in their God-given identity while also exuding a humble spirit. Humility is not ignoring their giftings, but it’s teaching them to be willing to use them in a way that draws attention to the Giver of the gift rather than the gift itself. Humility is also not a call to raise silent or passive kids. Rather, it’s teaching them a quiet and meek spirit before God.

     

    Jesus is the perfect model of humility. He came to earth in the form of a baby and lived a blameless life so he could die on the cross and give us new life. He more than deserved recognition and acknowledgment for his heavenly status, yet he chose to demonstrate humility because of his commitment to the Father’s will and the larger gospel story. He was righteously indignant when necessary but gentle and loving in leading his flock.

     

    We’re praying this week for our kids to humbly serve others, admitting their mistakes, and recognizing that all praise and glory belongs to the Lord as the giver of all good gifts (James 1:17). Let’s also ask the Lord to guide them in being passionate and outspoken when appropriate, but also disciplined enough to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19).

     

    Lord, you’re the perfect model of living humbly while making a kingdom impact on those around you. Give [name] a spirit of humility and the desire to bring you glory, even when it comes with no acknowledgment. Help them to honor others above themselves and to live in your confidence so they don’t need praise or acceptance from others.

     

    God’s word speaks: Ephesians 4:2; Romans 12:16; James 4:10; Colossians 3:12



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    10m - May 6, 2024
  • Confession Time: 3 Parenting Regrets with Kari Kampakis

    Do you have regrets as a parent? We all do! I have a long list myself. I thought it would be encouraging and super helpful for me to share just a few of my own regrets in the last 17 years of parenting. I asked Kari Kampakis to share her own regrets in this podcast episode. 


    I have always loved Kari’s relatable and authenticity as a writer, podcaster and speaker. When I read her encouragement for moms - I feel like she has read my mind. She has a real gift for walking with moms so that we feel so seen. When you encounter Kari, you feel uplifted and equipped but never condemned or shamed. 


    My favorite part is when she shares about how to love strong-willed children well. She shares a powerful story of how her husband approached her strong-willed daughter vs her approach. There’s such humility that pours from Kari when she speaks. It gives us all the permission to be honest about our mistakes. And to have the courage to pivot as we discover a better way. 


    In this episode we chat about: 

    • Raising strong-willed kids
    • How to decide if you should have another child
    • How to make health a priority in your home from the start


    00:00

    Introduction and Getting to Know Each Other

    06:21

    Parenting the Heart vs. Focusing on Behavior

    13:05

    Finding Joy in Every Season of Parenthood

    29:39

    Trusting God to Fill in the Gaps in Parenting

    35:56

    Delaying Cell Phone Use and Monitoring Social Media


    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Resources from today’s show:

    KariKampakis.com

    Kari’s book: Love Her Well

    Kari’s book: More Than a Mom




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    43m - May 2, 2024
  • BONUS: Marked by Endurance

    “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” —1 Corinthians 9:24

     

    The Christian life is more like a marathon than a sprint, requiring significant endurance if we’re going to make it through the obstacles we face along the way. From the day we accept Christ until we see him face-to-face, we’re continually building up endurance so we can best run the race set out for us.

     

    Having endurance in the context of our faith means we’re always in training mode, getting ready for the hard places of discouragement and suffering that will challenge our readiness for the race. We build up our endurance practically by staying true to the basics: things like spending daily time with God, finding Christian community, memorizing Scripture, and seeking discipleship.

     

    What a GIFT to have author and speaker (and track coach) Dorina Gilmore-Young on with us chatting about endurance. I absolutely loved her perspective as a widow, mom and coach - how endurance is something God produces in our kids through trials. We can pray for that process - that they may endure life’s hardships with Jesus as their strength.

     

    Let’s challenge our kids to run well so they will hear Jesus say at the finish line, “Well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23).

     

    Lord, before you created even one of us, you set us apart for your purposes. Give [name] the endurance to run the race you have planned for their life. Help them to stay the course when they run up against obstacles along the way, reminding them of the importance of putting in the daily work so they are prepared for anything they face.


    God’s word speaks: Philippians 3:14; Romans 5:3–4; 2 Timothy 4:7; Hebrews 10:36



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    12m - Apr 29, 2024
  • Is private school better than public school? With Terry Ann Kelly

    Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp.


    Are you struggling with where your child should go to school? This common fear and worry can grip us all. We want so desperately to make the right choice for each of our kids. It can also be confusing when your friends all have different opinions on the matter or maybe your spouse is in disagreement with your plan. 


    You will feel extremely encouraged by today’s episode with Terry Ann Kelly. She has practical advice for these decisions as well as grounding truths to calm our hearts. She is a grandmother, wife and mom and has many years of experience with schools. As the founder of Students Standing Strong, she has seen first hand that God can do anything with any child and any school.


    My favorite part is the story she shares about her son at the end. It is so refreshing to hear a very personal example of how God can use each of our kids in the most powerful ways at school every day. 


    In this episode we chat about: 

    • How to seek God in tough school decisions
    • How to bring your faith into the public school setting
    • How to call your kiddos higher in loving their classmates


    Enjoy!


    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Resources from today’s show:

    Students Standing Strong

    Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide


    Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp.





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    39m - Apr 25, 2024
  • BONUS: Marked by our Strength

    “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” —1 Peter 4:10

     

    As we wrap up the greatest commandment, we’re focused on how to love God with all of our strength. Contrary to how it sounds, loving God with all of our strength is not a reference to our physical strength. The Hebrew word used for strength in the context of the greatest commandment is me’od, which is translated as “much” or “very.”

    Loving God with all of our strength is loving God with our “much-ness.” It’s using our possessions, our time, our talents, our parenting, our volunteering—everything we’ve got—to love God and live for him. Said differently, wherever the Lord has planted you and with whatever resources he’s provided, use all your strength to love him smack-dab in the middle of it all.

    As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their strength, we’re praying that they use all of their party-planning skills, math aptitude, athleticism, and social media acumen for God’s greatest glory. It’s taking the seemingly small places in their life and asking the Lord to use it in every possible way for his bigger purposes.

    Spend time this week asking the Lord to use your kids’ gifts to bring God glory. Pray that he uses them for his greater purposes right where he has them, teaching them to love the Lord with all of their much-ness and strength.

    Lord, thank you for all the gifts and talents you’ve given our family. I pray that you will guide my children to use these gifts generously for your glory. With all of the much-ness you’ve given [name], remind them to serve those around them as they learn to love you with all of their strength. 

     

    God’s word speaks: Hebrews 13:16; Proverbs 11:24–25; Deuteronomy 16:17; Colossians 3:23



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    14m - Apr 22, 2024
  • How can our kids keep their faith in college? with Campbell Stites

    Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp.


    It’s not often you get to interview a college kid about growing up as a Christian. The Stites are family friends of ours and a family we admire and respect so very much. I am often asking them for advice since they are ahead of the game by a few years. 


    Today’s episode is a chat with their son, Campbell, who is studying political science at Texas A&M University. He has always been a leader and I have absolutely loved watching God grow his faith during his first year in college. He’s making some wise choices that we can all learn from.


    My favorite part of the episode is when he encourages parents to get interested in their child's interests. He shares about how his mom invested in his interests and helped foster a super close mom/son relationship. 


    In this episode we discuss:

    • How to make faith a priority in college
    • The power of friends and your circle
    • How to let boys have freedom vs controlling them
    • The gift of allowing your teens to fail


    Connect with Pardon The Mess:

    Christian Parenting

    Pardon The Mess 

    Courtney DeFeo


    Resources from today’s show:


    Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide


    Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com


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    24m - Apr 18, 2024
  • BONUS: Marked by our Mind

    “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” —2 Corinthians 10:5

     

    As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their minds, we have to consider that our mind is made up of our thoughts. So, in order to love God with all of our minds, we have to think about what fills our minds and how it impacts the way we love God.

    Our thoughts are significant because they have the potential to grow our love for God or distract and pull us away from a relationship with him and his great plans for our life. The Enemy loves to get a hold of our thoughts and make us question God’s goodness and protection in our life.

    For our kids to love God with all of their minds, we’re praying that they “take captive” all the thoughts that are destructive, not instructive. This process of taking captive their thoughts is accomplished by knowing God’s word so that their thoughts are weighed against the truth of Scripture. 

    It also comes by considering what’s going into their minds and how that’s fueling (or lessening) their love for God. It’s praying that they evaluate the movies they watch, the music they listen to, and the voices they allow to speak into their lives. 

    Since our kids’ thoughts have the greatest impact on loving God with all of their minds, let’s take time to pray over their thoughts and ask God to help them take each one captive. 

    Lord, teach us to love you in all of the different areas of our life, including our minds. If our minds are made up of our thoughts, teach us to take captive our thoughts and bring them in line with your truth. Be with [name], helping them to guard what they allow into their minds so that it always honors you.


    God’s word speaks: Isaiah 26:3; Jeremiah 33:3; Colossians 3:2–3; 1 Peter 1:13





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    13m - Apr 15, 2024
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Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo
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