- Week 1: Fully committed to God
Today we are kicking off this year's series that follows Christian Parenting's brand new prayer journal. Inspired by the book of James, Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation is a 38-week prayer journal designed to help you pray intentionally for your children all school year long.
Each week includes a short devotional, Scripture passage, guided prayer, and space to write your own prayers as you ask God to help your kids develop a faith that stays strong through every season. Invest in your child's spiritual future one prayer at a time, and join thousands of parents & grandparents who are praying boldly for the next generation to know, love, and follow Jesus!
In week one, we're starting in James 1:1: "James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings."
Let's pray that our kids:
- Fully understand that God's grace cannot be earned, only received as a free gift through Jesus's work on the cross.
- Live in such a way that their actions reflect a deep, active faith in him.
- Commit their whole lives to God's will, walking in obedience wherever he leads.
If you'd like to follow along you can get your printed copy here, and be sure to join us here on the podcast every Monday through the end of May for guided prayer and reflection that follows the journal!
Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy11m - Sep 14, 2026 - Cultivating a joyful home
What makes a home joyful?
It’s probably not a spotless house, perfectly behaved children, or a mom who never gets overwhelmed. In this episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal talks about what it looks like to cultivate a home marked by joy.
Scarlet shares a personal story about her grandmother, Grandma Marlene, and her mom, and the “irrational exuberance” they brought into everyday life. Their ability to delight in ordinary things taught Scarlet something about the kind of atmosphere she wants to cultivate in her own home.
But biblical joy isn't something we manufacture by trying harder to be happy. The joy of the Lord is our strength. Our joy ultimately comes from knowing who God is and what He has done for us in Christ.
Scarlet talks about the difference between creating a happy home and cultivating a joyful one—and offers practical ways moms can make room for delight, celebration, laughter, repentance, and grace in their families.
Thank you, Shari Wilson, for joining us on this week’s Messy Mom Moment, to share your wisdom about cultivating a joyful home!
Scripture mentioned:
Nehemiah 8:1–12
Nehemiah 8:10
Galatians 5:22–23
Connect with Scarlet
If this episode encouraged you, would you take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who's trying to faithfully point her kids to Jesus. You can connect with Scarlet on Instagram and find her books, Bible studies, and more encouragement at scarlethiltibidal.com.
Resources:
Get your copy of our latest prayer journal and join me each Monday (beginning September 14th) to listen to guided prayer and reflection that follows the journal: Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy25m - Sep 10, 2026 - I don’t know how to fight the lies I believe
Motherhood can make us believe some pretty convincing lies.
I’m messing up my kids.
Everyone else is doing this better than I am.
If my child is struggling, I must be failing.
I need to be a better mom before I can feel okay about myself.
In this episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal brings the listeners in, talking about the specific lies you might easily believe about yourself, your children, and your motherhood—and what happens when we start answering those lies with the truth of God’s Word.
Rather than trying to become moms who never struggle with fear, comparison, guilt, or insecurity, we can learn to recognize the lies we're believing and bring them into the light of Scripture. The gospel reminds us that our identity isn't determined by how well we parent, how our kids behave, or how we compare to the mom next to us. Our hope is in Jesus, who has already done what we could never do for ourselves.
Scarlet also shares practical ways to fight these mental battles with biblical truth, remembering that God's grace meets us right in the middle of our messy motherhood.
Thank you, listeners, for being part of this week’s “Messy Mom Moment” by sharing (via Scarlet’s Instagram question) the lies you battle.
Scripture Focus
- Ephesians 2:8-9
- 1 Corinthians 3:6-7
- Romans 8:1
- Galatians 6
- Hebrews 12
Connect with Scarlet
If this episode encouraged you, would you take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who's trying to faithfully point her kids to Jesus. You can connect with Scarlet on Instagram and find her books, Bible studies, and more encouragement at scarlethiltibidal.com.
Resources:
Get your copy of our latest prayer journal and join me each Monday (beginning September 14th) to listen to guided prayer and reflection that follows the journal: Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy31m - Sep 3, 2026 - Can Moms Love Like Jesus and Still Have Boundaries?
In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal (and her sister, Aubrey Fuhrman) talk about the tension many moms feel between loving sacrificially and setting healthy boundaries. Through an honest conversation about motherhood, family, and faith, they explore how boundaries are not about keeping people out, they are about creating space to love others well.
Scarlet and Aubrey discuss the importance of inviting Jesus into our decisions, especially when navigating seasons of change like new motherhood. Aubrey shares her experience of setting boundaries around visits after having a baby and how those boundaries actually helped her love others more intentionally.
This conversation offers encouragement for moms who struggle with guilt when saying no, reminding us that biblical love is not measured by constant availability, but by faithfulness to what God has called us to in each season.
In This Episode
- Boundaries are not about loving people less; they are about loving people wisely.
- Healthy boundaries create room to be present, joyful, and intentional with the people God has entrusted to us.
- Following Jesus means bringing Him into our decisions instead of simply reacting to guilt, expectations, or pressure.
- Sacrificial love does not mean saying yes to everything or neglecting the responsibilities God has given us.
- Prayer and Scripture help us discern when to open our hands and when to create wise limits.
Scripture Focus
- Mark 1:35–38
- Matthew 22:37–39
Connect with Scarlet
If this episode encouraged you, would you take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who's trying to faithfully point her kids to Jesus. You can connect with Scarlet on Instagram and find more resources, Bible studies, and encouragement at scarlethiltibidal.com.
Resources:
Get your copy of our latest prayer journal and join me each Monday (beginning September 14th) to listen to guided prayer and reflection that follows the journal: Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy38m - Aug 27, 2026 - I Don’t Want to Do Motherhood Alone
Motherhood is beautiful, but it can also feel isolating. In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares why moms need gospel-centered community and how God often works through the people He places around us. Through personal stories of seasons when she pulled away from others in pain and waited until she felt “bright and shiny” again before showing up, Scarlet explores the freedom that comes from being known, loved, and supported in the middle of the mess.
Drawing from Psalm 107 and the call to “tell of the Lord’s goodness,” Scarlet encourages moms to share their stories of God’s faithfulness, not because our stories are perfect, but because they point to a perfect Savior. She offers practical encouragement for finding community through the local church, small groups, and intentional relationships that remind us we were never meant to do motherhood alone.
Special thanks to Lacey Garner, who came and shared a so-encouraging story of God being actively involved in her life at a family vacation in an Air B&B!
In This Episode:
- Why gospel community is essential in motherhood
- How isolation keeps moms from experiencing God’s provision through others
- Sharing our stories of God’s faithfulness, even when life is messy
- Practical steps for finding and nurturing gospel-centered friendships
- The role of the local church and small groups in supporting moms
- Living out the gospel in everyday conversations
Key Scripture
- Psalm 107:1-9
- Proverbs 3:5-6
Connect with Scarlet
If this episode encouraged you, would you take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who's trying to faithfully point her kids to Jesus?
You can connect with Scarlet on Instagram and find more resources, Bible studies, and encouragement at scarlethiltibidal.com.
Resources:
Get your copy of our latest prayer journal: Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation and join me each Monday (beginning September 14th) to listen to guided prayer and reflection that follows the journal!
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy28m - Aug 20, 2026 - I Worry That My Anxiety is Affecting My Kids
What if my anxiety is affecting my kids?
It’s a question many moms quietly ask themselves. In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares a personal story from her own motherhood journey and the fear that she might pass her anxiety on to her children.
Scarlet talks about a moment when she realized that her biggest struggle wasn’t just anxiety itself, it was what she believed about God. When we don’t trust that God is good, our fears can take over. But when we understand the character of our loving Father, we can begin to release the impossible burden of trying to control every outcome for our kids.
Through Scripture, honest reflection, and personal experience, Scarlet encourages moms that the goal isn’t to become a fearless mom, it’s to become a mom who knows where to take her fears, because our children don’t need perfect, anxiety-free moms. They need moms who point them to the perfect love and faithfulness of Jesus, even when they feel weak.
In This Episode:
- The story behind Scarlet’s fear that getting closer to God might lead to something terrible happening to her children
- How anxiety can distort our view of God’s character
- Why the root of anxiety is often a struggle to trust God’s goodness
- The guilt moms feel when they worry their anxiety is affecting their kids
- How honesty about our struggles can actually help our children see faith lived out
- Why we don’t have to become fearless moms, we can become moms who trust God with our fears
Key Scriptures:
Matthew 6:25–26 — Jesus reminds us that our heavenly Father cares for His children.
Matthew 7:11 — If earthly parents know how to give good gifts, how much more can we trust our good Father?
Resources:
Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy27m - Aug 13, 2026 - I Don’t Know How to Help My Kids Love Church
If you've ever wrestled a toddler through the church doors, bribed your kids with donuts to make it through the service, or wondered if anything they're hearing is actually sticking—you are not alone.
In this episode, Scarlet sits down with her pastor-husband, Brandon Hiltibidal, for an honest conversation about one of the biggest questions Christian parents ask: How can we help our kids love the church?
The answer isn't found in creating the perfect kids' ministry or making church endlessly entertaining. More often, it begins with the way we, as parents, view and love Christ's bride.
Listen in to hear practical, gospel-centered ways to cultivate a love for the local church in your family while helping your kids understand that church is much more than a weekly event.
In This Episode:
- Why your attitude toward church shapes your children's view more than you realize.
- The difference between raising church attenders and raising kids who love God's people.
- Why church should feel like family, not just another Sunday activity.
- How to help your children build meaningful relationships within the church.
- How to talk with your kids when they notice hypocrisy, conflict, or failures in church leaders.
- Why the gospel gives us hope even when people in the church disappoint us.
- Personal stories of how the church cared for the Hiltibidal family during seasons of adoption, hardship, and celebration.
Scripture Focus
- Acts 2
- Hebrews 10:24–25
If this episode encouraged you, would you take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who's trying to faithfully point her kids to Jesus?
You can connect with Scarlet on Instagram and find more resources, Bible studies, and encouragement at scarlethiltibidal.com.
Resources:
Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy23m - Aug 6, 2026 - I Feel Like I’m Losing Myself in Motherhood
Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered, Who even am I anymore?
Motherhood is beautiful, sacred, and deeply meaningful, but it can also feel all-consuming. Somewhere between diaper changes, school pickups, endless laundry, and caring for everyone else, it's easy to lose sight of who you are.
In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares honestly about what it feels like to lose yourself in motherhood and why the answer isn't finding your "old self" again, but anchoring your identity in Jesus. Through personal stories, biblical encouragement, and practical rhythms, you'll be reminded that your worth isn't found in your productivity, your parenting, or your season of life. It's found in Jesus..
If you've been feeling unseen, overwhelmed, or like you've disappeared beneath the title of "Mom," this conversation is for you.
Special thanks to Katie Hinson, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!
If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a positive review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.
In this episode:
- Why so many moms feel like they've lost themselves
- The difference between your role as a mom and your identity in Christ
- The importance of friendship and Christian community
Key Scripture
- Colossians 3:1-4
- Ephesians 2:10
Resources:
You are Not Forgotten by Christine Hoover
Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Join the Pardon the Mess community by subscribing and leaving a review!
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy29m - Jul 30, 2026 - Homeschool, Public, or Private...How Do I Choose?
How do you know you're making the right decision for your kids?
Whether you're homeschooling, choosing private school, considering public school, or simply wondering if you're getting this whole parenting thing right, the pressure can feel overwhelming. In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal reminds us that while parenting comes with countless decisions, our greatest calling isn't to engineer the perfect childhood—it's to faithfully point our children to Jesus.
Through biblical encouragement and practical wisdom, Scarlet shares how Scripture shapes our approach to discipleship at home, why prayer and wise counsel matter, and how resting in God's sovereignty frees us from the burden of believing everything depends on us.
In this episode, you'll hear:
- What the Bible says about discipling our children in everyday life.
- Why God's Word should be woven into the rhythms of your home.
- How to seek wisdom through prayer, Scripture, and godly counsel when making educational decisions.
- The freedom that comes from remembering you are called to point your children to Jesus—not save them.
- How trusting God's sovereignty brings peace in every parenting season.
Key Scriptures
- Proverbs 3:5–6
- Deuteronomy 6
Key Takeaways
- God's Word is meant to shape the everyday rhythms of family life.
- Parenting is about faithful discipleship, not perfect outcomes.
- Every family and every season is unique—seek God's wisdom rather than someone else's formula.
- Prayer and biblical wisdom should guide every major parenting decision.
- God is already at work in your child's life, and you can trust Him with what you cannot control.
Special thanks to Ever, Scarlet’s 15-year-old, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!
If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a positive review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Resources:
Cozy Earth (use code PARDONTHEMESS for up to 20% off! And if you get a Post-Purchase Survey, make sure to let them know you heard about Cozy Earth right here!)
Get your copy of Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation today!
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy34m - Jul 23, 2026 - Summer is Long…What Do I Do With My Kids?
Summer always seems to come with big expectations. We imagine memory-making adventures, endless family fun, and kids who magically never complain. But somewhere between snack requests, screen-time negotiations, and trying to keep everyone occupied, many of us end up wondering if we're doing enough.
In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares why the best summer isn't necessarily the busiest one. Instead, she explores how the gospel frees us from the pressure to create a "perfect" summer and invites us to faithfully enjoy the ordinary moments God has already given us.
You'll also hear from special guest Anna Van Dyke, who shares simple, practical rhythms that have helped her family cultivate faith, connection, and joy throughout the summer.
Whether you're staying home, traveling, or just trying to survive another hot afternoon with your kids, this episode will encourage you to embrace intentionality over perfection and remember that God is already at work in the everyday moments.
In This Episode
- Why summer can leave moms feeling overwhelmed
- How the gospel frees us from the pressure to create a "perfect" childhood
- Simple spiritual rhythms your family can build into everyday life
- Practical ideas for creating meaningful summer memories without overscheduling
- Finding joy in the ordinary instead of chasing extraordinary moments
Scripture Focus
- Colossians 3:17
- Luke 10:38-42
Special thanks to Anna Van Dyke who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!
If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a positive review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Resources:
Cozy Earth (use code PARDONTHEMESS for up to 20% off! And if you get a Post-Purchase Survey, make sure to let them know you heard about Cozy Earth right here!)
Get your copy of Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation today!
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy30m - Jul 16, 2026 - I Don't Know How to Help My Child Through Friendship Drama
Few things are harder than watching your child come home hurt by a friend. Whether they're feeling left out, navigating conflict, experiencing rejection, or struggling through friendship drama, many moms find themselves wondering: Should I step in? Should I stay out of it? How do I help without making it worse?
In this episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares personal stories, practical encouragement, and biblical wisdom for helping children navigate relational conflict in a way that reflects the heart of Jesus. Through the lens of Matthew 18, she'll explore how we can teach our kids to pursue reconciliation, extend forgiveness, and find their identity in Christ rather than in the approval of others.
If you've ever felt helpless watching your child struggle socially, this conversation will encourage you to trust God with their relationships while helping them develop the skills and character they'll need for a lifetime of healthy friendships.
In This Episode:
- Why friendship drama affects moms so deeply
- The difference between protecting your child and preparing them
- What Jesus teaches about conflict and reconciliation in Matthew 18
- How to help your child navigate hurt, rejection, and misunderstandings
- Teaching kids to pursue peace instead of gossip
- Helping children separate their identity from their friendships
- Practical ways to walk alongside your child without taking over
- How the gospel transforms the way we handle relational conflict
Scripture Referenced:
- Matthew 18:15
- Ephesians 4:31–32
Special thanks to Vanessa Dolberry who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!
If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a positive review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.
P.S. Scarlet also joined Steph on The Christian Parenting Podcast earlier this week for a great conversation on embracing the Gospel for real-life parenting messes! Listen here or watch here
Resources:
Get your copy of Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation today!
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy26m - Jul 9, 2026 - I Don’t Know How to Trust God’s Goodness After a Miscarriage
In this deeply personal episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares her own experiences with miscarriage and the difficult questions that often accompany loss. Through stories of grief, fear, and surrender, she reflects on the difference between questioning God's goodness and learning to trust His goodness even when circumstances don't make sense.
Whether you're walking through pregnancy loss yourself or supporting a mom friend who is, this conversation offers biblical encouragement, honest hope, and practical ways to care for those who are grieving. Together, we'll explore what it looks like to cling to God in heartbreak and find comfort in His unchanging character when life feels uncertain.
In this episode:
- Scarlet's personal experiences with miscarriage
- Wrestling with faith in seasons of loss
- Trusting God's goodness when life doesn't feel good
- Biblical encouragement for grieving moms
- Practical ways to support someone experiencing pregnancy loss
- Finding hope and healing in Christ amid unanswered questions
If you've ever wondered how to hold both grief and faith at the same time, this episode is for you!
Today's Scripture Focus:
Psalm 34:18, Romans 8:32, Lamentations 3:22-23, John 11:35
Special thanks to Scarlet’s little tiny infant baby sister (who is 32!) Aubrey Fuhrman, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!
If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a positive review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.
Resources:
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy39m - Jul 2, 2026 - A Bad Diagnosis & Letting Kids See Hard Things
How do you talk to your kids about cancer, suffering, terminal illness, or the possibility of losing someone they love?
Whether it's a grandparent's diagnosis, a chronic illness, a devastating loss, or another painful reality, there comes a moment when we realize we cannot protect our children from every hard thing this side of heaven.
In this episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares from a deeply personal place as she reflects on her mother's battle with stage-four cancer and the challenges of helping her own children navigate grief, uncertainty, and difficult questions. How much do we tell our kids? Should they see us cry? How do we help them process suffering when we're still processing it ourselves?
Together, we'll explore what Scripture teaches about suffering, why Christian hope is different from wishful thinking, and how parents can model faith in the middle of fear. Rather than shielding our children from every hardship, we have the opportunity to show them what it looks like to trust Jesus when life hurts.
This conversation is ultimately about more than cancer. It's about helping our children discover that God's presence is real, His promises are trustworthy, and His love remains steadfast even when life feels fragile.
Today's Scripture Focus:
2 Corinthians 4:16–18
"Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day..."
Special thanks to Jennifer Sieber, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment!
If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today.
Resources:
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy34m - Jun 25, 2026 - I Don't Know How to Help My Kids Feel at Home When Home Keeps Changing
How do we help our children navigate change when their hearts are breaking over what they're leaving behind?
In this week's episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares from a lifetime of moving, from her childhood years spent relocating across the country to the many ministry moves she's made as a wife and mom. She explores the unique challenges of helping children process transitions, say goodbye to people and places they love, and learn to trust God in unfamiliar seasons.
Drawing from personal stories of moving with young children, leaving beloved churches and communities, and helping her family build new lives in new places, Scarlet discusses the tension many parents feel: wanting their children to embrace what's ahead without minimizing the grief of what's being left behind.
But this episode isn't ultimately about moving.
It's about belonging.
It's about helping our children understand that while homes, schools, churches, friendships, and circumstances may change, God never does.
Through biblical examples like Abraham, Moses, Ruth, and the Israelites, Scarlet highlights a powerful theme woven throughout Scripture: God's people have always been travelers, strangers, and sojourners learning to trust Him in unfamiliar places. The Christian life has never been about finding perfect security in this world. It's about learning to anchor our hearts in the One who never changes.
In this episode, Scarlet discusses:
• How to help children grieve the people, places, and routines they love
• Why grief is not evidence that a move or transition was a mistake
• The tension of feeling both excitement and sadness during major life changes
• Biblical examples of faithful people who followed God into the unknown
• Why earthly homes, relationships, and comforts make poor ultimate foundations
• How transitions reveal where we are placing our security and identity
• Practical ways to help children build trust in God's faithfulness during uncertain seasons
• How to cultivate gratitude for God's gifts without clinging too tightly to them
Today's Scripture Focus: Hebrews 11:13–16
A special thank you to Caroline Downen who shared her own moving to Japan and back experience during the Messy Mom Moment!
If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need this reminder today.
00:00 Embracing Transitions: A Personal Journey
12:02 Navigating Grief and Change with Kids
17:50 Finding Home in a Changing World
Resources:
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy31m - Jun 18, 2026 - Loving Each of My Kids Well (When They All Need Something Different)
How do you love your children well when every one of them seems to need something completely different from you?
In this week's episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal explores one of the most common tensions in motherhood: the desire to make sure each child feels deeply loved, seen, and secure, even when their personalities, needs, struggles, and seasons of life look nothing alike.
Drawing from her own experience parenting four very different children, including sharing the adoption story of her daughter Joy, Scarlet reflects on the unique challenges and unexpected gifts that come with loving children individually rather than identically. From navigating a wide age gap between siblings to understanding different temperaments, emotional needs, and life experiences, she discusses the pressure many moms feel to keep everything equal, and why equal isn't always the same as loving well.
At the heart of this conversation is a beautiful gospel truth: God Himself does not interact with every one of His children in exactly the same way. Throughout Scripture, we see a God who knows people personally, pursues them individually, and meets them in the unique circumstances of their lives. He is not a generic Father offering generic love. He is a deeply personal God who sees, knows, and cares for each of His children completely.
This episode is also a reminder that our children's deepest security will never come from having perfectly balanced parents or perfectly equal circumstances. Their security comes from knowing they are fully known and fully loved by God. While we will inevitably fall short, the good news of the gospel is that our children do not need perfect parents. They need parents who consistently point them to the only perfect Father.
Today's Scripture Focus:
Psalm 139
A special thank you to Scarlet's 13-year-old daughter, Joy, for joining this week's Messy Mom Moment. If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need this reminder today.
00:00
Introduction and Episode Overview
19:17
The Beauty of Individual Love in Family Dynamics
21:15
Understanding God's Personal Love for Us
23:32
Biblical Examples of Tailored Love
25:42
Practical Steps for Unique Parenting
27:30
Closing Thoughts and Encouragement
Resources:
Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy28m - Jun 11, 2026 - I Keep Feeling Like I’m Failing My Kids
It’s officially Scarlet Hiltibidal’s first episode as the new host of Pardon the Mess, and she’s kicking things off with a conversation every mom needs to hear.
If you’ve ever laid in bed replaying your parenting failures, wondered if your bad moments are shaping your kids forever, or felt crushed under the pressure to “get motherhood right,” this episode is for you.
Scarlet shares honest stories from her own home, the parenting advice that radically changed her perspective as a young mom, and the freeing truth that the gospel was never about pretending we’re perfect parents. It’s about pointing our children to a perfect Savior.
She explores how our failures can actually become places where grace shines bright, why joy and peace in motherhood cannot be built on performance, and how repentance, humility, and dependence on Jesus create a healthier home than image management ever could.
In this episode, Scarlet talks about:
• Why motherhood often feels spiritually heavy and emotionally exhausting
• The difference between parenting for performance versus parenting from grace
• How our identity in Christ changes the way we respond to our failures
• The beauty of apologizing to our kids and modeling repentance
• Why children do not need flawless parents — they need parents who know Jesus
• How the Holy Spirit empowers us to live with joy, peace, and dependence instead of striving
• Practical ways to reset the tone of your home when everything feels chaotic
This episode is a reminder that your worst moments are not the truest thing about you. Jesus is still present in the mess, still forming your children, and still offering grace for today.
Whether you’re parenting toddlers, teenagers, or somewhere in between, this conversation will help you exhale, laugh a little, and remember what matters most.
Today's Scripture Focus: Romans 8:1-4
If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mom friend who needs some hope today.
Special thanks to Michelle Glass who shared a beautiful testimony for this week's Messy Mom Moment!
Resources:
Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Scarlet’s Facebook
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy32m - Jun 4, 2026 - Trailer
As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Pardon the Mess is a podcast for Christian moms who love Jesus, love their kids, and still feel behind on most days. Each week, host Scarlet takes one real parenting mess (morning meltdowns, discipline guilt, raising kind kids in a world that doesn't feel kind) and untangles it with honesty and grace, one small, faithful step at a time. No five-step systems. No longer to-do lists. Just clarity about what matters most and permission to let the rest go.
Pardon the Mess is part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be, visit www.ChristianParenting.org.
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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy1m - Jun 1, 2026 - Meet your new host, Scarlet Hiltibidal!
Well, it’s a bittersweet day for me. I am delighted to introduce you to your NEW HOST of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal. This is my last episode as your host, and I am feeling all the emotions. I am grateful and sad and feeling so much peace.
Thank you for letting me into your lives for a few years. I pray God encouraged you in your role as a Christian parent. A special thanks to Jill Jefferson, Steph Thurling, Jeannette Tapley and the entire team at Christian Parenting. I couldn’t have done it without you all.
Today, you will get to know Scarlet and her family. She has a beautiful heart for the Lord and the imperfect journey of parenting. She is passionate about the gospel and has a new twist on the Thursday episodes. And great news - the Monday prayer episodes will be returning after the summer!
Much love and gratitude,
Courtney DeFeo
00:00 Introduction and Family Dynamics
03:03 Scarlet's Unique Childhood and Background
06:00 Transition to Writing and Parenting
08:57 The Journey to Becoming a Writer
11:55 Joining Christian Parenting and Future Plans
16:15 Navigating Parenting Challenges with Grace
21:13 Embracing Imperfection in Parenting
25:00 Finding Hope Amidst Struggles
30:32 Preparing for the Future of Parenting Podcast
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Resources from today’s show:
Connect with Scarlet Hiltibidal
Connect with Courtney DeFeo
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy39m - May 28, 2026 - Week 38: Be sanctified - Jesus
Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2)
All the people we have talked about this year are heroes of faith. Whether they were named or unnamed, their stories hold significance in God’s word, which is always worthy of our attention! As much as we want our kids to take on the characteristics of the people in this great cloud of witnesses, our primary desire is that our kids become like Jesus, our rabbi, friend, perfect king, and our Savior.
We become more and more like Jesus as we spend more time with him. It’s the process of sanctification, or being made holy. We cannot be fully sanctified on this side of heaven, but the Holy Spirit does work within us as we surrender, obey, and return to him when we get it wrong. We are shaped to look more and more like Jesus.
Our kids will make mistakes, struggle with sin, and face challenges. We all do; it’s part of living in a broken world. But as they become more like him, their responses to those things will change because becoming more like Jesus means choosing truth over lies, kindness over gossip, love over selfishness, and obedience over comfort.
As we end this year of praying for our kids, let’s pray that our kids become like Jesus, that they live such a full life of faith that others will say, “They loved like Jesus loved.”
Jesus, sanctify __________ through your Spirit. Shape their heart to reflect you in how they love, serve, follow, and obey. May they go to you every day and learn to talk with you and listen to your voice all day long. May they allow you to help them be more like you every day so that your light shines through them. Amen.
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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy10m - May 25, 2026 - When decisions are tough with Megan Jones
Big decisions in motherhood often come with uncertainty—especially when it comes to balancing family, work, calling, and the many demands on our time.
In this episode, the tables are turned as Megan Jones interviews Courtney about her decision to step away as host of Pardon the Mess. The conversation explores the tension many moms feel when navigating career decisions, learning when to say yes or no, and discerning God’s direction in changing seasons.
Together, they talk honestly about the twists and turns that can come with work and motherhood, the challenge of trusting God with the unknown, and the importance of following his leading even when the path forward isn’t fully clear.
This episode is a thoughtful encouragement for anyone walking through a season of transition or making difficult decisions for themselves or their family.
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction and Background
02:59 The Importance of Mentorship
05:56 Navigating Change and Transitions
12:08 Finding Purpose in Parenting
17:59 Reflections on Priorities and Regrets
18:48 Psst — we may have hidden a little surprise in this episode 🎉 In case you can't wait until May 28th to meet your new host!
23:56 Looking Ahead: Future Plans and Encouragement
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Resources from today’s show:
Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Our Sponsors:
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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy29m - May 21, 2026
