Ep. 55: When Structure Meets Relationship: Rethinking How We Partner with Sibrecht Diender

What if a contract could be built on trust instead of fear?

In this episode of the Love Not Fear podcast, Tine Bieber sits down with Sibrecht Diender, relational contracting expert, founder of Yellow Everest and member of the Vested Board of Advisors, to talk about what happens when structure meets relationship. Sibrecht explains how relational contracts move business partners away from power games and risk shifting toward co-creating a shared vision, and why the way we write our agreements says a lot about our culture. Together they explore trust, transparency, governance and what it really takes to keep a partnership alive for the long term.

Topics covered in this episode:

- How Sibrecht went from procurement "negotiation tactics" to relational contracting

- Relational versus transactional contracts, and why risk shifting backfires

- The statement of intent: shared vision, desired outcomes and social norms front and center in the contract

- Moving from a fear driven scarcity mindset to abundance: making the pie bigger for everyone

- Why trust and transparency are the essence, and how organizational culture can help or block them

- Core teams, "couples" across organizations and the role of the steering committee

- Internal alignment, silos and the root causes behind most partnership challenges

- Total cost of ownership and creating value together instead of squeezing price

- A contract that works like a playbook, not something you put in a drawer

- How relational contracts helped partners get creative during COVID

- Onboarding generations, relationship health checks and why a refresh keeps ownership alive

About Sibrecht Diender:

Sibrecht Diender is the founder of Yellow Everest, a consultancy based in the Netherlands that helps organizations build strategic, trust based business partnerships. She has close to two decades of experience in procurement and supply chain, including roles in the energy and high tech sectors. Sibrecht has been a certified Vested coach since 2016 and has served on the Vested Board of Advisors since 2020. She is the co-author, with Bonnie Keith, of "Successful Relational Contracting: Preparing for Business-to-Business Collaboration" (Palgrave Macmillan, 2025).

Chapters:

00:00 Welcome and introducing Sibrecht Diender

01:25 From procurement to relational contracting

03:57 What is relational contracting?

05:44 The statement of intent

06:28 From a scarcity mindset to abundance

07:28 Trust, transparency and culture

08:38 Who uses relational contracts?

10:23 Walking through the process

12:31 Soft and squishy? Why alignment creates focus

13:21 Agency and adult to adult relationships

14:42 Would you treat your friends this way?

15:33 Holding space and involving stakeholders

17:12 Core teams, couples and the steering committee

20:59 Internal alignment and breaking down silos

23:13 Walking our talk: culture in the contract

25:26 From the core team to the whole organization

26:33 Designing governance for the long term

27:32 What success looks like: total cost of ownership

29:55 A contract that works like a playbook

32:16 Staying involved: check ins and health checks

34:28 Relational contracts in a crisis

37:13 Ambassadors of organizational transformation

38:47 Onboarding generations and the refresh

42:40 Stronger together: the couple structure

43:12 Wrapping up

45:13 Where to find Sibrecht

Connect with Sibrecht Diender:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sibrechtdiender

Website: https://yelloweverest.com

Book: https://yelloweverest.com/publications/book-successful-relational-contracting/