• 368. Why Feminine Energy Is a Superpower Not a Weakness

    Explore the transformative aspects of feminine energy in this insightful Recap episode with Brad and Lesley. Together, they debunk common misconceptions and underline the significant benefits of feminine energy in empowering women to lead with both vulnerability and confidence. Focusing on critical life areas—love, career, and friendships—this episode invites listeners to evaluate their own beliefs, values, and the energies they embody. Discover the importance of balancing masculine and feminine energies, a key to achieving both personal well-being and professional success.



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    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Recognize the benefits of employing feminine energy.
    • Identifying your core values by reflecting on what you don't want.
    • How to examine your masculine energy to shift into a feminine space.
    • Why managing your energy contributes to creating a positive environment.


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    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    What I would say is see your feminine energy as a superpower. And be okay being in it and then also be okay tapping into the masculine energy and just go back to last week's episode and realize if you got stuck in one of those energies, pick the gas pedal off the floor, unstick it from your cyber truck and, you know, shift gears a little bit. 


    Lesley Logan 0:23  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host and life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the transformative convo I had with Mary McMonagle in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that episode, feel free to go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. Or you should just listen to this one and then like roll right into the next one. You could add it to your queue. There's different ways to listen to podcast. So thank you for being here. 


    Brad Crowell 1:25  

    Queue it up. 


    Lesley Logan 1:26  

    Today is May 16th 2024. And it is Global Accessibility Awareness Day. So this day is a focus on accessibility and Global Accessibility Awareness is celebrated every third Thursday in May. This year, it takes place on May 16th. People are encouraged to discuss, debate and educate themselves on access issues on Global Accessibility Awareness Day. You know, I'm just going to add to this. It doesn't have to be digital. Make yourself aware of things that like would be inaccessible to a lot of people. We were in Nashville and I noticed there are no sidewalks in most of the neighborhoods. I'm like what if someone is in a wheelchair? How are they getting around in this neighborhood? They're not. They're not. You couldn't even walk. And then we were in Mexico. And I was like, how? How is this person going on this sidewalk? So like just you know, different things. Also shout out to Jane Fonda. Who was like doing activism for blind people. I think it's blind people might have been deaf people. No, no, it was deaf people. She learned sign language so she can accept an award in sign language. So she's freaking awesome. I'm not saying you have to go learn sign language, although that does feel like a really cool skill set to have. But just you know, make yourself aware of accessibility issues that could be where you are we can affect places that we are available at and around is a key event that spotlights digital accessibility and inclusion for persons with disabilities to raise awareness and inspire action. Increasing the usability and accessibility of digital products like websites, mobile applications and other online tools is important as everyone needs to have access to the same information no matter what their design disabilities may be. So you know, if you have a website, it's you got to do all the things, guys. You got to, there's an ADA compliance in the United States. And if you are in a different country, it's probably called something else. So figure out what that is. But yeah, I just think it's really cool to just think about because we don't think about things that don't affect us. So try it sometime. It makes you feel like you're part of a bigger community.


    Brad Crowell 3:18  

    It's true. Let's get into here's what's coming out.


    Lesley Logan 3:22  

    What's coming out, babe? You take it. 


    Brad Crowell 3:23  

    Okay, okay. Next up is OPC Summer Camp. Y'all were really, really fired up about this. June 1 and 2 join us live for the party. We are going back to camp and it's going to be the best one because you don't have to get dirty. You don't have to use the buddy system to go to the bathhouse you don't have to worry about creaky cabins. You don't have to worry about terrible food. No mosquito bites. No one's going to try to drown you in the lake. 


    Lesley Logan 3:49  

    Brad and I are your camp directors. 


    Brad Crowell 3:51  

    Yeah, there's nobody accidentally archery practicing like shooting at kids. You're good. 


    Lesley Logan 3:57  

    Yeah, we are the camp directors and you have 14 camp counselors. Well, 13 because I'm one of them. 


    Brad Crowell 4:02  

    Because we're gonna be on Camp Zoom, y'all. 


    Lesley Logan 4:04  

    Yeah, Camp Zoom. And if you are not catching the vibe of what we're throwing down, think Wet Hot American Summer y'all like it is but without the sexual innuendo jokes. At any rate, we are having a great time. We have seven classes and seven workshops over two days. It is done live but there will be replays in perpetuity for those who purchased them. So if you cannot join us live, you are going to miss out on Camp Zoom, but you are still going to be able to be part of summer camp in a way that you never ever could before because you know if you, in camps, usually you have to be there. 


    Brad Crowell 4:38  

    And speaking about making accessible. Our whole goal with this was to put you all who are probably, many of you are probably way into Pilates because obviously that's most of the community that we speak to but we're putting a bunch of classes and workshops in for people who might not be Pilates diehards, right, but this will be a really appealing topic to them such as. 


    Lesley Logan 5:01  

    Every single class and workshop is meant for whether you're a Pilates lover or a Pilates teacher so, because everybody is a Pilates practitioner. Yeah, so the topics include pelvic floor, knee pain, hypermobility, breast cancer survivor. We have endurance athlete workouts. We have a happy hip workout. I'm super excited about we have a workshop on modifications for the Wunda chair if you have back issues, we have Rachel Piper's doing the long stretch series. We've got Control Your Balance on the Mat. So many. Oh, Tammy is helping us build strength on the reformer.


    Brad Crowell 5:37  

    Love it.


    Lesley Logan 5:38  

    So many I mean.


    Brad Crowell 5:39  

    And we have a happy hour. So if they don't want to do anything else tell them to come to the happy hour. 


    Lesley Logan 5:43  

    So tower power happy hour's Liza (inaudible). It's a class. She said bring your, bring your own bubbles and so I'm sure she means she's doing sparkling water but that one you'll actually like feel you're laughing the whole time. Like Lisa just makes me laugh. So at any rate, come. Come, sign up. 


    Brad Crowell 6:01  

    So go to opc.me/events, opc.me/events.


    Lesley Logan 6:04  

    And you can buy ala cart or you can buy the day pass. Savings is at the day pass but get it while it's on Early Bird, guys.


    Brad Crowell 6:10  

    Do it, do it, do it. All right, next up, we got Cambodia. We are going back again to Cambodia. We've been talking about it this trip, this year for our 2024. But guess what? This year is sold out. What? So we decided to add early next year, February 2025. We're going to be going it's also another amazing time of the year this is actually the two times a year that we historically had gone until COVID really jacked everything up. But we would go in Feb and we would go the end of the year.


    Lesley Logan 6:38  

    Except for that time we did March and it was really hot and it was right before the pandemic so we were alone in the country. It was amazing.


    Brad Crowell 6:45  

    That's true. But, go to lesleylogan.co/retreats with an 'S' to get on the waitlist. We may actually be on early bird right now as you're listening to this. So when you sign up for that waitlist we'll send you an email right away telling you hey, actually, it's open check it out. But, lesleylogan.co/retreats.


    Lesley Logan 7:03  

    And the OPC Summer Tour is around the corner you know.


    Brad Crowell 7:07  

    Yes, not to be confused with Summer Camp. 


    Lesley Logan 7:09  

    No, these are two different things. 


    Brad Crowell 7:10  

    This is Summer Tour. 


    Lesley Logan 7:10  

    Summer Camp, you join us on Zoom. Summer Tour, we're coming to you.


    Brad Crowell 7:13  

    We're coming to you.


    Lesley Logan 7:14  

    And our headline sponsor is Balanced Body again. So lots of good things are coming from that. 


    Brad Crowell 7:19  

    Yeah, it's gonna be great. 


    Lesley Logan 7:20  

    So you want to go opc.me/tour so that you can find out what stops we're going to and I'm just saying if it's under four-hour drive, you should do it and we did have people who did six hours just to come to class so just. 


    We definitely did and it was a party. 


    No pressure. 


    Brad Crowell 7:32  

    We had a really good time. And okay, next up. Y'all know how much time and energy I have spent trying to write all these damn flashcards for the barrels? 


    Lesley Logan 7:40  

    Zero for me, but for me, we're over 400 hours. So you want to go to opc.me/flashcardwaitlist this might be the last chance to get on that waitlist to get the presale price. We are


    Brad Crowell 7:50  

    We may be in presale for this right now as well. 


    Lesley Logan 7:52  

    Yeah and it's a short window. So opc.me/flashcardwaitlist for the barrels flashcards.


    Brad Crowell 7:58  

    If you missed the barrels window, just add yourself to, we still have one more deck coming up next year. 


    Lesley Logan 8:03  

    Yeah, so just add yourself to the waitlist anyways, for that. I'm not telling you the thing that we got


    Brad Crowell 8:07  

    Next up we got eLevate. So Lesley is going to be doing eLevate round five in 2025. Right? So we're going to be figuring all that out and doing enrollment and everything this summer. But if you've ever wanted to know all the things that Lesley has learned from her teacher, Jay, who was a student of Joseph Pilates, this is where Lesley gets to actually pass on all this information. It is a nine-month program. It is incredible the transformation (inaudible).


    Lesley Logan 8:34  

    And when you graduate, you still chat with me, I actually tell a few girls today about some stuff that's going on in their


    Brad Crowell 8:39  

    There's a thriving alumni community. But the transformation for you as someone who was like already teaching Pilates is you will be connecting the dots on all the pieces of equipment. You will be understanding the Pilates method at a higher level. You will be confident when you meet a client that you don't have to spend an hour preparing for them before you teach them, right? You'll be able to look at their body and understand this is what they need to get them to the goals that they have, right, and it takes away all the class planning time. It's just been amazing for me to hear all the feedback from everyone who's gone through it. And then really what isanother incredible thing is you're building new relationships with amazing women all around the world that are gonna last you for a lifetime. Right? It has been so fun for us to see people partner up, go through this program together. And then they're besties it's like, you know, like how often does that happen?


    Lesley Logan 9:36  

    Heather and Christine actually teach each other every single week. Every single week. 


    Brad Crowell 9:40  

    Yeah. Amazing. So go to lesleylogan.co/ew that's for eLevate waitlist. E-W


    Lesley Logan 9:48  

    We'll be opening up the application this summer for 2025. So and it's limited. I only take 12 people in a group. 


    Brad Crowell 9:54  

    That's right. All right. 


    Lesley Logan 9:56  

    All right. Before I go into Mary's amazingness Do we have an audience question?


    Brad Crowell 10:00  

    Yes, we sure do. This is from Prada. 


    Lesley Logan 10:03  

    Prada and Pilates, Brad. 


    Brad Crowell 10:05  

    Oh, Prada and Pilates. Yeah, I thought it was Pilates IG. Yeah. Prada and Pilates from Instagram. When is your next in-person event, Dear Lesley?


    Lesley Logan 10:16  

    So it's going to be the Summer Tour. Yeah, that's our next in-person. And then there's a winter tour. And in between there's a retreat. But if you didn't, if you're not signed up for that, you can't sign up for that yet it's in February. So yeah.


    Brad Crowell 10:30  

    Yeah. Sorry you missed it. No, so Summer Tour is going to be in August. Winter Tour is gonna be in December. Summer Tour, we're going through the Midwest. Like we said, winter tour we're probably going to do.


    Lesley Logan 10:39  

    We're doing a lot, everything but the West Coast. 


    Brad Crowell 10:41  

    Yeah, we're going all the way up. We make all the way to Maine, y'all. Working it out, working it out. 


    Lesley Logan 10:46  

    You're asking because I don't do a lot of in-persons anymore. And I just had someone asked me when I'm gonna come to Greece and teach. So here's the deal if you were wanting me to come somewhere to teach, and you do not live in the continental United States, where I can put it on a tour. I don't know. Because I'm not doing a lot of in-person pop ups all over the place. Unless I can actually connect a bunch of cities at one time. To be honest, I love going in and teaching around the world. Like I'm so blessed and honored that I get to do that. But pre-COVID, every month, every two weeks, I was flying to a different country. I like I literally went to Spain, came home for five days and then went to the UK. That's stupid. It was amazing. But it was crazy. And I'm 41. And I love where I live. And so I want to come and see you. But I have to put things together so that Brad and I can like make the most of a 12-hour flight, make the most of an 18-hour flight. And so if you want me to come where you are, let me know. And what we'll do is we'll gather up all of you I'm gonna come to a similar area, and we'll figure out a way to make a European tour or Canadian Tour or Australian tour. It's definitely that I want to do it. I just also want to honor my family and my dogs and my business. It's whenever we leave, the whole business actually like stops and they, our team makes things go but like, it's really hard. 


    Brad Crowell 12:11  

    So get yourself on a waitlist of ours, right? 


    Lesley Logan 12:14  

    Lastly, I just want to say, it would be weird of me to coach you on being it until you see it and having boundaries and taking care of yourself first if I didn't do it first. So this is not, I don't like you or I don't want to. I absolutely want to. I want to make it work for everybody. 


    Brad Crowell 12:28  

    It's not you. It's me. 


    Lesley Logan 12:29  

    It really is. And it's, it sounds cliche, those people, you know, people fuck that up in the dating world. It is okay for it to be you. It is okay for it to be me. And it's okay for us to figure out a way to make it work together. So thank you for this question. I hope to see you on Summer Tour.


    Brad Crowell 12:42  

    Yeah, go to opc.me/tour. All right, now let's talk about Mary McMonagle. Mary is a New Jersey-based intuitive healer and feminine energy coach specializing in guiding high-achieving women from masculine-driven control to a life lead with heart and vulnerability. Founder of True Tribe and host of the Living Your True Vibe Podcast, Mary empowers women to lead with their feminine energy, ensuring they remain grounded, yet flow effortlessly to achieve their aspirations.


    Lesley Logan 13:15  

    Yeah, I'm actually going to have an episode on her podcast that should be coming out at the same time that this one is.


    Brad Crowell 13:21  

    Oh cool. 


    Lesley Logan 13:21  

    Yeah, it's really cool. We had a really great conversation, I really enjoyed the questions she asked. So she's, she's a cool chick. And she's done some amazing things. And she shares a lot of vulnerability. So I love that. She, one of the things I liked that she said, it's so important to really look at your values and ask yourself are you being that. And I think a lot of times when we're really frustrated with ourselves, we're outside of our values, we are not in alignment with our values. And that is when things can get a little frustrating. And when we are within our values were aligned with our values, it makes it so much easier to talk ourselves off a cliff. We're like, Oh, my God, I didn't do the thing over there. It's like, well, if it's not aligned with your values, so you didn't do it. So you can actually just live confidently in that. And I think, I think a lot of ways to actually have confidence is going back to last week's episode for a second is, knowing what your values are. And if you don't know what they are, it's really hard to be in alignment with them. So homework, if you don't know your values is to do them. And if you came on the business retreat we did this year, you got your values, and it was so fun to see those girls get their values. And so at any rate, I thoroughly agree with that. So yeah, I thought that was really fun. What about you? 


    Brad Crowell 14:27  

    Yeah. Well, before we even go into that, this has been a couple times that we've had this idea of feminine versus masculine energy on the podcast, and 


    Lesley Logan 14:38  

    Oh yeah, people love episode 346. Shout out to Cassie. 


    Brad Crowell 14:41  

    They did. Well, you know, when I heard this again, I was like, huh, we're going to talk through this again. And I thought it was interesting to hear her talk about the benefits of feminine energy versus just feminine versus masculine. The way that I imagined feminine energy is it's not, it's not a good thing. It's not a win. It's not a positive, right? And she she kind of broke down the misconceptions, the preconceptions that we have, between the two, the two things and why you would want to incorporate feminine energy in. And not only that, that bringing feminine energy into your world does not mean that you still can't be a badass, you still can't be a supermom still can't be, you know, taking names. It's just a different approach. And I thought it was, I thought it was revealing, I thought it was really helpful for me to kind of understand that a little bit better. So I appreciated that. One of the things that I loved, she said, we figure out what our values are by identifying what we don't want. You know, like, if you feel stuck, when someone's like, what do you want to be when you grow up? You're like, I don't know. But I definitely don't want to be this other thing over here. That's a great place to get started. You might not know what you want. But you probably can say, well, I definitely know what I don't want. And so if you're ever feeling stuck, you can flip it on its head and ask that question of like, what's the opposite here? Maybe I can identify what I don't want. And that can help me slowly piece together this bigger vision for my life? 


    Lesley Logan 16:22  

    Yeah, I think we've had that same sentiment come up before in the podcast on different things. That's like, Who do you want to be? It's like, Who don't you want to be? What do you want? Sometimes it's hard for us to envision, like, I think the other day you mentioned, like, what do you want, and you're like sleep. And it's a little weird that that's the first thing that comes up. It's like, for me, it's a G Wagen. Clearly, but sometimes we don't know what we want to get, we get so out of alignment, that it's going to take us a while we have to start with what we don't want to help us envision that. I want to just highlight like, I just want to go back to the feminine/masculine energy. I think society will say that being in your feminine is a negative thing. So I just want to clarify that you, Brad don't think that the feminine energy is a negative thing. But like that, the people will say, oh, like because people will think that you have it's weaker or like it's wrong to show your feelings. 


    Brad Crowell 17:12  

    Yeah, there are negative connotations associated with it. And no, I don't think I mean, you know, that, that having feminine energy or focusing on feminine energy is bad. And I also


    Lesley Logan 17:23  

    I think, because it's like a superpower to be a vulnerable person who can also receive, receive support, receive love receive?


    Brad Crowell 17:30  

    Well, also from Kelli Adame what she was talking about with it, is that there are times when men are also employing feminine energy. Right? And that is also a positive thing. 


    Lesley Logan 17:40  

    Because we have both energies inside of us. 


    Brad Crowell 17:42  

    Yes, yes. We're not one or the other. 


    Lesley Logan 17:44  

    Yes. And, and so.


    Brad Crowell 17:46  

    But again, that's a preconception. 


    Lesley Logan 17:47  

    Yeah. And I, 100% what I would say is see your feminine energy as a superpower. And be okay being in it. And then also be okay, tapping into the masculine energy. And just like, go back to last week's episode. And realize, if you got stuck in one of those energies, pick the gas pedal off the floor, unstick it from your cyber truck, and, you know, shift gears a little bit, you know, we're allowed to flow between the two in your day.


    Brad Crowell 18:16  

    Well, that takes you right back to the second part of what I wanted to talk about, which is, you know, just, it is important to identify if you if you're feeling stuck identifying what you do want, then maybe you can employ identifying what you don't want, but you don't wanna get stuck in what you don't want. Right? The idea is that planning negativity, and that whole energy is it's easy to tap into that and then we we end up staying in that. So don't do that. Okay. 


    Lesley Logan 18:45  

    Don't do that. 


    Brad Crowell 18:45  

    This, this is what I don't want. But it's going to help me identify what I do. 


    Lesley Logan 18:50  

    Yeah, I love it. All right, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. Because I took over Brad's role, hahaha.


    Brad Crowell 18:56  

    What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your convo with Mary McMonagle? She said, do something you are avoiding. She talks about how like something that you might be craving, somehow you could also be avoiding that. Be specific. When I think of something I'm avoiding, it actually causes stress, like in my gut, in my heart right inside of my chest, actually. And because I know I should be doing the thing, but I just don't want to do it. Right? Whatever the thing might be. And that could be you know, it's probably not like tackling a project in the shed that doesn't really matter. It doesn't really affect things, but what it could be is, you know, booking a doctor's appointment, you know, because whatever reason, it's just the last thing on my list that never gets done. Right? And I'm not craving booking my doctor's appointment, but it is something that I might have been avoiding. Right? So the idea is ultimately be specific. You know, you don't want to say I want to be better at you know, I guess what you could say is I want to be better at community right? So if you want to be better at community, that's not specific enough. You want to say, alright, what are some things that I could do to further that? Right? So maybe it's I'm going to text a person, what to think about them. And that could be as simple as that. And it just takes two seconds of like, hey, I'm thinking about you hope you're well, right kind of a thing. But that's being specific that will help you in your overall journey of, you know, working on community.


    Lesley Logan 20:25  

    Yeah, I think I really enjoyed that. Like, I think it's a really good place to start. Okay. 


    Brad Crowell 20:32  

    What about you?


    Lesley Logan 20:32  

    So she brought up the masculine and feminine energy for Be It Action Items. I mean, she was like, a way to start shifting into your feminine is to examine your masculine first, and we have another mirror, be it, which is really funny that these are two happening two weeks in a row. But this one is to examine three areas in your life, love, career and friendships, and start to think about your 


    Brad Crowell 20:51  

    Love, career and friendships. 


    Lesley Logan 20:53  

    Yeah, love, career and friendships, sort of think about your beliefs that are around feminine energy. Two, is to focus on what will be your values around feminine energy, meaning what foot the focus on the being. And then three, let go of the title, mom, business owner, etc. and ask, what is that vibrational frequency? And are you allowing yourself to receive that first and so there's a lot here to unpack. To me, I think it's going to take some time. But I think if you actually I'm gonna bring in Norda Kaiser's amazing little are you a star athlete or are you a fan? And so if you look at love, and you ask yourself, am I star athlete or am I a fan? Here's how do you know. A star athlete would actually look at the areas that they did really well and examine how they did that. And then they would look at the areas where they didn't feel they did well and then they would go and do practice to get stronger at that. A fan is who are, oh they missed that. Super judgmental, super excited about things when they go well, but if they don't go well, they're like, he missed that. And it's very judgy. And so just notice where you are judging yourself in the love, career and friendships and shift into being that star athlete. And that is going to actually, when you put yourself in that place, yes, it can be more masculine the way to think about taking action, but the way to actually take the action is to receive, receive feedback and support and be in a more feminine space to actually get into being an observation and not being like super judgy. So that's just that's just a way that I interpreted how to like, examine those two, those three areas. And then I loved, I really loved the part where it's like the vibrational frequency because we when we put titles like mom, entrepreneur, you know, different titles, wife, we actually often put definitions that we didn't actually take the time to create. And we put, we use the title has different definitions that the world has told us what a mom is, you know, if somebody's friends who like 


    Brad Crowell 22:53  

    Let's break this down, I'm a little stuck on this concept of a vibrational frequency. Ask what is that vibrational frequency? I don't know what that means. 


    Lesley Logan 23:00  

    Yeah. So okay. The way I understood it, the way I'm taking it is, it's a be it till you see it kind of thing. How do you want to feel, what is the energy you're going to bring to the title before you put the title in front of it. So if you are a mom, there's all this mom guilt that's going the fuck around. And it's like, as soon as you're, as soon as the baby is born and they hand you the baby and a load of mom guilt. And it's kind of crazy to me, because like, who is actually doing that? Who is actually putting the guilt on you? Right? Those people shouldn't be your friends. But if you were to take mom away, and you ask yourself, Who do I want to be in this role? And how does that, what is that frequency? So going back to Gay Hendricks because we talked about frequency with him, fear and excitement are on the same frequency. It's just that like, you actually are going from worry to joy. So if you actually can think about like, some feelings have a lower vibration, right? A lower like negative, like heavy, some things have a higher vibration. That doesn't mean you need a high vibration all the time and low, like high and low don't mean bad or good. But like, what, how do you want to feel? What is the energy you want to bring to the role that you're doing? And then you can actually put yourself in that position versus if you put the title on it sometimes we put that title comes with the definition and it comes with expectations that are not the same as what you would bring to that. So that would be the more masculine energy around like trying to be what the, what society tells you a mom is or business owner is versus like how you want to have, how you want to be at that moment and then that could allow you to be in a feminine energy around that thing or masculine depending on what you want to do. It's complicated. 


    Lesley Logan 24:45  

    Well, that was just a lot. I mean, definitely little more clarity on that. 


    Just over here trying to define woowoo words. 


    Brad Crowell 24:54  

    Well, I appreciate it. 


    Lesley Logan 24:55  

    Everything has a frequency, though. 


    Brad Crowell 24:57  

    It does. 


    Lesley Logan 24:57  

    Yeah, and that's why I like, also, you know. 


    Brad Crowell 25:01  

    That you were talking about your feeling, you were talking about with the dog today when you were out. Like my own response to some people versus others. Don't even pay them any money. 


    Lesley Logan 25:10  

    Oh, yeah, like this one woman, we were standing in line, and there's one right behind us. And he didn't even like go to her and another woman got in line and he went right up to her. And she was like, ready to receive him. Like, just like, how does he know that she's a dog person, right? So we all are putting these frequencies out. Also, you got to notice like, sometimes if I'm in a low vibration, I am aware because I, you start to respond differently to me. And vice versa. Sometimes I've had to say, you need to leave the room because your vibrate., your energy is changing the vibe.


    Lesley Logan 25:42  

    Yeah, we also associate this with charisma. 


    Yes, yes. 


    Brad Crowell 25:47  

    Yeah. Totally. 


    Lesley Logan 25:48  

    I'm Lesley Logan. 


    Brad Crowell 25:49  

    And I'm Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 25:49  

    Thank you so much for listening to this episode today. How are you going to use these tips in your life we want to know. Make sure you tag the Be It Pod. Share this with a friend. That's how the podcast grows is if you share it with a friend. We, podcast need reviews and listeners. That is currency for us. 


    Brad Crowell 26:02  

    So dial up your frequency and get it out there. 


    Lesley Logan 26:04  

    Yeah, you'll have to step into your masculine to send it out but then let your friends be in the feminine and receive. Boom, there it is.


    Brad Crowell 26:11  

    Solve the world's problems.


    Lesley Logan 26:12  

    Right there. Have an amazing day and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Brad Crowell 26:16  

    Bye for now. 


    Lesley Logan 26:18  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 

     


    Lesley Logan 26:45  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 27:00  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 27:05  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 27:10  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 27:17  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


    Brad Crowell 27:20  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

     


    Transcribed by https://otter.ai



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    27m - May 16, 2024
  • 367. Ways to Shift Into Your Feminine Energy

    Are you ready to unlock your true feminine energy and embody your true values? In this episode, you'll learn how to find balance between your masculine and feminine energies and shed limiting beliefs that have been holding you back. Mary McMonagle, a renowned feminine energy coach, joins host Lesley Logan to discuss her unique approach to feminine energy. Mary shares her personal journey of healing, self-discovery, and offers practical tips and actionable steps you can use to begin your own transformation. Explore the power of feminine energy and its ability to create clarity, confidence, and fulfillment in all areas of your life.



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Identifying and embracing the benefits of leading with feminine energy.
    • The importance of defining your personal values and embodying them.
    • Examining the traditional roles of feminine and masculine energies.
    • Identifying the potential pitfalls of giving to receive validation.
    • Strategies for effectively working towards manifesting your dreams.
    • Acknowledging the importance of stepping outside of comfort zones.


    Episode References/Links:


    Guest Bio:

    Mary is an intuitive healer and feminine energy coach with a passion for guiding high-achieving women toward breaking free from their own limitations and fully embracing their true essence. As the founder of True Vibe, a compelling spiritual lifestyle brand, Mary is wholeheartedly devoted to helping individuals unlock their true potential. Mary stands out as an influential figure in the realm of intuition and feminine energy coaching. She is the host of the Living Your True Vibe Podcast. Through her podcast, she inspires countless individuals to embrace their true essence and live authentically. One of Mary's greatest strengths lies in her ability to effortlessly guide her clients from a state of overthinking to a place of heartfelt clarity, allowing them to attract secure relationships and achieve significant growth in both their businesses and personal lives. In Mary's spare time, you can find her surfing at the Jersey shore or walking her dog Emme.

     

     

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    Episode Transcript:

    Mary McMonagle 0:01  

    I, for so long, was scared to shift in my feminine energy because I don't want to be lazy. I don't want to do anything. I have big goals, big dreams. And my process is about being grounded in your masculine energy. We need our head. We need our logic. Got to make sure our heads are screwed on and then to lead with your feminine energy so that you are in flow. You are a woman who is confident. You are a woman who is being in her vibrations.


    Lesley Logan 0:28  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

      


    Hi, Be It babe. Well, I'm really excited for you to be here today. First of all, I'm just always excited for you to be here. Thank you for letting me have time in your ears. And if you're watching this on YouTube podcast then thanks for letting me have time with you in general. We had a lot of people getting really interested in feminine and masculine energies, we had Kelli Adame on and I wanted to continue the conversation and have a different perspective on feminine energies from someone who does it outside of relationship, does it more within yourself and within your work. And so when I found our guest today, I was just really excited because I think it can be really interesting, too, especially because I know so many of you are you own your own business or you want to and it's like how do I receive and also get my job done. So I have Mary on today, I'm really excited for you to hear her story. We talk a lot about journeying and in reflecting on yourself. And also different exercises you can take to just cover your values. And we use some examples about relationships. But I think these are all things you can use in your regular life and I really enjoyed her Be It Action Items. I think it's super fun to do. And also you have an exercise you can do in there that will help you understand like what your obstacles are. So here is Mary McMonagle. 


    Hey, Be It babe. Well, welcome back. I'm so excited to talk to our guests today. I have been listening to her podcast this whole week and I just think you'll love her and what she has to say and she's just a true human. So Mary McMonagle is our guest today. I'm going to hope I said that name correctly. And I would love for you to tell everyone who you are and what you rock at.


    Mary McMonagle 2:42  

    Hey, Lesley. Hey, everyone. Yeah, you said it perfect. My name is Mary McMonagle. I am from New Jersey. I live at the Jersey Shore. I am a feminine embodiment coach. So I work with women who are in their masculine energy, meaning you are the go-getter or the achiever you like to be in control, you like to do things your own way. And I help them to shift into their feminine energy so that they can lead with their heart and soften, and be vulnerable, speak their truth. And my process is around that it's important because we need both. I, for so long, was scared to shift in my feminine energy because I don't want to be lazy. I don't want to do anything. I have big goals, big dreams. And my process is about being grounded in your masculine energy. We need our head. We need our logic. Got to make sure our heads are screwed on and then to lead with your feminine energy so that you are in flow. You are a woman who is confident. You are a woman who is being in her vibrations. So that's a little bit about me and what I do.


    Lesley Logan 3:49  

    That's so cool. I think we've had a couple episodes on masculine/feminine energy because some people feel like you'd be one or the other. And they don't realize you embody both throughout the day. And it's like really being able to tap into the energy that's going to best serve you in that moment. And I do think like, especially a lot of people who listen here, they work for themselves. They take care of everyone at home. It can be really hard for them to even understand how to have time to be in their feminine, you know, like how do you even not do the actionable stuff? And I think the misconception is that feminine energy isn't not actionable, but it actually is quite. 


    Mary McMonagle 4:27  

    Yes. Yeah and I had people in my past version of myself telling me oh, you just need to take a rest day and I would get pissed off. I'm like, well, one, don't tell me what to do. Not because I'm like, who's gonna get all these things done? So you know, if you're listening to this, that's not what feminine energy is about. It's, yes, rest days are a tool, but you'll hear me share I mean, my beliefs on feminine energy, it's not journaling, it's not yoga, it's not rest days. That's not being in your feminine energy. That is a practice and a tool to guide you into feminine energy. But I come about feminine energy is it's a place of who you are being. And a lot of us we end up shifting into becoming someone who is a woman who is more gentle with herself, a woman who is more patient, more understanding. So yeah, that's my unique stance on especially with feminine energy. Because, again, I was someone who was very much in my masculine.


    Lesley Logan 5:25  

    Yeah, let's talk about that. Let's talk about how, because I mean, like, I don't think you probably weren't born and your first job was coaching people on feminine energy. So like, how did you get to here and what drew you into this, because I do, I'm sure it's also not the easiest thing to say, you coach on. I'm sure people are like, okay. You know what I mean? Like, I would love the steps, please. Tell me action, step one, two, and three. So how,did, what was the before, Mary, how did you get here? 


    Mary McMonagle 5:52  

    Oh, all the time. So I got here because I got to a place that I said, enough is enough. If you're listening to this, if you've ever said that, you know that feeling and it does not feel good. And so for me, I got here from a place of constantly feeling like I was battling the people around me, family, society, because I was different. And you know, just like you point out, Lesley, like, oh, that's a little bit different of you know, what you're doing, as most most of us, right? And I always felt like I was battling everyone because I was, I always chose to pave my own path. Before Lesley and I hit record, we were talking about Vegas. And at one point, I lived there, because I chose that I was not in my purpose, I was not headed towards alignment of who I was supposed to become. I was in grad school, and I dropped out. So I can move to Las Vegas to become a yoga teacher and see where life took me. And so fast forward, I always felt like it was me against the world. And I got to a place where I said enough is enough. What do I need to change? This is one of my techniques and processes, which is called holding up the mirror. And I'm holding up the mirror to the three main areas of my life, which is love, career, friendships and how is that reflecting anything within me. And a big part of why I'm so passionate about the work that I do was, specifically with love, I was attracting a lot of emotionally unavailable men. I was a lot attracting a lot of men who would ghost me. I was attracting a lot of men who would hit it and quit it, let's say. And that's because I abandoned myself, I didn't fully love myself. I was saying, oh, I'm okay with just being like whatever you want me to be. And I had no sense of self-worth, no sense of self-confidence, no sense of self-love. And so through doing my own healing, I got into this place where it completely changed my life, where now I have, I have my values, my standards. And I know as a woman who I am. And I'm always learning more and more about myself. And so what the big, the big piece into doing this work was the feminine energy because one, my masculine energy, and if you're listening to this, a way to start to shift into your feminine energy is to examine your masculine energy first, because our masculine energy is protecting us, is trying to lead us, but often it's from an unhealed place that we don't feel safe within ourselves. Our masculine energy is a big piece on safety. So I first had to feel safe within myself. So then you can ease your way into your feminine energy, which is self-extraction and being vulnerable. And so throughout my own journey, I was able to really see the powerful effects of being in your feminine energy and how that has been able to guide me into my life's purpose it's been able to bring me more business it's been able to bring me fulfilling relationships.


    Lesley Logan 8:59  

    That's so cool. I haven't heard about it like that where you examine the masculine and kind of understand who you are being there. I also think it's very interesting, I have a girlfriend who, she's doing some life transitions and she's also spending time as she tries a different relationship she's like evaluating herself and how she is acting in that because I think it's so easy for us to go they didn't value me, they didn't do this. And I really appreciate you're like oh, they were being themselves. I wasn't valuing myself enough to attract someone else you know, we try to like change the other person versus like realize like what how we are being in a relationship and like we can change ourselves and then attract a different type of person you know, so that's, so it's just a very interesting way to go about it because it's so easy to self like to blame other people versus like examining the action steps you took to be where you are. I really want to highlight like you talked about the tools to being in your feminine but not how like that's not actually being feminine, because I do think a lot of people go, I'm doing all the things, ladies. I am doing the meditation, I am doing the mantras. I'm doing the affirmations. I am going to the yoga. I'm wearing a dress. I don't know why they're doing all the things. And I think it's interesting, because just because you're using all the tools doesn't mean you're getting there. And I wonder like, what where the disconnect might be if like everyone's it's almost like they're, the doing of all the tools is just more masculine.


    Mary McMonagle 10:25  

    Yes. Exactly that, Lesley. That's one of the things that I say is a lot of us are going about trying to shift more feminine energy from a masculine way even self development, personal growth, we're like, let me read all the books. Let me do all these things. And so how I describe to shift in your feminine energy, one, the masculine is doing and the feminine energy is being. So it's important to get really clear on who you want to be. But before we even go there let's look at what you even think feminine energy is because it's exactly as Lesley described it. My beliefs around feminine energy, I was, I thought feminine energy was being lazy. I thought being in your feminine energy was you view being a damsel in distress waiting for a man to come save you. And so, one, start to think of what your beliefs are around feminine energy and then focus on what will be your values around feminine energy. Meaning, focus on the being. So you're coming, if you're a business owner, or a mom, who are you being, right? You're not the business owner, you're not the mom, but what is your vibrational frequency? My being in my feminine energy is I come from a place of love. I come from a place of that I really allow myself to be a safe space for someone to come to me and be vulnerable. So that's my being. So what was a big part of me having to work on with my feminine energy? Being vulnerable. Feeling with my emotions I used, if I felt like I was going to cry, Lesley, I would bite my tongue because I didn't want to cry. And I didn't want to seem weak. But my being is someone who wanted to be a safe person for someone, but I'm not being a safe person for myself. And then it's back to the love. My being is, when I'm in my feminine energy, I'm being a place of love. So what do you need to do? You need to make sure you're filling up your cup first, right? We all know that phrase, but we all, it is so important to come from a place of love so that I can give that. So what I would open up for your listeners is to let go of the title, let go of the mom, let go of the business owner, wife, single woman et cetera. Who do you want to be? And what is that vibrational frequency and ask yourself, are you giving that? Are you allowing yourself to receive that first?


    Lesley Logan 13:05  

    Yeah, that's interesting. I like that's a if I'm in my feminine energy, what is that vibration? What is that energy? What is our value? I like to use that word because I think vibration people like I don't even know, like that's two, that's a double woo. Girls know the vibrate? How are you vibrating? Like, but if you think of like, what are your values? And if you're asking yourself, okay, if I embody these values what does that mean? How am I treating myself first? Like how am I that so that I can reflect those values at other people? You can be if you want to have love, but you don't love yourself, people are not going to actually receive the love that you're giving. It's not something that I find people can go, they don't love themselves. That's why their love is weird. They're just like, there's something vague or something off, there's something like not congruent in those things. And it's because it's coming from someone who hasn't yet done it for themselves yet, so you have to be that value in you. And then it will shine through in the actions that you take and even an action even in the feminine energy. Yeah, that's cool. I like that.


    Mary McMonagle 14:04  

    Yes, exactly that. It's like if you are a health coach, and you're telling your client that food is important and you are what you eat, but then you are going and getting fast food every single day. There is that misalignment and we can definitely, as humans, until we do this work, we seek things outwardly from other people. So a lot of us including myself, I was seeking validation from men. Why? Because I didn't get validation from my father and why that is because my masculine wound with it. Well, I shouldn't say why but what did that create within me? That created a deep masculine wound. And so yeah, it goes really deep but I love how you reflected that back because it is just so important to really look at your values and ask yourself are you being that because If you're not being it, you're not going to receive it or when you do receive it, if you haven't embodied it, you won't feel worthy enough to keep it.


    Lesley Logan 15:07  

    Yeah. I have a question for you. And if you don't have an exercise for this, no worries it just keep coming up, I'm remember people saying like, what are your values for business? What are your values you should have? Like, it should be like three to five, you don't have too many, because you won't remember them. And I totally agree there. But I was like, well, how do I know my values? And I laugh a little bit, because it sounds a little silly to say it out loud. But also, if you've never done the action, like never done the exercise of like really looking at what your values are, what you think, it's not like, there are certain values that I agree, we should all care for other people and all that stuff, but also what are your personal values you live your life by? How did you discover yours? Or do you have suggestions for how people can like kind of try their own on? 


    Mary McMonagle 15:50  

    Such a great question. I love that. So oftentimes, we figure out what our values are, by identifying what we don't want. And a past version of myself, I said, okay, I don't want a man who can't provide for me who's not going to plan the dates. Why? Because I experienced that. And I didn't like that. And but I think a lot of times, including myself, I've been there, we can get stuck in this pain. We can get stuck in this is what I don't want, this is what I experienced. And it's important to look at the pleasure and the pleasure is the opposite side of that. So that is our values. So maybe when you, for me, when I was experiencing I want, I don't want a man where I'm going to have to plan all the dates, I'm gonna have to pay for everything. So for me, the opposite of that was okay, I want a man who is going to provide who is going to lead. And then deeper in that, ask yourself, well, why is this important to me? Why is that important to me? And that is important to me, because it also allows me to feel safe, it allows me to relax, it allows me to let go of control which is again, me allowing to be in my feminine energy. So a big piece in identifying your values is okay, think about what you want, what you've experienced that you don't want to experience again? That's your pain, but then move towards the pleasure and look at your list of values. And then again, ask yourself, identify, okay, am I embodying that a big piece of my values is, at least for what I want to receive in a man is a man who is secure within himself, he is emotionally available. So, and I have a pattern. Again, this isn't (inaudible) tangible, but start to notice what patterns you have within yourself, a.k.a. what are you frequently attracting in your life? And this could be, these patterns show up in different ways. So you might have a pattern of receiving a lot of money and doing really well in your business. And then you might have a lot of slow months. To me that's a pattern of you have yet to feel worthy to hold on to that money and to feel safe with money. I have a pattern where I would attract emotionally unavailable men because me as the healer, the coach, I'm like, let me fix you let me like show you I'm powerful.


    Lesley Logan 18:19  

    Yeah. 


    Mary McMonagle 18:19  

    So for me a big value is okay, this man is emotionally available and not meaning that he has to be my coach or healer, but I can be vulnerable and express myself. 


    Lesley Logan 18:33  

    Since we're talking a little bit about dating, the best advice I've ever given. When I was single, there's a couple pieces of advice that were like just stellar. One was how red is his flag. Because my therapist was like you there was red flags at the beginning of the relationship that you ignored. So you need to go back and reflect and like think about each day and think about the red flag and think about why you ignored it. So that you can spot it as you're dating. And so don't repeat because like I was dating the same person, just a different looking person, but like the same type of person. So that was one piece of advice that was really, really great. And it allowed me to understand it's another way of looking at values. It's like what do I need out of a relationship? Oh, that's a red flag for me. And instead of running away and just like going uh, you're out of here. I could actually go you know, what you just said that like makes me like, you know, just makes me like pick up a little bit go, so you explore it, can you tell me a little bit more what you mean by that word that you just said and it is at the very least educational informative for them. So and also at like, time saver for me. The other piece of advice is to go back to like, you don't want to coach them. I was working with this trainer and I my now husband had texted me about like his yoga practice and Pilates instructor. And he said if you want this guy to date you you are not allowed to teach him how to do the thing he struggles with in yoga. You can go to yoga with him, but you don't teach him. I have a lot of powerful women as best friends in my life and they are just like, they are amazing at what they do. They're even great to beat in their energies like feminine, like they can navigate really well. And they had partners who like just didn't grow with them. And now that they're out there dating, they're, they've been on some dates where people have said some things, and they just were like this, like, you know, you can, I'm here to listen to your problem. But as a coach, I don't want to coach you, because it's not sexy. It's not attractive to me. And so I think it's really cool. Everyone who's listening, whether you're in a relationship or wanting to be in one, it's just reflecting that you just because you are something and in the world and be famous and known for it doesn't mean you have to be that in the relationship. And that being that in the relationship is what's taking you out of your feminine to be able to receive anything amazing from that relationship.


    Mary McMonagle 20:46  

    Yes, I love that. Because adding on to that, it's like if you look at the yin and the yang, you are taking up all of the yang, you are not allowing any there to be any yin. So how I do view this work, which is important, because I think there's a lot of people out there who talk about feminine energy and don't really understand the roots of it. I come from a rooted place of evolutionary psychology. So and let's be gone. Continue with this relationship example. And based on evolutionary psychology, men, they are the leaders, the protectors, they want to be in charge. And us women, we are the nurturers where we're caring, we're softening but that doesn't mean that we can't be boss as bitches over here and have get stuff done. So like your example, Lesley, it's, if you're showing a man of here, let me show you how to do this yoga pose, often we then switch roles because your events were coming from a place of mothering. Oh, here honey, let me show you how to do this. And I know this because I've duh, God, I used to be a mom to so many men, it's crazy. So and this is important to look at in your life is okay where am I being a little bit mothering because and especially with men, you know, you might say, oh, like I can show you how to do this pose. But for men, it isn't in there, based on evolutionary psychology based off of the way their bodies are designed and function, it's important for them to be able to be lead and be in control. But that's not to say, you know, like, we don't have to be to the extreme. Again, I'm all about balance. Maybe your partner asks you to show him the yoga pose, like show him the yoga pose. But I think a lot of us women, including my past version of myself, is we sometimes seek to prove our worth, hey, look, I know this, look how amazing I am. Right? 


    Lesley Logan 22:46  

    I think that energy of what you're coming about is what you're getting at. Like, if you're coming at it from like, look at me, I'm so amazing. This is why you're gonna love me because I can teach you this thing. Versus like, okay, I have this knowledge. I can help you in this moment. But we don't have to go all the way into it all the time. Because it can change the dynamics of the relationship and like what and if and really I think it comes down to like, how do you feel like if you feel like you're giving that to that person, whether it's a partner or a friend, if you feeling like you're able to receive equally, that it's fine. It's different when you feel like it's draining you. And you're not getting anything back. Yeah.


    Mary McMonagle 23:26  

    Yes, yeah. Because and I'm sure if you're listening to this, can you think of a time where maybe you're giving to a friend, a family member and just giving, giving and giving? And all of a sudden, you're saying I feel drained, I feel not valued. I don't feel appreciated. Because well, one, you probably are giving from a place of lack and scarcity of like, let me help this person because yeah, I love them. But actually, you're trying to receive some sort of validation. And so when we give, it's important that we are then allowing ourselves to receive most of the times you're giving and you feel a lack, and you'd be that's because you're not getting that validation. So it's important when you are giving to ask yourself, okay, well, why is this important to give? Yeah, I want to help this person. I love them. But what are you also looking to receive from that as well?


    Lesley Logan 24:19  

    Yeah, that's very, that's very true. We coach Pilates instructors on their business and we talked about how like, if they are feeling resentment from their clients, it's because there's a lack, there's a discrepancy in what they're charging versus what they're giving. So they are giving more than they're receiving in exchange with money. And the only reason it can be money is because this person cannot teach you back. Like there, it's not a barter system. This is a client and the only way your energy gets refilled is if the exchange is equal value. So I love that you pointed out, it's like whatever you're giving, it's great. But before you give it it's like having an idea of what you expect to receive in return. What a brilliant thing because it allows you to measure if it's the right relationship of giving, and you know, like, I'm a big fan of like being very generous and like in giving what you can all the stuff but also, there, you do need to have like a measuring tool of like the of the receiving of that if that is a great place to be giving, or can you be giving somewhere else? So really cool. Okay, Mary, you know, you share the journey of you living Vegas and kind of figuring out what you're doing and stepping into this coaching role and what you're doing, what are you most excited about right now? Because I know that you are someone who is always growing. And, so what's what's the most exciting thing that you're being in right now?


    Mary McMonagle 25:38  

    Oh, okay. I love this question. So I'm going to share with you last two weeks ago, I was at a retreat, and it completely changed my life. And something so simple, was one of the speakers he talked about what are your dreams, and he had us write down our dreams. And I started crying because I realized, my dreams are really big. And I don't talk about them enough. So I'm going to share with you some of the things that I wrote down because I know they are going to happen. But I also had a realization the next day is oh, the reason I don't actually share, talk about my dreams is because I am a go-getter. And if I share or talk about it, then that means I'm going to have to think of a way and a plan and an action to get there. But if I'm coming from my heart, and I'm coming that I will trust that things, I will take the right actions and it will unfold in time. So what I am working on is why I'm gonna speak my manifestations. My dreams is becoming a bestselling author, is my podcast impact millions, is being a world-renowned speaker, is starting a nonprofit for animal rescue, is to serve at amazing surf spots, eat amazing vegetarian meals, help my family financially, and there's more. But so the reason I'm sharing that is because I invite you to open up within yourselves and start to speak about, okay, these things are scary and far away. But that's what I'm working on. And then on a smaller scale, just making as much impact as possible, providing as much value as I can being of service, and really continuing to be vulnerable with myself. One of the best feelings is when someone comes to me and they're like, I've never shared this with anyone. And it's and it's deep and you can tell that they finally are start starting to, to release it and tap into freedom. And to me that's one of the most fulfilling things about what I do. My energy allows people to do that, because I do that for myself. So that's one of my (inaudible) words. 


    Lesley Logan 27:45  

    That's super fun. I like that you shared that because I do think a lot of people don't share their dreams. And it's funny like when you do say them out loud people, whether you want to think about the universe conspired in this way, they do see that's conspired for you. Like it does make it happen, you know, so like, anytime I've ever said the dream actually out loud to people, not just to my husband, but to actual, like random strangers, it has all come true. It's all managed to make itself happen. And I don't know that I can recreate it if I want to do so like I think it's I think that's really cool. Thank you for sharing that with us. That's really a lot of fun. And I do think all of those things will happen I hope especially the rescue, the animal rescue. In my and like I said most people can't follow the other like, rescue dog things on social. I follow all of them in Las Vegas. I follow all of them. I heard all of them. I leave comments. I share all the time. Like I cannot have any more dogs, currently have three. And we promised ourselves to be a two-dog household when one of ours passes. She's 14. So don't like I'm not being dark that she's just older and it's going to happen guys. So we're like we're gonna do two, but oh my god, there's this like cutie yesterday. I'm like, I just need a rescue. It's really what I need. I need a place where I could just put all these dogs. So yeah, so I hope that happens. Okay, we're gonna take a brief break. And we're gonna find out where people can find you, follow you, work with you, listen to your podcasts, all those things. 


    Okay, Mary. So you work with people on then embodying their feminine energy. How do they find you? Where can they get the best information? What do you got for us?


    Mary McMonagle 29:22  

    Yeah, so I'm over on Instagram @marymc4. If you go on my Instagram and right immediately my bio, there's a quiz, a free quiz, which is do you lead with your feminine energy or do you lead with your masculine energy? Because maybe you're listening to this and you're like, hmm, this sparks something within me. And I love this quiz. Because depending on what you get, the quiz is going to show you okay, maybe you lead with your masculine energy, how does that benefit you? Because it does, and then the areas of what I call the areas of improvement, okay, how can I start to trust a little bit more how can I start to shift into my feminine energy So, this quiz is going to help you identify that. So definitely go check it out. And you know, if you feel called to share your results with me send me a message. I would love to hear what you get.


    Lesley Logan 30:11  

    Awesome in your podcast is the True Vibe podcast.


    Mary McMonagle 30:15  

    Yes, Living Your True Vibe.


    Lesley Logan 30:17  

    Living Your True Vibe. You guys, it's really great. I really have enjoyed the episodes I've listened to. So lots of little takeaways and nuggets. I am curious. I have just started the one where you cut your leg open so I'm a little bit nervous. Like how did your leg heal?


    Mary McMonagle 30:34  

    That's been a journey. Check that out guys. And this is real time. I'm currently still healing. I cut my leg open on a retreat in Mexico. Literally cut it.


    Lesley Logan 30:46  

    Yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh, that's one of the, I joked, we're going off to bleed our retreat in Cambodia. We're getting some of the shots just because when you travel a lot, like I just want, I'm like, I don't want the flu. I'm not here to get COVID. I'm here to teach. And I was like, oh, I'm due for my tetanus and no one goes I don't recommend you get them all three today. I recommend you get two and then come back for the other one. We didn't come back for our tetanus shot and I remember like Brad like slipped he almost (inaudible) I'm like is that metal because we didn't do our tetanus shots. Like this theory of anything with metal because it's like oh my god we have outdated tetanus. So there's a lot of fear around cutting. So I hope you're healing quickly. So okay, before I let you go, bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps you can take to be it till you see it. What do you have for us?


    Mary McMonagle 31:38  

    I shared with you I feel called in this moment. I have a bunch. But I feel called in this moment. I know there's someone out there that maybe when I spoke my dreams and they're big and might seem scary. Just for today, I invite you to think about what is something that you've been craving? Maybe it's food but what are you what is your soul craving? Something specific. Maybe you've been wanting to go for a walk, maybe you've been wanting to check out a new spot, maybe even wanting to get dressed up and take yourself out? What are you not doing that you're, that you've been avoiding? And I invite you to go do that. Go get yourself go on Instagram live and do the thing because then then the next piece and that is understand what you will be working through. You might be working through some discomfort, some getting outside your comfort zone. Going live, you might be working on getting through those insecurities. So where are you holding yourself back? A quick example of this. I just had a client text me this morning because her YouTube video is going viral. She went from 100 YouTube subscribers to 2000 overnight and she almost didn't post that video that she made. And I was like, well, why are you not gonna post it? She's like, I feel really insecure. I'm like, that's exactly why you need to post it. And just by her getting over that insecurity, I'm not saying you're gonna go viral overnight, but she, after that, after she posted them like how do you feel? She's like, I feel free. Because you're no longer letting your insecurities hold you back. So where in your life today can you do something that you're avoiding? And ask yourself this. This is really important. How will you know you are successful? So I asked her that. How will you know you've been successful when you posted this YouTube video? Well, I won't feel afraid. I'll feel good about it. She posted it. And instead of being insecure, because we worked through it, she felt excited. So how will you know you've been successful? And if you need to dive deeper, what is that, what does success mean to you? Because you might say, well, if I reach out to that person who's been on my mind about being a client, I know I'll be successful. And that success is for you. I invite you to say that success is you getting outside your comfort zone. So that's my steps. 


    Lesley Logan 34:02  

    Super cool. I also like figuring out, I like that her version of success wasn't like, I'll get 2000 subscribers. It was how she would feel and I think that's the most like that's a really great takeaway. This is really fun. Thank you, Mary, so much for having us here. Y'all, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Make sure you tag Mary, tag the Be It Pod, share this with a friend who needs to hear it because there's some nuggets in here that maybe someone in your life has just been like nagging at and just overdoing things and maybe just needed to be reminded that there's a lot of places they can lead from doesn't have to be from the doing. So thank you, Mary, and until next time y'all, Be It Till You See It. 


    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 



    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 35:18  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 35:22  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 35:27  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 35:34  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


    Brad Crowell 35:37  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    35m - May 14, 2024
  • 366. The Truth About Taking Our Business to Another Level

    What does it take to elevate your professional aspirations? Hear how Lesley Logan and her partner Brad capitalize on their experience at a unique business retreat designed to expand their professional and personal scope. Learn about the significance of community and mutual learning in reaching significant business milestones. Gain insights on the benefits of stepping out of your comfort zone and into a space of growth and development.



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • The long-term benefits when you choose rest over work during illness. 
    • Automating financial tracking to better manage business goals. 
    • The role of stepping into challenging environments for business growth.
    • Embracing one's uniqueness to enhance self-esteem and authenticity.


    Episode References/Links:

     

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

     

    DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

     

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

     

     

    Resources:

     

    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 


    Brad Crowell 0:01  

    Fuck yeah.


    Lesley Logan 0:02  

    Get ready for some wins. 


    Lesley Logan 0:05  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

      


    Lesley Logan 0:46  

    Hello, Be It babe, how are you? Happy Friday. So today I'm actually in Connecticut in an incredible room, which I'll talk about with you in just a moment when I get to my wins. But first, I'm going to celebrate your wins. But in case this is your first time being to the Be It Pod, the reason I do this short episode every single Friday, is not as a brag sesh, it is a way for us all to take a moment to see that if you are having a down day you can hear other people's wins and realize like, there's room for you. There's no abundance pie that like every person gets a slice in yours, you get the leftovers. We are actually all surrounded by things we have been able to do that our wins and shit that's not going well. But if we only focus on the shit, then guess what you feel like you're just about shit. If you focus on what you're winning, you can actually see that there's a possibility, a path forward for you. And when you see other people having wins, it really does affect you in the most amazing, amazing, amazing way because you can celebrate their wins, you are creating space for your own as well. You know, it's not the cliche of like just women supporting women. It's like holy fuck, that's a win for them, I had that win yesterday. Sometimes we don't see our own wins until we see it in someone else. So that's why we do these. So I share a win of yours and a win of mine, and then we have an affirmation. 


    Lesley Logan 2:00  

    So, Ainsley Walker. I'm getting lots of great mat work practicing with different eLevate members and having fun exploring each move and geeking out. It's wonderful. Really starting to question my time, how and what I do with it, wanting to explore this more, meeting my own needs of what that means. I have another head cold, second one this month, but only the second in two years. Rather than battle through I cancelled my clients this morning to take the pressure off so I can still go and meet two friends and Pilates people in London later. But what was such a win was I didn't procrastinate over should I? Shouldn't I? I just knew I needed a chilled morning so I could show up for my classes tomorrow. Made an appointment to see a nutritionist who was also an eLevate member, being clear with people and clients this week and adhering to my boundaries both personally and professionally, and signed up for the local village fair again this year. This time will write down all the steps needed to prep for it and gather help. Excited for the lighter, longer days. 


    Lesley Logan 2:00  

    So do you hear how many wins she's got in there? She was able to celebrate a win in a head cold. And also really evaluate her time, that is a win. I know I'm guilty of this where like I'm like, oh my god, I'm wasting some time or I don't like how I fit in this time and then we get hard on ourselves instead of going what a win. I am thinking about how I want to spend my time better. So, so proud of you, Ainsley. Way to go. You've been in Agency for a while and I love having you in eLevate. I know the other eLevators are loving it too. 


    Lesley Logan 3:20  

    Okay, Stacey Extence, she's an Agency member, we've known her for many, many years even before she was a Pilates teacher and I love seeing her name in the wins section. So here we go. I'm making steps towards having a Joe's Gym class. I'm teaching a mother/daughter duet. Mother is intro system and daughter is a more advanced practitioner but 33 weeks pregnant. So I'm teaching them at the same time but on different equipment and at different capacities. I've been learning a lot about teaching someone who's pregnant, each week watching classes about prenatal and postnatal clients. After the first lesson last week I learned that I can vocalize multiple exercises to the daughter so that she was moving more and not doing too many reps of one exercise. The second lesson which happened last night went so much better with that slight adjustment. They booked their next lesson with me and I'm thrilled with this chance to help them further their Pilates journey. I'm also thrilled that they're helping me on my teaching journey. That's right, Stacey. For those who don't know what Joe's Gym is, it's basically just an open type of Pilates class. We teach this a lot and for Agency members, it's something I teach my eLevate members to do because it actually is a great way, it's a great skill set to have as a teacher, you can actually help couples or friends who are at different levels or needs in their life at the same time without having dozens of the same piece of equipment. 


    Lesley Logan 4:29  

    Last one is Ali. She's an Agency member. I realized that I had a target monthly earnings goal and whilst I haven't made it consistently, I missed celebrating the month when I earned it. The win here is twofold. One, to celebrate. Two, I've now caught up with my accounting and there's an automated report in Xero. So I can see at a glance the numbers! Going to track this! Next step is usage report. Congratulations, Ali. Oh my gosh, congratulations. This is so important, you guys. One, I love this. I have to highlight this because she didn't celebrate what happened. So even though it didn't happen this month, she celebrated when it did happen, like, way to go. And also, guys, the more you can know your numbers loves, the better it is. And so there is a sales number, which is what most people focus on. But usage is so important. And we'll talk about this inside of Agency. And so because usage is actually how you know you have sales coming in and people always like, I have to have a membership to have automated income. No, you don't. No, you don't. I have an automated income without ever having a membership for my clients. And there's so many reasons why I wouldn't let people have a membership for brick and mortar. 


    Lesley Logan 5:27  

    All right, a win of mine. So this is an interesting win because it's happening as we speak, as I like, talk to you, I'm putting myself in this room with a bunch of other business owners and the purpose of this, this particular one, the way we put ourselves in, is to really take our business to another level that we've achieved most of the goals that we've had for ourselves, maybe not in the timeline that we wanted, but we have this bigger goal of ourselves, and I'll share that goal with you later on down the road. I'm not gonna share with you now. But just know that this particular goal is requiring Brad and I to become an elevated version of ourselves and we are truly being it until we see it as we're doing this. We're putting in the cell ourselves in this room. That is scary. Because it's interesting to think about something that both you want and holy moly, how am I going to get there? Like, it's one of those like, who am I to have this goal? And it also sometimes can be intimidating because sometimes I'm like that I'm just a Pilates instructor, you know, and I have to remind myself that I'm not just anything. And in this room, while I may be the Pilates instructor, and I may not know the answers to the questions I'm asking, I actually know a ton about the answers to the questions that they're asking. And I have both the pros and cons of everything we've done that I love to share to the Agency members, I'm putting myself in this room where I'm like, I might be the weird one. I might be the weird one. But also like, I'm gonna benefit from this space and get the answers to my questions. And people benefit from me being in that space too, because I can provide my gifts. And so this is one of those wins, where I'm celebrating the act of doing something really, really scary. And it doesn't, it's not actually finished yet, this particular be it till you see it moment is going to be years long. Hopefully not year long, but years long. And it's really challenging to become a different leader, a different boss, a different teacher, a different friend, a different wife, a different co-worker, like all of these things, and making changes like that in a business and in your life are hard. So hard. But I'm super excited to make them and I'm super excited to be in this room and I can't wait to share with you what I've learned as I'm able to. So how's that for a win? Is that a fun win? Again here to share with you like wins or not, I made $11,000 in one post on social media, which by the way is probably like, not even true. 


    Lesley Logan 7:55  

    Okay, so, all right, the affirmation for us to repeat. My weirdness is wonderful. My weirdness is wonderful. My weirdness is wonderful. My dear, your weirdness is wonderful. My weirdness is wonderful. We are all, we're like weird in the best ways and so may you be weird. May you celebrate your wins. Send them to us so we can share them on the Be It Pod and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 8:20  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 

     


    Lesley Logan 8:49  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 9:04  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 9:09  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 9:13  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 9:20  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


    Brad Crowell 9:23  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    9m - May 10, 2024
  • 365. How to Persist When Failure Seems Like a Stop Sign

    Brad Crowell and Lesley Logan share enlightening takeaways from confidence expert Simone in this compelling episode. They explore how confidence can be intentionally built through facing challenges and adopting actionable strategies. Tune in to learn about embracing failures, transforming mindsets, and using these experiences to cultivate a more confident and self-loving approach to life.



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Failure is a pathway to growth and a valuable learning experience.
    • Cultivating a positive mindset to fuel actions and attract success. 
    • The importance of regularly asking yourself what you truly want in life.  
    • Why acceptance and self-love is the foundation for true confidence. 


    Episode References/Links:

     

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

     

    DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

     

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

     

     

    Resources:

     

    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    She actually believes that failure is actually an important part of how we grow and it's not a stop sign I love that failure is actually not a stop sign of some people come like we'll have an obstacle on the go oh, this is a sign that I'm not supposed to doing the thing? No, it's actually the thing you have to learn how to overcome to get to the next bucket level sometimes. Welcome to the be it till you see it podcast, where we talk about taking messy action knowing that perfect is boring. I must say Logan Paul is instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained 1000s of people around the world. And the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week my guests will bring bold executable intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it it's a practice not a perfect LET'S GET STARTED Welcome back to the beat till you see it interview recap where my co host and life Brad and I are going to dig into the positively competent combo I had with Simone Cunego in our last episode if you haven't yet listened to that one you should listen to it now. I'm gonna say positively competent combo I had with Simone Cunego did get on that can we just say that those words together positively competent combo with Simone Koneko. Like there's it's like one of those like, She sells seashells down by the seashore. I know you should have heard me yesterday when I was filming tutorials for the barrel stack okay, I had to keep saying see shaper. See shaper see shaper and it was really hard not to say shaper. Like you will say like you say it like I'm Leslie Logan here to talk about criss cross on the sea shaper and then it's like the C shape or the t shirt you just keep saying it starts to blend into su words. Hi guys anyways, today


    Brad Crowell 1:59  

    it was a third take through that intro by the way.


    Lesley Logan 2:02  

    I was reading the wrong one slang. It's okay listen to the outtakes at the end. You'll hear it out here. So today is May 9 And it's all last sock Memorial Day. This is when you do due to or what's a memorial song?


    Brad Crowell 2:18  

    Do I have no idea what immortal Okay,


    Lesley Logan 2:21  

    so the origin of last sock Memorial Day is as big a mystery as the whereabouts are the socks. The day is meant to memorialize. But socks have been around for centuries. And it's clear Americans love their socks and 2018 in the US alone we purchased over $11 billion in socks. Most men wear socks every day including those particularly fashionable guys who wear socks with sandals Brad what hardly oh my gosh, you guys are ugly. We're so lucky. We know he wears socks with his sandals all all the time his socks and stocks all the time. So I believe rock industry continues to grow in sales and expand in variety. Gone are the days of the one color one style sock Hello


    Brad Crowell 2:57  

    Who does that boring


    Lesley Logan 2:58  

    I know I'm back to crew socks that I love it. Today socks are multiple purposes and are manufactured perform based on neat of course the dress the trouser sock is neutral colors exist for professionals, or fancy occasions for the markets for fun and functional socks are making a name for themselves. There are themed graphics like it keeps going I have Star Wars I'm going to skip to the end. So apparently they did a survey. And it said that the average person loses 1.3 SOCKS per month what that is over 15 SOCKS per person per year. So you can see that this is universally hits home and it causes us all distress when sock goes missing major distress. In fact, today we stand together to pay tribute to our deeply departed socks and this is where the song would come on. And


    Brad Crowell 3:42  

    it would be amazing because it causes so much stress that I decided with the help of my favorite chat bot to write an ode to my last suck. Okay, so here we go Jeffro should be singing this Oh noble sock, vanishing into the abyss of the laundry is dark realm. Once snugly paired now solitary you wander alone, a solitary helm in the labyrinth of mismatched pairs your absence leaves a longing overwhelm


    Lesley Logan 4:14  

    long and overwhelmed. That's how it finished up on chat TV.


    Brad Crowell 4:18  

    Ah Hey, who said that?


    Lesley Logan 4:21  

    I don't know who your favorite is. I that's what I know. That's all you guys I don't even I don't even use a chatbot I don't I don't use I don't have any AI. That's what my team is for. Okay, back to the regular scheduled program upcoming events and travel get ready get your get your pen and paper out and paper out OPC summer camp is less than a month away June one and we are hoping for the biggest biggest summer camp Edberg. If you don't have to attend live you can watch the replays. So what you can do to go is go to opc.me/events OPC that means slash events plural and you will see we have 14 events and you can buy them ala carte. You can buy a day pass or you buy both day passes. The savings is On the day pass, I will tell you that at any rate, I'm teaching one event and we have 13 other teachers from around the world. I'm so excited. We have a variety of classes and workshops and all different pieces of equipment, spinning different topics we've got, like Heather Ingram is doing Empower Matt. It's a resiliency mat class for those who have who had breast cancer or have are going through it. I'm super excited about that. We have Aaron Donohue doing a pelvic floor mat class. Super stoked about that. We also have workshops on knee pain, we have one a chair class, a couple reformer classes, a Tower of Power with the head tower power, happy hour with Lisa, I can keep going, it's gonna be great. We have 1414. So seven classes, seven workshops, over two days, come alive for the party. Watch the replays whenever you want. But you got to buy them before they go into full price. I'm just saying. So obviously that means slash events June 1 And second is going to be when we go live. Yeah.


    Brad Crowell 5:58  

    And if you sign up for any of them, whether you pick ala carte, or you buy the full day pass, you actually have access to the replay indefinitely. Yeah. in perpetuity, in perpetuity forever ever. For Finiti Cambodia


    Lesley Logan 6:15  

    earlybird is happening as this is happening. So if you are on the waitlist, got the email, and if you aren't on the waitlist, you don't get it. So you have to wait. Well,


    Brad Crowell 6:24  

    if you want to get on the waitlist right now go to Leslie logan.co/retreats. With portal that's plural. So that's


    Lesley Logan 6:31  

    gonna be our February event because October is very sold out. Yeah, first of all down super not an option. So February


    Brad Crowell 6:39  

    in and yeah, February, we're gonna go the 25th I think for 23 to 28, something like that. It's the end of Feb. It's


    Lesley Logan 6:46  

    after it's after the Lunar New Year. So you know, we'll be past the high season of travel and


    Brad Crowell 6:52  

    it's gonna be great. I'm really, really fired up and we're gonna have an amazing group at that point in the year as well. Next up, we got Summer Tour summer.


    Lesley Logan 7:01  

    We are doing a summer tour. We're not doing the West Coast tour. This time we're doing the summer we're doing I don't know it was the Midwest. Yeah. And I'm super excited because I've been back to Milwaukee since 2018. I


    Brad Crowell 7:12  

    know it's been a minute and in fact, you've never done Minnesota and we're looking at I've never been to Minnesota. I got locked in. It's not confirmed yet, but we're working on it literally right now.


    Lesley Logan 7:22  

    We're gonna get back to Chicago for the first time since 2018.


    Brad Crowell 7:25  

    Yeah, this time we're gonna hit Cleveland, but on the summer tour, and then we're gonna go south back through the Midwest. So we're looking at like, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Kansas City. Yeah, we're even looking at Colorado Springs, y'all.


    Lesley Logan 7:41  

    Yeah. So at any rate, you want to go to opc.me/door? Yeah, get


    Brad Crowell 7:45  

    yourself on the waitlist for the tour. We're going to start talking about it and opening up the doors for that in earnest after summer camp. So yeah, first is summer camp. After that. We'll do the Summer Tour. Yeah.


    Speaker 1 7:55  

    Barrels flashcard. Oh, my goodness. So actually


    Brad Crowell 7:59  

    lots of progress.


    Lesley Logan 8:00  

    Here's the thing. This might be the last chance get on the waitlist, because based on one's is coming out and our presale is very, very, very sorted. It could be happening as we speak. I'm not really certain on that. So here's the deal. You want to go to opc.me/flashcard waitlist, it's a lot. It's a mouthful. Ready. opc.me/flashcard waitlist, all in a word. So only people on the waitlist will get the presale price. The pre sale price is the best price you don't want to miss out on that.


    Brad Crowell 8:28  

    Oh, this is a new exciting news that les is looking at me like do we want to talk about this? Maybe maybe not.


    Lesley Logan 8:36  

    No, I'm skipping it. We're skipping it. There's other people who need to hear about that first. Okay.


    Brad Crowell 8:40  

    All right. Well, we have something very exciting, well, secret that we will share


    Lesley Logan 8:45  

    later. Because come back maybe next week, but not just me doing that.


    Brad Crowell 8:48  

    Alright, so lastly, but


    Lesley Logan 8:51  

    not leastly is the elevate my mentorship program for amazing teachers


    Brad Crowell 8:57  

    to say lastly, but not less late. Oh.


    Lesley Logan 9:01  

    All right. All right. So if you look at the OBC summer camp, all the teachers have been through my mentorship program. So they will to see how they teach and like their personalities and their styles. And I couldn't pick every grad. So for the grads listening, it's not like I skipped you. There. I only do so many. But I I was able to see the teaching, and I was able to at that time pick them. I'm not saying that. That's why you should elevate you should do elevate because it makes you fucking badass. Yeah, and I actually just got a message from one of our grads who was kind of treated like a little bit like crap at work. And she actually took a moment and asked for a meeting. And then she asked what she want that meeting. She got what she wanted that meeting and she was able to remember like a year before being so scared to have a meeting. And now she's like comparing herself to herself. It's like, I know I'm good. And so if you are wanting competence in your teaching and your power and your awesomeness, and you are already a comprehensively to mean teacher, go to Leslie logan.co/ew. Leslie Logan, that CEO slash Ew, that's going to get you on the waitlist. The people on the waitlist are the ones who and we invited to apply. And we're not probably doing applications until after summer camp to be completely honest. I'm I'm 100% positive about that. But we have to fill 2025 early so you guys can plan your life around this amazing experience. Yeah. And it's virtual my mentorship is virtual you can come in person around for is like all up a whole bunch of people out there all the time. I love it so much. So anyways,


    Brad Crowell 10:37  

    we also people who are all over the world as literally not an option to come in person. So yeah, it was designed to be virtual. Just we got a couple of people who were like, Can I drop in?


    Lesley Logan 10:45  

    And then we're like, Sure. And then people just keep coming. And now it's like, it's amazing. We know a guy named Kevin around the corner who Airbnbs his place. So we met Kevin, we don't we actually have never met Kevin but okay, so we thought we gotta get into some Alan. But before we do that, do we have an audience? Question?


    Brad Crowell 11:02  

    We sure do. This is from Daniella on Instagram, on the ad G. Is there a cheap reformer that you can recommend? Dr. Leslie? No, there isn't.


    Lesley Logan 11:15  

    There's not there is not there isn't? Here's the deal. If you are looking for appeal applies equipment you can afford. Check out a window chair, check out a spine corrector check out the ControlLogix line. The spine corrector is about $700 When a chair I want to say is like 1200 and might be a little bit better. Look, I don't know what the price is already done this exact moment. But yes, that's still expensive. But it is a piece of code that doesn't take up a lot of space. You can have an amazing workout on it. It will support your mat practice. And it's not for


    Brad Crowell 11:41  

    rolling it around. It doesn't break either. Yeah. You


    Lesley Logan 11:45  

    know, and so the best performer is a ControlLogix reformer. And then there's other reforms that are also amazing. But any reformer, that's really going to get you the results you want isn't me over $3,000 I'm sorry. I hate to break it to you. That's just how it goes. They're hard to make they have hundreds of parts. Like it's just a complicated and when there is a cheaper form are out there that you're seeing, like Costco or some like that, it's probably doesn't have springs, it probably doesn't have the weight limit. Most easel springs, right? It's not going to have the foot bar that moves around. So check out my video on YouTube about choosing a home or farmer and you will hear why I cannot tell you about a cheaper farmer that I would ever recommend. Yeah,


    Brad Crowell 12:27  

    so just go to a search lesson Logan home reformer or we'll put it in the show. It's


    Lesley Logan 12:34  

    a YouTube video. So thank you for your question, Daniela. I'm so sorry. I'm the bearer of bad news. But also, you know what one of my clients she has a tower and a wooden chair in her entryway of her townhouse. And she's had an a spine corrector now she misses reformer. Absolutely. She actually doesn't have space for it. So this is what we're doing. And it's really quite exciting. You'd be surprised what you can get out of having a spine Correct. I have another client that I teach online who only has a mat and I want to cheer and you know, like it's great. It's amazing. We work out every week together. So anyway, thanks for asking good questions. Send your questions in via pod we will answer them here and and that's that's that heard it


    Brad Crowell 13:14  

    here first, peeps. Okay. Now let's talk about Simone. Can I go Simone, a keynote speaker and author of the extraordinary an ordinary you is renowned for her journey from CPA to a dedicated advocate for women with experiences in teaching medical sales and charitable works. She uses her diverse background of inspire and empower confidence in others. Simona is also the host of the daughter dears podcast, furthering her impact on personal development. I just want to do a brag for Simone. She summited Mount Kilimanjaro. Kilimanjaro, the big one. It's pretty cool.


    Lesley Logan 13:50  

    It's really cool. Also, I was on the daughter ders podcast. So I would go listen to my episode. It's a great way to break into the daughter dears podcast, I look got to talk to her daughter Olivia. And, and also Simone and Nate has asked really great questions, and we had a really great conversation. So highly recommend that you go listen to that episode. And then you can see if you really like it. I think her podcasts is really great. I love this a mother daughter podcast, and they talk about really amazing things someone has just, she's also just freaking cool. And she has the coolest tennis shoes. Oh, it just came out. Yeah, it just came out


    Brad Crowell 14:28  

    the episode. I'm gonna put the I'm going to put the link to that in the show notes.


    Lesley Logan 14:33  

    While he's doing that. Here's the deal. I loved that she is a very big believer that it's okay to change your mind. I think that's really something we we I for fucking sure have a really hard time doing this. Brad has been the reason why all like, he taught me how to cancel plans. He's like I said, but we told him to do that. He's like, Well, we changed our mind. We can't we're not or we aren't doing the thing that was over there. So we can't do the thing with them that's over there. So it's gonna have Change. And I'm like, oh my god, people get mad. So anyways, I just absolutely love that she, that she said this. And I think it's a great point for all of us. But until I see it people to remember that it's okay to change your mind. And trying different things also means that she has to fail and some of it and I think that that's also a really cool thing, you're gonna fail forward, really, especially if you learn from it. She actually believes that failure is actually an important part of how we grow. And it's not a stop sign. I love that. Failure is actually not a stop sign of some people come like we'll have an obstacle on the go, oh, this is a sign that I'm so busy doing the thing? No, it's actually the thing you have to learn how to overcome to get to the next fucking level, sometimes, you know what I mean? People Oh, door closed at the sign of necessity after that thing. You know what I mean? It's like, no one thinks about that with dating. By the way, no one goes up that day, it was honestly me alone for my date set. So that means I'm not meant to be with anybody. You know what I mean? But we think about that with anything that we want to do in our life, or like, Oh, no one responded to my post. So I'm not good enough, whatever. And it's like that, what are you talking about? These are not stop signs. These are just feedback. And she also mentioned that we should embrace failure. And to understand failures don't equal your worth. I love this. Because all the people that we admire, who are amazing business, people, whatever, they all fail on a lot of things. One of our coaches, literally coaches, people on book titles, and all these things. And he talks endlessly about how he titled one of his books terribly wrong.


    Brad Crowell 16:36  

    And he argued, he argued for this title that he has now concluded later is terribly wrong. It's terribly wrong. Like he was convinced this is going to be the best amazing title ever.


    Lesley Logan 16:48  

    Yeah, more or less. And so but he has used it as a way to help others not have that same thing. So it's kind of we, you know, these fail, we should call them other things. This is some words that need rebranding. And failure is one of them. It's a sliding step. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not the marketing people here. But I'm just saying it needs a new thing. Well, I'll your needs a PR person,


    Brad Crowell 17:17  

    we need a PR person for failure. Alright, here's what I really loved. She was talking about Kilimanjaro. Actually, really, really fascinating side note, she said that we apparently have 6000, roughly 6000 thoughts a day and 80% of them are negative what the eff


    Lesley Logan 17:33  

    I know. And also most of them are repetitive. They're the same thoughts as before. I'm like, who's counting these thoughts? Ding, ding. And also, do you ever wonder like, okay, as the overachiever in the room, the recovering one? I'm like, a bit, you have more?


    Brad Crowell 17:49  

    A bit, you have more negative thoughts than you know,


    Lesley Logan 17:52  

    I'm not. I'm not fighting for those. But that's funny.


    Brad Crowell 17:55  

    She said, when she was climbing Kilimanjaro. First off, it was like, a process to even get there and the mental battle to you know, write off the people who are who are basically challenging her. Or do you think you're actually going to make it? You know, like, yeah, I fucking do. Why do you think I'm going to I'm just going to do this. So I can go to the base. But


    Lesley Logan 18:16  

    what needs me fucking train on proper responses in life? Just yeah, that's here's the thing. When someone gets married, you don't have to ask them if they're having a baby. When someone said they're gonna climb a mountain. You don't have to ask them. Do you think you're gonna fucking finish it? Yeah, what happens? If


    Brad Crowell 18:30  

    you follow? It says I'm going to open a Pilates studio. Do your friends go? Really? That's so risky. Are you going to do that? Yeah. Well, yes. If they say that,


    Lesley Logan 18:37  

    then and it's one or the other. If that is you, if I just said, if I just said a response that you think you've done, first of all, give yourself permission to never do it again. And also let it go. You did it and now you know better. But it I get it. Like I have a girlfriend who I just was having coffee with and she has a four year old. And there is a part of me that wants to know, does she want to have another guess what I didn't do ask? I kept it to my fucking cell. If she wants to tell me if she's having another, she will tell me. It's not my business. That's fun. Anyways, well,


    Brad Crowell 19:08  

    so she she was talking about while she was climbing Kilimanjaro. She was actually having this internal argument with herself. And she had to, you know, continue to encourage her own self and challenge herself while she was climbing the hill, y'all. And she said, when you once you got back home, it was really exhilarating. You know, it was quite a moment that she could be proud of. And she said, the challenge of it was something that she isn't going to forget she see challenged us to find our own Kilimanjaro and in a figurative sense, not necessarily a literal sense. Although, if any of you decide to go climb Kilimanjaro, tell us because we will cheer you along. There'll be also


    Lesley Logan 19:55  

    the other Kilimanjaro climber we've had because now we've had to Jen


    Brad Crowell 19:59  

    Did she climb a clique is Kilimanjaro the second highest? So yeah, it's


    Lesley Logan 20:03  

    okay to see we have had to I remember on her first attempt, two people died. Yeah. So she turned around, turn around. And then she did it again. She actually did it again. But guess what she's doing? She's creating a like retreat of some kind where you will climb with her? Oh, wow. And I was like, wow. And she's like, Yeah, are you in and I was like, probably not. So excited for you, and everyone is doing it with you, because I'm gonna go with Simone and find my own Kilimanjaro. When I'm on my own. I'm gonna say, owning the businesses we have feels like fucking climbing Kilimanjaro every day. So I'm good. Note it. I got it. Well, you


    Brad Crowell 20:45  

    know, she actually said it was not part of her bucket list. And she did it as part of a charity work to raise money for the LIVESTRONG Foundation. And people asked her what it would feel like if she didn't reach the summit. And she said, honestly, it wasn't about reaching the summit for her. It was the mindset that got her there. Like I was saying one step at a time continuing to encourage yourself, she did talk herself up, not down so many times during the climb due to self doubt. Right, and then having summitted Kilimanjaro and surmounted her negative self talk, that's why she's encouraging everyone to go find their own Kilimanjaro because it was a challenge. And it was it was probably quite scary. And you know, what a conversation we're having in your head, if you actually do doubt yourself making it to the top? Well, I just think is great, though. Because you know, and you're Kilimanjaro doesn't have to be an extra. It doesn't have to be physical. It could be, you know, Kilimanjaro, it could be weighing nice to that person who's consistently an asshole to you. You know, it could be, it could be right. Like, I said, I'm not, I'm not a parent. So I don't have to go to like PTA meetings. I don't have to go to soccer games to stay on the sidelines.


    Lesley Logan 21:59  

    We gotta dig neighbor that we have to like we do. Yeah, that's my mountain calling drought.


    Brad Crowell 22:04  

    I'm still working on that. There's,


    Lesley Logan 22:07  

    there's like, Okay, you guys, when we walk past this one house, also passes one house is the view of a building that shall remain nameless, because I envision the name of this building, burning off the building every single day. And so maybe my mountain Kilimanjaro is just not noticed these two things that I have to walk past, that might be it. Or maybe it's just like not having negative thoughts while I do it. But at any rate, find your own. Ask us later, if we found ours, that can be a question you ask. And


    Brad Crowell 22:36  

    like I said before, you know whether it's literal Kilimanjaro or figured out if you've got something that you are going to tackle, and you want us to cheer you on. Tell us Yeah,


    Lesley Logan 22:46  

    well, and also you can send us your wins when you do because we have an FY EPS but and I just want to reiterate, she was focusing on overcoming her negative thoughts to get her up there to talk herself up, like you said, it's okay to talk yourself up.


    Brad Crowell 22:59  

    Yeah,


    Lesley Logan 23:00  

    I think it's really important. And also, like Brad said, we want to cheer you on. If you don't ask us to cheer you on. That's totally fine, not offended. But tell people in your life, this is really important to me, and how you react to me doing this thing is also really important to me, you know, Brené Brown, as the person who taught me the people whose opinions of you matter, they should know that their opinions of you matter. Yeah. And so if you have someone in your life who you love, and whenever you tell him, you're doing something that scares you, they kind of shit around it, then you need to have a talk with them. It says, When I tell you what I'm excited about. And we you respond with doubt. It's really hard for me to stay excited. So I would really love it. If when I say something that I'm excited about that you just say I'm excited for you. And then take your fears and talk to your other friend about it.


    Brad Crowell 23:53  

    Or another time not in the moment. Yeah,


    Lesley Logan 23:55  

    yeah. Yeah. Cuz, you know, they think they're being curious, but their curiosity is actually


    Brad Crowell 24:00  

    negative shanks. Yeah, um, you


    Lesley Logan 24:04  

    know, Dr. Pepper, no, Sprite. We don't do those things around here. Okay, let's go to those be. At least a Dr. Pepper is better. I still haven't had you know, I haven't had soda since I was 18 years old.


    Brad Crowell 24:16  

    Oh, really? Yeah. That's impressive. I've definitely had soda since I know it's terrible for you. Yeah. I mean, I don't have it all the time.


    Lesley Logan 24:23  

    It doesn't even matter. It's like it clears off battery acid from a car you should not be drinking.


    Brad Crowell 24:30  

    This is true. It does that. All right. Finally let's talk about those be it action items what bold, executable intrinsic or targeted action items. Can we take away from your combo with Simone can Nago, she said that she uses affirmations on a daily basis. And then she told a really hilarious story about her daughter being like, I have nothing to be happy about today. And she was like, Oh, yes, you do. Let me tell you how. And then her daughter was like, I'm never telling that to you again. But


    Lesley Logan 24:56  

    you know what? Simone just was that guys That's an example of the response people in your life should be saying to you, yeah, when you're like, nobody likes me, you should have someone's like, Nope, this person, this person, this person, this person, last person. Somebody goes, oh my god, it's so true. No one likes you. Yeah, right.


    Brad Crowell 25:13  

    So right, everyone hates you.


    Lesley Logan 25:16  

    Yeah, you do. So did you know that this person also?


    Brad Crowell 25:22  

    She said, it's important that we constantly ask ourselves what we want, so that you can get what you need. Right? Because I think, you know, the two of you were talking about effectively, just doing life and being sucked into the whirlwind that I like to call the whirlwind. And there are times where we feel like we need to make a change to tackle something big, right? I've often over the years, I've had moments in my life where I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna have to kick it into high gear, right? And and that might be for the next six months, or whatever it might be right? And she said, we kind of forget to change it up. We just get stuck in this thing. So whether that is oh,


    Lesley Logan 26:08  

    you You mean, you're like the truck that just gets the press accelerate just floors it and yeah.


    Brad Crowell 26:16  

    lived at one of those trucks. The Tesla, the Tesla truck,


    Lesley Logan 26:20  

    they're called something else. They're called. This has happened, guys. So obviously, you're gonna know when we did this, but it's called the


    Brad Crowell 26:26  

    cyber truck, the cyber, the cyber truck has flopped and just issued a recall shocking, because the accelerator literally gets stuck to the floor, and then it's stuck in high that is accelerated.


    Lesley Logan 26:37  

    That's a lot of you, you guys get stuck. You like you.


    Brad Crowell 26:41  

    I mean, me too. I've done it too. Right. I


    Lesley Logan 26:42  

    do it all the time. But you're also Enneagram three. So that's true. But like, it's you forget that you also have another gear, which is called Slow? Well, it's not.


    Brad Crowell 26:52  

    It's not just that. But we when we kick into high gear, there's one consistent common factor that suffers and that is yourself. Because you're like, I don't need to deal with me right now I need to focus on this thing. I need to focus on my family, my daughter, my, you know, my partner is going through law school, whatever it is, right? And you're, you're shifting everything around to support this cause. And, you know, there comes a time where you're like, hey, wait a minute, you know, what do I actually want? Because it might be that the two of you or on a team or you know, there is this thing where you're consistently sacrificing, but you also need to make sure you're taking care of yourself. And if you don't ask yourself, what do I want? How are you going to know? Yeah, I thought about this when I was listening to the interview, you know, and I love running our company and traveling and all the things. And I asked myself, What do I want? And I like literally the answer was instantaneous sleep. You know, and so it's like, okay, maybe I need to be more intentional about sleep. And then I won't. That won't be my guttural response


    Lesley Logan 28:01  

    on something else. Yeah, yeah, they're gonna want something else. Yeah. So anyway,


    Brad Crowell 28:05  

    ask yourself, what do you want? Right? And, yeah,


    Unknown Speaker 28:10  

    well, I'll go Yeah, go.


    Lesley Logan 28:12  

    So she said, respect your reflections. We need to learn to love the woman or the man or the person in the mirror, like


    Brad Crowell 28:21  

    the reflection asleep.


    Lesley Logan 28:22  

    Know what I need to know. No, no, no, no. Literal reflections, your literal reflection,


    Brad Crowell 28:28  

    okay, literal reflection.


    Lesley Logan 28:29  

    So she wants us to be who we are. So that when we look in the mirror, the first thing we see is what we actually love. And that's us. It's ourselves. And the truth is, is that so many of us are comparing ourselves to others. When we're actually looking in the mirror. We're comparing ourselves, you know, to like something unattainable, and then we're nitpicking. And really, it's just like, get it just focus. Like yeah, to love the person. And you're always love


    Speaker 1 28:52  

    the one you're with. Yeah. Love the one. You wasted something earlier that that was a better so I love the one we're looking at in the mirror. Yeah, no,


    Lesley Logan 29:01  

    that was not the song either. There was another song earlier. I don't remember. It'll come back. Oh, you said we don't get as we want. We ate and I was like, we can't I hate that song. When you get it. You can't always get what you want on. And he just keeps repeating that, but I


    Brad Crowell 29:19  

    just my he gave me


    Lesley Logan 29:24  

    like, oh my god, what was that music? Good. Anyway, Simone, You're fabulous. Thank you for teaching us all. Oh, I missed this part.


    Brad Crowell 29:32  

    This is important. This is important. Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 29:34  

    She said that 20% of people are born with confidence. So 80% of us have to work with it. If you're listening to this, and you're like, I'm struggle with confidence. It's because you're probably part of the 80%. And so we'll work on it. And Simone with her Mount Kilimanjaro situation, that's how she was able to she committed to something and she did the thing. And she that's


    Brad Crowell 29:53  

    coaches, women on Khan competence.


    Lesley Logan 29:55  

    She literally said when were with her last week, she said women instead of asking for a raise, we'll just look for another job. And really, competence comes like ask for the raise, even if you don't get it like the girl I've talked about earlier about Elevate, she like went in there and she asked what she wanted. And what I saw when I saw the video telling me about it was she was so fucking competent because she did the thing, right? The things that scare us or the things like put us in a confident bucket. So just go do that. All right, Melissa Logan, and I'm Brad Crawley. Thank you so much for listening, or watching or how are reading this? I don't know how you're doing it. Anyway, we're so grateful for you. This is due here. This is episode 365 Holy cow, holy cow. We're here because of you. And if it's your first time, we're still here because of you. Well, thank you so much for being here. Make sure you share this podcast with a friend who needs to hear it. And until next time, be it Titus yet bye for now. That's all I got for this episode of the bee until you see a podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the beat pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it help us and others be it till you see it. Have an awesome day. Be it till you see it is a production of the bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read another episode you can text us at plus 1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram at Viet pot. It's


    Brad Crowell 31:31  

    written filmed and recorded by your host Leslie Logan and me Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 31:36  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team had to send you Dotco our


    Brad Crowell 31:41  

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    32m - May 9, 2024
  • 364. How to Build Confidence From the Inside Out

    Lesley Logan hosts Simone Knego for an in-depth discussion on the often-overlooked impact of societal pressures on self-esteem and how to counteract these negative influences. She delves into the importance of embracing failures as growth opportunities, utilizing positive affirmations to bolster self-worth and the crucial practice of loving oneself. Simone also highlights the importance of regularly questioning personal desires to truly understand one's needs, offering strategies for listeners to build a resilient, confident identity amidst external expectations.



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    In this episode you will learn about:

    • How to view failures not as setbacks but as essential growth opportunities.
    • Strategies for shifting your mindset to overcome negative talk and self-doubt.
    • The role of positive affirmations in strengthening self-esteem and confidence.
    • Simone’s 3 tools that can help build and sustain inner confidence every day.
    • How respecting your own reflections can enhance self-awareness and acceptance. 


    Episode References/Links:


    Guest Bio:

    Simone Knego is an international speaker and award-winning author of the best-selling book, "The Extraordinary UnOrdinary You." She is a two-time TEDx Speaker, and her work has been featured on ABC, NBC, and CBS and in Entrepreneur Magazine and Yahoo News. Her literary contributions have been honored by the National Indie Excellence Award and the NYC Big Book Award. Simone has not only summited Mt. Kilimanjaro, but she is also the heart of a bustling household with six children, three dogs, and one husband of 30 years. As the creator of the REAL Method, Simone continues to inspire and impact teams, fostering growth, and promoting self-discovery. 

     

     

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    Episode Transcript:

    Simone Knego 0:00  

    I think people who are confident from the inside out, they are able to compromise, they are able to see when they've made mistakes. They're able to admit when they've made mistakes. They celebrate their victories but they also celebrate when they figured out that they did something wrong and they can fix it. 


    Lesley Logan 0:22  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

      


    All right, Be It Babe. Hello, welcome back. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being awesome. My goodness, I can't believe how long we've been doing this podcast and the time of recording this intro I just recently saw several of you listeners in real life. And I got to hear your favorite takeaways in person. Also, like the quotes you were saying. And some of you have listened to the episodes two times, and I just want to say like that means so much to me. When I started this podcast, because I really wanted to help women really, truly understand how amazing you already are. And for you to find that inner confidence. And so what I'm so excited about with today's guest is she really is going to help you tap into your bold confidence. And she hasn't the most interesting take on it that I have not heard. And so her name is Simone Knego. I happen to know her in real life. And she's just amazing. And when I, when I am with her in person, like there's just something about her that like you're drawn to listening to her. She's so thoughtful and insightful. As you will listen to her on this podcast, I think you will also get that as well. She's got some amazing tips for helping you find your inner confidence, which is like the true confidence. Talk about like, confidence on the outside, confidence on the inside. And I just think this is gonna be a really wonderful conversation for you to listen to, and probably save it and listen to it again. So Simone, thank you for being here. Y'all, here she is. And I can't wait to hear your favorite takeaways. 


    All right, Be It babe. I'm so excited because I have a wonderful woman here. I remember, when I first met her, we actually hadn't met yet. I heard her introduce herself. I was like, this woman is a badass, she is doing amazing things. And I really was excited to get to know her more. And I've been lucky enough to see her in person a couple of times and also be on her amazing podcast. Simone Knego, thank you so much for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?


    Simone Knego 3:07  

    Absolutely. First, thank you so much for having me here today. I'm excited to be here. And same thing I when I first heard you speak, I was like, okay, this woman is amazing. Want to get to know her better. First and foremost, I'm a mom of six. I have been married to my husband for almost 31 years. I am a keynote speaker, author and podcast host and I love what I'm doing.


    Lesley Logan 3:22  

    Oh my gosh, 30 years of marriage and six kids and a podcast host, and I mean, you've also like climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, you've written books like you've been on TEDx twice. So we can go a lot of different ways, I guess. I'd love to hear like, what got you started in doing what you're doing to do always work for yourself? Are you always interested in helping people? Or did you do something before this and it kind of led to what you're doing now?


    Simone Knego 3:51  

    So I'm a big believer that it's okay to change your mind. I have tried many things over my life. I started out as a certified public accountant. That was what I got my degree in. And the reason I got an accounting degree, I have a Bachelor's and Master's in accounting was because I failed organic chemistry and then got us D at the second time, and that was the end of like med school. So I had to move on and so.


    Lesley Logan 4:18  

    Med school drop out to CPA. 


    Simone Knego 4:21  

    Yes. And I really wanted to act. But the words of my dad were while you live under my roof and I'm paying for your education, you're gonna get a real education, which means you're going to be an accountant because you're really good at math. Okay, great. Thank you. And realized quickly that I did not love accounting, so worked at it for a couple of years, had a horse farm, taught horseback riding lessons were at a summer camp, I did all kinds of stuff. And then I had kids. I went back to school to be a teacher because I figured I have six kids. I kind of have my own classroom might as well, put it to work in the real world. And unfortunately, as we know, teachers don't get paid enough for what they do. And I was paying my babysitter more than I was making. So that's when I went into medical sales. And then from there, I started speaking because I was asked to speak at some volunteer events through charitable organizations, and I fell in love with it. And that's when I realized I had a story.


    Lesley Logan 5:28  

    That's cool. Yeah, teachers don't get paid enough. We say this a lot. And also, like, I was also thinking, like, my goodness, you could go you take care of other people's kids all day long, and then you have a sick one at home, you're never getting a break so.


    Simone Knego 5:44  

    There was definitely no breaks happening there. But you know what, I love kids. So obviously I better, right? So it was fine. 


    Lesley Logan 5:51  

    Yeah, I think thank you for sharing like it's okay to change your mind. It's also okay to like dabble in things. I think so often people go, oh, that didn't work out. So I failed at that. And that didn't work out. I failed at that. And it's like, actually, you know, you get to know yourself. And I imagine that you use different skill sets from each, each different stint you had in what you're doing. 


    Simone Knego 6:12  

    I learned so much about myself by trying all these different things. And by failing at some of them, I mean, I think failure is actually an important part of how we grow. It's not a stop sign it is. Okay, try this next time. So, sometimes easier said than done, right? When you're in the moment of failure, it's a little bit difficult. But it's so important that we realize that it isn't something that should stop us forever. It should just say, Okay, that didn't work. What's next? 


    Lesley Logan 6:40  

    Yeah, I know, I it is very difficult when you're in it, like, you need someone around you, who also has that same mentality, to remind you that this is going to be a lesson that you're gonna learn from, it might be the best thing that ever happened to you. Doesn't feel good when you hear it, either, but like to get a reminder. Okay, so you got into speaking and you found you had a story to tell. I feel like a lot of people that first of all, their biggest fear is speaking in public. I know you had that acting love, but also like, was it easy for you to get into speaking? How did you take your story and put that out there because I feel like there's a big journey between like speaking efforts in charities and then doing TEDx. 


    Simone Knego 7:19  

    I think the more you do it, the more comfort just like anything, the more you do it, the more comfortable you feel, the more you're willing to put yourself out there. And really realizing that if my story can impact one person, it's worth it, it's worth standing on a stage and telling it and I've, I've changed even what I'm doing now. So now my speaking is really for women, women's groups all about overcoming self-doubt, building bold confidence from the inside out. Which, when we think of confidence, I think a lot of people will look at someone say, oh, my gosh, they're so confident, but are they really on the inside? Right? Is it just how they're portraying themselves? Or do they really feel good about themselves all the time? And it was a learning process to get up on that stage and just be okay with, you know, still gonna make mistakes on stage. I mean, that's life. And I'm big on just putting it out there. And I think it's good for people to see other people get up and try something that they maybe want to try. But they're too afraid to do it and then say, Oh, wait, they're human. It was still fine. It was great. I learned a lot. And yeah, they still messed up. They're great. 


    Lesley Logan 8:26  

    Yeah, there's a law that I'm forgetting. But Chelsea Peitz, a mutual friend of ours, she posted it. She did it in a speech. And it's like, actually, when people see someone, they look up to make a mistake, they don't go, oh, they're, they're a terrible person. They made a mistake. They actually go, oh, my God, they're human. And they trust you more. It's like this really interesting thing. Okay, so. So I want to dive into this bold confidence. And like, what is driving you to do this venture that you're working on, because you could do anything, and you could still have stuck with any of the things you've already done. So what made you want to dive into helping women specifically, have bold confidence?


    Simone Knego 9:05  

    So it really started with my journey to Kilimanjaro? Because I was someone who struggled for years to believe in myself, I really struggled with self-doubt. And looking back and I talk about this now and I write about this now, I had a really, mentally and physically abusive boyfriend when I was a teenager actually just did a podcast episode earlier this morning with my daughter about dating culture and what's okay and what's not okay, and the things that we don't talk about. But when I realized that that was really, it killed my self-esteem that it just brought me to the lowest levels. I didn't respect myself, I needed to build myself back up and it took years for me to talk about it for me to realize what had happened to me. And when I was asked to climb Kilimanjaro, it totally out of my wheelhouse. It's not something that was a bucket list item, but it was raising money for the Livestrong Foundation. So the philanthropic part made me very happy. And I was like, you know what, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this and I'm going to put everything in, I'm going to change my mindset, I'm going to believe in myself. And that change kind of started so many different things for me. 


    Lesley Logan 10:19  

    Thank you for sharing about your dating history. It's really interesting. Like, I think so many people, so many women get into relationships, and they do end up losing themselves because of it's embarrassing to talk about it, you're not really sure it was a red flag is that like, you know, there's all these different things. I have a beautiful girlfriend who's, who just recently went through a breakup and I was like, I was like, fully supportive. I was like, oh my gosh, whatever happened, like on your side. And then she told me all these things when I'm away. I'm like, I had no, I had no idea. If you'd told me one of these things had happened. I would have been like, girl, you okay? You know what, I think it's so easy. So I love that you and your daughter have this conversation because it's, they're needed to have. So I think that that's really cool. Also, like I've, I've never wanted to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. I've met many people who have most of them have done it to raising money. You know, after you climb that mountain, you know? And did it was, during the mountain, you were like reflecting like, what was like, was there a change and you came down at the high of the elevation?


    Simone Knego 11:22  

    All of the above. Get, so the really getting to the summit, it wasn't even getting to the summit, I've had people ask me, okay, if you didn't make it, would you still feel the same? Well, I don't know, because I did so, but hopefully, I would. Because again, I'm not a believer that failure stops you, it kind of opens the next door. But really, when I had to talk myself up, not down, I had to talk myself up so many times on the mountain thinking that, hey, what are you doing here, you have six kids at home, this is not in your wheelhouse, you're not capable of this. And the whole time, I had to say to myself, you can do this, you put in the work, you set the goal, you put in the work, you are going to accomplish this, like you are absolutely going to accomplish this. And I have a bad knee. So that didn't help with things. But it was really that change of mindset. And when I got to the summit was when I really kind of put it all together where I said that all these things, all of these negative thoughts that I have all the time, right, we have 6200 thoughts a day, and 80% of them are negative, that those aren't what I'm going to let control how I move forward, it's the positive ones and making more of the positive ones. And it really has made a difference for me and self-respect, self-worth, self-love. All of it is all part of that moment. And so I like to tell women, find your Kilimanjaro I'm not saying the specifically Kilimanjaro, but find that one thing that will kind of pull you out to where you want to be. 


    Lesley Logan 13:02  

    I agree with that I just heard, I was listening to some podcast. And this girl was like, so excited, cuz she ran a 5k. And she's like, I never thought I would run like I never could run around the block without like being out of breath. And she was so excited and so proud of herself for like this 5k that she ran. And I think that to her could have been Kilimanjaro, because like that just seemed like so she's like I hear about these people just go for a couple mile run. And I'm like, I can't go for a couple mile, couple block run. So I think it's true. We have to figure out what it is and also put you out of that comfort zone makes you challenge yourself. And you do have to change the story. So like I could hear, you know, it'd be so easy to oh, got this bad knee, I'm just not gonna go all the way to the top, or I'm actually gonna, I'll raise the money, but I'm not gonna go like there's so many different things you could do takes a whole superhuman level of finding yourself to do something that's outside of your comfort zone. Can we talk a bit about the difference between like the confidence that we see outside from people and then that bold confidence that comes from inside? Like, can we talk about what those two things look like or feel like?


    Simone Knego 14:09  

    So I think I see a lot of people who seem to be confident and then they go home and they struggle looking at themselves in the mirror. It's kind of like what they put on for everybody else to feel like they're that they're strong and they're and a lot of times when someone is confident on the outside and not on the inside, they tend to be a little bit rough around the edges with conversations. And basically, if you don't agree with them, then you're wrong. I mean, that's how what I see a lot of the time. I think people who are confident from the inside out, they are able to compromise they are able to see when they've made mistakes. They're able to admit when they've made mistakes. They celebrate their victories but they also celebrate when they figure out that they did something wrong and they can fix it. So there's four things that I like to talk about when it comes to confidence from the inside out is really your respecting your reflection, embracing your failures, asking yourself what you want, and loving the woman in the mirror. Because I think all those pieces together really, it covers everything that has to do with self-esteem. And when you look at statistics that eight, almost 85% of people will say that they struggle with self-esteem. That's a lot of people. That's a lot of people that are struggling. And my daughter was asking me the other day, so why do you think it is I was like, it's called society, we have these pressures that are put on us by society, to behave a certain way to look a certain way to have a certain job to drive a certain car. And that's not real. It's just like body image. When we talked about, on our podcast, she was talking about when you said, how every woman has a different body, there's, you don't have to be the super skinny person to be really strong with Pilates. She was like, I really never thought about it like that. We always think about that, if you're super skinny, that means like, you're super fit. And that's not how it works. 


    Lesley Logan 16:12  

    No, no, I,um, I think that you're correct. Society puts us pressures on us it affects, it affects the compass that we're working from, you know, like, I feel like when you're I watch my girlfriend's as a little, little girl, and she posts these videos, and I just like, watch her like, this little girl has like, not really experienced the pressure of society, yet. She just hasn't. She is just like, walking around doing her own thing, like smelling a rock, like just all these things. And then at some point, you know, you learn that you have to conform in a different way, and you have to mask certain things. And my husband, he is not diagnosed, but pretty confident he has ADHD. So he taps his feet all the time, they're always shaking, he'll start whistling and like doesn't even realize it, like he's got this, like, just these interesting things. And in school, he would have to, like, keep his leg still and not whistle and like that is kind of masking of like a personality, just so we can all conform. It can change didn't change him. He is resilient in that way. But like, I think for me, like I definitely as a child go, okay, well, I have to do it like this. And if I do it like this, then I get the affirmation stuff, I get the affirmation that I did a good job, but I must feel good. And it was so interesting. Like, I went to college. And I still did all the things, and I was like, I don't actually feel very good. I don't really know why I'm here. Why am I studying this major? What am I doing? And I think it's, it's a very difficult place to be when you're like, okay, now I'm gonna pivot, I'm gonna change these things. You have to figure out that inner confidence because the outside world's like, why did you do that? How the work and it's also the outside world, like, I'm just thinking of some other times where you go through a breakup, and people like, oh, but you guys were so great together, or you decide like, one of my girlfriend's posted on Instagram, like, just being okay with people who decide to be child-free. And she's like, you don't know why they're being child-free. Like, you don't have to tell them anything. And I jokingly wrote like, oh, yeah, people will say, but she would have the most beautiful children as if that's the thing the world needs more of. And it's an interesting thing, when you make a decision in your life, and then the society, what they come out, you have to find that inner confidence, otherwise, you're going to end up doing things for the wrong reasons.


    Simone Knego 18:29  

    Absolutely. And I love that you brought up that, that part about when you make a choice for as a couple, as a woman as a man that you don't want to have children. How that is seen as an outlier, which is so ridiculous, right? Like everybody chooses what they want to do. And people just assume something has to be wrong. It's not like, hey, wait, we just didn't want to have children or for us, they assume because we have six children and we adopted our youngest three that we're super religious, that's the thing that we get is that


    Lesley Logan 19:03  

    You be your own version of suicidal.


    Simone Knego 19:06  

    So no matter what you do, you get some weird ideas that our people have in their heads of this isn't what you're supposed to be doing like two kids, house with a picket fence, or 2.2 kids, I forget what it is now. But six kids is way out of the norm. And so there has to be a reason there has to be an issue that you're solving in that moment or your problem that you have and that's why you have six kids now that's we just like kids and we wanted to adopt and it worked out great.


    Lesley Logan 19:38  

    Yeah. Well, I mean, also like, people like you and your husband should, if you love kids, should have all the kids you want because you're raising these beautiful people from, with inner confidence. I always joke when I meet people with six I'm like, great, thanks for keeping the average up for me. But obviously, you have six kids, so I'm sure you can see the differences from your boys and your girls, but also like, I do think that it's, it can tell us particularly interesting pressure for women to have that inner, bold confidence you talk about and stick with the choice that they've made for themselves, whether it's their career or whether they want to stay at home or go to like, all these different things. There's these different pressures. And so to keep that compass steady, I mean, I feel like it's not perfect. I feel like it's a pendulum and you have to be aware of when you're kind of getting out of that bold confidence. 


    Simone Knego 20:30  

    Yeah, I, and even yesterday, I was having a moment where I was frustrated about something, I'm late for my doctor's appointment, and all these things are happening at once. And I was like, why do you always do this? Why are you making yourself wait, why are you doing and I was like, okay, hello, take a breath. These are such minor things like, just push it aside, you'll get there when you get there. You can't change that, you've already started this process, you can't change the past. So next time you leave a little earlier and stop driving yourself crazy. I mean, just those kind of little things. I think sometimes like I call them our daily doubts, like the little things that creep up on us that we're not allowed, you know, we're not good enough to go to this party because all these women will be dressed a certain way. And I'm a jeans and T-shirt kind of girl. So when I go somewhere, I still, unless it's truly like a formal event, I wear what I wear. And what's really interesting about that, and I know I'm kind of random here, but when I go to something like that, in jeans and a T-shirt and it's a nice cheap T-shirt, I mean, I still look nice, but I'll have multiple women come up to me and they'll say, I didn't know we were allowed to wear jeans. I was like, I don't think it's about being allowed. I think it's what you want. They're like, oh, gosh, I wish I would have known I would have dressed like that you look so comfortable. And I am wearing these heels and they're killing me. And so that's part of the inner confidence is being able to show up as yourself and not worry about what anybody else is thinking of you. Because a lot of times what they're thinking is I wish I would have done that. 


    Lesley Logan 22:04  

    Yeah, okay. Okay, first of all, love the daily doubts. And also, the conversation you just have with yourself in the car, it's like, it's a daily thing. I'm like, why did I do this? Why did I put these things back to back? Why didn't I give myself 15 minutes in between what like all these things, and then it's just like, then if you don't stop it, it goes into a whole spiral that by the end, you're like, I made the worst mistake of doing this.


    Simone Knego 22:30  

    It becomes like Doomsday, and you're like, wait, I was just going to be five minutes late to the appointment. And I turned it into this ridiculous cycle. 


    Lesley Logan 22:36  

    Yes, I mean, it's also a pressure we can throw ourselves, my husband is late to everything and I don't mean that in like a rude way. He's like, Lesley, we can be five minutes late, like, it's not the end of the world. It's just a dinner, it's going to be okay. And I am like, we should be early, you should be 10 minutes early, people should not be expecting that, like worried that you're late or wondering if you're gonna be respectful of people's time. And he's like, it's a coffee, it's gonna be okay. And so we have like, I was like, okay, well then, there's, we had to negotiate. Like, if it's something that's really important to me, then it's on me to say, I want to be here on time, because this is really important to me. And if it's not, then I will do my very, very best to just chill out in the car and not worry about being late. I'm not perfect at it at all. But it's helped me because this weird pressure that I put on myself, and it puts me in a doubt, a daily doubt. And then almost a doomsday so. So I love that. I also love that you brought up like inner confidence that can be just like showing up as you are and not waiting for the permission to be like, how can I show up? Like how should I, how should I show up versus like, how do I want to show up? I think that's really beautiful. And I feel like it's really cool because you can be this like little example, giving into your inner confidence and showing up as yourself and wearing the jeans and a nice shirt. Oh, my goodness, I went up T-shirt shopping the other day. I was like, are you kidding? Why are these T-shirts? $200? I'm like, okay, I'm going to Target. I will get there. I will look around and I see people in there they're showing off in their style like when you can see that they have their own. This is like this is their brand is (inaudible) wear but like that's how they are, like I wear tennis shoes with dresses because I just, I can't wear heels. I just don't feel good in them. So I always wear tennis shoes with dresses, and people are like oh my god that's so funny. Like Punky Brewster. I'm like the adult version. Here she is. And you do give people permission. But I also just want to say to the people listening if that sounds like something you do, that's a checkbox for this inner confidence and I think we sometimes don't realize because that might come easier for us to just do that than we might not realize we have more inner confidence than we think we're not maybe not giving ourselves credit for it. 


    Simone Knego 24:47  

    Absolutely. And then the sneaker thing I love as well. So I say that I gave up heels for (inaudible), for my birthday last week my girls bought me a really fun pair of sneakers because that's what I want to wear. I want to wear stuff that's comfortable. But that's kind of my style that I don't feel like I have to dress up for anyone else. Whatever I do, and this is I think a really important thing that I would love for your audience to take away is that what we do we need to do for ourselves. So the way we dress, it should be for ourselves, it shouldn't be that we're worried that the woman down the street is going to judge us if we don't wear something that she wears, the way we show up at something, it should be about us. You want to get Botox? That's about you. It's how you feel good in your skin and not what anybody else tells you. Going back real quick to Kilimanjaro, when I first told people that I was going to climb it. I will tell you, my close friends were like, okay, that is amazing. And then the people that I didn't know very well, you know, kind of gave me the ones over and we're like, do you really think you're going to make it to the top? No, no, I think I'm going to make it halfway. That's why I'm doing it. So these pressures that we put on ourselves, when you hear negative things enough times from other people, you can understand why these thoughts will creep into our head because people will say ridiculous stuff to us all the time.


    Lesley Logan 26:16  

    Oh, my gosh. I've told the story before but I'll tell you, I, Brad and I signed up for like an artist's way. It was a group that all the artists were together. And so we all were on week one together, week two together, I forget which week it is, I think it's week two or three, but there are some questions that she asked you to journal about. And this memory came up of when I was really young. And I felt like eight years old. And I had made myself a grilled cheese sandwich. But I didn't know how to turn on the stove at my grandparents' house. So I grabbed my grandfather, I said hey, had like a plate with like butter on the outside, cheese on the inside sandwich. And I was like, hey, Papa, can you turn on, can you turn on the stove so I can make this grilled cheese sandwich? Many of you are probably stuck on the eight-year-old at the stove. I just want you to know like that was really normal for me. I'm just, that's its own childhood trauma. He was like, are you an idiot? What is on their sandwich? Like he called me stupid for putting butter on the outside of my sandwich. I was like, well, I'm making a grilled cheese sandwich. And you put that's how you butter on it to like go I don't know, maybe people do oil. I don't know. But that's how I was raised. Right? And so my grandmother said, oh, Jake, just turn on the stove. She's got it right, it's fine. But I'll tell you this, I actually never cooked. Like I, like my dad would, I would cook with stuff that my dad had prepared from like pancakes and French toast. But I never cooked at that house again. And then when I left my dad's house, I never cooked again. Like it's just so rare. It's very, very rare from and I'll just say I don't, I can't cook, I can't cook. So I'm doing the artist's way. And I'm like writing these different memories that I have. And I was like, oh my God, that's why I can cook. I (inaudible) I can't from someone else's negative thing. And it's so easy for those daily doubts that you're talking about. They're not really our voice. They're just other people's doubts that we've like, absorbed like a sponge and put on (inaudible).


    Simone Knego 28:16  

    Yeah, we put all those upon ourselves and but yeah, you hear things enough time. And this is why I think it's so important that so one of the things I love to do are positive affirmations. And if you would have asked me 15 years ago, I would have said, that doesn't work. That would not work for me. I'm not talking to myself. I talked to myself all the time now. And it really does work. But when you see how people can absorb all the negative stuff, think about it, it makes sense that we can absorb the positive stuff, too. So if we're constantly telling ourselves that we can't do something, or that we're not enough, why can't we flip it and say, yes, you can do this. And you are more than enough. And if you say it enough times you do believe it, it really is about that mindset shift. And when you think about it that way that if we can believe all the crap, then we should be able to believe the good stuff as well.


    Lesley Logan 29:11  

    Yeah. Yeah, I was gonna ask you like, is that, is that the only tool that you use to like flip the script or to stop your daily doubts? Or do you have other tools that you use to kind of build this inner confidence? 


    Simone Knego 29:24  

    I have other other tools as well. So that, that one I like to do. I do evening gratitudes so like a gratitude journal or and I remember my daughter said I have nothing to be thankful about today. I was like, Hello. Yes, you do. Let me tell you all the things and she was like, Okay, I'm never gonna say that in front of you again. No, you won't know. So really, if I go through like the the different steps like embracing your failures, it's really about understanding that your failures don't equal your worth. Right so it's all a stepping stone to the next, next section of your life and asking yourself what you want, I think is such an important thing, especially as women, I think that we forget to do that, that we either we've done the same thing for so long, we don't actually know what we want. Or we have to do this because we're in this part of our lives, right? We have to have this job, we have to do this work, we have to raise the kids, it's all about everyone else. It's all about our spouse, whatever it is. And we don't ask ourselves what we want. So I have the, it's really like a compass that you go through the different parts of the compass, asking yourself what you want, and that kind of, like, do I want to do I want to wake up negative in the morning, right? I mean, you have a choice every day. So it's really looking at that compass of where your direction is going. And kind of following a bunch of questions to say, okay, yeah, no, I mean, I have a choice when I wake up in the morning, do I want to be negative? Do I want to be positive? Do I want to be happy, do I want and I know, there's external factors. But it's really important that we constantly ask ourselves what we want, so that we can get what we need. 


    Lesley Logan 31:06  

    Yeah, I think that's a really beautiful, it's very important because especially the longer you go, without asking yourself that the harder you have to spend more time thinking about it, and almost like, it's like the Runaway Bride sitting where she's like, trying out all the eggs, you know, it's like, she doesn't know what her favorite way of having eggs is. And it's a simple, funny story, but also like, just reality, if like, if you just are doing so much for so many other people, you start to forget what you want. And then it's going to take time to really go through that. I love it. It's a compass. I don't know, I didn't know that. And I just like for whatever reason, like this felt like there's a compass measurement for like keeping ourselves on this path. Simone, I could talk, we could go in more things, because I just think confidence is something that so many of my listeners are always how do you have it? How do you get it? What is it and it's like, there's, I love the way that you're talking about it. Because it's different than it's different than the other ways I've heard it, which is like, just keep doing, just keep doing the things. You said you'd do. Then you'll have confidence. And it's like, yes, and that gets the perfectionist overachiever in trouble. That's a really great tool for the person who is not perfect. We're not looking for perfection or overachiever awards. We're gonna take a brief break, and then find out how people can find you, follow you, listen to you. 


    All right, Simone, where can people work with you? How can they study your real method? What do you got for us?


    Simone Knego 32:24  

    That's where to find me is my website, Simoneknego.com. I have a new downloadable, which is the first step of my real method, all about respecting your reflection and tools and everything that goes along with it the work that we need to be doing, because like anything else, you're building a muscle and you have to work on it. I'm also Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, you can find me, Simone Knego, K-N-E-G-O because I am the only one in the world with that name.


    Lesley Logan 32:59  

    That's awesome. That's actually awesome. And you never have to regain your handle anywhere. And you have a podcast. 


    Simone Knego 33:06  

    Yes. So I have a podcast with my daughter called The Daughter Dearest Podcast. And it's really so much fun. You can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts. And I also, I have a book and I'm working on my second book. My first book is called The extraordinary Unordinary You. And you can read more about my Kilimanjaro story, my children, it's all about realizing what you're capable of. And recognizing that the little things you do everyday matter.


    Lesley Logan 33:32  

    I love it so much good stuff, I'll have all those links in the show notes. Before I let you go, I mean, you gave us some really good action steps already. So but just in case you will skip to the end for the too long, (inaudible) action steps of bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps we can take to be it till you see it, what do you have?


    Simone Knego 33:48  

    So I think the first step is really goes back to the respecting your reflection using positive affirmations on a regular basis. Don't be afraid of them. Don't, like, okay, so maybe they're silly, right? But they work like keep doing it. Whatever you do. It just doesn't happen overnight. You have to keep working on yourself. And again, if we want to say build bold confidence from the inside out, it really is you have to work at it doesn't just happen. You're not born with confidence. It's like 20% of people are born with confidence okay, so the 80% of us, we got to work. And I would say the other thing is really learning to love the woman in the mirror. We have to stop comparing ourselves to others, we have to realize what we're capable of put the work into our ourselves and really be proud of who we are so that when we look in the mirror, the first thing that we see isn't what we don't like, but the first thing that we see is what we actually love and that, that's us and I think that is such an important thing for women to remind ourselves of. 


    Lesley Logan 34:46  

    Oh, I love that. That is beautiful. Okay, well, yes, because it's so easy. The first thing I look at was like, oh gosh, my, I have a puffy eye. I've got this like you just like pick yourself apart and you're like, okay, I'm gonna have a good day. 


    Simone Knego 34:58  

    Yeah, have a good day. 


    Lesley Logan 35:01  

    I love it also, here on the pod on Fridays, y'all, we do the Fuck Yeah Fridays, which is like just I celebrate the wins of our listeners and I share a win of mine, it's mostly so people can hear, like, different ways that you could have a win. They don't always have to be like, I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, which is a win, but also like, there was a little parts along the way that are wins as well. And so I started doing affirmations at the end. And I said, I hope people like these, because they can seem really like cheesy, cliche. Yes. But you know what, like, I whenever I read them, I repeat, I read them three times for the podcast. I go through my day, and I'm like, oh, look, I am pacing myself. Look at that. I'm sorry to find it. One of our other guests we've had on. She even shared, you guys, she used to put these affirmations on Post Its it's all around her house and then but she was so nervous that people will make fun of her that she would pull them all down when people come over and then she put them all up when they would leave. And she's like, now I just leave a lot because now I have the confidence to do that. But it's a, there's different ways to find those affirmations. And I think that's a great way to remind yourself of awesome things if it's not a natural phrase for you to say to yourself. So, Simone, thank you so much for being here. I really enjoy our talks and I can't wait to see you in person again soon I hope. You all, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Let Simone know, let us know in the Be It pod. Share this with a friend who is needing some inner confidence and you just know they need it. This could be a nice little nudge. You don't have to tell them why you could just send them the episode. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 


    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

      


    Brad Crowell 37:13  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.


    Lesley Logan 37:18  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 37:22  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 37:29  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 37:33  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    37m - May 7, 2024
  • 363. Hidden Benefits of Routines and Strategic Pauses

    What can strategic pauses do for your mental and professional health? Lesley shares compelling stories from her podcast community, including Sonia Ahmed's publication success and Melissa Nagai's newfound work clarity following a break. The episode illustrates how stepping back can lead to leaps forward, offering listeners practical advice on incorporating strategic pauses into their lives.



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Sonia’s article gets published in a Pilates magazine. 
    • Melissa shares the clarity gained from taking a break.
    • Discover how Christine's prioritized well-being and abundance mindset.
    • How Lesley keeps up with morning routines despite frequent travels. 


    Episode References/Links:

    • Mentions Sonia Ahmed
    • Mentions Melissa Nagai 
    • Mentions Christine Eschen

     

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

     

    DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

     

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

     

     

    Resources:

     

    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    It's Fuck Yeah Friday. 


    Brad Crowell 0:01  

    Fuck yeah. 


    Lesley Logan 0:02  

    Get ready for some wins. 


    Lesley Logan 0:05  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

      


    Lesley Logan 0:46  

    Hello, Be It babe. Oh my goodness. Welcome to the May 3rd. Happy May 3rd. FYF, this is the Fuck Yeah Friday, which means we share wins of yours we share a win of mine and why we're doing this is so we can all stop harping on the things we did not get done today or this week or last month because my goodness, have you ever seen a finished to-do list? There's this one guy running on the podcast. He always says like he is actually had never reached a goal in the last six years of his business. And he has been very successful. And I just love that because we don't actually have to have wins the way we anticipated them to have an amazing successful life, one that is got so much goodness going on it. So let's start with your wins. 


    Lesley Logan 1:29  

    So, Sonia Ahmed, she's an eLevate grad and she's an Agency member. And she said an article I wrote will be published in a Pilates magazine in April. Thanks goes to Roxy for the encouragement, guidance and support. Yes. Oh my gosh. So in Agency, we have several coaches and one of them is Roxy Menzies. You've heard her on the podcast (inaudible) shout out because she herself is some amazing guest and she saw what Sonia Ahmed had written and said that could be an article and Sonya reached out and it is and I'm so, so excited for Sonia and I also love when people see things in other people and encourage them to actually say it out loud. Like it's just so fun. So thanks, Sonia and we celebrate that with you. 


    Lesley Logan 2:04  

    Melissa Nagai who's been an Agency member for many many years, said I sat down to do a little bit of work today after taking off six full days of doing anything to do with my business. My mind feels so much more clear as I worked on my schedule for the next couple of months. Everything felt like it was falling into place with ease versus me feeling overwhelmed. I always appreciate a good reset. Melissa, I agree. I just took three full days, which is not six full, three full days of like, not opening an email, not doing anything and it was like Holy Moly. Actually I was like, excited to come back to my desk and I'm still very behind on everything to do but it felt like it was at ease. And we have Christine Eschen, she's an Agency member and eLevate grad. Okay, wins for the week, sign up for an additional chamber group. I am working on my abundance mindset and I cancelled a 96-mile, one-way drive to work due to snowmageddon. No clients and my hubby has back pain. So we did a workout together this morning. I shared the Be It Pod with my masseuse because I think she needs it, and excited to go to Vegas and meet my eLevate partner, Heather, in real life. Feeling super blessed to be at home, loaded up with groceries and ready for snowmageddon coming, feeling blessed to have LL, Brad and everyone at Agency. Oh my gosh, Christine, I just want to highlight that you're trying to have an abundance mindset. And that in focusing on having an abundance mindset, you got rid of a drive you probably couldn't have even done if you wanted to. And you would have been so mad at yourself if you had even attempted it and frustrated and so way to go, way to like hold space for that abundance mindset you want to have. Okay, so you guys, you can send your wins in based on how many we get, we get so many that when you hear yours, it's probably a few weeks after it actually happened. And so you get to re-celebrate that win. 


    Lesley Logan 3:49  

    So my win is that crazy travel, like all April was just like home for four days, gone for 10, home for four, gone for four, home for four, gone again. In fact, I'm currently about to leave again for another week. And it's just a little chaotic. It's not how all of Q2 is going to be. But it's how this first third of Q2 has been. And it'd be so easy to just let the crazy travel be the reason why I don't keep my morning routines. But I am proud to say that all of April even with the crazy, chaotic flights and weird meetings and hotels and other stuff, I was able to keep a version of a morning routine that would fuel me and I share that as a phrase because some mornings included a walk and a workout and my journals, and some mornings included a workout and my journals, and in some mornings included a meditation and then a walk and then a float. Like, when you are traveling instead of focusing on what you can't do that's part of your morning routine, actually ask yourself what is possible and it truly opens up the doors for what is possible and you actually don't waste time on can't do that, can't do that, can't do, as it's a boring way to think, right? So it was actually really wonderful, wonderful April even though every single weekend of April, I was gone. And then many of the days there in the middle, I was actually just able to maintain a morning routine that would keep me fueled, which is so, so important for me to stay in my creative state of mind, because that's the only way I can give you things. 


    Lesley Logan 1:29  

    So I have an affirmation for you to repeat to yourself. Saying no is an act of self-affirmation, too. Saying no is an act of self-affirmation, too. Saying no is an act of self-affirmation, too. Oh, what can you say no to this weekend? That is an act of self-affirmation. I want to know, share it with me at the Be It Pod, send your wins and send your shout out too, here. If you have questions, we'll answer those on the recaps. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 5:44  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 

     

     


    Lesley Logan 6:11  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 6:26  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 6:31  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 6:36  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 6:43  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


    Brad Crowell 6:46  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    6m - May 3, 2024
  • 362. Sure Methods to Manifest Your Aspirations Now

    Explore the fundamentals of manifesting your desires in this engaging recap episode with Lesley and Brad. They revisit the most compelling advice from Clare Solly, including her approach to reading and the impact of the pandemic on her career priorities. This episode is filled with anecdotes and strategies that will inspire you to take bold steps toward your aspirations. Whether you’re a creative professional or looking to reinvent your career, this is your guide to implementing a Marie Kondo-like approach to your professional life. 



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • The essential equipment for a functional Pilates home studio.
    • The community of people behind the niche #bookstagram.
    • The importance of leveraging and highlighting your unique creative strengths. 
    • Solly‘s Marie Kondo-like approach to focus on what brings you the most joy.
    • Ways to implement Clare Solly’s BE IT methods to set achievable life goals.


    Episode References/Links:

     

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

     

    DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

     

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

     

     

    Resources:

     

    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Brad Crowell 0:00  

    She said she took the Marie Kondo approach. She kind of took a step back and was like, Is this bringing me joy? Yeah, like, Is this really going where I wanted to go? And she said pandemic allowed her that reflection to identify what truly mattered to her. And then she said she stumbled upon the Bookstagram thing, kind of by accident. Yeah. And now it's shifting to become a major part of our life.


    Lesley Logan 0:24  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

      


    Lesley Logan 1:06  

    Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the gratifying convo I had with Clare Solly in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and go back and join that one. And then come back and join this one. You also can go to Episode 19 and 20 and really get to know Clare. And then we also had her on as a recap host because Brad got stuck in Cambodia. 


    Brad Crowell 1:32  

    I did. It's true. 


    Lesley Logan 1:34  

    So Clare has been a fan favorite. Today is May 2nd and it's World Password Day, Brad.


    Brad Crowell 1:39  

    It is World Password Day. First off, I just wanted to say that this episode with Clare was super fun. And Clare, this is for you. I'm really impressed by your Be It Action Item. You're amazing. Okay, today's World Password Day, May 2nd. About this day, are you still using your cat's name followed by an “&” for your 401(k) account password? Sorry, but that is not enough to protect your life savings in 2024. Here's a term you need to know on World Password Day hashtag layer up. This refers to adding strong authentication to your important passwords to prevent identity theft, and other cyber crimes. 


    Brad Crowell 2:24  

    Intel created world password day. Thank you, Intel. The first Thursday of May, May 2nd, to address the critical need for solid passwords. It's simple, really, ironically, most operating systems offer an easy way to create and store passwords, such as Apple's Keychain Access, right? Safari uses that, all that kind of stuff. If you use cross device like cross manufacturer, so if you've got a Google phone and an Apple device, you can use other password storage platforms called, like we use one called LastPass. It's really convenient if you 


    Lesley Logan 2:55  

    They don't sponsor the show, guys. 


    Brad Crowell 2:24  

    They don't sponsor the show. I wish they did. But yeah, it allows me to put the same password I have, I have the same password tool on both of my devices on my phone on my laptop. And if I sign up for something on my laptop, I can easily log into it on my phone. And it allows you to make like complex passwords like crazy complex passwords. And you never actually have to remember them because you're only logging into one platform. And then your passwords are saved in there. And they're super hardcore about, you know, security and stuff. So, good things. Good things. You should definitely not get hacked. It's a real thing. Yeah. All right. Upcoming events and travel. It's May. 


    Lesley Logan 3:40  

    It's May. We're doing a little bit of travel, but nothing that you can, you can join us on. Oh, I guess there's Get Published Live, you could do? Yeah, that is 


    Brad Crowell 3:50  

    We're gonna be speaking at an event down in Arizona Get Published Live with James Patrick. And you can, what is it, getpublishedlive.com? 


    Brad Crowell 4:02  

    Yes and use code Logan 20. 


    Brad Crowell 4:02  

    Yeah, Logan 20 to get 20% off if you want to join us down there. That'll be super fun. It's a, it's an event about literally getting published. And there's some panels we're speaking on a panel. It's gonna be great. 


    Lesley Logan 4:13  

    Yeah, you'll be in front of all these people. That's really great. Okay, then we come back and it's OPC Summer Camp 


    Brad Crowell 4:18  

    In June. In June.


    Lesley Logan 4:19  

    This is virtual. First weekend of June. And if you can't join us live, you'll want to still buy things on the early bird because you get the access to them for life and we will have seven classes and workshops a day for two days. That's 14 events. And you'll be able to buy ala cart or you'll be able to buy a whole day pass which is really exciting. You want to go to opc.me/events to get on the waitlist for that because those on the waitlist will get the early bird. Now here's the deal. We're recording this a little bit early. And by now early bird should have happened. That being said, we'll still email you but it might be just be the regular public early bird which is still a great price. 


    Brad Crowell 4:28  

    Well, the best, the best deal is the day pass. Hands down, there's no question about it. So, pick up a day pass, you'll get everything for the day. And that's going to be I mean, that's gonna be some great stuff. I'm really fired up. We've got a bunch of guest teachers, it's going to be a lot of fun. And y'all, here's the deal. We're trying to make this a thing. We did it last summer. We met, we're doing it this summer. And we're going to do it again. Like for as long as we can plan ahead here where we're thinking we're gonna do a summer camp every year. 


    Lesley Logan 5:26  

    And there's different teachers, different instructors, different topics. I'm really excited. Some of these topics include, we have pre/postnatal workouts, as a workshop, and I learned so much I didn't even expect to learn it was so great. I've learned it because we already got to work with the instructor on it. I'm teaching a ladder barrel workout. It's literally 15 minutes on your ladder barrel, get ready, gonna be great.


    Brad Crowell 5:49  

    I'm teaching a REM cycles sleep class, not at all. 


    Lesley Logan 5:54  

    But all your OPC teachers are teaching something. And then we have guest teachers as well. So I'm really excited. So, opc.me/events to get more information on that, then the Summer Tour is around the corner, it's going to be in August, we are locking in as Brad and I record this we're locking in the cities for that and also sponsors for that. So if you know people who want to sponsor the tour, please reach out to us but I'm really, really, really excited that we'll already have summer and winter tour cities picked in the 


    Brad Crowell 6:25  

    By the end of April. 


    Lesley Logan 6:26  

    Yeah, by the end of April (inaudible).


    Brad Crowell 6:29  

    So like, a tentative potential route that we're going to go on here for the summer tour is going to take us from Vegas up through like to the to the northern Midwest. So we're trying to get up in through Iowa up into Minnesota, hopefully, and then over into Wisconsin and then down to Chicago. We think we'll probably go as far east as like Ohio, but no, no further east for the Summer Tour then we're going to scoot back around through the middle of the country and come along Route 70. So we're pretty sure we're going to be you know, like Indianapolis, then St. Louis, Kansas City, etc. on the way home, if you're going to be anywhere within a couple hours drive, come hang out with us, the actual dates and all the things we'll be releasing, you know, at this point, hopefully they're released, to be honest so but then the Winter Tour we're going to shift it here and we're going to start in the south and we're gonna go along through Oklahoma, Tennessee, North Carolina and then we're gonna go up the coast and then back down the coast and scoot back along Texas and stuff. 


    Lesley Logan 7:34  

    It's gonna be the longest tour we have ever done. 


    Lesley Logan 7:36  

    Yeah, geez, the winter tour this year could turn into like 8000 miles.


    Lesley Logan 7:40  

    So anyways, we'll announce all those things soon but just be waiting for us on (inaudible). 


    Brad Crowell 7:45  

    Yeah, get on the waitlist, go to opc.me/events. By the way, for all of you who are wondering what waitlist to get on we're consolidating the waitlists here, trying to keep everybody's life a little easier.


    Lesley Logan 7:55  

    As we say that I'm going to change the waitlist up right now. So the Cambodia, 


    Brad Crowell 7:58  

    Yeah, we're about to change this waitlist. 


    Lesley Logan 8:00  

    So the earlybird for Cambodia might still be going on when this comes out.


    Brad Crowell 8:05  

    Yeah, actually, it'll be 


    Lesley Logan 8:07  

    Right in the middle of it.


    Brad Crowell 8:07  

    It'll be closing the end of May. Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 8:10  

    So if you go to lesleylogan.co/retreats you will be getting the Cambodia retreat earlybird that's going on right now.


    Brad Crowell 8:19  

    Only waitlist people will know about the dates so go to lesleylogan.co/retreats that's plural.


    Lesley Logan 8:26  

    And that one is only about Cambodia. You only hear updates about Cambodia. And then barrels, because we just got back from LA shooting the deck, we did a whole photo shoot for the deck.


    Brad Crowell 8:36  

    It's super awesome y'all.


    Lesley Logan 8:38  

    Oh my God it was hence why I keep yawning, you guys, I did five hours of Pilates like nobody's so tired but


    Brad Crowell 8:44  

    Yeah, literally yesterday it was the day that we did the eclipse, too. 


    Lesley Logan 8:47  

    Yeah, we saw the eclipse then we discovered we didn't have one of the pieces that we needed to have. 


    Brad Crowell 8:54  

    Oops. 


    Lesley Logan 8:54  

    We had to Uber it. 


    Brad Crowell 8:55  

    Brad's fired. 


    Lesley Logan 8:57  

    Brad is not getting hired for that job ever again and the next time he's like yes Lesley I packed it I'm like well just remember we had Uber or something, so I'm gonna forever 


    Brad Crowell 9:06  

    She's going to lord this over me. 


    Lesley Logan 9:08  

    Forever double check you at forever. But barrels flashcards. That presale is going to happen in the next few weeks. So you do need to be on the waitlist at opc.me/flashcardwaitlist 


    Brad Crowell 9:14  

    opc.me/flashcardwaitlist that's singular. 


    Lesley Logan 9:24  

    Yeah, so both words because only the people on the waitlist are going to get the presale price.


    Brad Crowell 9:30  

    And that is a big deal. 


    Lesley Logan 9:31  

    And we do have a couple of retailers in, we have someone in Australia and we have someone in Canada. Now here's the deal, you guys. They basically take on the entire shipping cost so you have reasonable shipping, but they are not honoring presale prices. 


    Brad Crowell 9:46  

    Yeah, they, it's just not really feasible. 


    Lesley Logan 9:48  

    It's not feasible for them to do that and also cover all the shipping. So you can either pay a (inaudible) shipping on your own and get presale price or you can tell them that you want a deck from them. And so that's gonna be Claire ARB Plaza and under and the Melissa guy. Is B Pilates in Canada. Okay, before we get into Clare, we have an audience question. 


    Brad Crowell 10:11  

    We sure do. This is from Caroline. And she is asking, hello I'm looking for advice for the best home studio. Please keep in mind that it's small and has low ceilings and I already have these things. I have one ad is reformer, one baby chair, one Wunda chair, one pedi pull, one foot corrector, two toe correctors, two small barrels, two spine correctors, and I want to buy a Cadillac next, I have space for one more piece of equipment. What would you choose from the following? A high chair, ceiling height is low, can stand on caddy, but not sure about the high chair. Would you choose the Wunda chair offer duets? Or would you choose a ladder barrel which, I think, it takes up a lot of room?


    Lesley Logan 10:54  

    Girl I got two ladder barrels in one room.


    Brad Crowell 10:57  

    She does. 


    Lesley Logan 10:57  

    So what I would say, first of all, this is a full studio as it is. 


    Brad Crowell 11:02  

    Yeah, I mean, if you have a small space. I'm impressed. You're like playing Tetris here.


    Lesley Logan 11:07  

    Yeah, well, probably using the wall like we do for the barrels and stuff. But, but I would just personally say like, get the Cadi. And if you do have room for something else, I would actually get the ladder barrel. Just because the high chair, there's one exercise you can do it, there's like literally two, it's the press ups front and press ups back. So one exercise that you can't do on a Wunda chair, everything else you could do on the Wunda chair. So to me, if you had more space and you already had a ladder barrel, then I would say get the high chair. But that's not the case here. So I'm gonna say no on that, because you'll have a Cadillac to do the pull up stuff that's going to get you that shape that you're looking for. And then, as far as getting another Wunda chair, I also wouldn't because you have enough equipment here that you could have one person on a reformer and one person on a Cadillac, one person on the chair, you could have three or four people I'm just gonna say. But like, I don't actually think that's gonna be the best part of your worth your money, because the ladder barrel is actually quite unique. And as we mentioned, at the top of this, I'm doing a 50 minute workout on it. So there's a lot you can do on it. And while it can take up all that space, it also can just be shoved in a corner like it really, there's a lot of amazing tools that you can use or stretches you can do on it. There's things that are great for beginners also people learning swan on a ladder barrel, it's so much better than on a reformer. And so I would just say get the ladder barrel, and I don't believe it takes that much room. So that is my vote. If you want to use my Contrology link for any of the things you're buying, feel free to look up our perks page.


    Brad Crowell 12:40  

    Go to opc.me/perks Oh, yeah, great question (inaudible). 


    Lesley Logan 12:44  

    We're adding more perks to that because I've just interviewed two companies who have great things. And I'll be sharing with you on my socials what those are and we'll add them to the perks but I am super excited. People are really excited to get me off my current collagen and onto their collagen. So that's just a hint on one of those and then we got coffee coming.


    Brad Crowell 13:04  

    Oh yeah, we got coffee coming, y'all. Yeah, I'm excited about that. 


    Lesley Logan 13:07  

    Stay tuned. 


    Brad Crowell 13:08  

    It tastes good. I've been drinking it. Okay, now let's talk about Clare Solly. Claire is an executive assistant in New York City known for her work as an actress, producer, singer and founder of two theatre companies. She has gained more than 11,000 Bookstagram followers in the last six months and is a published author of three novels. What fills her cup aside from reading includes promoting books and authors and following people with similar interests. Clare is impressive.


    Lesley Logan 13:39  

    I know. She's so good at everything that she does. She's like, really, really quite amazing at it. And I am so impressed with all the things that she's able to balance at one time. But one of the things that I love to highlight about her is she said, I'm a storyteller first. That's a gift that I give to myself in this in this world. I think it's also the gift you give to other people, Clare, but you know, I think the world needs storytellers. And, you know, when we first had her on, she was like, helping people get their books published and things like that. But really, that turned into people just wanting help with the marketing. And it's that's not the side of it that she really enjoyed. And she ended up like just being a storyteller having this like, incredible, incredible following on a Bookstagram in such a short period of time.


    Brad Crowell 14:24  

    So if you all don't know, have any idea what Bookstagram is, like, I didn't.


    Lesley Logan 14:24  

    I know, we now know, we know two Bookstagramers. 


    Brad Crowell 14:26  

    Okay, so it's Instagram. But there's a hashtag Bookstagram. It's like a niche of Instagram, right? So what this means it's a cult following. It's a community of people. It's a great way to discover new books and whatnot. They're very communicative, you know, in this channel, as it were. 


    Lesley Logan 14:49  

    It's like it's a hashtag that they all use and you can find the Bookstagramer that like kind of suits your needs if you're in fiction or nonfiction we have do we do we already recapped Nick Hutchison or is he coming out? (Inaudible) So he's a Bookstagramer as well but he's a nonfiction one so like where and so just very fascinating so anyways, what I what I do love though is that like she has found something that is a lot of fun for her and she can monetize it she hasn't yet but and you know it may be that she needs someone to tell her how to do that so she can stick in the part which is her creative strength which is telling the stories and highlighting the books and not doing the logistical about it. 


    Brad Crowell 15:33  

    Well, she has plus one follower from this guy right here as of today. You won't be Solly. Heck yeah. I'm excited. I was looking because she was describing like, the wall and how people make it look so pretty. And all this stuff. I was like, what the hell is she talking about? So I had to go check it out. 


    Lesley Logan 15:57  

    Oh, they do incredible. Some of them have like, it's kind of crazy what they, the efforts and the lengths they go through to highlight a book.


    Brad Crowell 16:05  

    Yeah, it was definitely impressive. And I was, I was just like, flipping through her page. It was, it was fun. And also I'm like, I'm incredibly impressed at the amount that she reads. I can't even understand how you can read these many books. 


    Lesley Logan 16:21  

    You just have to sit down and read, Brad. 


    Brad Crowell 16:22  

    Yeah. But this is another level of reading. I mean, we're talking. 


    Lesley Logan 16:27  

    Well, but if you, if you read the book that Nick sent you, it would teach you how to read faster.


    Brad Crowell 16:33  

    No, his book is on retention, not about reading faster. 


    Lesley Logan 16:36  

    That's true, but also how to retain what you're reading. But it does tell you that if you read for 15 minutes a day, you'll read 20 books in a year. 


    Brad Crowell 16:42  

    Yeah, well, I read 20 books a year, but Clare reads like 10 times that. 


    Lesley Logan 16:48  

    She's fast. 


    Brad Crowell 16:49  

    Yeah, it's impressive. 


    Lesley Logan 16:50  

    You too, could be fast. 


    Brad Crowell 16:52  

    You too, could be fast. You could be a fast reader. Well, I'll tell you what I loved that she was talking about. She believes that for her, the pandemic was a gift. And I know that for many it was not a gift. And I also know that being in New York City, it was a tough, tough thing to go through. Especially there, there was a ton of death and a lot of isolation. But she said it forced her to pause and reconsider her priorities. She said before that she was working 80 hours a week. I think that's amazing. I think I remember doing that when I was, when I first moved to Los Angeles. Being in the creatives, you know, myself doing music, but I didn't really consider it work, right. But if you step back and look at it, I would go, I would work at a restaurant from like, all day, you know, and then I would leave and I would go to rehearsal. And then from rehearsal I would go play a show or I would go out to a show to network, right? So even though I was having fun, I was still like intentionally trying to be there. And if you add all those things up, like she was working a full-time job, but then working in theater at night, still going on auditions, writing on the side, and all this kind of stuff. And it's like, yeah, you add all these things up, and suddenly like, Whoa, I actually I never stopped, you know. And so she said, if you remember back from Episode 19, and 20, she was coaching people on how to publish a book. And she was coaching people on money mindset. And she, those were in addition to working and doing theater still. And so the pandemic really shifted all that for her. And she said she, she, you know, she, you actually asked her like, how did you let go of these things you started because she had started them well, you know, you start anything, you know, you want it to succeed. Right? So, you know, you asked her she said she took the Marie Kondo approach, she kind of took a step back and was like, Is this bringing me joy? Like, Is this really going where I want it to go? And she said, pandemic allowed her that reflection, to identify what truly mattered to her. And then she said she stumbled upon the Bookstagram thing, kind of by accident. And now it's shifting to become a major part of her life. 


    Lesley Logan 16:52  

    Yeah, I mean, well, because she's an author and she writes books and the reality is to get the deals and to get your, sell your books, you have to have an audience. So she kind of was like doing it for her own books. And now she's like, because she's like promoting all these other people's books, now people are sending her books to do it. Like it's a whole thing. 


    Brad Crowell 19:20  

    So and if you all like rom-coms, that's her like jam. So that's, that's her genre. She really digs and she's, so she's constantly reviewing these kinds of books. And if that's up your alley, then you should follow her on the IGs (inaudible) show but she ultimately said, you know, she took a look at what, at her life and what she was doing and you know, and was like, what, what's making me smile? What's making me happy? And she shifted because of that. So good for her. That's cool.


    Lesley Logan 19:49  

    GO Claie.


    Brad Crowell 19:50  

    Go Clare. All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items, what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Clare Solly? This is where I was talking about Clare, I'm really impressed by you because I think very, I think you might be one of two guests who have brought four items, like one for each of the B, E and I and T. X


    Lesley Logan 20:16  

    There's gotta be like, a mug for that. 


    Brad Crowell 20:19  

    We're gonna, we're gonna mail you a sticker. Yeah. This is really cool. So she said, hey, listen, this all flows together. So look at what you're obsessed with. Right? Use your comparisons and judgments, then build your confidence and manifest the shit out of it. But let's actually break this down. Let's talk about this. Look at what you're obsessed with. What things are reaching out to you, or what is calling to you, right? And spend your free time on that thing, right? For her it was reading, right? Use your comparisons and judgments, meaning use comparisons constructively. She said, like people's posts or of other people's lives, instead of going, oh my gosh, they're just so much better than me, I'm never going to be as good as them, turn it around and look at it as what is possible. That's amazing that it's possible that this person has, you know, all these things going on in their life. And then see that as possibility for you then use that to build confidence, let your interest and let that encouragement point the way for you in direction. And then manifest the shit out of it. You know, so keep focusing on it. Love this.


    Lesley Logan 21:32  

    She said your approach to manifesting has to be the right way. So she said recognize everything is energy. And so you have to get clear on your desires and visualize that desired outcome. But then you have to employ the tools for the focus of it. So like, if you want something but your energy around that is negative, you're never going to have it you're always going to repelling of it. So she said to get clear on those desires, visualize the outcome, and then employ the tools like journaling and meditation. But she also said be intentional and deep dive on the why. Why do you want this thing? Why do you want this to happen? What like, what is it about that makes and it doesn't have to be like brilliant Mother Teresa why but like, you know, like, why do I want to do and I've always wanted one period, end of story. I want, I want it. I want, I want it. I want to be in really cool color, I want everyone to know it's me. Like, that's what I want. And I've wanted it for over 13 years now. So I still want it.


    Brad Crowell 22:21  

    Why do I want a black cape? Because I've always wanted to be Darth Vader.


    Lesley Logan 22:25  

    Yeah, so there you go. But then Brad, you have to journal and meditate on that cape, I hope you never have. Then you want to detail desires and get clear. She says do that go as many details of it as you can like really like you ABCD all the way through Z are just like however many come up. But then she says you need to use physical reminders. So play sticky notes or other reminders around to keep your goals in mind. Because if you want to manifest something to think about you have to be, and then thinking about is not like the secret like if once I thought it now it's happening. No, you are when you keep it fresh top of mind, you start to use your RAS system to actually see opportunities for that to happen. The RAS system is particularly an activating system. So I basically (inaudible).


    Brad Crowell 23:10  

    It totally is. I'm impressed. Reticular activating system. Yes. 


    Lesley Logan 23:14  

    What did I call it?


    Brad Crowell 23:15  

    I don't know. But yes, reticular activating system.


    Lesley Logan 23:18  

    I made a new word. I think. Guys, I am so tired, love you. So get as clear as you can on what you want, like and distill things down until you can't get down any further. And I love the idea of Post Its because Post Its can be mantra, they can be affirmations. They can be things you want. So I just think it's great. All right, I'm Lesley Logan. 


    Brad Crowell 23:37  

    And I'm Brad Cromwell. 


    Lesley Logan 23:38  

    Thank you so much for being here. You are amazing. I just adore you. 362 episodes. Here we are. 


    Brad Crowell 23:45  

    Oh my gosh.


    Lesley Logan 23:46  

    Because of you.


    Brad Crowell 23:47  

    Incredible.


    Lesley Logan 23:47  

    So, keep send your questions in. Thank you for all of your reviews. Thank you for sharing this podcast with someone who needs it. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.


    Brad Crowell 23:54  

    Bye for now.


    Lesley Logan 23:57  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 



    Lesley Logan 24:24  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 24:39  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 24:44  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 24:48  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 24:55  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


    Brad Crowell 24:59  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

     



    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donations

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    25m - May 2, 2024
  • 361. Transforming Love of Books Into a Social Media Triumph

    This episode explores Clare's journey to harmonizing her creative pursuits with profound personal satisfaction. Clare shares pivotal instances of introspection in her career and life that catalyzed transformative changes. Learn about her foundational goals in becoming a Bookstagrammer, focusing on genuine interactions and a deep-seated passion for literature, which propelled her to gain a community of 11,000 followers. Get inspired by Clare's story of growth, from passionate reader to influential Bookstagrammer, and the impactful choices that led there.



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • How Clare turned her love for books into a vibrant Bookstagram presence
    • The nuances of authentic engagement and monetization on social media.
    • How aligning projects with passions can lead to genuine satisfaction.
    • The significance of reevaluating life choices for achieving fulfillment.
    • Clare provides practical, actionable steps to manifest change in your life.


    Episode References/Links:


    Guest Bio:

    Clare Solly is a modern day Renaissance woman living in New York City. She is an actress, writer, national pageant queen, and by day she is an executive assistant. She has published three books: The Time Turner, Christmas and Cleats and Save The Last Piece. Clare runs two theatre companies in NYC: The Bechdel Group and Company of Fools Theatre where she loves to foster and challenge new writers. She also is an avid bookstagrammer who grew her followers to almost 11K in 5 months time.

     

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

     

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    Episode Transcript:

    Clare Solly 0:00  

    Bookstagram is gorgeous to look at, like you look at people's grids and like you just want to screenshot them because they're just gorgeous. People are like, this is my life. It's like lifestyles but with books.


    Lesley Logan 0:12  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

      


    Lesley Logan 0:54  

    All right, Be It babe, we have one of those blast from the past, one of my besties, Clare Solly, as our guest today and I wanted to have this conversation because I like the turns it takes I also just love having on people to kind of give you a glimpse of where their life is at today. And also like hear how they got to where they are. That's our big thing at Be It Till You See It. It's like, how did someone get there? What happened there? Is it always sunshine and roses and butterflies? And it isn't, it's not, right? Things can be two things at once. And so Clare's on today to talk about, like what she's doing now, what she is excited about now, and how that changed her life. And we also get into some manifestation stuff, which I think is always a good reminder of how to like add that back into your life because sometimes it's really easy to just get off the manifestation wagon then wonder why you don't have what you have. And every time I talk about manifestation with Clare, I'm like, oh, yeah, I gotta go sit down. I'm like during that because every time I get specific, it all fucking happens. So anyways, without further ado, here is Clare Solly. 


    Lesley Logan 1:51  

    All right, Be It babe, I have one of your favorite guests. So you actually heard her many times on the pod coming back. We love to have people come back on. It's been a couple of years since her actual interview. And even over a year since she helped me out and did Brad's job for a while, maybe even two years. Oh, my goodness. Clare Solly is here, one of my best friends, my slingshot friend. I wanted to have her back on because you know what so much changes in such a short period of time, but also a long period of time. And I think it's really easy for us to hear people on a podcast, be inspired, think they have it all together and their life is set. Everything is perfect. Everything is done. It's just gonna keep going that way. And Clare and even like myself are like really great examples of like, sometimes it changes and it changes for the better. So Clare, tell everyone just in case they don't know who you are. They didn't listen to your first episode. Who are you? What do you rock at? 


    Clare Solly 2:39  

    Ah, hi, Lesley. I'm so glad to be back. I am, overall I'm a storyteller. I think that's like if I had to name my world in one or my life in one. I'm a storyteller. I have lived many different lives. I am an actress, singer, novelist. I'm a producer of plays. I, by day, I'm an executive assistant and most recently, I'm a Bookstagram.


    Lesley Logan 3:11  

    Okay, so I didn't even know that Bookstagram was a thing. But I just interviewed someone, his episode's probably come out, Nick Hutchison, and he's, he, he was a Bookstagramer as well. And like, and I was like, hold on. You're the second Bookstagramer I know. Like I didn't, I, like this whole thing I didn't even know existed. So how long have you been a Bookstagramer and how did that even get started?


    Clare Solly 3:32  

    Oh, it's a journey. Like it's a short journey. But actually, I have to post my post right now. So I was waiting to do that so we can get it. So if you want to see me actually post physically. I was sitting waiting for the interview to start so I could do that. Or so I could maximize my time. I've been an Instagramer for about six or a Bookstagram or I've been on Instagram forever. I've been a Bookstagramer for about six months. I kind of fell into it to be honest with you. So Bookstagram for those of you who don't know or BookTok is a corner of Bookstagram or TikTok, it's not a separate platform and


    Lesley Logan 4:12  

    Oh, so BookTok is like, it's like a corner of TikTok and then Bookstagram is a corner of Instagram. Got it. Okay. 


    Clare Solly 4:19  

    Yes, exactly. If you look up either of those hashtags, if you go on that platform, if you look up the hashtag Bookstagram you'll find it. Same with hashtag BookTok if you're on TikTok, and it's pretty, it's pretty easy to find. I joined because, as you know, I'm a three-time published novelist and I just published a novel in September actually, which you know, I joined in September. I already had established an Instagram for the world of books, and we'll get to that in a second. And I just hopped on, and I was like, oh, this is easy. I'll just go promote my books to people who like books because I knew the hashtag Bookstagram existed because I sort of pedestrianly followed a few people over on my personal account and I laugh because there's this woman who I follow and she has like rooms full of like smudges, which we'll, we can talk about that and I'm going to teach you that word.


    Clare Solly 5:25  

    And I was just like, oh my gosh, I want to fill my house with gorgeous books. But anyway I was on and I was like, let me just simply promote, save the last piece, I just published it, it'll be kind of a cheap way to help get my book out in the world. And then I, like Alice in Wonderland, fell down the rabbit hole. I started out I think with like 500 or 600 followers that were kind of leftover from when I decided in the pandemic that I was going to be a book coach and a money coach. And then so go back and listen to one of Lesley's first episodes. I'm sure you'll (inaudible)


    Lesley Logan 6:00  

    You were a great money coach for us.


    Clare Solly 6:03  

    And I fell down, I took that, that account and I just started following people that I liked. And in somehow promoting my own book, I was like trading with other authors to promote their books and then found companies that do this kind of thing. And somehow ended up with, I don't know where I'll be, when this this podcast actually comes out but like right now, as we're recording this, I'm about to crest 11,000 followers on Instagram.


    Lesley Logan 6:32  

    In six months. Okay, so this is insane. Because you're not a social media coach, you are a Bookstagramer and less than 2% of accounts are growing on Instagram the last time I checked out what that stat was, and you clearly are in the 1%. But also like because you niched you like found a corner and you're focusing on one thing, and also it's something you freakin love to do, you love to read, like you always have loved to read. 


    Clare Solly 6:57  

    I love to read I just got back from vacation, where we were on the beach for six days. Or technically, it was seven and I read seven whole books. While I was, yeah, I mean, novelette like little, like shorter than, like 100 pages or so. Yeah, I like I wasn't reading like Game of Thrones or anything like that.


    Lesley Logan 7:21  

    Right, right. But also like, that's like three books in one anyway, so people should get credit for that. Okay, so what does a Bookstagramer do and then how does that change like what you do? Because obviously, you can't be a, I guess you could, but you're not a book coach and a money coach and a Bookstagramer like you can't of like gone all in. So like, how, yeah, let's talk about that. 


    Clare Solly 7:44  

    So, Bookstagramer, I mean, I'm basically like a hype girl for books, is what it is. There are lots of different ways that people do it. But like, because I read so much and because I'm establishing, I'm doing two things. I'm reading a bunch of books that I like, and I'm also establishing an author community for myself. So again, these are two very, very niche things, but I think people you know, you can take my niche and like, run with it if you want.


    Lesley Logan 8:10  

    I think so.


    Clare Solly 8:13  

    So being a Bookstagramer, I look at books that I like, or I read books that I like, and then I create art around that book. Bookstagram is gorgeous to look at, like you look at people's grids, and like you just want to screenshot them because they're just gorgeous. People are like, this is my life. It's like lifestyles but with books. So this is my gorgeous lifestyle photo with you know, a cup of tea and my book in the middle of it and some beads and yeah, I don't know chocolate like. 


    Lesley Logan 8:46  

    I picture you like either like a theme of gorgeous coffee shops and like a beautiful book or like gorgeous beaches and books and like.


    Clare Solly 8:54  

    Yeah, well, and everybody's got sort of their theme. Like there are people out there that like do colors I have like one we call each other Bookstabesties I have a Bookstabestie who like her theme is always butterflies and bright flowers. And it's just like her grid's gorgeous. So you're, you're basically as a Bookstagramer you're promoting the titles of the books, you're promoting authors, you're promoting other authors, you're promoting yourself. And there's all kinds of things on there, like, people will do things like here's a book stack with my name spelled out in the first letter of every book. So you'll have like, Clare would be like a book that starts with C like, I don't know, Catcher in the Rye and L, Light in the Forest, you know, so like, you have the stack of books and a hand. So yeah, people are doing all kinds of different things. And it's great because it's like, we're all nerding out and loving, like over books and then there's also competitive posts of like, I read 27 books in March and or I have this many books on my TBR that's my to-be-read list for those of you (inaudible).


    Lesley Logan 10:02  

    Okay, I love this and like for just a second I thought, oh my god, what like the sweetest most special part of Instagram? And then oh, here comes the competitive post like it has to get there. There is no there's no play there's no corner of the of social media that doesn't have its competitiveness. 


    Clare Solly 10:18  

    Oh 100% because again, you're still, you're, you're in a box, and you can do whatever you want, and you can be whatever personality you want. I think honestly, though, on like, the nice side of that I have so many people like that AI trend that happened, what was it in like, November, December that everybody was making AI pictures of themselves the Disney Pixar, whatever. 


    Lesley Logan 10:40  

    I definitely didn't, because I thought but someone was just trying to get my data. And I was like, I don't participate in those things.


    Clare Solly 10:47  

    Most likely, probably. But, but everybody like, you know, decided to do that with the Bookstagram. And like, pretty up their page. But it's funny because people like their, their real photos are coming back. And people are, some people are gorgeous like models. And some people are just like, hey, I'm a normal reader. My face is not part of my image. 


    Lesley Logan 11:11  

    She, I think for anyone listening to this, who's like, oh, I don't know what to do like, a Bookstagramer sounds like I don't ever have to take a shower. I could just read them. Like, I'm just like, I never have to match. I don't have to clean up the background. I just have to have a little set for my books. So I'm loving this. I think it's wait. So I just want to say like, you set out to do this because you were like promoting your own book and then also like, nowadays, you guys, here's the sad truth about being an author. It doesn't matter how good a writer you are, you now have to have a following. And how many of those followers will buy your stuff? Because publishers never they'll never take risks anymore. So was it like something you stumbled upon that you were like, like that you got like, this feels like new and shocking, like, did you think that you're gonna have 11,000 followers? You have to promote a new book a day. 


    Clare Solly 12:01  

    I mean, yes-ish. I'm like, I stumbled onto it. And then like it, yeah, I kind of raced towards it to be honest and transparent about it. And I'm like, I feel like it's working well, but it like my KDP Amazon numbers are not necessarily agreeing with me. And also like my Amazon bill from how many books I'm buying versus how many books I'm selling, it's definitely not. 


    Lesley Logan 12:30  

    Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah.


    Clare Solly 12:33  

    I'm not getting paid as a Bookstagramer. I'm getting paid in books. And I feel like I'm like 11 years old again. It's like, hey, do this job.


    Lesley Logan 12:42  

    Do you remember those, like books you would get like, okay, if you send in a self-addressed stamped envelope with five stamps, we're gonna send you these stickers. Like that's what it sounds like. 


    Clare Solly 12:54  

    Yeah. So I went on a chat with somebody and was talking about the were you around for Bookit with with Pizza Hut? Was that I don't know if that was out in California. But it was like, if you read so many books, you could earn yourself a pizza.


    Lesley Logan 13:08  

    Oh, that's cool. We did not have that. But my mom read me 500 books. And so I became like a ferocious reader. But it was a competition in my junior high. Like, what reading level are you and I was so embarrassed because my friends were like, senior reading level in eighth grade. And I was like, Junior reading level in eighth grade. And I was like, there's something wrong with me. I'm not a senior, and I quickly have come to know, it's fine. Everything is fine. (Inaudible)


    Clare Solly 13:36  

    We'll never read them all. And like that's something I have to be okay with. And they're classics you'll never read and they're books that are in my physical house that I will never. Yeah, no, we're not going to talk about Kindle. 


    Lesley Logan 13:49  

    Yeah. You know what, there's Audibles that I will never read. I'm using all my credits. I'm like canceling it. Because I'm forcing myself to get Libby. I'm just like, I'm doing it. I'm supporting the libraries. I'm getting Libby. I want to have you want on to share this because I do think that people go, I have said I was gonna do this thing. I have to do this thing. And they don't let them, they don't let their life evolve. And so I guess I want to know, and maybe you haven't processed it yet, verbally, but like, I guess I want to hear like, what was it like to like, kind of this has taken oh, this a lot of time. Like, it's actually a lot of time to do this. And so to let go of like you built website, I mean, you were doing the book coaching and money coaching, it was like you weren't doing those things for. So to let those things go to like, go and do this. Like, what was that process like? What were you thinking? Like, was there any like, wonder or shame? Like, was there anything like that going on your head? Or is it just kind of easy to let it go? 


    Clare Solly 14:41  

    I think there was, it's funny that you say wonder and shame because those words kind of crossed my mind as you were, as you were asking the question. There was a little bit of both. I mean, I think, I think I probably hit the the crest of the wave or I was on the back of the crest of the wave of everybody starting their own business and in the pandemic and trying to get online and I, I've never been a great salesperson for, especially for myself, it's so hard. 


    Lesley Logan 15:12  

    You're an amazing salesperson, because we were in retail together. But I think where you clarified it for yourself might be, that's hard for a lot of people. 


    Clare Solly 15:22  

    Well, and then I mean, it's also it's hard because I, you know, I'm, like I said, at the top of this podcast, I'm a storyteller first, that's the gift I give myself in this world. And I give, I give support. And like, I'm amused to other people. And that's like, I feel like that's my karmic energy and in this life. And so it's hard to be like, yes, you want to write your book, pay me $500. And I will help push you and cheerlead you to get through writing your own book, when you're the one doing a lot of the work. I'm just here to be that person for you. When I mean, yes, I should monetize myself because it is my time. And as many people who have come on this podcast before me have said, and you've reiterated a number of times, your time is valuable, and you should charge people for it, especially if it's a commodity that you do, or that it's that you're good at, and people want it. But I was not, I was not being fulfilled by it. I was having a lot of people who were sort of interested in it. And then they decided, a lot of folks were like, well, I want to put it into practice, or I want to with the book stuff, they wanted marketing and with the money stuff, they were like, it's a little bit too intangible. And like, what are your results? And it's like, well, you kind of have to have to live it and believe in it to get there. And like, if you're not believing it right now, then, you know, I can't, I can't make you believe it. It's not like, you know, you are saved. 


    Lesley Logan 16:53  

    Yeah, no, I mean, that's the thing. Like, it's also really hard for some of those things like we are working on trying to get tangible results of like money earned from the people that we coach, but also like, I don't, I'm not that kind of person who's like we've helped so and so make seven, like a million dollars (inaudible) this person because the truth is, like, some of those numbers might actually intimidate you to the point that you don't want to work with us. And also, like, some of those numbers might be more than you've ever like that that you want to make. And so like, I know that we've helped make many, many people millions of dollars, but is that what you need to hear? Or do you need to hear that, like, we can help you with like, what your particular goals are and here's how. And I think I'm with you, like a lot of people, especially with money, it's like, there's a lot, there's a lot on there. Like it's not always just like, here's who to invest in, it's also like, habits on around worthiness and belief and money story and, all that stuff. So it's complicated. 


    Clare Solly 17:47  

    Yeah, yeah. And like, my, what I was, was putting out into the world had, you know, a dose or six of woowoo. So like, there's a, there's a specific niche for that. So, and I wasn't, I wasn't finding those people, I wasn't attracting those people, those people weren't finding me. So. And I also got really lucky and transitioned, I was in a job that, that I transitioned within the company. And that actually had a headhunter come out and talk to me, and I moved to a different company that I'm head over heels in love with. And I really, really love my job. And we, you know, we came out of the pandemic, and I was working more in person. And you know, still I'm lucky, I get to work a couple days at home. But the amount of time that I had to focus on my own business was not, was not there. And I also found I would rather spend time working on my theater projects and working on writing new novels and spending time with friends and just sitting on my couch, watching a movie and chilling out and I just didn't want I didn't have enough people that weren't interested. And I also didn't have the interest enough to go to keep pursuing it. Which is fine. 


    Lesley Logan 19:03  

    Yeah, I think that that, like, it's also I love it, it's also okay for it to be fine. And I also like, I think it's okay for something that you tried, and you did, if it's not fulfilling. You know what I mean? Like, you can, I think it's like, it's like the idea, you're just gonna keep hammering at it. Because, you know, I mean, I think a lot of us are like, Oh, I said, I was gonna do this. I said, I'm doing this, I'm gonna just keep going. And that doesn't make it fun either. And so it kind of let you evolve into doing something new. And that actually gives you purpose, and it's fun for you. It feels like it's fun for you. 


    Clare Solly 19:36  

    Well, and I did you know, I mean, it probably should be said, this is something I didn't give up lightly. It's not like I just turned a corner and was like, well, oops, that didn't work. I mean, I spent I spent 1000s of dollars on educating myself and working with my own business coaches and I mean, it wasn't, it wasn't anything that like massively put me in debt or anything like that. I, you know, put it all on credit cards and paid it back within six, eight months and, you know, luckily, I had a day job that I could do that with. But again, it was not, it was not fulfilling enough to me to keep trying at juicing it for money. So, let it go.


    Lesley Logan 20:15  

    Thank you for, I think that's a really, I think it's really good to share that. Also, it doesn't mean, that was for nothing. You know what I mean? Like, I think like, you learn so much from it around organization of your own thoughts and like, what you do, and I think we think it's easy for us to like, go like a sunk cost fallacy. Like we, like human beings are so conditioned to like, hold on to something to like, save what they have, versus they'll spend more try to save what they have and make something happen than they will to just get out. And it doesn't mean it's easy to get out. But also like, there are so many people who would just like keep hiring more coaches and keep trying to make it happen, and by ads and all these things. And so, for you to give yourself permission to just kind of explore something else with your time is really I, do you give yourself a pep talk like do you journal about that? How do you like come up? How did you come up with the idea of like giving yourself more time to explore reading and like sharing your novels?


    Clare Solly 21:13  

    I think it's sort of like Marie Kondo-esque kind of thing. Like, I just was looking at it, at the the work I was putting in and seeing what I was getting out of it and seeing whether or not the joy was worth the time, you know, whatever that mathematical equation might be. And it's, it is interesting, because I don't know that I've ever actually really sat down and processed it. I think I just was like, well, my life is changing. This isn't working. I don't need to be spending more time on it. I think the pandemic was a gift for me, because I was that person that was running, running, running. I was living in an 80-hour workweek between all the things that I do. But I could do that. Because I'm a single woman living in New York City, I had enough of an income that I could support myself in a healthy way. Pandemic made me stop and go, wait a minute, you have to sit in your house for months and figure out what is really important for you timewise. And I found like the like, I had lots of leeches and vampires that were sucking my energy away. And were not fulfilling me back. So I think it was, it's more of a conversation or a more of, and yeah, I think I'm pretty sure I journaled. I could probably, knowing me, I did. But I took a look at my life and what, what was making me smile and what was making me happy and I hated when I would set up a workshop that would be like trying to get some people that were interested in buying and have the free, learn how to write your novel in three months to try or learn how to make money. You know, here's five tips on how to make money in your world for free. 


    Lesley Logan 23:03  

    I just want to interrupt you, but like, I hate doing that launch stuff. It's like not fun. We were doing launch models for years. And for some pre-pandemic, the launch model worked for us in one capacity and was actually really great. But then during the pandemic, because then everybody and their mother was launching something like literally their mother, and everybody were launching something, they need to start doing those, like, here's five ways to make this much and like people want that quick fix. And so that's it you're having to like sell. And we don't do that anymore. And it is it does make it really difficult to grow our business because I don't do before, and I've never done before and after pictures for OPC. But like the only business where we have a launch models on our business coaching, and it seems to work there. And it's just, it doesn't it's not that it feels inauthentic because I only do things that feel really good. But it is really hard to get people to do something that's going to benefit their lives during the window of time you have set aside to support them.


    Lesley Logan 24:05  

    You know, that's what those things are.


    Clare Solly 24:07  

    And it has to be I mean, I got, I got pulled and I don't want to say suckered because like it turns out like a couple of them were really great coaches, but like I, I got pulled into those calls on my own and I was like, oh my gosh, this rainbow and this pot of gold sound amazing. Sign me up. And yeah, I mean, and it works for some people and you have to have a good script and a good energy and a decent product and but it just not and it's so funny because you just said that I'm a good salesperson. I'm a great actor. And for some reason, like I was not able to get any and it was it was disheartening because I was having like 100 people sign up for the call and five show up. And it was the numbers were just gutting me. And I think after I did, I don't know, I want to say it wasn't a ton. I did like 20 of those, like workshop things between the book coaching and the money coaching. And I (inaudible).


    Lesley Logan 25:06  

    That's a lot of that's a hard like thing to not take personally, it's not personal, but it feels personal because like, I'm doing this, I said this, I can help you, and you won't show up, you won't let me help you. And like, yeah.


    Clare Solly 25:18  

    It's also a lot of time, like, it was in 90 minutes each time, and 10 to 20 times, 20 times (inaudible) I stopped thinking about how many it was because it like, it makes my stomach hurt to think how much time I gave up. And like I could have been writing or I could have been like, helping a charity or I don't know, I could have watched how many movies, you know.


    Lesley Logan 25:41  

    But I just so I love that we're talking about this because I don't think I think a lot of people see the not even Bookstagramers or other Instagramers out there like launching things or they'll sell like I say, I made this much money in a weekend and da-da-da. First thing, you don't know how much money they spent on ads to make that much money. I'm just gonna tell you right now, like they could say they had a six figure, you know, launch and they spent, like, they made $100,000, but they spent 90,000 to get there, like you don't know. And so it's really, really important. Like, yeah, they can say that they had a six figure launch, but it cost them a lot to get there. And I, and so, you know, I also like there are a lot of coaches out there who will sell you these things. Like there's a lot of business coaches out there in my industry who are like, I'm helping people make $10,000 a month, I'm like, that's great. And also some people need more than that. And also for some people, that's a lot and they live in Oklahoma, and what you want them to charge to get there is not possible. And I'm not, not to like slide on Oklahoma, it could be anywhere. But like the truth is, is like there's emotional triggers that are, will work on people to make them buy things. And you need to know if you already wanted it in the first place. And this person understand you and they should have testimonials. They also should have people that like literally did it that you have their faces and you can talk to them, and who aren't being paid to talk to you. So like there, I just say all these things, because we've had people in our, in our groups who've like had other coaches for other like offset things, sell them things, and it's like snake oil. And they're, they feel bad when they fall for it. And it's like you didn't actually fall for anything. It was designed for you to make that one decision.


    Clare Solly 27:18  

    Yeah. And, and you know, sometimes, yeah, and oh, yeah. And it just felt bad that being the snake oil salesman, not that necessarily like (inaudible).


    Lesley Logan 27:30  

    Well, you weren't, you were going to help them but you but you felt like you had to do those things is what you're saying because you were not (inaudible). 


    Clare Solly 27:35  

    Yeah. And again, I was very, I was fortunate in the fact that I was kind of like, my next seat on the Ferris Wheel was open. And I could just hop on, you know, hop on that right? Um, so and I realized not everybody is that lucky. But I think I was also sort of, in a way, why no, I was manifesting, like, change. 


    Lesley Logan 27:57  

    Yeah, you were, okay, I want to talk about this. Because even though you don't coach on this, like, I got to be part of like the time when you are manifesting this change to happen. And like, I think a lot of people will because of making decisions around things and spending money and time to make something happen, a project happen, an idea happens a goal happen, you, even though these things were happening, I didn't, I saw you like manifest change in another way without like, kind of not that you weren't, you know, sulking or worrying about this, but you did do that. How? 


    Clare Solly 28:34  

    Oh, I was.


    Lesley Logan 28:35  

    You were. You can wake up, by the way, we can hold many, many emotions at once, guys. But, you know, when you were here recently, we talked about you can't manifest money, but you can manifest change and like, how, what are the, what are those practices?


    Clare Solly 28:52  

    I mean, it's, it's sort of simplistic, but you'd like instead of saying it's so funny, because people are like, I want to win a million dollars, but you get like, it won't happen for you. Because you need to. Going back to all the, and money stuff. Money is energy. Breath is energy. You know, a Snickers bar is energy, not a sponsor. So, you take and you release energy, a hug is energy, right? So you take and you release energy, that's what we do as beings, you know, dogs do it, you know, grass does it, etc. Your cable TV does it. So you need to manifest something well, and again, this is not like a magic wand and it's not going to happen to you overnight. But you need to get really clear on what you want, what your result is. And you need to be able to visualize it. And you and I were talking at the time and you were helping me visualize where I was going and what direction I wanted to go in. And I did a lot of work on that on my own to journaling and meditating and whatever. And you don't have to journal you don't have to meditate, you can do it in whatever way that puts it out into the world. So this is all a little two woo for you. Hi, Brad.


    Lesley Logan 30:16  

    He loves this stuff. Actually, you guys, like we light money candles all the time. But we're intentional. That impact is, in fact, represents.


    Clare Solly 30:25  

    Well, and you have to. And it's funny, because I have a lot of those candles, too. And I have regular candles that I'm still very intentional with when I start the energy for those. So you have to think about what you want. So I don't know why a boat is coming to my head right now. But if you're like, I would love to have a million dollars. Well, that's not, that's too short-sighted. I want to have a million dollars to have a boat. Well, why do you want that boat? You want to have it so you can cruise around the world? Do you want to have it so you can put it in your backyard and have something to brag about? Do you want to have it so you can have freedom? Do you and because you can go out and you can like have? Or do you want it so you can have quiet time? So you can go fish off your boat. So you have to get really clear on the ABC through XYZ of what you want the money, the energy, whatever to do for you. And for me with the job I got really clear on, I still want to serve people, I want a boss or a situation where I am treated with respect and also like delicacy when I need it. But also space to make my own way in the job. But also forgiveness when I mess up because I'm human. And I got really clear on a lot of those things. And I swear to you, my boss, I might have just drawn a picture of her because she has everything. It's funny because I swore up and down I was never going to work for a woman again. And when I started having conversations with her, it was just it like synergy and wonderful. And I you know, it's not a perfect world. I'm not a perfect employee. You know, it's not a perfect situation every single day. But it allowed me to have you know, and I also thought about things like what kind of salary do I want? And what kind of availability do I want to be able to like what days the, you know, not specific days of the week, I didn't get down to that. But you know, what's my work life balance gonna look like and things like that. And it's, you know, it's not quite, quite what I envisioned. But when I get to do like, it seems like everything I asked for is sort of in this space, what I asked for. So you get as clear as you can on what you want, like distill things down until you can't get them to go any further. And that's how you manifest and then you just start thinking about it every moment you get a chance to. Like, I have sticky notes all over my house, I'll find them every once in a while, that will say things that have specific manifestations on them.


    Lesley Logan 33:06  

    I love that. I think, so first of all, I love Post-its and I love, we actually just moved a mirror in our house and now we just like put notes on it because like, you know, with mirror markers and like, it's you know, because it's kind of, it's kind of fun, and it catches you because it's not where you would normally see words. But I, I love that you share like you've got as specific as you can. Because it's really true. Like there was, I forgot, you guys, I forget her name, it's in my Audible, I'm sure my team is gonna know what it is. But there's a book where this woman talks about the story about the more specific you are, the more things happen. And like she talked about, like someone lost a pen. And it was like a specific type of pen that was so expensive. And like she like was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe it's lost because I love this pen, it will come back to me. And sure enough, she walked into a store and there was the exact model and make of this pen. And like this is like the book was written around the 1920s, guys. So like pens were really expensive back then. I don't know. Anyways, it was her pen. And it was like not as expensive as when she like what she thought it would probably somewhat be. But there's another story of this woman who wanted to go on a trip. And she knew exactly the trip she wanted to go on. She knew exactly what it would cost. And she had no money and she called her mom thinking like her mom would loan the money. And her mom was like that trip sounds amazing you should totally go on it. And like that didn't go anywhere. Mom's like, hey, I don't, you know, I think you should go on it but and she didn't have the money and her mom was like why don't you come over here and go like you've got some boxes here you need to pick up and I've got some mail for you. So she goes to her mom's house and she's like, I just want to go on this trip with my friends like I really need to go on this. And she goes to the mail and there was a letter from her old roommates and she opens up the letter and it was a check for her deposit on an apartment that they had years ago and she's like I finally moved out and this money is yours and it was the exact amount of money she needed for the trip. She was so specific about what she needed. So like that's the thing, like you, it really does work and the house I'm sitting in it's five bedroom for a reason. It's exactly the neighborhood I wanted when people go I can't believe you live in Vegas. Do you love it? I'm like, I love it because it's exactly what you manifested. I didn't manifest the money for the house. You know, so, yeah. 


    Clare Solly 35:10  

    That's okay. You can make the money. That's.


    Lesley Logan 35:12  

    Well, no, no, I mean, we got it. We got the money to buy the house. We bought it, guys, it's ours. But like, you know, like, I didn't know, the point is I didn't manifest I mean, you know, $485,000, or whatever it was. I manifested, like, what it would look like and where it was, and we pictured it, Brad, and I know exactly what it's gonna look like. And it looks like that. That's just really fun. So I really love that. Okay, Clare, what are you super excited about right now? Like, what is your like, excitement, joy, what do you?


    Clare Solly 35:38  

    I'm super excited. I got sort of inspired in January to write a new novel. So I have yet another work in progress. I've got about like five books in progress right now. And I'm really excited about that. I'm sort of giving, not sort of, I am giving myself the goal to get the thing written, because I already have 20,000 words. So the thing is, like, 1/4 of the way written, because it's a rom com, and I'm, I just am excited. Like, I need to sit down. I'm excited for time with myself, because the ideas are there. I just need to sit down and write it. Um, what else am I excited for? I'm excited for travel. I've got a couple of I'm planning a vacation. I'm so excited. I'm gonna go to Greece. 


    Lesley Logan 36:19  

    You just came back from a vacation. I love you. I love that. People, you know this, you should take more vacations, you can actually plan one, right after one.


    Clare Solly 36:27  

    Well, vacation is so good for you. Because, well, especially getting out of my house is good because it allows my brain to stop and pause or it gives it kind of a different like jumpstart or like a like, I don't know, like a chiropractic crack. And then I come back and I'm so like, I've stopped looking at my same six walls. And I'm like, wait a minute, I can do all these different things. And so I'm excited when I get to vacate and then come back and get like a jumpstart. Yeah, it's so funny. Like, what am I excited about? I don't know, I've got so many things (inaudible).


    Lesley Logan 37:06  

    I do know, it's like you're not asked that question all the time. But I really love to ask that question of people because like, it's like, oh, there's this thing I actually have been working on and you might have to pull people yet. But anyways, you're going to Greece. I love that I've never been. I hear it's amazing. 


    Clare Solly 37:18  

    Yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to go to London for a couple of days on the way there and then go to Greece. And hopefully by the time, hopefully, I'm gonna manifest this, hopefully it will be taking my completed manuscript with me so I can edit it while I'm flying on all the planes. 


    Lesley Logan 37:35  

    Beautiful. Okay, we're gonna take a brief break and find out where people can find you, follow you, you know get book recommendations from you. 


    Lesley Logan 37:42  

    All right, Miss Clare, what is your Bookstagram handle? Where can people buy your books?


    Clare Solly 37:47  

    You can buy books on Amazon. Save The Last Piece, my most recent one, is also on Barnes and Noble you can just look up Clare Solly. My Instagram handle is youwontbesolly

    , Y-O-U-W-O-N-T-B-E-S-O-L-L-Y.


    Lesley Logan 38:05  

    And also, are your books rom-coms always or like mystery novels? What are your books? 


    Clare Solly 38:10  

    My first novel that I wrote was a time travel mystery novel called The Time Turner. My second novel that I published is called Christmas and Cleats, and it's a cozy Christmas Connecticut story where it's very, very lifetime Hallmarky woman runs a museum and her best friend slash crush from high school comes back to town after being a famous baseball player and they reconnect and madness ensues. And then my most recent novel I wrote is called Save the Last Piece and it is sort of a Devil Wears Prada of the wedding industry. I worked in the events world for almost three years and had so many stories to tell or so many stories that I heard of, I didn't really tell, I mean, yes. So it's all fiction, although, you know, it's stretched and different things happened. And it's a crazy, crazy romp through the world of events. 


    Lesley Logan 39:09  

    Oh, my goodness, I love it so much. So Clare, you've been on the show before. So you've already given us some amazing advice on what's bold, executable, intrinsic and target steps. So you can repeat what you gave us, if you remember it, or you can give us something new. And also, I saw you just face you can give us something new, it's totally fine. We just need something to take action on that for the too long didn't listen all the way or for the person who's like okay, hold on. I love this. What should I do next? 


    Clare Solly 39:35  

    Okay, so I have to tell you, I because I've been working on this for like three weeks since you reached out to me and asked me to do this. And because I'm a recovering people pleaser, and I'm always an A student. I don't want to let down my bestie and I also kind of want to wow Brad, because like I'm always excited to hear on the replays. Brad as well. So I'm trying to hit off all four. 


    Lesley Logan 39:56  

    Oh, do you know what I'm gonna tell you right now you'll be one of very few people who have done all four. So here we go.


    Clare Solly 40:03  

    Here we go. I would say like if you're, if you're trying to like, live your best life, or if you want to get your Instagram, whatever going, Look at what you're obsessed with, what things are reaching out to you, what are, what you are loving, looking at, what you're liking or what is calling you and your life to spend your free time on that. Also use your comparisons and judgments of these things of like people's posts or of other people's lives or whatever. And instead of going, oh, gosh, they are so much better than me turn it around the other way. And use it to build yourself confidence and let it point you in the direction. Why do you think that they're better than you? Or what could you do? What is your magical snowflake-ness that's that's taking you in that direction. That and make sure it fulfills you in some way. And just you know what manifest the shit out of it.


    Lesley Logan 40:57  

    Oh, I love that. I love that so much. I think it's great. I think that's I love that because you know what? Most people would just stop at the comparison part. So you are you gave us a bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted step all in one step. That's so cool.


    Clare Solly 41:18  

    It's so funny because I kept working on it. And then I would like I was doing something like I was folding laundry and I would like run to my phone. I was like new note. 


    Lesley Logan 41:28  

    Okay, so this is so funny because it's kind of like your expert bio. Brad, I have to read a bio all the time guys. I'm sure, Clare you do, too. You have to have a bio all the time. 


    Clare Solly 41:37  

    You remember when we wrote them for each other? 


    Lesley Logan 41:39  

    Oh I do because it nothing will bring me to tears sooner than like someone making me make my bio fit into certain character we haven't done so Brad has taken us over and he like took it over and so you're, every, it's like this, that Be It thing is like having to go oh, hold on, world renowned. That's a better word for that. Like you're running to the node to like, that's a better word for saying this thing. And then he did it in like two paragraphs under 600 words under 200 characters.


    Lesley Logan 42:13  

    So I think I've got all the bios I could need for at least this month.


    Clare Solly 42:19  

    This month is covered. Yeah.


    Lesley Logan 42:21  

    Clare I love you. It's so fun to follow along on your journey. You guys, go listen to the first episode we have and you can listen to you can also see when she did some of the recaps because Brad was out of country and 15 hours ahead and was not that was not gonna work out for us. And so (inaudible) a trip. Oh my gosh, yeah. But you're, you always have a great insight and what I love is like you're, you really do follow your passions and you're really curious about things and it's your, you get excited about things and your books are just different facets of your unique creativity. And I can't wait for this next one to come out. And also, if you're wondering what to read, her Bookstagram can be a great place. So you guys, make sure you tag youwontbeSolly, tag the Be It pod. Let us know how you're going to use these tips in your life. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 43:10  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 



    Lesley Logan 43:38  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 43:53  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 43:58  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 44:02  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 44:09  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


    Brad Crowell 44:12  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    44m - Apr 30, 2024
  • 360. One Step Closer to Ultimate Deck Completion

    In this inspiring episode, host Lesley Logan shares remarkable stories of personal success and transformation from the Be It podcast community. Listeners will hear about Ainsley's journey of persistence and self-advocacy, Megan's triumph in launching her first masterclass, Lori's dedication to mindfulness, and Lesley's own progress with a major project. Each story highlights the power of setting intentions and celebrating achievements, no matter the size.



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Ainsley's determination to follow up on a salary owed.
    • Megan successfully launches her first masterclass.
    • Lori maintains a daily commitment to the Calm app for over three years.
    • Lesley celebrates the near completion of a significant project.


    Episode References/Links:

     

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

     

    DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

     

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

     

     

    Resources:

     

    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    It's Fuck Yeah Friday.


    Brad Crowell 0:01  

    Fuck Yeah. 


    Lesley Logan 0:02  

    Get ready for some wins. 


    Lesley Logan 0:05  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

      


    Lesley Logan 0:46  

    Hello, Be It babe. How are you? Happy Friday. Oh my god, how is it the last Friday in April already? This year is just flying by in the most amazing ways. And I know that that can feel kind of crazy and chaotic. And, you know, it's like we just celebrated spring in our like, people already talking about summer. And you know, for my people in Southern Hemisphere, you're like, please, can we talk about spring because I'd like to get out of this weather that we're in. I'm so excited for you. I'm so excited for where you're going today. Whether you're driving to work, or you're driving home, or maybe you've got something kind of stressful about to go to it, but I'm excited for you because everything is happening for you. It really, really is. And we get to connect the dots looking backwards later on. And that's really, really fun. So if this is your first time listening to FYF, hi. We celebrate wins, I read out wins that were sent in to us. And then I share a win of mine and we get to see how many ways you can celebrate wins. Good ones, things that feel a little off things that like actually feel like a loss, but then they actually turned out to be a win. We got some of those coming up to share with you in the future weeks. So you know, what are your wins? We want to hear them send them into the Be It pod. 


    Lesley Logan 1:58  

    All right, first up is Ainsley. Ainsley is an Agency member and eLevate member she'd been in Cambodia with me. She lights up every room she's in. So she said, this week I got gifted 711 pounds. Yes, it should have been over 14,000 pounds from a salary I'd earned for a company I'd previously worked for 10 years for that with into administration in 2020. But this gift I got because I followed up and refused to accept that I had not received what was due because one human put a line through my name because I was having an operation. It was about me setting boundaries. It's a gift because it's symbolic and full closure of previous chapters. It forced me to pivot and retrain. When I thought I was at my lowest. I was not, that came later. Little did I know it truly was done for me at the time and not to me. Who knew I could be so much happier creating and curating this life. I want to lead not and not have to. So this is the life she wants to live and not have to. Isn't that beautiful? Alright, she said this week I'm fully celebrating with the 711 pounds intentionally, spending every penny so it's not swallowed up by daily bills. My studio got a repaint some new magic circles for group class and the decorator has a cancellation for next week. So is painting my bedroom and kitchen to a new color. Fresh energy, gray be gone. Bedroom represents sleep, common rest. Kitchen represents nourish me and my family. There's 95 pounds leftover from a Lumi ice bath for daily habits. Oh, and a new set of matching mugs represent cup of teas with friends, family chats. These are for me what 2024 are to be about, building on what I have, my skills, my business, my family and my home. Ainsley, freaking way to advocate for yourself. It should have been more but like way to like, just freaking get some for you as you were to. And then to truly and being so intentional about that money. Oh my gosh, it's beautiful. Thank you for sharing this win. Because it's really beautiful to celebrate and I got to picture how you would use that money and I'm just so excited for you. 


    Lesley Logan 3:58  

    Megan Clements who actually was in Cambodia at the same time Ainsley was also a win, she's an Agency member and she wrote, I taught my first masterclass today 10 of 12 spaces filled, super happy with how it went. And I have three more in the series. Way to go, Megan, way to go. I mean, it's so new things even when teaching long time are can be so difficult and like I love that you're celebrating that you got the first one done and that you could have more in that series. So congratulations. 


    Lesley Logan 4:23  

    Lori Watson. She's an OPC member. Oh gee, Agency member, she actually will contribute to OPC workshops and we've got one coming up with her at summer camp and she has a win. My win. I've been consistent on the Calm app for 1096 days. That's three years plus one day. I listen everyday to the Daily Calm in the morning before getting out of bed. I listen to the Daily Jay midday as well as do the Daily Moves. Every evening I listen to the Daily Tip once in bed and sometimes after I will listen to a Sleep Story. Do breathwork in your music. I figured since I've been working out daily anywhere from 10 to 60 minutes since I recovered my 2020 Fusion somewhere around June of 2020, I started adding sessions on the equipment. I would add the mindful piece. Anyway, that's my win. Thanks, LL, for always encouraging me and always believing in me. Lori, you're freaking incredible. And I remember when you started that Daily Calm, and I mean, like 1096 days in a row. And you already do so many things daily. But I love that you have a morning, noon, and night thing that just is truly part of your day and who you are and supporting you in every way. So you've got your movement, you've got your mind, and it's just beautiful. So thank you for sharing. Guys, I want you to know, I know Lori has actually celebrated her Daily Calm days sooner than three years. And I think that's really important to note. But I also love that she keeps celebrating it. The reason why we celebrate things, you guys, is that it actually puts dopamine in the brain and that helps create habits. And so my Agency members, my eLevate members, my OPC members are used to celebrating FYF always. They've been doing it for years. And it's because it's how habits are truly created. That's how they're made. So if you are trying to make something happen in your life you've got to put happiness around it and epic celebrations around it. And also the reason why we do FYF is like, my goodness at the end of the week, instead of looking at what you haven't done yet what you got done, right What did you do? 


    Lesley Logan 6:17  

    So a win of mine. Okay, this win is a little bit long time coming to celebrate actually did it a few weeks ago, but I have not celebrated it with fully with you. And so I'm also just not done celebrating it yet because it was a freaking ton of work like a shit ton of work. But I got the draft first draft done of the flashcards and they are on the Design Cards Online where we set everything up before we hit print. It's a really big deal because this is like the biggest step into getting closer to hitting print on this deck. This deck was a big beast of a deck. I mean, they're all big beasts of a deck but like the Mat Deck was like mat, the Reformer Deck felt like a beast, the Cadillac Deck I was just like, oh what did I get myself into, the Chairs Deck, I was like okay, I think I got it going, the Barrels Deck did was like it felt like a Cadillac Deck again, there's just like so many different parts to it. There's four different pieces of equipment in this deck, which is really, really huge. And I had to do the photoshoot after writing them instead of before. There's something nice about having the visual picture that goes with the thing and I had to do it the reverse because I was waiting for some equipment to be built. This has been a journey. And I'm so, so excited that we're one step closer to this deck being completed. But do you see, I'm not waiting for a deck to be completed to celebrate it, I'm celebrating that this biggest obstacle the biggest hurdle to getting closer to it being printed is done and now the reviews start so that means a contemporary teacher reviews them a non-teacher, non-client reviews them then I do a double check on them to make sure that they make sense. And then they actually go to a printer. And then we get to like see the kind of draft of it like what its gonna look like on the cards make sure we like the order of everything. And then it gets to you where you can actually do pre-sell. So anyways, big, huge, humongous win and I should have celebrated a few weeks ago but I'm celebrating it with you now. So I don't worry. I celebrated a ton at home. As soon as it was on I did a jump, jumping up and down and I went on a camping trip. So thank you all for those who do celebrate and support the flashcards we make, we make them for you, trust me I do not make them for me. I would not spend 500 hours writing if it was for me. So I'm just, I'm so excited for these to be in your hot little hands. 


    Lesley Logan 8:34  

    So now the mantra part of our talk today and then you get to go off and celebrate your wins and I hope you send them to me so I can share them on the pod because when you get to hear them, it's like they happen a few months or weeks ago and then when you hear them you get to re-enjoy that win, it's pretty cool. I love that I love what I love. I love that I love what I love. I love that I love what I love. Oh I love that. Don't you love that? I love that I love what I love. Well, I love you. And I love that I love that. You are amazing you bring me so much joy and thank you so much for being a Be It pod listener, for leaving reviews for sharing this podcast with a friend and until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 9:20  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 

      


    Lesley Logan 9:48  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 10:03  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 10:07  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 10:12  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 10:19  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


    Brad Crowell 10:22  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    10m - Apr 26, 2024
  • 359. Powerful Ways to Align Your Habits with Your Goals

    Brad and Lesley delve into Jordan Dunin’s journey of recovery and discovery—exploring his emphasis on self-ownership, identity transformation, and the power of envisioning your goals. Join the conversation and discover insights on how to empower yourself to overcome challenges and manifest your aspirations. 



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Recognize how your actions or mindset may be contributing to the issues you face.
    • The value of coaching as a guided pathway towards overcoming challenges.
    • The impact of daily habits on our identity and overall outcomes.
    • The importance of visualization and feeling it in order to be it.  


    Episode References/Links:

     

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

     

    DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

     

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

     

     

    Resources:

     

    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Brad Crowell 0:00  

    He said he thinks that habit change and identity is something that really leads to success. It comes down to what we do day to day and if we do something tomorrow different than we did today, so yeah for us I mean, this is literally the be it. This is being it till you see it. 


    Lesley Logan 0:20  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

      


    Lesley Logan 1:01  

    Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the influential convo I had with Jordan Dunin in in our last episode. If you haven't yet, listened to that episode, you can listen to it now and then come back and listen to our takeaways. You can listen to our takeaways as your spoiler alerts for what you're gonna listen to on that one. It's kind of fun. I know people listen to all the podcasts at least once some of them have gone back through the whole library again, which is kind of insane because this is episode 359. Holy fucking Molly. Today is April 25th. It is Love Your Thighs Day. About Love Your Thighs Day. Love your thighs. Whoo. Love Your Thighs is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of April every year and this year falls on April 25th. Women all over the world have a love hate relationship with their bodies. They're constantly encouraged to love their bodies and society where beauty standards have been predefined and sometimes unreachable. Love Your Thighs Day seeks to mitigate this and tell all women around the world that no matter what your bodies look like they should love them because it's theirs to cherish. And one of my favorite clothing lines that I like to wear has a shirt that says fuck a thigh gap. And another one that says like thick thighs save lives. And I just love them. I think what I get frustrated with is that we had a couple of years where the media was not talking about toning and slimming and burning belly fat. And we're back to that bullshit. And it's so annoying to try to be an educator in a world where the media wants this stuff. And guess why they want this stuff because it sells magazines. So please stop fucking buying that shit. If you want it to stop, we have to as a collective say I don't want an article on how to slim my thighs. I want an article how to love my thighs. I don't want an article on how to tone my arms in five minutes, I actually want an article on how to strengthen my arms so that I can be older in this world and have a great time in menopause. We are a huge amount of people that can demand what we want. So we need to, this is my call to action, demand it from these publications because I'm pissed off about it and I'm sure my publicist is like you've just stopped telling us like there's no such thing as that that can never happen and here's what you can do. Okay.


    Brad Crowell 3:09  

    Nice. 


    Lesley Logan 3:10  

    Anyways, I'm just on a pedestal over here just a little pissed off.


    Brad Crowell 3:13  

    Yeah, upcoming events and travel.


    Lesley Logan 3:14  

    So, tomorrow, literally tomorrow, we are going to be at POT, that's Pilates On Tour, Balanced Body's Pilates On Tour Phoenix, April 26th to the 28th. Come see us in person we have a booth. The May is just literally around the corner and so the May Accelerator, you can go to prfit.biz/accelerator. That is our two-hour workshop that Brad leads that will help you grow your studio. So if you are an instructor or studio owner that works for yourself, this workshop is for you. And it's not just where you get thrown up on an information that you'll then go back to work and never integrate.


    Brad Crowell 3:45  

    No, it's an actual workshop. We're going to work on your stuff together in the workshop. It's gonna be good it's gonna be for people who are new to teaching or people who've been, had a studio for 20 years and they're just kind of feeling like okay, I've got my clients but the needle is not moving. This workshop is also for you, too.


    Lesley Logan 4:00  

    Yeah. And then also happening in May is another early bird for Cambodia because October trip is so sold out, it's so sold out so you have to actually sign up for the February opportunity and those on the waitlist are going to get the early bird if you're not on the waitlist you're just going to hear about Cambodia, but when you actually can sign up for it, it will be full price. And the last one almost sold out on early bird. So just saying, you want to think about that. So go to lesleylogan.co/retreats to get on that waitlist. And finally upcoming is our June OPC Summer Camp. Oh my gosh, it is, okay, I think it's eight events each day. We have OPC teachers and guest teachers who are all OPC members and we have workshops and workouts. I'm leading a workout and a workshop and other people are leading their workshops or workouts. We've got something for everybody, hyper mobile, strength building, reformer workouts, tower workouts, mat workouts, soccer, runners, like we've got something for everybody so you want to go to opc.me/events opc.me/events stay on the waitlist because if you're an OPC member, you get the best early bird you will just give me email for that. And if you're not an OPC member and you're on the waitlist, you'll get the second best early bird but if you're not an OPC member and you're not on the waitlist, you get the third best early bird which is not the same as the first best or second best. So get on the waitlist. opc.me/events 


    Brad Crowell 5:19  

    opc.me/events all right.


    Lesley Logan 5:21  

    Okay, we have an audience question before we get into Jordan's episode. 


    Brad Crowell 5:25  

    We do from YouTube. Sofia asked, should you wear grip socks to Pilates? Are they necessary? 


    Lesley Logan 5:32  

    Yeah, so I love this question so much that we actually did a whole live on it for our YouTube channel because it's really appropriate for our subscribers over there. So if you are a YouTube subscriber first of all, thanks so much. For the OPC subscriber, you can subscribe to this podcast and we thank you for that too, especially if you want to see what's happening behind this microphone. 


    Brad Crowell 5:51  

    Yeah, this podcast has its own YouTube channel. 


    Lesley Logan 5:53  

    Yeah, yeah. But on the Online Pilates Classes YouTube channel, I actually answered this in a very a lot of detail. But do you so here's a quick story, do you need to wear grip socks, not unless it's a studio mandatory thing. So if you're at your own home, you don't need to your bare feet are unless you have sweaty feet are going to be great and super solid and not very slippery. That being said, if you have super sweaty feet, or you're going into a public studio, grip socks are really great and a lot of studios require them, I require them because people's toenail polish was like rubbing off on my equipment, but a lot of people require them because of germs. Just like you know, like you're stepping on the dirty floor that people just walk past to go the bathroom, you know what I mean? Like just the grip socks are really great. They also do ensure that your feet are sticky on the equipment. Most importantly, don't wear regular socks if the socks don't have grip on them or the grip has gotten old time for new socks. And we have ads on the show every single week about Toesox and Tavi socks. I am an ambassador for them. And so if you just go to toesox.com or Tavi Active, you can actually use my code Lesley L-E-S-L-E-Y to get a discount on anything. And that includes their Vooray bags, by the way. So like, go get some sox go get some sticky socks, and they're really great. Some people use them (inaudible). They have really cool bags. Really, really cool bags. So anyway, Sofia, I love this question. I went into more detail on the YouTube channel. So we'll make sure that link is there if you want to actually see me talk about the socks and explain more details about how the socks can actually help you over there. For you guys who have questions, there's no question that's off limits, we will answer it. It's a great way for us to get to know you, for us to support you, for us to help you with what's going on. So ask a question, it can be Pilates, it can be business, it can be life, can be you know, somebody asked the other day what what shorts I was wearing? And I was like, yeah, and I was like, okay, let me see what shorts I was wearing. So, you know, we're here to help.


    Brad Crowell 7:11  

    Reach out, you know, reach out, lots of ways to do that. Okay, now let's talk about Jordan Dunin. Jordan Dunin's life took a dramatic turn following a serious accident in 2016, leading to a traumatic brain injury in a battle with chronic Lyme disease. Today, he's the founder of HatchPath, and a passionate life coach. Jordan uses his journey of recovery and discovery to empower others, emphasizing his roles as a father and half marathoner in his mission to foster wellness, human connections and support others in their own health challenges. Pretty dramatic story.


    Lesley Logan 7:50  

    Oh, my god. First of all, I can't believe he didn't die. 


    Brad Crowell 7:54  

    Yeah, if y'all have not listened to the episode, he banged his head. And it was like, I don't know. It sounds like it was a pretty intense bang on the head. But somehow the hospital released him. And he literally was working in finance, he went back to work and was like, I can't see my computer screen. 


    Lesley Logan 8:48  

    Yeah, no (inaudible).


    Brad Crowell 8:48  

    He dropped out of college. 


    Lesley Logan 8:50  

    Yeah, just life changing. And I mean, there was some reasons like he part of it was like, he didn't want to admit how hurt he was. 


    Brad Crowell 8:57  

    Right. Sure. 


    Lesley Logan 8:57  

    And you know, doctors can't help what they can't see. So anyways, it was just a lot. But he has turned that around. And then taken, like, what he saw as a problem is like, hey, it's really hard to figure out who to hire like where these coaches are, like, all this stuff. And he created Hatch, which is like, is really awesome. But before we get into that one thing I liked that he said is like, we are the only constant of all of our problems. That's what a lot of his coaches said. And so in 2020, he was the leading factor to his illness. And so he said, whatever your problem is, you are there, or you are part of it in a way. 


    Brad Crowell 9:34  

    Yeah, whatever your problem is, you are there. You're in the middle of it. Yeah, I think it's really easy to do this. I mean, this is effectively stories that we tell ourselves, you know, and we talk, we talk about this so many times in the pod of like, okay, this is what I'm telling myself. So I'm, you know, I'm believing this thing. And 


    Lesley Logan 10:00  

    Well, we put the problem outside of ourselves, like, we don't have control of it like, oh, my injury caused X, Y and Z. 


    Brad Crowell 10:06  

    Well, yeah, that too. But I mean, even the story of like, oh, well, it's not that bad. You know, like, maybe that's what he was telling himself. Which is why he wasn't taking action.


    Lesley Logan 10:16  

    Yeah. And so I think like,


    Brad Crowell 10:20  

    I think it's like denial. 


    Lesley Logan 10:21  

    Well, a lot of us or a lot of us do this all the time. And it doesn't have to be on such a grand scale that he experienced it. But like, anytime you are saying, oh, because, like, you know, we coach teachers, and when, like, when my clients won't reschedule their own sessions. Okay. Well, you're part of that problem. 


    Brad Crowell 10:37  

    That's right. 


    Lesley Logan 10:37  

    You are, you are, and I get they're 70. Guess what? 


    Brad Crowell 10:40  

    Well, you know what my coach said to me, which was tough. I said, I've got this developer who, like, just isn't delivering his work on time. And my coach said to me, well, how does that help you? Why are you allowing that to happen? And I was like, what? It doesn't fucking help me. And I'm not allowing it to happen. He's like, well, you are allowing it to happen, he still works for you. What are you talking about? I was like, oh, how's it helping me? Why am I not addressing this problem? It must be easier for me to not address the problem than it is to have the results of what I wanted from this guy. Right? And I was like, that was tough for me to kind of wrap my head around and tough for me to swallow. You know, same thing, though. That's like, wherever your problem is. You are there.


    Lesley Logan 11:26  

    Yeah. And I think like to go back to my story, because we have, (inaudible) business leaders listening to us. I get that your 70-plus-year-old clients don't want to learn technology. I'm gonna tell you right now, their fucking microwave is more complicated than your scheduling tool, like their dishwasher. Like they have things in their life that they have figured out because they had to or they wanted to, and if they choose not to, and you want to like, okay, I want them as a client, you can say the only way I can reschedule you is in person. That's it, I'll do it. But it has to be during your session time. It's going to cut into your session time. And I'm not going to do it outside of your session time. So guess what? They will figure it out the moment they need to change it. 


    Brad Crowell 11:26  

    They sure fucking will because it's annoying. 


    Lesley Logan 12:06  

    I'm telling you they will. And if your scheduling tool is complicated, get a new one. Get one that's not get one that is pretty simple. Because it should be easy for the user and you complain about they won't do it. And it's multiple days, you're allowing this problem to happen. 


    Brad Crowell 12:19  

    Yep. Yep. Jordan said the way he looks at coaching is that it's a path. Right? And because it's really interesting, we haven't talked about HatchPath, yet, but effectively, he was out there trying to find help for himself. And he said there was no real database of vetted, like, vetted coaches like and coaches isn't necessarily life coaching, it could have been exercise or you know, mindset or 


    Lesley Logan 12:47  

    You're just Googling whoever's the best better SEO which means, you gotta pay to play like 


    Brad Crowell 12:51  

    It doesn't make them the top-qualified thing. And you know, there was no real trusted resource. And he said, now, today, what HatchPath is, is a, basically a platform where they interview different coaches in across five different topics. Like, I can't actually remember them, but it's like fitness, spirituality, mindset, stuff like that. And they have these conversations with these coaches before they allow the coach to list themselves on the platform. And he said, when he interviews them, and he's looking for coach with empathy, right, that's like a really, really big sticking point for him. And he said, the best coaches, coaches, something that they've already overcome themselves. So that's why today he coaches people on Lyme disease, because he overcame Lyme disease. And he said, there are coaches who coach on anxiety, weight loss, weight gain, there's no one size fits all for health. 


    Lesley Logan 13:47  

    That's so true. 


    Brad Crowell 13:48  

    Which is why he has all sorts of different coaches on the platform, which I thought was really interesting. 


    Lesley Logan 13:53  

    Yeah, I love that he took this problem then created a solution. And not only is it allowing him to potentially help more people for what he specializes in, it's actually allowing people, all these coaches can be in one place and they're vetted. And then also, all these people can go and it makes me so excited, because what if the Lyme person like recovers from that, but then wants coaching on something else they don't have to, like, start fresh and find something new, they can actually go throughout what has been created for them to help them all succeed. I just think it's great. I think everyone wins on this. 


    Brad Crowell 14:24  

    Yeah, I feel like our insurance system tried to do this with doctors and like having doctor's profiles, and, you know, there's all these, there's websites and all this stuff on that. And you know, that that's like the beginning of this idea, because, you know, a coach doesn't have to be a doctor, right? So they have more than 200 coaches on there now, and they've, he said that they're spread out across like 19 different niches. And that includes things like you can read up on the coach ahead of time. You can understand their credentials that what I specialize in also there's reviews, and then you know, you can actually I find different coaches for different things even. So, clever, really interesting. I like the idea of it. And I also agree with you I love that kind of rolled out of his own need. And his own, you know, the things that he was able to win. 


    Lesley Logan 15:13  

    I think like we, you probably heard this a million times, is called like your message is your message. And like, you know, the obstacle is the way. And the reality is like, I love having these people on who share like, whoa, what the hell happened to you? And now look what path it's put you on? And so I love this called HatchPath. Because anyways, the link will be in the show notes for you to actually go check it out if you are a coach who wants to be on it, or you're wanting to find a coach? 


    Brad Crowell 15:39  

    Yeah. All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items what bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Jordan Dunin? Okay, Jordan said, what the things that we do daily become us. That was like kind of like a rude awakening. It's like, oh, shit, that's


    Lesley Logan 15:59  

     You are what you eat and what you do. 


    Brad Crowell 16:01  

    True. Because the concept of, of a cure is so fickle. The only way we change is when we change. He said it took 20 years to get sick, it took him his body 20 years to get sick. And he's like taking this pill for two weeks isn't going to fix that. It's a process to do the reverse of whatever it was that took you to the place you're in now. That's like, literally with anything, any change you want to make. It took you time to get to that point. And it's going to take you time to shift away from that. So. 


    Lesley Logan 16:35  

    Be kind to yourself. 


    Brad Crowell 16:36  

    Yeah and I think you're right. Being kind to yourself is really understanding that it's a journey. It's a path and he talked about coaching as a path. He said that the biggest thing that was helpful for him was when he began to change his identity, right? He was associating himself as someone who was sick. And so because he's sick, I can't do this thing, right, or it became this limiting factor. And he shifted into a different identity, where hey, okay, I am sick. But that doesn't define me. That's not who I am. I happen to be sick, but I am still Jordan. You know, he said he thinks that habit change and identity is something that really leads to success, it comes down to what we do day to day, and if we do something tomorrow different than we did today, so, yeah, for us, I mean, this is literally the be it. This is being it till you see it. You know, this is taking what bold, executable intrinsic or targeted steps can you take, you know, making these small changes on a daily basis will help you move to a different spot, you know, mentally or physically or any of those things.


    Lesley Logan 17:52  

    Yeah. Well, the next step is to envision a goal. And then he want you to envision you have everything that you want in that like everything you want is there, envision it, and then this is the most important part. How does it feel? 


    Brad Crowell 18:07  

    How does it feel? 


    Lesley Logan 18:09  

    And then he wants you to feel that right now. And then go after it because you can, the feeling sometimes we like 


    Brad Crowell 18:18  

    I just got chills. 


    Lesley Logan 18:18  

    I know. So remember, remember way back to episode three. 


    Brad Crowell 18:23  

    Oh, geez. 


    Lesley Logan 18:23  

    Our dear, dear friend, episode three, whose name is escaping me, but he's so handsome. And he is so nice. And we've had him on many times on the podcast many times


    Brad Crowell 18:34  

    Alex.


    Lesley Logan 18:35  

    No, Alex, Alex was five or seven. This is episode three.


    Brad Crowell 18:40  

    Episode Three, Rob Mack.


    Lesley Logan 18:43  

    Rob Mack. Rob Mack talked about how like you don't get to see the whole staircase you can see the first step and what I love about feeling into a goal is it really does help you make the next step because you can go off of like okay does like let's just say you want to like be a biohacker. Okay, how does a biohacker feel? And it's like, okay, biohackers, like, take a cold shower and like, okay, feel it, like, okay, they take cold showers like how's that feel? And then you won't take a cold shower and doesn't feel like that. Maybe you need to do a cold plunge or maybe you need to do cold room or maybe you need to just like do the feet only. And that's just like a really made-up thing. But like feeling into that goal. Having it now makes it easier for you to judge should you say yes or no to something because you might not be able to the full staircase yet. But you can feel something you can feel the energy from the other person is going to participate. And if it doesn't feel like the energy you had when you envisioned your goal, it, it makes it that vision doesn't have to be perfect. But your feeling is something that you can go off of your gut instinct more. I love that.


    Brad Crowell 19:44  

    I think also, you know, he was talking about the 500 square foot apartment in New York where you lay in marble floors at the end of the day. It's still a 500-square-foot apartment. And he said what if there were no limitations about around that, like, imagine when you're when you're envisioning your goal? Think bigger and then how does that feel? I feel like we don't feel, you know, these goals, we just write it on a wall. And we're like, yeah, I want to, you know, make money like this, or I want this car, or this thing or whatever. And but then we don't actually imagine what it's going to be like, you know, when you are there. And that is like, I think, you know, you talk about habits, you talk about changing habits, associating. Like, the habit has to feel good, or you won't continue to do it, your body will just won't allow you to do it, your brain won't won't want to do it, so you won't make it a habit. So if you can feel that vision, you know, and it's positive for you. What is it going to do? It's gonna make you want to go there to get that to be it.


    Lesley Logan 20:55  

    So, feel it to be it. I'm Lesley Logan. 


    Brad Crowell 20:59  

    And I'm Brad Crowell. 


    Lesley Logan 21:00  

    Thank you so much for listening to this podcast and you've been one of our listeners, it just, it really means a lot to me. Thank you for writing reviews and sending your favorite takeaways. I love, I love I love how are you getting them to me? You get them to me in some random places. And it's a fun like Easter egg hunt. And I just adore you all so, so very much. Thanks for being with us for 359 episodes. So how are you going to use these tips in your life? We want to know. Tag Jordan Dunin. Tell him. Tag the Be It Pod so we can share it. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Brad Crowell 21:28  

    Bye for now. 


    Lesley Logan 21:30  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 



    Lesley Logan 21:57  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 22:12  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 22:17  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 22:22  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 22:29  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


    Brad Crowell 22:32  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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    22m - Apr 25, 2024
  • 358. Remarkable Strategy to Reclaim Identity in the Wake of Disease

    Jordan Dunin shares the profound story of his struggle and ultimate triumph over a traumatic brain injury and chronic Lyme disease. Overcoming tremendous challenges, including intense depression and physical adversities, his story unfolds as a powerful showcase of perseverance and transformation. Discover how he transformed his adversity into strength, ultimately founding Hatch Path, and creating a platform that offers support for others. 



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • The complex triggers of Lyme disease and the journey to diagnosis.
    • The physical and emotional toll of surgeries and injuries.
    • How the right coach can guide you onto a path to recovery.
    • The power of reshaping habits and identity for life's transformation.
    • The mission and impact of Hatch Path in holistic health coaching.
    • The mindful steps to craft and pursue your envisioned future.


    Episode References/Links:


    Guest Bio:

    Jordan Dunin, founder of HatchPath, embodies the essence of resilience and transformation. His personal journey through the depths of Chronic Lyme Disease and a Traumatic Brain Injury not only tested his limits but also unveiled his true strength. Jordan's path to recovery, significantly aided by a health coach, ignited a passion within him to empower others facing similar battles. As a Certified Health and Life Coach, Jordan now dedicates his life to lighting the way for individuals seeking healing and empowerment. HatchPath, born from his trials and triumphs, serves as an inspiration for those navigating their way through health challenges, aiming to foster lives filled with purpose, joy, and boundless potential. Through his work, Jordan aspires to demonstrate that real change is not only possible but within reach for everyone. His commitment to HatchPath and its mission showcases his belief in the transformative power of guidance, empathy, and community support in creating profound, lasting change in people's lives.

     

     

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    Episode Transcript:

    Jordan Dunin 0:00  

    Every time I took a step in that direction, people were telling me that you're going the wrong way, you're gonna fail, or that's not gonna work, you're just gonna get sicker. That's, that can't cure you, that's, that's impossible. Like, talking about nutrition or I did some resonance therapy, which is like, like energy healing. And people were consistently telling me it's a waste of time, or a waste of money or a waste of resources. And not only was the worry in my head that it's not going to be enough was that tough, but it was also going against what everybody around me was saying was a little hard. But I have Lauren, my, my now wife, and she was always in my corner. But for people that are struggling and wanting to change something, I think that the hardest thing to do is to get rid of the opinions of others because that's, that's tough. 


    Lesley Logan 0:49  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 1:31  

    Oh my gosh, Be It babe. Okay. So I find it's important to share interesting stories where there's an overcome of challenge. Because I think it's so easy to look at people building businesses building things and think they have it all together, their life has been so easy. And not everyone shares with you their journey to get to where they are. And I'm not saying that they have to. Also, because sometimes people just don't want to repeat the story that they've already told. But I think and like today's episode, especially, it can maybe help you understand that pretty much most people create things based on the journey that got them there. And I find that some of the best inventions, and the greatest things that I've you know, especially in my life that have happened, have all if I look back as hindsight that 2020 I can see that came from this version of a rock bottom. And I share this with you because I've met a few people in like in a rock bottom zone, and they just want it to be over. And I really love to say like, you know, if this is your rock bottom, like do not, do not wish it over. Like do not wish it never happened because some of the greatest things in your life are going to come from this, right? So today's guest is Jordan Dunin, Founder of HatchPath and it's a really cool company, I'll let him tell you all about it. And like what it's meant to do and what it's designed for. But also, like, if you're watching this on the YouTube version of it, you're gonna see my face just like, like I get more and more stunned as he tells a story of what he overcame. And I think it's important for you to hear that because I know that you're probably going through something right now. Or you're just, you feel like you're on the other side of it and you're wondering, like, why did that happen? What am I supposed to do next? Or maybe you forgot how far you've come. And maybe this episode can be a reminder that you're doing amazing things. And being it till you see it is not the easiest thing to do. And it doesn't mean that it's all shiny roses and rainbows and sometimes you're being it till you see it and then you go cry in your bed a little bit because it's hard to become that version of you that you believe you are meant to be. I hope you'll like today's episode. And here's Jordan Dunin. 


    Lesley Logan 3:40  

    All right Be It babe. I'm so excited for our guest today, Jordan Dunin is here and off camera, off recording, we've just realized that like, you know, everything that looks like it's all together and organized. There's like all these apps for everything. And really, it just makes us all realize like, we can have very different lives and all need a different app to make sure the dogs are in the house, the babies are asleep. I'm just really impressed by you, Jordan, how organized you are. And I'm so excited to talk with you about coaching and your life to that. So can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at? 


    Jordan Dunin 4:11  

    Yeah, thank you so much for having me. First of all, and I'm Jordan. I am, I guess my title is the founder of HatchPath. But I'm a dad. I'm a life coach. I just ran a half marathon. So I guess I'm a half marathoner. And most importantly, I guess I'm human. But that being said, my journey all started in 2016 when I suffered a traumatic brain injury, so I dove off a dock at a friend's cottage so I'm from Canada. So up north, we have a bunch of lakes and is called Muskoka. For those of you that know it. It's a lot of fun. But I hit the bottom and I actually compressed fractured my entire C spine. I tore off my rectus capitis. I needed 15 staples in my scalp. And I slipped suffered a traumatic brain injury. Pretty, I was pretty embarrassed about it. So I didn't tell anybody really. And I skipped all the imaging and at the time I was working in finance. So all the numbers on the screen are really smaller and smaller, I was popping Advil at the desk. This is before I became into health, obviously. And I was going to my final year of university, I was always a Dean's List scholar. And my parents were in Africa at the time. And I remember texting them saying, hey, I quit school. And I'm in my fourth and final year of my business degree. And then I got home and never felt depression before and I had to watch all my friends graduate while I was sick at home, and then in 2017, I was actually diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease. And for people with Lyme. I know there's a lot so I'm sure there's some listening, it typically becomes active after a trauma. So mine was physical. I think the emotional side actually triggered it more. But it can be through relationship trauma, childhood trauma, physical trauma, your immunity gets suppressed so far that the virus or the bacteria they think actually becomes active. So I was diagnosed in 2017. Over a four-year period as a net caller for four years lost 70 pounds, I was extremely depressed and pain every day. I was told I had multiple surgeries I didn't want to have including one that was to repair a ruptured artery and my sinus. 


    Lesley Logan 6:13  

    Oh my god, this isn't, okay, like, if you are watching us on YouTube, my face is just like, okay, there's because I'm just like, you hit your head. And you're like, trying to be cool. Like, I'm good. I'm fine. I can't believe the hospital even let you be good and fine. Like, can you believe it? And then you just tried to live your life with like a compressed C-spine. And like, all this stuff, and it was basically like, so, so just because I want to understand this. Do they think you already had the Lyme disease and the hit of the head triggered it to become active or was it the emotional trauma afterwards? Like when did the what did you catch Lyme do you know?


    Jordan Dunin 6:52  

    I think it like we have to back up like a decade. So, like previously is always getting sick. In the winter I was like becoming antibiotic resistant for the amount of antibiotics that I was prescribed as a child that I thought I was diagnosed with bronchitis really young. So every winter I was on like high doses of antibiotics and it just cycled into sinus infections, ear infections. And just every time I was sick, there was a drug for it. And that's Western medicine for you. There's a drug for everything. And then, okay, fast, fast, fast, fast forward to the incident, I was at school, I was kind of trying to take care of myself who'd been like three years away living from home. And my lifestyle was great. Like it was a lot of partying, it was a lot of not eating anything that has any nutritional value. And I think it was kind of burning the candles at both ends. And I don't know how I contracted the illness. A lot of people say that it's a tech, I'm more open to the fact that it can be airborne, sexually transmitted, you name it, I think that there's a number of ways that it can be contracted. I've never been or I never knew that I was bitten by a tick if it was but the running theory is that my trauma activated it. But I've always had awkward blood panels I've always had like insane inflammation markers. I was always like


    Lesley Logan 8:07  

    So there was always something kind of there and they were just putting the pieces together because Lyme is very tricky from what I understand for any even if you know you got bit by a tick, it's very tricky diagnose. Okay, so your parents are African, you're like quitting school. And then you end up having multiple surgeries and like your life just changed, went from being a young, active person to like, you know, having multiple surgeries like that's really hard to go through.


    Jordan Dunin 8:29  

    Yeah, the first surgery was because I had an MRI on my head and they figured out some damage and they actually saw that my sinuses were filled with infection. And it was they were like you cannot physically heal until you remove this infection. So the first surgery I didn't know any better than to listen to the doctors they went in they drilled out my entire like sinuses. And four weeks later actually ruptured an artery above my left eye, it was like a faucet of, too much information but, is like a faucet of blood and I spent the night in emerg and then they thought they're gonna have to take my eye out to stop the bleeding. 


    Lesley Logan 8:30  

    Oh my god. 


    Jordan Dunin 8:58  

    I went into surgery thinking that they're going to take my eye out. Anyways, they ended up being able to go up through my nostril and cauterize the artery. And that was kind of the start of everything because at that time, my head was actually relatively okay, like, depending on the trauma, but it was getting worse. So I started to see a chiropractor, and the chiropractor had the theory that they could crack my neck enough times that I would be healthy. 


    Lesley Logan 9:40  

    I'm so worried. 


    Jordan Dunin 9:41  

    I don't know the theory behind that. But I saw this person for a long time. They're actually really intelligent. And I think it was just a poor case for them because the trauma to my neck was magnificent if that's a word. And at the time, it felt really good to get my neck cracked but then I found out that my neck became kind of hypermobile. And I think the actual word for that is unstable. And we didn't know that I had like, compressed fractured my spine at that time either. So then we found out through like more imaging that I had an unstable spine and I had lost the curvature it becomes straight from and then, yeah, and then I tore my rectus capitis off the back of my head, which is the muscle that turns your head. 


    Lesley Logan 10:26  

    So you're just like, how old? So your like, 22, 23 at that time?


    Jordan Dunin 10:31  

    Yeah, I think it was, I think it was 21-ish, then.


    Lesley Logan 10:34  

    Oh, my gosh. And so that's really like, it's a lot of different people trying to like help what is a complex situation. First of all, I'm looking at you, you, I obviously saw you get up walk around your head turns like how did we get to like, because I feel like when your life stops, because your body is no longer feels like your own, it can be really difficult to even think about a future. And so you know, I'm just kind of curious, like, how do we how, what was that like to get, go through these surgeries, injuries, all this stuff, trauma. And also still like, think about what you want to do in your life outside of that. 


    Jordan Dunin 11:09  

    There was no, I was the most negative person I think you would ever meet in the world. I had to learn positivity from my my now wife, Lauren. But at the time, it was like, why me, everybody's against me, kind of isolating myself, removing myself from friends that truly cared. But I just I was just so angry. I was so angry that they got to live their life and I didn't, and that the future looked really bad. It looked like I was going to be handicap the rest of my life that I would never have to be able to hold a job that I have to depend on my parents for the foreseeable future. I actually didn't see a future. That's the negative thing. I think a lot of people go through when they're sick is that the concept of a future contains their illness or their injury. And I, I had that condition where it's like, I couldn't envision a future without my injury and illness. But I think that I now know that's wrong. And if we can envision a future of whatever we want, it's definitely possible. 


    Lesley Logan 12:09  

    Yeah, I love that you brought that up, it's like really, when you are sick, whatever that illness or injury is, like it can, there are so many unknowns, like, people who listen to podcasts before know, like, when I fractured my tibial plateau, which is nothing compared to what you went through, but as a person who like you don't get to walk on two legs for the first time in your like, knowing walking life, right? I've never broken anything before. So it's my first like, you know, injury that like set me, set me back in air quotes. And I remember being fine for a bit like going okay, we're gonna heal saw the doctor like saw the X-rays, like I know enough about the body to know that it's okay. And then also, at some point, because you're not getting that dopamine hit from the workouts you're doing, you're not getting these like hormones that help you feel like a happy person, you do become negative. And I remember like, just feeling like what is the point, and I'm not a negative person, like I was a positive person who, like watch myself go into that negativity, because I just didn't have the same routines and lifestyle that I had before. And even though I knew like in this many weeks, you can put weight on this leg. It was really hard for me to plan that many weeks ahead. Because I could not understand how I can't walk on my leg now. And I'm supposed to walk on my leg in that many weeks. Like you just can't, it's really hard to wrap your brain around. So obviously, you get healed because you ran a half marathon recently. What was the journey from like going into positivity and then getting into the coaching world? Because if you are Mr. Negativity, the most negative person in the world and I'm looking at the person who can't stop smiling, I'm just wondering how that, how that happened? 


    Jordan Dunin 13:48  

    Yeah, I don't think it was overnight. I think I, in hindsight, is always 2020. And I definitely was the leading factor in my illness. And one of my favorite things that one of my coaches said to me was like, whatever your problem is, you are there, or I'm paraphrasing, but we are the only constant in all of our problems. Yeah. And that can be both like demoralizing, but also liberating. And when I, when I stopped outsourcing my happiness and I stopped, I stopped outsourcing like the cure for my illness and whatever that search was like a pill or a surgery, like it was never going to work. There was no, there's no cure. There's no there's not a single person out there that could cure anything. And when I started to internalize it actually became liberating rather than like a like an imprisonment. So the positivity came slowly at first it was fake it was faking it and then crying in my bed.


    Lesley Logan 14:49  

    I understand that. You are to me, it's been at like you're trying to be a positive person and that's hard to do when you're not naturally but you that's there is science behind if you smile when you're feeling like shit, eventually if you just keep smiling, like your brain starts to go, okay, we're smiling right now and starts to turn things around. So I love it. It's okay to cry in your bed after, but you're being positive.


    Jordan Dunin 15:09  

    Yeah. And I had to do stuff that went against everything. Like it went against my vision of the world. I think we all have like a blueprint of the world, like, our perception or the way we see things and I saw things that that guy in that white lab coat is going to fix me. And when I met my wife, she opened me up to spirituality, which took years because that was like, a hard thing to for me to unfold as growing up, where that was kind of, not a not something we did. It was hard. So now it's something like a daily ritual of mine is like breathwork, and meditation and, but that was hard. And seeing that, that I was the person who was gonna give you better, not somebody else. And it was hard, because every time I took a step in that direction, people were telling me that you're going the wrong way, you're gonna fail, or that's not gonna work, you're just gonna get sicker. That's, that can't cure you. That's, that's impossible, like talking about nutrition, or I did some resonance therapy, which is like, like energy healing. And people were consistently telling me it's a waste of time, or a waste of money or a waste of resources. And not only was the worry in my head, that it's not going to be enough was that tough, but it was also going against what everybody around me was saying was a little hard. But I had Lauren, my now wife. And she was always in my corner. But for people that are struggling and wanting to change something, I think that the hardest thing to do is to get rid of the opinions of others. Because that's, that's tough.


    Lesley Logan 16:43  

    No, you nailed it. I mean, like, because also it's like this deep fear of rejection, you know, like, when people don't, and also, like, just not being seen, right? And the reality is, like, the things you tried before that were supposed to work, weren't working, and it's not, and it's not because they intentionally didn't want them to work. They thought that they had an answer for you. When you as you're speaking this, like, you know, how, like, every people say, like, everything is happening for you. And then you're just like, okay, but like, what about the bad things? Like, what about the actual, like, legit, terrible abuse, terrible injuries, people who, like, screwed up trying to help you? And they sort of be more like, what about that? Like, how is that for you? And I heard someone say, like, we have responsibility for those things. And I was like, oh, like, you know, but then the way this person explained, it was like, because we have the ability to respond. And what you're saying, what I'm hearing you say is like you took upon this ability of yourself to go, you know, these things didn't work. And I'm gonna try this over here. And it is so hard to hear the people that you think, care about you and love, you go, that's not gonna work, and you just want to go, what I just can you just, like go along with it, but at the same time, like, that's their own fears that's their own, they have an ability to respond as well. And like, it's so cool. And it's really a great sign towards the strength, inner strength of you, when you go, nope, I'm going to I my, my ability to take this on and do this thing, because I believe it's going to work. That's my responsibility. And so I think it's just really, really cool. And I also think, like, we disregard some of the most amazing, energetic works that are out there as like on this double whoo spectrum. And, look, I am not going to say that, like if I had a cancer diagnosis, I'm not gonna go straight to the western medicine, I'm gonna be like, Yeah, please, I'll take that. And I would like to see the Reiki person and I like, we can't, it doesn't have to be either or it can be encompassing. 


    Jordan Dunin 18:46  

    We can collaborate. 


    Lesley Logan 18:47  

    Correct, exactly. And so I think it's really interesting when people just want to like do something just because it's different. And so it's what a strong muscle you had to create for yourself and being it and becoming this person that you are by like having to stand up against people who are doubting the decisions you're making. That's not easy to do. 


    Jordan Dunin 19:03  

    Absolutely. Yeah, I think I think that's a really good point. It's like we can be collaborative with our efforts on all fronts. And I think that the hardest thing for people to understand is that it's, it's work. Like still to this day, my routine is not something that everybody would want to do in order to stay healthy, and that I didn't train for a half marathon and I was able to run one, it was just to be able to see what my my lifestyle is able to let me do. And it all comes down to what we do every single day. Like the things that we do daily become us and I think for some reason, while we're pushed in marketing and all this stuff, it's like, okay, it took me years to become this sick. It took me for me 20 years to become this sick. I'm gonna get well in two weeks. This antibiotic is gonna cure me into like the word cure is just so fickle. It's like something that it doesn't make sense to me a cure, because the only way we change is when we change. And that's what like we're bridging into like a coaching conversation. But I am not the person that was sick. That's a completely different identity. And I see people struggle with Lyme disease because they put something in their Instagram bio like chronic Lyme warrior. If you identify with an illness, how are you ever going to get past it? And there's nothing wrong with that it may be your identity, maybe something that you inherently find value in and maybe a community built, that's even stronger reason to not remove yourself from that community. So I think that habit change and identity is something that really leads to, to success. It all comes down to what we do day to day, you do something tomorrow different than today. Like for me, I'm doing all this like PR training and stuff like that. And it's hard. It's uncomfortable. But the reason it's uncomfortable is because I've never done it. It's not because I'm not meant to do it. And I feel like a lot of the times when we do change, especially for me, it was like, I didn't like Reiki it wasn't for me. No, it wasn't for me, because I've never done it before. I had to get uncomfortable with it. Got outside of my comfort zone. Doesn't mean that it's not for me, it just means that I just felt uncomfortable. It's change.


    Lesley Logan 21:15  

    Yeah, so I want to get into like, because you said something really important, like we are the things that we do every day. And like also, if it took you this long to either get sick, or if you've been sick that long. Or if you've been sedentary for whatever length of time, we just expect that we should be able to, you know, be energetic, by two weeks of going to the gym. I think it's so true. I think like people want instant gratification. Hey, I see you like I love opening presents or like, I love, I love instant gratification but 


    Jordan Dunin 21:45  

    Love language. 


    Lesley Logan 21:46  

    Yes, yes, yes, yes. But like, yes, but I think like, it is so true, like becoming that person you want to be and like trying things out, it's gonna take time, and you have to have that patience and consistency. I do want to get into the so like, you go through this transformation. You get into coaching. And now you're also doing something where it's like bringing coaches together. So can you explain like, what was the impetus? Like, what was your reasoning for doing that? Like, it's because you want to make other people feel better, was it because you want to do like, what made you want to do the next thing instead of going back to school? 


    Jordan Dunin 22:21  

    Yeah, well, I did finish my degree. That was the first thing I did, I finished my business degree, I became a licensed personal trainer. But the journey was kind of not great. I was training people and like people wanted aesthetic changes, they wanted overnight XYZ. And then I heard about health coaching. And I realized that the person who helped me get better was essentially a health coach, they hooked me up the right practitioner, the right nutritionist, introduced me to meditation, spirituality. And it was a holistic approach to healing that I could then take on my own. So like when we talked about the difference between coaching and therapy, therapy is typically focused on problems, whereas coaching is focused on results. Like, okay, you started anywhere, we're gonna get to this result. Whereas therapy is like, where did you start? Like so the way that I looked at coaching is it's a path. So like the name HatchPath is like birthing your new journey, you're taking the path, and a coach guides you along the way. But yeah, I became a certified health and life coach, and I realized that the industry is very much like (inaudible). Yeah, there's nothing wrong with real estate agents. But the way that people view them is like, oh, you earn income off of selling other people's things, you know, like all this snake oil stuff. And same thing for health coaches, it's like there's 100,000 of them in the US unregulated. You don't have to be certified to be a health coach. You can just coach on wellness and call yourself a health coach. And I wanted to make that more trustworthy for people. I found so much benefit in my journey with someone that cared about me, had the empathy, had the answers and guided me to success, and I wanted to help people weed out the people that weren't good. The people that were just not wanting to have a nine to five and wanting to be a coach, or, you know, there's a lot of people in the industry that don't fit the mold, and it's unregulated. 


    Lesley Logan 24:05  

    It's, my industry is, the Pilates industry is, it's not, it's unregulated by government. There is an organization that tries to like, you know, have some version of a true certification but like, let's just be real. In all industries, the use of certification is incorrectly used like certificates are great, but certifications who like they think they get it from the person they pay the training, like nope, that's actually not how it works. Like you don't go to if you go to law school, even at Harvard Law, you're not a lawyer till you take a regulated exam outside of the person who paid for your education. So, so I agree with you. There's like a lot. There's a lot and what's unfortunate about that is that people when they finally do take the leap to like, do the thing and hire the health coach. If they get the air quotes wrong one first. That's it. They don't they think I'm not good enough. And they don't realize that they there's, you know, they just didn't get the right one for them. And it really hurts my soul. So you, you got into what your actual training, your actual (inaudible) and you're like, wow, it's the Wild West, it's unregulated, and there's like a random bunch of people calling themselves this. It's really hard for people to get help.


    Jordan Dunin 25:20  

    Yeah, that's the end we wanted or I wanted to simplify the path to help. And so what we do is we have a verification process that's relatively simple. Any coach that wants to join us, we're free to join, we work on a transaction basis, and we have the clients on our platform for you, we'll get into what that means. But how you join is you fill out a form includes a certification, what you do, who you coach, how many years, like XYZ irregular form, and then you have a meeting with me. So I've had over 300 meetings with coaches, look for empathy. The questions are literally, what do you do? And how do you help? And we like we already know that you're certified. So we look for empathy, we want to know that you're driven by empathy, and the best coaches coach on something that they've overcome. So for me, I've overcome Lyme disease, my path is coaching people to overcome Lyme disease. Some coaches coach on anxiety, some coaches coach on weight loss, some coaches coach on weight gain, whatever it may be, we look for to see if there's empathy there. And then all things go, well, you're onboarded to our platform, and it's a true marketplace. So coaches offer their own programs. And the reason we do that is because we know that there's no one size fits all for health. And typical platforms have a system. So if you onboard to another health coaching platform, you may be put into a system that they have their coaches run, I wanted to be different in the sense that I know that there's no straight path to wellness. And I wanted to enable choice. So on our platform on the client side, we now have close to 1000 different programs to choose from on our platform, ranges from nutrition, fitness, chronic illness, mindfulness and spirituality and life and holistic health. Those are five categories. And our coaches are all verified and certified. So when you come to our platform, it's a trusted environment, we've done the vetting for you. And all you have to do is click Pay and Attend. Our full ecosystem is contained. So we're HIPAA compliant, whatever that means. But that means that your information is safe. So you never have to leave to Zoom, Google meet, you don't go through text chats or channels, we make sure that you have a really safe and easy experience with your coach. 


    Lesley Logan 27:22  

    That's amazing. I think like, I think that that there's something like that legitimizes that and makes it feel less like okay, I'm in this random telegram chat with some weird person, like person I've never met before. And I'm, you know, they're gonna put crystals all over my body. Like, you know, like, I think that there's something really nice about that. I also love it. It's kind of like a dating app for a health coach. 


    Jordan Dunin 27:44  

    That's it. 


    Lesley Logan 27:45  

    What I love so much about what you're doing is like you had this incredible like, hit obstacle, obstacle, wall, wall, wall that was clearly guiding you down the hallway, to make sure that you could be on the path that you're on. And then instead of just like making your own health coaching thing, which you could have just done, like you could have just done your own thing and just done for Lyme people and had a good time. You're like, how do I make it easier for everyone, because I'm sure it would have been easier for you to have gone to one website to find this thing. And, you know, get a bunch of resources to work with rather than like, literally googling individual types of health coaches that could have been out there. That's just that would be overwhelming, especially when you need it. The last like I remember when I needed when I was looking for an actual therapist. I Googled like, therapists near me and it's just like thousands of people and you're like, I don't I don't even know how to start like, do I just like, eeny, meeny, miny, moe and call? You know, so I think it's really, it's really cool, what you've done, and also the vetting process. What are you most excited about HatchPath now? Like, what are you hoping it does and like the next year or so?


    Jordan Dunin 28:52  

    I'm really excited for 2024 because we've been building forever. We've been building for two years. And we just made an incredible collaboration where we have a contract with a charity that helps over 10,000 Special Ops veterans. So when I said that we have clients already on our platform, looking for coaches. So we have a deal for with them that they put money in the wallets of these veterans, families, and active military. So when they come on our platform, they can book with a coach that the charity pays for him. So it's amazing for coaches, because there's clients waiting for your help that you can make a true impact. And it's a community that we can really help. So our goal is twofold for them. We want to make sure that we have veteran coaches as well. So that coach, the military can coach the military. And also it's amazing for any coach that wants to join our platform because you can make a true impact and grow your business. So the way we work is we also have social proof metrics. So you get ratings and reviews on our platform. It's how you scale I guess you were used to it with Airbnb and yeah, Uber and all this stuff. But now we have real people awaiting your services. So yeah, this has been a year in the making. We've actually built us a specific portal for them, so they can attribute funds to people, approve people and bring this to life. And as of two days ago, I was actually in Tampa. And we made it real. So starting next week, this is all happening. 


    Lesley Logan 30:17  

    Wow. Wow. Wow. So this is like, so yeah, guys, we're recording this in the middle of January like this is kind of this kind of amazing I love, you know, someone who's like created stuff, it's people don't realize the amount of time and years that things have to take to come to fruition. They think just like, you know, it's going to take two weeks to have the transformation of my life, it's, I'm going to have a business idea, and it's going to be up and running. Congratulations, Jordan, like, just what a transformation and also like, the way you're giving back, and not just to people who need help, but also the people who can help them. It's really cool. We're gonna take a brief break. And we'll find out how people can find you, find HatchPath and your Be It Action Items.


    Lesley Logan 30:53  

    Alright, Jordan, if I'm a coach, how do I like connect with you to see if I can be on your platform? And if I'm a person who has a need of a place where people have been vetted, how do I how do I do that?


    Jordan Dunin 31:05  

    It's the same answer. We're www.hatchpath.io such as H-A-T-C-H-P-A-T-H, we have a nice little page called Become a coach, if you want to become a coach, you just hit that button. If you're looking for a coach, you can browse all of our programs, our coaches, our offerings, you don't need to create an account, you can simply check out with your name and email. And then once you do that, you can add the session to your calendar. So we do everything from payments, scheduling, video conferencing, ratings, reviews, and messaging, all in one place. And it's really easy. So yeah, click, pay and attend.


    Lesley Logan 31:39  

    Yeah, that's so cool. All right. And is there any social handles that they can go and follow you at?


    Jordan Dunin 31:46  

    Absolutely. So our business social's HatchPathCoach, that's Instagram. Mine is Jordan Dunin. And that's it. 


    Lesley Logan 31:55  

    Amazing. This is so cool. I'm excited for people. I also, I'll have to go back and listen, because I don't remember the exact phrase you said. But there was an amazing sentence you said about like simplicity and getting help. And I was like, That is like your that's your like little mantra. Okay, before I let you go, it's been incredible hearing your story and like to hear what you're doing in this world. But what can you leave us with, action steps, so Be It Action Items, what bold, executable, intrinsic or targets steps people can take to be it till they see it. What you have for us?


    Jordan Dunin 32:26  

    Envision a goal where you have everything that you want, and how does it feel? Feel that now and then go after it. I think that the major thing that we do is, I heard a quote, I'm going to paraphrase it because it's not mine. But envision yourself living in a 500-square-foot studio apartment in New York, putting an Italian marble down, spending millions of dollars to renovate it. You're still in a 500-square-foot apartment, break down the walls, make it a mansion, make it whatever you want. I think the struggle with people is that we build our future in our box that we're in right now. Build the future however you want. Envision it, feel it and go after it.


    Lesley Logan 33:06  

    I think that's brilliant. I love that. I love that. Like also just explain like it's really easy for us to envision our future with our current reality. Yeah, yeah, that's a problem. So Jordan, you've been amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you for what you've created. Congratulations on what you've done out there because it's going to help health coaches really find their people and people find the right health coaches and and help them be it till they see it. So thank you so much, and everyone how are you going to use these tips in your life? What are you going to do next? Make sure you tag HatchPath, Jordan Dunin, and the Be It pod. Let us know how this worked out for you. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 33:44  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 



    Lesley Logan 34:12  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

      


    Brad Crowell 34:27  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 34:32  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 34:36  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 34:43  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


    Brad Crowell 34:47  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    34m - Apr 23, 2024
  • 357. Why Perseverance Is The Ultimate Formula For Success

    Dive into the power of perseverance in this inspiring episode, where relentless dedication and unwavering resolve are the keys to success. Featuring the remarkable stories of listeners and insights from Lesley, this discussion highlights how perseverance overcomes challenges and transforms dreams into reality. From navigating slow business periods to celebrating the success of fully booked retreats, each narrative reinforces the importance of steadfast commitment. Explore the actionable lessons drawn from these experiences, showcasing the essential role of tenacity in achieving professional and personal milestones.



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Mary transforms slow seasons and reflects on the profound joy of teaching Pilates.
    • Why Charlotte seized opportunities and invested in a new reformer.  
    • How Sonia’s unplanned advertisement led to community engagement..  
    • Lesley collaborates with amazing women and sold out her Cambodia retreat. 


    Episode References/Links:

     

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

     

    DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

     

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

     

     

    Resources:

     

    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Brad Crowell 0:00  

    It's Fuck Yeah Friday.

      


    Lesley Logan 0:01  

    Fuck yeah.

      


    Lesley Logan 0:02  

    Get ready for some wins.

     


    Lesley Logan 0:05  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 0:46  

    Hello, Be It babe, how are you? Welcome to another FYF. What an amazing weekend it has been. Holy freaking molly, sort of whirlwind, actually. You're hearing this while I've wrapped a Sarasota event. A Nashville event is finishing up today. Some (inaudible) working remote in Nashville and just amazing at Brad and got some incredible stuff coming up next week while we're in Phoenix. But before I get into that, if you've never listened to our podcast, and this is the first one you're listening to, FYFs are Fuck Yeah Fridays and they are where we share a win of yours, a win of mine, and a little mantra. And the goal of this is to basically kind of highlight all the different ways you can find out that you have wins in your life. And I think that that's super, super important because it's so easy. It's way too easy to not even celebrate the wins you've had because they didn't happen when you thought they would. I have some amazing wins I want to share but I'm gonna get into yours first. 


    Lesley Logan 1:40  

    Mary Dellanina, she's one of our Agency pro members and she was just here on a retreat but before that she had this amazing win. It said slow February as many clients are wintering, but I have received two really great new clients and I'm loving working with them. One is entirely new to Pilates and watching her brain find connection to the movement is so fun and made me realize why I love this work so much. She is loving learning something new as well. I have a newish client, four months, and she walked in the other day and exclaimed, I'm so happy I found you. I absolutely love Pilates, it's the first exercise I found that really made me feel good in my body. That is so fun. She also tagged one of our other Agency members, Ainsley, because Ainsley motivated me to think about my wins. Thank you so much. The weather in Chicago is beautiful and sunny. So I walked everyday to work. It's been a great reset for my day mentoring a friend of mine who is training with TRX and Pilates. And so we're working together on the reformer. It's been so fun. So I love this, Mary, because we shared some work wins, right, like how she was actually able to take a slow February and like still find a way to win it. Also, wins that she has seen in celebrating her clients. And then also like up just noticing the weather and being able to walk to work can be a win. Like how cool is that? So I really, really love that. So thank you Mary for sharing those wins. We have Charlotte Coker, she's a new Agency member. And she said ten people sign up for my online mat class first offering of this type and hosted the first session last night. I blew my magic number for these classes out of the park. I'm also going to order my Contrology reformer and tower this week. I'm so thrilled. See you later, studio reformer. So, way to go Charlotte, I'm so excited that you first of all, like we're able to put together a new offer and then sell it out and then also be able to invest in that reformer you've been wanting. And so really, really, really excited for you. 


    Lesley Logan 3:28  

    Sidenote, y'all, we do have a perks page where you can get discounts on a lot of things like Pilates equipment, so just know that. Charlotte's taking advantage of that. I have one more win. This is Sonia, which is an Agency and an eLevate member. And she said, Oh my God totally excited and slightly, and she has a poop emoji, myself. After finally getting some rest over Christmas, I thought I'm doing it and advertised my first workshop for end of January. I thought I had scheduled for a later date. But I clearly messed up and advertised right away on my social media pages. Oops, wasn't ready for that. Today I shared lots of different Facebook groups also nerve-racking and I've made my, I'm already on my first signup, literally within 30 minutes of advertising. So excited, a couple of lessons I learned, don't have an annoying popup on your web page so people can can't get to the page you're trying to sell to people on separate Facebook account that say the same thing. I have removed it completely and then they gotta sign up. Just bloody do it. That was another lesson she learned. And she actually added to this before I was able to pull it that she got four signups and so she's, she's really looking forward to have 15. So this is an older win. But I wanted to share it with you because I think it's really cool to have a win. Recognize some lessons you can learn from for future times and also like making a mess, taking messy action and making a mistake doesn't mean it's a mistake. You can actually just like go for it. So I'm just really proud of you, Sonia. I know that you already offered this event and it went really well, it was a great learning lesson. And I love that you didn't wait to celebrate until it was done, until you had all the signups and then like it wasn't the one numbers you want. And I think that's really important. So, y'all, are you seeing how you can start to celebrate different things that are in process? Like that's important. 


    Lesley Logan 5:09  

    Okay, my win. Okay. So, you guys, first of all, huge win. I'm just gonna celebrate it was just doing an amazing collaboration with a beautiful human. I've actually done two collaborations so far this year with beautiful, amazing women. And I know that like women supporting women is like a cliche people throw around, but like, It's not every day that like it truly happens. And it's happened twice this year because of intentionality, communication, just being on the same page. And so, shout out to my girl Erika Quest, and Alicia Lavender. We had an incredible colab in March. And this past weekend, when I was in Sarasota it was an amazing collaboration for Jessica Papaneau, she has been a Be It Pod guest and you should absolutely listen to her podcast. It's really amazing. I'm so excited for what she's putting out in this world. So that was amazing. And then this is really cool. So this is a big win. And it's gonna sound like it's like against like what I just said about like celebrating things while they're in process. But this happened really quickly. And also not at all. So our Cambodia October retreat for this year is completely sold out, like 100% sold out, no room at the end, just phenomenal. And we opened up the doors for this in January of this year. And we sold it out by middle of March. And we had to actually pick our February dates super, super early, which is because we needed to have a place for the waitlisters to go. But for the first time since 2020, we've actually been able to plan another retreat, a second one, within six months, we have been able to do that since, since actually 2020. Sorry, 2019 was when we did that last. And we've been offering retreats since 2017 you guys and the thing is, is that it's really easy to hear me say oh my gosh, my retreat sold out and go, Oh my god, it's so nice for her. And the reality is, is I have been working on this since 2017. So 2017, we had an almost sold-out retreat. And then we didn't have a sold-out retreat. And then we had a sold-out retreat the next year. And then we didn't have a sold out retreat. And then the next year, we had two almost sold out retreats, and then March 2020, we're gonna have a sold-out retreat and the pandemic scared a lot of people off, but we couldn't cancel it. So we did it with a small, amazing, phenomenal group. And then it was like rebuilding time. And we didn't do it for two years. And so the fact that our 2024 Retreat, which is our third one, since the pandemic, is sold out, and sold out in three months, two months of actually, the doors been open. I'm so proud of my team. I'm so proud of our efforts, it's years in the making, and just really, really, really grateful and I can't even wait to go on this retreat with these amazing people because I'll get to celebrate more wins. Alright, those are some wins, those are some of our wins to help you celebrate your, to kick off your weekend and celebrate with you. So what is your win? I want to hear it. I want you to send it in so we can share it with the audience. Because as you can hear some of these wins are in the, they happened in the past, and our listeners are going to hear their win. And remember what they slayed already this year, which is so, so important. Now before I let you go, we have a little mantra part of this Friday tradition which I love seeing how you guys reshare these and sometimes you tagged me in them and thank you so much. Here it is. I do not rush through my life. I temper speed with stillness. I do not rush through my life. I temper speed with stillness. I do not rush through my life. I temper speed with stillness. How will you be still this weekend? And I bet you'll have an incredible win because of it. I bet you'll actually notice a win you've had in your life. Thank you so much for being a Be It Pod listener, you have no idea how grateful I am to know you and be in your ears. I do not take that for granted. You're incredibly amazing. So please continue to share this pod. Continue to leave us reviews, continue to send us your questions and your wins. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 9:03  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 

     

      


    Lesley Logan 9:27  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 9:50  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 9:54  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 9:54  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 9:59  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

      


    Brad Crowell 10:01  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

     



    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    10m - Apr 19, 2024
  • 356. Defining Your Identity and Contribution to the World

    Join Lesley and Brad as they explore the journey of self-discovery, inspired by Ryan Lang's transformative insights. This episode dives into how a deeper understanding of oneself can enhance your contributions to society. Lesley and Brad share strategies for shedding limiting beliefs and spotlighting your true identity. Together, they discuss the power of minor, daily actions in creating significant life changes and a lasting impact on the world.



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • How self-improvement enriches your life and the lives around you.
    • Strategies to shift emphasis from external validations to cultivating your true self.
    • Why understanding your identity sets a solid foundation for achieving goals. 
    • Insights on making small consistent steps to empower you to the best version of yourself. 


    Episode References/Links:

     

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

     

    DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

     

    Be in the know with all the workshops at OPC

    Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

    Be a part of Lesley’s Pilates Mentorship

    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar

     

     

    Resources:

     

    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    He said I believe that I and we, collectively, are so well positioned to help so many people who in turn are going to go out and help others. And I think this is like something that I always tell people like how is self-care not selfish care? Because if you fucking like yourself you're just nicer people. 


    Lesley Logan 0:16  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

      


    Lesley Logan 0:58  

    Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the redefining convo I had with Ryan Lang in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that now, go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us or listen to this one and then listen to that one. Whatever you want to do if this is your first time here, hello. 


    Brad Crowell 1:14  

    Welcome.


    Lesley Logan 1:15  

    Brad is my husband. My name is Lesley I never introduced myself on this.


    Brad Crowell 1:18  

    Wow (inaudible) just very rare. Spelled L-E-S-L-E-Y. What?


    Lesley Logan 1:22  

    I don't think I ever introduced myself on any podcast that we have. So, okay, anyways, thank you for being here. Thanks for being part of this, we are going to get into it. So today is April 18th and it's National Exercise Day. About this day, it's a day to encourage everyone to participate in physical activities. Exercise enhances our general health by giving us more energy, making us feel better, and even extending our lives by years. Regular physical activity and exercise have several health benefits that are impossible to overlook. Everyone, regardless of age, gender, or physical ability, benefits from exercise. Build new habits. So you guys exercise does not mean like burn yourself to the ground and overdo it on this day. I was listening to some podcast and she's like, yeah, you know, when you're like feeling good at a workout, you just got back into it. So you just like I'm gonna do two more things. And it's like, no, if this is your first day exercising this week, maybe like, intentional movement matters, okay? And I think if you don't like the word exercise, or working out if those those things like cause you any stress or worry or guilt, then intentional movement is what you want. That's what you want, intentional movement, get that blood flow going. Okay, so we're in Nashville right now, we come back from Nashville, hang with pups for a few days, and then remind them who loves them, and then leave them again. And we're gonna be at the Pilates on tour in Phoenix. So super, super excited about this come see us in person, April 26th to the 28th. 


    Brad Crowell 2:41  

    Big, big event. 


    Lesley Logan 2:42  

    It's one of their biggest it's more people than they've ever had in Pilates On Tour that I've ever been to. And there's a big huge party on Saturday night because Pilates anytime so come see us we'll have some flashcards and some other things. So come check us out. May Accelerator. So, the April Accelerator was so great. So many people loved it and also learned from it and so many people missed it. So Brad is doing another one. So go to prfit.biz/accelerator this is where you're, if you're a teacher or studio owner, you're going to learn how to grow your biz and particularly if you work for yourself. So if you're an employee somewhere, if you, you can come if you're wanting to not be an employee somewhere but it's best for people who get to actually make their own decisions in their business. So prfit.biz/accelerator and what day in May, Brad, do we know? 


    Brad Crowell 3:31  

    Sure. Just get on the list. 


    Lesley Logan 3:35  

    If you hit that it'll tell you. 


    Brad Crowell 3:36  

    I do, I do have it somewhere I just don't know off the top of my head. 


    Lesley Logan 3:38  

    And then also in May we are actually doing another earlybird for Cambodia because well we over we've sold out. 


    Brad Crowell 3:46  

    We definitely have a large group coming in October, which is just really amazing and exciting. 


    Lesley Logan 3:51  

    It's so amazing. It's so amazing. So (inaudible).


    Brad Crowell 3:53  

    We actually have more interests. So we opened up February 25. 


    Lesley Logan 3:56  

    Yeah, opened up February and it's a really good time to come. It's going to be after Lunar New Year celebrations. And so it's just at the tail end of what would be considered high season for travel there, which means it's not a lot of people there. It's before it gets too hot and it's just a really lovely time also, I do really love the sunrises in February, so I'm just gonna be really honest, like October is amazing and the weather is phenomenal and everything is green. But in February the sunrises are just really, really cool. It will be about a month, actually like two weeks off of like, what would be the spring equinox which means you just have to turn your phone a little bit and then your sunrise is directly over in core. So go to Lesley Logan. L-E-S-L-E-Y as we talked about earlier L-O-G-A-N.co/retreat. (lesleylogan.co/retreat)


    Brad Crowell 4:36  

    That'll get you on the waitlist. 


    Lesley Logan 4:38  

    Yeah, they'll get you on the waitlist which means if you're on the waitlist


    Brad Crowell 4:40  

    (Inaudible) announcement. Yeah, only those on the waitlist, get the early bird announcement.


    Lesley Logan 4:44  

    Once you hear it publicly on the socials and stuff. It's because it's full price. Yeah. And then also coming up huge, humongous deal. 


    Brad Crowell 4:53  

    Big deal, y'all. 


    Lesley Logan 4:53  

    Big deal. We are doing the biggest ever OPC summer camp. I think it's one of the biggest events ever. Definitely one of the biggest virtual events ever for Pilates lovers of all kinds at all levels. It's only two days. It's the first weekend of June. The workshops are all virtual and workouts and there's a lifetime access to them. And so there's no excuses to not get your ticket. But this time, you can buy a day pass or you can buy ala carte. If you're an OPC member, you're actually going to get the earliest of early bird tickets, which you may have already gotten those emails by the time this comes out. And then if you're on the waitlist, you get a different early bird pricing, not as goes OPC members, but still really good, better than the public early bird. And then once you hear publicly, it's the public early bird and then it's full price. 


    Brad Crowell 5:35  

    It's the recurring theme here, y'all even though we may already have your email, get yourself on this waitlist because we're not going to add you to them. You have to add yourself.


    Lesley Logan 5:41  

    You have to add yourself. Why? Because you have to raise your hand for the things you want in this life. 


    Brad Crowell 5:44  

    That's right. 


    Lesley Logan 5:46  

    Hi, I'm an elder millennial and you gotta work for it. Okay. All right. So before we get into Ryan's amazing takeaways, we have an audience question? 


    Brad Crowell 5:54  

    Yeah, we did. This was a great one from Meghan MBE on IG, I shortened your last name, Meghan. But she asked, hey, hey, how do you feel about music in a Pilates class? How about background music? What about choreographed Pilates class that goes to music? Is any of this frowned upon? 


    Lesley Logan 6:10  

    Yeah, so it's not here's the thing, legal, there's legal things to think about here versus like, like, what's going on? So is it frowned upon? No, I don't put exercises to music beats because the reality is, is like that, I'm not a spin class teacher, I'm not a bar teacher, I'm not a dance teacher. If you come from a dance world, and that's a strength you have, and that's a style you like to teach, that's fine. As a classical teacher, here's what I love, we start with a hundred, we do push-ups, put a theme in there. And for me, I literally do not play any music on anything that is online for us. And that's for a reason. It's very expensive to get licensed music of any kind that anyone would recognize, ever. And so. And by the way, when I apparently when I was teaching classes at Equinox, I was illegally using music. Oops, I didn't know. 


    Brad Crowell 7:02  

    But also too, I think your class has to be up to speed. You know, like, sometimes if people are learning any of the moves, and you've got like, okay, we're gonna do this now. Now, now, because you got to choreograph, you might be leaving people behind (inaudible). 


    Brad Crowell 7:11  

    Yeah, yeah. That's also why it works for a bar class or a dance class, because you can repeat the moves, whereas in Pilates, we don't do that. 


    Brad Crowell 7:14  

    (Inaudible) to repeat the moves. That doesn't happen in Pilates. So, yeah. 


    Lesley Logan 7:29  

    Maybe you do 10 reps, but you're not usually going back to an exercise unless you're replacing something you can't do yet with something you can. So.


    Brad Crowell 7:35  

    I was thinking about your the stint you did about step up classes that you're doing. 


    Lesley Logan 7:41  

    Oh, my little stint. Yeah. 


    Brad Crowell 7:42  

    And they were but it was like, they would teach you the move. And then you would do the moves. And then you would do a second move. And then you'd merge those two together, and do both moves, and then you do a third and add it in. It's repetitional until you actually like, get it.


    Lesley Logan 7:53  

    And then at the end, they added the music. And then we did to music. We didn't learn it to music. And so that's another thing like, like, you just have to decide like, how you how you turn the music on and off. So I did background music, when I work in studios on tour, whatever background music they're playing, that is fine with me. I hope they have the rights to it. I'm not involved. But also, like, we had an incredible webinar about music licensing. And just because you pay for your Spotif y doesn't mean you're licensing for business. And you can't, y'all can get in trouble for doing this. Brad can talk about that. But I because I don't know the name of these people. But like, it's a real big deal. You wouldn't like it if people were using your stuff for free. 


    Brad Crowell 8:33  

    So you know, yeah, they're called PROs performance rights organizations, and they literally have people out in the field, you know, like secret shoppers, they do the same thing for music, it exists. You know, and they are the, they're the in between the go between, for where music is played, whether that's a radio station, or like a theater or something. And the artists themselves and they effectively represent the artists and they say, Hey, you guys gotta pay for the music. You're playing in your lobby, because these guys over here wrote it, and they, you know, you're using their product. So anyway, that's what those PROs actually do. But it's long and complicated to be honest. We just intentionally don't record music because it just cuts the whole thing out.


    Lesley Logan 9:16  

    Yep. Yep. Makes it easy. Anyways, I hope this was helpful for you. 


    Brad Crowell 9:20  

    Great question, Meghan. Thank you for asking it. 


    Lesley Logan 9:22  

    And you guys, just send in your questions, and we will answer them in detail on the podcast.


    Brad Crowell 9:27  

    Yeah, do it. All right. Now let's talk about Mr. Ryan Lang. He's the founder of Whole Performance Coaching and co-founder of Empire Partners. Ryan brings over two decades of experience from building an eight-figure energy business to consulting for notable clients like the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. His approach to coaching is deeply influenced by his insights into identity's impact on performance. Identity's impact on performance, that's an interesting thing to say. And I, I think there's a there was just a really, really interesting conversation. I didn't actually know any of Ryan's backstory even though we know him I had never sat down and like just listened to him share so I enjoyed this conversation a lot actually.


    Lesley Logan 10:10  

    Yeah I thought it was really fun I think it's interesting is like when we meet people when they're at like this new top of their life we like know this we know that the 


    Brad Crowell 10:19  

    We only know the today. 


    Lesley Logan 10:20  

    We don't know the before Ryan and I don't know the don't, gonna be honest right? Not sure we've been friends. Not sure. Not in a bad way I don't know if our paths may have crossed. I don't think you wouldn't like me either. Anyways, I love that he said this, the more internal work I did on myself the more I was looking at what I was getting back to the world. And this is when he was talking about how he was just like sucking badly at like giving back to the world. He just really wasn't. And.


    Brad Crowell 10:55  

    It wasn't just the world. It was like his family, his daughters, his life. 


    Lesley Logan 10:59  

    Yeah, and you know and so I think, we were recently listening to someone else yesterday on a call. And they were talking about like, someone was complaining to her boss. And the coach was like, Well, what do you think your boss needs? Well, have you thought about giving your boss what they need? And it was interesting thing, because it's like, of course, you'll gonna go what a shit boss. Fuck that boss. And then it's like, oh, burn, what have you been doing? But like, also, the idea is like, yes, there are gross narcissists out there. There's terrible people, of course. But what are you bringing to the environment that you're in, to people that are around you, and you can change the environment you're in, just by being a person who's giving the environment what it needs, and what the people around you need. And so the more internal work he did, he was able to look around and see what he was giving back. And you can, it can be a really nice mirror. And so I really appreciate him sharing that internal work. And I think we can all use more. I think it's a really good time to step in and go, what am I doing? How am I attributing or contributing to the world and we all need contribution, we all need to contribute for to feel like we're part of society, community growing in this world. 


    Brad Crowell 12:07  

    Yeah, he talked about how he like really hated himself. He said something that really struck a chord with me, I was gonna say profound, but.


    Lesley Logan 12:16  

    I thought you were going to say poignant, (inaudible) you love poignant. 


    Brad Crowell 12:21  

    He struck a chord with me when he said, based on the actions that I had taken, I started to tell myself my own identity. Right? So for example, he said he was driving on sales, he was working remotely. So he's driving around, you know, and he's away from his family. And he's like, I guess, because of my company that I started that I, you know, my partners and I have done, I guess, I'm just that dad who's going to be absent. I guess that's just who I am. And that I that really, really hit me hard. What because I remember with my, my ex-wife, thinking, I made the decision that we are going to be married. And so I guess this is just what marriage is. And it fucking sucks. You know? And I was like, okay, I signed up for this next 50 years. And I literally told myself this, and I was just like, resigned to this idea of like, this thing that I was, I felt very stuck in. Right? And that shaped me. That really, really made me sad. Because I wasn't enjoying the relationship. I was shocked. I was actually more shocked that this was the relationship the experience of being married than anything else. I was like, this is not what my expectations were in any way. Right? But and I was like, I guess I'm in. I guess meant for it now. Because I went through with it.


    Lesley Logan 13:47  

    Yeah, I feel like there's some sentences like I just, this is just who I am. Whenever you hear yourself, say this is just the way it is. Or this is just who I am. That you are creating a obstacle, a block a limiting belief in that moment, that if you were able to step outside yourself and actually hear someone else say that about themselves, you would never, you would never here's what I know, you didn't say this out loud anyone. And he didn't say this out loud anyone. And if you, because if you had something like no way, dude, that is not you don't have to be this person. That's not who you were.


    Brad Crowell 14:19  

    Yeah, I bet my ex did say this out loud to her best friend. And she clearly wasn't happy in the relationship either. Right? And so she's the one that ultimately pulled the plug. And that's where the catalyst of change happened in my life. Where is with Ryan, what I found really interesting is he, he actually said, I don't remember what was the moment but I just remember there was a day that I said, I can't keep doing this anymore. And that's when the change started to happen. And it really shifted. That's when he started working more on himself because he said I hated myself. I didn't like who I was becoming. The story I was telling myself was shit. I felt like shit. And he got really, really dark, you know, internally. And then, you know, when he made that decision, alright, this cannot continue, or else what's the point? You know, he started to work on himself and tell himself different stories and shift and change and draw lines in the sand and he contacted his wife and he said, hey, do you actually want to try to fix this thing? You know, and he said, I want to be a better dad. And you know, and I think the thing was, it was all rigged, in spite of the thing that he thought he had to do, which was his job, right, this company that he started and this thing he signed up for, and for me, it was my marriage, this commitment that I have made, right? And he said, when, you know, I'm going to make a change, despite my job. Right? And for my ex and I was, we're going to make a change despite our marriage. Right? And so anyway. 


    Lesley Logan 15:54  

    I'm really grateful for your ex-wife. I'm just gonna say that. I think it's so important for people to hear. 


    Brad Crowell 15:58  

    Yeah. You know what, me too, be honest. 


    Lesley Logan 16:01  

    Yeah. I mean, like, shout out to her for like, realizing like, I should pull this because now you and I are together. 


    Brad Crowell 16:06  

    Well, there's that for sure. But also, I wasn't, I wasn't very happy. I really wasn't happy. I was becoming a very dark person. 


    Lesley Logan 16:13  

    Yeah. Lastly, and then we'll talk about what you loved. I think we can wrap this up with what he said. I believe that I and we, collectively, are so well positioned to help so many people who in turn are going to go out and help others. And I think this is like something that I always tell people like how is self-care, not selfish care? Because if you fucking like yourself, you're just nicer people.


    Brad Crowell 16:33  

    Yeah. And so this is the other side of his story, right? This is today, or now he is like, he's a completely different person than he was, you know, 10 years ago. I don't know what the timeline actually was, his relationship with his wife is healthier. He's being a dad on purpose, all that kind of stuff. And today with his, with his company, he gets to help people help people.


    Lesley Logan 16:54  

    Yeah, and I think that's like, that's the reason why I believe more buyers should do Pilates is because when you take care of yourself, you change the lives of the people around you, when you fill your cup, you are a completely different person than when your cup is drained. Brad, drained and pissed and in his last marriage, not a nice person to the barista, not, I'm sure not still not an asshole, because you were in the service industry, but just like not seeing like the potential out there. But you know, when you when you can change how you help people, and you can change how you see yourself. And you can start to see that when I take care of me and I give out to the world, it makes the people around me better and then they make those people, it's a domino effect of the world being a better place. So anyways, I just love that. Okay, your turn. 


    Brad Crowell 17:40  

    Yeah. Well, what I thought was interesting, was the two of you went down this really cool conversation about the what, you know, versus the who. And at first, I was like, this is obscure, I don't really I'm not connecting the dots here. But you kept talking about which I'm really glad you did, because it kind of brought it home for me. Ryan's initial company, the job that he signed up for the job, the life he created, was in pursuit of money. Right? And that's not necessarily a bad thing. But that was the thing that was it. And he said, actually, what I've what I was pursuing was the what. And the what was how do I get paid? As opposed to how do I pursue the who? And the who is who do I want to be in what I am doing? Right? And I thought this is so profound. It made me go back to, this is so poignant. This made me think back to 


    Lesley Logan 18:40  

    It struck a chord with me. 


    Brad Crowell 18:42  

    This struck a chord. This really resonated with me, this took me back to high school, where I was like, what do I want to do with my life? That's the fucking question that we all ask. What do I want to do with my life? (inaudible)


    Lesley Logan 18:52  

    They ask little kids, what do you want to do? 


    Brad Crowell 18:54  

    Yeah. What do you want to be when you grow up?


    Lesley Logan 18:55  

    My sister's response? An adult.


    Brad Crowell 18:57  

    I love that response. I think that's the wrong question to be asking, "What do you want to be?" I think it's, "Who do you want to be? How do you want to live? How do you want to treat people?" And then the what will find itself. It comes together. I never fucking imagined in any way shape or form that I would be involved in Pilates. Ever. I didn't even know what Pilates was until I was in my 30s. If you asked me when I was 18. I don't know, I would have told you I wanted to be a pro soccer player or something. You know, but who did I want to be? What a profound difference my life would have had. 


    Lesley Logan 18:57  

    It would have had a poignant moment. 


    Brad Crowell 19:32  

    It would have had a poignant difference in the cultivation of Brad's resonance with the, he said by not paying attention to who, and instead focusing on what, we literally become whatever it is we're chasing, which is the what, and then we wake up one day and go holy crap, who the hell is this? Who the hell am I? Right? I really, really appreciated the conversation that you had around that.


    Lesley Logan 19:59  

    Well, thank you. I appreciate it. I just thought it was a great, I'm so grateful for Ryan. We had a really great conversation. I came out of it going, I learned a lot today. 


    Brad Crowell 20:05  

    Yeah, I think we have an opportunity if we've not ever thought about the who. Why not start thinking about the who today? Because we wouldn't, we most likely inadvertently dedicated our lives to the what? You know, what do I want to do, what do I want to be, how is it gonna go?


    Lesley Logan 20:23  

    (Inaudible) like, what do you do for a living? So no one asked me like, who are you? And I was who was I with? Oh, we're having her back on, Mel Dolman. She'll ask people like, oh, how do you like to spend your time because like, it allows for people get out of the oh, I do this for a living, but it actually was at South by Southwest. And so it's like a networking, you know, whatever. And everyone's like, this is how amazing it is. And she was just like, oh, how do you spend your time if you're like, what? 


    Brad Crowell 20:49  

    Right, exactly. 


    Lesley Logan 20:50  

    It's like what do you, what do you do with your time? Like, what do you like to do with it? 


    Brad Crowell 20:54  

    But I, but thinking about this, like, you know, if you have never thought about who you want to be and you're already quote-unquote resigned to what's happening in your world might be finding yourself in a similar position as Ryan, right? And you know, so but 


    Lesley Logan 21:11  

    Don't be old Ryan. 


    Brad Crowell 21:12  

    It's not, it's not too late to start asking yourself the question, "Who do I want to be?" You know, who would I want to be now?


    Lesley Logan 21:19  

    I mean, that's the be it till you see it thing.


    Brad Crowell 21:22  

    Yep. Love it. All right. Finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. Say it with me y'all. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Ryan Lang? Again, 


    Lesley Logan 21:23  

    Why are you saying his name like that? Ryan Lang, come on down, welcome to The Price is Right.


    Brad Crowell 21:44  

    So he said start with the who like we were just talking about. First and foremost, don't do anything before you figure out the who. This emphasizes the importance of self-identity before taking action on the what? Before you even sit out on your annual goals ask how do I want to show up this year? Who do I want to be? I love this. I think this is fantastic.


    Lesley Logan 22:07  

    I also think you can, by the way, you guys can start new a new year today. You don't have to like oh, you know, it's April. 


    Brad Crowell 22:13  

    Yeah, I guess I'll start in eight months.


    Brad Crowell 22:15  

    Just so you know, like it was just the combined new year. So it's like there's like literally a new year at different times of the day depending on like where where you are what religion you have, like you can have, you can have a, you can try the new moon. Okay, so like you could just start this now. And you can change how your trajectory is going by starting with who. Which leads to what are some small steps that I can take literally every day and hammer in that nail? Now just a side note, shout out to Anthony our yoga teacher do not hammer your actual nail don't do it. It's not pretty. Hope his palm is getting better. (Inaudible) I love him so much. I'm sure he doesn't listen. Anyways, but what are like when you think about the who be it till you see it means work backwards. And what are some steps you can literally take every day but so if you're, if the who is someone who is like bright and shiny, has great energy for their children, what do you have to do every day to have energy for your children? What would that look like? Is it more sleep? Is it more water? Is it more vegetables? Yeah, just just a shameless plug for you know, the ad there. But you know so think about that. And I think that those two questions are something you can ponder, percolate, pontificate on just using Brad's ridiculous amount of words he uses to like, draw attention to a thing that he's thinking. 


    Lesley Logan 22:16  

    Very poignant, babe. 


    Lesley Logan 22:18  

    It really is. To helping you figure out the who and how to make the who who you are today. It's how to be it till you see it. I mean, it feel like he just like summed up how to be it till you see it right there in his action items. I was just gonna say, like, put that on the, on the board. 


    Brad Crowell 23:50  

    Well, the small steps, you know, what I thought was cool about this was he was talking about the what if you're in a place where you just feel like you're lying to yourself, right? Because he's like, what do I, like, you know, I was, I started to smile about certain things, but I felt like it was fake, you know, and it but it's a small step that you can take to start the change. There will come a point along the path that you believe it, you know, that you actually live it, you are it. And that is the be it moment. So when you look in the mirror, you actually believe that you're becoming the person. 


    Lesley Logan 24:23  

    You'll probably won't actually see the day that it happened. It won't be like ding-ding-ding-ding. It'll just have like slowly happened, just like 


    Brad Crowell 24:30  

    You have arrived. 


    Lesley Logan 24:32  

    Yeah, just to say in the same way that it slowly happened the other way for him. Anyways, I'm Lesley Logan. 


    Brad Crowell 24:38  

    And I'm Brad Crowell. 


    Lesley Logan 24:38  

    Thank you so much for listening to this podcast today. We are so grateful for you. How are you going to use these tips in your life? We want to know. Tag the Be It Pod, tag Ryan Lang. Make sure you share with him how his episode may have changed your life or what you what you were thinking about doing. It means a lot to our guests and it means a lot to this podcast. It's how this podcast gets found. So leave us a review. Send in a question. What else can I ask you to do? Share this with a friend. And until next time, be it till you see it. 


    Brad Crowell 25:03  

    Bye for now. 


    Lesley Logan 25:04  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 



    Lesley Logan 25:32  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

      


    Brad Crowell 25:47  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 25:52  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 25:56  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 26:03  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


    Brad Crowell 26:07  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.




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    26m - Apr 18, 2024
  • 355. Redefine Your Identity for a Purposeful Life

    Ryan Lang challenges the traditional notions of high achievement, introducing listeners to the concept of whole performance. By sharing his story of personal downfall and rebirth, Lang illustrates the dangers of one-dimensional success. He offers guidance on aligning personal identity with broader life goals, ensuring that success is measured not just by professional achievements but by overall life satisfaction.



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • The key differences between achieving and performing.
    • Ryan Lang's turning point towards a purposeful life.
    • The transformative power of finding one's passion.
    • The methods for consciously crafting a desired identity.
    • Importance of aligning goals with personal identity.


    Episode References/Links:



    Guest Bio:

    Ryan Lang combines his expertise in sales, marketing, and human optimization with transformative whole performance coaching principles to take high achievers and businesses to the next level. He is the founder of Whole Performance Coaching, Lang Properties, Inc., and co-founder of Empire Partners. He has coached, managed and mentored 1000+ professionals over a 20 year span and worked alongside Rory Vaden, Russ Ruffino, and other notable thought leaders. In addition, Ryan has consulted with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, New York Yankees, Precision Nutrition, and Conoco Phillips. Prior to his current companies, Ryan was instrumental in building a 8-figure service firm in the energy sector, where he was responsible for the acquisition and divestiture of over $100 million in oil & gas properties, royalties and leases. In addition to 30 years of study in the fields of human psychology, sales and performance, Ryan holds certifications from Digital Marketer, The Transformational Coaching Academy, NASM, Precision Nutrition and Institute for Integrative Nutrition. 

     

     

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    Episode Transcript:

    Ryan Lang 0:00  

    We can play at a really high level in one area to the detriment of so many other areas of our lives. And to me that is not high performance. High performance is really what I call whole performance. And that's being able to play at a high level in every area of your life. Yes, we're not robots, the meters are gonna move up and down just a little bit. But you're never in a situation where one thing is like way up here, and something else is just a dumpster fire. 


    Lesley Logan 0:29  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 


    Lesley Logan 1:11  

    Okay loves, get ready. We got a great story for you. We got a great journey for you. We've got some great nuggets like mic drop nuggets, like you're gonna want to rewind, hold on, what did he just say? Like he was saying this one thing? Also, I should tell you, our guest is Ryan Lang, he was saying this one thing that I was just like, if you're watching our podcasts on YouTube, my hair bun is like nodding for me. It was everything. It was like the best encapsulated question, you could ask yourself to be it till you see it. So get ready. I'm not going to talk anymore, because I'm going to let Ryan do it for us. Ryan Lang is our guest today. Here he is. 


    Lesley Logan 1:47  

    All right, Be It babe, I'm so excited. I have a dear friend, Brad and I got to meet him in real life recently. And his name is Ryan Lang. And what he's doing is like, it's just really amazing. And I love his take on it. So we're gonna dive into his unique take on identity and things like that. So Ryan, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at? 


    Ryan Lang 2:06  

    Yeah, Lesley, I'm so first of all, thank you for having me. And I'm so excited to spend some time with you. So I'm the CEO of a company called Empire Partners. And at our core, really, we're a business consulting firm. And we specialize really in the coaching space, though. We have deep backgrounds in the coaching industry and have worked for and consulted for some, I mean, really, the biggest coaching companies on the face of the planet. And Empire really exists to help coaches become profitable business owners, a lot of coaches know how to coach very well, very few of them are profitable business owners. So that's empire. And then, for me, personally, I am a high performance coach. And so that's something that I've been obsessed with for a very long time, I kind of went through, you know, quite a journey that we can, you know, get into if you want on our podcast today. But I went through quite a journey in the business world building an eight figure business and kind of watching it and myself burned to the ground. And having to reinvent myself, hence, a lot of my study and work around identity. And so, you know, I really work directly one on one with a handful of high achievers, entrepreneurs, executives, business owners, and help them play at a high level in every area of their lives, which is what I call whole performance.


    Lesley Logan 3:30  

    Very cool. Okay, so you've got your hands in a lot of things. I love that there's coaches for coaches, because same thing I coach a lot of Pilates instructors, because they're amazing at what they do, and they're not often very good at business. 


    Ryan Lang 3:42  

    Yes, yes. Very true. 


    Lesley Logan 3:45  

    You know, I'm like, oh, please don't do what you're doing that you're gonna lose your house with that model. Like you have to separate yourself. So Ryan, I do want to like something that just came to my mind, and we can dive more into your journey. But you said high performance coach, and something that I'm curious about. And you also said high achiever, which is very different than I think an over like, overachiever. Like I'm recovering perfectionist, overachiever. Is there a difference between high performance and high achieving or like, do you know what I mean? Like, should we be striving for high performance, but not like, I guess I'm wondering, like, how you differentiate those things and those personality traits? Because I know a lot of our listeners are perfectionist, overachiever type personalities?


    Ryan Lang 4:27  

    Yeah, absolutely. So I'm going to make, this is a really good distinction. And I'm going to, I'm going to rephrase it just a little bit because I actually think it's exactly the same thing. So high achievement is really what I think most perceive most people identify as high performance. And most of the time when we're talking about high achievers or high performers, we have a tendency to do that somewhat interchangeably. And it's usually someone who has made it you know, who's shown a significant amount of progress or capability or results in one area, typically, right. And so what I would redefine this as actually, one of the reasons that I started my whole performance program was because of the fact that I realized I fell into this category as that I, you know, many of my contemporaries as entrepreneurs and business owners, in that we can play at a really high level in one area, to the detriment of so many other areas of our lives. And to me, that is not high performance. High performance is really what I call whole performance. And that's being able to play at a high level in every area of your life. Yes, we're not robots, the meters are going to move up and down just a little bit. But you're never in a situation where one thing is like way up here. And something else is just a dumpster fire. 


    Lesley Logan 5:57  

    Right. Like your, your work is like insanely amazing. And your relationship is like, there's not there's no relationships. Got it. So like, okay, that I actually love that you brought that distinction, because I do think people use it interchangeably. And I think that it's your I like your idea of like a high performance is more, is whole, like it's more balanced. And like you have yeah, I think that that's really cool. Because it was just something that came to my mind. I was like, hold on, wait a minute. We don't often talk about high performers. A lot of people are high achievers or overachievers. And that's interesting. Okay. So I want to go back to your journey a little bit, though, how did you get into coaching, and then also that little bit of a burnout journey that brought you to where you are like, because I do think, you know, I had a coach who said, you can never take people's rock bottoms away. And I know, people are all like trying to protect their kids from like a rock bottom. But like, really, we learn the most from these these journeys. So I would love to hear your advice. 


    Ryan Lang 6:50  

    Yeah, so I, I got into the business world after spending about four years in sports radio and in broadcasting. I got into the business world, in my mid 20s. And, or early, mid-20s. And I had an opportunity in the oil and gas industry, working with my dad and a business partner, where we built a company, literally from nothing to eight figures, and it was a it was a wonderful opportunity for me and helped me learn and craft and cultivate a lot of different skill sets and understandings and all of that stuff. And over the course of time, you know, I built a hell of a skill set, I was you know, leading and managing upwards of 200 people at a time at one point. And, you know, I was making a lot of money for especially, you know, for a person, my age and living a life of freedom and doing what I wanted to do and all of that stuff. What I didn't realize was happening along the way, though, is that number one, I really was pretty much chasing a buck and a thrill, essentially, you know, my, my hedonistic setpoint was consistently getting higher and higher, and I needed more, and I just couldn't keep, you know, like, I was insatiable from that standpoint. And in conjunction with that, my wife and I had our first child, it was an amazing experience. And shortly after that, we found out unexpectedly that she was pregnant again. We didn't even know if we were gonna have another kid. And like, yeah, like, nine months later, we're like, hey, there it is, again. So we were almost 


    Lesley Logan 8:49  

    Oh my gosh those are Irish twins. 


    Ryan Lang 8:51  

    Very close. Yeah, very, very close to Irish twins. So when she found out that she got pregnant, it was a really tough time for her. And we, we started having a really difficult time in our relationship communication started to break down. And right around that time is like, I can look backwards now and sort of see when the pieces really started to fall apart. I spent a lot of time on the road like 75,80% of the time. And as our communication got worse and worse, I started turning into a completely different human. It was on some level somewhat self-preservation, so to speak but I literally turned myself into somebody completely different. I lived a completely different life away from home. I honestly, I think I was an absolutely terrible husband. Eventually, a really terrible boss and leader. I literally looked at myself every day and just hated what I saw in the mirror and I couldn't stop doing what I was doing. Like I just, I was on that highway to complete and total disaster. And I was not slowing down at all. And eventually, I came to a point where, you know, those things started to catch up with me and I can't even tell you how or why it happened. But God, the universe, whatever it is that you know, you believe in, I feel that I had a day where I was just like, I have to stop this or I don't know if I'm gonna make it. Like I hated myself so much internally, that I had moments where I was like, what am I doing, I might as well just get this over with.


    Lesley Logan 10:36  

    That's a really dark place to be and I think a lot of people can resonate, because it's like, I'm like thinking back to like your definition of like a high achiever versus a high performer and like, and then even like, your thoughts, and I didn't (inaudible) it's like, you probably like, this is the this is what we're doing. This is what I'm good at. This is where I'm going. And then it's like, too much of one thing is never, is never, it doesn't make you a balanced person. So yeah, that's a really hard day. 


    Ryan Lang 11:04  

    It was yeah, it was, it was pretty tough. And I, I had this really, I can't even explain how or why it happened. But I had a moment of clarity one day where I was like, okay, what do you want to do here, like you got two, two roads, you can take, you can see if you can repair your marriage, maybe you can, maybe you can't, but at bare minimum, you give it a shot and commit to a different life, no matter what happens with the marriage, or you keep doing what you're doing and see how that works out for you. And so I decided to go back and you know, the Cliff's Notes version of the story is that my wife and I agreed, we, you know, we'd give it a shot. And we did, and we're still married, and our girls are amazing. And we have a great marriage now. But at that time, I realized in order to make this work, if I was really going to give it a shot, I had to not be traveling 75, 80% of the time, and at the time, we were living in a suburb of Nashville, and Franklin Tennessee, and I was traveling to Pittsburgh constantly. I had an office there. And so I went to my partners and I just said, look guys, I can't do this anymore. I have to find a way to live and work in the same place. This isn't going to work. And so we had an office in Colorado, which is where I live now and where I'm from originally in Denver, and we made an agreement for me to come and you know, do some work out of that office. And shortly after we made that move was really good thing. And everything was moving in the right direction. But I quickly fell out of love with what I was doing professionally. And I realized finally for the first time, that I had no purpose in what I was doing at all. And it never bothered me before, to be honest. But it was bothering me heavily. The more internal work I did on myself, the more I was looking at what I was giving back to the world and realizing that I was sucking really badly in that category. And I also felt like, the more that I learned and grew that I had a story that would resonate with a lot of other people, because I knew a lot of people that were in exactly the same boat as I was and they weren't making it out on the other side. So. 


    Lesley Logan 13:18  

    It's almost like you were so busy. You didn't even have time to realize you had no purpose with what you're doing. And I think that's a really also tough crossroads to come to. It's like, oh, I don't you know, like, I actually don't like this, like I recall. You know, like, I when I start doing Pilates, I started to really like be in my own body and like, hear my own thoughts. And I'm like, oh, I don't like living here. And then it's like, okay, but now I know that (inaudible) right? And then I was like, oh, I don't like this job I'm in it's like, okay, so you end up with this like, amazing aha moment, but then it's like you (inaudible) your whole family to Colorado you have to. 


    Ryan Lang 13:58  

    Yeah, yeah. It's the equip, I'm sure you experienced the same thing. But it's getting unplugged from the Matrix. Yeah, yeah. And once it happens, like, you can't go back. You're out. You know, like, yeah, so I, once I kind of came to that moment that was really what led me to coaching is that I I knew I wanted to do something I had no passion for my industry at all anymore. I still wanted to make money. And I knew also that I wanted autonomy. I've worked for myself for so long. I couldn't imagine the idea of going to work for somebody. And so my first foray into coaching was I spent a year just trying to figure out what I wanted to do after I left my my partnership. And I have a background as an athlete and in health and fitness and I got my first job as a personal trainer, when I was 19 years old in and did that for three or four years and I thought to myself, you know, I had a, one of the places, interestingly enough, when I was working on myself after things were such a mess and I finally sat down and was like, okay, who do you want to be? And how do you start crafting that human, the very first thing that I did was start working on myself physically, because it felt approachable to me, I knew how to do it. And I knew that if I could just commit to that, like that would be one piece that I could kind of rely on. So I got back into the health and fitness industry at that point, first, just as a personal trainer. And then eventually I fell head over heels in love with nutrition and holistic health and all of that stuff. And that's kind of what got me into coaching. And then, you know, from that place, interestingly, the further along I got, the more I realized that I yes, there's a passion for health and fitness. But really, the overriding passion was for what was going on upstairs for somebody and helping somebody perform at a really high level. Not necessarily just physically, but in all areas of their life. And I knew that I couldn't do that purely through the lens of of, you know, personal training and nutrition and that kind of thing. And that's really kind of what started bridging the gap into where I am now.


    Lesley Logan 16:18  

    That's cool. Thank you for sharing, like, take us on that journey. I do. It's I mean, as a Pilates instructor, I know there's, I can do all the things, but if you like I, you know, there's so many things are out of my scope. So I went by training mindset and habits and breath work, because like, you know, sometimes you're just like, you're my client was late all the time. And she's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And I'm like, you have to actually stop apologizing to me. And you have to actually ask yourself, like, why don't you think you deserve a full 55 minute session, I'm charging you I'm sitting here like, I got a client after you. I'm like this, I getting paid. But you, this is yours. And if you only want 45 minutes, that's fine. But like, if you want the full hour, you have to ask yourself why you can't give yourself permission to leave work early, or give yourself permission to deal with the traffic. And that's what was one of those moments. I'm like, okay, hold on. That's not, it my training. Where do I get this? Because it's, it's, I can only do so much with your body. I can't, you know, like, so if your mind is not in it, and your hormones aren't like if there's so many other things to the to the puzzle. So what I mean like what a crazy journey to go from like eight figure business crazy company, that you're traveling all the time to really work on yourself, and then you're working with people. So can you, can we go into like, what was the the the lens of identity like, what were you? How is that affecting the decisions you're making or making you with the coaching you're doing? 


    Ryan Lang 17:42  

    Yeah, great question. So it's when I was kind of in, you know, the thick of it before I exited my partnership. And when things were as bad as, as they were, what I realized is that looking back, of course, hindsight, always being 2020, I made a couple of decisions that I really hated. And when I made those decisions, I backed it up, I reinforced it by deciding that I was the decision that I made, oh, well, because I did this, I guess I'm just that type of person, I guess this is just who I am. And I can remember times where during that period of time, I literally I started crafting the identity of somebody that I didn't want to be and hammering it into my subconscious. So I can remember for right now, as we're having this conversation, I used to take I used to do a lot of driving when I was in, you know, in Pennsylvania, between Pennsylvania and West Virginia and Ohio, visiting clients and some other things. And I can remember driving down the road thinking to myself, well, I'm really not there for my girls, I guess that's just how it's gonna be, I guess I'm just gonna be that dad who just sends money in the mail, and they can rely on me financially. But you know, I'm not home. I guess that's just who I am. And I literally just hammered it in. It's like, you know, identity with those kinds of statements. It's literally like hammering a nail into the wall or a piece of wood. Like we hit it a couple times. And it goes in a little bit. And we hit it again. And it goes in a little bit. And eventually if we hit it enough, that soccer is going in all the way and it's you know, it's all the way in there


    Lesley Logan 19:30  

    And so difficult to pull out because like 


    Ryan Lang 19:32  

    Yes, that's right. 


    Lesley Logan 19:34  

    I remember listening to a Brené Brown book many, many years ago, I don't, don't ask me which book it is guys, because I only remember this line. And it was, it was there's a difference between saying like to your child who gets a bad grade, you're stupid, or who does something ridiculous and you're saying you're stupid or that was a that was a dumb thing to do. Like there's a difference between your and that and so like, and it's so, it's so common for us to go I did something I am that person, as you're saying versus like, oh, I that was a weird mistake I made or what, why did it like, like, it's so, it's so crazy how we just like bring it on and our brain is not going to like, go metal on us and go rogue and go no, no, hold on. That's not you. (Inaudible) okay, that's what I am. 


    Ryan Lang 20:18  

    Yep, yep. It'll eat, it'll eat whatever you feed it. And, and you know, so when fast forward when I kind of started to when I was really kind of starting from scratch, Ryan 2.0, after I left my partnership and started over, I literally sat down with myself and one thing and I didn't even understand, I had done very little inner work to that point and I didn't even fully understand what I was doing. But one of the best decisions that I made, whether I knew I was doing it consciously or not, was that I didn't sit down and say, okay, what is it that I want my life to look like or what do I want to do in life or not even what do I want a day to look like? What I did is I sat down and I asked myself, who do I want to be? What do I want to be able to say who is the human that I want to show up as and that I want other people to see day in and day out? And that became kind of the bedrock for everything that I built. And what was interesting about that is that all of the things that had swirled around in my mind about where I wanted to go and the things I wanted to do and all of that stuff, when I focused on who I wanted to be and how I wanted to show up and what I needed to do to actually become that all of the rest of the things just came. 


    Lesley Logan 21:52  

    Yeah. I mean, you just described be it till you see it. Like that's the best, that's the best question you could have asked yourself versus like, it's so easy for us to go to the day or the calendar or the the thing the action. But it really is you have to understand the who so that you can understand, like, what would that person do? Like, how would that person show up like what of those actions I would take? Well, I love that so much. And I also like, you know, it's so important, because I have done, you know, many, many years ago, one of the first times I ever did like a goals like a one-year, five-year, 10-year thing was in 2012 I think maybe 2011. And if you do it like that, it's great. You'll get what you put down guys like it's, I got like exactly put down and I got it fast. And I wrote it. But it didn't make me happy because I didn't start with the who I started with the what. And like, so I remember, like everything was going along and I'm like, okay, now I'm going to be, start to find a yoga training. I'm like, do I want to be a yoga teacher? Like I'm a Pilates? Do I need to be a yoga teacher too? Like, it was this weird question that I was like, hold on, what did I write down? Like, what were, are these my goals? And so I had to go back to the drawing board a year later and go, Okay, who is? Who am I wanting to show up as, and then let's do this again. And it's really, really important because you will get what you want. Like, you, what you put out there you'll get. It's really amazing. And also like if you put out the wrong thing, you're gonna get that thing.


    Ryan Lang 23:18  

    Amen. Amen. 100%. And I love the way that you phrase that because it's so true if we attack the what first, we don't necessarily become who we want to become in the pursuit of the what, that was literally what sent me in the wrong direction in the first place. I was in complete pursuit of the what, with no belief or understanding of who I wanted to be and how I wanted to show up in the world and all of that kind of stuff and it led me to a really, really dark place. And I think that's especially circling back to the person that identifies as a high achiever, high performer, whatever. More often than not, that's it, they get fixated on a what, and once they realize they can do the what everything else kind of goes by the wayside and they inevitably become something that they don't choose. And just the same way that we have the ability to choose who we become by not paying attention to that and not choosing we can become anything and then wake up one day and go holy crap, who the hell is this?


    Lesley Logan 24:25  

    Well, we become so like, I was just listening to another podcast where it's like, if you aren't really clear on the things you want, or the like the thing, the who you want to be it's very easy for your algorithm to serve you that like, because like, I like curate my, if I don't like what I'm saying like okay, I need to do some searching like I need to recreate this algorithm. I love being cookie guys. Like you've heard it, you've heard me say, I say it all the time (inaudible) in my life. I'm like, yep, I like that because I want you to serve it to me again later. Thank you so much. Like if you aren't intentional about these things, you'll get served. And so I have a client who is like okay, I'm on this like, have you seen like the kitchen TikTok? And she's like, I'm buying these baskets. I'm like, what are you talking about? Last week you were focusing on rugs. What are you doing buying kitchen pantry stuff? Like what? No, your your whole life is being told what you're going to be based on because you don't know what it is. You're not super clear. Yeah, it's your it's, you know, many, many years ago before social media was like, if you don't have goals, someone's goals will become yours. Like it's the same kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. So okay, so all this work, all this stuff you've got you really focus on the who? What are you excited about right now? So now that you're like, on the other side, you got this 2020 hindsight, like, what? What are you so excited about right now? What are you focusing on?


    Ryan Lang 25:41  

    Oh, man, you know, for me, I'll say this in two ways. First things first, I'll talk about what I'm kind of excited for others for, you know, when I got into the coaching space, just like any other area of entrepreneurship or business ownership, I didn't know what I didn't know. And I knew nothing at that time. So I got my ass handed to me, over and over, and over and over again. And one thing that I love a lot about where I sit right now is that I sit in a space in this moment in the work that I get to do with people and the work that Empire gets to do with people and companies where we have failed over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. And we've watched others fail over and over and over and over and over again. So much so to the point where we figured out a lot of things that most people haven't. And one of the things that I'm most excited for is that right now, I believe that I and we collectively are so well positioned to help so many people who in turn are going to go out and help others that excites the ever living hell out of me right now. And what I love even more is that I also recognize that this isn't a place in any way, shape, or form. I believe that if I wake up one day and feel like I've arrived anywhere, I'm in big trouble. You know, it's I'm sitting in a place in this moment, personally, where what really excites me is that I'm also kind of ready for like my big shift. So, you know, the ironically, this year has kind of been a lot of my work starting on, you know, Ryan 3.0 at this point, you know, so I'm super excited personally to, to kind of take a lot of next big steps, and step into a lot of spaces that are unfamiliar and play with a whole lot of people that, you know, in the past, I thought maybe we're, you know, too far ahead. And, you know, it's gonna be a lot of fun, and I'm ready to buckle up and, you know, go fast. 


    Lesley Logan 27:53  

    I love that. I think that's really cool. And I also, you know, I want to help highlight, like, back when you're Ryan 1.0 your work is all about money. And then now it's about the impact on the people. And like, I feel like that's something that I focus on, I think about a lot because we, I want as many people in the world to do Pilates, like it's I'm just obsessed, I know, it's a great thing. I also know that like, not everyone will like me, and I'm not everyone's, like, I'm also not the best teacher for you. If you've got like pelvic floor issues, there's going to be other people for that, like I have. So I love that the more I help these other teachers, the more impact that makes because they actually can get their message out to the people that they're going to help and then those people are gonna have their lives up. So like, it's kind of this thing where it's like, when you do focus on like, the amount of people you can impact, like you it really does make the work you we do, like, more exciting because it's less about, like how much we're going to charge for that and more about, like, how are we going to make how we get these many people to how you help them? How are they going to hear it, how we can help. And I think that that it makes it way more fun and it does require more work on on the part of ourselves because you gotta keep growing and learning to configure it, how to help them in a different place that they're at. So I think that's really cool. Ryan, I'm excited for you. We're gonna take a brief break everyone, and then we're going to come find out where you can work with Ryan, hear more about what he is doing, and his Be It Action Items. 


    Lesley Logan 29:20  

    Alright, Ryan, where can people find you follow you connect with you more?


    Ryan Lang 29:23  

    Yeah, so you can get me on Instagram @RealRyanLang L-A-N-G on Instagram and easily findable on Facebook and LinkedIn as well. If you are in the coaching space and you want to be able to grow, scale your coaching business, you can check us out at www.empirepartners.io and we've also right now, you know we were very heavy into business consulting in general, but in addition to that, we do a significant amount in sales arena as well. And so if you want to check out our sales program that is good for any type of consultative, consultative selling, you can do that at www.closeeveryone.com. 


    Lesley Logan 30:11  

    Cool. We have a lot of coaches who listen in all different kinds of areas, so I'm excited for them to connect with you guys. Okay, you, you've told us amazing stuff that has some great nuggets. But just for our amazing listeners who are the recovering perfectionist, overachievers, who would like some action items at the end? What are some bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted steps they can take to be it till you see it?


    Ryan Lang 30:34  

    Yeah. Number one, as you and I talked about earlier, I think it is, first and foremost, don't do anything before you figure out the who, start with exactly who you want to be and I would even say, as you're sitting down and setting annual goals and things of that nature, before you even set those out, how do I want to show up this year? Who do I want to be? And how does that person do what they do day in and day out? And then, you know, the next step for me and anybody that I'm coaching, personally is, what are what are the things essentially I've got to build collateral for myself so that my subconscious can catch up with the things that I'm doing and who I want to be and where I want to go. So in order to build that collateral, I'm going to sit down, and I'm going to say, okay, what are some small steps that I can take literally every day and hammer in that nail, just like we talked about, so that when I look in the mirror, I actually believe that I am becoming that person. And eventually, I can easily become that person by simply sitting down and chunking my goals down to what are some small approachable tasks, and just so that it's not totally nebulous. A perfect example is if we're talking about health and fitness, I might say, you know, if I don't go to the gym at all right now, I don't do anything physical. It might be okay, you know what, I want to be the type of person who goes to the gym five days a week, but I don't know that I can trust myself to really show up and do that yet. So I'm going to promise myself that I'll go for a walk five minutes, 10 minutes every single day? Well, if I do that for a week, and then I do it for two weeks, well, now all of a sudden, I'm a walker, I can identify as that person, right? And then I can, I can stack something else small right on top of that, okay, cool. I'm a walker, you know, what, one day a week, I'm going to go to the gym, and I'm going to do a full body weight training session one day a week, well, I do that for a month or two. Now all of a sudden, now all of a sudden, I'm a gym person, right? So I think it really is deciding who and then you know, small things that you'll do repeatedly, day in and day out, that can start conditioning that identity where you build up that collateral with yourself and your subconscious, executing on those things, and then stacking the next small step right on top of it. Because at the end of the day, it isn't with any kind of a goal or an outcome, it's we can't predict the goal or the outcome, what we can predict and decide on every single day is that we're going to do the things that we believe will eventually get us there. So we fall in love with the journey, we set the outcome, we forget about it, we fall in love with the journey and we do it over and over again, and then see where we're at and adjust.


    Lesley Logan 33:31  

    I love all of those. I really do. And I love that you just said at the end because we can't control the journey. And like, if you are someone who identifies an abundance mindset person, then you have to like one of my, I remember, I wanted this house, the house we're in right now. And I remember telling my therapist, I was like, I'm just so nervous like what if we don't get it, like and she's like, oh, hold on, you are an abundance mindset person, you have to believe that there's other houses out there. Like if you don't, like you know, like, you can't get so obsessed with the outcome that you take away like what could possibly happen. And so I was like, okay, so I just need to fall in love with this process. And I just need to enjoy this journey that I'm on that could lead if it doesn't lead to this one, it's going to lead to even better one like it's gonna lead to exactly what's supposed to happen. And it was just such an interesting thing because it reframed how I like looked at the things that I was like holding on so tight as the outcome I want in, it's way less stressful. Just like, let it, let it happen. Yeah, Ryan, you're so awesome. I'm so glad we met and thank you for being here and sharing your journey with us. I know. I think that the way we when people share a story like that allows all of us to identify like different parts in our life. And we really went oh, that's interesting. That's what I was doing back then. And that allows us all to grow. So you're amazing, y'all. How are we going to use these tips in your life? Make sure you tag Ryan Lang, tag the Be It pod so we can share this, send this to a friend who needs to hear it, send it to your friend who you are like, oh my God, they keep self-deprecating. They're identifying as something that they're not, send it to them because it's, they might be the thing that they need to hear so that they can change their life. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 35:06  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 

     


    Lesley Logan 35:34  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 35:49  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 35:54  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 35:58  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 36:05  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


    Brad Crowell 36:08  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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    36m - Apr 16, 2024
  • 354. Taking Risks and Trying Something New

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    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    It's fuck yeah Friday. 


    Brad Crowell 0:01  

    Fuck yeah.

     


    Lesley Logan 0:02  

    Get ready for some wins. 


    Lesley Logan 0:05  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

     


    Lesley Logan 0:46  

    Hi, Be It babe. How are you? Oh, my goodness, it is that time of the week. It is Friday. So this is where we celebrate your wins, and we celebrate my wins. And we also hopefully inspire you to celebrate more wins and find them throughout your day. It's so, so important. It's so easy to like get caught up in all the stuff that's not going well. And so today, we're not going to end the week like, on how behind we are already in the week on all the things we did well, so let's hit your wins up first. Thank you for sending them in. You can send them into the Be It Pod and we'll share them with you. So Ainsley, Ainsley is an Agency member and she's also in eLevate round four this year, but she wrote, It's 7:30am on a cold January Sunday, and this week, I paid off my final installment of my second reformer. I nearly overlooked it as I press pay automatically, but it glitched and didn't go through so I had to press pay again and paused wow, I did this. So I'm celebrating. Egg sourdough and sparkling tea. Cheers. Thank you, to me for all of my hard work and paying it off and having the courage to commit to it and all of you whose energy and encouragement is essential and contagious. I have Sunday self-practice and cuppas with the new eLevate group. Thank you. So you are so welcome. Ainsley, you are just I thank you for taking a moment to celebrate this because I bet you there's someone listening to this right now who just paid off their final credit card bill or their final payment on their car, or they're getting closer or like I remember, I remember I paid off my student loans. I was like, oh my god, I just, that was the last payment. That's it. That's all. That's all it is. I'm done. And it was like, I just, I remember like, wanting to celebrate and then going oh my god, everyone to celebrate with is still paying off their student loans. So like, no one's gonna wanna celebrate. And you know what? I should have celebrated with them because they should have celebrated with me too. Like, we should be celebrating the things that we did well. Congratulations. Thank you for sharing that with us. 


    Lesley Logan 2:36  

    All right. Jenna Dennis. Okay. She's an Agency member. And she's really cool. We got to see her on the summer tour. So here we go. My wins. I watched LL's talk about bringing in clients. And earlier in the day, I had hesitated reaching out to someone in my network. I was thinking she's going to be irritated. I'm reaching out to her about marketing. But during the class when LL talked about that very topic, I paused the class, texted her, and she was so excited I text her about it. Three new people sign up for my herb classes. I changed the marketing based off homework with Lesley and Lesley's talking about giving early bird prices for retreat. I took this weekend off and managed to say no to people who reached out and wanted sessions I finally launched my new client welcome email series to nurture new clients. It worked and the new client clicked to read my bio on my website. I had some problems come up with my website. So I'm transitioned over in inconvenient times that I remember LL saying one of the reasons you can't level up your business is you can't handle the next level problems and totally changed my attitude about it. And I went from overwhelmed and oh shit with a side of panicking to wait, stop. Whatever. This is not a big deal. And I totally fixed the whole issue myself after reading copious amounts of directions on the internet. I'm actually excited to have total control over my website. Heck yeah. Oh my gosh, Jenna, these are all just so fricking great. Thank you first of all for listening to the webinars that I do. And taking those notes and integrating them because look how it's helping you like you're doing it you know, just so awesome. 


    Lesley Logan 4:04  

    Alright, we'll do one more. Djamila. She's been kicking butt you guys. If you ever had to move house before and like change your whole business and have kids while you're doing it like this, she is doing that and so this one is for all of you who are like moms who are trying to make magic happen and also having to like start a new study so Djamila is in our Agency members and she said so while I'm bleeding money at the moment these past weeks I've learned to advertise via meta easy upgraded and I'm using Canva pro have a superfan client who's bringing me more business I'm working that connection and excited and touched by the progress one of my new clients is making she is almost paralyzed from the waist down. My employees are amazingly supportive with her too and it's so nice to watch that in action, have drafted an introduction invitation letter to physiotherapist in my neighborhood have prepared at my house to receive 450 moving boxes from South Africa and Myra farmers finally got quality cert certified. This means my clients can get financial assistance from Swiss health insurance to come to my studio and I'm leveraging my moon cycle to really use my Peak Pro to productivity times and rest too and making progress and getting out of my own way. And I let go of all the things I cannot come to keep up with this week. Well, Jamila, I think you just helped all of us do that, too. You're so great. Like, I love these wins. I love that you're seeing these obstacles as like opportunities and wins. And you're also in observation mode of all the things around you that are going so well. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, you guys send your wins in, I want to read them here. I want to help you also it's so cool, as I'm probably sure you've heard, some of these wins are a couple months old by the content that come out. So that means when you hear your win again, you get to re-celebrate what you just did, which is so freaking fun. 


    Lesley Logan 5:39  

    All right, my win. So I've two wins. Last week, the affirmation was like I leave room for spontaneity. I have this fun win. I had been overwhelmed with work load. And to be honest, because I went so long without having help that like I just got really, really behind. And then we had retreats in a row, several retreats in a row that eLevate like, there's just a lot of things going on. So just wasn't really able to, like take time to just relax and rest because I fell behind on things. And I was also working. And so Brad was like, hey, change your clothes, we're gonna go somewhere. And instead of going, Nope, I'm fighting with him to stay and like stay in my overwhelm. I was like, okay, how much more money can I get? And you guys, I left room for spontaneity. And it was so fun, ended up not being what he wanted, he was hoping to take me for a hike and we got all the way to the place and was covered in snow. There was zero way we were gonna hike anywhere. So we pulled the camping chairs out and we sat on a snowed in rode and had a beer while watching the mountain covered in snow. So, you should leave room for spontaneity, it's so fun. Second win, the team for months, has been planning some changes in the Profitable Pilates business. And it's a little scary to do something new in your business because you're like, well, this thing has worked is not, doesn't work the way it used to. But it still works. So like, let's just keep making it work. But the reality is, it's like it's working-ish, right? And so we are starting, we started something new, we did this, Brad led a workshop called Accel. And it's for Pilates teachers and studio owners. And it's our first time running it. And it was so cool to see the team put together new systems, new ways of doing things and test this out. And it was such a success. And I'm so excited because you know, doesn't mean it's gonna be the fifth thing that works. Although I hope it turns into that. We will know, the more we do it a few more times. So if you missed it, don't worry, there's another one. But the truth is, is like, too often, a lot of us will just keep doing what we've been doing because it sort of works. And we know it. And the truth is, is that sometimes you got to do something new to get new things, right? And so anyways, way to go team, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of what you and Brad put together. And I'm so excited for all the people who have joined Agency because of that thing that you did. And if you guys are interested in Accel, stay listening to the pod, we'll probably have another one next month. And you can actually DM the team and they'll give you the link so you can get signed up for that. But it's gonna change your business and your business is there to make massive impact. It's not always about making the money, although you will. But if you get to focus on the actual impact you want to make, it makes it really fun to do. So two awesome wins for this week. So grateful for spontaneity and an amazing team that's willing to take risks and try something new, and have fun with an experiment. 


    Lesley Logan 5:39  

    All right, gotta give you an affirmation because we love those and also because it might help you do something with your weekend. So my body is worthy of being cared and adorned in beautiful garments. Well, go shopping, loves. That's what that one means. My body is worthy of being cared for and adorned in beautiful garments. So go get your movement on. Go have some fun, putting on some beautiful garments, my body is worthy of being adorned and put in beautiful garments. Have an amazing day. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.


    Lesley Logan 8:55  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 

     


    Lesley Logan 9:23  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 9:38  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 9:43  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 9:47  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. 


    Lesley Logan 9:54  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.



    Brad Crowell 9:58  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donations

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    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    10m - Apr 12, 2024
  • 353. How to Strategically Manage Your Debts and Start Investing

    In this reflective episode, Lesley and Brad unpack the wisdom behind Tess Waresmith's approach to financial literacy, focusing on the dual objectives of debt management and investing for your future. Drawing from Tess's experiences and their own insights, the hosts explore how to navigate the financial landscape with confidence. By highlighting the importance of understanding your financial standing and the potential of investments, this discussion offers a clear guide to anyone wanting financial security. 



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Why it’s never too late to start your investment journey at any age. 
    • When you should prioritize debt repayment over investing.
    • Why it’s important to learn the basic fundamentals of investing. 
    • How journaling about money can transform your financial goals.


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    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    If your loans are under 7% just give yourself permission to just let them be and focus on having some fun investing and watching your money grow versus like watching like this student loan payment every month because that's just exhausting. 


    Lesley Logan 0:14  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

      


    Lesley Logan 0:56  

    Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the enriching convo I have with Tess Waresmith in our last episode. 


    Brad Crowell 1:04  

    (Inaudible) enriching. 


    Lesley Logan 1:05  

    Very much so. I thought it was an appropriate word. So great job team. If you haven't yet listened to that one, you're gonna want to, my dears, you really, really are. But you can listen to this one first and then go back and then listen to that one. Brad was saying before we hit record, or maybe you'll hear it already. We are at episode 353. 


    Brad Crowell 1:24  

    That's amazing.


    Lesley Logan 1:25  

    That's insane. 


    Lesley Logan 1:26  

    That is a, I mean, I never imagined. 


    Lesley Logan 1:29  

    I know it's a lot. Wow. So way to go, team, 353. There are no balloons for this episode, but you know we are celebrating in our hearts. Today is April 11th 2024 and that is Dog Therapy Appreciation Day. So about this day, Dog Therapy Appreciation Day is celebrated on April 11th every year to appreciate the dogs who come for us by being therapy dogs. Therapy dogs go through a rigorous testing program before they become certified with their certification to become eligible to visit hospitals and nursing homes to give comfort to people. Therapy Dogs are usually at first pets who receive training and then become therapy dogs. Being around dogs makes everyone happy. And on this day we thank dogs are making us happier. It's true. They say if you want unconditional love get a dog. Because otherwise if you get a cat you just gotta remain. You never know what the cat you know. Some people's cats are loving, some people's cats are a little diva. Just saying. Just saying.


    Brad Crowell 2:26  

    My friend's cat knocks his stuff off of his table. It just sits there. Yeah, sits there and just p-p-p-p-poop funk knocks it off the table.


    Lesley Logan 2:36  

    Ah that's so funny. 


    Brad Crowell 2:39  

    Yeah, pretty hilarious. 


    Lesley Logan 2:41  

    So we've upcoming events so we want to share with you. So first of all, we're flying to your Sarasota today there's going to be a fun little private event to celebrate just mapping out you know, the podcast and her her app you can meet us at Pilates on tour at Phoenix, which is from Balanced Body on April 26th to the 28th so you can come see us in person we're gonna have a booth, we're gonna have flashcards. It's a huge event. It's a big, big party because Pilates anytime (inaudible)


    Brad Crowell 3:03  

    No dogs. I wish we could bring the dogs. 


    Lesley Logan 3:05  

    We're not bringing the dogs. 


    Brad Crowell 3:07  

    It's going to be so hot so we're not gonna bring them.


    Lesley Logan 3:09  

    (Inaudible) It's just that we're doing a booth and we cannot have three dogs at our tiny booth. Yeah. So. So you'll definitely want to check that out. I hope if you're coming already, let us know. And make sure you come up and say hi to us. Let us know what your favorite episode is. We love hearing that. We were just in Texas and people are sharing like quoting the episodes and they're quoting episodes like one and episode five and I was like wow, like yeah, we go back and listen, I was like, you're fucking awesome. Thank you so much. So ladies, hi. So fun to see you in person, you know who you are. In May we'll have the Accelerator for Profitable Pilates. This is the two-hour workshop that Brad leads where you actually get to learn how to accelerate your business, your studio and really, truly get to work on it in the workshop, which is really cool. He's going to teach you his 'accel' formula, which is about acquiring and cultivating and basically making clients for life and it's super, super fun. So you'll want to do that. 


    Brad Crowell 4:03  

    Not just making class for life, like bringing them in making them class for life, but then setting them up so they invite their friends and family to come to your studio.


    Lesley Logan 4:12  

    Yeah, so you can go to PRfit.biz/accelerator


    Brad Crowell 4:16  

    That's PRfit.biz/accelerator. 


    Lesley Logan 4:19  

    It's also like $47. So it's really it's a no-brainer to say yes. 


    Brad Crowell 4:23  

    If you're looking to jumpstart your business, come take this. 


    Lesley Logan 4:26  

    Or you're still stuck. Go take it, right? And also in May. 


    Brad Crowell 4:31  

    Yeah, this is really exciting news.


    Lesley Logan 4:33  

    First time sharing this on the pod. 


    Brad Crowell 4:34  

    We're back. 


    Lesley Logan 4:35  

    We're back. Okay, so the Cambodia retreat is sold out. 


    Brad Crowell 4:39  

    Yeah. October 24 it sold out, y'all. I'm so excited. It's gonna be the most incredible trip. And because of it, we thought, well, we better get the next one ready.


    Lesley Logan 4:51  

    Yeah. So because actually people who are still wanting to come I actually was talking to some people were like, oh, February is even better for me. So that's great. So February 2025 early bird is going to open up in May. Again, waitlist.


    Brad Crowell 5:02  

    Yeah, it's going to be Feb 23 to 28, 2025. But we're gonna do the the earlybird in May of this year. 


    Lesley Logan 5:09  

    Yeah, so waitlist. You've got to be on the waitlist. 


    Brad Crowell 5:11  

    Get on the waitlist.


    Lesley Logan 5:11  

    If you're not on the waitlist, you don't find about this early bird. 


    Brad Crowell 5:13  

    That's right. Get on that waitlist.


    Lesley Logan 5:14  

    You've got to be on the waitlist. And it's a limited time early bird by the way, so. 


    Brad Crowell 5:17  

    Yeah, it's only going to be two weeks, y'all.


    Lesley Logan 5:19  

    So you want to go to lesleylogan.co/retreats. My name is spelled L-E-S-L-E-Y.


    Brad Crowell 5:24  

    And that's retreats, plural, plural. Yeah, lesleylogan.co/retreats.


    Lesley Logan 5:30  

    And then coming up in June, right around the corner is going to be our summer camp. And it's huge. You guys, we are looking at eight events each day, 16 events for summer camp. Oh my god, this is a huge dream. I'm so, so excited.


    Brad Crowell 5:45  

    If you can't be on 10 hours of Pilates classes. That's okay. Because the cool thing about summer camp is you'll be able to keep the, the replays. 


    Lesley Logan 5:55  

    Yeah, you get the replays for life, which is amazing. And so if you can't be there for the first weekend of June live, you can just buy them while they're on early bird. And by the way, Early Bird really gets the worm on this one because our OPC members get the best early bird. And then if you're on the waitlist, you get the next best early bird. And if you're not on the waitlist, you get the next best early bird which is not as good as any other early bird. So you want to go to opc.me/events, plural, events plural. So opc.me/events to get on the waitlist, if you're an OPC member, you don't need to get on the waitlist, just make sure you're watching your inbox and the community for when you're when your window opens up to sign up.


    Brad Crowell 6:35  

    Just a super sneak peek on that not only we're gonna have a bunch of amazing teachers coming in and guest teachers. But also, this is like a big event for us, y'all. This is a big deal. I anticipate there being a ton of people participating. We took a look at last year how we ran everything and we decided this year, we're going to shift it up, we're actually going to offer day passes. And that is going to be the best possible rate. And you don't want to miss the day passes. It's going to be awesome. So great, great stuff. We're really fired up. And can't wait. So yeah. opc.me/events. So this week, we did have an audience question from YouTube. Sophia asked, 'What kind of reformer length should I have for someone who is six foot tall? 


    Lesley Logan 7:18  

    Yeah. Yeah. So also, there's another Pilates question I didn't want to bring in the brand name, But she was like, I'm looking at this brand name, and it seems really pricey. And I looked it up and it was only $2,000. And I had to say that's actually really expensive for a good reformer. However, I still wouldn't get it. So I let Sophia know that. But what I will say for all of you, if you are six feet tall, you can still operate on an 80-inch reformer, it's when you get above 6'3, that you're going to want to be more than 86-inch reformer. And why these things matter is just because it's, it's


    Brad Crowell 7:52  

    It's physics. It's literally like geometry. It's physics.


    Lesley Logan 7:55  

    Well, it's also like, when you press your legs too straight, you hit the end of the reformer. And if you're too tall, your legs don't get too straight. And it's and I will say just for the record, actually never care if the knees get straightened footwork, I only care that the hips open up the front of the hips open up so you could still be on too short reformer, that wouldn't be fun. So I would say you can, Sophia, you probably still could do the Contrology 80-inch but you might enjoy it in 86-inch for anyone under six feet tall, the 80-inch is going to be so awesome. Like, I'm five nine and gets towards spine a little tricky. I have to start at a harder spot. But oh my God, I love the support of the straps. Because again, physics where the strap hits the reformer and into the springs is a shorter distance than on an 86-inch so that's why I love it.


    Brad Crowell 8:40  

    And also I know you still work with pro football players on an 80-inch.


    Lesley Logan 8:45  

    I did, I did. They were 6'3" or shorter. So they were totally fine. 


    Brad Crowell 8:49  

    If you're working with basketball, people who are 6'10" and seven-foot. 


    Lesley Logan 8:52  

    I think they're like seven foot now. But also like if you are working with a team of basketball players, then by all means, like go get there's bigger formers for that. But if you are working with one NBA player, and you have an 86-inch, you're gonna be fine. You'll just you can do other exercises that they can't do on the reformer somewhere else.


    Brad Crowell 9:10  

    You said 86-inch, you meant 80? 


    Lesley Logan 9:12  

    No, they could do an 86-inch. 


    Brad Crowell 9:14  

    But if they have only one basketball player? 


    Lesley Logan 9:17  

    Yeah, I think well, the 80-inch is going to be a little tricky. 


    Brad Crowell 9:20  

    Yeah, are you saying there's bigger than 86? 


    Lesley Logan 9:22  

    Yeah, there's an 89. 


    Brad Crowell 9:23  

    Oh, I didn't know that. 


    Lesley Logan 9:24  

    There are some people that like 90-somethings don't do that you guys, there's no need. Again.


    Brad Crowell 9:28  

    Also the leverage, like the amount of you know muscle that's needed to be able to pull that strap. Yeah, is like gonna be really, really challenging, especially as your clients get older. 


    Lesley Logan 9:38  

    I know shout out to Joanna, an eLevator, she's like I would have paid attention to our physics class if it was taught to me as like it's Pilates. Yeah. And it's true like, like every workshop I'm doing okay, so guys physics, right? So like, this if you do x and you try to do y the window chair is gonna fall over, but I truly like for mostly listening to this, I'm just gonna say 80-inches that's really, really awesome. It's just so, so great. And if you have to get an 86, that's fine as well. But you can check out on YouTube I have a whole video on the reformer for like which one to get for home. It's not one that slides underneath the bed. It's an 80-inch performer spoiler alert. But I go over all the different things you want to look at when it comes to choosing a reformer and why you want to make sure that you're not getting one with bungee cords or, or like one that goes underneath the bed because all these different changes affect how you can do the practice and what you can do. A reformer that's too low to the floor you can't do pulling straps, it's a basic, amazing exercise everybody needs to do. So you can watch that video. 


    Brad Crowell 10:37  

    It's called Best Pilates Reformer for Home: How to Choose the Best Reformer for you. That's the video name. And that's just right on our YouTube channel.


    Lesley Logan 10:44  

    Yeah, yeah. So you can watch that, check it out. And then if you have questions about it let me know also, if you want a discount, we got it.


    Brad Crowell 10:49  

    Or you want me to clarify the YouTube channel, because we have one for the pod, it's on the Online Pilates Classes YouTube channel. 


    Lesley Logan 10:55  

    Yeah. Do you know what that that URL is? I'll tell you guys, I got it memorized. It's really weird. youtube.com/@onlinepilatesclasses, because they go we're gonna give you a handle, it's like a social media thing. But you can't actually use the handle. You have to do youtube.com/@onlinepilatesclasses. 


    Brad Crowell 11:12  

    It's because you can at mention people now in comments. They're really trying to get the community element going. 


    Lesley Logan 11:16  

    Yeah, no one's recovering a million people's edits. Fine. Whatever. Anyway, Sophia, thank you for that question. And also you guys, we have discount links when it comes to purchasing Balanced Body's equipment, whether it's a Balanced Body line or the Contrology line. 


    Brad Crowell 11:29  

    Yeah and sidenote, did you know, we have a YouTube channel for the pod? 


    Lesley Logan 11:34  

    We do.


    Brad Crowell 11:35  

    If you like to watch these to watch this show, you can. We are actually on video. We're staring at each other in a video camera.


    Lesley Logan 11:43  

    Yeah, and all of our guests are on video. 


    Brad Crowell 11:45  

    It's pretty cool. 


    Lesley Logan 11:46  

    So cool. I hope you check it out.


    Brad Crowell 11:48  

    Yes, just go to the Be It Pod on YouTube. All right, now let's talk about Tess Waresmith. Tess is a financial advisor who turned an 80k loss into a million-dollar net worth by the age of 35, which is incredible. Her mission is to educate women on investing via Wealth with Tess, ensuring financial empowerment, literacy and independence. And I just want to throw in here, great remake on the bio, but she didn't go to college to study finance. In fact, she's an acrobat. And she literally was working on a cruise ship. And you know, that's how she, because she had no expenses literally, they pay for housing and food, so for the time she was on the ship, every penny she made, she was able to put in a bank account. And when she got back, she started investing and didn't really pay attention to it, and it went wrong. And she lost a lot of money. And that really made her angry. And so she started to educate herself. And today she educates others, which is super cool. 


    Lesley Logan 12:48  

    She's so cool. We had her in the agency family, she did a webinar and we actually were able to put her webinar in our agency on-demand curriculum means anyone who comes into on demand or as a pro member for agency, gets to watch her incredible, incredible webinar, which I'm just so friggin grateful. Because then you could if you want to you can work with her. So here's the deal. I loved we talked about demystifying myths around investing because there's a lot of myths around investing. And one of the things we talked about was like that myth, it's too late to invest or catch up. I know for me, I'm always like, fuck, I should have started when I was 20. And I didn't start till I was 31. And like, you know, I look at it sometimes we just looked at with like these wealth advisors we're talking to and I'm like, how's it only that much? You know, how was it only that much?


    Brad Crowell 13:34  

    Yeah. It's also been in there for a long time and you were kind of cross-eyed, and like, really? 


    Lesley Logan 13:39  

    And I also actually, because of Tess, I like I really was like, look at this and tell me what's going on. And they said, oh, it's that they're not being aggressive with it like you want it. And I was like, I literally, Brad and I literally had a call with them a year ago and said, make it, be aggressive. And they still didn't. So thank goodness for Tess and opened my eyes because now we know and we can move it. But anyways, she said age does not matter investing, it's never too late. Even if you've done some mistakes that are irreversible. She's like, if you're starting to take action, you still have time to make a massive difference. And she said, the longer you wait, the harder it is going to be to reach your financial goals. So like, basically going it's too late to invest is not, you got it, you can just start now and like it doesn't have to be too late.


    Brad Crowell 14:23  

    I feel like we need to even take a step back like this idea of financial goals is this like it's an amorphous not like thing. It doesn't make any sense. It like do people actually, obviously, more is better. Mo better, right? That's the way I've always thought of financial goals. But the more we've been educating ourselves about this, the more I'm realizing there is an actual number out there that you will want to you know, kind of go for over your career of making money. That's your entire life so that when you retire, you have enough money to live the lifestyle you want to live and it's like talking with Tess was really interesting because it allowed not only the podcast interview. 


    Lesley Logan 15:04  

    She needs a podcast called Talking with Tess. 


    Brad Crowell 15:06  

    Talking with Tess. 


    Lesley Logan 15:07  

    I know she's Wealth With Tess, but like Talking with Tess 


    Brad Crowell 15:09  

    It's pretty good. It's a good alliteration. But the like understanding the foundational elements of like a financial plan, and what does that even mean? What is this amorphous, like goal that you may or may not have yet? Like, and how do you start to go forward toward it? These are all the things that she begins to teach. And, you know, she's teaching I mean, and she, what was cool is, you know, there's a couple of different ways to do it. There's like the, you know, hire someone let them do it, right, for you and you're paying them the 1% thing, there are things you just like, buy it, never look at it ever again. And there's people who try to like actually play the stock market, right? Those are kind of the three different ways that you know, and she, she kind of, she has different programs that educate you through those things. And I thought it was really great, because maybe, depending on who you are, where you are, what your financial position is, and your goals are, you know, it depends on which avenue you may want to go. And then there are different things inside of that. I was poking around her website, if y'all can't tell. It's good. So yeah, I really loved that she said, a lot of people feel like they have to pay off all of their debt, even their mortgage or their student loans before they start investing. So this is myth number two. Myth number one was what Lesley said, it's, oh, it's too late for me, I didn't start when I was 20. So why even bother? No, wrong. Second one is you don't have to pay off all your debt before you begin investing. There is like a, like a generalization that if you're, if you have a loan, and it's less than 7%, you know, the on average, the money that you may invest in things is going to be like, not not in like, like, obviously, when I'm talking to savings account here, but it's going to be greater than 7% on average, over I think this is like over a 10-year period or something like that. Anyway, the point is this, if you have a credit card, it has 27% interest rate, and then you take all your money and you put it in the stock market, you're not going to be doing yourself any favors, you should be paying off the 27% interest rate right now, get that down. But if you have a mortgage or a school loan, and it's like 4%, right, then 


    Lesley Logan 17:21  

    Let it be, just pay what you're supposed to pay. 


    Brad Crowell 17:23  

    Yeah, pay what you're supposed to pay, feel free to add a little bit on top, that's fine. But like, you don't need to be dumping money onto that 4% loan, you'd be better off serving yourself by taking that money and investing it in a way that will bring you seven or 8% greater, you know, or whatever. And so, so the point is, if you have high-interest debt, then you do need, you want to get rid of that right away. That's the first primary and that could, right away could take a year or two. 


    Lesley Logan 17:49  

    It could take up and also by the way, because I used to have a lot of credit cards and student loan debt and lived in California in LA with lots of things. I literally just took, I did the minimums on everything and paid off the highest interest rate bill I had, then I took that money and went to the next highest interest rate bill. And then I, it's like all the other ones I was just paying like like barely a little over minimum, because it's like, they're all more, they're all lower than this. And I have to get this one down. And I was able to take that money unto this one and that one, and I got out of my credit card debt faster than I actually thought because I was being very intentional about it it's kind of interesting how like, when you focus on it like, what you're able to do, and I paid my student loans off months earlier than I thought not even because I paid extra, I just actually had it set up, where I always paid the same amount no matter what the interest was, because I had this like interest rate, and it went down while I had them. But I kept paying the same amount. And so I had a higher payment going to the principal. So it goes it does go away. We just have to also not look at it like oh my god, I'm financially illiterate. I'm a stupid person for these things. No, like, you know what, guys? I wouldn't I want to live in a world where it doesn't cost $80,000 to go to a regular college, I would love to see that I would love to see a world where you don't have to go to college to be a fucking secretary. Like you don't need to. But we don't live in that world right now. So you just have to go I made these amazing choices. I probably met some incredible people. And I'm gonna make this payment, put it on auto pay and do some things. But also if the interest is under seven, which most student loans is and if the IRS is not, let's figure that out. But 


    Brad Crowell 19:26  

    Yeah, just to clarify that statement. I want to put the descriptor word in that sentence a lot differently. You don't have to go to fucking college to be a secretary. 


    Lesley Logan 19:36  

    No, you don't. You don't. 


    Brad Crowell 19:39  

    The point is like you can make a living being a secretary you can make a living. You don't need to go to college to make a living. You can but you don't necessarily need to. 


    Lesley Logan 19:49  

    Yeah, I say that because like, I definitely I now use my degree but like I use college as a way to get out of like my hometown and I'm grateful because I wouldn't be on this journey. And I wouldn't know the people I have if I hadn't done it. But also, also, I couldn't have done what I did in retail, which taught me what I needed to do to do business with Pilates. Anyways, so would I've been in business coach, maybe not, but that doesn't, that doesn't really matter. So I think it's just really important. Just to go back to, if you're, if your loans are under 7%. Just give yourself permission to just let them be. And focus on having some fun investing and watching your money grow versus like watching like this student loan payment every month, because that's just exhausting. 


    Brad Crowell 20:34  

    So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. Say it with me, y'all. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Tess Waresmith?


    Lesley Logan 20:45  

    I wonder if anyone does it? Anyone says it with you.


    Brad Crowell 20:47  

    If any of you say that with me every single week, I want to know, I want to know you needed the (inaudible)


    Lesley Logan 20:53  

    I know Mindy says the intro like she would if for SEO. She's got it memorized. (inaudible)


    Brad Crowell 21:02  

    That is amazing. Okay, cool. So as I was already alluding to, at the beginning of this pod, Tess actually educates people on the subjects and she's got some really approachable courses. It's like a one-month course where she works in small groups with people who are probably, you know, all in the same boat, she said, it's often very revealing, you know, learning the foundational understanding of investing of money about how it all works. And she said, it's very, very possible for you to learn this yourself. It's, it sounds intimidating, but that's only because we don't know what we don't know. Right? But when you begin to see when she you know, you lift the lid on it. She said it's not rocket science here. A lot of the investing that you know, that is happening, we probably could be managing it ourselves, instead of having an organization manage it for us, because they're taking fees that literally we don't need to do, we don't need them to take. Because if you're just setting it and forgetting it, there's really an opportunity for you to manage it yourself. So she said find out where you stand in the ecosystem of learning investment, like, are you trying to be complicated, then maybe you need a team to work with you. But if it's just a set it and forget it, you can make a smart decision. So as long as you know the options, and then you can choose how much money can you invest and watch how it grows. You can learn together, you know, with your partner with your family to be able to make intelligent financial decisions. Well, she said something I really light her fire is investing and teaching kids, right? So she said there's a there's a plan called a 529 plan, which that doesn't mean anything to me other than it's a number, where you can, as a parent, begin to put money into an account for your kids college fund. And if they choose not to go to college, down the road, it can roll into some other kind of a retirement plan.


    Lesley Logan 22:58  

    I know is that, that to me was so cool, that if they don't go to college, it can go into a retirement plan. So it doesn't have to be forced. I love it. I love their option.


    Brad Crowell 23:07  

    That's pretty rad. It's pretty, pretty rad. But how would you ever even know about this stuff? Right? So you gotta you gotta learn. So what about you?


    Lesley Logan 23:16  

    She said, so my biggest takeaway that I want to talk about is journaling on your relationship with money. And I, we and I, we both have done some stuff on this show. So we, of course, I love this because we've been, it was really revealing for us when we did it. So she said ask for, this is for my people who are like, what do I journal? Write this down. Okay she said ask yourself questions like, how do I feel when I make a money transaction? So, when you receive money or when you spend money how does it make you feel? Do I feel like there's an opportunity for me to make more money or not? Do I think I'm capable of learning how to invest? And she said if the answer is no, you need to DM her because she'll talk to you. She'll talk to you, and she's going to absolutely help you because she believes you are more than capable to do it.


    Brad Crowell 24:01  

    Yep. She said there was another thing before we wrap it up. She mentioned she often hears that people say they are or they are not, quote-unquote good with money. Oh, I'm not good with money anyway, so whatever, you know, like I just am doing my thing. And she said that this is like the honestly, from a, be it perspective, Be It Pod perspective, this is like the definition of negative self-talk, even though we don't even realize it, we are counting ourselves out from ever even learning the possibility or understanding that we could be good with money. Right? And we just assume that we don't have the quote-unquote golden touch, you know, that like maybe a (inaudible) investment banker has or whatever stock market person has, like they're good with money. You know, I'm not good with money. No, that's a story we're telling ourselves. Right? And that doesn't have to be the case. And it's also not that complex to learn how you can be good with money. And that's why we love to have this conversation with Tess.


    Lesley Logan 25:04  

    Yeah, she's great. I like want to spend more time with her. So thank you, Tess for helping us become really amazing and hyped up about money and investing. I really, I cannot wait for everyone to tell me how they're gonna use these tips in your life. And by the way, share this with a friend who like says they're not good with money or says that they wish that they understood the money matters in their household more like this is a really, Tess can really help so many women in your life. So. 


    Brad Crowell 25:31  

    Yeah, we'll put her link in the show notes. 


    Lesley Logan 25:32  

    Yeah, so do that right now. And until next time, I'm Lesley Logan. 


    Brad Crowell 25:36  

    And I'm Brad Crowell. 


    Lesley Logan 25:37  

    Thank you so very, very much for being here. 353 episodes if you haven't listened to that, man, you should go listen, I'm just saying, some people listen twice, just no pressure. Let us know what your favorite one is so far, and Be It Till You See It. 


    Brad Crowell 25:51  

    Bye for now. 


    Lesley Logan 25:53  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 

     

     


    Lesley Logan 26:21  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 26:36  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


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    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 26:45  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


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    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


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    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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    26m - Apr 11, 2024
  • 352. Practical Tools on Investing and Financial Security

    Dive into an enriching conversation with Tess Waresmith as she tackles common financial myths and opens the door to investment strategies that are accessible to all. Learn how understanding and overcoming these misconceptions can lead you to a path of financial freedom.



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Why mastering money management is a skill you can develop regardless of your financial background.
    • How Tess's financial missteps became her greatest lessons in achieving financial expertise.
    • Why financial literacy and investing are crucial tools for women's financial empowerment.
    • How to use 529 plans and Roth IRAs for smarter investing and future financial security.
    • Understand why knowing your investment fees can significantly impact your financial growth.


    Episode References/Links:


    Guest Bio:

    Tess is a financial coach and the founder of Wealth with Tess, a financial education community that helps women in their 30’s and 40’s learn how to grow their money using simple investing strategies so that they can retire comfortably, chase their dreams, and live life on their terms. After losing 80k in bad investments in her twenties, Tess learned everything she could about wealth building and built her net worth to 1 million as a single 35 year old woman. Now she’s helped thousands of women learn how to grow their money using simple investing strategies anyone can do (even if you’re short-on-time or a total newbie investor). Thousands of women have attended her free investing workshops, hundreds of women have joined her small group coaching programs, and she regularly shares simple money tips for free on instagram.

     

     

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    Episode Transcript:

    Tess Waresmith 0:00  

    Investing is one of those things that feels really complicated and out of the realm of possibility for us sometimes. But that is just because of the financial jargon. It's because of limiting beliefs. It's because of messaging. Once you actually get a basic education, you realize it's not that complicated, but I definitely did not start out that way and in my 20s actually made a whole lot of big, big investing mistakes. And that's actually why I learned what I learned now. 


    Lesley Logan 0:27  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

     


    All right, Be It babe, we are going to talk about money today. And it's so, so important I do not want you to go I'm gonna skip this one money scares me. No, no, no, this is like you'll be so amazed, so fired up. I'm so excited about what I learned on this episode like so, so excited. I'm immediately, after this, signing up for just at least what Tess just guide us, because y'all one of the reasons I love having her on, and one of the reasons I wanted to have her on is that she is really passionate about normalizing money conversations, especially for women, and investing. And I believe in being it till you see it and I believe in every single one of you having exactly what you want in this minute. And I also believe that there's a security that is needed. And a lot of times we think we're not good with money because we told ourselves a story, or we've been told a story or family told us a story and you're just gonna love Tess, you're gonna love her advice. She's brilliant. She's amazing. And she's going to help you understand how simple it can be to invest. So here is Tess Waresmith. 


    All right, Be It babe, this is gonna be a thrilling conversation. I'm really, really excited to talk about all the things that Tess Waresmith is an expert at. So Tess, thank you for being a guest to us today and can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at? 


    Tess Waresmith 2:22  

    Sure. So my name is Tess. I am a financial educator and I rock at helping women make the most of their hard-earned money by teaching them super, super simple investing strategies and ways to grow their money, even if you're totally new to investing, totally intimidated, have little time, like so many people, and just want to learn how to make sure your money is working for you. So that's what I do. I do that through coaching, teaching, workshops, and I'll always trying to normalize money conversations as much as possible. 


    I love that so much. On many episodes, I've been like, we have to talk about how much money we make ladies, otherwise you don't know how much money you can make at things like if we don't, we've got to normalize that conversation. So I think it's really, really important. Before we get into all that, though, I do. Because I do think that something like oh my God, investing that scares me, this is going to be above my like, level of understanding. Don't turn this off. I really want you to hear it. Can you, have you always just been amazing at money or is it just something that came natural? Were your parents like super good about telling you how to balance a checkbook? Like how did you get to be an expert?


    The short answer is no to all of the above. I did not learn how to manage money as a kid, I was not taught by my parents. In fact, my father was horrible with money and spent a lot of it and now is months behind on mortgage payments. So no, I did not grow up with a deep understanding of money. And I think it's important to realize that most people don't. I feel like we have this misconception around money where you're either good at it or you're not. And I hear so many people say I'm not good at money like it's a skill that you're born with. But just like anything else, it's a skill that you develop that you have to learn. And thankfully, and I'm glad you said not to turn it off when it comes to investing because investing is one of those things that feels really complicated and out of the realm of possibility for us sometimes. But that is just because of the financial jargon. It's because of limiting beliefs. It's because of messaging, once you actually get a basic education, you realize it's not that complicated, but I definitely did not start out that way. And in my 20s actually made a whole lot of big, big investing mistakes. And that's actually why I've learned what I learned now I was sort of forced to because I realized how much money I was losing by doing the wrong things that I went in a deep dive, did all this research and then I realized this crazy truth that it's actually not that hard. And so now I feel honestly morally obligated to do this work because it is so accessible to everyone, especially these days. There's so much great education. There's so many easy ways to invest. You don't have to be good at math. You don't have to be rich already. You don't have to have a ton of money to get started. You don't even need to be totally out of debt. 


    Lesley Logan 5:01  

    Yes, I love that you said that. 


    Tess Waresmith 5:05  

    So I'm really trying to demystify a lot of the myths around investing because there's so many and at the end of the day, we need this skill to make sure that we can unlock our full potential, chase our dreams, retire comfortably, have safety and security like that is really critical to your well being. So investing is not an optional thing. I think every woman needs to learn it. And we need to have more people providing digestible, relatable, no judgement, education. And that's what I'm trying to do.


    Lesley Logan 5:34  

    I really love that because I also love you said, you don't have to be out of debt. I think that's really important. A lot of women I talked to like, I'm almost out of debt. I don't want to, like they're not investing in their business yet because they want to be out of debt first. And I'm like, for just so I what I have learned is that they really care if you are in debt, like no one's giving you money if you can't show that you manage debt, so like, there's this like, really weird thing that we're supposed to be out of debt, when really the way your credit score works is based on how you manage debt, which is this really backed up weird thing in the US, if you're my European listeners, you're like what I just don't know what you're talking about. But can you, also I'm impressed that you were investing any money in your 20s. I was, like, desperately trying to pay rent, and my student loans up. So I feel like I, I feel like I was really late to the game and started like a 401k. I was like, at least I'm doing this I'm like at least I'm doing this. And then I talked to someone who's like you can do an IRA. And I'm like, okay, I don't know what that means. But here you go. So I feel like I am one of those people who's gonna learn a lot today because I don't even know that I'm investing as well as I could be and I definitely wish I was. So what are some of your common myths, you hear that we should just be like busting right now off the top of the show?


    Tess Waresmith 6:44  

    Well, the one common myth that you mentioned is that it's too late or you feel like you're late. And I think regardless of what age we start at, and this is like the most common belief, I feel, when it comes to investing that I talk to every woman about regardless of whether they're 25 or 50 is that they're behind and that they're too late to catch up and they've already like made some mistakes that are too hard to come back from, and that is a huge myth. Because one, if you're having these conversations and you're focusing on your money in your 20s, 30s or 40s, even if you haven't done anything yet, if you're starting to take action, you still have time to make a massive difference in what the rest of your life looks. So I think that's a huge mistake is that people feel like they're so far behind that they become paralyzed. And they're like, well, it doesn't really matter now, because I'm already so far behind, when in reality, you're not as far behind as you think I guarantee that if you're sitting there listening to this thinking, like I'm really behind, I bet you're not as far as you think, first of all, and second of all, every year, month that you wait to take control of your money, you are jeopardizing your financial future. So in the same breath, you're not too late. But the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be to reach your financial goals. And I have never worked with a woman that said, oh, man, I really like wish I waited to start investing until I understood every piece of this, like no one's ever said that. So that's the first one. The second one, I say, I'll come back to the debt one, because I think that's pretty important. A lot of people feel like they have to pay off all their debt, even their mortgages or their student loans. And while yes, you do want to pay off high-interest debt, and I would say that's, you know, debt over seven-ish percent, like that's the kind of debt you want to pay off quickly, because you're just going to be hemorrhaging any wins you have in the stock market, if you're paying down if you're still paying interest on high interest debt. But if you have just student loans under 7%, if you have a mortgage under 7%, the average return in the stock market is roughly 10%. You subtract for inflation 8%. So, in many cases, when I work with people that are paying extra money towards their student loans or extra money to their mortgages, and they're paying down loans that have relatively low interest rates, if they stopped doing that and started investing that money instead, they would have the ability to build more wealth compared to the money they would save by paying down their mortgage or their loan faster. So it's important to understand the basic math of that. And so 7% is a good percentage to start evaluating and to really be thinking about how you're spending your money because at that point, if you're paying the minimums on your loans, you might actually be doing better and build faster wealth if you are investing. The other thing I'll comment on because I know you have a lot of entrepreneurs listening to this is there is something to be said also for investing in your business. If you are paying down debt and you don't have high-interest debt, again, if you have high-interest credit card debt that's something you got to get rid of because that's just going to become a deeper, deeper hole. So that's something that you got to focus on first before you start investing. But when it comes to your business, if you have lower-interest debt you absolutely should be finding ways to invest in your business provided that you're thinking through the ROI because that's eventually going to help you create more money to invest. And at the end of the day, your income does matter when it comes to investing because that's going to impact how much you can invest and how much your money compounds. So those are a couple of myths. And then I mean, there are so many, which is why this is such a, this is such a meaty topic and why I love talking about investing, because I love busting these myths but the last one I will say is that good investing strategies are complex. And that is a huge, huge myth, because actually, the best investors are people that create really, really simple investment portfolios. And I teach people how to do this all the time, in a matter of like hours, it doesn't take years, it doesn't take an economics Ph.D. or a series six or finance degrees, you just need a little bit of time and an open mind. And you can learn how to create very, very simple investment portfolios that you buy and hold. You don't have to learn how to pick stocks, you don't have to learn how to time the market. And in fact, people that do those things end up getting much, much lower returns. So investing is one of the few things in life, like actually, the less you work at it, if you set up something simple, the better your returns can be. So those are just some investing myths, but we could go on forever. 


    Lesley Logan 11:13  

    Oh my gosh, okay, you said a lot of words that I think, I know portfolio, like the series, all those things. I'm like, I feel like my tax accountant is wanting to know if I have anything like that. I felt like I want to know all these things. But I do love that you're like you can learn it in a few hours. And also, I read The Psychology of Money a couple of years ago, 


    Tess Waresmith 11:32  

    Great book. 


    Lesley Logan 11:33  

    It's such a good book, it's really worth reading because it explains the type of emotions that some people need to get, to gain a ton of wealth are different than the type of emotions you need to keep wealth, which is a whole interesting phenomenon. But he was talking about the people who do those, like short sells and all that stuff and how it's actually quite stressful. And it's almost more of an addiction of like the dopamine rush than if they just let it sit there. It's fascinating. Okay, so let's go back a little bit, though, you mentioned like you learned all the hard ways. And I think a lot of my listeners, including, like I grew up hearing we're just not good with money and so I just kind of have that story. And one of the things that I love about the show is that like, I feel like you can change your story with just a mantra, you feel like, I know, people are crazy but I really do think that we can act as if, what was it like for you to go from making mistakes? What did you have to do that you have to tell yourself to kind of become the person who is like sitting here, you're so knowledgeable, I can't even imagine you didn't know how to invest money at a time. So like how did you bridge that gap? 


    Tess Waresmith 12:38  

    Yeah, so I'll tell you a little bit about the story of what happened and how and why that was a catalyst for me bridging the gap. So I have to say that I have to owe some of this to the universe, setting me off in the right direction and kicking me down so far that I was so pissed that I had to learn. But basically what happened was, in my mid-20s, I was very privileged to get a full athletic scholarship to college. So I will say that, you know, a lot of my financial success, I got to start from a place most people don't, most people have some kind of debt. So I was able to get my first job, which was actually as an aerial acrobat on a cruise ship. And I promise this is relevant to money in a moment. And so that job was really interesting, because I worked on a cruise ship, and everything was paid for. So my food was paid for, accommodations, I didn't ever, I didn't have any of these things. So I was able to save a lot of money and I grew up with a huge fear of money because I grew up being told like we don't have enough money for that, you have to be careful about that, over and over and over. So money was always a scarce, fearful thing for me. So that's why to answer your question about investing in your 20s, I knew enough to know that I should be doing that because I was afraid enough of not having enough money that I knew that that was a thing I needed to do. But I didn't know how to do it. And so once I saved some money working on the cruise ship, I ended up trying to read some books about investing. They were really overcomplicated. And so very quickly, I was like, you know what, of course I'm not smart enough to do this myself I'm gonna hire a financial advisor to do it for me. And this was somebody I trusted somebody I grew up with that was a few years older than me. And the long story short is that I gave that person my money. And over a few years time I started realizing that my returns weren't that good. I started looking at what I was invested in and saw that some stuff looked very similar. And what I ended up discovering is that they'd sold me financial products that were better suited for people in their 50s, that there were duplicate investments in my accounts that were basically stacking fees and that the fees that I was paying her were astronomical that were costing me thousands of dollars a year and I didn't even realize it because it's built in to the way that you invest with some financial advisors. What they do is they charge what's called AUM, assets under management, which basically means they take a percentage of the money you're investing with them, regardless of what happens in the stock market. And so at that point, I had started investing all my money from the cruise ship. And years later realized that I was hemorrhaging money in fees. But it's not easy to see that because it doesn't come up in the statement, it doesn't really, it's not easy to see if you're working with a financial advisor, you're listening to this, you're like, am I paying fees like don't feel bad, no shame, because this information is so hard to find. And the industry is built in such a way where it doesn't make it easy to understand, which is good for them. Because they want you to feel like it's complicated so you don't learn how to do it yourself and you pay someone else to do it. That's part of the whole game. So and I will say, by the way, not all financial advisors are crooks, there's some great ones out there. But either way, you still need to learn the basics, because otherwise, what happened to me could happen to you. So after all of that happened and I went in a shame spiral, and I was super, super upset. I went back to my core values. And something I did years ago, was create a list of core values of values that I wanted to live by. And one of them was everything is figureoutable. And I realized and Marie Forleo says, I can't steal, I can't I have to give her full credit for that one. But I love that one. Because it's really true, right? Especially with the internet, resources, good people that want to help you, there's always a way to figure out something. So I was sitting there going like there has to be a way for me to invest without spending thousands of dollars to pay somebody else to get me average returns. And so I did all this research, and I talked to millionaires. That's a key one, I talked to people that were already doing it. And I asked him like, how do you invest? And a lot of them are like, Oh, it's really simple. I just invest in like these funds that hold a bunch of stocks and I leave it alone. And I'm like, that, that's it? That's, that's the whole thing? And I kept hearing the same message. And then I read books, and I took courses. And I looked at data. And then what I realized, after all this research, and I kept trying to prove myself wrong, I'm like, there's no way it can be this straightforward. And it is. Because at the end of the day, the stock market is too complex to try to time there's no crystal ball of what's going to happen. So the best strategies are really to oversimplify this, to buy a bunch of it, put your eggs in a bunch of different baskets and buy and hold. And there's easy ways to do that. There's easy investments you can buy that hold hundreds or thousands of stocks at once, you don't have to stock pick and you hold them over time. And that's pretty much it. Like obviously, there's a little more detail to get started. But that's the strategy. It's buying and holding funds over a long period of time. So that's really it. 


    Lesley Logan 17:28  

    That's what I learned in that book that we were talking about earlier. He's like, if you can just like, let it live there, what it has proven is if you let it live there for 10, 15, 20 years, everything eventually, like even if it goes up and down, up and down, it always sort of ends up.


    Tess Waresmith 17:42  

    Exactly. No, it's that, you nailed it, right? Like it's not more complicated than that. So that's really what happened. So I think being so committed to the idea that there has to be a way to figure it out, led me to the right information. And now I'm just so jazzed to share it with people. And the hardest part is not teaching people how to invest, it's getting them to believe that they can do it and it's not going to be that hard, and it's not going to be as complicated as they think. But that's the biggest hurdle for me as an educator.


    Lesley Logan 18:09  

    You know, you're 100%, right? Because I'm sitting here and you're like saying how simple it is, I'm like, oh my gosh, like maybe I should be moving that $500 investment into this account. And I should be doing it over here. And then next notice, do I even know how to do that? Do I have the time? I'm not sure. Maybe it's not safe to move it? Maybe I should just leave it because just that like, I've already talked myself in and out of it. So I do, I do agree like it's getting us to believe it's possible, and that we should be part of it. And I find like, you know, when I was in a mastermind and we brought someone in who was talking about wealth, and it was a husband and wife and they're talking about how they built wealth, how they invest in their wealth, how simple it is, like she, the wife even creates a group or they bring people in and talk about what you can invest in. And then you're like, one of these special people who can be one of the first people to invest and I was like, oh, I want to be in that group. And one of the girls sitting next to me, she's like, oh, I don't deal with any of this. I just let my husband do it. And I was like, what if your husband dies? What if he loses his job? What if like, he leaves you for someone younger? Like I just, like my head went like, you know what I mean? So I said, I'm feeling very hypocritical because I'm not actually doing a lot of investment myself. But like, I, if you're listening to this, and you're like, oh, my partner takes care of it, there's just this like fear inside my body for you. You do need to be part of that conversation. You do need to know and I find like, I coach a lot of women, and we have several of them that their husbands have said hey, I'm gonna end this marriage and they're having to start from scratch and everything and I'm like, and they, there just isn't enough awareness around that financial stuff that I'm like, ah, that's, that is like, I don't ever want to end up in that space either. 


    Tess Waresmith 19:56  

    Lesley, I don't even know if we're on each other's email list, but I literally wrote an email today that said, when she told me my husband when my husband discouraged her to start investing, and I wrote an email literally today went out this morning, about how many conversations I've had with women over the last few weeks that are around this theme of saying, like, either their partners, like I don't need to learn that we have an advisor, or oh, you don't need to learn that I know how to do it. And by the way, like no shade, but a lot of times, men have pressure to know this stuff, but they might not actually know as much as you think. So no one should ever discourage you from learning this stuff for yourself because exactly what you said, Lesley, the majority of women I work with, and I'm super sad to say this are women that are going through some kind of separation or trauma or their husband is sick, and that's when, you know, shit hits the fan, and they're like, oh, crap, now I have to learn this, and my heart breaks for them because the last thing I want for any woman is to on top of the grief and depression, whatever, like other challenge in life, things they're going through, is then having to spend time figuring out how to manage their money and investments. So I'm so glad you brought this up because it is a real problem. I hear it a lot. And even from women that are motivated to learn, well, they'll be discouraged and, you know, the uncomfortable thing that I don't want to say is, to me, it feels like either an unconscious or some subconscious form of control. And I hate that. So you know, if you have any desire to learn, one, you're totally capable of it. And it's not as hard as you think. And I'll say that, and I will, I will do everything I can to prove it to you that that is true. But also, that's a massive red flag. And if anything, if you are partnered and your partner knows more than you, if you learn more together, you can make more intelligent financial decisions, you can reach your goals faster together, it'll be more fun. There's so many benefits of learning. And I end up working with a lot of couples. My coaching is I do focus on women because I want to create safe spaces for women to feel comfortable talking about money. But a lot of times husbands will join, I'll ask the group is it okay if we have somebody join and those couples love it because then they're on the same page, they're speaking the same language, it's a really powerful thing to do with your partner, to really get a handle on what your financial goals are, and learn together, it can change everything.


    Lesley Logan 22:21  

    Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's really true, like one of my dear friends, she actually decided to leave in her partnership and it's because of the investments she made that she could afford to make those decisions, too. So she wasn't stuck in a relationship that wasn't serving her or him, you know, so I think like, the more educated you can be, and I love that you said like, if you're a couple, I'm not saying everyone's gonna end their marriage, guys, I fully believe them. We have mine forever and ever. Not always. But also, like, it's true, it can be more fun, and you can grow it together. And there can be even more that you give. And I find like so many people want to give their children everything that they didn't have. And there's a lot of extra parenting and (inaudible) that's going on there but if you can actually, like have more fun building wealth, and you can pass it off to your children, that's even, that's a big, that's huge.


    Tess Waresmith 23:08  

    It's massive.


    Lesley Logan 23:09  

    Oh my gosh, I like so look at my friend's wedding. Oh, my God, you do have? Can you like throw a girl a bone? You know, but like, so we, one of the things, one of my biggest goals was like buying this house, because there's a couple things that I wanted to invest in. I had some money that I could invest, but I had, they're like, you have to be a homeowner. And I was like, oh, another obstacle, I just want to invest in this thing. But now we're homeowners officially. So now I'm like, okay, I can belong to the big girls club over here.


    Tess Waresmith 23:39  

    Yeah, yeah. And I think the point about learning so that you can teach your kids or even your friends' kids, I you know, I don't have kids yet. But I just yesterday, there's a lot of good things it's been a good week of money wins. But yesterday, I helped a good friend of mine open a 529, which is an investing account that you can open for your kids that helps you save and invest money for college. And what's cool about it now is that the rules have changed. Even if you don't if your kid doesn't use that money for college, you can actually roll it over to a retirement account for them to get a jumpstart. So that's super cool tool. It's called a 529. I'm happy to share a link of where you can learn a little bit more about that. 


    Lesley Logan 24:19  

    That's cool. That's so fun. That's really awesome, I have nieces and nephews. I'm like, hold on. Well, I need to send them because like, I love that also, they don't have to go to school because like to get it like you could put it into a retirement account and stuff like what a, because also we've learned, like, do you need a college degree anymore and we don't know.


    Tess Waresmith 24:38  

    And so what was cool is that I told her she was like, oh, I don't want to do that because I don't know if my daughter is gonna go to college. I said no worries. If you don't, you can up rollover up to $35,000 of this money into a Roth IRA, which is an IRA stands for Individual Retirement Account. And it's that's a great investment plan for retirement. And so we opened it, and she told her daughter about it. And within a half an hour her daughter came running back to her and was like, I have $13, can I add this to my money in that account? And that almost made me cry, because like that small, like behavior change of understanding, like, oh, instead of like spending this money, I can put it in this thing that's gonna make more money. She's eight years old, like, that's awesome that she's getting that messaging now. And that could change her life. So I always tell people too, even if you're not interested in investing, you need to be investing to help the next generation of girls, because just a very small piece of information or a small gesture. You know, I just opened that account and I put 100 bucks in it for, not, you know it took me 15 minutes but that could change the direction of her life not because of the money, but because she understands the concept of investing to make her money work for her. So that's so powerful and those are the types of tools that are so worth learning.


    Lesley Logan 25:55  

    I have so many chills, I have so many chills. Okay, so one of the things that you like you, you said, is like helping women believe in that they can invest? What are some of the things that you, that, how do you work with women? Like, is this like, do we read your email and do like a blog is or like, how do we learn more with you? Because obviously, like, I'm wanting to sign up. Like, what is? What does it look like? And like, what if someone is like, I'm so nervous, like, what's the bare, you know, like, I know, for my listeners, like some of those, like, I just want to like, be it till I see it a little bit like what's the, how do we start, like a little baby, dip our toe into it? 


    Tess Waresmith 26:35  

    Sure. So I'll give you a few options, depending on if you want to dip your toe or jump in the deep end. So if you want to dip your toe, I share a ton of free investing information on Instagram and Tiktok @wealthwithTess, one word, @wealthwithTess. So on Instagram, I share a lot of stuff, I also have a free and this is my favorite guide I've ever created. It's a free savvy investor starter pack. So it's just a guide that you can download. It's a PDF download. But in the starter pack, I have four steps that you can walk through to start to figure out how you're going to invest and to break down some of the concepts that are most confusing because the most common question I get is, where do I start? So I created this guide to help you with that. So the guide walks through four different steps, including how to figure out how much money you might want to have in retirement, how to think about your expenses to start creating a gap for investing, you know, a gap between your income and your expenses to start investing, because obviously, you need some money consistently. And then in there, I also talk about high-level, what types of accounts are out there for you and then what types of investments you can start looking into that are really simple. So that is all in that guide that's at moneyconfidentcoach.com/savvy and in the savvy investor starter pack, I also have a video of the eight common investing mistakes I see people make and I made all of them. So if you want to avoid all the mistakes I made that guide is going to be the best place to start. So both of those are totally easy ways to learn. And then from there, I host free free investing workshops all the time. So there's tons of information that you can get for free. If you follow on Instagram or download that free guide. Those are the two best places to start if you just want to dip your toe. But then the way that I work with women is mostly in a small group setting, which is my favorite way to work with women, I have a small group coaching setting that includes a online program. And what I love about the small group is that everyone realizes they're all in the same boat, that everyone feels behind, that everyone feels overwhelmed by the jargon, and it creates just this awesome vibe of learning and a safe space. And it's awesome. And so that program goes for about a month. And by the end, you know the basics of how to open your own accounts and how to choose investments. It doesn't take long, it doesn't take months or years. We're talking one month, the program right now is four weeks long. And by the end, women are part of a great group, and they know how to choose their own investments. So it's pretty cool. And yeah, I'm just super, I feel super grateful to be doing this work because it's awesome to be able to make an impact in that short amount of time. 


    Lesley Logan 29:16  

    Yeah, that's huge. Okay. So I have one more question before we do the Be It Action Items and it's more a little selfish, but also like just something that's like still rolling in my head I felt I felt like maybe some of our listeners the same way. So I have a Roth IRA. I have it with some person I met, and it just is money that goes out the 18th every month. And I'm one of those people who like doesn't really log into my statement that often because I don't know. It just feels a little depressing. Sometimes. It's like, you want to see it grow faster than it is. A. you said like there's a certain fee that you were getting that you weren't aware of how do I find out if this person is actually like the best for me and if I figure out like if I do an interview with them. I don't know if that's a thing. And if they're not like, do I keep the Roth IRA with them? Do I stop and put the money on that? Like, what do you think is the best for people who are like, I'm afraid that the person who's doing my thing is not as good as I want them to be?


    Tess Waresmith 30:12  

    Yeah, so there's two directions, you can go here. But the first direction I would say, is and, unfortunately, this takes a little bit of time, but not a lot of time, is to get a basic education yourself, like either work with somebody like me, that's going to teach you the basics of investing so you can actually understand how they're investing your money, that's the best route to go. Because then you can really vet if they are actually, once you understand how the stock market works, what the basic returns are, and simple ways to invest that you could do on your own, then you can evaluate that against what they are doing for you. But there's a few things I would want to know right away, you know, regard if you don't have time to take that route, for whatever reason, what I would say is things you want to understand are number one, what is the fee, so what is the percentage, they're charging you assets under management. So most financial advisors work on this basis. And so whatever you're investing, they're taking out a fee. 1% is pretty standard and 1% sounds innocuous, but over time, 1% can be thousands and thousands of dollars. So for example, I just ran this math, and I'll try not to try not, to exploit everyone's brain here with math, but just to like hammer this home about how small fees can make such an impact. The basic tenets of investing are you invest, your money grows and then that larger amount compounds, and it's that snowball effect, right, that's the goal of investing is to you know, create the snowball effect with your money growing. Unfortunately, fees, do the exact same thing. So I did the math for someone the other day they had about, I think they had about 50,000 in their investing account. And they were maxing out there Roth every year at 6500, the max for to invest in a Roth IRA now is 7000. But the time we were talking it was 6500. And so we did the math, if they did that for 30 years, if they just maxed out their Roth with this 1% fee, they would end up paying the advisor $250,000 in fees over the lifetime of 30 years. 250,000 is worth a lot of money. It's a lot. So that's the first thing I would want to know is what the percentage fee is. And when they say 1% or more, that is a lot that is going to add up over time. So that's the first thing. I would also want to know if there's a platform fee. So sometimes there's another fee for using whatever platform they're investing in, I would also want to understand what type of investments they're in. So most people have heard of mutual funds. Mutual funds are, simply put, are an investment that holds a bunch of stocks. So instead of buying just Apple, you're buying Apple and Microsoft and Uber and Tesla and all these big companies in one fund. So all of those funds have fees and it's important to understand the basic fees of what those investments are. So you could ask your advisor, I want to know what your fee is, if there's a platform fee and I also want to know what the fees are for my investments. And to give you a benchmark, you can get a lot of wonderful, easy investments funds that hold, for example, the entire stock market, like you can buy a mutual fund that holds every single stock in the entire stock market. And you could just like leave it alone, that's a way to invest. That's not a bad strategy. So those funds, those have fees of like, point, 0.2%, whereas a lot of the funds I see with people that work with financial advisors can be close to a percent. So if you think about (inaudible).


    Lesley Logan 33:46  

    So my little, my little $500, my 7,000 a year is being like compounded. So it's a point where I might not be getting any money. 


    Tess Waresmith 33:57  

    I mean, no, you'll, you'll definitely get some money, but your returns will be significantly impacted. So then if you're thinking, okay, well, shoot, like, I want to dive into that, but I don't know, I'm nervous about learning myself. There are a lot of other wonderful tools to invest. There are advisors that charge flat fees. So it's a one-time fee or yearly fee that's flat amount. So that's very transparent. There are robo-advisors, which are investment tools where you can put in your information and it'll automatically choose a very simple, low-fee portfolio for you. That's great. Those are companies like Ellevest does that, that's an awesome like badass women's company that helps people create their own, like automated portfolios for them. So you don't need to know anything about investing. You can just open it, they charge you like a quarter of the fees of a financial advisor. You put in your info, your birthday, your goals, and they pick a very simple low-fee portfolio for you. That's a great option. That's called a robo-advisor. And then the other option is to learn how to do it yourself and so where I fit in this ecosystem is to help you make that decision. Like, that's why I teach people the basics of how the stock market works, what your options are, and how your money can grow in simple ways, because then once you understand that, most of the time, people want to either invest on their own, or, you know, they choose a robo-advisor, that's lower fee, and they call it a day. And the type of investing that I'm talking about, which is, you know, buying and holding funds for a long period of time, you're not having to go in there and check like Lesley, you said, you don't really want to go in there, that's actually good. For most people, that's the problem is they go in and they check in and they move things around, like the type of investing that's the best is when you buy some stuff, and you hold it for a long time and you like forget it's there. Like, that's usually the best strategy.


    Lesley Logan 35:48  

    The natural way of doing it is gonna be the best way I'm in. 


    Tess Waresmith 35:50  

    Yeah, totally. 


    Lesley Logan 35:52  

    You are awesome. Thank you so much for all this, we're gonna put all those links in the show notes, including your guide. But before I let you go, you've given us so, so many great things. I could talk to you for a couple more hours, but bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps we can take to be it till we see it. What do you have for us?


    Tess Waresmith 36:11  

    So the first thing that I really want to make sure that everyone does is journal on your relationship with money. So before we even get into investing and the tactical stuff, if you're sitting here being like, this all sounds great, Lesley and Tess, but I don't feel like I can do that. The first thing I want you to do is think about your relationship with money. And you can ask yourself questions like how do I feel when I transact money? Do I feel like there's a limit on how much money I can make? Do I feel like there is an opportunity for me to make more money or not, you know, those kinds of questions are really important. Do I think I'm capable of learning how to invest? If the answer is no, shoot me a DM and I want to talk to you because you're absolutely capable of it. But that is honestly the most important thing that I want you to do is to think about your relationship with money. And if somebody has told you some things about money, or you believe it or you're sitting there saying I don't think I'm good with money, are you not good with money? Or have you just not learned anything about money yet? Because those are two very different things.


    Lesley Logan 37:13  

    I love this extra juice. You all have to do it because I think it was at the end of the last year Brad and I we were doing a thing and the guy was like your homework today is to write a letter to money and maybe an apology letter maybe it's hey longtime friend, it's been a while, maybe, maybe you're angry and you never told money how angry you are, like you got and I wrote this letter it was the craziest thing that came out of my like head about money and there was like things I was mad about but then there's things I was like sorry about it was a whole thing. And it truly was like a load off. And I didn't think I had a bad, like I love money, like I do. There's a money rampage I listen to, Abraham Hicks, you guys, like every day, like I, it's my favorite. Five minutes on like getting my money mindset, right. But it was really interesting how like, I like push it away. (inaudible) Like it's not like it's like gets to be my best friend at lunch. And so it's I love this action. And I'm so excited for you all to do it. And you have to tell Tess and I how it goes because we want to know. So share this episode, y'all. I'm really, this is really important. If we could all if every listener shared this with a female friend, can you imagine like the power that the change that would have would have on just the family members of the women around not alone the domino effect will have in this country and around the world because I do think that there has been a lot of generations of like, ladies don't have to learn about money. And it is it is a problem. It's why we have a wage gap. It's why we have wealth gaps. And it's and if we can actually change that then we don't need to lean on people who know more than us. And air quotes we can actually like make decisions for ourselves and we can go after things we've always wanted to. So Tess, thank you for opening our eyes. We're gonna talk to you again, I'm sure because I'm obsessed already. And until next time, everyone, Be It Till You See It.


    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 



    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 39:49  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 39:54  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 39:58  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 40:05  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


    Brad Crowell 40:09  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



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    39m - Apr 9, 2024
  • 351. Why Embrace Spontaneity In Asking For Help

    From fitness milestones to being a best-selling author, this episode is dedicated for you to acknowledge asymmetries and focus on your capabilities. Learn about the importance of asking for help and continue to strive and take up the challenge as Lesley shares her listener's wins in today’s FYF episode. 



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Why you should celebrate the movement in practice while building connections.
    • The importance of taking up the challenge despite initial difficulties.
    • Why you should recognize the need to ask for help. 


    Episode References/Links:

    • Mentions, Lisa MacDonald, an agency member
    • Mentions, Joanne Sutton, an agency member
    • Mentions, Olivia Walton, an agency member

     

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

     

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    Episode Transcript:

    Brad Crowell 0:00  

    It's Fuck Yeah Friday.

     


    Brad Crowell 0:01  

    Fuck yeah.

      


    Lesley Logan 0:02  

    Get ready for some wins. 


    Lesley Logan 0:05  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

     


    Lesley Logan 0:47  

    Hi, Be It babe. Happy Friday. Happy FYF Fuck Yeah Friday because it's a day to celebrate wins. I mean, you should celebrate them every day. But I know you. I am you. For recovering perfectionist and overachiever. And I get it, so hard. So alright, let's share your wins first. That's how this goes. If you're new to the pod Hi, Lesley here. Tuesdays are our interviews, Thursdays are all the recaps. It's really fun. You can hear Brad and I share our favorite takeaways, which I think is really cool. Because it's another way to like integrate what you are learning. And by the way, you want to integrate what you're learning, so that you don't just like keep getting more and more information that will overwhelm you. And then you know, and then today we celebrate wins. And I always celebrate the wins you send in. And then I celebrate a win of mine. And we get to practice celebrating like the little things. It's the little things sometimes. Sometimes, it's the big things too, but hopefully you're not just waiting till they're big to do it. So the first one is from Lisa MacDonald. She is an eLevate grad, she's my mentorship. She has been an agency member for years. And she said I started my day with the crab special love, love, love. First of all, I was so excited when I saw the title for today's class because I love doing the crap. But what I love even more were the connections that we worked on building up to the exercise, especially love the elbows on my knees for rolling like a ball. Hello, shoulders taking over. So we're billing, you're the best Lesley Logan. I'm doing this one again and again. So Lisa MacDonald was talking about the OPC workout for that week. And I just really love when people celebrate a win in their movement practice. Because it's so easy for us to focus on the exercise we can't do. And just so you all know like Lisa's been practicing Pilates for years and years and years. And if you are like what is that even exercise mean? That's okay. It's one of the more advanced ones that a lot of people don't know and can wait a while to know what that is. And also like, just because you've been practicing it doesn't mean comes easy for her. Like we all have our asymmetries. We all have the things we're really great at. So way to go, Lisa. That's so fun to read. 


    Lesley Logan 2:39  

    I got another one for you. This one is from Joanne Sutton. She is an agency member for several years from Australia. It's officially been confirmed. I'm a bestselling author. Yes, Joanne. Yes, you are bestselling author. I'm so excited for you, you guys. It's our third agency member to be a bestselling author. And I'm just so freakin stoked. I'm just really, really, really proud of you. I'm gonna do one more win because I'm just in a winning mood. This one's from Olivia Walton. And she is an eLevate grad. I actually just had her here at the house for the eLevate reunion. That's my mentorship for teachers. And she also has a win about OPC. It's that I just took the OPC 50-minute Cadillac workout and did finally go for the first time since I learned it and eLevate, the cadi weekend, when I was not taking the best care of my back injury. And today it felt so great and so ugly and I'm so happy I just let myself do ugly Pilates a big win for me. And I did monkey and actually bent my elbows with my arms on my back. I can't wait to see some of you in real life soon. So obviously this one was before the eLevate retreat, but like it's just going back to what I was saying with Lisa like it's so cool to let yourself be in process everyone you don't have a Pilates instructor to be in process. You can be a regular human who is just trying to learn things. So congratulations. And there's a follow-up to this win and I'm going to add it in here because we actually had the best time at our eLevate retreat. It was so much fun. And Olivia was on my house probably longer than she should have been. And so her win is I made it to my flight on time after wanting to soak up every single second I could on the last day of the eLevate alumni retreat. My heart is so full. I love all of you even the ones I haven't squeezed yet. Ah, Olivia, Joanne, Lisa, thank you so much for sending these wins in because you just helped a ton of people understand that you don't have to have these many wins, like and I like I finally like hit all 17 goals perfectly like you don't ever have to do that you actually can celebrate these goals when they're in process. We've actually celebrated some of Joanne's wins along the way as she like turned in her edits and things like that. So like it's just really really, really cool. Celebrate big and small and even that what seems to be so menial like making a flight on time. That's a win. That is a win. 


    Lesley Logan 4:50  

    All right, my win. So it's been a little bit but I am excited to announce that my win is I found an assistant. Found an amazing assistant and I, Brad and I have been looking for months for an assistant, I was really actually thinking I could like with the team and I could just like figure it out on our own. We probably didn't need it. Like, we have a huge team already do we really need it? And I was doing this thing where I was like talking myself out of something that like, no, like ever, all of us need help and struggle to find, help tried finding different people. They weren't returning our calls, things like that. And I happened to find this person because asked for help. So maybe the bigger win is ask for help. I asked for help. I literally went to social media and said hey, guys, I need an assistant. Here's what I need. Here are the requirements. And I'm just so excited because of who I got. So yay for my assistant. But the win is like I asked for help in a unique place and stopped going, I still can't find one. But I guess I'll just like keep plugging along in a way that's not supporting me. So that is my win. Finding someone to help support me in the process. 


    Lesley Logan 6:00  

    Okay, now, for your mantra for the weekend. The mantra is, I leave room in my life for spontaneity. I leave room in my life for spontaneity. I love that one so much. I leave room in my life for spontaneity. Maybe your win this week is a spontaneity that you left room in your life for. Tell the Be It pod if you did. All right, amazing people. You're awesome. Thank you so much for being a listener to the Be It Pod. You truly make this pod so worth doing. And I can't wait for you to hear us on the next episode Until then, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 6:35  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.  


    Lesley Logan 7:03  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.


    Brad Crowell 7:18  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 7:23  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.


    Brad Crowell 7:27  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.


    Lesley Logan 7:34  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.


    Brad Crowell 7:38  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.



    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donations

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    7m - Apr 5, 2024
  • 350. Advice for Moving Forward After Betrayal

    Betrayal leaves deep wounds, but it also opens the door to profound personal transformation. In this powerful episode, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell recap Dr. Debi Silber’s episode, discussing the intentional nature of betrayal, its impact on our lives, and the deliberate steps needed to heal. Listeners will find solace, understanding, and strategies for setting better boundaries and to prevent repeated betrayals.



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • Addressing concerns about insufficient teacher training and alternative learning paths.
    • The personal impact of betrayal and its distinct nature from other traumas.
    • How betrayal can be a catalyst for personal growth and transformation.
    • Overview of the process and stages involved in recovering from betrayal.
    • The importance of establishing strong boundaries to prevent future betrayals.


    Episode References/Links:

     

     

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

     

    DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper’s Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox

     

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    FREE Ditching Busy Webinar


     

    Resources:

     

    Follow Us on Social Media:

     

     

    Episode Transcript:

    Lesley Logan 0:00  

    She said time heals all wounds but that does not apply to betrayal. And she said healing needs to be deliberate and intentional. Like you actually have to be deliberate and intentional with your healing. 


    Lesley Logan 0:11  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

      


    Lesley Logan 0:49  

    Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the transformative convo I had with Dr. Debi Silber in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to the interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. Holy freaking moly. We have never had a topic on betrayal. Nope. First time and not only do we will talk about betrayal, but she is the leading doctor on betrayal. She has so much scientific information you guys if you


    Brad Crowell 0:57  

    TED talks, education from stage, workshops. She's an institute. 


    Lesley Logan 1:23  

    If anyone in your life is like act like reacting to being betrayed in their life and other things that they're doing and they keep going well, I had this extra do this thing. Holy fricking moly, send them the episode. It was so informative, so good. And it's like, it's I mean, we'll get we'll get into it in a second. Anyways, today is April 4th, and it's School Librarian Day. Okay. Of course we're gonna highlight this day because we're all about the books on this podcast. So about this day, the day is observed to recognize the professionals who keep school libraries well-stocked in the books in perfect order. School librarians, I'm just gonna say, also librarians, if you're a public school public librarian this is you too, your school librarians spend long hours keeping the library organized, they also, they're also likely to be the first people to help students find the resources they need to learn. Pause. Yes, so many librarians I've heard on the news in the last year are the only safe person to suggest books to a lot of people. Anyways, they also encourage students pursue reading outside of academic text. School librarians are also responsible for creating an environment where students are motivated to learn. Their work is truly an accomplishment. With that said, if you didn't already know this, in 2024 OPC is supporting the nonprofit organization the Wheat Penny press and their program Little Readers Big Change along with Be It podcast, Rebekah Borucki, who runs it with every dollar spent so all you OPC members out there just know that you are part of providing free and low-cost books programming and funding for the creative arts to our most vulnerable communities and their most talented members. Thank you for being an OPC member and thank you for supporting reading. And we had Danny Brassel on who talked about like how he helps kids want to read and it's about giving them books that they actually want to read.


    Brad Crowell 3:06  

    That was a fun episode. 


    Lesley Logan 3:07  

    I know. With Nick Hutchison coming up soon it's gonna be about how The Rise of the Reader. 


    Brad Crowell 3:13  

    Jake Kelfer. 


    Lesley Logan 3:13  

    Well, Jake Kelfer is for the writers. 


    Brad Crowell 3:15  

    Yeah, but, books.


    Lesley Logan 3:16  

    And then, Nick is actually you're gonna learn how to retain what you're reading. Danny Brassel helps you get your kids reading and Rebekah Borucki who was recently a guest holy freaking moly, she is making sure that what we're reading is like making change. So. 


    Brad Crowell 3:31  

    Pretty rad.


    Lesley Logan 3:32  

    You guys. 


    Brad Crowell 3:32  

    Well, anyway, a sincere heartfelt thank you to all the OPC members out there. We love being able to donate to different causes. And we change, each year we pick a new cause and we get to donate throughout the year. And so we're really fired up to be supporting Little Readers Big Change along with you.


    Lesley Logan 3:54  

    Along with you. And you know, like support your local library. Brad's cousin is a librarian and she is like, all about like, getting me on Libby getting me to go get my library card and all that stuff. So like, support the libraries, they're really amazing and it's just, you know, look, you don't need to scroll so much. So anyway, okay. 


    Brad Crowell 4:14  

    Read a book. 


    Lesley Logan 4:15  

    This afternoon. So if you happen to listen to this in the morning, when it drops, you can still sign up for the Studio Growth Accelerator which is for Pilates teachers and studio owners who are ready to make some changes in their business and who want to learn and also work on your business. So you're going to get information and integrate it. 


    Brad Crowell 4:32  

    We're going to be running through the proprietary Accel formula. A-C-C-E- L. Short for accelerator, y'all. Basically, we're going to we're going to really dig into how do you bring new clients in, how do you work with those clients to make them champions for your business so that they go out into the world and share your business with their relationships and it's going to be amazing. So if you're looking to jumpstart the growth of your studio, this is a great way to do it. Join me this afternoon there will be a three-day replay and if you missed it that's okay if you listen to this late, just DM us because you know we'll get you on the waitlist for the next time. The next one. Okay? PRfit.biz/accelerator. PRfit.biz/accelerator. 


    Lesley Logan 5:19  

    And if you listen to last week's episode you understand that spelling accelerator is two Cs, one O. 


    Brad Crowell 5:24  

    Hence the Accel... 


    Lesley Logan 5:26  

    Well excel you could spell with an E


    Brad Crowell 5:28  

    ...programs. No, no. That's excel. This is accel. A-C-C-E-L-E-R-A-T-O-R. Well.


    Lesley Logan 5:35  

    Okay. Summer Camp. Okay, so I was, the time we tell the team when we're designing summer camp I'm like think American hot summer like, get like look up. 


    Brad Crowell 5:46  

    What is it? What? Hot American Summer (inaudible).


    Lesley Logan 5:48  

    I was like, look up look at what Christopher Maloney is wearing. I want Brad to dress like that for the Zoom calls. Like I want people to have hot shorts. I want Elizabeth Banks like I 


    Brad Crowell 5:59  

    Bradley Cooper was in there. 


    Lesley Logan 6:00  

    Everybody who was in this show. (inaudible) I want, so here's the thing, the way I see summer camp for OPC is all the best parts of summer camp without the bunks, bunk beds.


    Brad Crowell 6:13  

    Without the bugs. 


    Lesley Logan 6:14  

    Without the bugs, without the travel. 


    Brad Crowell 6:16  

    Without the mean girls. 


    Lesley Logan 6:18  

    Without the mean girls or the weird people or you know the shit food. So you can wear whatever you want, you can be off camera if you want, you can actually sign up and watch it later because you'll have lifetime access to the replays. But you do want 


    Brad Crowell 6:32  

    That's a big event for us, y'all. This is not like two workshops. This is going to be like potentially like all-day events, two days in a row. 


    Lesley Logan 6:39  

    It could be like, we're looking at potentially up to 14 or 16 events in two days. 


    Brad Crowell 6:45  

    Crazy. 


    Lesley Logan 6:46  

    We've been planning this for over a year because y'all loved summer camp so much last year, we had like the best time with summer camp. And so we are actually promoting early because we want as many people to be able to do summer camp with us. I'm like I want camp counselor shirts. I want the whole thing. So OPC.me/workshops. The reason why we want you on the waitlist even though you're like, Lesley, (inaudible) later. Correct. But if you're on the waitlist, you get the second-best prices of the early bird. The people who get the best best prices are those OPC members who are helping Little Readers Big Change. So, you want to be an OPC member to get the best earlybird. Second best is the workshop waitlist. Third best is hearing from the public. And fourth best is full price.


    Brad Crowell 7:29  

    Fourth best, fourth best.


    Lesley Logan 7:31  

    Okay. OPC.me/workshops. Also, Cambodia. As you mentioned in last week's episode, Brad. Brad thinks it's sold out. It's possible that it's sold out by now because it's April 4th, but we did schedule already and pick our dates for February 2025. Holy fricking moly, it's gonna be so fun. Like I said last week, best sunrises are in the February time and it's just before the weather gets hot. So you want to go to crowsnestretreats.com, crowsnestretreats.com to snag your early bird rate for February 2025.


    Brad Crowell 8:07  

    Yeah, join us it's gonna be amazing. I am so excited.


    Lesley Logan 8:11  

    I'm so excited. Oh my gosh, our October retreat, the people who are coming on this are freaking so excited. One of our girls is coming for the second year in a row. We've, because we've made some changes and like it's so fun. And we've got some eLevate members coming. We've got some OPC members coming. We've got some people we've never met coming and it's just gonna be a freaking blast. 


    Brad Crowell 8:29  

    It's going to be amazing. 


    Lesley Logan 8:28  

    So amazing. So, crowsnestretreats.com if you are wanting to come, if you're like Lesley when are you doing a retreat somewhere else? I don't have the time. I want to go there. And you can join at my house, come to my house. I would love to do a retreat somewhere else but I'm just going to tell you right now, the amount of work that goes into putting the retreat on that is an amazing, unforgettable experience is something you I can never express I could never actually share. And so while I would love to do a retreat somewhere else, I also would love one, of the reasons we did Cambodia retreat is because I think it's really, really important to see places in the world you might never see and a lot of places where people go on retreats just feel like a like America-like. And I really enjoy so immersing myself in a culture that's so uniquely different than my own. And seeing things that like it's just takes you out of your normal routine. You're 12 hours to 15 hours ahead. So like you are just really out of your routine. It's not the same timezone as your family like, I really love to get out and just be in a, in the village like being around other people and how the world is so different there.


    Brad Crowell 9:15  

    It's a transformational experience. I mean, I truly believe that when we have the opportunity to experience cultures that are not our own. It changes our perspective in a way that allows us to be more empathetic, more kind to others, more excited for other people, because they're people too, doing life the way they do life and it's different than the way that we do life but it allows this polarization that's happening in our, you know, in American society about others, like, you know, those other people, they're bad or something. You know, it allows you to see another culture in a way that is like, whoa, totally different than how we do things. But they're fucking great people, too.


    Brad Crowell 9:35  

    Oh, yeah. I mean, it also helps you vote with others in mind. Just a thought. Okay. So go do that. Come with us. Okay. And don't forget.


    Brad Crowell 10:36  

    If you love a good challenge and you're looking for one that's a four-weeker.


    Lesley Logan 10:40  

    You want to do my challenges. Come on, guys. The reformer challenge and mat challenge are available anytime. Which, I'm telling you, this is your prompt to sign up now. At OPC.me/challenge. Just pick the challenge you want. They are, it's the first week's 10 minutes, the second week's, 20 minutes. The third week is 30 minutes. And the fourth biggest (inaudible), 40 minutes. You see how that goes. 


    Brad Crowell 11:01  

    Is that how it works? 


    Lesley Logan 11:02  

    Yeah. And so, I want you to all do it, I want you to have some fun. I want you to get it out of your head and into your body. I want you to do it imperfectly. I had someone say, Ah, this is too fast. And I said, Great. Do it slower and just skip half the exercises. It's not about being perfect, you don't have to look like me. You don't have to do it like me, I even tell you to replace what you can't do with what you can. Pilates is the thing that helps you realize like how you talk and treat yourself. You are allowed to be imperfect and to be in process. And that's what this challenge is all about. It's super fun to learn how to do habits while doing it. So, OPC.me/challenge.


    Brad Crowell 11:36  

    Yeah. And you can pick either the mat or the reformer. How about that? 


    Lesley Logan 11:39  

    How about that? 


    Brad Crowell 11:40  

    Alright. So we had an audience question. And it was from Michelle. She said hi, I'm in a teacher training program that doesn't feel like it's giving me enough information and I'd love to learn from more from you about how to teach. Is OPC your only option? 


    Lesley Logan 11:57  

    Yeah. 


    Brad Crowell 11:57  

    And I just want to say first off, I'm sorry that you're in a program that isn't meeting your needs. And clearly, as a student, if you're going what the hell I expected more. That sucks. 


    Lesley Logan 12:08  

    Yeah, so it sucks. I got this from our customer service team. And first of all, this is exactly why I wrote my book Profitable Pilates: Everything But the Exercises. And the unfortunate thing is, I don't think as many people get it before they choose a program. They get it after they choose a program. So I'll work on that. But a lot of programs have a lot to be (inaudible). And it's also just want to say to any teacher trainees listening, it is not totally your fault. In fact, it's probably not even your fault. You might be doing someone else's program. But the other thing is, is like we are an unregulated industry, the Pilates industry is unregulated, meaning that your massage therapist, do you all know, if you're living in the States, your nail technician had to take a state exam, like literally had to take a state exam for you to complain about a $15 pedicure, they had to take a state exam. And in the Pilates industry, there is an organization that has created an exam so you can be truly certified. But there's no, there's no regulation in this country. And that means people can create a training program. And there's something great about that you could just create a training program if you want one, and you need teachers. But when there's regulations, there are things like refund policies, there are ways that you can complain about the company, you can be treated with respect, they can't abuse you, things like that. So a lot of programs do have a lot (inaudible). And here's the other reason. Even if it's the best program in the world, when you're a new teacher, you cannot learn as much as you think. It's so much information. 


    Brad Crowell 13:43  

    It's overwhelm. 


    Lesley Logan 13:43  

    It is so much information, which is why everyone ends up doing a second training, which yes means you spend more money. So look, I really do feel free, Michelle, I love this question. You're not the only person to ask me something similar in the exact same week. So here's the deal. OPC is not the only option to learn from me, but OPC is the most affordable option. So I teach at least half the classes on OPC every single month. And we have themes. And if you like seeing how I connect exercises to exercises, take class with me. That's how it works. And guess what, take class with other teachers on OPC. They do the exact same, too and they do it with different body types. And that is so important. So please, please, please and $79 a month is not cheap, but it's not expensive. And if you are a teacher, it's a write-off. You can put it as your education. 


    Brad Crowell 14:30  

    Education and training, y'all.


    Lesley Logan 14:32  

    So all the more reason to not be a sole profit, that's a different story. If you are wanting more you're actually wanting to learn with me. Right? There's a from and there's a with. That would be eLevate, which is our mentorship program. As we were recording this, we just wrapped day one of weekend two. It's another investment. I'm gonna be really honest. It is another investment that's on purpose. I want you to show up for you. And I only want to have 12 people in a group. So in order to dedicate over all the five weekends and tons of calls and all the time on one-on-one calls with you, it is an investment, but it is an option. So you can go to lesleylogan.co/elevate to get on the waitlist, we're probably going to open up applications for 2025 really soon. And we're really excited we have so many people who want 2025, we'll probably open up applications. And then based on who applies and who gets accepted, we will pick the times of the days we already have the weekends picked because we have the retreat picked. But I just want to say to anyone listening to this, Pilates teacher who just feels like their first training program didn't teach them enough. Let's just let it go. Just let it go. Just pretend that they did the best they can with what they had. You did the best you could with what you had. And that and just know that I did three training programs. So there you go. 


    Brad Crowell 15:50  

    There you go.


    Lesley Logan 15:53  

    And it's because you can only take in so much. And then you have to go teach and you realize what doesn't work and you teach again, anyways.


    Brad Crowell 16:03  

    Well, Michelle, thanks for asking that. If you have a question for us. Just reach out, you can DM us on the pod on Instagram, you can hit up our Customer Support Chat. You can text us, all the things, however you want to reach out. Just ping us and you know, we might include your question on the pod. Okay, let's talk about Dr. Debi Silber. Debi Silber PhD, founder of the PBT Institute, a Pilates expertise in health and personal developments, to her innovative Post Betrayal Transformation Program. Drawing on her own experiences and extensive research, she has developed groundbreaking strategies for overcoming and fully healing from betrayal. And her groundbreaking strategies that she came up with, they went viral, like it was like a big deal. Like boom, that's what like really allowed her to shift into this role, you know, full-time. 


    Lesley Logan 16:58  

    I, when I heard about her, I was like, Oh my God. We have to talk about this because I think we talked about other things that are around relationships, family, grief, all these other things, sex, all this stuff. But betrayal, I mean, and so maybe some of those episodes, you should go back and listen to after hearing this because if you have experienced betrayal 


    Brad Crowell 17:19  

    Puts a different lens on. 


    Lesley Logan 17:20  

    You may have hated what they said. 


    Brad Crowell 17:24  

    Sure. 


    Lesley Logan 17:25  

    Anyways, Okay, my turn. 


    Brad Crowell 17:26  

    Yeah. 


    Lesley Logan 17:27  

    One of the things I love is that we actually talked about how betrayal is a different type of trauma than death, disease or natural disaster. And I think it's easy to put betrayal in kind of like those same experiences of trauma. But she says it feels intentional snd we take it personally. And our entire 


    Brad Crowell 17:44  

    Betrayal feels intentional. 


    Lesley Logan 17:45  

    Yes, it feels intentional. And sometimes it might not even be, it might be all about them. But probably is, but our entire self gets shattered and requires rebuilding. She said rejection, abandonment, belonging, confidence, worthyness and trust, these are all demolished and have to be rebuilt. So if you have been betrayed, and you just feel like you are left, like, like an open wound and just shattered, you have and it's, it's not like you just rebuild a house or you like you just start dating someone else, or you go through a grieving process and remember them on special days, like it's, can be really difficult. 


    Brad Crowell 17:46  

    Yeah, well, she talks about her five phases, which, you know, the best thing to do is to go back through, we're going to cover, we're going to cover four of the five phases a little bit later on in the pod. But, you know, she said something really interesting. She said, you don't outgrow betrayal. Like it's and she has the scientific proof to demonstrate that. 


    Lesley Logan 18:56  

    Meaning if like you were (inaudible).


    Brad Crowell 18:58  

    Time doesn't heal all.


    Lesley Logan 18:59  

    And you feel like you're betrayed by your parents. You know, just like become an adult and you're good. 


    Lesley Logan 19:04  

    Right, right. She was specifically talking about grief and time and the way that we talk about that societaly. 


    Lesley Logan 19:11  

    She especially said time, she said time heals all wounds, but does not, that does not apply to betrayal. And she said healing needs to be deliberate and intentional. Like you actually have to be deliberate and intentional with your healing.


    Brad Crowell 19:23  

    Yeah, the you know, and so what's great is that she also has a process, she goes through, like, how does that happen? How do you do that? Right, but I just found that really, really intriguing because she's not just talking about divorce, you know, she could be talking about family, parents, siblings, best friends, you know. 


    Lesley Logan 19:44  

    It could be a coworker.


    Brad Crowell 19:45  

    Yeah. She actually talked about her, your boss, and I was like, wow, that's crazy. I didn't even realize that, you know, I've been definitely betrayed at work in my old job and I was really hurt by that. You know, but I today like, you know, a couple years later, I just didn't even think about it until let's say this conversation, I was like, oh my god, that was me too. You know, so I, you know, there's a lot of context for betrayal in our lives. And she said, the amount of betrayal really depends on how close you are to the person on how close how much you allow them to weigh into your life.


    Lesley Logan 20:22  

    I agree. Because like, if you're betrayed by a coworker, that you saw Monday through Friday, a little bit each day, that is going to be hard and shattering. But if you switch jobs or get them out of your life, it's different than like a spouse or a parent because like they're, it's interesting, like I was listening to something recently, where if, like, certain breakups can feel so hard, because it's not that you're grieving the break up of the past, but also the future that you had with them. And if a betrayal is someone where there's a future that you had seen yourself going down with them, you discussed with them. That is also, that's part of the shatter that you're going through, because your future has also changed. What you thought was possible has changed. 


    Brad Crowell 21:13  

    Yeah. Yeah, that's a that's a really fascinating point as well. You know.


    Lesley Logan 21:21  

    Now that I think about it, I feel like maybe there are people in my life who thinks I betrayed them, too. So now, I just felt like a little bit of a dick. It wasn't on purpose. I hope they don't think that but anyway, you know, I'm thinking about the person like what the way I, I don't think I always say like, I don't really think I did a great job breaking up with my ex, because I never broken up with anyone. And like, I'm sure they felt very betrayed in that moment. And I didn't know like, I was just like, no, we're just breaking up because I don't think we love each other that much. And one of the ways that I wanted to make sure that they didn't feel betrayed was like, I went through with the court proceedings we had against a family member of theirs, and I pretended to still be together. But I'm sure that felt like a massive betrayal to them, you know. And so now I think back, like, no wonder they were so shattered. And, you know, when that was all over, so I think it's really interesting. Like, it's even in your kindness, or most thought-out ways of doing things you can accidentally make someone feel betrayed.


    Lesley Logan 21:22  

    That's interesting. I definitely hadn't thought of that. I mean, for me, it was the other way around.


    Lesley Logan 21:35  

    I mean, you're so perfect, Brad, you've not even betrayed anyone. 


    Brad Crowell 22:30  

    I sure have. 


    Lesley Logan 22:31  

    I mean, you did quit your own band.


    Brad Crowell 22:34  

    That's betrayal. That totally is, you know, like, we, that's true. And that's a good way, that's a good thing to point out. And like, I wasn't trying to let down who's one of the people in my life, who was one of my best friends, you know, and we still, you know, but also, like, I've had business relationships go bad. I've had, you know, just life, right? Life's life is what we like to say. But still, no matter what the circumstance is, there is a sense of betrayal that can be felt by one party or the other, whether it's as dramatic as a breakup or a divorce. Or as you know, you know, like, hey, this, this program is over, I'm out, and then the person is no longer in your life anymore. 


    Lesley Logan 23:15  

    Well, it's also interesting, okay, off-topic, but like, I'm just also thinking, like, for some of the things where I am, like thinking back, like maybe they felt very betrayed by me in that same moment, I also felt very betrayed by them. So it's so fascinating how it could be like, an equal betrayed experience.


    Brad Crowell 23:33  

    Well, yeah, I think I think that's.


    Lesley Logan 23:34  

    Now you have our back and it's (inaudible) explain that. 


    Brad Crowell 23:37  

    Well, I think it's important to point that out, right? Like, because there's a reason that you chose to leave that relationship. And it was because promises were made and not kept. And so sure, it totally makes sense that you would also feel betrayed in that moment, which then was betrayal enough to cause you to take action, right? We're gonna talk about this. I'll talk about what I really loved about her after I say this with my you know, when my ex and I got a divorce, and then you and I started dating. The story that we've put out there is that I broke up with you two times. I mean, I literally did this so it's it's not a not a fake story. But we told everyone, we shared that I broke up with you twice and. 


    Lesley Logan 24:17  

    People hate when we tell the story. They get so mad at Brad. 


    Brad Crowell 24:20  

    They get so mad at me. 


    Lesley Logan 24:21  

    They get so mad but he doesn't share.


    Brad Crowell 24:23  

    Well, I don't really share I wait till a certain point in the story to talk about why I did that for dramatic effect. But the reality of it is when you're listening to last episode and you're talking about the different stages that you know of moving through betrayal you know that Dr. Silber has created, I was almost stuck in one phase and that phase was like it was a keeping me where I was and I was operating out of fear and the fear was effectively I felt so betrayed so hurt by my ex, that I was almost unwilling to ever even put myself in the position again, to be betrayed in that manner. Right? Which is why when things started to get real, I was like, I got to get the fuck out. Like, I can't handle this, this is too much for me. I can't do it. I don't want to be hurt that way again. Right? And so I've never really thought of my divorce as betrayal. That term never came into my mind. But thinking about it now, I definitely felt betrayed.


    Lesley Logan 25:31  

    I mean, also, I think so. Because I think that like, how could you not feel betrayed? You thought you guys would be together forever. Like, there's a lot. There's, I mean, I think like, anyone who hears your story would go, Oh, my God, I felt so betrayed, which is why they stop hating you at that point in the story and start loving you.


    Brad Crowell 25:47  

    You know, on the introspective side, I wonder if I wonder how she felt betrayed. You know, and I don't actually. 


    Lesley Logan 25:55  

    Okay, so now we have to talk. Okay, Melissa, we have to have Dr. Silber back, because now I need to know if people who are betrayed if the betrayer also felt betrayed, I need the studies. 


    Brad Crowell 26:06  

    Yeah, I'm really interested in this.


    Lesley Logan 26:07  

    Melissa are you listening? Does she listen? 


    Brad Crowell 26:11  

    Well, okay, so, you know, moving on here. She also, Dr. Silber, Debi, also said she looks at betrayal as an opportunity to completely catapult yourself to a level that you never thought was even possible. And I, you know, she said something really interesting about this, that I, you know, that sounds like, you know, just, you know, polish it up and make it like, you know, look good, feel good, whatever. But she was actually the story that she gave was, she had, she was always talking to herself, like talking down to herself. And, you know, because she would get lost. So she doesn't, you know, she's not good at following directions, or whatever, and would like end up someplace and be like, fucking lost again, I'm such an idio. I can't believe it. What's wrong with me. Right? And so the story that she's telling herself is like, you're bad at this, like, how come you always mess this up? And she reframed that in a way that allowed her to completely catapult herself to a new level that she never thought was possible by shifting the way that she talked to herself and saying, that is just adorable. You did it again. You know, and think about that, like, you're still probably frustrated with yourself, but you're not berating yourself and beating yourself up.


    Lesley Logan 27:36  

    Yeah, I think that's so important. Even if you've never been betrayed, like, Guys, we talk about this all the time at OPC, you have to like how you talk to yourself matters. It really does. Forget matters. It can literally change your day from being amazing and feeling happy to like, being depressed. And feel like a failure all the time. Anyways. 


    Brad Crowell 27:57  

    Well, I mean, you know, we talk about speaking into existence and be it till you see it. You know, when you reframe the story, you're telling yourself it, it lends itself to creating an entirely new version of you, right, and then, as you have this positive self-talk and you're treating yourself with respect, you start to take a look at all the parts of you that you love, and you start to leave behind the things that no longer serve you, right, and then you start to not tolerate that negative part of yourself anymore, and it just shifts you, it changes you. And so, you know, it really, it's a really interesting, it's a really interesting idea, and I think it's worth pursuing you know? 


    Lesley Logan 28:39  

    I love it. 


    Brad Crowell 28:40  

    Alright, so finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Dr. Debi Silber? So she's talked about these stages. There are five predictable stages. And we didn't actually apparently cover the fifth stage. So I don't actually know what that is. But the first four.


    Lesley Logan 29:01  

    Another reason to have Dr. Silber back.


    Brad Crowell 29:03  

    The first four are the four table legs, right? She talks about the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual side of recovering from betrayal. And she said most people focus on the mental and the physical, or actually, I think she said the mental and the emotional. But she said there's two that people focus on most, they don't really focus on the other two sides. And so you're not creating a stable foundation. So that's stage one. And stage two is shock, trauma and D-Day or discovery day. This is the scariest of all the stages. It's a breakdown of the body, the mind the worldview, where you've gotten this news, you have a stressful response, which leads to you know, basically, chaos right? Chaos in your mind, chaos in life. Step three, then you shift into survival instinct, where you're grabbing anything or anyone to stay safe and alive. You're, you shift into practicality. We were referring to it a couple of weeks ago as fifth gear, you know as shit hits the fan, go up into fifth gear, you gotta power through figure it out, you're, you never leave time for yourself, you're always operating at this, like, where's when is the other shoe gonna drop whatever analogy you want to do. And she said, that's actually the most common place to be stuck in. And that's so that's stage three. Stage four is finding and adjusting to the new normal. Right? So now that like, life has shifted, after the chaos and like really the go, go, go of stage three, you know, can you downshift can you get back into stage into a place that isn't quite as high-strung, intense, anxiety, you know, anxiety-driven, all those kinds of things. She said, most people get stuck in stage three. So that said, going back to our Be It Actions here, she said if you are stuck in stage three, you should write these four questions down. Number one. Am I numbing or avoiding distractions? You need to call yourself on it like call yourself on the walk to the refrigerator when you're opening the door, even though you're not hungry. Call yourself on the TV, you know, because you're desperately trying to drown out other sound the sound of your own thoughts. You know, what are you doing to distract yourself? Is it video games? Is it drinking? Is it? You know, running? Is it? I don't know what it is, you know. There's this lots of different opportunities. You know, the second question, what am I trying not to see? What am I trying not to see? Again, call yourself on it, such as that health issue that needs my attention. The relationship issue that I'm avoiding. The job that I absolutely hate, you know, there's avoidance, right is probably a pretty good indicator. And you know, it's hard, it's hard to address these things you're avoiding. You know, but it's the thing you're trying not to see, right? So number three, what is life going to look like in five or 10 years? If I continue to do the actions that I'm currently doing today?


    Lesley Logan 32:09  

    That's a hard oh my god, oh.


    Brad Crowell 32:12  

    Yeah. You know, like, I think I remember, I remember, when I was going through my divorce, I decided to just start drinking. And, you know, I was drinking a lot. And I was feeling like garbage the next day when I would go into work. And after a few months, it was bad enough that I was like, Okay, I pretty much hate the way I feel i can't function. And if I keep down this road, I didn't think five or 10 years later, I literally thought like, in two more months, I'm gonna be toast like I can't do this anymore. And that, that was like a really interesting, like introspective moment that where I was interested in making a change, you know? So I think this question is helpful to be reflective on yourself, what is life gonna look like in five to 10 years? And then number four, is what can life look like, in five or 10 years, if I make a change today? So that's a really encouraging one, that's a really exciting one, it helps you see the future, see the vision of what could be for you if you're going to make a change in your life today. So, you know, when you're stuck in stage three, you know, which is again, survival mode, basically. You know, these are four questions that you can help, you know, ask yourself to help you shift through it.


    Lesley Logan 33:40  

    Yeah, I had a Be It Action Item about repeat betrayal, repeat betrayal. So this is if you like, find like you keep getting betrayed. She said you are lovable, worthy, and deserving. But she also said, for the Be It Action, you need better boundaries in place. And we talk about this a lot with the people that we coach, which is like you train people how to treat you, which are boundaries. And I just want to say, just because we say that doesn't mean people won't betray you. But I do think you will feel it differently if you had better boundaries in place. Because you will probably see it before. Like, there's just you might be able to like you won't feel like it's happening to you. So I don't know, I could be wrong, Debi, you can tell me. But the reality is.


    Brad Crowell 34:31  

    You did talk about this because you asked her like, hey, you know, if I get betrayed again, do I have to go back to stage three? 


    Lesley Logan 34:39  

    Yeah, yeah. So she said you need better boundaries in place and she's like, unless there's a benefit in learning the hard way. And she, she said as a targeted step, you can identify areas lacking boundaries or reflect on aspects of your life where boundaries are weak or nonexistent and set boundaries in place. And here's the deal guys. Guess what? When you put boundaries in place where there wasn't one, people might feel betrayed by that. You need to understand. 


    Brad Crowell 35:08  

    It's possible. 


    Lesley Logan 35:09  

    It's true like for my teachers who are listening, if you never charge for late cancels and you start charging for late cancels, people gonna be pissed. Because you didn't do it before. You have to own that you weren't doing that before. And you have to say, I understand. You don't have to apologize. I understand this change sucks. But this is business, I got to do it. If you have friends, if you have friends or family members who walk all over you, you know, and you start to like, stand up for yourself. They're gonna feel upset about that. They might even feel betrayed that you've changed. Yeah, how dare you? How dare you. Iliza Shlesinger will say on her podcast, you guys, I love her podcast if you know Iliza, I want her on the pod, like I didn't ask her because she just had a baby. But like, yes, I do. Because I mean, what a be it till you see it woman, but she is saying, she always says we have to be comfortable making people as uncomfortable as they have made us.


    Brad Crowell 36:01  

    Right. 


    Lesley Logan 36:02  

    And so. 


    Brad Crowell 36:04  

    That's fucking hard to do.


    Lesley Logan 36:08  

    She says that too. She's like, I know I tell you to do it doesn't mean I do it. But it's so here's the thing. Like, if you are feeling like people are overstepping boundaries that you haven't enforced, they're making you uncomfortable. And so you're going to enforce them which will make them feel uncomfortable. But you they've been making you feel uncomfortable, you have to be comfortable making them feel as uncomfortable as they make you. And another person I'm gonna quote is Lori Harder, which is like, we can't take away other people's rock bottom. So we cannot take away the lessons people need to learn. And sometimes it sucks to be the lesson someone has to learn. But that you are allowed to have boundaries that allow you to do this life better because I always say this, this is me quoting me. You are the only person who can do what you do the way that you do it. And if you burn out, if you are lost, if you feel stuck, the world loses your amazingness. And to have people like to have to be as amazing as I am. There are boundaries in place, y'all. There are and it's not always perfect. It's not always easy, and sometimes it offends people in ways that I didn't intend. Sometimes I have to go oh, shit, I didn't fucking think that would happen. Thank you for letting me know. Here's how it was intended. Here is how, like let's talk about it. 


    Brad Crowell 37:30  

    I'm gonna, I'm gonna quote me. Fuck yeah.


    Lesley Logan 37:33  

    Yeah. So anyways, I'm Lesley Logan. 


    Brad Crowell 37:36  

    And I'm Brad Crowell. 


    Lesley Logan 37:37  

    Clearly we're gonna have Dr. Debi Silber back. Thanks, team for already asking her. Thank you for joining us today. How are you going to use these tips in your life we want to know. We want to know. Share this with a friend who needs it. Share this with a friend who's constantly feeling betrayed that you just want to give a little shake, shake to and little tough love to. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Brad Crowell 37:58  

    Bye for now. 


    Lesley Logan 38:00  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 



    Lesley Logan 38:28  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 38:43  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 38:48  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 38:52  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 38:59  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


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    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

     



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    38m - Apr 4, 2024
  • 349. How To Rebuild And Transform Yourself After Betrayal

    In this insightful episode, Debi Silber, PhD and founder of the PBT Institute, shares her expertise on overcoming the profound effects of betrayal. Drawing from personal experiences and her groundbreaking research, Silber unveils the stages of Post Betrayal Transformation, offering hope and actionable strategies for healing. Discover the connections between betrayal, health, and personal growth, and learn how to reconstruct a stronger, more resilient self after trust is shattered.



    If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co.

     

    And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.



    In this episode you will learn about:

    • The psychological differences between betrayal and other traumas.
    • Key discoveries from Dr. Debi Silber's studies on betrayal.
    • The PBT Institute's approach to facilitating stages of overcoming betrayal.
    • Strategies for strengthening personal boundaries to prevent future betrayals.
    • The importance of addressing betrayal at its root for true healing.


    Episode References/Links:


    Guest Bio:

    Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert, the author of Trust Again, and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of: The Unshakable Woman AND From Hardened to Healed. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she’s an award-winning speaker and coach dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most.

     

     

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    Episode Transcript:

    Debi Silber 0:00  

    We actually discovered that there's this collection of symptoms, physical, mental and emotional, so common to betrayal, it's now known as post betrayal syndrome. And it what's so interesting is we've had I don't know easily 95,000 plus people take our post betrayal syndrome quiz on our site, to see to what extent they're struggling. We've all been taught time heals all wounds. I have the proof that when it comes to betrayal, that's not true.


    Lesley Logan 0:27  

    Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

      


    Lesley Logan 1:09  

    Okay, I got some hot topic and this is gonna feel a little juicy but maybe not at all, actually. But, when I discovered today's guest and what they talk about, I was like, oh, yeah, we have not talked about this not in a high-level way. We've definitely had guests come on, who have shared how they're betrayed in their life, and then how they've made it to where they are today just inspire you to be it till you see it. But we've actually never had a like expert on the topic of betrayal. And I really enjoyed it. I feel like I just went to a whole study class on betrayal. I feel like I'm really aware of it. And I already have three people I want to share this episode. It's not even ready yet. I just I'm like literally finished recording it. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I have to send this to this person, I have to send this to this person. And so my hope is, is that today's episode, betrayal not only educates you. And maybe what you're going through what's keeping you from being until you see it is an old betrayal. And that can really suck to admit to, you know, like to, to think that like 20 years ago, something happened to you and you haven't yet healed from that. And I just to make sure you know that that's okay. You're not the only one. You're not the first person. You're not the last person. But hopefully with today's guest, Dr. Debi Silber, we can start to heal. And we can all go from a place of being betrayed and wanting to take over our lives to actually making it make our lives right where they can be. And so this episode goes through a lot of statistics, a lot of information as symptoms you might be feeling in your life that could all be from a betrayal in your life and also the ways you can get out of it. So I'm really excited for this episode. I think it's gonna be really awesome. And again, I do think it's one of those ones you're gonna share with your friends right now because I'm about to send this information to mine. So have an amazing day and I cannot wait to hear your takeaways. And here's Dr. Debi Silber. 


    Lesley Logan 3:09  

    All right, Be It babe. I'm really excited for today's topic. Actually, I don't think we've even discussed this topic on the podcast and it is 100% aligned, aligned with us being until we see it. So we have Dr. Debi Silber, here. She is an amazing person who has truly forged her own path and is helping people on the topic of betrayal. So Dr. Debi Silber, will you please introduce yourself and tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?


    Debi Silber 3:33  

    Sure, looking forward to this conversation. So I am the founder and CEO of the PBT Post Betrayal Transformation Institute, I mean, clearly you don't study something like betrayal unless you have to. So I'm in business over 30 years - health, mindset, personal development, and then I had a really painful betrayal from my family thought I did everything I needed to do to heal from that. And then it happened again, a few years later, this time it was my husband, that was the deal breaker got him out of the house, looked at the two experiences thinking well, what's similar to these two, of course, me, but what else? And I realized, you know, boundaries, were always getting crossed, never took my lead seriously. And I am one of those people that believes if nothing changes, nothing changes. So here it was four kids, six dogs, a thriving business and I said, you know, a book wasn't gonna get me out of this jam, I needed a whole Ph.D. in it. So I did I enrolled in a Ph.D. program in transpersonal psychology, the psychology of transformation and human potential. Because I was changing so much I didn't quite understand it. He was too, wasn't ready to look at that. And then it was time to do a study. So I studied betrayal. What holds us back what helps us heal and what happens to us physically, mentally and emotionally when the people closest to us lie, cheat and deceive? That study led to three groundbreaking discoveries which changed my health, my family, my work, my life.


    Lesley Logan 4:51  

    Okay, I mean, crazy amazing. No, not that I would ever wish betrayal on anybody but like, thank goodness, we're able to take your betrayal and make it what it is because I, if you start to think about the different things that could happen to you that can really prevent you from living the life you want to live and betrayal is this one thing where you can see people in your life or maybe someone listening right now, like that is the thing that's keeping them from showing up in the world. Because the last time they did it, they got betrayed or whatever. So I just think that like, this is an amazing topic, can we just like, go down to the 101 of what betrayal is just in case people are like, I've never been betrayed before, my life is fine.


    Debi Silber 5:33  

    Sure. Yeah and then maybe it is. Well, I define it as the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule, and every relationship has them. So the way it works is the more we trust, and the more we depend on that person, the deeper the betrayal. So for example, a child who is totally dependent on their parent, and the parent does something awful. That's going to have a different impact than let's say, your best friend sharing your secret, you're co-worker taking credit for your idea. Still a betrayal, different level of cleanup. 


    Lesley Logan 6:00  

    Yeah, yeah. So you know. Yeah, I mean, that's a really interesting way of putting it like the stronger the bond, the deeper the betrayal. Okay, so then you start to go through and try to figure out what works to heal from betrayal. Obviously, there's some things that people can do that are better than others, like, what is the process of like? Is it first just recognizing that you've been betrayed? Is it going within? Is it you screaming and yelling at the other person?


    Debi Silber 6:27  

    Yes, yes, yes. You know, it's all of those depending on where you're at, the first thing is, you know, you have to know where you know what betrayal does, and that's where that's where the discoveries really came in. So I'm happy to share what they are, because that'll give such context to what we're talking about. So at first I was studying and like, I had a feeling betrayal was a different type of trauma, then, you know, death of a loved one disease, natural disaster, like I had been through death of a loved one. And I've been through disease, and I was like, You know what? Betrayal feels different. I didn't want to assume that it was the same for everyone in my study, so I asked them, if you've been through other types of trauma, traumas, does betrayal feel different for you unanimously? This one, oh, my gosh, it's so different. And here's why. Because it feels so intentional. We take it so personally. So the entire self gets shattered and has to be rebuilt. rejection, abandonment, belonging, confidence, worthiness, trust, like they're all demolished and have to be rebuilt. Like for example, if you lose someone you love, you grieve, you're sad, you mourn the loss, life will never be the same. But you don't question the relationship. You don't question the trust, you don't question your sanity, betrayal, has you questioning all of it. So that type of healing needed its own name, which is now called post betrayal transformation, that complete and total rebuild of your life and yourself after an experience with betrayal. So that betrayal is a different type of trauma, that was the first discovery. The second one was, we actually discovered that there's this collection of symptoms, physical, mental, and emotional, so common to betrayal, it's now known as post betrayal syndrome. And it what's so interesting is we've had, I don't know, easily 95,000 plus people take our post betrayal syndrome quiz on our site to see to what extent they're struggling. We've all been taught time heals all wounds. I have the proof that when it comes to betrayal, that's not true. There's a question on the quiz that says is there anything else you'd like to share? And people write things like, you know, my betrayal happened 35 years ago, I'm unwilling to trust. My betrayal happened, you know, 10 years ago feels like it happened yesterday. My betrayal happened 15 years years ago, I feel gutted. So we know you cannot count on time. Or you can't even count on a new relationship to heal betrayal. Healing needs to be deliberate and intentional. And, you know, I'm happy to share some of those stats from the quiz if that would serve you.


    Debi Silber 6:33  

    Yeah, I am like, fascinated. Because you, we've all seen it, like we've all had that family member who like something happened to them. And they were never, they were never the same again. And it can be so easy, like, oh my gosh, like they could just have like, gotten over it. Like they should just get over it. And part of me is like maybe like, for some reason, my brain is going like betrayal. At some point, you might even think that you betrayed yourself. Like, it's almost like, it's like you could reverse the betrayal that you did it to you. Because I trusted them. Oh, I I didn't listen to that red flag that I've had, like, you start to like, take it on as you did it to you.


    Debi Silber 9:35  

    And everything you're saying about the stuckness, I'm going to talk about that in the third discovery. But yeah, I mean, these symptoms are so classic for post betrayal syndrome, and here's the thing, we associate it because let's say the betrayal happened years ago, you know, we're like, well, clearly it's not from that. Oh, but yes, it is. And but we think because it was so long ago, it's got to be from aging. It's got to just be from daily stress. No, it's not. It's from an unhealed betrayal. So. 


    Lesley Logan 10:01  

    Let's go to the next one. I love this. Yeah. 


    Debi Silber 10:03  

    Yeah. So do you want me to read the stats? 


    Lesley Logan 10:06  

    Yeah, let's read it. 


    Debi Silber 10:07  

    So, out of 95,000 plus people, men, women just about every country's represented, 78% constantly revisit their experience, 81% feel a loss of personal power, 80% are hypervigilant, I mean that's exhausting, 94% deal with painful triggers. These are the most common physical symptoms: 71% have low energy, 68% have sleep issues, 63% have extreme fatigue, your adrenals have tanked, 47% of weight changes. So in the beginning, maybe you can hold food down, later on you're an emotional eater, you're using food for comfort, 45% have a digestive issue and that could be anything Crohn's, IBS, diverticulitis, constipation, diarrhea, bloating, anything. The most common mental symptoms: 78% are overwhelmed, 70% are walking around in a state of disbelief, 68% can't focus, 64% are in shock, 62% can't concentrate. So imagine you can't concentrate, you have a gut issue, you're exhausted. You still have to feed your kids. You still have to work.


    Lesley Logan 11:16  

    Oh, and all this is compounding. So like, and what's crazy to me is like, it's the majority, of all this is like a majority. So it's not like, some people have betrayal experiences and some people experience, it's like, well, they're all pretty much experiencing these things. And it's just, that is, all of that is exhausting. And you got to show up and then you have these expectations on yourself, and you can't meet them. So that's another spiral.


    Debi Silber 11:40  

    Oh, yeah, you're so right. And that's not even the emotional issues. So emotionally, 88% experienced extreme sadness, 83% are very angry and you just bounce back and forth between those two emotions all day long it's debilitating, 82% feel hurt, 80% have anxiety, 79% are stressed. Just a few more. Here's why I wrote the book Trust Again, 84% have an inability to trust, 67% I hope that landed, that's huge, 67% prevent themselves from forming deep relationships because they're afraid of being hurt again, 82% find it hard to move forward, 90% want to move forward but they don't know how.


    Lesley Logan 12:22  

    Yeah, like, it's like this. There's, it's not like they don't want their life back. But they don't know the next steps. Because moving on, everything we've ever been told, just get over it, you'll meet someone else or like, it's that hurt people hurt people. So they were just hurting. Like, it's none of that stuff is really helpful for you to build trust again. And also. And the thing about trust, which I'm sure you talked about in your book, and we can go into that is like you like to build trust, you have to trust like you actually have to be vulnerable in the beginning of a relationship. So that trust is built, but people want trust to be there before they're vulnerable once they've gone through something like that. And so, is that kind of why you, is that what you talk about in the book Trust Again, is that like, one of the things?


    Debi Silber 13:07  

    It is what, it definitely is one of the things and just to wrap up the post betrayal syndrome stats, think about it, you didn't hear me say one thing that said, you know, 20% 30%, these numbers are super high. They're also not necessarily from a recent betrayal. So this could be from that parent who did something awful when you were a kid, this could be from the girlfriend or boyfriend who broke your heart in high school. So think about this, that person may not know care, remember, they may not even be alive. And here we are decades later with these symptoms, because we haven't healed it from way back then. That's the trick. That's the crime. The good news is you can heal from all of it, which was the third discovery.


    Lesley Logan 13:47  

    Yeah. So okay. I do want to know how we can heal from it.


    Debi Silber 13:50  

    Yeah, and then and then I'll circle back to if you want, how to know, you know, when you said about, you know, being willing to trust and unwilling and, and putting the big wall up and all those things maybe I can (inaudible). So the third discovery, this, to me was the most exciting. And what was discovered was while we can stay stuck for years, decades, a lifetime and so many people do, if we're going to fully heal, and by fully heal, I mean, symptoms of post betrayal syndrome that I just shared to that completely rebuilt place of you're whole, healed, complete of post betrayal transformation. To get from one to the next, we're going to move through five proven predictable stages. And what's even more exciting about that is we know what happens physically, mentally and emotionally. At every one of those stages. And we know what it takes to move from one stage to the next. Healing is entirely predictable. Happy to go through the stages if you want. 


    Lesley Logan 14:50  

    Yeah, I do. I love this. I had no idea it could be so predictable. So I want to hear. 


    Debi Silber 14:55  

    And that's the thing. I mean, there's a roadmap now for it. And so it's all mapped out in Trust Again, it's all we do within the PBT Institute. It's where all of our coaches are certified in, moving people through the five stages, but I'll share them briefly here. So, stage one, if, you can imagine four legs of a table, the four legs being physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. What I saw with everybody, me too, was a heavy lean on the physical and the mental thinking and doing and kind of neglecting or ignoring the emotional and the spiritual, feeling and being. Well, if there's a table with only two legs, it's easy for that table to topple over. That's us. Stage two, shock, trauma, D Day, discovery day, the scariest of all of the stages. And this is the breakdown of the body, the mind and the worldview. Right here, you got the news, you've ignited the stress response, you are now headed for every single stress-related symptom, illness, condition disease. Your mind is in a complete state of chaos and overwhelm. You cannot wrap your mind around what you just learned. This makes no sense. And your worldview has just been shattered. Your worldview is your mental model, the rules that govern us that prevent chaos, don't go there, trust this person, this is how life works. And in one earth-shattering moment or series of moments. Every rule you've known and you've held to be real and true, is no longer the bottom has truly bottomed out from you. And the new bottom hasn't been formed yet. I remember a study participant saying you know what it feels like. It felt like, it felt like every negative emotion you can imagine, getting punched in the stomach and losing a child and a crowd all at the same time. It's awful. Think about it. 


    Lesley Logan 16:30  

    Like you're searching, you're searching and searching, you're adrenaline's going to find something. And you just been like crippled at the same time. So you can't even do it. Yeah, that is so (inaudible).


    Debi Silber 16:51  

    Yeah, it's visceral. So but think about it. If the bottom were to bottom out on you, what would you do, you'd grab hold of anything or anyone you could to stay safe and stay alive. And that stage three, survival instincts emerge. It's the most practical out of all of the stages. If you can help me get out of my way, how do I survive this experience? Where do I go? Who can I trust? How do I feed my kids? Here's the trap, though. Stage three, by far hands down is the most common place we get stuck. You know, so many people in this stage and I will explain it you will see. This is the place we get stuck and here's why. Once we've figured out how to survive our experience, because it feels so much better than the shock and trauma of where we just came from, we think it's good. And be like, okay, I got this. And because we don't know there's anywhere else to go. We park here, we plant roots here we're not supposed to. But we don't know that. And four things have, a transformation doesn't even begin (inaudible) work. But we don't know anything about that. So we plant roots here. And these four things happen. The first thing is, we start getting all these small self-benefits from being here. We get our story. We like our story. We get to be right, we like being right, you know, we get a target for anger, we get someone to blame. We don't have to do the hard work of learning to trust again. Can I trust you? Should I trust you? Forget it, I'm not trusting anybody. So we plant deeper roots. Again, we're not supposed to but we don't know. And now because you know that you know we're here longer than we should be. We start thinking things like well, you know, maybe you're not that great. Maybe you deserved it. Maybe this maybe that. So we plant deeper roots. And now because these are the thoughts we're thinking, well this is the energy we're putting out. Like energy attracts like energy. So now we start calling situations, circumstances and relationships towards us to confirm yep, this is exactly where you belong. 


    Lesley Logan 18:49  

    Yeah, it's like cognitive bias whatever yeah, right it's a whole like you're just I think this, I see this, it's proved me correct.


    Debi Silber 18:58  

    And your mind will find you as much confirming evidence as you want to see and then you also the misery loves company crowd comes along now to. Here's also where you find that support group that like in an awful club where it's like this happened to me oh, you think that's bad? This happened to me? And now you found your people. Yeah, so your (inaudible) to grow because you don't want to outgrow your people. The longer you're here the harder it gets to leave because this becomes your identity. It gets worse but I'll get you out. Because you feel so bad, but you don't know there's anywhere else to go you resign yourself right here you're like this stinks but like I have to get through my day. You have to, I have to go to work, I have to be with my kids. So right here is where you start using food, drugs, alcohol, work, TV, keeping busy whatever it is to numb avoid and distract yourself. So think about it. You do it for a day, a week, month now to happen a year, 10 years, 20 years. I can seriously see someone 20 years later and say you know that emotional eating you're doing or that drinking you're doing, do you think that has anything to do with your betrayal? And they would look at me like I'm crazy. (Inaudible) 20 years ago, all they did was put themselves in stage three, and stay there. Does that make sense? 


    Lesley Logan 20:10  

    Yeah. Oh, it totally does. And I think like, it's so interesting because the the world would have you think, oh, well, if you're emotionally eating, then you should just eat fewer calories and like, go deal with your emotions. But it's like, it's not even. It's not a, it's not a conscious awareness that those two go together. And also, you just try to mask that, like, oh, I'll just eat less. It sets you up for failure, you're going to screw up, because that's just human just gonna happen. And so then you're even more, you're stuck, because you're like, I'm not even.


    Debi Silber 20:43  

    Right. And that's why it's so common to stay there. And you know, it's interesting, because Trust Again maps out the five stages, but that's why I wrote (inaudible) hard to heal them, like you've been through the worst of it already. What in the world are you doing staying stuck in stage three, from harmed to healed is just for stage three, because that's where most people live at stake for life. And you and if you remind me, I'll get back to I want to get people out of stage three. But if you're me, like how do you know if you're in stage three? I'll tell you. Anyway, if you are willing, willingness is a huge word right here. If you are willing to let go of the small self-benefits, grieve, mourn the loss, bunch of things you need to do, you move to stage four. Stage four is finding and adjusting to a new normal. So here's where you acknowledge, I can't undo what happened. But I control what I do with it. Just in that decision, you're turning down the stress response, you're not healing just yet. But at least you just stop the massive damage you've been creating in stages two and stage three. Stage four feels like if you've ever moved, if you've ever moved to a new house, office, condo, apartment, whatever, all your stuff's not there. It's not cozy yet. But you're like, okay, okay, we've got this, stage four feels like that. But think about it, if you were to move, you don't bring everything you know, you don't take those things that don't represent who you want to be when you're in your new space. And what I found was, there's this one spot in moving from stage three to stage four. If your friends weren't there for you, you don't take them with you. You've outgrown them. And it's so common, people say to me all the time, I've had these friends 10, 20 years is it me? Yes, it is. You're undergoing a transformation and if they don't rise, you don't bring them, very common. 


    Lesley Logan 22:30  

    That and that's probably the hardest part. I'm sure in your work, you see people who have a hard time letting go of those friends. I've had them for so much of my life. And it's like, if but if it's true, if they're not rising up with you, if they're not, if they're not willing to stop telling the story as well, if they're not willing to stop being stuck. It's not that you're being a dick, not taking them with you. It's like actually part of you becoming the person here. So you've always wanted to be. If you loved being in stage three you would stay there, but you're not loving it.


    Debi Silber 23:02  

    That's it. And here's the thing, do you know how often I'll see somebody sabotaging their growth, because they don't want to outgrow their betrayer or they don't want to outgrow the friends they need in that stuck place. So they'll find themselves constantly sabotaging their success, so that they stay with the familiar known, the only benefit is that it's familiar. That's the only thing. But because it's familiar, they will you know, it's not worth healing and rebuilding themselves because of the known familiar but what's waiting for you in Stage Four and Stage Five is mind-blowing. So let me get to stage five, and then I'll tell you what we see. So stage five, once you've settled into this new mental space, you've made it cozy, you've made it home, you move into the fifth most beautiful stage and this is healing, rebirth and a new worldview. The body starts to heal. Self-love, self-care, eating well exercise, you just couldn't do that before you you know, you don't have the bandwidth. Your mind is healing, you're making new rules, you're making new boundaries, you know, based on the road you just traveled and you have a new worldview based on everything, you see so clearly and so differently now. And the four legs of the table in the beginning it was all about the physical and the mental by this point, were solidly grounded. Because we're focused on the emotional and the spiritual too. Those are the five. 


    Lesley Logan 24:24  

    Yeah, this is really cool. So because I, I feel like you know, the whole reason this podcast exists is that people think that they have to fake it till they make it and like I'm not about that because like I think that like acting as if you're the person that you want to be allows you to make decisions like that person would. And so when I was, what I was attracted to this topic so much is that like, I see so many people with all the tools they have all of them they actually have the goals, they have the things and they keep self-sabotaging or staying stuck or playing small or replaying a story. Well, last time I tried to do something this happened to me, and so, I love that you found these five, and also all these things that like, I think so many people are walking around from betrayal symptoms, not just like, you know, like depression is a symptom of betrayal. It's not that you know, so I feel like we're going around trying to heal symptoms, and not actually the cause of the problem. Is that what your studies all found? 


    Debi Silber 25:21  

    It is 100%. Because think about it, like, for example, 45% of everybody betrayed has a gun issue, you could go to the best good doctor on the planet, I'm friends with many of them, right? But here's the thing, that the amazing protocols they recommend will only take you so far, if there's an unhealed betrayal at the root of it. Unless and until you heal that, that's the issue. Or let's say, you know, you've in the beginning you you couldn't hold food down, and later on, you become an emotional eater, then you try to lose weight. Well, and you try all these weight loss things, that's not the issue or you can't sleep. So you start taking something for sleep, or your adrenals have tanked and you're taking something like some sort of adrenal support, they're all wonderful, right? But at the root of it is that unhealed betrayal. But when you move out of stage three into stage four, and five, what we see constantly within the PBT Institute, that's where you are ready for a new level of relationship with someone entirely new or with a completely revamped person of the person who hurt you. That's when we see new levels of health. That's where if I tell you how many businesses get birthed in stages four and five, the PBT Institute, that was a stage five thing, you don't have access to all of that newness when you're stuck in your trauma. You get your story, but that's really just about all you're getting. 


    Lesley Logan 26:43  

    Yeah. Yeah. So hurt me wonders. Like, do you think there's some people who have particularly like, locked the betrayal so much that they're, they're almost in denial that their problems are from betrayal like it? Some of these things might have happened when they were children? Some of these things happen when they're adults. How do you go about like understanding what betrayal you need to heal from if you're not aware? Like, I mean, people might think like Lesley, you're crazy. No, like, if my partner had cheated on me, that's a very obvious betrayal. But there might be some betrayals that like happened to you that were kind of can you're conditioned to so you don't even call it that you think it was your fault. So I guess I'm just wondering if, if there's like some ways to figure out if betrayal is what you're going through?


    Debi Silber 27:27  

    100%. So take a look at your health, your work, your relationships will see it in these three areas all the time. For example, in your relationships, I'll see an unhealed betrayal in one of two ways. The first is a repeat betrayal. The face has changed, but it's the same thing. You keep going from boss to boss to boss, friend to friend to friend, partner to partner and partner, like what the heck is it me? Yes, it is, not in that it's your fault. In that it's your opportunity, there is a gigantic lesson waiting to be learned. You are lovable, worthy and deserving. You need better boundaries in place, whatever that lesson is, until and unless you get that you're gonna have opportunities in the form of people to teach you. Like, for example, in my case, I had a painful betrayal from my family. And then I was like, all right, let me just heal from this. I think I'm over it, I'm good. And then my husband, but look at what I did here for me, I never did anything for myself, I wasn't even on my own like to-do list, you know, for me to enroll in a Ph. D. program. I didn't know who was gonna pay for it. I didn't know how I was going to manage the time. If I tell you how many people said I was full-blown crazy, right? But in making such a radical decision for me, it completely changed my life. And just to close the loop on my story, so everybody knows. Healing and rebuilding is always a choice whether you rebuild yourself and move on and that's what I did with my family wasn't an option to rebuild with them. Or if the situation lends itself if you're willing, if you want to you rebuild something from the ground up new as two entirely different people. That's what I do with my husband. So not long ago as two totally different people, we married each other again. 


    Debi Silber 29:10  

    Oh my God. 


    Debi Silber 29:12  

    New house, new dress, and our four kids is our bridal party. Betrayal will show you who someone truly is. It also has the opportunity to wake them up to who they temporarily became not that you need to do anything with that. But yeah, what most people do though is they're so afraid of the complete and utter death and destruction of the old as the only way you birth the new.


    Lesley Logan 29:37  

    This is, I'm happy to hear that because it sounds like you both had to go through some things for that to actually come back and like refine each other in massive ways. And I'm sure it wasn't easy. I I like that you break down to like, health, you know, that like relationships and I think the third one was work or was that family? 


    Debi Silber 29:58  

    Yeah, I'd love to show and explain how it shows up in different areas? So in relationships, it's going to show up in one of those two ways, in repeat betrayal, that is an unhealed betrayal lesson has not been learned. The second way is the big wall goes up, like nope, been there done that no one's getting near me again. And we think that's coming from a place of strength. And it's not, it's coming from fear. Our heart was so hurt that we are unwilling to risk that level of vulnerability, because we just can't fathom the thought of that level of pain again. So we would rather keep everyone at bay, than take the risk of that pain. That's an ideal betrayal. We see it in health, people go to the most well-meaning, very good doctors, coaches, healers, therapists to manage a stress-related symptom illness, condition, disease, at the root of it, like we said before, is that unhealed betrayal. And we see it at work too, where let's say you deserve that raise or promotion. But you don't have the confidence to ask because your confidence was shattered in the betrayal. Or you want to be a team player. You want to be a collaborative partner, joint venture partner, but the person you trusted, the most proved untrustworthy. How do you trust that boss, that co-worker that partner, you see? It's just everywhere, everywhere? 


    Lesley Logan 31:18  

    Yeah, I was just listening to a podcast the other day, and this girl had wrote in a question like, I want to ask for a raise. My raise last time was like 3%. And I really, I feel like I should be making 10 or 15,000 more than I'm making, I feel that people are, but I like had some mistakes in my past jobs. And all I was thinking is like, not at this job. You've been fine at this job. You can ask for the rate and they're like telling her like, you should be looking at what they're paying you way too little for this, you should be looking at these things. And all I could think is like, this poor person is carrying on some weight on their shoulder as if it's like, I mean, the way she said it was as if she'd like killed someone her past job. And it was, I doubt it.


    Debi Silber 31:57  

    Yeah. And you know, when you say that, and the first thing that comes to my mind is worthiness and confidence shattered. That's a betrayal. I'm sure, I'm sure. I wish I could speak to her because I'm sure that's what's at the root. 


    Lesley Logan 32:09  

    Yeah, I feel like okay, you guys, you guys study all these people. But I feel like almost you don't go through life without like, no one gets flipped through life being unscathed. I feel like betrayal can happen. So some of it so intentionally, I guess maybe it's unintentional as well. Even the people who are cheating on their spouses, like (inaudible) they intentionally I'm betraying this person, but like, it feels so personal like we talked about the beginning, that I feel like it can happen in a lot of different instances just by being part of the world. So I guess I'm wondering, like, is there a way to prevent betrayal?


    Debi Silber 32:42  

    You know, integrity? Yeah, here's and that's the thing. It's, it's such a part of our of our lives. And, you know, you wonder, it's like, Why in the world, would this be such a part of our lives, I kind of look at it as it gives you an opportunity to completely catapult yourself to a level of you, you never even thought possible, you know what it's like, it's like, you know, my kids used to love Legos, right? So imagine there's a Lego structure sitting in a corner of the living room, it's that good. It's just there. It's been built, right? And then one day, it's just completely knocked down. Rebuilding yourself, and transforming after betrayal is like looking at that Lego structure and say, you know what, I don't want to use that piece, I don't want to build it that way. I'm gonna use this, I'm gonna do it like that. And you are recreating everything. And betrayal lends itself to creating an entirely new version of you, where you take all the parts of you that you love, and you leave behind everything that no longer serves, like if the old you settled, if the old you tolerated, you know, stuff that this version of you doesn't want to if the old you didn't speak up for yourself, whatever it was, you have so many opportunities after betrayal, because everything's been leveled to decide who it is you want to be. And this isn't just having to do with another person. This is with yourself. Like, for example, after my betrayal, I realized, you know, I was so hard on myself, I was always such a, like, I was criticizing myself and so critical. And you know what? I don't want to do that anymore. So I decided that after betrayal, I used to always do things that I would call so stupid and so dumb, like, I'd get lost wherever I go. It's just part of what I do. They just get lost. And I decided, You know what, I'm just not going to call myself those names. So now when I do those same things, it's simply adorable.


    Lesley Logan 34:39  

    Yes, what a kind of way to talk to yourself.


    Debi Silber 34:42  

    I'll get lost just as I always do. And now I'm like, you're just so adorable. You see what I mean? So it's like you get to rebuild whatever you want. That's the opportunity but you never access that stuff. When you're stuck. Because you're like I have my story. It's like think about it. I had very powerful story all the people that I trusted all betrayed me. But look at the story now, you know, the books, the TEDx talks, the Institute, thousands of people, to the certified coaches, like, it's a way better story.


    Lesley Logan 35:12  

    Yeah. Okay, one more question. Um, now that you've gone through this, and like you've helped all these people who recover and get to stage five, do you find that people who've gone through stage five, if betrayal happens to them, again, they handle it? They don't have to go through all the stages again, or like, do we have to go, we have to, like, we feel all the feelings. 


    Debi Silber 35:34  

    It's two things. It's number one, it doesn't, it doesn't happen that way, again, because your BS meter is so strong and so sharpened, that you don't attract those types of people in your lives. If you do, there's another lesson needing to be learned. But the good news is you have the tools to get right, you get through it so much more quickly. And like the emotional trajectory of this is like this, and you you breeze through it so much faster. It's like, first, you are so profoundly sad. You're like, oh, my gosh, how could they do this to me? You know, you're heartbroken. And then it moves towards anger, where you like, how do you do that to me, like, what, and that's actually healing. And then you get to this place of almost like pity, like, really, that's like, that's what you have to do. That's actually a really, really great place. Because it's almost as if you were in the picture. And now you're out of the picture, looking at it, seeing it for what it is and realizing it's not you. So that's huge. And then you move, you keep going with the healing, you move towards compassion, when you're in compassion, you're good, that's when you're healed. That doesn't mean you excuse it, you're setting yourself up for it again, none of that, it just means you have completely healed and use the situation to create the most healed healthy, whole, complete version of you.


    Lesley Logan 36:54  

    Oh, I love that I that. There's something like very promising and hopeful about that because it, it means you don't have to repeat all of the stuckness and the level three, and you can move through it faster. And I think like you are right, the opportunities are so key. Every person listen, I feel like some of the, you mentioned earlier, some of the best things that have ever been invented have come through people healing from something, you know, I just interviewed a guest who lost her husband to cancer. And she wrote because of how she noticed how people treated her during his cancer. And then after she read a book on like, here's how you help people, and you're going through something, and like, I feel like, you know, we can, it can be so easy. Why is this happening to me, but also not that you'd ever want, like, wish for bad things to happen to you. But my goodness, like, the things that do come from the shit are helping so many more people. And you get to have this incredible journey around you and learn from these lessons. And it doesn't have to be your story. 


    Debi Silber 38:02  

    Right? Oh, you're so right. And it's so true. Think about it, you know, the most the best health experts. I know, they've been in the worst of health situations and they created their own concoction and healed from it. Someone who's you know, so great at helping you with, let's say finances, maybe they were broken, they came up with their whole recipe. So it's I feel like we have an obligation if we've been through something and we've sort of created a path. How do you not share that like when the five stages showed up? I'm like, How do I keep this myself? You know, so I put the five stages in a program and it blew up and then everyone wants to work with me and lead. Well, how do I do that? So I created our certification program because I wanted to get these five stages out to everybody. And then that blew up and I was like, Wait a second. I did the research. I know what works. I know what doesn't work. What would happen if I put everything that has proven to work under one roof. And that's the PBT Institute. 


    Lesley Logan 38:55  

    So amazing. You're doing incredible things. Oh my gosh, Debi, this is I feel like so enlightened. I feel like I've got tools. I hope our listeners do too. I could keep talking to you. We'll have to definitely probably revisit this topic again with you soon. But we're gonna take a brief break and find out people can work with you. 


    Lesley Logan 39:12  

    Now. Okay, where do you hang out? Where's the best place people get your books, people can work with you if they've gone through betrayal? 


    Debi Silber 39:20  

    Yeah, everything can be found in the PBT as in Post Betrayal Transformation, the PBTinstitute.com


    Lesley Logan 39:26  

    Perfect. Okay, you've given us some amazing tools and just so much information that I think will help everybody be it till they see it even in the midst of a betrayal. But before I let you go, bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?


    Debi Silber 39:42  

    You know, I would say if you're stuck in stage three, these are four questions I invite you to write down that's my way of saying write these down. Ready? First one, am I numbing, avoiding distracting? If so hell call yourself on it? Do you walk into the refrigerator, the kitchen, open the fridge and not the least bit hungry like what's going on? Do you go into a room put a TV on because you're desperately trying to drown out the sound of your own thoughts? Call yourself on it. Number two, what am I trying not to see? Call yourself on it. Am I trying not to see that health issue that needs my attention? That relationship issue? The job I hate? Third question, what's life that will look like in five to 10 years if I keep this going the same way you're dealing with it or not dealing with it, play it out. How does it look? The fourth question, what can life look like in five to 10 years if I change now? Not saying it's easy. Transformation begins when you tell yourself the truth.


    Lesley Logan 39:46  

    Yeah, and also like you can't, you can't be it till you see it if you don't have some ideas of where you want to like where you want to go to some sort of dream of something that can be on the other side of amazing. I invite you guys to write those questions down and go through it myself. A.k.a., do it. Oh, my gosh, Debi, thank you so much for being here. Y'all, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Please make sure you share this episode with a friend who you know who is going through some betrayal. You know, that person is that person stuck in stage three that you're like, oh my gosh, I wish I could just pull them out. Just send them this episode. You know, you don't have to tell them why you could just send it to them. And please tag Dr. Debi Silber, the Be It Pod and let us know what your takeaways are. We love hearing what these are because it does allow us to see the impact that we're making in your life. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 


    Lesley Logan 41:25  

    That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 

      


    Lesley Logan 41:52  

    Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

     


    Brad Crowell 42:07  

    It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

     


    Lesley Logan 42:12  

    It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

     


    Brad Crowell 42:17  

    Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

     


    Lesley Logan 42:24  

    Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

     


    Brad Crowell 42:27  

    Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

     



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    42m - Apr 2, 2024
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