355. Redefine Your Identity for a Purposeful Life

Ryan Lang challenges the traditional notions of high achievement, introducing listeners to the concept of whole performance. By sharing his story of personal downfall and rebirth, Lang illustrates the dangers of one-dimensional success. He offers guidance on aligning personal identity with broader life goals, ensuring that success is measured not just by professional achievements but by overall life satisfaction.

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In this episode you will learn about:

• The key differences between achieving and performing.
• Ryan Lang's turning point towards a purposeful life.
• The transformative power of finding one's passion.
• The methods for consciously crafting a desired identity.
• Importance of aligning goals with personal identity.

Episode References/Links:

• Ryan Lang on Instagram
• Ryan Lang on Facebook
• Empire Partners
• Ryan Lang’s Website
• Ryan Lang’s LinkedIn
• Sales Program - www.closeeveryone.com

Guest Bio:

Ryan Lang combines his expertise in sales, marketing, and human optimization with transformative whole performance coaching principles to take high achievers and businesses to the next level. He is the founder of Whole Performance Coaching, Lang Properties, Inc., and co-founder of Empire Partners. He has coached, managed and mentored 1000+ professionals over a 20 year span and worked alongside Rory Vaden, Russ Ruffino, and other notable thought leaders. In addition, Ryan has consulted with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, New York Yankees, Precision Nutrition, and Conoco Phillips. Prior to his current companies, Ryan was instrumental in building a 8-figure service firm in the energy sector, where he was responsible for the acquisition and divestiture of over $100 million in oil & gas properties, royalties and leases. In addition to 30 years of study in the fields of human psychology, sales and performance, Ryan holds certifications from Digital Marketer, The Transformational Coaching Academy, NASM, Precision Nutrition and Institute for Integrative Nutrition. 

 

 

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Episode Transcript:

Ryan Lang 0:00  

We can play at a really high level in one area to the detriment of so many other areas of our lives. And to me that is not high performance. High performance is really what I call whole performance. And that's being able to play at a high level in every area of your life. Yes, we're not robots, the meters are gonna move up and down just a little bit. But you're never in a situation where one thing is like way up here, and something else is just a dumpster fire. 

Lesley Logan 0:29  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Lesley Logan 1:11  

Okay loves, get ready. We got a great story for you. We got a great journey for you. We've got some great nuggets like mic drop nuggets, like you're gonna want to rewind, hold on, what did he just say? Like he was saying this one thing? Also, I should tell you, our guest is Ryan Lang, he was saying this one thing that I was just like, if you're watching our podcasts on YouTube, my hair bun is like nodding for me. It was everything. It was like the best encapsulated question, you could ask yourself to be it till you see it. So get ready. I'm not going to talk anymore, because I'm going to let Ryan do it for us. Ryan Lang is our guest today. Here he is. 

Lesley Logan 1:47  

All right, Be It babe, I'm so excited. I have a dear friend, Brad and I got to meet him in real life recently. And his name is Ryan Lang. And what he's doing is like, it's just really amazing. And I love his take on it. So we're gonna dive into his unique take on identity and things like that. So Ryan, can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at? 

Ryan Lang 2:06  

Yeah, Lesley, I'm so first of all, thank you for having me. And I'm so excited to spend some time with you. So I'm the CEO of a company called Empire Partners. And at our core, really, we're a business consulting firm. And we specialize really in the coaching space, though. We have deep backgrounds in the coaching industry and have worked for and consulted for some, I mean, really, the biggest coaching companies on the face of the planet. And Empire really exists to help coaches become profitable business owners, a lot of coaches know how to coach very well, very few of them are profitable business owners. So that's empire. And then, for me, personally, I am a high performance coach. And so that's something that I've been obsessed with for a very long time, I kind of went through, you know, quite a journey that we can, you know, get into if you want on our podcast today. But I went through quite a journey in the business world building an eight figure business and kind of watching it and myself burned to the ground. And having to reinvent myself, hence, a lot of my study and work around identity. And so, you know, I really work directly one on one with a handful of high achievers, entrepreneurs, executives, business owners, and help them play at a high level in every area of their lives, which is what I call whole performance.

Lesley Logan 3:30  

Very cool. Okay, so you've got your hands in a lot of things. I love that there's coaches for coaches, because same thing I coach a lot of Pilates instructors, because they're amazing at what they do, and they're not often very good at business. 

Ryan Lang 3:42  

Yes, yes. Very true. 

Lesley Logan 3:45  

You know, I'm like, oh, please don't do what you're doing that you're gonna lose your house with that model. Like you have to separate yourself. So Ryan, I do want to like something that just came to my mind, and we can dive more into your journey. But you said high performance coach, and something that I'm curious about. And you also said high achiever, which is very different than I think an over like, overachiever. Like I'm recovering perfectionist, overachiever. Is there a difference between high performance and high achieving or like, do you know what I mean? Like, should we be striving for high performance, but not like, I guess I'm wondering, like, how you differentiate those things and those personality traits? Because I know a lot of our listeners are perfectionist, overachiever type personalities?

Ryan Lang 4:27  

Yeah, absolutely. So I'm going to make, this is a really good distinction. And I'm going to, I'm going to rephrase it just a little bit because I actually think it's exactly the same thing. So high achievement is really what I think most perceive most people identify as high performance. And most of the time when we're talking about high achievers or high performers, we have a tendency to do that somewhat interchangeably. And it's usually someone who has made it you know, who's shown a significant amount of progress or capability or results in one area, typically, right. And so what I would redefine this as actually, one of the reasons that I started my whole performance program was because of the fact that I realized I fell into this category as that I, you know, many of my contemporaries as entrepreneurs and business owners, in that we can play at a really high level in one area, to the detriment of so many other areas of our lives. And to me, that is not high performance. High performance is really what I call whole performance. And that's being able to play at a high level in every area of your life. Yes, we're not robots, the meters are going to move up and down just a little bit. But you're never in a situation where one thing is like way up here. And something else is just a dumpster fire. 

Lesley Logan 5:57  

Right. Like your, your work is like insanely amazing. And your relationship is like, there's not there's no relationships. Got it. So like, okay, that I actually love that you brought that distinction, because I do think people use it interchangeably. And I think that it's your I like your idea of like a high performance is more, is whole, like it's more balanced. And like you have yeah, I think that that's really cool. Because it was just something that came to my mind. I was like, hold on, wait a minute. We don't often talk about high performers. A lot of people are high achievers or overachievers. And that's interesting. Okay. So I want to go back to your journey a little bit, though, how did you get into coaching, and then also that little bit of a burnout journey that brought you to where you are like, because I do think, you know, I had a coach who said, you can never take people's rock bottoms away. And I know, people are all like trying to protect their kids from like a rock bottom. But like, really, we learn the most from these these journeys. So I would love to hear your advice. 

Ryan Lang 6:50  

Yeah, so I, I got into the business world after spending about four years in sports radio and in broadcasting. I got into the business world, in my mid 20s. And, or early, mid-20s. And I had an opportunity in the oil and gas industry, working with my dad and a business partner, where we built a company, literally from nothing to eight figures, and it was a it was a wonderful opportunity for me and helped me learn and craft and cultivate a lot of different skill sets and understandings and all of that stuff. And over the course of time, you know, I built a hell of a skill set, I was you know, leading and managing upwards of 200 people at a time at one point. And, you know, I was making a lot of money for especially, you know, for a person, my age and living a life of freedom and doing what I wanted to do and all of that stuff. What I didn't realize was happening along the way, though, is that number one, I really was pretty much chasing a buck and a thrill, essentially, you know, my, my hedonistic setpoint was consistently getting higher and higher, and I needed more, and I just couldn't keep, you know, like, I was insatiable from that standpoint. And in conjunction with that, my wife and I had our first child, it was an amazing experience. And shortly after that, we found out unexpectedly that she was pregnant again. We didn't even know if we were gonna have another kid. And like, yeah, like, nine months later, we're like, hey, there it is, again. So we were almost 

Lesley Logan 8:49  

Oh my gosh those are Irish twins. 

Ryan Lang 8:51  

Very close. Yeah, very, very close to Irish twins. So when she found out that she got pregnant, it was a really tough time for her. And we, we started having a really difficult time in our relationship communication started to break down. And right around that time is like, I can look backwards now and sort of see when the pieces really started to fall apart. I spent a lot of time on the road like 75,80% of the time. And as our communication got worse and worse, I started turning into a completely different human. It was on some level somewhat self-preservation, so to speak but I literally turned myself into somebody completely different. I lived a completely different life away from home. I honestly, I think I was an absolutely terrible husband. Eventually, a really terrible boss and leader. I literally looked at myself every day and just hated what I saw in the mirror and I couldn't stop doing what I was doing. Like I just, I was on that highway to complete and total disaster. And I was not slowing down at all. And eventually, I came to a point where, you know, those things started to catch up with me and I can't even tell you how or why it happened. But God, the universe, whatever it is that you know, you believe in, I feel that I had a day where I was just like, I have to stop this or I don't know if I'm gonna make it. Like I hated myself so much internally, that I had moments where I was like, what am I doing, I might as well just get this over with.

Lesley Logan 10:36  

That's a really dark place to be and I think a lot of people can resonate, because it's like, I'm like thinking back to like your definition of like a high achiever versus a high performer and like, and then even like, your thoughts, and I didn't (inaudible) it's like, you probably like, this is the this is what we're doing. This is what I'm good at. This is where I'm going. And then it's like, too much of one thing is never, is never, it doesn't make you a balanced person. So yeah, that's a really hard day. 

Ryan Lang 11:04  

It was yeah, it was, it was pretty tough. And I, I had this really, I can't even explain how or why it happened. But I had a moment of clarity one day where I was like, okay, what do you want to do here, like you got two, two roads, you can take, you can see if you can repair your marriage, maybe you can, maybe you can't, but at bare minimum, you give it a shot and commit to a different life, no matter what happens with the marriage, or you keep doing what you're doing and see how that works out for you. And so I decided to go back and you know, the Cliff's Notes version of the story is that my wife and I agreed, we, you know, we'd give it a shot. And we did, and we're still married, and our girls are amazing. And we have a great marriage now. But at that time, I realized in order to make this work, if I was really going to give it a shot, I had to not be traveling 75, 80% of the time, and at the time, we were living in a suburb of Nashville, and Franklin Tennessee, and I was traveling to Pittsburgh constantly. I had an office there. And so I went to my partners and I just said, look guys, I can't do this anymore. I have to find a way to live and work in the same place. This isn't going to work. And so we had an office in Colorado, which is where I live now and where I'm from originally in Denver, and we made an agreement for me to come and you know, do some work out of that office. And shortly after we made that move was really good thing. And everything was moving in the right direction. But I quickly fell out of love with what I was doing professionally. And I realized finally for the first time, that I had no purpose in what I was doing at all. And it never bothered me before, to be honest. But it was bothering me heavily. The more internal work I did on myself, the more I was looking at what I was giving back to the world and realizing that I was sucking really badly in that category. And I also felt like, the more that I learned and grew that I had a story that would resonate with a lot of other people, because I knew a lot of people that were in exactly the same boat as I was and they weren't making it out on the other side. So. 

Lesley Logan 13:18  

It's almost like you were so busy. You didn't even have time to realize you had no purpose with what you're doing. And I think that's a really also tough crossroads to come to. It's like, oh, I don't you know, like, I actually don't like this, like I recall. You know, like, I when I start doing Pilates, I started to really like be in my own body and like, hear my own thoughts. And I'm like, oh, I don't like living here. And then it's like, okay, but now I know that (inaudible) right? And then I was like, oh, I don't like this job I'm in it's like, okay, so you end up with this like, amazing aha moment, but then it's like you (inaudible) your whole family to Colorado you have to. 

Ryan Lang 13:58  

Yeah, yeah. It's the equip, I'm sure you experienced the same thing. But it's getting unplugged from the Matrix. Yeah, yeah. And once it happens, like, you can't go back. You're out. You know, like, yeah, so I, once I kind of came to that moment that was really what led me to coaching is that I I knew I wanted to do something I had no passion for my industry at all anymore. I still wanted to make money. And I knew also that I wanted autonomy. I've worked for myself for so long. I couldn't imagine the idea of going to work for somebody. And so my first foray into coaching was I spent a year just trying to figure out what I wanted to do after I left my my partnership. And I have a background as an athlete and in health and fitness and I got my first job as a personal trainer, when I was 19 years old in and did that for three or four years and I thought to myself, you know, I had a, one of the places, interestingly enough, when I was working on myself after things were such a mess and I finally sat down and was like, okay, who do you want to be? And how do you start crafting that human, the very first thing that I did was start working on myself physically, because it felt approachable to me, I knew how to do it. And I knew that if I could just commit to that, like that would be one piece that I could kind of rely on. So I got back into the health and fitness industry at that point, first, just as a personal trainer. And then eventually I fell head over heels in love with nutrition and holistic health and all of that stuff. And that's kind of what got me into coaching. And then, you know, from that place, interestingly, the further along I got, the more I realized that I yes, there's a passion for health and fitness. But really, the overriding passion was for what was going on upstairs for somebody and helping somebody perform at a really high level. Not necessarily just physically, but in all areas of their life. And I knew that I couldn't do that purely through the lens of of, you know, personal training and nutrition and that kind of thing. And that's really kind of what started bridging the gap into where I am now.

Lesley Logan 16:18  

That's cool. Thank you for sharing, like, take us on that journey. I do. It's I mean, as a Pilates instructor, I know there's, I can do all the things, but if you like I, you know, there's so many things are out of my scope. So I went by training mindset and habits and breath work, because like, you know, sometimes you're just like, you're my client was late all the time. And she's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And I'm like, you have to actually stop apologizing to me. And you have to actually ask yourself, like, why don't you think you deserve a full 55 minute session, I'm charging you I'm sitting here like, I got a client after you. I'm like this, I getting paid. But you, this is yours. And if you only want 45 minutes, that's fine. But like, if you want the full hour, you have to ask yourself why you can't give yourself permission to leave work early, or give yourself permission to deal with the traffic. And that's what was one of those moments. I'm like, okay, hold on. That's not, it my training. Where do I get this? Because it's, it's, I can only do so much with your body. I can't, you know, like, so if your mind is not in it, and your hormones aren't like if there's so many other things to the to the puzzle. So what I mean like what a crazy journey to go from like eight figure business crazy company, that you're traveling all the time to really work on yourself, and then you're working with people. So can you, can we go into like, what was the the the lens of identity like, what were you? How is that affecting the decisions you're making or making you with the coaching you're doing? 

Ryan Lang 17:42  

Yeah, great question. So it's when I was kind of in, you know, the thick of it before I exited my partnership. And when things were as bad as, as they were, what I realized is that looking back, of course, hindsight, always being 2020, I made a couple of decisions that I really hated. And when I made those decisions, I backed it up, I reinforced it by deciding that I was the decision that I made, oh, well, because I did this, I guess I'm just that type of person, I guess this is just who I am. And I can remember times where during that period of time, I literally I started crafting the identity of somebody that I didn't want to be and hammering it into my subconscious. So I can remember for right now, as we're having this conversation, I used to take I used to do a lot of driving when I was in, you know, in Pennsylvania, between Pennsylvania and West Virginia and Ohio, visiting clients and some other things. And I can remember driving down the road thinking to myself, well, I'm really not there for my girls, I guess that's just how it's gonna be, I guess I'm just gonna be that dad who just sends money in the mail, and they can rely on me financially. But you know, I'm not home. I guess that's just who I am. And I literally just hammered it in. It's like, you know, identity with those kinds of statements. It's literally like hammering a nail into the wall or a piece of wood. Like we hit it a couple times. And it goes in a little bit. And we hit it again. And it goes in a little bit. And eventually if we hit it enough, that soccer is going in all the way and it's you know, it's all the way in there

Lesley Logan 19:30  

And so difficult to pull out because like 

Ryan Lang 19:32  

Yes, that's right. 

Lesley Logan 19:34  

I remember listening to a Brené Brown book many, many years ago, I don't, don't ask me which book it is guys, because I only remember this line. And it was, it was there's a difference between saying like to your child who gets a bad grade, you're stupid, or who does something ridiculous and you're saying you're stupid or that was a that was a dumb thing to do. Like there's a difference between your and that and so like, and it's so, it's so common for us to go I did something I am that person, as you're saying versus like, oh, I that was a weird mistake I made or what, why did it like, like, it's so, it's so crazy how we just like bring it on and our brain is not going to like, go metal on us and go rogue and go no, no, hold on. That's not you. (Inaudible) okay, that's what I am. 

Ryan Lang 20:18  

Yep, yep. It'll eat, it'll eat whatever you feed it. And, and you know, so when fast forward when I kind of started to when I was really kind of starting from scratch, Ryan 2.0, after I left my partnership and started over, I literally sat down with myself and one thing and I didn't even understand, I had done very little inner work to that point and I didn't even fully understand what I was doing. But one of the best decisions that I made, whether I knew I was doing it consciously or not, was that I didn't sit down and say, okay, what is it that I want my life to look like or what do I want to do in life or not even what do I want a day to look like? What I did is I sat down and I asked myself, who do I want to be? What do I want to be able to say who is the human that I want to show up as and that I want other people to see day in and day out? And that became kind of the bedrock for everything that I built. And what was interesting about that is that all of the things that had swirled around in my mind about where I wanted to go and the things I wanted to do and all of that stuff, when I focused on who I wanted to be and how I wanted to show up and what I needed to do to actually become that all of the rest of the things just came. 

Lesley Logan 21:52  

Yeah. I mean, you just described be it till you see it. Like that's the best, that's the best question you could have asked yourself versus like, it's so easy for us to go to the day or the calendar or the the thing the action. But it really is you have to understand the who so that you can understand, like, what would that person do? Like, how would that person show up like what of those actions I would take? Well, I love that so much. And I also like, you know, it's so important, because I have done, you know, many, many years ago, one of the first times I ever did like a goals like a one-year, five-year, 10-year thing was in 2012 I think maybe 2011. And if you do it like that, it's great. You'll get what you put down guys like it's, I got like exactly put down and I got it fast. And I wrote it. But it didn't make me happy because I didn't start with the who I started with the what. And like, so I remember, like everything was going along and I'm like, okay, now I'm going to be, start to find a yoga training. I'm like, do I want to be a yoga teacher? Like I'm a Pilates? Do I need to be a yoga teacher too? Like, it was this weird question that I was like, hold on, what did I write down? Like, what were, are these my goals? And so I had to go back to the drawing board a year later and go, Okay, who is? Who am I wanting to show up as, and then let's do this again. And it's really, really important because you will get what you want. Like, you, what you put out there you'll get. It's really amazing. And also like if you put out the wrong thing, you're gonna get that thing.

Ryan Lang 23:18  

Amen. Amen. 100%. And I love the way that you phrase that because it's so true if we attack the what first, we don't necessarily become who we want to become in the pursuit of the what, that was literally what sent me in the wrong direction in the first place. I was in complete pursuit of the what, with no belief or understanding of who I wanted to be and how I wanted to show up in the world and all of that kind of stuff and it led me to a really, really dark place. And I think that's especially circling back to the person that identifies as a high achiever, high performer, whatever. More often than not, that's it, they get fixated on a what, and once they realize they can do the what everything else kind of goes by the wayside and they inevitably become something that they don't choose. And just the same way that we have the ability to choose who we become by not paying attention to that and not choosing we can become anything and then wake up one day and go holy crap, who the hell is this?

Lesley Logan 24:25  

Well, we become so like, I was just listening to another podcast where it's like, if you aren't really clear on the things you want, or the like the thing, the who you want to be it's very easy for your algorithm to serve you that like, because like, I like curate my, if I don't like what I'm saying like okay, I need to do some searching like I need to recreate this algorithm. I love being cookie guys. Like you've heard it, you've heard me say, I say it all the time (inaudible) in my life. I'm like, yep, I like that because I want you to serve it to me again later. Thank you so much. Like if you aren't intentional about these things, you'll get served. And so I have a client who is like okay, I'm on this like, have you seen like the kitchen TikTok? And she's like, I'm buying these baskets. I'm like, what are you talking about? Last week you were focusing on rugs. What are you doing buying kitchen pantry stuff? Like what? No, your your whole life is being told what you're going to be based on because you don't know what it is. You're not super clear. Yeah, it's your it's, you know, many, many years ago before social media was like, if you don't have goals, someone's goals will become yours. Like it's the same kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. So okay, so all this work, all this stuff you've got you really focus on the who? What are you excited about right now? So now that you're like, on the other side, you got this 2020 hindsight, like, what? What are you so excited about right now? What are you focusing on?

Ryan Lang 25:41  

Oh, man, you know, for me, I'll say this in two ways. First things first, I'll talk about what I'm kind of excited for others for, you know, when I got into the coaching space, just like any other area of entrepreneurship or business ownership, I didn't know what I didn't know. And I knew nothing at that time. So I got my ass handed to me, over and over, and over and over again. And one thing that I love a lot about where I sit right now is that I sit in a space in this moment in the work that I get to do with people and the work that Empire gets to do with people and companies where we have failed over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. And we've watched others fail over and over and over and over and over again. So much so to the point where we figured out a lot of things that most people haven't. And one of the things that I'm most excited for is that right now, I believe that I and we collectively are so well positioned to help so many people who in turn are going to go out and help others that excites the ever living hell out of me right now. And what I love even more is that I also recognize that this isn't a place in any way, shape, or form. I believe that if I wake up one day and feel like I've arrived anywhere, I'm in big trouble. You know, it's I'm sitting in a place in this moment, personally, where what really excites me is that I'm also kind of ready for like my big shift. So, you know, the ironically, this year has kind of been a lot of my work starting on, you know, Ryan 3.0 at this point, you know, so I'm super excited personally to, to kind of take a lot of next big steps, and step into a lot of spaces that are unfamiliar and play with a whole lot of people that, you know, in the past, I thought maybe we're, you know, too far ahead. And, you know, it's gonna be a lot of fun, and I'm ready to buckle up and, you know, go fast. 

Lesley Logan 27:53  

I love that. I think that's really cool. And I also, you know, I want to help highlight, like, back when you're Ryan 1.0 your work is all about money. And then now it's about the impact on the people. And like, I feel like that's something that I focus on, I think about a lot because we, I want as many people in the world to do Pilates, like it's I'm just obsessed, I know, it's a great thing. I also know that like, not everyone will like me, and I'm not everyone's, like, I'm also not the best teacher for you. If you've got like pelvic floor issues, there's going to be other people for that, like I have. So I love that the more I help these other teachers, the more impact that makes because they actually can get their message out to the people that they're going to help and then those people are gonna have their lives up. So like, it's kind of this thing where it's like, when you do focus on like, the amount of people you can impact, like you it really does make the work you we do, like, more exciting because it's less about, like how much we're going to charge for that and more about, like, how are we going to make how we get these many people to how you help them? How are they going to hear it, how we can help. And I think that that it makes it way more fun and it does require more work on on the part of ourselves because you gotta keep growing and learning to configure it, how to help them in a different place that they're at. So I think that's really cool. Ryan, I'm excited for you. We're gonna take a brief break everyone, and then we're going to come find out where you can work with Ryan, hear more about what he is doing, and his Be It Action Items. 

Lesley Logan 29:20  

Alright, Ryan, where can people find you follow you connect with you more?

Ryan Lang 29:23  

Yeah, so you can get me on Instagram @RealRyanLang L-A-N-G on Instagram and easily findable on Facebook and LinkedIn as well. If you are in the coaching space and you want to be able to grow, scale your coaching business, you can check us out at www.empirepartners.io and we've also right now, you know we were very heavy into business consulting in general, but in addition to that, we do a significant amount in sales arena as well. And so if you want to check out our sales program that is good for any type of consultative, consultative selling, you can do that at www.closeeveryone.com. 

Lesley Logan 30:11  

Cool. We have a lot of coaches who listen in all different kinds of areas, so I'm excited for them to connect with you guys. Okay, you, you've told us amazing stuff that has some great nuggets. But just for our amazing listeners who are the recovering perfectionist, overachievers, who would like some action items at the end? What are some bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted steps they can take to be it till you see it?

Ryan Lang 30:34  

Yeah. Number one, as you and I talked about earlier, I think it is, first and foremost, don't do anything before you figure out the who, start with exactly who you want to be and I would even say, as you're sitting down and setting annual goals and things of that nature, before you even set those out, how do I want to show up this year? Who do I want to be? And how does that person do what they do day in and day out? And then, you know, the next step for me and anybody that I'm coaching, personally is, what are what are the things essentially I've got to build collateral for myself so that my subconscious can catch up with the things that I'm doing and who I want to be and where I want to go. So in order to build that collateral, I'm going to sit down, and I'm going to say, okay, what are some small steps that I can take literally every day and hammer in that nail, just like we talked about, so that when I look in the mirror, I actually believe that I am becoming that person. And eventually, I can easily become that person by simply sitting down and chunking my goals down to what are some small approachable tasks, and just so that it's not totally nebulous. A perfect example is if we're talking about health and fitness, I might say, you know, if I don't go to the gym at all right now, I don't do anything physical. It might be okay, you know what, I want to be the type of person who goes to the gym five days a week, but I don't know that I can trust myself to really show up and do that yet. So I'm going to promise myself that I'll go for a walk five minutes, 10 minutes every single day? Well, if I do that for a week, and then I do it for two weeks, well, now all of a sudden, I'm a walker, I can identify as that person, right? And then I can, I can stack something else small right on top of that, okay, cool. I'm a walker, you know, what, one day a week, I'm going to go to the gym, and I'm going to do a full body weight training session one day a week, well, I do that for a month or two. Now all of a sudden, now all of a sudden, I'm a gym person, right? So I think it really is deciding who and then you know, small things that you'll do repeatedly, day in and day out, that can start conditioning that identity where you build up that collateral with yourself and your subconscious, executing on those things, and then stacking the next small step right on top of it. Because at the end of the day, it isn't with any kind of a goal or an outcome, it's we can't predict the goal or the outcome, what we can predict and decide on every single day is that we're going to do the things that we believe will eventually get us there. So we fall in love with the journey, we set the outcome, we forget about it, we fall in love with the journey and we do it over and over again, and then see where we're at and adjust.

Lesley Logan 33:31  

I love all of those. I really do. And I love that you just said at the end because we can't control the journey. And like, if you are someone who identifies an abundance mindset person, then you have to like one of my, I remember, I wanted this house, the house we're in right now. And I remember telling my therapist, I was like, I'm just so nervous like what if we don't get it, like and she's like, oh, hold on, you are an abundance mindset person, you have to believe that there's other houses out there. Like if you don't, like you know, like, you can't get so obsessed with the outcome that you take away like what could possibly happen. And so I was like, okay, so I just need to fall in love with this process. And I just need to enjoy this journey that I'm on that could lead if it doesn't lead to this one, it's going to lead to even better one like it's gonna lead to exactly what's supposed to happen. And it was just such an interesting thing because it reframed how I like looked at the things that I was like holding on so tight as the outcome I want in, it's way less stressful. Just like, let it, let it happen. Yeah, Ryan, you're so awesome. I'm so glad we met and thank you for being here and sharing your journey with us. I know. I think that the way we when people share a story like that allows all of us to identify like different parts in our life. And we really went oh, that's interesting. That's what I was doing back then. And that allows us all to grow. So you're amazing, y'all. How are we going to use these tips in your life? Make sure you tag Ryan Lang, tag the Be It pod so we can share this, send this to a friend who needs to hear it, send it to your friend who you are like, oh my God, they keep self-deprecating. They're identifying as something that they're not, send it to them because it's, they might be the thing that they need to hear so that they can change their life. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Lesley Logan 35:06  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. 

 

Lesley Logan 35:34  

Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.

 

Brad Crowell 35:49  

It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

 

Lesley Logan 35:54  

It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.

 

Brad Crowell 35:58  

Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

 

Lesley Logan 36:05  

Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.

 

Brad Crowell 36:08  

Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.

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