As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Welcome to Week 3 of our Summer of Stories series! For the next 10 weeks, you will hear one powerful story after another. We are featuring 10 stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments. I need everyone to take a massive deep breath before listening. And listen to the entire episode, not just the first few minutes. This is not a political episode. This is a story of one incredible mom, Amy Ford, that chose to keep her baby boy after an unplanned pregnancy and the God-sized story that followed.  My favorite part is when she shares about her love for the women that walk with the shame of abortion. She is for all women and all stories. And she walks closely with women who have endured every part of the unplanned pregnancy journey.  I am praying deeply that this story reaches an untold number of women and heals their hearts in a special way. And that we may join together and support women with unplanned pregnancies in the way God would. That we would love them deeply.  Don&#39;t forget to share this episode with women in your community that need encouragement and healing around unplanned pregnancies. In this episode we chat about: <ul><li>Amy’s unplanned pregnancy </li><li>Amy’s encouragement for those who live with shame of abortion</li><li>How to create a safe and supportive church environment with unplanned pregnancies</li><li>How to turn towards God in some of life’s biggest mistakes or struggles</li></ul> Chapters00:00Introduction and Amy&#39;s Family03:34The Love Box and Volunteer Opportunities06:08The Rejection from a Pastor and the Healing Journey09:21The Impact of Amy&#39;s Story on Her Son14:35Creating a Safe and Supportive Church Environment19:28Healing and Hope After Abortion22:26Creating Safe Spaces in Churches for Unexpected Pregnancies26:34Taking Small Steps of Obedience29:15Celebrating Women Who Turn Towards God Connect with Pardon The Mess:<a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/pardonthemesspodcast/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Pardon The Mess </a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/courtney_defeo/" rel="nofollow">Courtney DeFeo</a> <a href="http://www.cpgive.org" rel="nofollow">Become a Christian Parenting donor</a> Resources from today’s show:<a href="https://www.amyford.com/" rel="nofollow">Amy Ford</a><a href="https://embracegrace.com/" rel="nofollow">Embrace Grace</a>A Bump In Life<a href="https://embracegrace.com/love-box" rel="nofollow">Love Box</a><a href="https://supportafterabortion.com" rel="nofollow">Support After Abortion</a> Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

One unplanned pregnancy and the God-sized story that followed with Amy Ford - Story 3

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For our Summer of Stories, I got the pleasure of interviewing a dear friend Rachel Faulkner Brown about her incredibly hard and beautiful life. In the first half of this episode, we talk about her journey with losing two husbands and walking that grief journey twice. She shares so much wisdom for other widows as well as practical tips for all of us enduring life’s toughest pain. In the second half of our chat, Rachel bravely shares about their family’s most recent struggle - an eating disorder that quickly took a grip on her daughter. She provides invaluable insight and practical advice from the deeply painful journey they have walked. My favorite part of the interview is when she shares honestly about the shame we can feel as mothers. As she watched her daughter walk through the hardest season of her life - she was also faced with a choice to hold onto that control or release her to God. We all have these moments in parenting and we can learn so much from Rachel’s incredible faith journey. I’m so thrilled for you to get to know Rachel. She is a dear friend and a woman that has experienced God’s goodness throughout some of the deepest pain in her life. You will be inspired by her calling to pass on the love of God and hope to others’ in their darkest days. In this episode, we chat about:<ul><li>How to practically move forward when you lose your spouse</li><li>How to wrestle with God when horribly hard things happen</li><li>How to lean into God when life is upside down</li><li>How to love our kids when it’s hard and you must release control</li><li>How to parent a child with an eating disorder</li></ul> Chapters00:00Introduction and Background10:46The Importance of Honesty and Community30:28The Need for Aggressive Treatment39:07The Healing Journey and Future Hope48:17Prayer and Encouragement for Mothers Connect with Pardon The Mess:<a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/pardonthemesspodcast/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Pardon The Mess </a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/courtney_defeo/" rel="nofollow">Courtney DeFeo</a> Resources from today’s show: <a href="https://www.neveralonewidows.com/" rel="nofollow">Never Alone Widows</a>  <a href="https://www.fathershousestudy.com/" rel="nofollow">Father&#39;s House Bible Study</a> <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/there-is-more/id1599884540" rel="nofollow">There is More podcast</a>  Podcast with Rachel’s daughter about her eating disorder - <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/familylife-today/id212174303?i=1000645849563" rel="nofollow">Part 1</a> Podcast with Rachel’s daughter about her eating disorder - <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/familylife-today/id212174303?i=1000646236221" rel="nofollow">Part 1</a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/revjoannemoody/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Reverend Joanne Moody</a> <a href="https://catholic-link.org/quotes/st-teresa-of-avila-quote-christ-has-no-body-but-yours/" rel="nofollow">St. Teresa of Avila Quote</a> Healing prayer -<a href="https://acminsoulutionsministry.org/virtual-prayer-booking/" rel="nofollow"> resource 1</a> Healing prayer - <a href="https://www.rebuildingtheruins.org/" rel="nofollow">resource 2</a> Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

My journey as a widow with Rachel Faulkner Brown - Story 2

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2024/6/5/20/1c2677b3-5515-4a45-a5ea-d6e8ed0528e1_06052024_ptm._joy_phenix.mp3

Welcome to week 1 of our Summer of Stories series! For the next 10 weeks, you will hear one powerful story after another. We are featuring 10 stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments. Today’s guest is my dear friend, Joy Phenix, who bravely shares her journey of losing her amazing son. Her story of loss and indescribable grief is so very hard to hear but oddly peaceful and sacred.  My favorite part is when she encourages us to be a student of others’ grief journey. Every single person grieves at different times and in different ways. We cannot judge our friends or family members on that journey. This takes patience and grace and understanding.  This episode is for anyone walking in grief - not just the loss of a child. All of us have seasons of tragedy and unthinkable hard times. We want to know how to trust God again and how to move forward in the midst of the pain. Joy will touch your heart in a profound way. I am deeply thankful for her willingness to share her story to help others.  In this episode we chat about: <ul><li>How to endure the indescribable journey of losing a child</li><li>How we can help and support friends in their grief </li><li>How to remember each person grieves differently and at unique times</li><li>How to normalize talking about grief through the process </li></ul> 00:00Introduction and Catching Up09:16The Power of Community in Times of Loss15:30Finding Hope and Healing Through Faith28:25Cherishing Memories and Finding Healing34:38Vulnerability and Trust in Difficult Times Enjoy! Connect with Pardon The Mess:<a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/pardonthemesspodcast/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Pardon The Mess </a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/courtney_defeo/" rel="nofollow">Courtney DeFeo</a> Resources from today’s show:<a href="https://celebratingjosh.com" rel="nofollow">Josh’s Celebration Service</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/joyphenix/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Joy’s Instagram</a><a href="https://a.co/d/8zVkc1F" rel="nofollow">Body Keeps The Score</a> Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Grieving the loss of a child with Joy Phenix - Story 1

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Comedian Michael Jr went from living in his car to one of the most influential and talented comedians in the country. In fact, he used to open the show for Jerry Seinfeld and went on to headline his own shows. He is now sharing the stage with his wife, Ebony, as they focus on strengthening marriages across the country. This engaging couple shares many great pieces of wisdom and insight during our episode, but I really enjoyed how they speak about conflict. It’s so easy to avoid conflict at all costs. They encourage us to utilize conflict for the greatness of marriage  My favorite part (or least favorite) was when Michael Jr. asked me to share honestly about a recent disagreement I had with Ron. He went through the list of the fruit of the Spirit to see how I was handling a specific situation. And I bombed his test. It was embarrassing, but really challenged me on how I handle conflict. I love their hearts for marriage. They have a passion to remind couples that marriage is GOOD and it does work. In this episode, we discuss:<ul><li>How easy it is to drift in marriage when kids are in the home</li><li>How to keep your marriage a priority and intentionally connect</li><li>How to utilize conflict instead of avoiding it</li></ul> Chapters00:00Introduction and Family Background04:04Letting Go and Trusting God with Our Children08:54Faith as a Consistent and Visible Part of Family Life23:53Merging Talents to Help Couples Find Joy in Marriage29:19Revealing Areas of Freedom Through Conflict Connect with Pardon The Mess:<a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/pardonthemesspodcast/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Pardon The Mess </a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/courtney_defeo/" rel="nofollow">Courtney DeFeo</a> Resources from today’s show:<a href="https://funnyhowmarriageworks.com" rel="nofollow">Funny How Marriage Works</a><a href="https://funnyhowmarriageworks.com/quiz/" rel="nofollow">Assessment for your conflict resolution</a> <a href="https://feelingswheel.com/" rel="nofollow">Emotions Wheel</a><a href="https://funnyhowmarriageworks.com/" rel="nofollow">Funny How Marriage Works Tour</a> Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

How to utilize (not avoid) conflict in your marriage with Michael Jr. and Ebony Wright

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Happy almost Summer!! I am delighted to share the story of Sarah Harmeyer and her love for gathering neighbors. You will be so fascinated by her story of creating a table and setting out to have people over. Over time, she hosted thousands of people just one night at a time. She absolutely inspired me to get back out there and invite folks to my home.  You will be inspired and motivated and so very touched how God used Sarah’s life to start a movement called “Neighbor’s Table.” He took a nudge in her heart and kept expanding it across the country. My favorite part was at the end when we talked about her current living situation with her aging father. She is so tender and so gracious with his walk with Alzheimers. I pray that I handle my own parents with such care and compassion one day. In this episode we chat about: <ul><li>How a simple dinner party created a movement</li><li>Why your neighbors need community </li><li>What an invitation can do for an individual</li><li>How we can preach less and simply love more</li><li>How to care for aging parents with compassion</li></ul> Chapters00:00Introduction and Catching Up10:01Stories of Love and Connection Around the Table22:59Building Relationships with New Neighbors and Introducing Sarah&#39;s Dad27:02Caring for Aging Parents with Love and Compassion30:53Closing Remarks and Action Items Connect with Pardon The Mess:<a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/pardonthemesspodcast/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Pardon The Mess </a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/courtney_defeo/" rel="nofollow">Courtney DeFeo</a> Resources from today’s show: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/sarah_harmeyer/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Sarah’s Instagram</a> <a href="https://www.neighborstable.com/" rel="nofollow">Neighbor’s Table</a> <a href="https://www.neighborstable.com/speaking" rel="nofollow">Invite Sarah to Speak</a> <a href="https://blog.closetomyheart.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/dinner-party-adult-conversation-starters.pdf" rel="nofollow">Table Talk Questions</a> - source Close To My Heart <a href="https://www.amazon.com/The-Kindness-Diaries-Season-1/dp/B097S685MN" rel="nofollow">Kindness Diaries with Leon</a> <a href="https://www.leonlogothetis.com/" rel="nofollow">Leon Logothetis</a> <a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/product/gods-holy-spirit-in-me/" rel="nofollow">God’s Holy Spirit in Me kid’s devotional</a> Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

How to gather neighbors and love people well with Sarah Harmeyer

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2024/5/10/18/c31a4a5c-347c-4edf-b362-fe68ed19bd56_mini_wk37_mission_mp3.mp3

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” —Matthew 28:19–20 We’ve spent this school year praying for our kids to be marked by the things of God. We’ve prayed that they live with integrity, confidence, generosity, endurance, and much more. But these are nothing more than admirable qualities if they aren’t used for God’s kingdom purposes. Before Jesus ascended to heaven, he gave us our mission. He told us to go and make disciples, sharing the story of his grace and love. The Great Commission is our central mission. The same is true for our kids. We’re God’s Plan A for spreading the gospel. There’s no backup plan, there’s no contingency, and there’s nobody else to tag in for our spot. But it all starts at home. It happens in the seemingly insignificant moments of reading Bible stories to our toddlers and the really hard places of pointing them to Jesus on the heels of their biggest mistakes and greatest obstacles. Please let us never underestimate the significance of our jobs as moms and dads, discipling our kids to share the gospel to the next generation. Let’s wrap up this school year by praying that our kids will be marked by the mission of Jesus, doing it with truth, discipline, purity, and every other characteristic of God we’ve prayed over them this year. Lord, thank you for the gift of my children and the privilege of praying over them this school year. Please mark their lives with a determination to fulfill the mission you created for them before they were ever born. Give [name] the wisdom to pursue you every day and a spirit of urgency in following your plans for their life.  God’s word speaks: 1 Peter 2:9; Mark 16:15; 1 Peter 3:15; Ecclesiastes 12:13–14 Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

BONUS: Marked by Mission

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2024/5/15/18/fe91fada-5e74-4bf3-b958-896b387c3f06_05162024_ptm_cassie_reed.mp3

When our children hurt (emotionally or physically), we simply hurt. One of the hardest jobs as a parent is to discern when to step in and when to let them live through hard seasons. I am so thrilled to introduce you to my very own therapist, Dr. Cassie Reid.  Cassie has counseled me and my own children through many seasons. It’s taken me years to find a good fit and I am beyond thankful for her wisdom and direction for our family. It is not always clear if our kids are just being kids - or if they are really struggling internally.  Listen in as Cassie and I chat about the challenges that come our way as parents. She shares many practical recommendations for us parents.  My favorite part is when she talks about the expectations we have for our kids. She challenges us to look inward and really work on ourselves and our own healing journey. She shares how our unrealistic expectations can start to produce extra pressure and anxiety and how to look out for that scenario in our homes.  In this episode we chat about: <ul><li>When to see a therapist or counselor</li><li>Why counseling is so important for families </li><li>Two pieces of advice for parents that she wishes we all knew</li></ul> Chapters:00:00Introduction and Personal Connection01:36Dr. Cassie Reed&#39;s Background and Passion08:35Recognizing the Need for Professional Help10:06Finding Affordable Therapy Options12:55The Impact of Parental Anxiety on Children14:36Setting Boundaries and Recognizing Age-Appropriate Behavior22:26Setting Boundaries and Creating Space for Children23:49Managing Expectations and Apologizing to Children26:19The Impact of Technology on Children&#39;s Mental Health27:10Navigating Issues of Gender and Sexual Preferences as Christian Parents29:04Dr. Cassie Reid&#39;s Work in Spiritual Abuse Prevention and Healing Connect with Pardon The Mess:<a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/pardonthemesspodcast/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Pardon The Mess </a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/courtney_defeo/" rel="nofollow">Courtney DeFeo</a> Resources from today’s show: <a href="https://cassiereid.com/" rel="nofollow">CassieReid.com</a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/drcassiereid/" rel="nofollow">Cassie’s Instagram</a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/churchrehab/" rel="nofollow">Church Rehab by Dr. Cassie Reid</a> <a href="https://www.lifeway.com/en/product-family/come-home-bible-study?mid=pm%3Apod%3A240501%7Cboth%7Cna%7Cwomen%7Ccome_home%7Cna%7Cch_cpn_cp%3Ana%3Ana" rel="nofollow">Come Home</a> <a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/product/gods-holy-spirit-in-me/" rel="nofollow">God’s Holy Spirit in Me kid’s devotional</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/My-Daddys-Hero-Story-Ultimate/dp/0736987762?crid=1UJ341P2KR0R2&keywords=my+daddy%26%2339%3Bs+hero+jerrad+lopes&language=en_US&linkCode=sl1&linkId=45e9cf7b34fc007c646e888b68f119e5&qid=1706549969&ref_=as_li_ss_tl&sprefix=my+daddys+hero%2Caps%2C93&sr=8-1&tag=datiloit-20" rel="nofollow">My Daddy’s Hero</a> Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Does my child need a therapist? Navigating anxiety with our kids with Dr. Cassie Reid

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“Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us.’” —1 Samuel 7:12The Israelites were in desperate need of a victory against the Philistines. Just as they were convincing themselves it was a lost cause, Samuel cried out to God and received an answer in the form of deafening thunder that scared away the enemy and secured an Israelite victory.Orthodox battle move? No. God protecting his people? Absolutely.No sooner than they finished their victory lap, Samuel stopped everyone in their tracks to make a critical point. He grabbed a stone as a memorial and named it Ebenezer, translated as “the Lord has helped us to this point.”Samuel knew their battle win was significant from a tactical perspective, but he also knew the more significant win was the reminder that God had protected them in the past and he’d just done it again.Our kids need the same reminder today that Samuel gave way back then: The God who has taken care of us up to this point will do it again. He is faithful and trustworthy. What are the Ebenezers in your family? Where do you need to start laying down stones as reminders to your family that God’s faithfulness in the past shows he’s trustworthy for the future? Lord, remind us to always pass down the stories of your faithfulness. Mark [name] with a good memory of your provision, giving them confidence to trust your heart when they can’t see your hand. Help us to celebrate the places where you’ve given us victory, making a lasting memorial of your faithfulness for generations to come. God’s word speaks: Deuteronomy 7:9; 2 Thessalonians 3:3; Lamentations 3:22–23; Psalm 86:15 Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

BONUS: Marked by Remembering

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2024/5/8/21/5fee43ec-b388-4485-bba5-f14a1f3bbbfe_05092024_ptm_ferrell_mason.mp3

If you are a parent, you know the feeling of just “making it through” each day. So often, we want more for our lives. However, we feel stuck and are not sure how to do that when there are children depending on us every day. My guest this week, Farrell Mason, shares about a time when she felt that her life was running her ragged. She decided to do something about how she lived her one precious life. She took action to create a more soulful life in the midst of raising six kids. Farrell Mason is a minister, a mom, a wife and a beautiful writer. She has a passion for standing with others in the midst of their hardest moments in life.   My favorite part is towards the end when Farrell offers very practical suggestions on how to love others well. She is so passionate about caring for yourself as a mom, but also leaning into simple ways we can care for our neighbors. You won’t feel guilt or more pressure to perform - you will feel seen and inspired to lean into more for your life. In this episode we chat about: <ul><li>How to live this one life well</li><li>How to push against busy and impossibly full schedules</li><li>How to pay attention to what your soul craves </li><li>How to help your hurting friends </li></ul> Enjoy! Connect with Pardon The Mess:<a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/pardonthemesspodcast/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Pardon The Mess </a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/courtney_defeo/" rel="nofollow">Courtney DeFeo</a> Resources from today’s show:<a href="https://www.breadandhoneyblog.net/" rel="nofollow">Farrell’s Site - Bread and Honey</a><a href="https://a.co/d/739KEdn" rel="nofollow">Farrell’s new book: Soulfull</a> <a href="https://www.lifeway.com/en/product-family/come-home-bible-study?mid=pm%3Apod%3A240501%7Cboth%7Cna%7Cwomen%7Ccome_home%7Cna%7Cch_cpn_cp%3Ana%3Ana" rel="nofollow">Come Home</a> Chapters: 00:00Introduction and Connection09:50Living a Full Life and the Importance of Time16:22Commitment to Intentional Living32:21Finding Hope in Difficult Times Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

When you want more for your life, but feel stuck with Farrell Mason

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2024/5/3/14/5664573c-7e2f-4a25-b58c-f5bcd0b89f92_05062024_mini_wk35_humility.mp3

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” —Philippians 2:3–4 We’re raising kids in a culture that basks in recognition and praise, making it difficult to strike the balance of teaching our kids to be confident in their God-given identity while also exuding a humble spirit. Humility is not ignoring their giftings, but it’s teaching them to be willing to use them in a way that draws attention to the Giver of the gift rather than the gift itself. Humility is also not a call to raise silent or passive kids. Rather, it’s teaching them a quiet and meek spirit before God. Jesus is the perfect model of humility. He came to earth in the form of a baby and lived a blameless life so he could die on the cross and give us new life. He more than deserved recognition and acknowledgment for his heavenly status, yet he chose to demonstrate humility because of his commitment to the Father’s will and the larger gospel story. He was righteously indignant when necessary but gentle and loving in leading his flock. We’re praying this week for our kids to humbly serve others, admitting their mistakes, and recognizing that all praise and glory belongs to the Lord as the giver of all good gifts (James 1:17). Let’s also ask the Lord to guide them in being passionate and outspoken when appropriate, but also disciplined enough to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19). Lord, you’re the perfect model of living humbly while making a kingdom impact on those around you. Give [name] a spirit of humility and the desire to bring you glory, even when it comes with no acknowledgment. Help them to honor others above themselves and to live in your confidence so they don’t need praise or acceptance from others. God’s word speaks: Ephesians 4:2; Romans 12:16; James 4:10; Colossians 3:12 Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

BONUS: Marked by Humility

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2024/5/1/20/d844905a-b4fc-472e-abb1-2640467ab441_05022024_ptm_kari_k.mp3

Do you have regrets as a parent? We all do! I have a long list myself. I thought it would be encouraging and super helpful for me to share just a few of my own regrets in the last 17 years of parenting. I asked Kari Kampakis to share her own regrets in this podcast episode.  I have always loved Kari’s relatable and authenticity as a writer, podcaster and speaker. When I read her encouragement for moms - I feel like she has read my mind. She has a real gift for walking with moms so that we feel so seen. When you encounter Kari, you feel uplifted and equipped but never condemned or shamed.  My favorite part is when she shares about how to love strong-willed children well. She shares a powerful story of how her husband approached her strong-willed daughter vs her approach. There’s such humility that pours from Kari when she speaks. It gives us all the permission to be honest about our mistakes. And to have the courage to pivot as we discover a better way.  In this episode we chat about: <ul><li>Raising strong-willed kids</li><li>How to decide if you should have another child</li><li>How to make health a priority in your home from the start</li></ul> 00:00Introduction and Getting to Know Each Other06:21Parenting the Heart vs. Focusing on Behavior13:05Finding Joy in Every Season of Parenthood29:39Trusting God to Fill in the Gaps in Parenting35:56Delaying Cell Phone Use and Monitoring Social Media Connect with Pardon The Mess:<a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/pardonthemesspodcast/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Pardon The Mess </a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/courtney_defeo/" rel="nofollow">Courtney DeFeo</a> Resources from today’s show:<a href="http://karikampakis.com" rel="nofollow">KariKampakis.com</a>Kari’s book: <a href="https://a.co/d/5fljZ65" rel="nofollow">Love Her Well</a>Kari’s book: <a href="https://a.co/d/5fljZ65" rel="nofollow">More Than a Mom</a> Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Confession Time: 3 Parenting Regrets with Kari Kampakis

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“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” —1 Corinthians 9:24 The Christian life is more like a marathon than a sprint, requiring significant endurance if we’re going to make it through the obstacles we face along the way. From the day we accept Christ until we see him face-to-face, we’re continually building up endurance so we can best run the race set out for us. Having endurance in the context of our faith means we’re always in training mode, getting ready for the hard places of discouragement and suffering that will challenge our readiness for the race. We build up our endurance practically by staying true to the basics: things like spending daily time with God, finding Christian community, memorizing Scripture, and seeking discipleship. What a GIFT to have author and speaker (and track coach) Dorina Gilmore-Young on with us chatting about endurance. I absolutely loved her perspective as a widow, mom and coach - how endurance is something God produces in our kids through trials. We can pray for that process - that they may endure life’s hardships with Jesus as their strength. Let’s challenge our kids to run well so they will hear Jesus say at the finish line, “Well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23). Lord, before you created even one of us, you set us apart for your purposes. Give [name] the endurance to run the race you have planned for their life. Help them to stay the course when they run up against obstacles along the way, reminding them of the importance of putting in the daily work so they are prepared for anything they face. God’s word speaks: Philippians 3:14; Romans 5:3–4; 2 Timothy 4:7; Hebrews 10:36 Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

BONUS: Marked by Endurance

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Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp. Are you struggling with where your child should go to school? This common fear and worry can grip us all. We want so desperately to make the right choice for each of our kids. It can also be confusing when your friends all have different opinions on the matter or maybe your spouse is in disagreement with your plan.  You will feel extremely encouraged by today’s episode with Terry Ann Kelly. She has practical advice for these decisions as well as grounding truths to calm our hearts. She is a grandmother, wife and mom and has many years of experience with schools. As the founder of Students Standing Strong, she has seen first hand that God can do anything with any child and any school. My favorite part is the story she shares about her son at the end. It is so refreshing to hear a very personal example of how God can use each of our kids in the most powerful ways at school every day.  In this episode we chat about: <ul><li>How to seek God in tough school decisions</li><li>How to bring your faith into the public school setting</li><li>How to call your kiddos higher in loving their classmates</li></ul> Enjoy! Connect with Pardon The Mess:<a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/pardonthemesspodcast/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Pardon The Mess </a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/courtney_defeo/" rel="nofollow">Courtney DeFeo</a> Resources from today’s show:<a href="https://www.studentsstandingstrong.org" rel="nofollow">Students Standing Strong</a><a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/moms-dads-grads-gift-guide/" rel="nofollow">Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide</a> Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp. Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

Is private school better than public school? With Terry Ann Kelly

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“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” —1 Peter 4:10 As we wrap up the greatest commandment, we’re focused on how to love God with all of our strength. Contrary to how it sounds, loving God with all of our strength is not a reference to our physical strength. The Hebrew word used for strength in the context of the greatest commandment is me’od, which is translated as “much” or “very.”Loving God with all of our strength is loving God with our “much-ness.” It’s using our possessions, our time, our talents, our parenting, our volunteering—everything we’ve got—to love God and live for him. Said differently, wherever the Lord has planted you and with whatever resources he’s provided, use all your strength to love him smack-dab in the middle of it all.As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their strength, we’re praying that they use all of their party-planning skills, math aptitude, athleticism, and social media acumen for God’s greatest glory. It’s taking the seemingly small places in their life and asking the Lord to use it in every possible way for his bigger purposes.Spend time this week asking the Lord to use your kids’ gifts to bring God glory. Pray that he uses them for his greater purposes right where he has them, teaching them to love the Lord with all of their much-ness and strength.Lord, thank you for all the gifts and talents you’ve given our family. I pray that you will guide my children to use these gifts generously for your glory. With all of the much-ness you’ve given [name], remind them to serve those around them as they learn to love you with all of their strength.  God’s word speaks: Hebrews 13:16; Proverbs 11:24–25; Deuteronomy 16:17; Colossians 3:23 Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

BONUS: Marked by our Strength

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Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp. It’s not often you get to interview a college kid about growing up as a Christian. The Stites are family friends of ours and a family we admire and respect so very much. I am often asking them for advice since they are ahead of the game by a few years.  Today’s episode is a chat with their son, Campbell, who is studying political science at Texas A&amp;M University. He has always been a leader and I have absolutely loved watching God grow his faith during his first year in college. He’s making some wise choices that we can all learn from. My favorite part of the episode is when he encourages parents to get interested in their child&#39;s interests. He shares about how his mom invested in his interests and helped foster a super close mom/son relationship.  In this episode we discuss:<ul><li>How to make faith a priority in college</li><li>The power of friends and your circle</li><li>How to let boys have freedom vs controlling them</li><li>The gift of allowing your teens to fail</li></ul> Connect with Pardon The Mess:<a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/pardonthemesspodcast/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Pardon The Mess </a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/courtney_defeo/" rel="nofollow">Courtney DeFeo</a> Resources from today’s show: <a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/moms-dads-grads-gift-guide/" rel="nofollow">Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide</a> Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp. Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

How can our kids keep their faith in college? with Campbell Stites

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“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” —2 Corinthians 10:5 As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their minds, we have to consider that our mind is made up of our thoughts. So, in order to love God with all of our minds, we have to think about what fills our minds and how it impacts the way we love God.Our thoughts are significant because they have the potential to grow our love for God or distract and pull us away from a relationship with him and his great plans for our life. The Enemy loves to get a hold of our thoughts and make us question God’s goodness and protection in our life.For our kids to love God with all of their minds, we’re praying that they “take captive” all the thoughts that are destructive, not instructive. This process of taking captive their thoughts is accomplished by knowing God’s word so that their thoughts are weighed against the truth of Scripture. It also comes by considering what’s going into their minds and how that’s fueling (or lessening) their love for God. It’s praying that they evaluate the movies they watch, the music they listen to, and the voices they allow to speak into their lives. Since our kids’ thoughts have the greatest impact on loving God with all of their minds, let’s take time to pray over their thoughts and ask God to help them take each one captive. Lord, teach us to love you in all of the different areas of our life, including our minds. If our minds are made up of our thoughts, teach us to take captive our thoughts and bring them in line with your truth. Be with [name], helping them to guard what they allow into their minds so that it always honors you. God’s word speaks: Isaiah 26:3; Jeremiah 33:3; Colossians 3:2–3; 1 Peter 1:13 Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

BONUS: Marked by our Mind

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2024/4/10/21/ebcc9257-9592-41a4-aaf7-61cc972009d6_04112024_ptm_addie_camp.mp3

What a treat to talk to Adrienne Camp about how she is trusting God with her kids.  Adrienne “Adie” Camp, a South African singer and songwriter, was the lead singer of the Christian rock band The Benjamin Gate before launching her solo career. She is married to fellow musician Jeremy Camp, whom she met on tour in 2002. They have been married since 2003 and have two daughters, Bella and Arie, and one son, Egan.  Throughout this entire episode, you will hear Adrienne’s heart to connect people in a very tangible way with Jesus. However, she acknowledges that we don’t always feel excited about that. Sometimes, we are sitting in a real place of doubt, frustration and disbelief. No matter where you are on your faith journey (or your kids) - I think you will feel so encouraged by Adrienne’s words and wisdom.  In this episode we discuss:<ul><li>The desire to protect our kids from mistakes</li><li>The real grief experienced when you launch a child </li><li>Getting honest with God - all our feelings and emotions included doubt and anger</li></ul> Connect with Pardon The Mess:<a href="https://www.christianparenting.org" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/pardonthemesspodcast/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Pardon The Mess </a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/courtney_defeo/" rel="nofollow">Courtney DeFeo</a> Resources from today’s show:<a href="https://a.co/d/hJdLZvP" rel="nofollow">As For Me </a>- Adrienne’s latest bible study on Psalms <a href="https://a.co/d/dZ6LQ08" rel="nofollow">Even Me</a> - Adrienne’s book with her girls about their journey to AfricaAdrienne Camp’s <a href="https://www.instagram.com/adiecamp/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Instagram</a> Pardon the Mess<a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pardon-the-mess-with-courtney-defeo/id1424241361?i=1000635770373" rel="nofollow"> episode</a> with Jonathan and Peta Pitts<a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/store/" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting Store</a> (15% off with coupon PODCAST2024) Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

How to approach God when you have anger, doubt and frustration with Adrienne Camp

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“What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” —Mark 8:36Loving God with all of our soul sounds very important, but what exactly is our soul?Our soul lies deep down inside of us and is our very core. It’s the invisible part of us that connects us with God. It is where we are most at home, and it’s the most fundamental driver of who we are from the inside out. If you strip away all of our outward actions and how we choose to portray ourselves (or how others may define us), the soul is our truest self.To love the Lord with all of our soul, we’ve got to be faithful in private. We’ve got to be devoted to the things that drench our soul in Jesus and be willing to drop the things that don’t. It’s spending time in prayer confessing what’s in our soul, not just in our mind. As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their souls this week, let’s pray that they learn to love him with the very core of who they are—not by what they intellectually believe about him, or how they serve him, or what they communicate to others by their faith, but truly learning to love Jesus from the core of their being. Pray for the Lord to reveal the depths of their soul and teach them how to love him with all that they are. Lord, we confess to spending a disproportionate amount of time worrying about our earthly bodies, usually at the expense of our soul. Please teach [name] how to love you from their very core, giving priority to the only part of us that will live eternally. God’s word speaks: Psalm 119:81; Psalm 63:8; Deuteronomy 4:29; Matthew 10:28 Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

BONUS: Marked by our Soul

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I am taking a guess that 100% of us are exhausted. And this is beyond the physically tired feeling. You all will love the encouragement and wisdom on today’s episode by Jess Connolly. I have always loved her teaching and preaching - because she balances compassion and truth so well. She doesn’t leave us sitting in the challenges - she provides biblical, practical and realistic ways we can move forward in this issue. This idea of burnout and an unsustainable pace is not new information. We know we are in it but are not sure why or how to stop it as parents? So what do we do? Tune in to this week’s podcast chat with Jess - you won’t feel shame - you will feel equipped and encouraged to do the hard work of rest. We all know our souls are crying for it. I was so absolutely amused at the start of our conversation when I asked her about her cold plunge obsession. Is anyone else into the idea of purposely jumping into ice cold water? She actually gives a pretty compelling case to try it. <ul><li>Jess’ story of emotional, physical and spiritual breakdown</li><li>How to tend to your soul and stop feeling so defeated </li><li>How to break the cycle of surviving vs thriving </li><li>How can we respond to God’s invitation to rest</li></ul> Connect with Pardon The Mess:<a href="https://www.christianparenting.org" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/pardonthemesspodcast/?hl=en" rel="nofollow">Pardon The Mess </a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/courtney_defeo/" rel="nofollow">Courtney DeFeo</a> Resources from today’s show:<a href="http://jessconnolly.com" rel="nofollow">JessConnolly.com</a><a href="https://a.co/d/6swFdmE" rel="nofollow">Tired of Being Tired</a> - Jess’ new book<a href="https://hubs.la/Q02lJBkw0" rel="nofollow">Raising Mentally Strong Kids</a><a href="https://www.christianparenting.org/store/" rel="nofollow">Christian Parenting store</a> (15% off with coupon PODCAST2024) Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

When you are beyond tired (soul exhausted) and don’t know how to get rest with Jess Connolly

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2024/3/29/22/eb60a47b-2609-42b0-8942-dfc80f082d14_04012024_mini_wk30_heart.mp3

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” —Mark 12:30 Remember the lawyer who tried to trick Jesus by asking him to name the greatest commandment? (Lawyers, am I right?) Jesus, knowing this guy’s antics, responded with, “Love God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength.” If we break it down, what does it look like to love God with all of our heart? Our heart is not just critical to our health; it’s also the epicenter of our spiritual life. It’s central to our thoughts and actions, where we spend money, and even the words that come out of our mouths. When Jesus talks about loving God with all our heart, he’s referencing our emotions and decisions.  In order for us to love God with all of our hearts, we have to prioritize spending time with him and in his word. When we spend time with God, we start wanting to do the things that are pleasing to God and we care about the things that he cares about. Having time with our creator enables us to know what he wants for our lives, and we can’t help but pursue him and the things he values and wants for our families. Let’s pray this week that our kids learn to love God with all of their hearts, beginning with prioritizing time with him and pursuing him in all that they do. Lord, teach us to show our love for you, not just with our words, but with our lifestyle. Lead [name] to prioritize time in your word and learn to pursue you in all that they do. Remind us that loving you means also loving our neighbor. Make us aware of the needs we can meet around us. God’s word speaks: 1 John 4:7–8; 1 Corinthians 13:13; John 13:34; 1 John 4:19 Our Sponsors: * Check out Seed and use my code 25MESS for a great deal: seed.com Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a>

BONUS: Marked by Our Heart

As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. 

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org