Episode 5 – Why Are Christians So Judgemental? | Greg Jao

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Episode Summary

Why do Christians sometimes come across as so judgmental, especially toward people who believe, live, or think differently? 

Bobby McGraw sits down with Greg Jao of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship to talk about disagreement, cultural blind spots, curiosity, and what it looks like to hold real convictions without reducing people to their worst ideas.

Greg shares how his own Chinese American upbringing taught him that even sincere Christians can read the same Bible through very different cultural lenses. 

He also explains why Christians need to acknowledge where the church has caused real harm and why humility can open conversations that defensiveness shuts down. 

For anyone interested in Jesus but turned off by Christians, Greg offers a simple encouragement: keep looking, keep asking questions, and do not let someone else’s failures end your curiosity.

Key Takeaways

• Christians can read the same Bible differently because culture shapes what we notice and what we overlook.
• Curiosity helps us understand people without requiring us to abandon our convictions.
• Christians should be willing to acknowledge and apologize for real harm done by the church.
• Disagreement becomes judgmental when we stop seeing the other person as a whole human being.
• If judgmental Christians have made faith difficult to explore, keep looking at Jesus and keep asking questions.

Chapter Markers

00:00 - Welcome to Greg Jao

01:26 - Choosing a Different Path Than His Family Expected

04:05 - The Weight of Disappointing Your Parents

07:30 - What Does It Mean to Hear God?

09:03 - What Does Calling Actually Mean?

10:47 - When Christians Give Opposite Biblical Advice

13:02 - How Culture Shapes the Way We Read the Bible

14:52 - Feeling Judged by Both Sides

16:47 - Compassion as an Antidote to Judgment

19:11 - Why Curiosity Changes the Conversation

20:42 - How Jesus Treated People He Disagreed With

22:03 - Are Christians Really That Judgmental?

23:35 - Owning the Church’s Baggage

26:20 - Apologizing Without Abandoning Conviction

28:03 - What Moses and Daniel Teach About Responsibility

30:21 - How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable

33:28 - When Christians Become a Barrier to Faith

35:53 - What Greg Would Tell His Younger Self

38:08 - Finding a Community Where You Can Explore Faith

40:04 - Conviction vs. Judgment

42:14 - What If Christians Wept Instead of Shouted?

43:44 - Follow Your Curiosity

Links and Mentions

• InterVarsity Christian Fellowship - Greg’s ministry serving students on college and university campuses. Greg recommends it as a place where believers, doubters, and people exploring Christianity can ask questions together.
• The Navigators - Mentioned as another campus ministry students can explore.
• Cru - Mentioned as another campus ministry for students exploring or growing in faith.
• University of Chicago - Greg attended the University of Chicago, where his own questions about calling, family expectations, and faith began to take shape.
• Frederick Buechner - Referenced in Greg’s discussion of calling and the connection between deep joy and the needs of the world.

Listen to the full episode of You Asked, Let’s Talk, follow the podcast, and share this conversation with someone who is interested in Jesus but has struggled with the way Christians treat people who disagree with them.