Real Marriage. Real Struggles. Real Conversations.Marriage isn&#39;t always easy—and neither is life.We&#39;re TJ and Kristen, a married couple having honest conversations about the things couples and families actually face: communication breakdowns, conflict, intimacy, money, mental health, faith, family pressures, changing roles, and those seasons when you love each other but don&#39;t always know how to reach each other.We don&#39;t have a perfect marriage, and we&#39;re not here to pretend that we do.We bring our experiences, our mistakes, our faith, and what we&#39;ve learned through counseling, mentoring, and walking alongside others into conversations designed to help you strengthen your relationships and know that you&#39;re not alone in the struggles you face.Some episodes will challenge you. Some will encourage you. Some will make you laugh. And every once in a while, we may even take relationship advice from a 5-year-old.Whether your relationship is thriving, struggling, or simply ready to grow, pull up a chair and join the conversation.Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen — Where Grace Meets Growth.

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When your spouse is struggling, your first instinct may be to jump in and help. But when does helping cross the line into taking over?TJ &amp; Kristen talk about the difference between supporting your spouse and trying to manage, fix, or solve everything for them.Sometimes love means stepping in. Other times, it means listening, encouraging, and giving your spouse the space to work through something themselves.How do you know which one your spouse actually needs?In this episode, we explore how couples can support one another without unintentionally creating frustration, dependence, or resentment—and why sometimes the most loving question you can ask is simply, “What do you need from me right now?”Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen — Where Grace Meets Growth.

Helping Your Spouse Without Trying to Fix Everything

When your spouse is struggling, should you step in—or step back? TJ &amp; Kristen talk about the difference between supporting your spouse and taking over, why our attempts to help can sometimes create frustration, and how asking “What do you need from me right now?” can change the conversation.
Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen — Where Grace Meets Growth.

How to Support Your Spouse Without Taking Over | Episode 18

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Caring for your spouse is part of marriage—but what happens when caring slowly turns into caregiving, and you stop feeling like husband and wife?TJ &amp; Kristen have an honest conversation about the seasons when illness, anxiety, depression, job loss, aging, or other challenges can shift the balance of a marriage.How do you support the person you love without losing friendship, romance, intimacy, and partnership along the way?If you&#39;ve ever felt more like your spouse&#39;s caregiver, manager, or problem-solver than their partner, this conversation is for you.Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen — Where Grace Meets Growth.

When Caring for Your Spouse Changes Your Marriage

Caring for your spouse is part of marriage—but what happens when caring slowly turns into caregiving, and you begin to feel more like a caregiver than a husband or wife? TJ &amp; Kristen explore how couples can navigate seasons of illness, limitations, or increased needs while protecting the connection, intimacy, and partnership that make a marriage more than just taking care of each other.

When Your Spouse Starts Feeling More Like Your Patient | Episode 17

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Have you ever tried really hard to show your spouse you love them—only to discover they still don&#39;t feel loved?Sometimes the problem isn&#39;t how much we love someone. It&#39;s how we&#39;re communicating that love.TJ &amp; Kristen explore the Five Love Languages and what happens when we give love the way WE want to receive it instead of learning how our spouse experiences it.Words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, and gifts can all communicate love differently. Understanding those differences can help us stop missing each other and start connecting in ways our spouse actually recognizes.The bigger question isn&#39;t simply, “Do I love my spouse?” It&#39;s “Does my spouse feel loved by me?”Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen — Where Grace Meets Growth.

Are You Loving Your Spouse in a Way They Can Actually Feel?

You can deeply love your spouse and still leave them feeling unseen. TJ &amp; Kristen explore the Five Love Languages, why couples can miss each other even when they&#39;re trying, and how understanding the way your spouse receives love can strengthen your connection.
Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen — Where Grace Meets Growth.

Why Your Spouse May Not Feel Loved—Even When You're Trying | Episode 16

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Remember when being together was actually fun?Somewhere between work, bills, kids, responsibilities, appointments, and everyday stress, marriage can slowly become more about managing life than enjoying it together.TJ &amp; Kristen talk about why adults still need play, laughter, spontaneity, and fun—and why those things aren&#39;t childish or unimportant. They can be an important part of staying connected.If your relationship has started feeling like an endless list of responsibilities, maybe you don&#39;t need another serious conversation. Maybe you need to have some fun together again.Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen — Where Grace Meets Growth.

Why Laughter, Play & Having Fun Together Still Matter

Has your marriage become more about responsibilities than actually enjoying each other? TJ &amp; Kristen talk about why adults need play, laughter, and fun—and how intentionally enjoying life together can help couples reconnect.
Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen — Where Grace Meets Growth.

When Did Marriage Stop Being Fun? How to Bring the Fun Back | Episode 15

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He&#39;s back!Sometimes adults make relationships incredibly complicated. So TJ &amp; Kristen decided to get another perspective—from a 5-year-old.What does a child think makes relationships work? What should adults do differently? And what happens when you ask a five-year-old questions about love, relationships, and life?His answers may make you laugh, surprise you, and perhaps even remind you that some of the most important things about relationships don&#39;t have to be complicated.Join us for a lighter Wholehearted conversation filled with laughs, unexpected wisdom, and relationship advice from one of our youngest guests.Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen — Where Grace Meets Growth.

Sometimes the Simplest Relationship Advice Comes From a 5-Year-Old

He&#39;s back! TJ &amp; Kristen once again turn to a 5-year-old for his take on relationships, love, and life. His answers are funny, surprisingly insightful, and a reminder that adults sometimes make relationships more complicated than they need to be.
Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen — Where Grace Meets Growth.

We Asked a 5-Year-Old for Relationship Advice…Again! | Episode 14

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Have you ever left a great conversation, conference, or breakthrough determined that things were going to change—only to find yourself slipping back into the same old habits?Real relationship growth isn&#39;t about one emotional moment. It&#39;s about what happens after the excitement wears off.TJ &amp; Kristen revisit lessons from their Couples Conference and talk about how to keep the momentum going when everyday life takes over again.How do you turn good intentions into lasting habits? How do you keep choosing your relationship when motivation fades?Getting started matters. But lasting change comes from what you keep doing next.Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen — Where Grace Meets Growth.

How to Keep Growing After the Motivation Wears Off

Relationship breakthroughs can feel powerful—but what happens when the excitement wears off? TJ &amp; Kristen talk about turning good intentions into lasting habits and continuing to grow together when everyday life returns.
Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen — Where Grace Meets Growth.

Don't Let the Change Fade: Making Relationship Growth Actually Stick | Episode 13

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This Episode is going to ask the question What are you Really Fighting About?

Episode 12: Dreams With Conflict

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Money doesn’t have to be a marriage minefield. In this episode, TJ &amp; Kristen share simple, real-life tools to stop money fights and start working together financially.

Episode 11: How to Avoid Money Fights in Your Marriage

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Introvert vs. Extrovert: Loving Each Other Without Burning Out﻿Different energy needs don’t mean you’re doing marriage wrong. TJ and Kristen unpack how introverts and extroverts recharge, why it causes tension, and how couples can build daily and weekly rhythms that protect both connection and rest. Honest laughs, biblical wisdom, and simple practices you can actually use.

Episode 10: Introvert vs Extrovert

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Starting over isn’t failure—it’s courage. In this episode of Wholehearted, TJ &amp; Kristen sit down with a guest couple who are living proof that love can be rebuilt. Through real-world experience, they share what it takes to build a healthy second or third marriage—healing from the past, rebuilding trust, and choosing to move forward with honesty and hope.

Episode 9: Finding Love Again

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Us vs. the calendar - how we choose margin together in a full life. This is about unity and peace, not performance or legalism.

Episode 8: Us vs. the Calendar

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Today, we’re doing something a little different—and a lot of fun. We’re flipping the script and getting parenting advice from someone who really knows what kids want… a 5-year-old!

Episode 7: Parenting Advice from a 5-Year-Old

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Depression and anxiety don’t just affect one spouse—they affect the marriage.  •  Many Christian couples feel shame, believing faith should “fix” mental health.  •  The supporting spouse often feels helpless, lonely, or guilty.  •  This episode gives permission to be faithful without pretending everything is fine.

Episode 6: Loving Your Spouse Through Depression or Anxiety

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In relationships, one of the biggest sources of frustration isn’t the “big” issues — it’s the unspoken expectations we quietly carry. Many people hope their partner will just know what they need:

Episode 5: Why Healthy Relationships Need Words, Not Guesswork

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<blockquote>Navigating In-Laws &amp; Family Dynamics During the Holidays</blockquote><ul><li>Why family expectations can create stress.</li><li>Practical boundaries: “How to say yes without saying yes to everything.”</li><li>Unified front as a couple—presenting decisions together.</li><li>Tips for handling traditions and compromises gracefully.</li></ul>

Episode 4: Navigating In-Laws & Family Dynamics During the Holidays

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Welcome to Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen! Today’s episode is for anyone feeling weary or wondering if their faith is enough. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28, ‘Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.’ If that’s you today, this conversation is for you.

Episode 3: Faith When It Feels Hard

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Welcome to Wholehearted with TJ &amp; Kristen! Today we’re diving into a topic that touches every relationship—Communication &amp; Grace. We all know words can heal or hurt, and the Bible reminds us in Ephesians 4:29 to ‘let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification.’ So how do we actually do that in real life?

Season 1 - EP - 2

Episode 2 - Communication & Grace

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After 30+ years together, TJ &amp; Kristen share the real story behind their journey—what worked, what didn’t, and why they believe wholehearted living changes everything. As a LPC, SYMBIS facilitators, and Certified Marriage Mentors, they bring practical wisdom and authentic vulnerability to the table. Discover how faith became their framework for safety, growth, and forgiveness—and why it might be the missing piece in your own relationships.If you’ve ever wondered how to build a marriage that lasts, this is where it begins.

Episode 1: Our Story & Why WHOLEHEARTED

Real Marriage. Real Struggles. Real Conversations.

Real marriage. Real struggles. Real conversations.
Join TJ & Kristen for honest conversations about marriage, relationships, communication, conflict, mental health, faith, family, and the challenges couples face in real life.
We don't have a perfect marriage, and we're not here to pretend we do. We're sharing our experiences, mistakes, faith, and lessons we've learned along the way to help couples grow stronger and remind you that you're not alone.
Wholehearted with TJ & Kristen — Where Grace Meets Growth.