• Ep22: We Wish You a Married Christmas

    Becca and Robby have been married for 13 years, but they fear the love has died as their careers have taken over. Their therapist sends them on a trip to Gracious, Vermont to reconnect. Will they be able to rekindle their love before the trip is over? If she has the grace of Marisol Nichols and he has the charisma of Kris Polaha, I'd say the odds are in their favor.

    I liked the movie, but struggled with a few questions such as:

    • How could anyone ever want to break up with supreme daddy Kris Polaha?
    • Was this movie sponsored by Safelite to show us how long it takes other companies to replace a windshield?
    • Will I ever recover from the trauma inflicted upon me by drinks with candy cane rims?
    • Why was my friend's dog doppelganger in this movie?
    • Who am I bumping off my top five hunk list to add Kris Polaha?

    Also, make sure to listen to the end to hear a very special piece of audio from my number one Hallmark hunk himself, Paul Greene.

    18m | Oct 31, 2022
  • Ep21: Noel Next Door

    We're back! Or should I say, I'm back! I'm reviving the podcast this holiday season because I love these movies, and I want to talk about them!

    Noel is a beautiful divorcee with a tween son. She falls for a charming hunk named Jeremy. But she doesn't know that he is also the grumpy scrooge down the street who has been feuding with her son for weeks. And he doesn't know that she is the mother of the brat who has been making his already joyless life even more miserable. Will their love survive after the truth is revealed??

    In my first solo-cast, I tell you my thoughts on "Noel Next Door," the first Hallmark Christmas movie of the season. I enjoyed it even though it's a little darker than a normal rom-com. Listen to find out who won the Oscar for this movie, what I liked and didn't like, who I would have played, and what I think happens one year later.

    11m | Oct 31, 2022
  • Ep20: The Baker's Son

    Matt, a son-of-a-baker, is also a baker himself, but his bread is only delicious when he's in love. After Nicole, a visiting ballerina, drops him like a hot cross bun, his sub-par bread threatens to ruin the town's tourism industry. Will he realize he's actually in love with his best friend, Annie, before she leaves to pursue her artistic dreams in Paris? If he's as smoking hot as Brant Dougherty and she has the sass of Eloise Mumford (as well as scores of pastel sweater sets), you can bet that their love will save his bread and the town.

    Sadly, this is a Mary-less episode, but Charlie is joined by his good friend, Leah, to discuss "The Baker's Son." We both found it funny and cute, but a touch too long. Some musings:

    • Who was the one who decided to BLUR Brant's shirtless torso? Listen, we just want to talk.
    • How many pastel sweater sets can one girl own?
    • Who choreographed the ballet? Again, we just want to talk.
    • Can we have a sequel that is just about the "cousins"?
    • How many months was this woman pregnant?
    • Who styled homegirl's hair? Like before, we just want to talk.
    • Where can Charlie apply to be a gay butler for a billionairess?
    • Do childhood best friends continue doing fancy handshakes with each other as adults?
    • What exactly was Annie doing to that painting every day on the dock?
    • Speaking of, was Mr. Choreographer trying to do more than just look at Annie's paintings?
    • Did Noel Khan date any of the Pretty Little Liars?

    Plus, a One Year Later for each and every character. Listen to the end for a bonus rant about the dancing.

    25m | Aug 14, 2021
  • Ep19: You Had Me at Aloha

    After a long hiatus, we are back with an unreleased episode from the archives. Paige went viral for getting attacked by goats. Ben jumps off cliffs for fun and profit. When these two opposites are forced to host a travel show together, will they realize that each of them has what the other one needs? If he's got the charm of Kavan Smith and she has the beauty of Pascale Hutton, you know they will!

    Charlie and Mary are joined by three Hallmark noobs, Joe, Megan, and Jon, to discuss "You Had Me at Aloha." While we all enjoyed it (and the drinking game we played), we also left the film with some questions:

    • Is the line-less camera girl actually the most important character?
    • How does Pascale's hair stay so flawless in the humidity and the ocean activities?
    • Does Kavan wear a speedo?
    • What is up with these accents!?
    • And is he cute enough to be a Hallmark leading man?
    • When does the sun go down in Hawaii?
    • Would you go to second dinner if a hot (or ugly) person invited you?
    • Why was the lady pulling the camera guy by the shirt as he walked backwards?
    • What's going to happen with Luis and Millie?
    • Should we leave the concrete jungle of Aspen and move to the Aloha state?

    Plus, we have a sweet One Year Later, some Hallmark conspiracy theories, and, as usual, we each were assigned a character. Make sure to listen to the end to hear Joe demonstrate the "fluctuations" of the actors' Canadian accents.

    30m | Aug 13, 2021
  • Ep18: Sweet Carolina

    When a high-powered New York businesswoman, played by the omnipotent Lacey Chabert, becomes the legal guardian of her niece and nephew in North Carolina, will she leave her big city life behind to raise them? Well, if their basketball coach is the smoking hot Tyler Hynes, the answer is a slam dunk.

    Mary and Charlie were a little split on the movie, but they both had questions.

    • Does a toaster really blacken bread so much that it smokes?
    • Does Delilah look like dirndl woman from Winter in Vail?
    • Why is Charlie mansplaining bagel mode?
    • How come she packs a sheet? How come?
    • Why was Lacey simultaneously straightening her hair, blow-drying it, and using a Waterpik at 4 am?
    • Did homeboy really need to dump a whole bag of flour on her head?
    • Where did dad get his cardigans?
    • Did ex-boyfriend have to be so savage?
    • How awkward is it that her brother played her boyfriend in another move?

    Also, weigh in on Instagram on which Juilliard grads are richer and listen to Mary's final rant about When Calls the Heart.

    28m | Jun 10, 2021
  • Ep17: Baby, It's Cold Inside

    When a pretty travel agent who once flooded an entire hotel meets a tall owner of an ice hotel, will she make his heart melt?

    You know she will, even after causing gaffe after gaffe that could jeopardize the hotel's reputation! At least she didn't flood it, though!

    While this movie wasn't one of our favorites, it did have a lot of fun moments and some great performances. We have many questions though:

    • Why are we getting a new winter movie in May when we also got spring movies in February?
    • Is Phoebe the worst bff ever?
    • Why did Sean dump her and then want her back?
    • Where do you curl your hair when staying at an ice hotel?
    • What exactly was the end product of the glass-making class?
    • Does Hallmark owe us cupcakes?
    • How many months until Hannah melts and floods the Finland ice hotel?
    • Why didn't Bridget get a man?

    Plus, you don't want to miss Mary's rant about the season eight finale of When Calls The Heart so listen to the end to hear that.

    43m | May 18, 2021
  • Ep16: Hearts Down Under

    When a fancy New York chef inherits a diner in Australia, will the handsome cook be able to convince her to stay down under? If she's got the breezy charisma of Cindy Busby and he has the sparkling eyes of Tim Ross, she just might put another shrimp on the barbie.

    Mary and Charlie both liked "Hearts Down Under." More than most Hallmark movies, this one left us with questions:

    • How are they going to make this long-long-distance relationship work? Where was our three month later?
    • Are the patrons of the restaurant going to have to eat those contaminated corn flakes?
    • What does Caroline have against poor Tiny?
    • Is it smart to trust Marla after she purposely broke her workplace's electrical system?
    • Does Cindy Busby require that her leading men always have a shirtless scene?
    • How and when did homegirl get that amazing booty?
    • Where is Hallmark hiding Merritt and Julie and Bethany Joy?
    • Does anyone enjoy splashing?

    Plus, we cast ourselves in plum roles, award an Oscar to an unsung hero of the film, and Mary tells us about a fascinating Hallmark classic that she saw on the mysterious channel, UpTV.

    28m | Apr 28, 2021
  • Ep15: Right in Front of Me

    When you end up at a wedding with your hunky college crush, can a good-looking chef redirect your interest with fusion cuisine? If you've got the sassy and sweet personality of Janel Parrish and he's got the abs and charm of Marco Grazzini, the way to a woman's heart just might be through her stomach.

    Mary and Charlie enjoyed this fashion and food-filled romp. As usual, we have a few questions:

    • Seriously, who is getting the earrings and where can Mary find them?
    • Why did she choose such a severe black look to wear to a spring wedding?
    • Did they really need to hide Marco's abs?
    • Who did Jason Cermak cross at Hallmark? He deserves more!
    • Couldn't they have picked a different memento than the food she's allergic to?
    • Has Janel finally transcended the "Mona" stigma?
    • Did Chef Nick set the world record in empanada-making speed?
    • Do wedding stylists really exist?!

    Plus, find out which of the many daddies of this movie won the T4H Oscar! And listen to the end for a signature Mary rant about When Calls the Heart.

    41m | Apr 22, 2021
  • Ep14: As Luck Would Have It

    When your job sends you to Ireland to buy a castle so they can tear it down and build a hotel, how likely is it that you will find love with the man who most wants to keep the castle standing? If you've got the charm and gorgeous wavy hair of Joanna Garcia Swisher and he's got the smoldering blue eyes and confidence of Alan Leech, let's say luck is on your side.

    Join Charlie and Mary to discuss "As Luck Would Have It," which we agreed is one of the best Hallmark movies ever. From the beautiful scenery to the sizzling chemistry to the fun activities, this movie had it all! Nevertheless, we have a few questions:

    • What is gay football?
    • Can we start our own matchmaking festival here in Aspen?
    • Where did they get the aprons?
    • Can we get another movie about maple syrup (it's been almost six months!)?
    • Why does Charlie's dog like Mary more??

    Plus learn the foolproof way to find out if someone likes you! Please follow us on TikTok @thirstyforhallmark to see our series of "Lessons I learned from real Hallmark movies."

    31m | Apr 13, 2021
  • Ep13: One Perfect Wedding

    They had "One Winter Weekend" and "One Winter Proposal," but, with chaos surrounding them, can Cara and Ben make it to "I do"? And can Megan and Sean make it to "she said yes"? If the title is any clue, we can be reasonably sure all will end well.

    Join Mary and Charlie to discuss "One Perfect Wedding," the third installment of this series about two sets of best friends who fall in love with each other in a romantic ski chalet.

    Though the characters were familiar, the movie was a little funky. It left us with questions. For example:

    • How did anyone keep the myriad of stories straight?
    • Where is the ponytail helmet that was conceived in the first movie and produced in the second?
    • What happened to the sexy sauna shirtless scenes from the first two movies?
    • How much was the earring budget for this film?
    • Who, in Canada, let homegirl call it a nikoise salad?
    • Why didn't they have Sean come to the wedding and proposed in person?

    Listen to the end to hear Mary's thoughts on the current state of When Calls the Heart, and vote on Instagram for who you think deserves the Oscar this week: Goldie or Daniel.

    37m | Apr 7, 2021
  • Ep12: Don't Go Breaking My Heart

    Where do broken hearts go? To Miranda's Breakup Boot Camp, of course! But when a hunky but cynical journalist stumbles in looking for a scoop, will he find himself hot for teacher? If teacher is the gorgeous Italia Ricci and he is dreamy Ryan Paevey, they just might have to throw ethics to the wind and take a ride up to Makeout Point.

    Mary and Charlie loved this movie, but we still have some questions:

    • Who did the amazing score/soundtrack?
    • Is Bink really a name?
    • Why won't Miranda hire someone who is actually qualified?
    • Since when is Portland so spotless?
    • How come no one touched the chocolate-covered strawberries?
    • Can everyone stop with escape rooms?
    • Did Romy and Michele inspire one of the scenes?

    And if you listen to the very end, you'll learn a new dating rule that could help you find your own Hallmark love story.

    39m | Apr 2, 2021
  • Ep11: Chasing Waterfalls

    When your boss sends you to take photos of a secret waterfall, can you get the hunky tour guide to give up the location...and his heart? If you've got the quirky humor of Cindy Busby and he's got the chiseled face and bod of Christopher Russell, all you need to do is point and click.

    Join Mary Alexander and Charlie to discuss "Chasing Waterfalls," the first of the Hallmark Channel's Spring Fling series.

    Topics include:

    • The main reason why this movie is a must-see.
    • The dangerously wrong bear advice the guide gives and what you should really do if you meet a bear.
    • Is it normal or healthy to encourage children to date?
    • Are these waterfalls real and can we visit them?
    • Free dating advice from Charlie.
    • Should one be embarrassed for buying something on sale?
    • The outdoorsy Hallmark trope that needs to stop.
    • Wise sayings that are peppered throughout.
    • And why this movie is making Hallmark history!

    Plus, we share the details of our upcoming Hallmark pilgrimage! You'll never guess the final destination.

    41m | Mar 23, 2021
  • Ep10: Winter in Vail

    When his father's German restaurant is struggling to stay in business, can a beautiful event planner from LA who just inherited her strudel-making uncle's chalet save the day? If she has the charm of Lacey Chabert and he has the smokiness of Tyler Hynes, the restaurant will be back on its feet faster than you can say "Strudelfest!"

    Since there was not a new Hallmark Channel movie last weekend, Mary Alexander and Charlie took a trip to 2020 and watched a movie they missed last year, "Winter in Vail."

    We were going to watch it for fun and take a week, but we had so many questions that we decided to record. Those include:

    • Just how hard is it to make strudel?
    • Why does Chelsea think it's ok to drive on pedestrian streets?
    • Do businesses in Vail really struggle to make money in the winter?
    • When is the next Strudelfest and can we have free tickets?
    • Are we the only ones who don't like mustard yellow walls?
    • Is the hunky star of this film in love with us??
    • Did Hallmark find an actress who is also a chocolatier?
    • Where do we get Irish cream marshmallows? Do they even exist irl?

    Plus find out who wins the Oscar, which (very minor) characters we would play, and consider Charlie's theory on Lacey Chabert and strudel. It's pretty...fetch.

    35m | Mar 17, 2021
  • Ep9: Fit for a Prince

    When a crown prince falls in love with a common seamstress, can a toppled chocolate fountain thwart their romance?

    Join Mary and Charlie to discuss Hallmark's latest film, "Fit for a Prince." Our favorite Hallmark princess, Natalie Hall, delivered flawless hair while our hunk, Jonathan Keltz, fooled us with his perfect British accent.

    But this brokedown Cinderella adaptation left us with some questions:

    • Is Philadelphia one of the high fashion capitals of the world?
    • How did the extra in the red dress get away with stealing the spotlight?
    • Which is easier: getting out a chocolate stain or designing and making a new dress?
    • Was this movie inspired by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle?
    • Why the funky chicken? Why?
    • How come the "fairy godmother" didn't help Cinderella?
    • What the heck was this tennis ball game?
    • Why don't seamstresses care about money?

    Plus we have some listener corrections and confirmations. Please DM us on Instagram (@thirstyforhallmark) if we get something wrong or just to say hi.

    40m | Mar 10, 2021
  • Ep8: It Was Always You

    All's fair in love and war, even if you find yourself in love with your fiancé's brother! Hey, the heart wants what it wants. And this heart... wants a hunk!

    This week, Mary and Charlie are debating the ethical dilemma that is "It Was Always You," the latest Hallmark Channel movie starring Erin Krakow (aka Elizabeth Thatcher) and certified hottie, Tyler Hynes.

    Notable topics include:

    • What is up with this draconian oyster bar?
    • Has Hallmark been listening to our podcast?
    • Did Elizabeth get her travel inspo from Lizzie Maguire?
    • Why is the sister trying to be a poor man's Monet?
    • Who made our leading lady look like a tablecloth?
    • Can we get to the bottom of ferry-gate?
    • Why was this family trying to force this forbidden love?
    • At what age should one have heard of the Colosseum in Rome?

    Plus, hear about the new online interactions we had with Hallmark stars last week.

    24m | Mar 1, 2021
  • Ep7: Mix Up in the Mediterranean

    When you meet the woman of your dreams while pretending to be your gay twin brother...well, that's a recipe for disaster. And let me tell you, it's delicious.

    Join Mary and Charlie to discuss the "Mix Up in the Mediterranean," Hallmark's latest story of brotherhood, love, hijinks, and deception.

    We ponder the big questions, including:

    • Should we adopt Meg's two-month rule?
    • What happened to Jeremy Jordan's sideburns in Smash?
    • Why is one character carrying around a juicy dumptruck?
    • Do cooking competitions usually make contestants wear house arrest ankle bracelets?
    • What should we keep in the front pocket of our suitcase?
    • Are hamburger buns an appropriate food to make from scratch at 11 PM?
    • Are Jessica Lowndes eyes real?
    • What made us feel seen in this movie (no, it's not the gay people)?

    And Charlie and Mary each have new Hallmark-related hobbies. Can you guess what they are?

    36m | Feb 21, 2021
  • Ep6: Playing Cupid

    He's hot for teacher and she's hot for daddy, but will it take a nudge from a tween to set this romance aflame?

    In this longer-than-ever episode, Mary Alexander and Charlie discuss the latest Hallmark romcom, Playing Cupid.

    We ponder such questions as:

    • -Should eighth graders need to purchase a domain name for an individual class project?
    • Is it safe to lip-sync in a commercial kitchen?
    • Can a non-professional assemble a burrito properly?
    • Do middle school achievements help you get into college?
    • How much contour should one apply before a speed-walking session?
    • If a hunk is too hot irl, does Hallmark try to make him less hot for believability's sake?

    Plus, we finally muster up the courage to DM not one, but two Hallmark stars. Listen to find out who!

    44m | Feb 16, 2021
  • Ep5: The Sweetest Heart (Valentine's Bonus)

    Happy Hallmark Day..aka Valentine's Day! Who needs flowers or chocolate when we've brought you a bonus episode featuring our favorite Hallmark movie: The Sweetest Heart, starring Queen Julie Gonzalo.

    When your cupcake cafe is struggling to stay afloat with no customers and a broken oven, the only way to save it, of course, is to expand to a space twice the size. But what if your hunky high school boyfriend returns to town (and he's a doctor!) to teach a once-a-week class about heart surgery bedside manner? Let's just say the cappuccino machine isn't the only one getting hot and steamy in this story!

    But we have questions:

    How many cupcakes is the investor woman planning to eat?

    Exactly who is Charlie the PA (not Charlie the host) thirsty for?

    Can someone become a heart surgery lecturer by the age of 30?

    Do you have to tell an investor about your business loans?

    How long is too long to be upset that someone you went to high school with but didn't really know doesn't remember you?

    Why is town hall always in trouble?

    Where do we get some of these amazing-sounding cupcakes (wait until you hear the flavors)?

    Also, find out who gets the Oscar...you might be surprised! See who we would be in this movie (Mary let us have two characters each). And we reenact our favorite Julie Gonzalo moment.

    This movie came out in 2018, but it airs frequently on the Hallmark Channel. Make sure to set your dvr for the next airing.

    33m | Feb 14, 2021
  • Ep4: Beverly Hills Wedding

    When your sister is marrying the brother of the man who dumped you after seven years to go sailing in North Carolina, can their Valentine's Day wedding bring you back together? If you have the gorgeous hair and spunky personality of Brooke D'Orsay and he has the swimming pool eyes and hunky bod of Brendan Penny, all signs point to yes!

    Mary Alexander and Charlie are joined by their very own spunky friend, Darian, to discuss Beverly Hills Wedding, the Hallmark Channel's first "Love Ever After" movie.

    In this episode, you will:

    Find out why a free and luxurious wedding in Beverly Hills is more of a curse than a blessing.

    Learn which minor character deserves her own movie.

    Understand why blueberries are so expensive.

    Ponder why Jordan, the groom, doesn't want his photo on social media.

    Hear Charlie's formal complaint against Mary and Darian.

    And travel a year into the future to see what comes next for our attractive couple.

    We also answer a few listener questions about the authenticity of our podcast. If you have a question, DM us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thirstyforhallmark/

    24m | Feb 7, 2021
  • Ep3: Snowkissed

    Only one thing can melt the icy exterior of a native New Yorker...a hot Canadian! Prepare your bougiest charcuterie board and join Mary Alexander and Charlie to analyze the latest Hallmark Channel movie: Snowkissed. Because sometimes a wrong answer is exactly right.

    Find out why Mary is filing a formal complaint against Charlie (rude). See which of our beloved characters has a shocking revelation in our own "one year later" (mm hmmm). And can you guess which Hallmark trope we think really needs to stop (hello!)?

    We name each of our five favorite Hallmark hunks (drool)! You might need a cold shower after this one.

    31m | Feb 1, 2021
Thirsty for Hallmark