• 22. The Charisma Quotient Unleashed: Unveiling Confidence with Kimmy Seltzer

    Confidence is just one word: experience.

    In this engaging episode of the upcoach podcast, host Todd Herman welcomes Kimmy Seltzer, a renowned confidence and dating coach, and an ex-therapist turned into a transformative guide for those venturing back into the dating scene. Kimmy, with her rich background in therapy and a unique outside-in approach to confidence and dating, shares her profound insights and heartwarming success stories that not only entertain but also inspire.

    Kimmy delves into the importance of appearance and body language as the quickest gateway to internal confidence. She introduces listeners to her Charisma Quotient formula, emphasizing "style intelligence" as a foundational step towards building confidence. This innovative approach advocates for a symbiotic relationship between one's outer presentation and inner self-esteem, challenging traditional therapy methods by prioritizing action and experiential learning over analysis.

    The episode illuminates Kimmy's personal journey from a therapist to a coach, highlighting her transformative moment with a simple red dress that sparked her mission to help others find confidence and love from the outside in. She shares captivating stories from her coaching experiences, including powerful transformations achieved through wardrobe changes, flirt workshops, and the strategic gamification of dating skills.

    Kimmy's work stands out for its focus on practical, tactical advice and the creation of real-world experiences that lead to genuine self-discovery and growth. She champions the idea that confidence is a skill that can be developed through practice and experience, offering hope and actionable strategies to those feeling lost in the dating world. Explore the possibilities that open up when you begin to align your external presence with your internal desires.

    Episode Quotes:

    What is confidence?

    I define confidence differently than a lot of people. In my workshop, I'll say, "Well, how do you define confidence?" And I have a list of all these things that people embody and say, "Oh, as someone who stands straight and someone who walks tall," or whatever it is. But at the end of the day, confidence is just one word and that's “experience”. End of story. It is. Like, I don't believe there's one person out there that's not confident. It's just that they, A, haven't had positive exposure to it, right? Or they haven't had experience around it at all. And so how do you get it? You do it. And I mean, I make it sound so simple, but in all my programs, I'm gamifying all my skills constantly. Like instead of saying, "Oh, just go out and flirt." It's like, well, let's just start with making eye contact with three guys a day for two weeks. It's like the gym, right? Like just go do it and repeat. And then once you get more confidence than that, then add a smile. 

    Kimmy's coaching approach focused on the outside in

    When I started realizing how we look on the outside also affects the inside and there's a symbiotic relationship between the outer and inner when it comes to confidence. And so now I actually teach people how to gain confidence from the outside in order to attract love. And I start with what I call “style intelligence”, meaning we move through life, how we market ourselves through our wardrobe, our presentation, our first impressions, our body language, that is like the quickest gateway into someone's internal confidence. And so then I work on the inside and I work on emotional intelligence. And then the third pillar is social intelligence, which is interpersonal communication. And yes, that includes flirting. 

    The critical role of non-attachment to outcomes in flirting

    We all get attracted to playfulness. I always in my workshop define what flirting is. It's fascinating. It's to behave as though you are attracted to someone without the serious intention of an outcome. That last part, not getting attached to the outcome, is huge because everyone doesn't flirt because they're worried about what's next rather than what is. And it's my job to help people really be present and just worry about what is. And once they do that, once they release that, the world opens up. 

    Show Links:

    25m - Mar 11, 2024
  • 21. Beyond Platitudes: Coaching for Real Transformation with Alisa Cohn

    Should you have more of a delicate touch when you're working with high performers and top achievers while you're coaching and mentoring them? And do platitudes have any place in our coaching and mentoring work that we do with clients? In this insightful episode of the upcoach podcast, host Todd Herman delves into the nuances of coaching high performers with the acclaimed executive coach, Alisa Cohn. 

    Named the world's top startup coach, Alisa brings her extensive experience working with leaders from successful startups like Venmo and Etsy, as well as giants like Google and Microsoft. The conversation covers the delicate balance required when guiding top achievers, the role of platitudes in coaching, and the transformative power of mantras in initial client interactions.

    Alisa, also a celebrated author of "From Start-up to Grown-up," winner of the 2022 Independent Press Award and the 2023 Best Book Award for Entrepreneurship, shares her journey from the corporate world to becoming a globally recognized coach. She discusses her approach to addressing complex people issues and her mantra of adding value in just 20 minutes. With insights from her work with diverse leaders, including the first female minister of Afghanistan and the former Chief Justice of Sri Lanka, Alisa's wisdom is invaluable for anyone in the coaching or leadership field. This episode is a must-listen for coaches, entrepreneurs, and anyone interested in the art of effective leadership and coaching.

    Episode Quotes:

    The importance of avoiding platitudes in coaching and mentoring

    So to me, so many coaches and people who do what we do express themselves in platitudes like, “Oh, my wise thing I'm going to say, “You've got to plan the work so you can work the plan or whatever.” And the problem with that is it just completely negates what it actually takes. The nuanced, difficult step by step work of change that it actually takes for the people I work with, startup founders and other senior executives. And I would just say they've already done the easy things. They've already done the medium things, the hard things really take that inner delicate inner work of understanding what's in the way and using tactics and frameworks to get there, not just overarching platitudes that I think some people write about and talk to their clients about.

    The delicate work of coaching

    I think that you need to have a delicate touch often to be effective with people. So when I'm interacting with my clients what you might see is an arrogant startup founder. What I see in the sanctity of the coaching room is someone who has topics that we both care a lot about imposter syndrome or somebody who has a confusion about what to do. And if you push them too hard, they shut down or they overcorrect. So the delicacy has to do with, first of all, my relationship with them, my interpersonal skills with them. And second of all, how can they sort of calibrate their style without losing who they are? And that is the delicate work of coaching.

    The role of financial background in entrepreneurial space 

    I would say understanding the finances, but also understanding what it takes to run a business. So young entrepreneurs, when I first meet them, I'm like, “Well, how's the business doing?” “Oh, it's great. It's up and to the right.”  Okay. But how do you know it shouldn't be more up and more to the right? What goals and benchmarks? What did you predict was going to happen? How are you kind of finessing or continuing to perfect your system and be able to forecast what's going to happen? What experiments are you running? How are you scoring those experiments? So, you know, the analytics and the metrics, whether or not they're financial, I think that's where I think my expertise comes into play as well to help people understand how they need to structure themselves as they're building something which is kind of careening out of control.

    The power of a mantra: Add value in 20 minutes

    The one thing I want to share is that I created my mantra, which is “Add value in 20 minutes.” And when I'm meeting with a prospect, also with clients, with anybody, I always have it in my head. I'm here to add value. How can I add value to this person in 20 minutes? And that shows up in a lot of ways. Sometimes it's asking questions that nobody else has asked them. Sometimes it's listening and really hearing the undertones of what they're saying and then mirroring that back to them. Sometimes it's actually sharing a practical tool that they find very helpful. One way or the other, I've been successful, but I've also served my clients by having this idea in my head about how I can add value in 20 minutes.

    Show Links:

    29m - Dec 19, 2023
  • 20. Embracing Coaching Authenticity: The Journey to Owning Your Unique Style with Anne Sugar

    Welcome to the upcoach podcast, where insightful conversations with industry leaders and experts shape the landscape of personal and professional growth. In this episode, we sit down with Anne Sugar, a distinguished executive coach and speaker, renowned for her transformative work with top leaders in companies such as TripAdvisor, Sanofi Genzyme, and Havas.

    Anne's journey is a testament to the dynamic and non-linear nature of career paths. Having previously served as the Senior Vice President of Media at Digitas, overseeing a team of 75 employees and managing media planning for Fortune 500 clients, she brings a wealth of experience to her role as an executive coach. With a BA in Communications from Boston College and coaching certification from iPEC Coaching, Anne seamlessly combines her extensive management background with in-depth coaching methodology.

    In this episode, Anne shares valuable insights on the concept of the straight line versus the latticework path in one's career. She challenges the common perception of a linear trajectory and emphasizes the importance of embracing serendipity, patience, and continuous learning to become a substantive leader.

    Anne also delves into the topic of coaching authenticity, encouraging coaches to embrace their unique styles. Drawing from her own experience, she highlights the significance of owning who you are as a coach, breaking away from conventional methods, and fostering authenticity to create meaningful connections with clients.

    Join us as Anne Sugar shares her wisdom on navigating career trajectories, embracing authenticity in coaching, and refining the art of active listening. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking valuable insights into leadership, coaching, and personal development. Tune in and elevate your understanding of what it takes to be a substantive leader in today's dynamic professional landscape.

    Episode Quotes:

    Straight line vs. Latticework path

    So I think we all think that our careers are going to just go up the mountain like this, right? In this straight trajectory. But it's really not the case. It's a little bit of serendipity. And I ask a lot of people that I coach, “Well, how did you get from here to there?” And people say to me, “Oh, it's just a conversation I had, I wanted to learn something new. I was talking to a friend of mine, somebody reached out to me on LinkedIn and I wanted to kind of take this new role.”

    So it kind of is a bit circular, right? In terms of how we kind of bob and weave and a lot of consultants talk about it from a lattice perspective. So I think if we really get to the underpinnings of it, it's really about patience and learning. It's not just this kind of straight rocket ship up, but how do we allow for the patience and the learning. And that's how you become much more of a substantive leader.

    Embracing coaching authenticity

    It's really just owning who you are as a coach. What does that mean? When I went through coaching school, you had to learn how to ask a question. You went through this very linear process. My brain doesn't work that way. My brain goes to the shiny object. And sometimes it might come across as, you know, kind of swirly. And so I'd always try to live in this linear process of asking a question. But I finally decided, you know what? I'm just gonna own how my brain works. So I think part of it is just as a coach, really just owning your style. And it doesn't matter how everybody else “does” it, just own it.

    A coach's perspective on active listening and watching

    There are three things that I really look for when I'm listening. And the first one is I try really hard not to formulate my next question or a thought in my head. I try really hard to live in the moment. And I also try really hard to look at people's body language, too, just because body language never lies. 

    But now I'm going to contradict myself because I kind of love doing that. Sometimes I like to say a frown is just a frown. You as a coach. You're looking for these signals, right? And these you could have a frown that's just like a millisecond on your client's face and you think, “Oh, I just asked the wrong question or maybe I poked too hard on this.”

    Show Links:

    23m - Dec 13, 2023
  • 19. Cracking the Code of Hypergrowth: Insights from Karen Walker's Journey

    Ever wondered how executive coaching can be the secret sauce for CEOs and senior leaders to not just survive but thrive in the whirlwind of hypergrowth? Join us in this episode with the incredible Karen Walker, an esteemed executive coach and consultant renowned for her expertise in guiding CEOs and senior leaders through the challenges of hypergrowth.

    With an impressive portfolio that includes advising industry giants like Aetna, AWS, Pfizer, JPMorganChase, and BMC Software, as well as nurturing Inc. 5000 startups, Karen brings a wealth of experience to our conversation. Karen's journey is marked by significant milestones, notably her pivotal role as employee 104 at Compaq, where she contributed to transforming the company into the then-fastest growing entity in American history, propelling it from $0 to $15 billion in revenue.

    In our discussion, Karen talks about the challenges and dynamics of hypergrowth companies, emphasizing the importance of alignment with investors, a growth-oriented culture, and a high tolerance for ambiguity. Also she introduces a powerful tool — a 2x2 matrix — to simplify complex situations and facilitate strategic conversations, discussing the significance of executive presence and technical skills, highlighting the different personas within each quadrant of the matrix.

    Join us in this episode as Karen Walker shares her invaluable insights on navigating hypergrowth, leadership, and organizational development. Get ready for a conversation that promises to be both enlightening and transformative. Stay tuned!

    Episode Quotes:

    A new chapter in a book: Karen’s unexpected path into coaching and consulting

    And I had, as part of the leadership team, a big global job. It wasn't very big when I joined, but it got bigger and I loved it. I really loved that environment. And when I left at the size it was, it was just like another big company. And at least for me, it wasn't a place I wanted to spend the rest of my working life. 

    So I took some time out to figure out what I really missed. And I missed putting together high performing teams and making them clear what they're doing, why they're doing it and the stuff that gets in the way. And it's almost never the technical stuff. It is almost always people's process and tools. 

    And, you know, I'm an industrial engineer, so efficiency is sort of part of my DNA and I went back to Columbia. I did their ODHRM programs, I got the theory behind the practice that I knew. And I've been working with CEOs and senior leaders and leadership teams now for the past two decades, primarily in the tech space. I've also worked with a number of Fortune 500 companies, but I'd say my sweet spot tends to be tech.

    Elevate or stagnate: No Dumbing Down

    A team can only work at the level of the lowest performing member. And what tends to happen when we put teams together is people come in with different levels of expertise, different goals that can often be misaligned, different resources that they're able to bring to bear. And if most of the team is able to perform at this level, but you've got one team member who, for whatever reason, often not their own fault, can only perform at this level, time, resources, skill level, the team can only perform here, right? 

    Because the team by definition is only going to be successful in their interdependence, so the team has to dumb down. Well, what happens when that occurs? The team is not able to work to its true potential, right, and the organization isn't as well. And so you want a team to pay attention to how they operate, not just what they're doing, which you obviously live as well. But how they operate, how they are chartered, how do they debrief what's going on, how do they make sure that they're aligned in their goals and their ability to hold each other accountable.

    The critical pillars of hypergrowth success

    I think the first thing and part of what makes the hypergrowth company successful, we obviously have a product market fit and it's what happens after you find your product market fit. Do you have an investor who is aligned with your vision of where you want to go? 

    Because that is a huge, huge issue if there's no alignment there. Do you have a culture in your organization that is set up to continue this cycle of hypergrowth? Everybody on the team has to be signed up for the sort of effort that it takes to keep that wheel spinning. 

    The other thing that is so important for working in a hypergrowth company, you have to have a great tolerance for ambiguity and a bias for action. And those are things that are hard for people - to be able to live with the unknown. And so if you're not okay with ambiguity, you will fail. And then of course the bias fraction has to be there in any growth-oriented company.

    Navigating the interplay of executive presence and technical skills in a 2x2 matrix

    Any executive is in a situation where they are living in a complex world and simplification is often the greatest need. And so a 2x2 matrix will not solve all the world's problems, but it will give us a framework for talking about what's going on. So the two axes are executive presence and technical skills, right? And as someone who does coaching, often there's a tension between those two. 

    So if we start in the upper left-hand corner, this is someone with high executive presence but low technical skills. I call that “fake it till you make it”. But you aren’t an “empty suit”, which is what can happen if you only have executive presence, but you don't really have the skills.

    In the bottom left-hand corner, which is low executive presence and low technical skill, I call this “get to work”. You need one of these skill sets or the other, or you're not going to last in any organization.

    The bottom right-hand corner. So this is someone with high technical skills, low executive presence. And so these are people who often get coaching, because they're moving into areas where they need to have the executive presence, but they've been really successful at the company technically. 

    And the upper right-hand quadrant. I label it “the sky's the limit”. This is someone with a strong executive presence and strong technical skills. So the challenge there is to keep growing and developing, because that is someone who's truly a high-potential, high-performer in an organization.

    Show Links:

    30m - Dec 5, 2023
  • 18. Revolutionizing Health Coaching: The Power of Being Different with Justin Roethlingshoefer

    Welcome to another riveting episode of the upcoach podcast, where we dive into the dynamic world of health and wellness coaching with an extraordinary guest, Justin Roethlingshoefer, gaining insights into the analytical approach that drove him to understand the "why" behind performance. Founder of OWN IT Coaching, a multi seven-figure coaching company, Justin brings a holistic perspective to health and performance, asserting that true performance emerges when physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health are optimally integrated.

    In this episode, Justin takes us on a transformative journey, recounting his early passion for hockey and how it paved the way for his role as a leading figure in health and wellness coaching. From the pivotal moments that shaped his approach to the industry to the incorporation of data-driven strategies, Justin shares the secrets behind his success in retaining high-profile clients, including those from the NHL, NFL, and the entrepreneurial world.

    Explore the significance of differentiation in the coaching industry, as Justin shares how being "different" and emphasizing personalization has propelled OWN IT Coaching's rapid growth. Uncover the central role of client retention in their success, boasting an impressive 94% retention rate, and learn how focusing on existing clients has become a cornerstone of their business model.

    Episode Quotes:

    Breaking the mold: Justin’s discovery of a new path to health and energy

    I started to realize, “Man, everything that we've been doing thus far from a physical preparation standpoint has been a broad brushstroke of effect. Everybody is doing the same thing. It's everyone supplementing the same. Everyone's supposed to sleep the same. Everyone's supposed to train the same. Everyone's supposed to recover the same.” And then we wonder why everybody is falling into these norms in terms of the data, why everyone's falling in these norms of sickness rates, norms in terms of  injury rates, norms in terms of performance rates. And the outliers are very small.

    And it was that moment when I stepped into NHL and really started to create these frameworks and processes that were built off of data and really looking at what does each individual person need. And once we do that, how do we then create this large amount of change. And in 2019-2020, it just hit me square in the face and I was like, “Man, this is not just an athlete problem. This is a human problem. We're striving for something more. We want to have more energy. We want to have more mental clarity. We want to have more focus. We want to be able to extend our life and have longevity.” But yet, we're just doing what everybody else is telling us to do and not understanding this thing that we live in.

    The power of being different in health coaching

    The first word I’m going to elaborate on is "different". And the reason that I say "different" is because that's been our focus since day one, being different than every other health coaching company out there. 

    Every other health coaching company is going to talk about nutrition and exercise. Every other health coaching company is going to be the broad brushstroke effect. And when you're different than other people, you stand out. And when you truly take ownership of different, you stand out for the positive way and you don't have to be first.

    When you're trailblazing, you have to convince people of what's going on, but once they actually understand what's there and you're different, they're convicted to go with you.

    Personalization over scale in building a thriving business

    I think we've gotten away from personalization because all we think about is scale, but in actuality, if you build a system that is all about personalization, that's when you can actually scale personalization.

    And that's what we've done that's different. And so we've compounded these two things in a very profound way that all of a sudden in two years, we're touching worth of 50, 000 people. And so when you come back to the question, “Okay, what is the one thing that you're doing that's allowed this?”

    And it comes from the mindset that your best client is the one that you already have. And you will never, you won't see marketing from us. We don't put ads out, and whether this is to our fault or not, we just, we don't market that way. Why? It's all grown through retention.

    The importance of navigating an adaptive closed loop system

    A big part of what we do during the whole process is we educate. That's the number one thing that we say we are as we educate people on how to stay healthy. Like, I want to win at business, I want to win in these areas, but you don't win in your health. The goal is to stay healthy. And the thing about this closed loop or this closed system is it's ever-evolving, it's ever-adapting, it's ever-changing to the different seasons, to the different stressors that are going on.

    And so we're constantly educating them on this, which is why we always retest every three months or every six months. And so the fact that we're always retesting, the fact that we're always reformulating supplementation, the fact that we're always curating based upon their lifestyle, based upon the changes that are going on in the seasonality, they're like, “Man, I know too much about my body now not to be proactive in this and because I want to continue to stay in this.” So education has been a massive part of what we do in again being different. 

    Show Links:

    27m - Nov 28, 2023
  • 17. A New Approach to Problem-Solving: Michael Hyatt’s Coaching Method

    Listen in as we discuss the art of coaching with Michael Hyatt, who shares his belief that coaching is the single biggest point of leverage in business. Michael is the Founder and Chairman of Full Focus. He has scaled multiple companies over the years, including a $250M publishing company with 700+ employees and his own goal-achievement company. Under his leadership, Full Focus has been featured in the Inc. 5000 list of the fastest-growing companies in America and Inc.’s Best Work Places list. He is also the author of several New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling books, including Your Best Year Ever, Free to Focus, Win at Work and Succeed at Life, and Mind Your Mindset. He has been married for over 45 years to his wife Gail, has five daughters, and ten grandchildren.  

    In this episode, Michael talks about the importance of customization in coaching and shares how asking the right question at the right time can completely shift the client's perspective and lead to significant results. A powerful example of this is his own experience with an executive coach, who asked him a critical question that forever changed his approach to leadership. Michael also touches on the power of the right question and shares a key question he asks his clients.

    In the second part of our chat, Michael discusses how to build listening skills and shares his thoughts on using both indirect and direct coaching methods. He emphasizes the importance of lending perspective to clients to encourage them to take on their problems and make them more solvable. He also provides an example of how 'chunking' a problem can reduce its drama and make it more manageable. Michael shares his approach to challenging his clients and reveals that he views his clients as big and strong, not small and fragile, and believes that it's his role to stand for their greatness. Tune in to hear more of Michael's insights and get a bonus tip on the power of asking the right questions.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    Coaching is the single biggest point of leverage in his business

    Well, I've been a consumer of coaching for about 20 years, and I've never not had a coach during that time. I feel like coaching has been the single biggest point of leverage in my business, and the way I look at it, if you want to go further faster, get a coach because the slow, dumb way is to figure it all out yourself. I love having somebody that's there as an advocate for me. I couldn't get that from my board when I was back in a corporate responsibility. You can't get it even from your friends or your colleagues, but a coach that knows you that intimately and is acquainted with your business, I think, is a game changer. 

    Why you can’t get coaching from YouTube videos

    It's got to be customized. You know, every client's situation is unique, and I think the right word at the right time, the right question at the right time, can make a huge difference, can shift everything for that person, and it certainly has for me.

    The thing that's made a big impact on the results of his clients

    I really believe that thinking is where it starts. Thinking leads to the actions you take. The actions you take deliver the results. And if you want to change the results, you've got to swim upstream to get to the thinking. But how do you get access to the thinking? I'm not a mind reader. Well, I realized that language is the key. The words people use reveal their thinking, and sometimes, just a subtle shift in the language can change everything for the client. 

    On clarifying problems before offering solutions

    I want to make sure I understand the problem, and I'm not trying to fix the wrong problem. I think it's important for people to be heard. And a lot of times, once people can externalize it, they see the problem with it as soon as they get it out. It's just when it's this ambiguous mess in their head that it feels unsolvable. But once they get it out, they often come to their own solutions. 

    Sometimes, you just have to listen and hear it out and make sure that you're not jumping to a conclusion that's not warranted. As a coach, I've really had to develop my listening skills. And that doesn't mean that I sometimes believe in directive coaching. I don't like the model where it's all indirect. So, that's definitely a tool in the toolbox, but I think once you get it, I think that's the point where you can just apply the right tool in the right situation and make a difference. And sometimes you have to speak into that, but you've got to solve the right problem.

    Show Links:

    20m - Nov 7, 2023
  • 16. From Good to Great: The Road to Becoming a Coachable Leader

    Ever wondered what distinguishes a great coach from the rest? Prepare to unlock the secrets behind extraordinary coaching as we sit down with the dynamic co-founders of the 100 Coaches Agency, Jacquelyn Lane and Scott Osman. This enlightening conversation promises to reveal the nuanced qualities that distinguish good coaches from outstanding ones. Jacquelyn and Scott, who've journeyed far and wide in the coaching world, divulge the distinctive attributes they've noted in truly impactful coaches, including their dedication to embody their teachings, their deep commitment to listening, and their relentless pursuit of holding their clients accountable for their goals.

    But wait, it's not just about being a great coach; it's also about being a great coachee! In this fascinating discussion, Jacquelyn and Scott explore the importance of coachability for a successful coaching engagement. They share their unique Openness Framework to help leaders become better coachees. They further stress the need to be open to changes, embrace feedback, take action, and be held accountable, both as a coach and a coachee. If you're already in the coaching space or considering a venture into it, this is a must-listen episode packed with priceless insights.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    Qualities of a great coach

    Jacquelyn: I think for me there's one quality that separates good coaches from great coaches, and I think it's that good coaches know how to talk the talk, but a great coach knows how to walk the walk. You know they really live what they talk about, and that makes an enormous difference. There's someone who walks beside someone and can listen for a long time and ask great questions. I think some of the most powerful coaching I've observed is when something just gets unlocked in someone. They have a flash of insight. Or this moment where their life is really never quite the same, and that's a powerful thing. Or someone who just calls out the best in someone, someone who can hold them accountable to reaching those goals. 

    Scott: Number one, they're able to develop a deep and trusted connection with the person they're working with. So there's complete openness and transparency and trust. And again, at the level that many of our coaches are operating in, that's a very rare thing. You know, one of the things common among all top leaders is they don't really have anybody that they can talk to in a trusted way, because everybody needs or wants something from them. So that ability to be that very close, trusted relationship is key. And then knowing what to do with that relationship, both in terms of, on the one hand, being respectful and, on the other hand, sometimes I would call it abrasively blunt, right, and tell them unabashedly what they need to hear. 

    Coaches should not be afraid to be fired

    Scott: One of the things that my heart really goes out to with coaches is you have to be not just willing but embracing of being fired, which is a little counterintuitive for people. So if you're afraid of being fired as a coach, then you're not going to say the things that might get you fired, which are probably some of the things that the person you're coaching really needs to hear. You just have to accept the fact that you're going to say some hard things that people really don't like. That may be the end, but that's part of the price of coaching. That's a great tone-setter, it’s what that is. 

    On becoming coachable

    Jacquelyn: We've had the great pleasure of doing this now for several years. We've witnessed over 300 executives and engagements and at that point now just started to aggregate what makes certain engagements successful versus others, and there's really one characteristic that has consistently risen to the top, and that's what we call coachability, which is dependent not on the quality of the coach, but rather on the quality and coachability of the leader. 

    I mean, that is one of the core insights we had too, and this goes back to what I just said earlier about the great coaches walk the walk. Great coaches are also coachable people. They know what it means to receive coaching and, oftentimes, a great coaching relationship. A great coach is soliciting feedback from their client all the time. “Was this what you needed? Did you get something insightful out of this? How close were you to firing me today?” It's all about continuing to exchange that feedback so that we can continue to grow and become better.

    We can certainly talk about mindsets and qualities of people who are very coachable. But I think I’d first like to mention what we call our openness framework. And our openness framework is this idea that if you are open to making a change, if you are open to receiving feedback, you're open to taking action and open to being held accountable. That makes you coachable, and, of course, part of the reason we use the word, “becoming,” is because you never just arrive, you never are coachable. You are constantly becoming more and more coachable. And you are becoming more and more open all the time to those ideas. But just, you know, if you can crack the door open a little bit, let that light shine through, and take that first step, then the coaching process will carry you, you'll start to build some momentum, turn that flywheel. And I think people really start to see radical results from coaching.

    Show Links:

    23m - Oct 31, 2023
  • 15. From Struggles to Triumphs: Nihar Chhaya's Guide to Executive Coaching Success

    Prepare yourself for a deep-dive into the world of executive coaching with Nihar Chhaya, the founder of partnerexec.com. Nihar is an executive coach to CEOs and senior leaders at global companies, including American Airlines, Coca-Cola, DraftKings, Lockheed Martin and others. He holds the Master Certified Coach (MCC) credential from the International Coach Federation and is a regular contributor on leadership to Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, and Forbes. 

    This episode illuminates Nihar’s fascinating journey, from feeling adrift in his own career to establishing his own business, guiding and advising top-tier CEOs, leaders, and other executives. He candidly shares his initial struggles with workplace politics and how this ultimately steered him towards the intriguing world of conversations and interpersonal dynamics at play. He emphasizes the crucial role of self-evaluation and risk-taking, pushing through discomfort to seize opportunities, and how these principles have cemented his success.

    As we step further into the conversation, Nihar imparts his unique coaching and consulting approach for thriving in the business arena. He unfolds the importance of questioning and the art of aligning clients mentally, emotionally, and physically to spur remarkable results. Building a reputable presence and maintaining mental engagement during conversations are key tenets of his coaching philosophy. Nihar also shares some priceless insights on maneuvering through uncertainties and carving out your own path in the coaching realm. Don't miss the chance to glean from these pearls of wisdom. Join us for this enlightening chat with Nihar Chhaya.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    How Nihar got into the coaching world

    I actually landed in this world largely because I was confused a little bit about my own leadership journey. So, I had went to college and graduate school in the nineties and took on a typical financial analyst jobs and strategic consulting and things like that. And then I went to Wharton for business school, and most of my classmates at that point were going to invest in banking or private equity or McKinsey, those kinds of companies. I really was interested in them, but I also felt it wasn't really speaking to what my strengths were and what my real passions were, which was around just learning more about people. And so, while I had the business acumen, one thing that always stuck with me was I wonder how this affects people who are working in companies. And so, I found myself almost following the herd into some of these bigger jobs. And then I found that I was struggling to understand politics at work, moving up the corporate ladder, if you will. So, I hired a coach. 

    Nihar’s one thing that get clients’ results

    I think really what it comes down to is stepping out of my own comfort zone in the service of the client. Over the many years of learning to be a coach, I found, on one hand, you can get very comfortable thinking that you're the consultant in the room. You're the one that has to have all the answers. And I found that as I do work with senior executives at these bigger companies, a lot of these business leaders don't really know what they don't know. They focus on the logical aspects of business. So, it's very easy for coaching conversations to, kind of, stay in the realm of, okay, here's what you need to do to increase revenue. Here's what you need to do to decrease costs, et cetera. And while you can stay in that area, I found that I wasn't really serving the client in terms of transformative insight building. I had to evaluate myself what am I doing here in terms of really moving the needle for them? And so, even moving from questions, like, what do you want to do in the next quarter, to who do you need to be able to achieve those things? How do you need to show up? They're basic coaching questions, but a lot of times, I found myself unwilling to go there with certain leaders where I felt as if they might think it's too fluffy or they might think it's too soft. The big idea for me was really about saying to myself that if I expect my client to really step out of their comfort zone, I can also be willing to do that as well. And that creates more intimacy and trust for us as well.

    Difference between selling coaching and doing actual coaching

    A lot of times there's a dichotomy between selling your coaching and actually doing the coaching, the delivering. As I mentioned, sometimes, my clients don't really know what coaching involves. And so, if you just jump right into it and start having these, kind of, inquisitive conversations, they're not really there. On the other hand, if you actually just talk about coaching as if, Hey, you can get all these kinds of benefits and you'll get promoted by next year and this and that, that's not really also anything different than the typical kind of marketing jargon out there.

    So, I always find going back to the big idea for me, I have to be constantly on. I don't have to be talking a lot, I don't have to be the one dominating, but I have to be mentally on. I can't be passive in my own kind of complacency as a coach because what I find is that when I actually say to myself, you need to step in a little bit here, then it changes the dynamic a lot with people. And I found that, in moments, it can be easy to say, maybe I just want him to go down that road 'cause it's going to be a little bit awkward. But when I do, it generally pays off for both of us.

    Knowing how you can be an effective coach

    I think it's so important to be able to know what you can't do or what you're not going to be as effective doing. I've learned that as well. I realized, for instance, that I am probably better coaching people who are at the VP and up level just because I have more experience in that. And also I just find the problems that they're dealing with are things that I have a little bit more, maybe wisdom based on my work. But there's a lot of work that's out there with the early career folks, individual contributors, and first-time managers. And there's so many great coaches that do that work. So, what I also recognized was, okay, this is where I can actually help — tie align you up with better coaches that can do it. But it does take that wisdom to be, or at least that discipline, to be able to sit back and say, this is my lane, and I'm going to stay in that lane to be effective.

    Show Links:

    23m - Oct 24, 2023
  • 14. The Brunner Method: Shaping Powerful Communicators with Liz Brunner

    Lights, camera, action! This episode welcomes Liz Brunner, an award-winning news anchor turned successful business owner. A classically trained singer and former high school teacher, Liz takes us on a fascinating journey that showcases a unique perspective on storytelling. Learn how she uses her voice to help leaders, executives, entrepreneurs, and creators communicate more effectively.

    Liz generously shares her 4 C's framework for creating powerful presentations: Confidence, Content, Clarity, and Conversation. This is the secret sauce of the Brunner Method, a unique approach that empowers clients to understand and relay their content in a way that resonates with audiences. Discover how Liz's experiences, the challenges she faced while growing her business, and the highs and lows of her entrepreneurial journey contribute to her successful career as a coach. 

    But this isn't just a conversation about communication - it's a symphony of experiences and insights. Inspired by her musical background, Liz shares the benefits of practicing speeches backwards. Yes, backwards! Starting with the end in mind can capture your audience right away and improve content, clarity, and energy. Hear her recount her time as a news anchor using conversational storytelling to connect with her audience. Liz’s narrative underscores the significance of balancing professionalism with a relatable persona. Join us for entertaining and enriching insights into the world of effective communication.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    Transitioning from teaching to anchoring to coaching

    When the television industry was changing, I felt like there was something more that I could do, and I wanted truly to take what I feel had been the gifts that I've been blessed with, the skills and the expertise that I've honed over this crazy career that I've had, and be able to bring it and share it with other people. 

    So, in many respects, I started out as a teacher, and now I'm a teacher and a coach once again. And the theme, if you will, and people say, how did you go from that to this? It's all storytelling, and it's all using your voice. When I was singing, I was singing stories and teaching students how to sing stories. In my television career, I was sharing other people's stories, giving them a platform. As a coach, I'm helping my clients use their voice and learn how to tell their stories. And now, as a keynote speaker and an author, I'm sharing my story.

    On launching her coaching business

    I made the decision that day, and I left and launched six weeks later, and I never looked back. And so, to be able to share the expertise that I have and the coaching and the teaching, I love it. It's all storytelling, and using your voice and being able to help people feel good about that really means a lot to me. And I've kind of developed a couple of things. Well, I call it Liz's 4 C's. Number one, you have to have confidence. Number two, you have to know your content. Number three, you have to have clarity of your content. And number four, you have to deliver it in a conversational way. And so, being able to help people do that…. I see the progress in my clients often before they do, but when they see it, it is the best feeling in the world.

    On starting your content at the end

    When I'm working with clients on how to put their content together, and again, any content to me is storytelling, and it has an open, it has a middle, and it has a close, and a lot of people think that they need to start at the beginning. I always say start at the end. What do you want the fourth quarter to look like? What do you want the end game to look like? What is the goal of the remarks that you're sharing? Why should people even listen to you? What's in it for them? And when you figure that out to me, then you can begin to figure out how you want to begin.

    Show Links:

    25m - Oct 17, 2023
  • 13. Leading with Inclusion: Unveiling Leadership Lessons with Dr. Gena Cox

    Meet our esteemed guest, Dr. Gena Cox, an organizational psychologist and an executive coach who believes in a human-centered approach to coaching. Her perspective, enriched by her travels, emphasizes the significance of understanding every individual's point of view. She asserts that leaders who travel often develop a broad-minded approach, becoming more aware, inclusive, and adaptable. 

    In this revealing conversation, Dr. Cox provides insights into the nuances of executive coaching, drawing a distinction from coaching middle managers. She dwells on the importance of intuition in coaching, indicating how it aids in comprehending clients' needs. The conversation illuminates how change operates on different planes and how the client's sense of being acknowledged and valued determines the effectiveness of the coaching. For those intrigued by leadership, inclusion, and coaching intricacies, this episode is a treasure trove of insights worth exploring.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    On how to be an effective leader

    You can't consider yourself to be an effective leader if you only understand the needs and expectations of a fraction of your workforce. An inclusive leader is one who understands 100% of that workforce and is then able to make decisions that support 100% of that workforce.

    Who are the most effective leaders

    I grew up on a Caribbean island called Barbados, and one of the things that I realized on the island is that you were interacting with people from all over the world just because those people were on your island, and you sort of looked outward. And then, as I got older and as I traveled, I started to notice that people who traveled were apparently just more curious, more flexible in their approach to a variety of things. And so, I guess we could say that, if that is true, that observation, it probably also is true with regard to leadership because the leaders that I think are the most effective, especially on this inclusion slice of leadership, are the ones that are able to realize that they have a perspective, that everybody's perspective is sort of defined by their own experiences, and to be effective as a leader, you've got to understand a wide range of perspectives and then get comfortable with them. 

    The one thing that's made an outsized impact on her ability to help clients

    I'm gonna call it just-in-time results-focused coaching. And the reason I labeled it that way just for this conversation is because I figured the possibility that there might be people listening to this conversation who have heard this idea about results-focused coaching. Meaning you go into coaching with the perspective that you want to make sure that your clients are able to accomplish whatever it is that they desire. That's why they're doing coaching, it has to be worthwhile and useful. Well, that's great. What I've learned to add to that over the years is that I really focus and spend more of my time thinking about what is going on with my clients. What is it that they need in the moment? 

    And so, while it's fine to talk about results and to have a big idea or a big goal that you're working towards, it's really important for me to think very clearly about the industry that my client is in, to stay up to date with what's happening, news that may influence or impact the decisions that they have to make. Because when a client is with me, I want to sort of have a sense of what's going on with them right now. That's the true value of coaching.

    Typical leadership coaching VS executive coaching

    I think one of the distinguishing characteristics of working with executives is that, first of all, things are moving really fast. You have to be ready, to be in the moment and go to flow because the thing that they might want to talk about today might be the thing that was furthest from your mind. So, there's just that part of it that you've got to be extremely flexible and nimble and able to sort of go with that. The other thing, though, is that you sort of get to the point in the relationship where you know that they're finally able to tell you what's really on their minds. It's a process in that sense. There's no shorthand that you can take to that. It's one of the challenges that I had when I would work with large companies that would want to say what their coaching process was. Sometimes, they would say this is our process; this is how we want to do things, and that does not really work with regard to the kind of coaching that we're talking about, and that's, I think, a big distinguisher between typical leadership coaching and executive coaching. You've got to have all that space for the client to be able to sort of flex and move and change. And one of the things you can do is kind of help them stay on the right map, stay on the path that they said they want to be on, but also make it possible and easy for them to deviate from that whenever they need to do it. 

    Show Links:

    23m - Oct 10, 2023
  • 12. Optimizing Offers and Embracing Skills: Mastering the Art of Hell Yes Offers with Jessica Miller

    Ever wondered what it really takes to be a successful entrepreneur? Our discussion with Jessica Miller unveils some powerful insights. 

    Jessica Miller is a Sales and Growth Strategist that helps established entrepreneurs optimize their offers for profit so they can stop chasing clients and money, and instead generate consistent income while doing less. After working with dozens of business owners, she has seen that the difference between burnout and thriving is having a Hell Yes Offer at the center of the business. Jessica has spoken at The StoryBrand Made Simple Summit, The Maine Women's Conference, and several others, and is a favorite guest expert in private high-level masterminds and has been a guest on much-loved podcasts like Susan Hyatt’s Rich Coach Club and The Next On Scene podcast. 

    Jessica takes us through her journey, from launching a 'Hell Yes' offer to creating a successful model for entrepreneurs to optimize their offers for maximum profits. All this while working less! She shares her unique approach to consultancy and coaching, emphasizing the importance of giving yourself permission to be successful and to show up powerfully for your clients.

    But what does it mean to 'show up powerfully'? Jessica explains this by highlighting the importance of clarity in coaching and understanding the necessity to own your talents and skills sets. She also talks about staying focused, creating specific offers, and building your brand to reach a wider audience. We also delve into how mentors, data, and intuition guided her to recognize her own skills. And lastly, Jessica shares how to understand and navigate environmental factors affecting your business. Get ready for a chat that's packed with actionable insights to empower your entrepreneurial journey. Join us and learn how to take your business to the next level.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Additional Note:

    Jessica and her team work with clients on retainer, but recently released a new offer for customized VIP days that is unique to the coaching marketplace and so much fun (it's also getting a lot of attention from people saying it's something they've never seen) - https://rockyourbiz.us/. It weaves in nicely to her messaging of having an offer that you love (that's Hell Yes!) and also dialing in (and dialing up) the offers that work and optimizing them for profits and your target market.

    Episode Quotes:

    The kind of work that Jessica engages in

    I worked with people on creating what I call their Hell Yes Offer. After doing that and really helping people blow their business up in a really powerful way of connecting that Hell yes energy of things that really excite them with the offer that they share with people, I started working with more established entrepreneurs. When I started working with them, what I found was it wasn't about just creating Hell Yes offers because they had a business. It was growing. Those offers were proven, and they were enjoying it, but there was something that was making them hit this plateau. I started working with them and optimizing their offers for profits and really looking for that gap in their business that was going to create the biggest amount of momentum, energy, cash flow, clients, whatever that was, and then helping them create plans around doing that thing that's working that much better. What it resulted in was them creating more money and more time while doing a whole lot less. 

    The one thing that made a really big impact on her ability to get clients results

    I'm from New York, and so that sort of stuck with me my whole career about being sort of a direct person and a big energy. And at first, I think I really dialed that down. I didn't want to push my customers too much. I didn't want to push my clients too much. But the truth of the matter is that I think as coaches and consultants, people need us to hold that space for them in a way that's powerful. And that means, sometimes, just being able to lay it down on the line and belief that your client is going to create what it is that you're seeing and being able to give them permission to sort of get rid of the rest of the stuff. And I found personally, when it comes to growth and really dialing in to those one things that work, you have to give people permission to go all-in on that and own it. And sometimes they're in a place where they're afraid to let go of the other things. If you show up in that wishy-washy energy, they will respond to that wishy-washy energy with their own insecurities. 

    The importance of believing in yourself and your skill sets

    The bottom line when you're on a call with somebody and they need your help is that they're not fully in belief yet. Either they need the validation of that, or they need your expertise or your outside perspective. But when you're coming to the table and you see it, or they're not staying focused on it, you need to be able to be all-in on the result that you're helping them create so that you can hold the space for them to decide to commit, to believe in that. And I believe if you show up in that place when you're not bulletproof in the belief in your own abilities and what you're seeing and your expertise, it's hard to hold the space for somebody else to believe that and that plan that you're putting forth. If you believe it is the best opportunity for them, if you're marrying that with the data and your experience, then you have to be able to help them buy into that too, and the ability to do that, I think, is a really powerful piece in them creating that result. 

    Show Links:

    21m - Oct 3, 2023
  • 11. Shaping Your Coaching Game: The Transformative Power of Accountability

    Join us on an enlightening journey as we sit down with Blake Eastman, a powerhouse in nonverbal research and behavioral science who has spent over a decade as a top poker coach. Eastman's unique insights into the complexities of social skills are shaped by his experience conducting the world's largest study on poker players, an exploration that has given him a distinctive perspective on coaching in today's multifaceted society. His transition from poker to nonverbal research wasn't a struggle but rather an evolution that we delve into in this episode.

    A personal revelation reshaped Blake’s coaching style - accountability. As coaches, we need to step up and lead by example, practicing what we preach and holding ourselves accountable for our actions. This episode also explores the crucial role of accountability coaches, these unsung heroes who can drive us forward toward achieving our goals. 

    Blake continues the conversation by respectfully underscoring the importance of learning from our failures and how this shapes our ability to be accountable, a humbling and empowering experience.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    On making the jump from poker to nonverbal group

    I've viewed them as separate, but they're very overlapped skill sets. The truth is I learned so much from coaching poker players at scale that I wouldn't be able to do the things that I'm doing now without all the technology and methodologies and everything that we develop for poker players. I really don't think the whole jump is that hard at all. I think it's something that gets in a lot of people's heads about, “Oh, I coach this kind of person, but I can't coach that kind of person.” The reality is, to some extent, there's truth in that, but the transition is a lot easier than people think.

    The one thing that made a really big impact on his ability to get clients results

    First, it's a mindset shift, and then it's tactics and application of that. So, I think the biggest shift came from me when I started to see that I'm responsible to my clients, not only on the 45-minute call or the 30-minute check-in but in their life between those moments.

    On adapting your framework to fit your clients’ routines

    I think a lot of coaches become lazy with their framework. They just do the same thing, and it's like, no, you got to figure out how do you produce results. Like, you come up with a methodology and like a four-part framework or seven phases and blah, blah, blah, and the reality is not everybody fits into the freaking seven-phase thing that you came up with, and not every culture is the same, and not every person is the same, and you want to have structure but I think part of the aspect of being a world-class coach or let's say, top .01%, is to be able to read the dynamic and quickly adapt your framework and do what's going to work for them. The ability to be dynamic outside of your rigid framework is what allows you to get to the top, in my opinion. 

    Show Links:

    22m - Sep 26, 2023
  • 10. The Long Game: Crafting Content that Resonates with Dorie Clark

    We're thrilled to bring you a thought-provoking conversation with the brilliant Dorie Clark, a coveted trainer on Linked-in Learning and the mind behind "The Long Game," a Wall Street Journal bestseller. Dorie's wisdom shines as she shares her insights on the significance of content creation in a world where everyone’s competing for attention. She dives deep into how mastering the art of communication and language and pointing out the unique aspects of your work can make you heard above the noise. 

    We also discuss the development of writing skills and building credibility. Dorie generously shares her journey - from selling a bike on Craigslist to writing for the Harvard Business Review - and offers invaluable insights into harnessing real conversations and turning them into compelling written content. She also sheds light on the crucial roles of preparation, luck, and networking in creating opportunities. Get ready for a thrilling journey into the realm of thought leadership, making this episode a must-listen for consultants, coaches, and anyone who’s ever dreamed of making their ideas heard.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    Communication coaching with Dorie

    The work that I do is about communication and helping people get their ideas and messages out more effectively in a loud and crowded world. We all know that the best marketing is having people come to you because they know what you're about and they like it. And so, figuring out how to break through is one of the things that I'm most interested in.

    The better way to come up with content ideas

    There's two different ways to come up with story ideas. We often try to do top-down and say, "Oh, what's a brilliant idea? What's a marketable idea?" And when you do that, you just get so stuck. But what I think we often need to do is do bottom up. Start with your lived experiences of the things. Real people, what are they asking you? What did you say to them? What was the experience that is out there? And almost always, you can literally get content ideas and write entire articles based on the advice that you give in your coaching sessions. You just are letting it go into the ether. It's benefiting one person. But if you learn to start meticulously capturing, "Oh, wait, I told them four things. Here, let me write them down," at the end of your sessions, that is article ideas between now and the rest of your life.

    The best thing about communication coaching

    I would say that one of the biggest things above and beyond, just the emotional gratification of my being able to help people. So many of my clients come to me with a really specific desire that they feel frustrated because they're smart people, they have good ideas, they know they have good ideas, but it's always go paging through the magazines and seeing other people's bylines and saying, "Oh, I could have written that." That's such a maddening feeling over time. And so, to actually be able to surmount that and to crack that code and to have you be the person who is actually in those blogs, those websites, those magazines is really powerful. 

    One of the most powerful credibility builders

    If you do something as an individual, everybody's like, "Well, yay, good for you, but maybe you're special or different in some way," right? Maybe you're the outlier. Nobody takes it seriously. But if you are able to help a lot of other people do it, then they begin to say, "Oh, actually, there may be a system, there may be a methodology, and that means it might be able to help me."

    And so, for me, that's very validating in the sense that there actually are some specific principles that you can show people and it enables them to break through in a way that may have been much more difficult if they had to figure it out by trial and error.

    Show Links:

    24m - Sep 19, 2023
  • 09. Don’t Fail to Do This...

    Ready to elevate your coaching game and deliver impressive results to your clients? This episode is just the ticket. Your host, Todd Herman, takes you on a deep dive into the importance of creating a consistent structure for coaching conversations. He unravels the mystery behind why some coaches struggle to retain clients and generate referrals and how a well-defined coaching framework can solve these woes.

    Todd shares insights from his early sports career, painting a vivid picture of how a game plan, or a loose framework, significantly boosts the effectiveness of your coaching sessions. And just when you think you've got it all figured out, he unpacks the GROW model - your ultimate key to successful coaching. Todd explicates every component of this model and how they can guide your coaching conversations, challenge client assumptions, and help you define clear objectives. Buckle up to learn how to masterfully use this model to define your brand as a coach and stand out in your field. Let's get your coaching practice in top gear, together!

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    The challenge of not having a structured coaching session

    If you don't have a good structure, a good model, or a good framework for how you consistently have your conversations, you leave your clients with a roller coaster of results or a roller coaster of experiences from each of your different sessions instead of consistently always producing a defined outcome or defined action plan that they can go and use until your next session. They might have a great session with you, they might have a poor session with you, but they can't even pinpoint why it is and when that happens, that is going to affect people returning to you, people re-upping, people renewing, et cetera. So, I highly encourage you to, if you don't already have a very well-defined structure for how you operate your coaching sessions, now, don't make the mistake of being someone who goes and accumulates 40 different types of models or frameworks for how you deliver a session to clients. So many people think that that's what they should be doing so they can maybe show their mastery of coaching, but the reality is the most effective and highly paid coaches in the world will have one to three models or frameworks that they typically would basically push their conversation through.

    The power of coaching with a structured model/framework

    I highly encourage you on your pathway to growing and mastering this particular business that we're all in, that you go out and you decide on an important framework model to include in your coaching process. The moment that you do, it starts to really up level your coaching skill set. More importantly, the results for all of our clients. It's the systemization of one really, really critical part of our world. There's so many people out there that have really poor experiences in the world of coaching, but if you can be the one that delivers a powerful experience, it sets you so much further apart than the other people out there who hang up a shingle and call themselves a coach. This is a part of becoming a transformative leader in our space.

    Show Links:

    14m - Sep 12, 2023
  • 08. Harnessing Group Connection and Engagement Effectively

    Join us for a dynamic chat with the exceptional leader for entrepreneurs, Shawn Shepheard. We traverse his fruitful career in the coaching sphere, focusing on his unique mission to assist family-owned business owners and their leadership teams in attaining the next level of growth without the burnout of working around the clock. We also unpack a revolutionary concept: the power of congregating your best clients in the same room. Shawn regales us with his experiences of his first virtual event and the profound impact of connecting with clients through technology. 

    We also explore the challenges of sustaining potent connections beyond an event, along with the concept of nurturing a group that remains connected, supports each other, and fosters healthy competition. Listen as Shawn sheds light on his innovative approaches, such as the Leadership Olympics and One Month Challenge, which have proven successful in cultivating connection and engagement within his group. We also dissect the merits of competition in constructing a new culture, a common language, and encouraging a friendly rivalry that ultimately aids in retaining people who desire to stay connected to Shawn’s world. You won't want to miss these insights from one of the industry's best.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    The people he serves and how he helps them

    I work with family-owned business owners and their leadership teams, companies that have gotten to a certain point of growth, so not beginner companies or startups, and they get to a certain level of growth that you know, in the words of Marshall Goldsmith, what got them here will not get them to the next level, and they don't know what to do next. I help them get to the next level without working 24 seven. 

    The magic in group connection

    So people love groups. When we meet live in person, there's a genuine human connection. When you break bread with people, the relationship changes; when they sit down and work together and get to know each other and their issues and their problems and their dreams and their challenges. My challenge was how do I make that last after one day or two days of the event because we've all gone to events, even small, intimate groups, and then nothing. You wake up on the third day, and it's kind of sad. I would walk by the meeting room in the hotel and feel like, oh my God, yesterday we were just laughing and joking. So, the question was always like, how do you keep that? Because it works. The magic of the group works. The accountability, the connection, the friendship, all of those things work. But how do we keep it going past the event? How do we make that lasting connection and real change? So number one, they want to be connected. Number two, they want to support each other in whatever dream and vision they have. And number three, they want to be held accountable by me and others. And number four, especially with my clients or with peak performers, they're super competitive. So, when I actually put them into a group that doesn't end at the end of two days, where they can go in and connect, where they can get updates with me, where they could share their wins which is the biggest thing, and they could share their challenges and see they're not alone between sessions, is powerful.

    A simple thing to implement in group dynamics

    Bring the people that love you and who you serve together. I hear a lot of coaches that are struggling reach out to me, and that's the number one thing I say. Do you do anything where you bring them together? Have they ever met each other? Let them meet each other. Bring them together and give them a challenge to rise to. 

    Show Links:

    21m - Aug 22, 2023
  • 07. Unlocking Resilience: Heart-Centered Approach to Mental Toughness with Ben Newman

    Join us in a thought-provoking conversation with Ben Newman, a highly regarded mental toughness coach whose life experiences have fueled his commitment to mental resilience and success. Ben's journey is marked by personal trials, such as his mother's battle with a rare muscle disease, which made him realize the power of mental toughness at a young age. His story is an illustration of how life's most challenging moments can shape us, teaching us invaluable lessons and helping us develop a stronger, more resilient mindset. 

    Ben's profound understanding of the human mind and heart has been instrumental in his approach to coaching. Stressing the importance of knowing what lies in a person's heart, he talks about the significance of delaying opportunities for the sake of building genuine relationships. He also shares his insights on nurturing trust with athletes, enabling them to reach their highest potential. His book, "The Standard," has been highly influential, guiding many on how to take ownership of their goals. Through dedication and commitment to mental toughness, Ben Newman has unlocked the secret to success, a secret he passionately shares with audiences around the world. Don't miss out on this inspiring conversation packed with motivation and guidance for everyone.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    On the importance of mental toughness in the coaching world

    First off, I believe that our greatest character is built through the toughest of times. Our real strength is built through challenge and adversity. And because I had to experience adversity so fast, so early on in life, and then I was blessed to have those mentors and coaches to pick me up off the mat of life when I didn't want to do it, when I didn't feel like I had any strength, now I have the blessing of guiding, sharing, helping to understand, helping somebody to uncover, maybe, the strength they didn't realize they've had to get them up off the mat of life. It's the greatest gift I could ever have been given, and to be able to do this for a career… For me, it's the passion in the fire that just comes out of me every day.

    The one thing he uncovered that has the biggest impact on his coaching career

    Just say yes and know that the money will be a byproduct of you saying yes and doing things for the right reasons. Find those opportunities where you can build your muscle and figure out how to connect before you chase down that big opportunity that you want because, quite frankly, you might not be ready for it. 

    Don’t delay opportunities just because of the money

    Don't make it about the money. People say, well, I'm not going to go speak to that high school. Look at my resume, look what I've done. I should be getting paid X to give a talk, and if you find that that's the camp that you're living in every day, as somebody owes you a speaking fee, you may never get the speaking fee that you actually deserve to get one day or you're capable of receiving. And so, I just had this passion not to make it about the money. And even to this day, the speaking fees I get now are 50 times what I used to get paid to speak. I can't even believe that this is what I get paid to speak, In some cases, 100 times what I used to get paid to speak, and I'm like, I can't believe this. But I never worried about it, and I don't worry about it now. And so, I think if you're worried about the money, I don't know if you're ever going to be able to find your true passion for doing this the right way, in my opinion.

    Understanding what’s inside a person’s heart separates you from the rest

    I think the most important thing, and we've heard this so many times in so many different ways, is you have to understand what's in somebody's heart, and if you find that you think it's the same conversation with every single person, you're never going to connect on the deepest level to help each individual. 

    And so I've always done the very best that I could, and I'm still trying to find even deeper ways and more detailed questions that I can ask by having conversations with individuals like you that have been going at this longer than me, and to find out what's the deep question I can ask, to figure out what's exactly in Todd's heart, not his why, not his purpose, but what I actually call your burn. 

    And your burn is that underlying fire that actually ignites why and purpose that then causes you to be disciplined on the days you don't want to do it, and especially after you win. So it's somebody who they told you your whole life you were too small to compete, or your mother made sacrifice for you with three jobs, and you're not going to waste that sacrifice, and when you think of her sacrifice, you turn up to a whole new level. Well, I have to coach and have deep conversations with that individual based upon that experience of the sacrifice their mother made, not a canned speech that I give to every single audience that I speak to, and if you're willing to understand that everybody's different and to spend the time to build real relationships. I think that's the difference in this kind of work that distances you from others who just want to go give a speech. 

    Show Links:

    21m - Aug 15, 2023
  • 06. The Power of Narrative and Identity

    What if the secret to high performance lies not in achieving more but in shifting your mindset and narratives? Allow Dr. Cassidy Preston, a seasoned performance coach, and former hockey player, to guide you through the transformative journey. With a unique approach that centers on empathy and understanding, Cassidy shares how to challenge your thought process and belief systems effectively. Drawing from his own experience, he reveals the power of the alter ego strategy and how it has been instrumental in his coaching practice and personal life.

    Cassidy also delves deeper into his approach to performance coaching, focusing on narrative work and shifting the language around confidence. He sheds light on the significance of understanding people's definitions of confidence and the power of focusing on who you want to be rather than what you want to achieve. Don't miss out as Cassidy challenges conventional wisdom and encourages listeners to question their own narratives. To wrap things up, he also extends an invitation for listeners to visit his website and social media profiles for more information.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    The one thing that has really made a big impact on his ability to get results for clients

    It's the narrative stuff. When somebody says I've always just been that way or this is who I am, and I'm a person that does this, and so as soon as the narrative and the identity is rooted, well then we can't deal with the confidence or the beating yourself up because you just believe it to be true. And so, helping shine a light on the root problem, on the root narrative that's holding someone back from evolving or growing or letting go of those living beliefs, is the number one thing.

    On the ability to challenge people on their narrative

    I think it’s somewhat easy. My disposition is to coach. I kind of learned through those early experiences just to assert myself and guide without being mean around just to push people away. And I think I also have, like you said, from my own experiences, a lot of certainty and challenging people like, no, this isn't necessarily serving you. There is a different way. Try looking at it this way, and you tell me if it fits. And so that narrative is very much guiding and challenging, yet it's not like pushing, like demeaning and putting people down because that's never going to help.

    On positioning the concept of narrative with people

    Are you what you do or achieve, or you think, or you feel? You're the character in a story, but you're not the character in the story. You're actually the author or the narrator of your life. You are awareness and choice, and how you narrate the story, and how you write the next page. And so that framework, helping people look at it that way versus no, I'm just a character in a story, no, you're actually the author of your own story. So, helping them flip the script on that was like, okay, well then, what story are you writing and how are you interpreting the facts that have happened, is a helpful way for them to understand it. 

    Show Links:

    18m - Aug 8, 2023
  • 05. Building Successful Online Communities: Trust, Coaching, and Authenticity

    What if I told you that the pioneer of membership websites on the internet started his career coaching teenagers with severe disabilities? That's exactly the incredible journey our guest, Ryan Lee, has gone through. In this episode, we dive into Ryan's unique story, exploring how his experiences working with disabled teens equipped him with a skill set that's proven invaluable in his work with some of the biggest names in the fitness and digital marketing world.

    Together, we delve into the art of understanding and effectively marketing to target audiences without being overly explicit. Ryan shares the power of having a private community or forum for your customers, emphasizing the trust and shared experiences it can foster. We also touch on the importance of remembering that, no matter the topic, people are still human beings who may want to discuss other aspects of their lives. Join us for this insightful conversation with Ryan Lee and learn how to build strong, thriving communities that benefit both your business and your customers.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    The skillsets he developed while working with kids and teens with disabilities

    It wasn't just kids and teens; it was kids and teens mostly with physical disabilities, but a lot of them had multiple disabilities. It taught me, first of all, to put things in perspective. When I would coach people, and they get stressed out over a little thing, I'm like, let's relax, we're good, we're going to get through this. In perspective, it's not really the worst thing in the world. 

    It also taught me a lot of patience. And I know you've used this word a lot, and I love this word too, just grit and resilience. Seeing how much resilience they had and how hard they worked, and then kind of bringing this over to coaching and working with adults, it definitely set up a really strong foundation. 

    How a private forum helped his membership business succeed

    The biggest reason I think that the business succeeded was we had a private community, a forum. This was before Facebook, before social media, so it was a place where everyone could gather. But what was really cool about it with the coaching, I was kind of leading the charge, but other people were chiming in and helping each other. You could almost call it just accountability community, whatever you want to call it, but it became this kind of living organism, and people were just helping each other out, especially with skill sets that maybe I didn't have. I was a track athlete all through high school and college, and I was really good at sprinting and speed training, but if someone had a question about certain types of power lifts, someone else can say, "Oh well, make sure you do hip flexion on this movement." And it was really interesting to see that kind of phase one of my career coaching online fitness and strength and conditioning. The community was the shift where I'm like, okay, instead of just working with one person at a time, I can have thousands of members in there getting coaching, accountability, community, and I'm kind of bringing it all together, pulling the resources. 

    The importance of trust in a community forum

    If someone gets into a community, especially if you have a community forum or private group or Facebook group, and they're not the right fit, or they're aggressive, or whatever the vibe is that's just not fitting, you have to remove them quickly even if it means sacrificing some money. Some people are scared to turn away, but you have to. You have to do that. Because the reason my communities work is because it comes down to trust, right? They have to trust whoever the leader of the community is and who's kind of the face of it, and they have to know you're always going to have their back and you're always going to do what's best for them. If they think it's just a holding group, so you can charge your fifty dollars a month, and then you're going to sell them something more expensive down the road, they know. They're not dumb. So, you have to protect them against all this stuff, and they have to know you always have their back. 

    Show Links:

    23m - Aug 1, 2023
  • 04. Coaching and Accountability in the Fitness Industry

    We welcome Dan Go to the show to talk about health and fitness. Dan is a fitness coach, and the CEO of High Performance Founder, a program that specializes in helping high-achieving entrepreneurs transform their bodies with ease and minimal stress.

    When he was still a trainer, Dan thought everything was just diet and nutrition. But then he realized that data points were much more important when it came to progress or getting the right results. The more data points that they have, the more it gives them a better picture or holistic view of where they, and their clients, are headed to.

    In this episode, Dan talks about how they help founders, CEOs, New York Times bestsellers, and other high-performing leaders achieve their fitness goals and become the healthiest versions of themselves. Their intent is to help people get lean, build muscle, and boost energy and to have that trickle into the other aspects of their lives.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    Why Dan chooses to work with entrepreneurs and leaders

    I want to make the most impact as possible. I want to talk to the leaders. And then the leaders are the ones who impact other people with their product, services, and their books.

    Why their program is successful

    What we do is we want them to be seen, to be heard, and to know that someone else is on the other side, looking at what they're doing on a regular basis. I like to say that accountability is probably the key that unlocks the results in terms of our own programs. We have a 94% success rate with the people that go in our programs and the people that get results. And the big part of it is because of this accountability matrix.

    On why incorporating small check-ins are important in their process

    The small wins are a reflection of the bigger things that are going on with them. And a lot of times, especially being the human experience itself, we're always thinking about the survival mechanisms. We're always thinking about what's going wrong. We always have our minds in this mode where we're looking at more negative things than we really should. And it's on us as coaches to really just point out these small wins that are happening as a result of all the positive things that they're doing. Because it actually gives them positive reinforcement to keep on doing the things that they are doing. It gives them more reasons to do that.

    Show Links:

    22m - Jul 25, 2023
  • 03. How to Work with (Almost) Anyone

    Are you ready to transform your coaching relationships? Get ready for an insightful conversation with our special guest, Michael Bungay Stanier (MBS), author of best-selling books like The Coaching Habit and The Advice Trap. He brings decades of experience in the coaching industry and shares his wisdom on building better relationships with clients and creating more effective coaching practices.

    In our chat with MBS, we explore the importance of establishing a strong foundation in coaching relationships by discussing how to work together before diving into the content of coaching itself. MBS shares a powerful question - "What needs to be said that hasn't yet been said?" - for opening up lines of communication and creating a safe, vital, and repairable relationship with clients and team members alike. We also discuss the challenges and opportunities in designing effective online training programs – from addressing slippage to varying the tone and energy of the training for optimum results.

    If you're looking to level up your coaching game, this episode is a treasure trove of insights from the one and only Michael Bungay Stanier. Discover how asking the right questions can unlock transformative coaching experiences and maximize the potential of your relationships. So, grab your headphones, and let's dive right into this enriching conversation.

    *The upcoach podcast is produced by Ventures FM.*

    Episode Quotes:

    One of the kind of profound lessons MBS learned early on when coaching

    I would convince myself that the better thing to do would not be to confront a client because of how I was helping them, being kind to them, or being supportive about them. When I really look at it, I was like, no, I'm just scared of that confrontation. I don't know how to say it, and I'm worried about their reaction and getting it wrong. I'm worried about me, in other words.

    I want the relationship I have with the people I work with to be fierce love. Love, meaning I am a hundred percent committed to their greatness and helping them thrive and be the best version of it. Fierce, meaning I'll do what it takes to do that in a respectful way. And that means loving them when I need to love them. It means getting out of their way when I'm in their way. It means having a fierceness if that's what's required.

    Developing strong relationships

    The starting point is to commit to a conversation about how we'll work together before or ongoing as you work on the stuff together. In other words, a conversation about how we're doing working together. If you do that, you can set as a goal for yourself the best possible relationship. So, this relationship has a certain degree of potential. How do we get as close to it as possible? And the three attributes of that are it's safe, vital, life adventure bravery, and repairable. It's fixable. And of those three - safe, vital, and repairable - repairable is the one that people least experienced in. And I think a question that often unlocks a conversation that helps with repair and preemptively prevents damage is what needs to be said that hasn't yet been said. 

    Show Links:

    23m - Jul 18, 2023
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