Welcome to the Season 4 Finale, Lovebugs! I am joined by a Match Marry Mate client, Daphne, whose journey through motherhood and romance is nothing short of inspiring. Listen in as Daphne and I explore the importance of building a support network tailored to our mental health needs, the transformative power of embracing vulnerability, and the significance of nurturing our sons while also empowering them to forge their own paths.

As she shares, she teaches us so much about the intersection of womanhood and motherhood, the impact of absent fathers on maternal emotional intelligence, and the importance of fostering emotional safety in our sons. Daphne also draws connections between maternal care and romantic choice.

Stay tuned for what is coming next, and let’s spring into womanhood together! Also, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

• [2:14] - Join me for the inspiring season finale with Daphne, exploring themes of empowerment and motherhood!
• [5:58] - Daphne feels that building a support network, similar to assembling a team, is essential for mental well-being.
• [7:39] - Who is on Daphne’s emotional health team?
• [9:29] - Daphne explains that having supportive coaches and mentors leads to meaningful self-realizations.
• [12:19] - Embrace the journey, understand oneself, and avoid forced, unnecessary timelines.
• [14:45] - I prioritize empowering women's self-confidence, emphasizing strength and care.
• [18:03] - Investing in spiritual and emotional health is crucial for holistic well-being and personal growth.
• [19:32] - Daphne's journey toward inner peace involved understanding her emotions and embracing her power as a woman.
• [22:24] - Receive emotions as sources of intellect that lead to intelligence and personal growth.
• [23:12] - Daphne confesses that she knew she needed to improve her mothering skills. 
• [26:37] - I assist women in navigating relationships with men, including the connection between womanhood and motherhood.
• [29:36] - Understanding the influence we have on others, especially our children, is a key part of navigating womanhood too.
• [31:57] - Daphne explains how her transformation was organic but brought vulnerability and deeper self-reflection, aligning motherhood and dating experiences.
• [33:52] - Empowering dating mothers involves aligning expectations with parenting insights.
• [36:38] - Motherhood extends beyond mere nurture, especially for sons. 
• [39:00] - Reminded of Psalm 31, I discuss how mothering quality is also reflected in children's acknowledgment.
• [42:51] - Recognizing her maternal impact on her son's development, Daphne embraces her nurturing role as a single mom.
• [44:59] - Realizing the importance of choosing male influences on her son, Daphne prioritizes her son's development.
• [46:14] - Mothers can design their own  lives and influence their children's upbringing.
• [48:00] - I embrace my choosing power to shape my son's future positively.
• [50:36] - Daphne, throughout her motherhood journey, acknowledges the importance of celebrating small victories.
• [52:50] - As mothers, should we prioritize nurture or Hear how, prioritizing nurturing over strict discipline?
• [54:16] - I passionately support emotional safety and understanding for Black men.
• [56:35] - Managing father absenteeism, mothers often feel pressure to overcompensate.
• [58:44] - Fathers tend to impart guidance while mothers foster emotional safety that mold’s a son’s development.
• [1:01:02] - A mother's role in fostering emotional safety shapes her son's ability to communicate and builds generational emotional well-being.
• [1:04:17] - I share my example of fostering interdependence as my sons grow, transitioning from “mother” to “consultant.” 
• [1:06:08] - Balancing independence and influence is key with raising sons and in dating men.
• [1:10:59] - Valuing affirmation and authenticity, I emphasize embracing one's unique self for meaningful connections.
• [1:13:29] - Daphne embraces intentional progression, seeking alignment and connection when dating.
• [1:15:03] - Daphne feels thrilled with the progress she has made with “Mr. Sunflower.”
• [1:17:59] - Daphne enters the Sacred Sister Circle with me.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Hey, Lovebugs! Welcome to our Mother’s Day episode where I am joined by my mother, Mama Marie, for an intimate mother-daughter chat.

My mother shares four valuable gems with us:

• A storied lesson about testing the authenticity of men.
• An explanation of two Mareisms that she is most known for with my audience.
• A lesson in womanhood from her life and the impact of feminine wisdom is mine.
• One lesson that girl-moms should be sure to teach their daughters.

My audience has been asking to hear from my mama since 2022, and today I have delivered! I coach often about mother-daughter relationships, so it is only fitting that I share a glimpse of me and my mama’s relationship too. Last year, my Women’s History Month ⁠blog post⁠, analyzing The Women of Brewster of Place, really hit home for my readers. I hope this show blesses you the same as well.

I realize that some people are sad or in a mood on this day, so while I create space for that in this episode, this show is fun and light-hearted.

***If you are mourning your mother today, I pray for peace and comfort over you during this time. If you have lost a child, currently trying to conceive one, or preserving your right to have the option at this time, my heart is with you today too. May today be well with you no matter what kind of mother you had, and I pray for your strength as a mother for any lost, gone, of hoped for child(ren).***

In honor of my mother, this episode is dedicated to my late baby brother, Joshua. Enjoy!

Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to ⁠⁠drop your truth⁠⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

Connect with Me:

Website: ⁠⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠⁠ 

Instagram: ⁠⁠@matchmarrymate⁠⁠

⁠⁠Become a Patron⁠⁠

⁠⁠Book a Call⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

⁠Share a Secret Story⁠

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

In today's episode, inspired by a real-life story, we cover standards and expectations and relationship negotiation. 

Picture a promising relationship on the horizon, both parties eager to commit, but suddenly, a hurdle appears. One partner feels the weight of meeting the other's standards, while the other wonders if their expectations are too high. Sound familiar? If so, then this episode is for you!

Listen in as I dissect the nuances of negotiation, from understanding each other's perspectives to navigating potential roadblocks. We'll explore the dynamics of trust, the balance of power, and the importance of knowing what you want. Through real-life examples and expert insights, I reveal the layers of communication and negotiation needed for a strong relationship foundation.

Also, remember that if you have a secret story to share with me like someone shared with me in this episode, don't hesitate to reach out!

Time Stamps:

• [1:59] - This episode discusses relationship negotiation, trust, standards, and self-awareness.
• [4:47] - Relationship standards reveal commitment tensions.
• [5:52] - Negotiations involve mutual understanding and commitment to shared goals.
• [8:45] - Understanding relationship dynamics includes recognizing ignorance and hesitancy.
• [10:06] - Discussing the potential risks and burdens of intimacy helps set clear expectations.
• [12:46] - Hear an example from my personal story.
• [15:10] - Delay exclusivity until both partners are on the same page about the same things.
• [17:50] - Mutual protection and understanding for both genders are necessary.
• [20:08] - Cultural norms and family expectations heavily influence relationship dynamics and decision-making.
• [24:45] - Trust needs to be earned.
• [26:10] - Negotiating security involves understanding and accepting individual risks and responsibilities.
• [29:08] - It’s important to know what you want in a relationship.
• [31:44] - I end with thought-provoking questions, encouraging listeners to reflect on negotiation skills, self-protection strategies, and lessons learned.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

Become a Patron

Book a Call

Share a Secret Story

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

“Being a husband or even a male partner in a long-term relationship is not who you are as a man–it's an office you hold. It's an office that has been bestowed upon you, and you can lose it. You can't lose your manhood, but you can lose your office–any office that someone seeks to hold. ~Jeremiah

Is it true that a man showing up in a certain way can evoke new ways of being for a woman? Yes. But does femininity require the presence of man or what he can offer? No.” ~Joyice 

Intro:

Hey, Lovebugs! Join me as I list 10 practices to infuse more softness into your life. From prioritizing self-care to fostering a community of support, we'll explore how embracing softness can transform your outlook and relationships. I also share insights on the concept of the "soft life" and how it intersects with modern romance. 

Are you waiting for someone else to provide the comfort and ease you seek, or are you cultivating it within yourself? Let's unpack the dynamics of partnership and personal empowerment with a touch of vulnerability and reality!

To add male perspective, I invited my husband to the conversation to share his thoughts on the role of men in creating an environment where femininity can flourish effortlessly. Together, we will challenge conventional notions and discuss the balance between individual authenticity and relational harmony.

I pray you enjoy today’s show! I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! Looking to book a one-on-one call with me for a discounted rate? If you’re willing for parts of your session to appear as an anonymous secret story on this podcast, book your call under Awareness +Secret Story. If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

• [2:07] - I am sharing ten practices for fostering softness with self-care and accountability.
• [4:24] - I discuss the term “soft” and urge authenticity and balance in adopting its practices.
• [5:26] - #1: Prioritize yourself as the central focus of life and reality.
• [5:42] - #2: Embrace  joy authentically, acknowledging pain without resorting to superficial positivity.
• [6:32] - #3: Prioritize stillness and quietness for emotional and mental rejuvenation.
• [7:19] - #4: Honor your capacities and limits.
• [8:11] - #5: Build your community, nurture those relationships, and share mutual care.
• [9:17] - #6: Factor your patterns and moods for optimized time and energy management.
• [10:34] - #7: Embrace kindness and compassion, shaping your identity and fostering empathy.
• [11:41] - #8: Let go at the perfect time.
• [12:33] - #9: Delegate tasks that do not require your personal presence or signature.
• [13:19] - #10 Mind your money and the quality of life it can afford.
• [14:08] - Many Black modern women seek partners who complement their softness.
• [20:08] - Men can support and foster environments conducive to femininity, complementing women's commitment to it, and Jeremiah adds his male perspective.
• [22:04] - Jeremiah points out that partnerships entail roles that must be fulfilled.
• [24:37] - Jeremiah adds that authenticity fosters effortless compatibility, where partners naturally complement each other without conscious effort.
• [26:55] - True partnership embraces effortless compatibility, Jeremiah concludes, requiring genuine appreciation for each other's traits.
• [29:41] - I close with today's thought-provoking questions.

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Lovebugs, today’s show has this leading question: What difference does a year make? For my client, Kera, this answer is so much grown woman growth. She graciously shares her personal journey and reflections from December 2022 to December 2023 in learning how to be more womanly-like as she progresses in her womanhood lessons and understanding how to relate to men.

Kera, in many ways, is a quintessential client. She’s her own woman not easily swayed by others but she is attune enough to realize she does not know it all and needs guidance. She remains present for coaching and stays active with dating, determined to hold them both until she gets what she wants. She is open, curious, and teachable. She had the boldness to live her life out loud and let you know when she disagrees or thinks you’re wrong. With proper mentorship and molding, she is a client who will eventually become the kind of woman and wife she seeks to be. But as the path is navigated, there is much to learn and while she makes her share of mistakes, she always repairs and recovers brilliantly.

You will not want to miss this episode!

I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! Looking to book a one-on-one call with me for a discounted rate? If you’re willing for parts of your session to appear as an anonymous secret story on this podcast, book your call under Awareness +Secret Story. If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

• [2:18] - I share a story from my client Kera today!
• [4:38] - We will see Kera’s growth over a year.
• [7:44] - Kera expresses how a post triggered her realization about a potential relationship.
• [9:37] - A lack of foresight about Accra's size and opportunities for potential encounters caused Kera to not consider running into a man she was dating.
• [10:29] - I emphasize the importance of a clear proposal within the context of my post.
• [12:35] - I question why the possibility of encountering Mr. DC wasn't considered beforehand..
• [14:33] - I acknowledge some disagreement between Kera and I but also value her honesty.
• [17:41] - I suggest to Kera that she check in with Mr. DC's feelings.
• [21:37] - I teach how to have a single but wife-minded perspective, including how men usually approach their plan for marriage. 
• [24:17] - It's important to consider possible consequences of your actions when dating.
• [28:28] - Kera reflects on a tense moment with Mr. DC and shares what she learned from it.
• [30:56] - Experience teaches us valuable lessons about men, ourselves, and relationships.
• [33:08] - I discuss the importance of learning from mistakes and learning from them.
• [36:50] - Mentorship and guidance while dating can be incredibly helpful.
• [38:15] - Kera seeks guidance on gracefully declining a gift she won't use, prioritizing emotional sensitivity for her date.
• [38:55] - I offer language on how Kera can explain that the gift is not her style while expressing appreciation to her date.
• [40:16] - I teach how to approach conversations about not liking a gift a man has given, emphasizing the importance of her expressings desire for a meaningful connection, sharing the information he needs to know; I also prepare for possible responses.
• [42:03] - I add that she should acknowledge the effort, offer feedback without overwhelming him, and communicate her appreciation over material specifics.
• [44:33] - It's crucial to communicate preferences in gifts, acknowledging oversights, and nurturing healthy relationships.
• [47:27] - Kera's accountability and self-awareness are admirable, leading to better navigation and growth; what a difference a year can make! 

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

"You want to determine not by pressuring a man or casting him to the novel that you've already written out, or even by over interrogating him, but through getting to know him over time." - Joyice

“When it comes to a man assessing the women he's dating for marriage, you want to be his vision, not his reason.” - Joyice

Intro:

What is Wife-Minded Singleness, and how can it help you on your dating journey?  If you are enjoying your single season right now, but have marriage on your radar, this episode has your name on it!

I narrate some real-life examples for you straight from the trenches of dating and relationships. From ex encounters to heated arguments, these stories shed light on how certain behaviors can either build or break a budding connection.

These stories are not to rain on your parade. Rather, to offer guidance on how to navigate the dating landscape with grace and intentionality. It is necessary to learn how to strike a balance between your own authenticity while also keeping an eye on the prize.

As you continue on your journey through womanhood, remember that you are not just a single woman; you are a woman with the power to shape your own destiny AND someone’s future wife. Let’s discuss ways to embrace your singleness without remaining stuck in it.

I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! Looking to book a one-on-one call with me for a discounted rate? If you’re willing for parts of your session to appear as an anonymous secret story on this podcast, book your call under Awareness +Secret Story. If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

• [2:21] - I am discussing the single woman mentality.
• [4:15] - Embracing singlehood is fine, but be mindful of your future relationship desires.
• [5:27] - Men assess desired traits for marriage just as women do.
• [8:21] - Maintain your boundaries to prevent exes from jeopardizing new connections.
• [10:33] - Disrespectful behavior in conflict can derail commitment; readiness for marriage goes beyond words and desires.
• [11:38] - Choose clarity and avoid over-identifying with singleness.
• [13:57] - Prioritize developing your wife persona alongside your womanhood identity.
• [15:28] - I detail how established relationships with Jeremiah's family unknowingly influenced some of his decision to choose me.
• [20:38] - Jeremiah shares a clip of his experience that I catalog as “blindful ignorance” on a previous partner’s behalf.
• [23:13] - Align your actions with future wife aspirations, not faking intentions.
• [24:23] - I offer a Ready to Love character as an example of the importance of assessing a man's readiness for marriage by observing his lifestyle and actions, not just his words.
• [26:02] - Before seeking marriage, women should embody the qualities of a wife, and men must commit beforehand.

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Welcome to Season 4: Springing into Womanhood!

We’re delving into the heart of womanhood, exploring themes like love, compassion, acceptance, and more. Join me as we navigate through various stages of womanhood, from the possibilities of youth to the wisdom of maturity.

We’re kicking off the season in this show with the importance of prioritizing personal growth before committing to relationships. I share insights from my coaching practice around embracing your identity as a single woman before stepping into the role of a wife or mother. I explore several milestones in a woman's life, from first experiences to establishing independence and defining personal boundaries, and I reflect on my own journey as a thirty-something year-young woman. 

Finally, I teach you how to create your "female prototype," a vision of the woman you aspire to become. Drawing inspiration from female archetypes and personal values, we craft a blueprint for our journey through womanhood! 

Happy Spring, and happy listening! I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! Looking to book a one-on-one call with me for a discounted rate? If you’re willing for parts of your session to appear as an anonymous secret story on this podcast, book your call under Awareness +Secret Story. If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

• [0:38] - Season 4 explores some stages of womanhood.
• [4:57] - I am emphasizing the importance of individuality and identity in relationships.
• [6:16] - I encourage women to engage in mentorship and peer relationships for personal growth.
• [8:12] - Women under 25 experience emerging adulthood characterized by growth and transition.
• [10:02] - In your late teens to early twenties, prioritize self-exploration and growth.
• [13:05] - I argue that investing in first experiences and connections cultivates a foundation for navigating life's challenges.
• [14:33] - Key milestones in womanhood, including first experiences and self-development, shape personal growth and fulfillment.
• [17:25] - I reflect on how transitioning into my late 30s brings deeper connections with older women, offering wisdom and guidance.
• [20:06] - I celebrate first love, self-care routines, setting boundaries, and career milestones as significant events in a woman's life.
• [21:50] - I provide a shoutout to women at 39, as they reach a peak in various life aspects.
• [24:04] - I point out that understanding oneself through milestones adds richness to life, aiding in balanced womanhood.
• [26:49] - Maya Angelou's “Phenomenal Woman” poem celebrates the confidence and experience of maturing womanhood.
• [28:34] - Between ages 28 and 35, particularly at 33, young adulthood solidifies identity and intimacy.
• [30:08] - I assert that establishing identity before serious relationships fosters healthy intimacy skills, vital for commitment and communication.
• [32:52] - I explain why it's important to take time to establish yourself and develop intimacy skills that enhance dating and relationships in adulthood.
• [34:09] - Learn how creating a female prototype aids in navigating womanhood, evolving with you through different seasons.
• [37:34] - I encourage you to identify with a woman prototype, whether realized or aspirational.
• [40:28] - Reflect on diverse women in media and personal experiences to envision your own womanhood journey.
• [43:27] - Craft your own womanhood prototype, envisioning who she is and how you'll become her!
• [46:28] - In closing, I remind you to reflect on your ideal womanhood prototype and commit to evolving into her authentically.

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Links & Literature Mentioned:

• Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou 
• Your Sacred Circle: These Three Women by Joyice Robinson Myers

“We should always make space for our own expressions of womanhood, just as it relates to who you are in and of yourself, and not any roles or titles that you hold.” - Joyice

“...There are different seasons of womanhood where one expression in this season doesn't make sense in another season. Womanhood is seasonal.” - Joyice

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Welcome back, lovebugs! I am in the studio with Vanessa as we share a read of our article titled The Kind of Love That Black Women Make: Female Capital & Cost, inspired by Terry McMillian’s Waiting to Exhale (1995). We offer practical wisdom for Black women seeking love and agency, and survey the various capital gains and losses of four Black female characters amid their romantic choices and situations. The 

Also, if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode! Looking to book a one-on-one call with me for a discounted rate? If you’re willing for parts of your session to appear as an anonymous secret story on this podcast, book your call under Awareness +Secret Story. To keep this podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate

Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Hey, Lovebugs! Join me for an episode centered around womanhood, dating, and the power of intention. Today, Alexandra shares three dating examples where she's applied a new level of intention to gain better results and safeguard from premature investment. In it, she breaks down her intention, strategy, and outcome. 

Example No. 1: Alexandra sets clear boundaries, makes the most of her time, and manages tardiness. We discuss the importance of establishing your dating standards and boundaries in advance, protecting yourself from unnecessary disappointments.

Example No. 2: Alexandra builds pre-date rapport, adjusting to a new energy (from No. 1) and balances excitement and anticipation. (Spoiler alert: Alexandra's got a second date lined up!)

Example No. 3: Alexandra previews her strategy, adjusting from lessons learned in her first two dating examples. She adds playful interaction that builds anticipation, and I share insights on cultivating excitement between dates.

Happy Women’s History Month, and happy listening! I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you! See you in Season 4!

Time Stamps:

• [0:42] - In honor of Women’s History Month, I shout out to Lena Waithe.
• [2:42] - This episode is all about applying intention to your dating strategies as a woman.
• [5:24] - I share real-life dating examples from a client, Alexandra.
• [6:41] - Alexandra describes her first date, which she limits to one hour despite lateness.
• [8:12] - I emphasize Alexandra's considerations, outlining key factors like minimal pre-date interaction, short notice, and time constraints.
• [10:16] - I advocate for setting time frames in dating, shielding against disappointment by integrating dates into routine.
• [12:41] - Alexandra dives into her second example, which went well and led to a second date.
• [15:02] - I point out how Alexandra discerns differences in dating scenarios, noting rapport, timelines, and personalized standards.
• [17:42] - I highlight the impact of a requested dinner date, advocating for intentional, strategic dating with confidence.
• [19:57] - Alexandra shares her third tip: plan an engaging date, incorporate strategic elements based on prior interactions and anticipate a positive experience.
• [21:35] - I conclude the coaching session with the importance of anticipation.

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Hey, Lovebugs! Join me as I share a story shared with me from someone facing the nuance of local dating after typically preferring long-distance relationships. She seeks guidance on determining the right amount of time to invest.

We unpack the balance of personal time, the challenges of early-stage dating, and the importance of not losing oneself in the process. I share practical advice and teach about the dynamics of male competition and female choice in the world of mammals. Join me as I dissect this story and traverse through the landscape of modern relationships.

Happy Women’s History Month, and happy listening! I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

• [0:46] - I honor Dr. Carla Hayden to celebrate Women’s History Month!
• [4:36] - Navigating local dating challenges, this woman questions time investment and managing boundaries.
• [5:15] - Guard your personal time fiercely; don't sacrifice it for early-stage relationships.
• [7:28] - I encourage establishing equity in dating by allocating time fairly among potential partners.
• [9:43] - Women tend to become attached to the level of time and energy we give which needs to be managed.
• [10:02] - In the early stages of dating, assess men objectively, avoiding favoritism based on attention.
• [11:32] - Recognize male competition dynamics and avoid rigging the dating game.
• [14:21] - Hear why I suggest rejecting the notion of a "front runner" in dating.
• [15:55] - Listen to Katt Williams say that talent supports elevation, and those with it should move forward.
• [16:07] - Understand that the concept of selection and assessing the quality of potential partners is important.
• [19:34] - In the dating competition, understanding your worth and setting standards dictates what you attract.
• [21:53] - I point out how male competition for female access is ingrained in mammalian mating systems.
• [24:11] - In the animal kingdom, gender roles are distinct: males compete, and females choose.
• [25:15] - With mate selection, females are choosier due to their higher reproductive investment.
• [28:45] - Females in the animal kingdom are also usually more likely to provide parental care.

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Hey, Lovebugs! Today, we have a curated coaching session where a client and I explore being a woman and the complementary dance with male energy. We're answering the question: What happens when a man requests more time without exclusivity?

Set in Italy and Paris, my client learns how to navigate the delicate balance between dating while traveling as a digital nomad.

Happy Women’s History Month, and happy listening! I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

[0:48] - I shout out to Quinta Brunson in honor of Women’s History Month and recommend her book.

[2:51] - This pop-up episode is about owning your womanhood.

[5:15] - What do you do when he asks for more time?

[6:45] - Considering Mr. X's suggestion, my client contemplates altering her travel plans to stay in Paris.

[9:04] - I encourage the client to reconsider Mr. X's suggestion about staying longer in Europe.

[10:41] - I advise my client to communicate her need for clarity.

[12:49] - I encourage her to revisit the conversation to determine the strength of Mr. X's proposal.

[15:20] - I insist that she recognizes her efforts; she has earned the opportunity presented by Mr. X.

[16:54] - The client expresses excitement about the fairy-tale-like experience with Mr. X.

[19:08] - I reiterate the importance of clarifying and validating a man's proposal, ensuring substance and direction.

[20:43] - A man should explain and define his commitments, requests, invitations, and proposals.

[22:50] - Womanhood is expensive!

[24:47] - I offer a word of caution: Do not give too much to a man without him showing care and effort!

[26:26] - Courage and care are your friends!

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Literature Mentioned:

• She Memes Well by Quinta Brunson

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

As always, at the close of each season, Jeremiah and I unite in the studio to offer you a bonus show! Welcome in, everyone! In closing Season 3, we're recapping all seven stories, and this episode is a must-listen for everyone!  

We start with the importance of emotional support beyond physical attraction, then explore attraction dynamics, advising both men and women on recognizing and valuing each other beyond the surface.

We tackle the timing of realizations and developments in men, providing insights for women to navigate relationships. Jeremiah reflects on the evolution of clarity with age, highlighting the peak of self-discovery in the 30s and “peak man” at 40. We also discuss the significance of a woman's communication tone, men choosing marriage for fatherhood, traditional gender roles, Black community progress, effective communication, and the essence of leadership in a relationship. We cap it off by exploring vulnerability and resilience in men..

Tune in, lovebugs, for blessings and valuable takeaways as we navigate the complexities of relationships with humor, honesty, and the unique perspectives of both genders. Last, I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! As always, my role is to provide educational support and guidance, not clinical or mental health advice. If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

• [0:34] - Jeremiah and I are wrapping up Season 3 with male and married-couple perspective on this season's stories!
• [3:31] - Jeremiah argues that enduring physical chemistry is important in relationships, yet not the sole foundation; valuing women beyond appearance is crucial.
• [6:55] - Believing in internal values, Jeremiah prioritizes curiosity over external desires, establishing goals before assessing compatibility.
• [11:29] - Jeremiah points out that, with men, clarity evolves with age; in the 30s, self-discovery peaks, followed by applying lessons, solidifying one's sense of self by 35.
• [14:16] - From his current perspective, Jeremiah believes that peak manhood is around 40, with proper care in career and health.
• [16:09] - A mindful woman seeks a different response by understanding men's wiring and evoking uniqueness.
• [18:03] - Jeremiah adds that mindful communication with a softer energy brings calmness, fostering necessary value for a man.
• [21:13] - Reflecting on a scene from Waiting to Exhale, I explore how men can make women feel safe emotionally.
• [24:29] - Providing distinctive comfort and relief requires deep understanding, and mastery in this fosters an irreplaceable connection.
• [28:23] - Jeremiah argues that building a community involves seeing Black men as “the project,” molding and uplifting each other.
• [31:52] - Exploring traditional gender norms, I address inconsistencies and seek insights for bridging the gap.
• [33:19] - Tensions arise from income expectations, Jeremiah discusses; mutual support mechanisms are key.
• [36:11] - Men should address career sacrifices in traditional roles, offering some financial support to ease impact on women's careers.
• [39:14] - Emphasizing reciprocity, I discuss the importance of adapting expectations and minimizing sacrifices in relationships.
• [43:39] - Jeremiah points out how keeping things balanced in relationships means showing gratitude and being responsible with what you offer.
• [46:09] - It's important to genuinely appreciate each other to steer clear of resentment; keep those lines of communication open and aim for a high standard.
• [48:58] - I point to the importance of valuing women beyond just motherhood.
• [52:01] - Jeremiah feels that tough conversations about potential downsides of having children are crucial for making decisions in a relationship.
• [55:04] - I argue that men should be proactive in understanding their reproductive health, considering their fertility challenges.
• [58:27] - It's important for women to find the right balance between giving and receiving appreciation.
• [1:00:24] - I point out how women setting the tone involves embodying a calm energy, providing valuable information about a man's nature.
• [1:03:15] - Jeremiah argues that righteous rejection involves acknowledging current limitations, maintaining integrity, and prioritizing personal growth before commitment.
• [1:05:28] - Women's power lies in setting clear and consistent standards; maintaining consistency and reasonableness is so important.
• [1:07:39] - Jeremiah asserts that consistency earns respect and honest communication about readiness fosters understanding in relationships.
• [1:10:22] - Jeremiah argues for women to remain true to their authentic selves, as feminine power can skillfully de-escalate situations without confrontation.
• [1:15:57] - Jeremiah adds that using feminine power to connect with a man's admired qualities showcases the ability to influence subtly.
• [1:17:26] - Shifting a man's energy involves triggering protective instincts, emphasizing feminine influence for a balanced response.
• [1:20:25] - Jeremiah states that a man can hold the office of leader outside of his money.
• [1:23:39] - Jeremiah adds that part of evaluating someone starts with their ability to generate money, revealing work ethic and willingness to take initiative.
• [1:24:45] - I point out that a man's sense of leadership extends beyond financial success; it influences the well-being of women connected to him.
• [1:27:06] - Order and structure, child orientation, and vision are important aspects of a man's contribution to a family.
• [1:29:02] - I argue that humility plays a crucial role in a man's approach and readiness for a committed relationship or marriage.
• [1:31:20] - Jeremiah declares that in complementary partnerships, shared vision and humility are vital.
• [1:34:29] - Jeremiah talks about assessing humility, arguing that it involves observing reactions to new ideas.
• [1:37:34] - Evaluating, Jeremiah adds, is, in fact, essential because a leader's ability to recognize limits and seek help prevents difficult situations.
• [1:40:11] - Jeremiah refers to a celebrity couple interview that reveals the importance of support and influence in relationships.
• [1:43:41] - Men develop physical resilience through sparring, while women hone emotional resilience, which fosters mutual care.
• [1:46:45] - Jeremiah reminds us that emotional vulnerability can become a weapon during arguments.
• [1:49:07] - Listen as Jeremiah contends that a single instance of emotional misuse can have lasting impacts, urging understanding of men's vulnerability.

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Welcome to our first Secret Story! We’re listening into a heartfelt story that a listener shared with me about navigating a challenging moment in her relationship. Today’s episode unfolds with an instructional lesson on relationship skills and tools, touching on the importance of emotional regulation and effective communication.

Join me as I teach the difference between skills and tools but discuss how they work hand-in-hand. This listener's journey showcases some benefits to being properly skilled and equipped for romantic, healthy relationships. As we explore the connection between emotional maturity and building a strong foundation, you'll learn some gems to create lasting intimacy. I also quote my homeboy, Dana, to add male perspective.

Happy Women’s History Month, and happy listening! I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

As always, my role is to provide educational support and guidance, not clinical or mental health advice. If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

• [0:49] - I pay respects to Dr. Anna J. Cooper in honor of Women’s History Month.
• [4:02] - I'm sharing a Secret Story from a listener about her relationship. 
• [4:59] - Today’s story covers a listener’s use of nonviolent communication and emotional regulation.
• [7:14] - I share my excitement about stories empowering Black women in relationships.
• [8:42] - I explain the difference between a skill and a tool.
• [11:34] - The listener shares how her guy values open communication, praising her work.
• [14:16] - Dana shares his male perspective: For lasting connections, build on a solid, strong emotional foundation.

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Literature Mentioned:

• Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our seventh and final experience. I welcome Taccarra Davenport who shares her marriage-to-divorce story while delving into the complexities of relationships, societal pressures, and the impact of religious teachings.

Taccarra also opens up about her personal struggles, detailing moments of challenge and the emotional toll of unhealthy relationships. We discuss vulnerability, communication, and understanding each other's needs, and as we unfold her journey, Taccarra's realization of relationship patterns and her decision to file for divorce becomes a poignant moment. Separation. Tune in for an episode filled with wisdom, vulnerability, and the shared journey towards healthier relationships.

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth! I also invite you to enroll in the Nurturing My Self-Esteem Mini-Course or grab the Feminine Identity Bundle.

Time Stamps:

• [2:23] - My guest Taccarra and I discuss divorce and its aftermath.
• [5:06] - I respect Taccarra’s balance between openness and discretion.
• [7:29] - Taccarra helps professional women redefine success and discover authentic identities.
• [9:50] - Taccarra's shares about meeting her ex-husband to divorce with lessons learned.
• [12:38] - Taccarra recounts the beginning of her relationship, starting in the military in Korea.
• [15:23] - Taccarra's transition to a LD relationship after moving to Maryland for nursing school.
• [17:56] - Taccarra discusses the logistical challenges of her relationship.
• [19:51] - Although Taccarra underwent pre-marital counseling, the identified areas for improvement ultimately led to divorce.
• [20:49] - I discuss the Church's role in addressing challenges faced by couples and the need for comprehensive ongoing support.
• [24:39] - Taccarra reflects on the Church's role in her premarital counseling, noting the need for more nuanced guidance.
• [27:18] - Taccarra still feels that she overlooked crucial flags before marriage.
• [29:03] - Taccarra shares her mother's guidance on relationships during her college years.
• [31:22] - Taccarra reveals her lack of exposure to relationships, stemming from her parents' separation and a focus on education.
• [33:29] - The timing of advice, depending on the context and setting, is very important.
• [36:13] - I delve into the psychological aspects of religious messaging.
• [38:05] - Taccarra discusses the challenges in adjusting to married life.
• [40:17] - We explore the profound impact of words and their weight in marriage.
• [43:56] - Taccarra reflects on the unintended impact of her words, realizing the significance of making her husband feel needed.
• [46:14] - Hear Taccarra expand upon her definition of need, emphasizing the significance of community.
• [48:04] - Hear about how their marriage initially improved in Germany.
• [50:59] - Despite a positive period, old patterns resurfaced.
• [52:35] - I stress the importance of journaling for reflection.
• [54:57] - Taccarra speaks on researching family history to consciously break harmful patterns.
• [56:19] - Taccarra details how, recognizing the persistent patterns, she opted against enduring more, leading to a divorce decision.
• [58:46] - We discuss how being stuck in the marital home during the divorce process brought emotional challenges and trauma.
• [1:01:18] - Navigating through the divorce process, changing names, and dealing with inquiries became overwhelming emotionally for Taccarra.
• [1:03:17] - I describe how I faced the emotional task of sorting through years of pictures.
• [1:05:04] - Taccarra discusses marriage photos, facing pandemic-induced loneliness and emotional challenges.
• [1:07:55] - Taccarra expresses enthusiastic gratitude for therapists and dating coaches.
• [1:10:45] - Taccarra identifies inconsistencies as having been the biggest red flag.
• [1:12:17] - Despite red flags, Taccarra continued, drawn by her husband's potential.
• [1:15:40] - Charismatic nature made Taccarra overlook red flags, relying on assumptions.
• [1:21:43] - Taccarra draws connections limited interaction with her father and he need for consistent male guidance and affirmation.
• [1:24:49] - Taccarra argues that being part of a community imparts wisdom, enabling one to learn from others' experiences.
• [1:27:04] - Taccarra has learned that her purpose is to create community and mentor women.
• [1:29:40] - The Church lacked teachings on dating for fun, leaving a gap between being single and marriage.
• [1:32:24] - Marriage shouldn't lack fun, and the journey to true happiness shouldn't take years!
• [1:33:14] - Taccarra enters the Sacred Sisterhood Circle with me.
• 
  

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Connect with Taccarra:

• Her Website
• Her Instagram
• Her Podcast 
• Her Book: A Letter to My Sister

Literature & Links Mentioned

• Her Inevitable Divorce Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}
• 13: I Feel My Power

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Happy Valentine’s Day, Lovebugs! Let’s embrace our Lover-Girl Archetypes with some romantic first-date GONE RIGHT energy. Who else to bring us these vibes but one of my favorite lover-girl clients, Laurie. Then, I activate my Sage Archetype to share practicality, strategy, and guidance. This date isn't just about the lovey-dovey stuff, though. It involves repair and redemption–a pair of relationship skills necessary for strong connections and healthy relationships. We'll also explore a pre-date ritual, emphasizing mutual effort in the dating process.

I share relationship insight about not jumping to conclusions, listening to your intuition, and giving a man a fair chance. We dissect the details, stressing the importance of holding a man to his word and practicing empathy and understanding. It's not just about grand gestures; it's about setting the stage for a meaningful and responsible connection. Stay tuned for insights into building smarter, safer, and happier romantic connections with Laurie and her date, Mr. Banana. 

If you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

• [1:02] - Laurie will be recounting a dreamy date with a twist: a story of repair and redemption.
• [5:03] - I set the stage for Laurie's romantic date, repair work, and pre-date energy.
• [8:32] - I share some important housekeeping notes before diving into Laurie's story.
• [10:12] - Laurie details her date, revealing a change in plans, romantic gestures, and meaningful conversation.
• [14:44] - Mr. Banana's date involves a gentle approach, exploring faith, family dynamics, and romantic energy.
• [18:03] - I intervene, advising Laurie not to settle but to balance romance while ensuring a meaningful connection.
• [19:42] - Laurie explains why she gave Mr. Banana a chance, expressing openness and acknowledging personal growth.
• [21:56] - I offer guidance in negotiating and setting terms.
• [24:47] - Questions are raised about Mr. Banana's change in plans and delivering on commitments.
• [26:55] - Noting the importance of giving chances, I explore the need for answers and fair evaluations.
• [29:31] - I acknowledge past experiences, encouraging fair judgment and giving each man a chance to prove himself.
• [31:47] - I advise Laurie to listen to her intuition and check assumptions, and I offer guidance on the redemption process.
• [35:09] - Teaching pre-date rituals, I teach intentional conversations, negotiations, and agreements.
• [38:31] - I close on the power of repair, getting what you want, and maintaining feminine wisdom.

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our sixth experience. I welcome Shaunice, whom you may remember from season 2, back to the show today! This time, she is joined by her husband Rashad to share an update on their married life and insights into Muslim marriage. Shaunice and I kickoff the episode with her journey of learning and applying vulnerability and femininity skills in her relationship, which has now evolved into a marriage with Rashad.

We also discuss the value of proactive efforts in marriage and prevention over intervention. Shaunice shares the significance of speaking to a partner with respect and inspiration rather than defeating or insulting behavior. The conversation underscores the role of women and wives in inspiring their partners and the positive outcomes that arise when approaching relationships with an understanding of each other's needs. Then, Rashad joins us to offer a male perspective on marriage and his experience in witnessing Shaunice undergo relationship and marriage coaching. 

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth! I also invite you to enroll in the Nurturing My Self-Esteem Mini-Course or grab the Feminine Identity Bundle.

Time Stamps:

• [3:07] - Shaunice returns!
• ​​[6:16] - This episode includes the male perspective on relationships and marriage.
• [9:00] - I highlight the power of taking a pause and leaning into femininity when communicating.
• [11:35] - Shaunice shares her favorite story involving navigating tense situations.
• [13:08] - I cover expressing needs and desires to a caring partner without penalizing them.
• [15:07] - I praise women's power to positively influence and maintain intimacy.
• [17:52] - Trust in the dynamic of masculine and feminine energies in relationships is important.
• [19:42] - Marriage assumes adopting certain ideals, traditions, customs, and family dynamics.
• [21:37] - Shaunice shares how being accepted as a daughter-in-law mattered so much to her.
• [22:38] - I relate to Shaunice with a story about my dmother-in-love.
• [24:28] - How does Shaunice feel about being a wife?
• [26:27] - Learn how Shaunice is actively shaping her marriage.
• [29:51] - Shaunice highlights the distinct aspects of living as Muslims, embracing roles and mutual support in marriage.
• [31:04] - I express appreciation for Shaunice's faith.
• [34:06] - Shaunice shares her parenting approach and how she addressed her daughters' concerns amid life changes.
• [36:54] - Shaunice enters the Sacred Sisterhood Circle with me.
• [38:28] - I introduce Rashad to the show.
• [39:54] - Rashad identifies open-mindedness, kindness, and love for Black people as important traits in a wife.
• [40:10] - I interject with the first lesson: How cultural pride can foster genuine connection.
• [41:19] - How did Shaunice measure up to what Rashad wants in a wife?
• [42:06] - I interject with the second lesson: How important listening is inside romantic relationships.
• [44:41] - Rashad discusses his initial concerns and how to navigate friction.
• [47:29] - I interject with the third lesson: How attitude and energy is received by a man.
• [51:23] - I reflect on my impressions of Rashad when I first met him, and he, too, describes his initial impressions of me.
• [53:07] - I interject with the fourth lesson: How men respond to support in relationships.
• [56:27] - Learn about the structured partnership in Muslim marriage.
• [1:00:32] - Rashad acknowledges the positive shifts in his wife's demeanor and emotional processing through her relationship and marriage coaching.
• [1:02:33] - I interject with the fifth lesson: The value of softness and femininity independent of external influences.
• [1:07:28] - How is married life for Rashad?
• [1:08:53] - I appreciate the significance of starting a marriage on a solid foundation.
• [1:11:22] - Rashad humorously reflects on the consummation act, relating to Islamic principles.
• [1:14:36] - Rashad joins the Brother-Sister Circle with me. 

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Literature & Links Mentioned

• Their New Marriage Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our fifth experience. I am joined by Laurie. a current Match Marry Mate™ client, who is sharing her healing journey with us today. We have a sweet and tender conversation about healing and growth, unveiling stories of self-discovery, family dynamics, and the intricacies of dating.

Laurie shares about growing up in a Kenyan household and draws comparisons between gender norms in Kenya and America, her painful realization of being labeled the "pump and dump" girl, and her inspiring path of embracing femininity and healing her relationship with her mother.

Laurie’s authenticity is a beacon, and as the conversation reaches its emotional peak, stay tuned because she and I share a genuine, heartfelt moment. In our Sacred Sistah Circle, Laurie's voice takes a sober tone, so put your extra listening ears on for a moving conclusion.

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth! I also invite you to enroll in the Nurturing My Self-Esteem Mini-Course or grab the Feminine Identity Bundle.

Time Stamps:

• [3:04] - I am with the one and only Laurie!
• [5:41] - Laurie shares how she discovered me through a mutual friend.
• [7:21] - Laurie reveals what prompted her to join Match Marry Mate™.
• [9:20] - Hear Laurie discuss her Kenyan upbringing.
• [12:30] - Laurie describes the male-driven dating culture where women assume passivity.
• [16:33] - Laurie notes the difference in social interactions between Kenya and the U.S.
• [19:59] - Laurie reflects on some of her dating challenges.
• [21:12] - Laurie discusses her experiences with dating Black men and her realization about being the "pump and dump" girl.
• [24:01] - I helped Laurie redefine her role as an emotional hospital, prompting self-reflection through a movie assignment.
• [25:32] - Laurie reflects on investing emotional currency in a man for over two years, realizing the need for boundaries.
• [28:55] - Laurie reflects on a relationship she calls sad and comical, involving minimal dates and unequal emotional investment.
• [31:07] - Laurie likens a troubled relationship to a non-healing wound, caused by constant aggravation and avoidance.
• [34:01] - Laurie acknowledges a strained relationship with her mom, opting for coping mechanisms instead of healing.
• [35:55] - I explain an exercise in ranking universal desires, highlighting the importance of addressing family issues.
• [38:51] - Laurie reflects on her mother's challenges, understanding her pain.
• [41:02] - Hear about Laurie's journey of mending the strained relationship with her mom.
• [45:41] - I point out the importance of connecting with one's maternal lineage for a fulfilling womanhood experience.
• [48:04] - I commend Laurie's remarkable transformation in nine months.
• [50:45] - Laurie shares her balance masculine and feminine energies, recognizing learned and inherent qualities.
• [52:55] - Laurie embraces her feminine wisdom, intuition, and visualization.
• [54:10] - I emphasize the importance of wisdom in knowing when to embrace masculine and feminine energies.
• [56:59] - Laurie finds clarity and reconciliation in the feminine and masculine archetypes, embracing her lovergirl and huntress.
• [59:19] - Laurie enters the Sacred Sisterhood Circle with me. 

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Literature & Links Mentioned

• Her Healing Journey Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}
• Female Archetypes 

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Welcome to another episode of season 3, lovebirds! I have a great conversation in store for you today, as I am joined by Timka, a current Match Marry Mate™ client, and we are engaging in a conversation centered around the transformative power that extends beyond her dating experiences, although she will be sharing the details of that aspect today. Over the past year, I've witnessed Timka undergo a profound shift in her mindset, dedication to personal growth, self-reflection, reshaping of her social circles, and the establishment of deep connections and intimacy with a male companion.

From honing personal, communication, and relationship skills, she has embraced a holistic transformation, evolving into the woman she is today. Timka candidly discusses her dating journey, the valuable lessons she learned, and how she gracefully bid farewell to the "Mr. Nice Guy" archetype (in a positive way). You'll hear her narrate her journey of breaking free from people-pleasing tendencies and acquiring the ability to engage in assertive conversations. Timka also shares real-life instances, offering a play-by-play of her interactions and communication with the last man she dated.

Our conversation delves into topics such as emotional regulation, the dynamics of masculine and feminine partnerships, navigating relationships with men in various stages of development, and the art of righteous rejection. Join us for an insightful exploration into the world of personal growth and dating transformation with Timka, and don't forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

• [2:51] - I am joined today by Timka, a client whose transformative journey is inspiring!
• [6:51] - Timka shares pivotal moments that sparked self-realization.
• [9:48] - Hear Timka detail entering the dating scene, facing challenges, and reflecting on lessons learned.
• [11:34] - Timka details her dating experience that led to her discovering self-worth.
• [14:42] - Timka embraced being single, later seeking guidance from me for transformative dating experiences.
• [17:17] - I commend Timka for her accountability for past mistakes in relationships and value her resilience.
• [19:09] - Timka acknowledges the challenge of being comfortable that not everyone will like her.
• [21:03] - Timka tells the importance of recognizing misalignments and asking important questions when dating.
• [23:28] - I agree, focusing on effective communication, particularly listening.
• [26:22] - Timka likens herself to a butterfly, as she has matured and grown in her dating journey.
• [28:51] - I highlight women's emotional intelligence as a superpower but warn immediate reactions.
• [31:19] - Don't let your superpower be your kryptonite!
• [32:59] - Timka shares explains importance of giving men space to process emotions without taking it personally.
• [35:39] - Timka asserts her boundaries, navigates confrontations with grace, and discovers the power of her femininity.
• [38:11] - Timka describes a mature and open relationship with communication, understanding, and the potential for a future connection.
• [39:41] - Femininity requires a lot of energy!
• [41:45] - I applaud Timka for understanding men as humans, balancing energies, and fostering connection and intimacy in relationships.
• [44:38] - Hear Timka give a specific example of how she demonstrates self-love by showing up for herself.
• [48:38] - Learn why Timka values silence for personal processing.
• [50:00] - I highlight Timka's skill in resolving conflicts.
• [53:05] - Timka shares an incident where she handled disagreement maturely.
• [55:34] - Patience and understanding in gaining intimacy is powerful, as is navigating male nature.
• [57:47] - I teach on a man's capacity to receive feminine energy and how to position oneself wisely in a relationship.
• [59:19] - I discuss the importance of defining and upholding personal standards and femininity, independent of a man's role.
• [1:01:14] - Timka appreciates her friend for having recognized that he had self-discovery and growth to do.
• [1:04:03] - I agree, applauding him for his honesty in recognizing his development needs and valuing Timka's space and time.
• [1:07:05] - Timka joins me in the Sacred Sisterhood Circle.

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Links & Literature Mentioned:

• Her Relationship Gems Episode Guide
• His Dating Pivot
• My Black Marriage Research 
• Client Story #1
• Masculine Archetypes
• Bids for Connection

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our third experience. I am back in the studio to interview Kaity Rodriguez with an update on her 100 Dates in Houston Blog Series. We discuss Dates 7-10 from her blog and her unexpected dating dry spell that brought a range of emotions that Kaity is ready to share.

We walk through her dating experience with Mr. Hairline and zoom in on a beautiful exchange around the topic of women being valued for their individuality and not just their potential motherhood. We touch on Kaity's memorable "Waiting to Exhale" moment and the balance between holding onto a dead situation and bailing out too quickly.

Join us as we explore Kaity's challenge of discerning genuine interest from a desire to fill a slot. We reflect, we laugh, and uncover the nuanced dynamics that define modern dating, with shared struggles, empowering moments, and insightful lessons!

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth! I also invite you to enroll in the Nurturing My Self-Esteem Mini-Course or grab the Feminine Identity Bundle.

Time Stamps:

• [4:03] - Kaity joins me today, sharing updates on her 100 Dates in Houston.
• [10:12] - I discuss the support prompt from date number seven.
• [12:20] - I explore the intersection of womanhood and gender roles.
• [14:19] - Kaity explains how she took initiative and broke tradition.
• [17:16] - Kaity challenges traditional passivity in dating.
• [20:55] - It's important for women marrying later to be valued beyond just potential motherhood.
• [23:43] - Kaity finds relief in communication.
• [26:34] - Kaity reflects on her date having admitted to seeing other women.
• [27:53] - How does one navigate the balance between avoiding wasted time and giving someone a chance?
• [30:16] - Balancing conflicting feelings, Kaity finds solace in patiently observing and avoiding hasty judgments and decisions.
• [32:23] - I reflect on “He's Just Not That Into You,” contrasting hope and disappointment.
• [34:24] - Kaity resists old habits, embracing discomfort, and adopts a "wait and see" approach.
• [36:40] - In the context of women's empowerment, I explore the impact of dating behaviors on others' feelings.
• [39:48] - Kaity highlights the significance of timely communication for maintaining a meaningful connection.
• [41:23] - I discuss managing expectations around response times and the role of open communication.
• [43:56] - Hear an example involving missed with my husband, highlighting differing expectations on responsiveness.
• [45:20] - Kaity emphasizes the importance of responsive communication, reflecting individual needs for connection.
• [50:59] - Kaity notes the importance of maintaining excitement and depth in communication.
• [53:20] - Kaity reflects on two emotional conversations, noting the challenge of balancing self-assertion and grace in mature communication.
• [56:13] - Kaity's journey hits a milestone in her empowerment and self-commitment.
• [1:02:39] - Kaity faced disappointment when attempts to deepen the connection fell flat.
• [1:05:34] - Kaity had to reassess the connection's viability due to frequent dissatisfaction with communication efforts.
• [1:07:05] - Kaity navigates confusion in Mr. Hairline's attachment style, identifying it as a fearful-avoidant pattern.
• [1:09:37] - Kaity values consistency in text responsiveness, acknowledging her needs without deeming them needy.
• [1:11:11] - Seasons come and go, and Kaity is embracing the end of a dating season.
• [1:14:45] - Female listeners are advised to view relationship challenges as passing moments.
• [1:16:07] - I close by emphasizing navigating challenges together, avoiding person-centered blame, and highlighting conflict resolution's role in building intimacy.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate

Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Literature & Links Mentioned

Her Dating Dry Spell Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations

Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our second experience. Come with me as I share the first part of my latest research project – an exploration focused on education, economics, and marriageability of Black boys and men. While the podcast primarily caters to Black women, the research holds greater significance for the entire Black community, and I explore the debt America owes Black Americans.

The discussion navigates the complexities of understanding and improving conditions for Black men and boys as I call attention to the debts they have inherited and how it has impacted Black Love and the Black Family. I also unravel historic evidence, spotlight improvements, and ambitiously work towards a self-sufficient future for Black communities.

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth! I also invite you to enroll in the Nurturing My Self-Esteem Mini-Course or grab the Feminine Identity Bundle.

Correction: The author is not Tracey Chapman, but Audrey B. Chapman. 

Time Stamps:

• [4:04] - Gain some insights on academic research.
• [6:18] - America should dissolve its oppressive barriers against Black boys and men.
• [9:24] - I advocate for accessible research for all.
• [12:43] - Much research needs to be adapted for Black people.
• [15:11] - I desire for my research communication to be comprehensible for all.
• [18:26] - My line of research studies how education and economics impact the marital status of Black men.
• [20:14] - My research especially targets debts in education, economics, and marriage for Black boys and men.
• [23:47] - I use models and address the lasting effects of racism.
• [26:24] - I connect financial language, diverse models, and cultural insights.
• [28:09] - I explain how my research also examines the educational, economic, and marital debts owed to Black men to improve their societal standing.
• [30:30] - I directly address Black mothers, urging them to raise their sons to contribute meaningfully to society.
• [32:28] - Black fathers, your sons need you!
• [34:12] - I move into the subject of debt owed to Black boys.
• [37:11] - I borrow the word “rift” to depict racial discord.
• [40:15] - I call Black men to the front again.
• [41:50] - I recommend a few helpful resources regarding this topic.
• ​​[44:37] - I address intergenerational cycles.
• [48:02] - My research proposes a collective approach.
• [51:44] - Marriage among less-educated Black Americans may face increased stress due to financial instability and strain.
• [54:20] - Some progress connects to acknowledging men's need to earn, supporting families, before discussing marital structures.
• [56:25] - Securing a high school diploma benefits Black men.
• [1:02:34] - I encourage young Black women to seek guidance on education, careers, and relationships.
• [1:05:02] - Educational injustices affect Black men, women, and children, ultimately shaping conflicting beliefs on marriage and masculinity.
• [1:06:59] - I close by expressing appreciation for strong Black marriages, urging listeners to actively contribute to family and community healing.

Connect with Me:

• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Literature & Links Mentioned

• My Black Marriage Research Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}
• His Dating Pivot Blog Post
• Marriage As A Cultural Norm Podcast Episode 
• Of Boys & Men by Richard Reeves
• Why I Love Black Women by Michael Eric Dyson
• The Spirit of a Man by Iyanla Vanzant

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-match-marry-mate-show/donations