It’s been a while, but this week I recount a harrowing journey that involves coming under attack on a deserted street in Sheffield. I also have an awkward incident in a bakery. To unwind, I take a bath—and fear not, I bring you in with me. There’s an update on my recent dalliance with the Daily Mail, plus more recordings of listeners’ washing machines and more mechanical musical challenges.

This week, Ellie gets a Google Alert for my name, linking to a Daily Mail article in which I am mentioned and quoted. We read you the article, then embark on some investigative journalism of our own to uncover the truth behind the story. And that’s not the only article we read on this week’s podcast: we also have the write-up of the very strange interview I did for a Yorkshire newspaper last week. Plus listeners’ Yorkshire jokes, more mechanical musical challenges and, I suppose at this point it probably goes without saying, more Le Creuset news.

It’s a very literature-heavy podcast this week, as we bring you spontaneous limericks, a poem from my ten-year-old self, and I recount the rather unusual newspaper interview that I did a few days back. Plus, finally, after months of waiting, I’m back in the kitchen for a dishwashing special. More mechanical musical challenges, more Le Creuset news, and the return of our catchily titled feature Technological Regression Masquerading As Technological Progression.

Join me at Folk East Festival along with the other two from The Young’uns and friend of the podcast Mathew Crampton, for a chat with folk singers Emily Portman and Sam Carter, plus Canadian shanty band Pressgang Mutiny. Emily is the victim of an impersonation, Sam takes the law into his own hands, and Pressgang Mutiny inspire a Canadian-based guessing game. Meanwhile, back at home, I am contacted by the dead, there’s a mystery music challenge, and we’re fleetingly joined by Alan Carr.

It’s the final chapter of my fantasy Novella, The Story Of The Brain King. Will the Time Doctor and the Lord Of Darkness agree to stop the destruction of an entire planet? Cassette Roulette showcases one of my invented childhood games. There’s a brief appearance from Dara Ó Briain and Terry Wogan, and we have another strange experience in the Turkish baths.

This week we have an unexpected encounter with celebrity chef Ainsley Harriott, who involves himself in our feature Potato News. The Time Doctor and The Lord Of Darkness go head-to-head in an epic battle of words, with part 11 of my childhood fantasy novella, The Story Of The brain King. There’s news and sport courtesy of Cassette Roulette. We’re contacted by members of the North East’s 90s Happy Hardcore community,. And there's more Le Creuset news.

We're back with another dose of dragons and confusing characters courtesy of my childhood novella, The Story Of the Brain King. Cassette Roulette takes us into a surreal world of late night 90s North East raves. And you send us your examples of one word song triggers.

This week I goaded Mike Read and was slapped in the face by a posh old lady on the train. Plus more unusual audio clips curtesy of Cassette Roulette, and it’s part 9 of my childhood fantasy novella The Story Of The Brain King.

I have yet another weird massage experience. I remix Morrissey. It’s the return of Cassette Roulette and a surprise reappearance for Potato News. There’s tea-based controversy, bible studies and a Le Creuset exclusive. Plus part 8 of my childhood fantasy novella, The Story Of The Brain King, where we find out what happens when a dragon-riding Knight is confronted by a computer.

We unearth my primary school reports. We finally take a little step forward with our rescue mission in part 7 of my childhood fantasy novella The Story Of The brain King. There’s listener tea reviews, advice for dealing with ferrel nursery kids, and I have a run-in with a sign language interpreter who castigates my lack of originality whilst fervently promoting a proponent of moist genitalia.

Lots of drama this week. Pip is on a perilous precipice of a mountain; Olivia faces fire; Steve is on a mission to infiltrate his local church; I get attacked by nursery children, and it’s time to find out whether we’re able to escape the Lord Of Darkness and his creatures of death.

More crazy characters, confusion and chaotic capers in the sixth instalment of my childhood fantasy novella The Story Of The brain King. Ellie has acquired a new hobby, and she’s made yet another secret recording of me. There’s another cold brew tea tasting, a porcelain boob update from Steve, and Spammer Time helps us learn about the habits of the David Eagle Podcast listenership. Plus some behind the scenes chat from my BBC Radio appearances last weekend.

Ellie has been secretly recording me. Find out whether we escape the dragon in part 4 of my childhood fantasy novella, The Story Of The brain King. We try to break into prison. And fear not, there is of course more Le Creuset news.

What’s the link between listeners of the David Eagle Podcast and disgraced Former CEO of the Scottish National Party Peter Murrell? There’s more exciting BBC Radio 4 news. It’s part 3 of my childhood fantasy novella, The Story Of the Brain King, where we travel far back in time and meet two very ancient and surprisingly petulant characters. We have a couple of encounters with anti-social teenagers. Steve and his Porcelain boobs are back from holiday, and Olivia returns with revelations a plenty and well and truly rises to my musical challenge.

 This week I become embroiled in a school drama; part 2 of my childhood fantasy novella; I’m headhunted by Radio 4; there’s exciting Le Creuset news, and the reveal of Olivia’s Guess the animal competition.

 This week, part one of my fantasy novella that I wrote aged nine. An embarrassing tale from my teenage years that took place in a church. What happens when two podcast listeners meet in real life? My gig at Derby Comedy festival falls foul of a technological regression masquerading as technological progression. And Olivia treats us to a silly saucy sausage saga.

This week: the history of the typewriter, Czech classical music, and we read an extract from a travel diary written in the 18^th century. But if all that sounds a bit too highbrow for you, rest assured that there’s more belching and sexual innuendo, and of course more Le Creuset chat. There’s the tale of the rather weird experience I had, performing at a birthday party. And we make crucial progress in our ongoing quest to broker a collaboration between a Suffolk sea shanty band and Beyoncé.

This week I am heckled in the park by some teenage lads. I unearth a weird fantasy story that I wrote as a child. And Ellie finds an abandoned leg in a bus station.

This week, we help make a listener’s dream come true. We re-open communication with our American best selling crime and thrillers author friend. And Herbal Tea Of The Week is back, which takes a dramatic turn.

This week, we dissect another traditional folk song, as we meet an aristocrat with terrible navigational skills and an adulterous wife. I tell the story of how, at primary school, I was the leader of a criminal girl gang. We journey back in time 4000 years to experience the world’s first stand up comedy show. A gig in a grammar school takes an unexpectedly dramatic turn. And there’s a desultory ditty about dim sum.