SHOW / EPISODE

Jim Newheiser: Handling Difficult People

46m | May 23, 2023

On this episode of The Bounce, the focus is on the challenges of dealing with difficult people in churches. Jim Newheiser, director of the Christian counseling program at Reformed Theological Seminary in Charlotte, shares his insights on how pastors and church leaders can navigate these challenging situations. The podcast encourages pastors and gives them fresh energy to tackle ministry challenges. Bob Lepine, our host, also shares the importance of leaving a review for the podcast and listening to previous episodes. The episode looks at why apologetics are essential for pastors and training people to defend their faith. Overall, this podcast is produced by the Great Commission Collective, a group of churches committed to expanding the gospel by planting churches and strengthening leaders in local churches.

Jim Newheiser is a church leader who has experienced the challenges of building community in smaller churches. He has witnessed people come to church expecting to find all the programs they need, but when faced with the reality of a smaller congregation, many simply complain and leave. Jim's approach to this problem is to empower church members to start their own ministries, as he did when a group of parents wanted a youth group for their children. While most of the families eventually left for churches with established programs, Jim's leadership demonstrates the importance of community building in even the smallest of churches.

Timestamped Overview

[00:09:56] Focus on pleasing God, not people. Trust God for satisfaction in ministry. Don't be dependent on people, be dependent on God.

[00:12:52] Be submissive to church leaders and join a local church; refusal to join is like self-excommunication.

[00:15:49] A speaker received unhelpful critiques after a conference, including suggestions to address different topics, and others' opinions represented on behalf of groups. The COVID pandemic exacerbated divisions between church factions. Some attendees also criticize the pastor's compensation package.

[00:22:08] People who leave the church can be difficult to resolve. It's best to wish them well and help them find another church where they'll be shepherded. Focus on taking care of those who want to be in the church, and leave those who leave to their own choices.

[00:24:08] People who think they have a calling to ministry should be recognized by the church. God will tell the congregation if someone is called to preach. Frustrated individuals who pressure leaders to give them opportunities may not be trustworthy and it's important to get to know them first.

[00:26:38] Maintaining church unity and purity is important, and a plurality of leadership can help deal with divisive people. The Bible provides guidance on correcting opposition with kindness and gentleness, and discipline may be necessary for sinfully divisive individuals. Pastors should avoid defending themselves excessively in these situations.

[00:28:40] Church divisions over unimportant and secondary issues, with some individuals promoting heretical views and others being doctrinally divisive. The author suggests firm action, including asking for repentance or expulsion from the church.

[00:36:53] Relying on wealthy donors can be both positive and negative for small struggling churches, as some may demand influence and abandon the church if they don't get their way, leaving pastors and congregations in a difficult situation.

[00:38:54] Don't be surprised by suffering, watch over your own soul, recognize God is sovereign, protect your family, love your enemies, and focus on where God is working, not on trouble.

[00:41:29] Reasons for leaving ministry: loss of Biblical qualifications, burnout, loss of desire, seeking wise counsel, untenable situations, family suffering. Endure through difficult times before making a sudden decision.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode

Reform Theological Seminary in Charlotte: https://rts.edu

Neil Shenvi's book "Why Believe":https://www.amazon.com/Why-Believe-Reasoned-Approach-Christianity/dp/B0B4QNJGDJ

Great Commission Collective: https://gccollective.org

The Gospel Coalition: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/

9Marks: https://www.9marks.org/

Acts 29 Network: https://www.acts29.com/

Desiring God: https://www.desiringgod.org/

Ligonier Ministries: https://www.ligonier.org/

Gospel-Driven Church: https://www.gospeldrivenchurch.com/

Gospel Project: https://www.gospelproject.com/

Christianity Today: https://www.christianitytoday.com/

The Gospel Coalition Podcast Network: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/podcasts/

Together for the Gospel: https://t4g.org/ 

Banner of Truth: https://banneroftruth.org/us/

Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (CCEF): https://www.ccef.org/

Biblical Counseling Coalition: https://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/

Audio Player Image
The Bounce with Bob Lepine
Loading...