• Ep. 475: Are We Morally Obligated To Keep Up with the News?

    Instagram is rolling out a new feature that defaults to keeping news and political content off of our feeds, and it got us thinking, is it irresponsible to ignore current events? Unfortunately, many news sources are produced with biases, headlines are manufactured to outrage rather than inform, and falsified information is getting harder and harder to differentiate from what’s “real.” And not only that, but after years of getting everything from social media algorithms, we’re all primed to see and hear things we already agree with. Maybe it’s just us, but the “news” doesn’t feel like the news anymore. Is it just us?


    The “news” isn’t the news anymore [3:10]

    Manufactured outrage [6:12]

    People look for things we agree with [7:59]

    Stories can spiral out of control [11:46]

    We need stronger critical thinking skills [14:38]

    There’s just “too much” to keep up with [19:29]

    Voting without keeping up with current events [22:44]

    Borrowed information [24:35]

    How do we know what’s true and what’s real? [27:11]


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    33m | Mar 27, 2024
  • Ep. 474: Can Men + Women Be Friends, No Strings Attached?

    Today, we’re bravely tackling a question no one has ever dared to ask before: can men and women be friends? Okay, okay, we hardly have a new take on this topic—of course they can!—but as two women whose marriages ended due to infidelity, sometimes the answer can feel a little more complicated. Lots of men and women can be friends with no romantic or sexual connection, but there are some hard feelings and potential red flags to be aware of if you or your partner has a close friend of the opposite sex.


    Can men + women be friends? [1:11]

    Introducing your friends to your partner [4:00]

    Red-flags to look out for [6:01]

    Handling feelings of jealousy and inadequacy [7:49]

    We don’t want to waste time anymore [10:23]

    Self-fulfilling prophecies [11:39]

    Pre-empting our partner’s insecurities [14:42]

    Partners need to be included [17:12]

    Knowing what your partner is up to [19:39]

    You’ll never feel 100% confident 100% of the time [22:02]


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    25m | Mar 22, 2024
  • Ep. 473: Simple Is Boring

    Whenever we face problems in our lives, we tend to crave complicated solutions over easy ones. Somehow we think complexity is more likely to give us a result—unfortunately, while simple is boring, it’s also effective. No one wants to hear that the solution to losing weight is eating less. Instead we look to fad diets or new workout techniques, and it takes us even longer to reach our goals. We’re so caught up in optimizing everything that we forget to perfect the basics. Is there anything in your life you’re over-complicating?


    Humans prefer complicated solutions over simple ones [1:00]

    Trying to gamify our lives [2:43]

    Our brain works against itself [6:09]

    You can’t do the advanced things before the basic things [7:34]

    We underestimate the impact of the small things [9:50]

    Consistency over optimization [11:51]

    What parts of our lives can we simplify? [14:50]


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    16m | Mar 20, 2024
  • Ep. 472: The Loneliness in Getting Older

    Maybe it’s just us, but there’s some weird loneliness that seems to come with getting older. We’ve been holding it down for our loved ones for so long, and we’re caretakers by nature, but maybe it’s time to ask who’s taking care of us? Our responsibilities are more than ever, but now our support networks are spread out and we don’t want to burden anyone. What’s left is us, feeling alone, and starting to feel resentful of our lives. We know it isn’t forever, but sometimes that loneliness hits us, and we just needed to talk about it. If you’re out there feeling lonely too, you’re not in this by yourself. We see you, we understand you, we ARE you.


    The expectation to have it all together [2:12]

    Getting sick of the same shit over and over again [5:22]

    If you take care of everyone else, who takes care of you? [8:59]

    Therapy can help remove your blind spots [11:49]

    You’re the adult now [13:57]

    Would marriage solve our loneliness? [16:08]

    Existing somewhere in the messy middle [20:00]

    Marriage and obligation [24:11]

    Competitive overwhelm [28:36]

    Self-imposed resentment [31:46]

    Looking for validation from someone who can’t give it [34:15]


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    37m | Mar 15, 2024
  • Ep. 471: Is Taking Selfies Self-Absorbed?

    It’s 2024, are we still judging people for taking selfies? Sometimes we like the way we look and want to share it, what’s so wrong with that? There are so many times we wish we’d gotten over ourselves and taken photos to remember specific moments in our lives, but now those times are past and we’ll never get those memories back. And hey, there’s nothing wrong with taking a picture just because you’re feeling hot, too. Next time you see someone post a selfie, let it inspire you to take photos of your own life, rather than thinking someone is too self-absorbed. 


    Do I need to be helpful all the time? [4:15]

    Are selfies still taboo? [7:59]

    We get confronted by our sensitivities [10:29]

    Talking shit on someone else’s confidence [14:09]

    You’ll always regret not having memories [15:35]

    Support your girls! [17:59]


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    19m | Mar 13, 2024
  • Ep. 470: Can You Be Too Relatable?

    When you have an audience of any kind, a decision must be made—do you keep yourself relatable and friendly to all, or do you out your own self on a pedestal to keep people coming back for more? For the former, some might argue that this leaves you “too” relatable, and at risk of your audience losing respect for you. On the other hand, the latter might leave you seeming stiff, unapproachable, and with a superiority complex. Danny and Jill ponder this dichotomy and wonder what the best path is for handling the influencer-consumer relationship. (This episode is a re-run. Originally published in 2019.)


    Keeping yourself on an “elevated” level [3:23] 

    Is it possible to be too relatable? [6:17]

    The Pratfall Effect: authority needs relatability [10:25]

    Keeping yourself above your audience vs. Boundaries [15:14]

    Reaching out as a peer for mutual benefit [18:41]


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    23m | Mar 8, 2024
  • Ep. 469: Grief Demands to Be Felt, Even When It's Misunderstood

    Grief demands to be felt, and in many ways it needs to be witnessed. Grief doesn’t have a specific look, nor does it have an expiration date, but there are some types of grief that might seem uncommon or “wrong” to feel, which can leave us stuck with these feelings without any way to process them. That’s disenfranchised grief—grief that isn’t openly acknowledged on a societal or personal level. Maybe you have felt some disenfranchised grief, and in this episode Danny shares some of the commonly ignored types of grief to let you know that if you’ve been hurt by any of these experiences, you are’t alone and that how you feel matters.


    Some past traumatic events [2:19]

    Uncovering old home videos [4:43]

    Disenfranchised grief [7:50]

    The power in sharing your grief [11:19]

    Pain in losing a pet [12:51]

    Miscarriages and stillbirths [13:42]

    The death of a former partner [14:43]

    Relationships that don’t fit societal norms [15:46]

    Grief in suicide [16:43]

    Childhood abuse and neglect [18:02]

    Loss through adoption—for parents and children [18:59]

    A loss of cultural or religious identity [19:51]

    Estranged family relationships [20:42]

    Grief following a traumatic event [22:24]


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    27m | Mar 7, 2024
  • Ep. 468: Do We Even Need Men?

    We talk a lot of shit about men (and sometimes they deserve it) but at the end of the day, we love men and we appreciate what they do for us and who they are. But sometimes we wonder if the younger generations feel the same. “We don’t need men!” is a popular soundbyte, but do young women really feel that way, and how it that affecting the self esteem of the future generations of boys?


    Do we need men? [1:50]

    “Traditional” male roles are no longer needed [3:54]

    The biological value of men [7:32]

    Appreciating the ways men and women are different [10:31]

    You can have both [13:01]

    Where does the correction start? [15:50]

    The toxic messages we see on social media [17:49]

    A cultural obsession with status [21:07]

    We need each other [26:21]


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    29m | Mar 2, 2024
  • Ep. 467: Towels for Valentine's Day

    For holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries, do gifts matter? Or is it only the thought that counts? Maybe a mixture of the two? We aren’t saying that the only way to make us feel loved is by buying us gifts, but there are some presents that are a little more insulting to receive than if you had gotten nothing at all. We all want to be loved in different ways, so before you go buy towels for your partner for Valentine’s Day, make sure it’s something they’d love.


    Towels for Valentine’s Day [4:35]

    Understanding how your partner wants to be loved [8:25]

    Is it thoughtful or is it insulting? [12:04]

    There’s a time and place for practical gifts [14:01]

    Not everyone is superficial or entitled [16:27]

    The kinds of gifts we like receiving [17:59]

    The right time to buy someone towels (or any practical gift) [19:50]


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    23m | Feb 29, 2024
  • Ep. 466: Elitism in Internet Business

    There’s a lot to be said about “getting in the room” and surrounding yourself with people who can challenge and elevate you as a business owner or person, but at what point does it become elitism? At what point is the obsession with surrounding yourself with the “right” people performative and just for chasing clout? We’ve been entrepreneurs for a long time, and unfortunately, we see a lot of transactional relationships and judgement against people who aren’t deemed successful enough, whatever that even means. For us, our genuine relationships mean everything, and we aren’t going to abandon the people we care about just because they aren’t the “right” level of successful. Yuck.


    Elitism in the online space [1:15]

    Using people only for clout [5:08]

    Treating people transactionally [9:11]

    If you’re not bragging about it, is it real? [12:55]

    Judgement of those not “rich” enough [17:04]

    A rising tide floats all boats [20:54]

    How to get into the “right” room [25:20]

    Just because it’s popular, doesn’t mean it’s the best [31:12]


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    34m | Feb 24, 2024
  • Ep. 465: Danny vs. Jill: To Plan Ahead or To Wait 'Til the Last Second?

    There are some people who like their life planned out to a T, months in advance of any event (like Jill!) aaaaand then there are those that wait until the last possible second to confirm anything and leave the rest of us biting their nails (*ahem* like Danny-J). There are benefits to planning ahead for sure, but those who wait til the last minute have their reasons, too. Do you plan ahead, or do you wait until you absolutely have to?


    Planning ahead (or not) [3:24]

    Having better options [6:15]

    Last-minute air travel [8:31]

    Having something to look forward to [12:13]

    The benefit of waiting for the last minute [14:22]

    Living in limbo [18:30]

    A chain reaction of commitment [22:42]

    Booking separately from your partner [25:36]

    Letting go of managing other people’s actions [27:49]

    You can always change your mind [31:31]


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    37m | Feb 21, 2024
  • Ep. 464: How To Make the Big, Tough Decision

    There will be times in our lives when we are faced with a tough decision, be it personal, business, financial, or otherwise. When we come to these crossroads, we feel lost. What if we make the wrong decision? What if we pick the wrong thing and our lives fall apart? We’ll let you in on a little secret: there is no “right” and there is no “wrong.” Decisions get made, and we figure out what comes next, no matter what. The only real thing to do is take action, and let the chips fall where they may.


    The fear of making the “wrong” decision [1:26]

    Listen to your head, your heart, and your gut [5:10]

    You can handle whatever outcome comes your way [7:52]

    Time provides less insight than you think [9:26]

    Every experience prepares you for the next one [13:23]

    You decide what’s “worth it” [16:47]

    The time and money will be spent anyways [20:55]

    You’re never really starting from scratch [22:33]

    There is no “wrong” choice [25:04]


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    27m | Feb 16, 2024
  • Ep. 463: Your Success Only Counts If You're Attractive

    Whether we like it or not, our society is hyper-fixated on how women look, act, and exist in this world. If you’re single, you’re looked down upon. If you’re married, a lot of your success is attributed to your husband. If you aren’t pretty, you get over-looked. But we all know looks can fade and not even marriage is without risk of ending. It’s kind of like we’re damned if we do, and we’re damned if we don’t. It’s not that we resent the urge to feel pretty—of course we want to look and feel good—but don’t you sometimes wonder how much farther along in life you could be if your looks weren’t the most important thing about you (at least in society’s eyes)?


    Taylor Swift (& also the Super Bowl) [3:36]

    Women don’t get to be seen as “successful” if we’re not hot [7:58]

    You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t [12:01]

    You can’t live on just your looks [15:20]

    The problem with being single [19:49]

    Is success given to the husband, rather than the wife? [24:47]

    Generational views of marriage [29:05]

    Double standards for men and women [32:41]


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    36m | Feb 14, 2024
  • Ep. 462: How Danny Got Off Her Anti-Depressants

    Danny was always told she’d be on anti-depressants for the rest of her life. As a child, she was told that her brain was “imbalanced” and she’d always have to take meds to feel okay, but as of October os 2022, she hasn’t taken any sort of medication for mental health, and doesn’t see that changing any time soon. It wasn’t an overnight journey, and it entailed some socially taboo and sometimes-frowned upon tactics, but she has never felt better. This isn’t a how-to guide to getting off your psychiatric meds, but if you’re curious how Danny did it, look no further.


    Trauma and PTSD after grief and loss [2:43]

    Danny’s first experience with depression [6:28]

    A life without meds is possible [9:57]

    The benefits of exercise and diet [11:16]

    Sleep and hormones [14:03]

    Managing symptoms with Wellbutrin [16:21]

    Exploring alternative medicines [19:11]

    Ketamine and breath work [21:38]

    Multiple therapies at the same time [23:04]

    Cutting out alcohol and artificial sweeteners [26:27]

    The three biggest dial-movers [30:29]

    What’s next? [32:24]


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    37m | Feb 10, 2024
  • Ep. 461: Finding Our Focus in an Over-Stimulating World with Dr. Laura Gouge

    In a world where we’re constantly being bombarded with distractions and anxieties, our mental health is at an all-time low. Anxiety, depression, PTSD, and ADHD are being reported in record numbers and it all feels so impossible to fix. Luckily for us, we got to chat with Dr. Laura Gouge, a naturopathic physician who works with women like all of us to treat our mental health problems, especially ADHD, holistically. We’re not against medication here, but our gut health, hormones, and nervous system all impact our focus and if we can work to understand the root causes of our attention struggles, we’re halfway to fixing them and feeling more focused and satisfied every single day.


    Looking to the root causes of your struggles [1:52]

    Facing pushback from people who don’t understand [3:36]

    The path to healing her own insomnia [6:06]

    Is being a late owl genetic? [12:02]

    Treating focus issues without medications [13:17]  

    An increase in ADHD diagnoses [19:05]

    ADHD comorbidity [24:38]

    Nervous system regulation [27:40]

    How hormones affect your brain [29:39]

    Focusing on the biggest dial movers [33:09]

    Coffee and other stimulants [36:23]

    The benefits of having ADHD [37:48]

    Psychedelics and mental health [41:39]

    Blows to the psychedelic therapy movement [46:31]

    A rise in anxiety since the pandemic [49:13]


    Connect with Laura: @drlauragouge

    drlauragouge.com


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    56m | Feb 7, 2024
  • Ep. 460: That Time Danny Got Extorted

    When something looks too good to be true… it probably is. We’ve talked about buying followers, downloads, and likes here before but hey, even we aren’t perfect. Recently, Danny saw an opportunity to bury some bad reviews, but unfortunately, things didn’t turn out as good as she’d hoped. This episode is a little embarrassing, but it’s real, and we hope you don’t laugh too hard at our misfortune 😅


    The time Danny got extorted [1:01]

    Cutting corners is never worth it [10:26]

    Why someone leaves a one-star review [11:23]

    Everyone’s getting extorted out here [13:11] 

    Don’t make the same mistakes [15:47]

    When something seems too good to be true, it is [18:00]


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    22m | Feb 2, 2024
  • Ep. 459: The Power of Names

    Shakespeare once asked the question, “what’s in a name?” and lately we’ve been asking ourselves the same thing. After learning that her ex-husband is getting remarried and then running into him and his new fiancee (all in the same week!), Danny has been rethinking what it means to share a last name with her ex. Changing (or not changing) your last name when you get married is always a personal choice, especially because our names, in a way, become a part of our identities. Sharing a last name with your partner is almost like playing for the same team, but when that team is no linger one you want to play for, shit gets complicated.


    Danny’s ex getting remarried [1:13]

    Changing your last name when you get married [5:40]

    The hassle of changing your name [8:08]

    Joining your partner’s “team” [12:34]

    Your name and your identity [16:13]

    The process of changing your name [20:52]

    Running into an ex in public [21:58]

    The stories we tell ourselves about the people in our past [26:16]

    The energetics of letting go [29:34]

    Choosing a name together [32:47]


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    35m | Feb 1, 2024
  • Ep. 458: Friendships That Fade

    Friendships are so important to nurture in our lives, but whether we like it or not, sometimes friendships fade. We grow apart, we miscommunicate, and we get in fights that slowly corrode relationships with friends that used to be our whole support system, and fuck—it can get awkward. Our relationships with friends take effort, and it’s painful when that effort slowly fades away. Through it all, the people who want to keep you in their lives will make an effort, and you should too.


    When your friends suddenly change [4:02]

    Prioritizing friendships when life gets busy [5:56]

    Negative reactions to vulnerability [9:30]

    Ghosting the friendship [11:39]

    A Suzie White situation [15:12]

    Do you have a pattern of cutting people off? [16:39] 

    It’s okay to outgrow certain friendships [17:55]

    Mutual out-growing [19:33]

    The effort needed to maintain friendships [22:42]

    Missing the memories, rather than the person [24:34]

    Maintaining non-judgment and empathy [26:02]

    It’s better to over-communicate than nothing at all [29:55]


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    35m | Jan 27, 2024
  • Ep. 457: Advice To Our Younger Selves

    Life in our 40’s is so much different than we ever could have imagined at the beginning of our 30’s. It was a decade of finding ourselves amidst a lot of chaos and upheaval, and no amount of warnings could have prepared us for all that happened. There are so many pieces of advice we didn’t take (and wish we did) and even more advice we wish we had, but at the end of the day, we’re grateful for every little thing we went through. What advice would you give to your younger self?


    Advice for women in their 30’s [2:12]

    Feelings of safety and security in relationships [4:00]

    No amount of warnings could prepare you [7:06]

    Enjoy whatever phase of life you’re in [8:48]

    Have compassion for yourself [13:11]

    Building a strong community of friends [18:34]

    Some rapid-fire advice [20:37]

    There’s not enough info on menopause [21:52]

    Advice we knew but didn’t take (and regret) [24:25]

    Things about aging we’re looking forward to [27:47]


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    31m | Jan 25, 2024
  • Ep. 456: A Chat About Explant Surgery

    It’s no secret, Danny has fake boobs and she’s always liked it that way. That is, until, several people she knows have started having breast-implant horror stories—now she’s thinking it’s time to get them out. Just like our hair or our skin or our clothes, as women, we tie a lot of our identity to our bodies, and especially our boobs, so saying goodbye isn’t easy. But as we get older, our priorities change, and where we once mostly cared about looking a certain way, now our health is a bigger priority.


    A wave of explants [0:50]

    Body parts as a trend [5:50]

    How a physical change affects our partners [9:01] 

    The downsides to big boobs [12:57]

    Losing identity and femininity [15:47]

    You know when you know [18:20]

    It’s okay to change your mind [20:11]


    Go to magicmind.com/JANBESTLIFE for one month FREE of Magic mind, and use code BESTLIFE20 for another 20% off your order!


    Get a personalized playlist for all your fav podcast topics!

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    23m | Jan 19, 2024
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