Here's a preview of this weeks premium epiosde. Monica going to court is very funny but we can't really put the full thing on public since it's before the courts - but here's a long snippet to give you a feeling of the vibe of the thing.

Don't forget - cbco.beer still has the CRP10 voucher code to get 10% off the already amazing prices with free shipping. Get on it! Cheap good quality craft beers1

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From as little as five bucks a month! Don't make me get all weird and shame you like Dave Oneegs does - if you can't afford it, you just need to like want it more. Winners grindset bro.

If any of you are missing out because you're actually broke drop me a line and I'll send you a file. It's the honour system so don't tell me fibs!

Enjoy the free snippet!

https://www.patreon.com/theconditionalreleaseprogram

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We follow the leads from Vaxatious Litigant who did an excellent write up on Monica's big day(s) in court. We cover the first two with Vaxy's help and throw in a few notes from the 3rd day which we watched/listened to over the course.

Monica is very funny. We can't include any clips cause you can't record court but there's some cracking quotes in there from the Patron Saint of Pakenham. Tons of help from the Tinfoil Tales guys and Dave went into this chat!

Then we look at Kamala Harris and the inevitable terrible behaviour and discourse around her nomination including the predictably boring 'discovery' that she is actually a man - posted by one of or very own holocaust deniers (not pete).

And we look at Elon pulling out his $45 million from the Trump superpac - one of the very few times Elon actually does pull out, let's be honest.

Enjoy!

There's been another major twist in the presidential contest with Joe Biden being persuaded to step aside, allowing his VP, Kamala Harris to step in. She isn't quite confirmed as the nominee yet but it seems Barack Obama is more or less alone among senior Democrats in calling for an open convention in Chicago on 19 August.

The Two Jacks discuss the role of Nancy Pelosi as Joe's executioner. As all good politicians must, she led the tributes to the 46th POTUS with metaphorical blood on her hands and proved herself to be a leader of consequence.

Can Harris beat Trump? It's more than possible but she is starting from six lengths behind.

In other news, the Brits show us the pathway to political civility as Sir Keir Starmer announces a major change to housing policy in the UK.

Germany cuts its military aid to Ukraine by half.

While in sport, the return of warm up games would assist battling cricket nations as a quick fix for the terrible mess Test cricket finds itself in. 

The Two Jacks discuss the attempted assassination of Donald Trump and what it means to the presidential race. HK Jack says the Dems can still win but it just got a whole lot harder. We turn to the potential Democrat candidates should Biden stand down. HK Jack believes Kamala Harris has one shot and might be the contender.

The allegations of corruption within the CFMEU are considered while the Two Jacks explore the relationship between the union's construction division and the Labor Party.

In sport, is Djokovic being disrespected by tennis audiences? In cricket, England sends Jimmy Anderson off in style.  

Some little fella had a crack at Trump. He missed, thankfully. America would be ablaze right now if that little twerp could shoot.

In the wake of this paradigm changing event we look at the absolute slop that has been served up on social media, especially Elon's Twitter.

We don't know the motive. We don't know the truth. But we know a whole bunch of total nonsense that idiots made up on the internet.

What fun.

Long episode with loose script and dodgy AI editing. You've been warned! Any horrible mistakes please let me know - robots edited it so it's not my fault!

ALSO forgot to do a beer plug but go to cbco.beer and enter CRP10 to get 10% off the best damn IPA in the country. Or their other beers which are also pretty good. I'll make it up to them next time!

The Two Jacks discuss the Payman defection and agree that as it stands it holds no great risk for Labor.

Meanwhile in the US, the Dems circle the wagons around Grampa Joe.

Japan is finally kicking its floppy disk addiction.

The Tories are sent packing and there was no one more deserving than Liz Truss and Jacob Rees-Mogg.

The French prove themselves damned unpredictable again while in sport, Jessica Hull produces one of Australia’s greatest ever track performances in Paris in the 1500m with the Olympics less than three weeks away. 

It's time for a news roundup which kicks off with a bit of a correction from our Digital ID episode which saw the cookers get one right. Kinda. Well sort of. A bit. But they did. Big thanks to Michael for letting us know!

Then we jump straight into politics - Biden struggled in the debate and the UK was set to go to the polls. The results are in and Labor pissed it in, but we knew that so it's doesn't really matter.

In cooker update we laugh at MGG, Guru and Dave Oneegs who are all making dicks of themselves as usual.

In sovcits we have a particularly nasty character who relied on the Vienna Convention for reasons we don't know and....

Pete's an influencer! Well, according to the daily mail.

Enjoy!

The Two Jacks discuss the disastrous performance of Joe Biden in the first Presidential debate. Can he survive it? The Two Jacks say no and a replacement must be found. Who will it be? Not Kamala, HK Jack says, more likely Gavin Newsom, the California governor.

In local politics, the Senator Payman distraction is causing a huge headache for the Albanese government who desperately wanted to bed down the tax cuts and budget goodies to the punters.

In the UK, the Sunak government prepares for electoral gotterdammerung while France starts its shift to the right.

Advertising algorithms -- are they controlling our lives or is JTI really a mad foot fetishist?

In sport, the Euros offer another tease for the Brits, the Indians are stranded in Barbados (not a bad place to be stranded) and JTI's beloved Blues make the case as premiership contenders. 

Here's a preview of this weeks premium epiosde.

From as little as five bucks a month! Don't make me get all weird and shame you like Dave Oneegs does - if you can't afford it, you just need to like want it more. Winners grindset bro. Sell more water filters ya lazy slob.

If any of you are missing out because you're actually broke drop me a line and I'll send you a file. It's the honour system so don't tell me fibs!

Enjoy the free snippet! Give us money! All of it! Okay fine, just most of it.

https://www.patreon.com/theconditionalreleaseprogram

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It's not even bloody Premium Episode 69 it's actually 80. Alas. You'll see why that matters in the first few mins of ramblings!

Assange is home! Will he be a pest? Probably. Is he a shithead? Generally.

We have a look at Jules to see if he's worth applauding - but agree that he's done his time and deserves a bit of vitamin D.

Tucker Carlson comes to Australia and it's shit. They slash the ticket prices to get the punters in and move the stage forward so you can't see the empty space. It's a resounding failure and very much in line with Clive Palmer's hit rate on success.

And, of course, Tommy Robinson is arrested for being an illegal immigrant. Very very funny. Sucked in.

Enjoy!

Julian Assange is a free man after 12 years of living in confined spaces. It's a victory for quiet diplomacy and Albo, Rudd and the Labor government deserve credit for it. Regardless of what people might think of Assange, he had spent too long in prison.

Meanwhile Lisa goes back to the Federal Court for her hat.

In New Zealand a woman takes her partner to a dispute tribunal for not taking her to the airport.

In the UK, the Tories have stopped shooting themselves in the foot. It's a fully blown machine gun job now with toes and heels flying all over the place.

In sport, Australia fails in the ICC T-20 World Cup while JTI announces Carlton as his number one seed to win the AFL flag. 

In the wake of two Seinfeld shows disturbed by protestors, the Two Jacks take a look at the role of comedy in our society.

The first point to make is a comedian with more than 50 years experience like Seinfeld, standing with a mic in his hand among a mainly adoring audience is going to sit any hecklers on their arses in quick time.

The discussion enters into the best stand up comedians of all time. JTI claims Richard Pryor changed everything and is the guv'nor while arguing that Billy Connolly was the funniest man at a live venue. We then look at political language and what a politician means when they utter predictable messages.

In more serious matters, Immigration Minister Andrew Giles' woes and bad judgment continue.

The Reform Party moves past the Tories as the new opposition in the UK on polling at least.

In sport, Dustin Martin stands atop as a champion of the big moment in AFL, Australia moves into the final eight in the T-20 World Cup while the Euros get underway. 

Count 'em folks. Seven. That's what Dutton is planning.

How much will they cost? Dunno.

When will they be ready? Ten years or so mate, give or take a few.

What do we do in the meantime Dutts? Gas. That's cheap and reliable. Not.

What a dumb policy. We look at it. We are harsh but fair.

Enjoy!

Donald Trump is a convict now or as they would say in Illinois a justice impacted person. What now for the presidential race? JTI has done the analysis and Trump's polling is down by three points since April 1. Biden's is also down 1.2 points.

The US economy is going well but consumer confidence is low and historically it has wrenched presidents from the White House.

An emu was on the loose in Hong Kong and no one wants to claim it. In South Africa, the ANC loses its majority and will need to enter into a coalition but who with?

Mexico elects its first woman President after Claudia Sheinbaum wins a thumping victory. In sport, we preview the ICC T-20 World Cup. 

CORRECTION: In Queensland they have made it all but mandatory to use a myGovID to sit a skills exam to rewew your electrical licence. I've cut the part cause it was wrong. In other states it's still mostly PDF form based etc etc but Queensland are dead keen on getting people to use myGovID.

Which is very weird because one of the reasons they passed this (in the explanatory memorandum) was to expand the myGovID into states. But - as it turns out - there are state services using it. For example, HousingVic and Victorian State Revenue can be linked to myGov using myGovID.

It appears you can work around this but it's incredibly annoying and quite blatant that you basically have to get the myGovID to sit the exam or experience a bureaucratic nightmare to get renewed. The cookers were kinda right on this one. Kinda!

Thanks to listener and sparky Michael Brown for the heads up. Super helpful in showing me all the things I needed to know to clarify this.

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Digital ID has cookers fuming. It's the end of freedom! The end of democracy! Social credit scores are next! This is how they lock down 15 minute cities!

It's not though.

It's just a way to prove your identity so you can do stuff. It's that simple.

The media have done an absolutely shocking job of communicating this honestly to the public and the government have just hoped nobody would notice. But when cookers get involved - you really can't win.

In this episode we look at what digital ID actually is, why it exists and then we look at some of the more absurd claims.

We also look at the bullshit surrounding social credit systems in China and the dreaded CBDC. These are the things that our digital ID system are apparently brining to us with a side order of tyranny. But why is there so much BS around these two things?

Probably racism and mostly stupidity.

Anyway, enjoy!

Oh, and cbco.beer still has 10% off for CRP10 voucher code. Their IPA and NEIPA are genuinely good and their new beer Goldy is pretty good too. Get on it guys. The price is very decent.

The Two Jacks have been witnessing the Tory death march to the next election in the UK. That march turned into a sprint when PM Rishi Sunak announced that national conscription for 18 year olds would be in place should he be re-elected. He won't so what manner of political posturing is this?

In Australia, a Redbridge poll gives the coalition zero chance of winning the next election. Immigration Minister Andrew Giles may not be a minister then as his woes pile up.

Trump's hush money trial could see a verdict as early as this week while gardening enters the culture wars.

In sport, the Two Jacks preview the ICC T-20 World Cup hosted in the West Indies. 

The Two Jacks discuss the plant-based food industry who have been getting belted in sales since the end of the pandemic. They've gone from green to red, now promoting their goods for carnivores albeit it without cholesterol.

JTI rants about fines imposed on kids in NSW.

In Iran, the President and his foreign minister die in a helicopter crash. Was it a simple coincidence or were Iran's enemies behind it?

In sport, JTI traumatised by his beloved Blues being belted by the Swans, sulks and misses the shotgun end to the Premier League. 

This is part one of - uh - lots?

At the core of this episode is a well planned script. The other 2 hours is mostly waffle between two cooked brains. Add to that the sustained consumption of alcohol and you got yourself an episode.

The Atlas Network is an umbrella organisation that helps create, sustain and propel libertarian thinktanks into media and modern meme culture. Its roots extend into the early 20th century and feature some predictable names such as Milton Friedman and Tony Abbott. What fun guys!

Brendan has done a deep dive into this with a script that spans across about 44 pages. In this episode, I think we got through about 12 of them.

It was a good fun record and I regret nothing. Although next time we record, I might try not to start half cut. That might help.

Enjoy!

Also, of course cbco.beer has CRP10 as a promo code still - 10% - and they have free shipping so go buy some beers.

Brendan has an excellent project called 'earseed' and his new album 'revelations' is on all the usual streaming places. The video for the song 'Come To My Place' is really really funny and has tickled the pickle of Dazza and Penny actually liked it. Excellent. Here's the video:

https://fb.watch/sfZIjwNRYC/

Anything we promised would be in the show notes is probably not going to happen but feel free to hassle Brendan about anything you want in the shitposting group!

This week we look at RFK Jr.'s actual brainworms and why his love for 'tuna fish sandwiches' probably gave him autism.

The sky is gay now thanks to woke - and it's expressing itself faaabulously in the aurora borealis. Is this the gay agenda playing out in space? Probably.

Albo is taken wildly out of context by Elon Musk who seems to think a 'social licence' is something you have to apply for...

AND of course we have a bit on Pancakegate - the fued between Guru and Bosi and Bec and some guy named Franco. Tinfoil Tales did it better, but we have a chuckle at the latest dumb rift between these clowns.

Enjoy!

The Two Jacks discuss the release of Jim Chalmers' third budget. Is Chalmers the government's best performer? What effect will the budget have on the economy? Will it be inflationary?

Meanwhile, in Argentina the Libertarian President Javier Milei sees some better results with inflation decreasing but still annualised at hyperinflationary rates. We examine the rest of Argentina's economic performance over the last year. Beyond inflation, the economy remains in negative growth and in the battle to control inflation, Milei runs the risk of slowing the economy further.

The US awaits its own inflation figures for the quarter but as it stands, the US economy is in better shape than most of the rest of the world.

In sport, Isaac Heeney and Marcus Bontompelli rate as the two best players in the AFL on statistical data while the Sharks roll on in the NRL. 

NZ Foreign Minister Winston Peters and Australia's former foreign minister get into a feud with Peters referring to Carr as "a Chinese puppet." Bob Car says it's lawyers at ten paces but will it come to that?

UK council elections spell doom for the Tories in the UK.

In Gaza, JTI predicts a boots on the ground assault in Rafah is a line that should not be crossed.

And have we got a hangover cure for you. Simply put yourself on a saline drip and hangover gone. In a vague reference, JTI says he has done it and it works.

In sport, JTI laments the defensive lapses of his beloved Blues and HK Jack tells us who one the Kentucky Derby under the most extraordinary and generous circumstances. 

We have returned guest and good friend of the podcast Dave Burgess on to discuss his experience with cookers in activist spaces and how they behave in his neck of the woods.

At the end I have a bit of a rant about Aussie Cossack and his role in amplifying the false claim that Ben Cohen was the Bondi attacker. Unconfirmed reports allege that the Aussie Cossack is a jerk.

Also, go to cbco.beer and enter CRP10 for 10% off their already cheap beers. Free postage! It's good! Even I did it recently!

Enjoy.