It's Sean's birthday! He's turning 36...is that mid or late 30s? Whatever the case, he's been mad about the San Antonio Spurs for more than half his life. And as a birthday gift, some 20-odd years of rage are all coming out.

Plus, Joey shares some relevant stories from his recent trip to Europe, including a run-in at the FIFA Museum in Switzerland.

And the Spurs aren't entirely bad. The HEB commercials are great. And remember that time Manu Ginobili caught a live bat during a game?

If you enjoyed this episode, you would be a TRUE champion if you shared it with one other person you think would like it. Tell us that you did on @sportsrdumb on Instagram, and we'll give you a shout-out on a future episode!

We're back in business — and what a bonus, the Texas Rangers are having a surprising renaissance this season! But Sean's fandom isn't nearly what it used to be. This is a very "waxing poetic" episode with a lot of random names from the 90s and 00s, and why meeting your heroes and learning about them off the field can sometimes be a terrible idea.

As it turns out, punching a dude in the face is not the best highlight to latch onto for a sports franchise. Here's that Rougned Odor on Jose Bautista punch Sean was talking about. He's right, it is a great photo. And here's Elvis Andrus touching the top of Adrian Beltre's head, among other things.

Losing a part of your childhood is definitely sad. But hey, maybe this is a chance to try something new! And that's never a bad thing.

In American sports, if you lose, you're rewarded with a higher draft pick. That means you'll sometimes see teams intentionally losing—or tanking—at the end of the year.

This NBA season, we had the unique scenario where teams could tank to miss the postseason and get a better draft pick, AND other teams could try to lose to get a better matchup in the playoffs. Amazing!

Plus, we're walking down Adam Sander's Rotten Tomatoes page, discussing the impracticality of milk mustaches, and dissecting the silliness of talking trash before the ball goes into the hoop.

We're also taking a bit of a break while Joey traverses Europe! We'll see you again on May 16 with plenty of other grievances about sports. Until then, keep enjoying everything you watch, and always remember that sports r dumb.

Sean was rooting for two teams during March Madness. Then, those two teams happened to play each other with a trip to the Final Four on the line. And he thinks having to choose between the two is pretty dumb.

Meanwhile, said Final Four is played in a football stadium, despite the notable fact that these are basketball games. The court is elevated, the seats don't provide nice views, and it seems like there's a potential for someone to fall a great distance. That's cavernously dumb.

Plus, watching games among opposing sports fans, incredibly raspy voices, and Sean has a wild burger experience.

The Media Section

Here's the box-out play Sean was talking about — you be the judge.

Also, how crafty was this pass from Wooga Poplar?

Finally, here's Justin Bieber falling down a hole during a concert.

Sean has been a lifelong fan of the Dallas Mavericks. And one season after reaching the NBA Western Conference Finals, the Mavericks may not even make the playoffs this year. That's sure frustrating for ol' Seany!

Plus, the team doesn't even know whose ball it is and has an inferior mascot compared to the old days. And now their fans have to root for Kyrie Irving? At least he was pretty good in Uncle Drew, though Lisa Leslie and Chris Webber stole the show.

Here are some of our talking points from this episode, too:

• The Mavericks giving up an uncontested dunk after standing on the wrong side of the court.
• The jersey exchange between Kyrie Irving and Dillon Brooks.
• The old Mavericks logo.
• The old Mavs Man mascot.
• The Florida Atlantic mascot, Owlsley.

And, of course, don't forget to follow the show on Instagram!

Sean and Joey both love March Madness, but as they throw their brackets in the trash and then light that trash can on fire, they've noticed plenty of dumb things during the NCAA Tournament.

From possession arrows to repetitive commercials to the guy intentionally incorrectly counting down a shot clock, there's lots of absurdity to go around. And we're breaking it all down in one modest package.

Also, let's give a shout-out to the UMBC Athletics Twitter presence. Still delivering us gold like this.

Meanwhile, the Sports R Dumb Instagram is trying to live up to that greatness. Give us a follow!

Joey's favorite time of year is March Madness. The NCAA Tournament, baby! He loves filling out brackets and following along with all of the thrilling chaos. Who will be this year's Cinderella? Can he correctly predict the champion? Will he defeat his smug coworker by selecting the proper 11/6 upset?

Meanwhile, Sean HATES the idea of filling out brackets. He hasn't done it for nearly a decade. And he believes people who do it are way too overconfident in their ability, even though they have virtually zero chance of completing a perfect bracket.

Regardless of your feelings on brackets, the games themselves are delightful. Sean and I even attended some in-person last year — and Sean saw his uncle being interviewed by a local news team! Wild. As Gus Johnson would say, "This is March Madness!"

Here are every school's team sheets from last year. They're certainly confusing, but they're kinda fun to look at!

Be sure to follow Sports R Dumb on Instagram for even more stupidity.

Back in the day, the All-Star Game meant something, dammit! But now, nobody seems to really care — defense is non-existent, rules are brazenly broken, and players understandably don't want to get hurt in a game that doesn't count. So, what could the solution be?

We don't really have one. But we do know having the winner of an All-Star Game get rewarded come championship time — like how Major League Baseball gave home-field advantage to the league that won — is a terrible idea. At the very least, let's bring back those old All-Star jerseys!

Despite our qualms, there were some memorable moments from this year's All-Star games across sports. We're diving into that magic, including when Janelle Monae forgot that her team was on offense.

There are also slight spoilers for the show Squid Game at the beginning of this episode, though probably not worse than anything you've heard from friends who couldn't wait to talk about it.

Here's the episode of Joey's other podcast we talked about — go listen to Good People, Cool Things!

Are you feeling FINE today? If so, you just might owe tens of thousands of dollars for doing something in a sporting event. In many cases, the fine is for an extremely niche reason, like kicking or dropping a ball or dancing after a touchdown. Meanwhile, serious things that sometimes are literal criminal activity have a similar fine or no punishment at all.

Plus, we dive into some of the weirdest fines you can get in every state, like sleeping in a bakery in Illinois or dying certain animals blue in Kentucky. And we take a walk down memory lane involving $2 bills and the time Joey ended up on a box of Frosted Flakes.

Finally, here's Homer's brain floating away.

Sometimes you're watching a game and you'll see 36 replays of the same play. That's too many! Other times, you're watching the end of a close game and would like to see that final play one more time. Yet you never see it because the channel has moved onto a new game entirely. The entire replay decision-making system could probably use an overhaul.

And DON'T GET US STARTED on replay reviews. Seriously, please don't. We already have another episode on that.

Plus, a silly sports cliche about winning, and remember that time LeBron James wore business shorts after telling the media to be better?

Finally, Joey mistakenly said Belmont when he meant Liberty. As an apology, here are three other ASUN teams to watch out for this season: Kennesaw State, Eastern Kentucky, and Stetson, whose logo includes a fancy hat.

Hey now, you're an All-Star. Smash Mouth knows what's up, but unfortunately, some NBA players will not know what it's like to make the All-Star team. And that gives people plenty of things to complain about. Why do we always need to be outraged about something?

Since All-Star Weekend is upon us, we're talking about some of our favorite dunks from the Slam Dunk Contest, both impressive and wacky.

We also learn about another popular movie Sean has never seen and we each do terrible, one-word Owen Wilson impressions. Perhaps you can guess what that word is. Plus, here's that charming video we talked about of Scott Rolen telling his parents he made the Hall of Fame.

If you enjoyed this episode, we'd love to hear from you! Message the show on @sportsrdumb or drop a review wherever you listened to this podcast. Thanks for listening — you rock.

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day, if you also enjoy eating a lot of sugar and/or heart-shaped pizzas.

It's the Super Bowl this week, but we aren't chatting about football. Instead, Sean waxes poetic on an odd rule specific to college basketball. We also do talk a little Super Bowl — like what song will Rihanna kick off the halftime show with?

Plus, there are a ton of tangents (largely before we even start talking sports). Friday Night Lights. Video games like Zak McCracken and the Alien Mindbenders. Eating next to celebrities in restaurants.

Fitting for such a Super Bowl extravaganza of an episode!

Sean's Dallas Cowboys didn't make it past the divisional round during this year's NFL playoffs, but they still had a pretty darn good season. Yet listening to fans and analysts alike, you'd think it was the worst year ever. Sean thinks that's a rash, and thus dumb, reaction. And he doesn't want to hear it about it anymore.

Plus, the slime monster, mystery meats, a dissection of the music from the OG Pokemon games—shout out to the S.S. Anne!—and horrific horse stories from both Sean and Joey. Watch out for those wild stallions, y'all.

Finally, here's the delightful NFL Mic'd Up Moments video we chat about. Check it out!

Sean's been trying to better himself by going to the gym early in the morning. But that means he sees a lot of silly sports conversations, including endless speculation over whether star players will retire at the end of the year. This was happening even with several games left in the season. And so many of them rhyme!

This kind of speculation should probably simmer down. Sean also isn't a fan of wondering who will win next year like one week after this year's champion celebrates a title. It's enough to make anyone want to rip their headphones off and throw 'em through a window.

Plus, radio analysts thinking they're smarter than professional coaches and a silly sports cliche about how difficult things are.

Luka Doncic became the first player in NBA history to record a triple-double with at least 60 points, 20 rebounds, and 10 assists. But ESPN pundits were talking about whether New England Patriots quarterback Mac Jones is a guy the team can rely on.

It makes Sean so mad, he's physically sweating!

Plus, other ridiculous debates you can have and a silly sports cliche about types of errors.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers finished with a SUPER impressive 8-9 record. The Dallas Cowboys were four games ahead of them, ending the season at 12-5. So why in the world does Tampa Bay get to host a playoff game? Simple, because division winners get an automatic home game, regardless of their record. And that's pretty dumb, don't you think?

We saw the same thing happen with the MLB playoffs in 2022. What makes this even more baffling is that (some) other leagues have corrected this. We cover an occasion in the NBA where something similar happened. And wouldn't you know it, the league fixed the issue!

Plus, our top sports moments from last year—here's Sean's favorite. By the way, here's Joey's book! Give it a read. Or don't, but you'll only be hurting yourself.

This episode is presented by the Morning Blitz newsletter. Get the latest updates from the sports world in five minutes or less, delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up here.

Welcome to 2023! To celebrate, we're looking back at Christmas Day 2022. That's when Ja Morant delivered a dunk in the waning seconds of a game that was so impressive, it broke both the Internet and television.

The only problem: Morant missed the dunk and the Grizzlies lost by double digits. Why are we getting so hyped over failure?

Plus, pretending to draw charges in real life to deliver psychological warfare, mid-episode pickleball, leaping out of seats, and a silly sports cliche about physicality.

This episode is presented by the Morning Blitz newsletter. Get the latest updates from the sports world in five minutes or less, delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up here.

It's getting chilly outside, which means it's the perfect time for smash mouth football!

But no no — as Sean notes, Smash Mouth is a band, and football is a ball. And never shall the two meet. Bad weather football is silly and often not a reflection of a team's talent level. So why are we using it to decide super important outdoor sporting events?

Plus, a sports cliche about fashion wear, and here's that time a member of the Pittsburgh Pirates ground crew got swallowed by a tarp. Stay safe out there.

This is also our final episode of 2023! We'll see you in the new year, hopefully with some warmer weather (or at least a heavier jacket). Happy holidays, and may your sports not be too dumb.

This episode is presented by the Morning Blitz newsletter. Get the latest updates from the sports world in five minutes or less, delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up here.

Have you ever been watching a sporting event and noticed how every part of the game is sponsored by something? The Vicks VapoRub pregame show is followed by the Under Armour action replay. Then there's the A Charlie Brown Christmas halftime show and the Yellowstone National Park injury report. Wrap it all up with the Sugarhill Gang Rapper's Delight postgame show and you've got yourself a mouthful.

Speaking of weird sponsors, Joey reminisces on the time he went to an Amazon Go store and bought a Coca-Cola-flavored coffee, or maybe a coffee-flavored Coca-Cola. Whatever it was, it was bad.

Plus, remember this Clear Eyes commercial starring Ben Stein? What a throwback!

There's no better job in the world than being a fired college football coach. Do an average or even a poor job and earn millions of dollars to go away. Meanwhile, let's keep talking about how we can't pay the players on the field.

We're talking about some of the more exorbitant examples of coaches who have been fired this season. In a couple of cases, the school administration doing the firing could have saved money simply by waiting a few weeks. Money is wild, y'all.

Plus, Sean gets a boost in his karaoke confidence and has wild experiences while bowling for the first time in years and shuffleboarding for the first time in forever. And our sports cliche is quite the brain teaser. What a terrific time!