EPISODES
  • Best Of: West — Body Dysmorphia: Male Body Shame

    Secret Life Podcast Ep 173 — Body dysmorphic disorder is a mental health disorder in which you can't stop thinking about one or more perceived defects or flaws in your appearance — a flaw that appears minor or can't be seen by others. But you may feel so embarrassed, ashamed and anxious that you may avoid many social situations. — Body dysmorphic disorder - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic Body dysmorphic disorder affects about 1 in 50 people. In the United States, an estimated 5 million to 10 million people have this condition. 

    NAMI resources: https://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/Awareness-Events/Mental-Health-Awareness-Month

    Continuing our Best Of series, we share some of our listener favorites. The episode originally aired on May 10, 2021, as Ep #48.

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com

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    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

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    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

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    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)




    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    25m | Sep 25, 2023
  • Lisa: I’m a Recovering Sex & Love Addict and Still in the BDSM Community

    Lisa brings us into the world of BDSM and how she’s balancing that life and the life of recovery from sex and love addiction.

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com

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    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

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    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)




    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    28m | Sep 18, 2023
  • Best Of: Beau — Vanity: Perfectionism, Ego & Pride

    Society conditions us to strive to be perfect — be thin, toned, ripped, trimmed, waxed, peeled, tan, liked, followed, friended, and then... we will be loved. There's a misconception that only women put themselves under a microscope when it comes to their bodies and their looks, but men do too.

    Continuing our Best Of series, we share some of our listener favorites. The episode originally aired on November 2, 2020, as Ep #22.

    A new study points to a surprising connection between rising perfectionism in our culture and rising mental health issues, including depression and anxiety. The study, published in the American Psychological Association's Psychological Bulletin, suggests that young people are more obsessed with perfection than previous generations.

    Between 1989 and 2016, perfectionism has continued to rapidly increase in the US, with rates that parallel increased cases of depression and anxiety.

    Perfectionism is a combination of excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations.

    To connect with Beau on Instagram (@beaubaker_)

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com

    ______

    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

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    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    29m | Sep 11, 2023
  • Gwenn: I Was a Mute in My Marriage and Profession for 12 Years

    From a very young age, Gwenn realized that it was easier for her to do what people wanted instead of sharing her point of view. That theory carried into her marriage, profession, and motherhood. 

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com

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    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

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    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

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    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)




    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    25m | Sep 4, 2023
  • Jamie: I Was a Sober Mom and Relapsed on OxyContin

    Unfortunately, Jamie's story is all too familiar within the recovery community. A person with a decade of recovery from alcohol relapses on pain pills.

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com

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    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

    _____

    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)




    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    23m | Aug 28, 2023
  • JC: I Lied About Having Kids to Get a Job

    The entertainment industry is getting better about hiring more women and BPOC, but there was a time, not so long ago, when even the make-up and hair departments were run by men. JC and Brianne unpack what it’s like to be a mother in the film and tv business. 

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

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    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

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    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    25m | Aug 21, 2023
  • Best Of: Kellee Stewart: Single and Freezing Eggs

    Kellee has 29 eggs chillin 'in a freezer in El Segundo. It all started when her seven year relationship came to a tearful and agonizing end. The heartbreak of saying goodbye to her almost, maybe, or one day baby daddy sent her into a tailspin of anxiety about what her future may hold. Naturally she did what every newly single Black woman in her late thirties does - She froze her eggs. Except, that’s not quite what we all do, is it? In fact, we rarely talk about fertility with ourselves, or each other, until we’re actively trying to conceive. And if it doesn’t work - we panic.

    Continuing our Best Of series, we're sharing some of our listener favorites. The episode originally aired on August 2, 2020 as episode #5.

    To reach Kellee : @kstew222 Instagram | @Kellee_Stewart Twitter

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

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    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

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    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

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    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    29m | Aug 14, 2023
  • Claudia: I’m a Casting Director Who Was Secretly Married to a Successful Actor

    What happens when you’re a casting director, and you meet the perfect guy, except he’s an actor and right for most of the projects you cast? Would it help or hinder his chances if the producers and director knew? Do you keep it a secret? For how long? That’s what Brianne and Claudia explore in this episode. 

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

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    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

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    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)




    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    24m | Aug 7, 2023
  • Best Of: Brittany — I Hate Being a Mom Sometimes

    What they don’t tell you is that when your child is born, a part of you dies and you have to come to terms with this new identity. Brittany Ishibashi and Brianne share their stories of struggling with postpartum, trying to be the perfect mom and finding time for self-care in times of quarantine. The two swap hilarious stories of fantasizing about just walking out the door (with their masks on of course), only to have their child do something insanely adorable, reminding them why it’s all worth it.

    Continuing our Best Of series, we're sharing some of our listener favorites. The episode originally aired on August 25, 2020 as episode #11.

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    Connect with Brittany Ishibashi

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

    ______

    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

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    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

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    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)




    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    30m | Jul 31, 2023
  • Maryanne: I Had Multiple Affairs With Married Men — While I Was Married

    Growing up in a large family of six children, Maryanne struggled with feeling special; instead, it was more about being responsible. So when she herself got married and had kids, she saw an opportunity to explore what being special was like, even if it was with the wrong person.

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

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    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    Addiction, recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

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    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    24m | Jul 24, 2023
  • Stephanie: Emotional Eating — I Binge Eat Bags of Chips

    This week's episode is all about host Brianne Davis-Gantt's "Twin Soul," but surprise, surprise, it's not her husband Mark. It's actually her awesome sister, Stephanie! Now, let's dive into a topic we can all relate to: emotional eating.

    You know how sometimes we chow down on food not just because we're hungry, but because we're seeking comfort, stress relief, or a little treat? We've all been there. It's like reaching for that tub of ice cream when we're feeling down, eating a bag of chips, ordering a pizza out of sheer boredom or loneliness, or hitting up the drive-through after a ridiculously rough day at work.

    But here's the thing: emotional eating doesn't really solve our emotional problems. Nope, it just leaves us feeling worse. Not only are we still stuck with the original emotional issue, but now we're also hit with a side of guilt for overindulging. Talk about a double whammy!

    So, let's buckle up and join Brianne and Stephanie as they unravel the mysteries of emotional eating and find some fun and healthier ways to cope. 

    To learn more about Eating Disorders: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/where-do-i-start-0

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

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    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

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    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

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    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    21m | Jul 17, 2023
  • Best Of — Trinity: The Sexual Predator — My OB-GYN

    In another moment of "What the f@#% is wrong with some men," we have a brave survivor who shares her story of being sexually assaulted minutes after giving birth. Was this deep-seated secret fuel on the first for her addictions and suicidal thoughts? Listen to her heartbreaking and ultimately uplifting journey to recovery.

    Continuing our Best Of series, we share some of our listener favorites. The episode originally aired on March 29, 2021, as Ep #42.

    *TRIGGER WARNING - This episode contains topics of sexual assault, trauma, and abortion. Some people may find it disturbing.

    RAINN - Sexual Assault Hotline - Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area. https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline

    On March 26, 2021, USC agreed to pay over $1 bn to over a thousand victims. According to an editorial published in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology, over the past two years, at least eight gynecologists have landed in the media spotlight after sexual misconduct allegations, according to an editorial published in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology. That includes Dr. George Tyndall, the former longtime head gynecologist of the health center at the University of Southern California. 

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

    ______

    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

    _____

    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)




    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    36m | Jul 10, 2023
  • Best Of — Kristin: Perfectionism Almost Took My Life

    Battling depression and having a hard time asking for help, Kristin shares her heartbreaking and ultimately uplifting story when she shot herself in the chest in an attempted suicide.

    *Trigger Warning: Please note that this episode contains topics of suicide. Some people may find it disturbing. 

    You're not alone: Whether you have struggled with suicide yourself or have lost a loved one, know you are not alone. Hear about personal experiences from people in your local community whose lives have been impacted by suicide. Please check out American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: https://afsp.org

    Or if you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

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    Kristin:

    To connect with Kristin: Instagram: @kandrz

    #suicidepreventionmonth

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

    ______

    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

    _____

    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    31m | Jul 3, 2023
  • Cat: I’m Carrying Grief Around a Sick Parent

    For many adults, a parent getting sick is their first real experience with illness, disease, or facing the possible loss of a loved one. Both the ill parent and the adult child are faced with the idea of life without one another. Whether you live close to one another or far apart, the concept of not having your parent, this person who has literally never been more than a phone call away for your entire life is a scary prospect.

    Panic and anxiety frequently surface here too as one starts to imagine the future…holidays, weddings, and even mundane outings like weekend trips to the farmers market coming to an end. While taking a deep breath and vowing to take things one step at a time seems like great advice, it is very difficult to actually accomplish. Like it or not, there will likely be lots of tears, anguish, and sleepless nights spent worrying and envisioning worst-case scenarios. READ MORE

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

    ______

    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    Addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

    _____

    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    26m | Jun 26, 2023
  • Best Of — Chloe: Love Addiction, The Unavailable Man

    What happens when the man you love cheats on you… again and again? Or when his chronic, narcissistic behavior of gaslighting you every time is pushing you farther and farther away from trusting your instincts and your inner voice? This week, Chloe shares the heartbreaking story of a decade-long relationship and her journey of letting go and learning to trust herself once again. 

    Continuing our Best Of series, we share some of our listener favorites. The episode originally aired on March 1, 2021, as Ep #38.

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    If you or anyone you know is struggling with an addiction, depression, trauma, or sexual abuse, we've compiled a list of resources at https://secretlifepodcast.com.

    If you'd like to share your secret on the show or want to share your thoughts about an episode, please send an email to secretlifepodcast@icloud.com.

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    To find out more information about Brianne's book Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict, check out the website: https://secretlifenovel.com or At Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?

    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)

    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    27m | Jun 20, 2023
  • Rebecca Pt. 2 — Follow Up: I Flashed To My Own Love Addiction

    The follow up episode to Ep #157 - Brianne and Rebecca breakdown the last five minutes of the one on one interview with Raquel from Part 3 of Season 10 of Vanderpump Rule's. The two share the opinions and experience with love addiction.

    Relevant questions discussed in this episode about LOVE ADDICTION from Love Addictions Anonymous questionnaire

    • Do you find yourself flirting with or sexualizing someone even if you do not mean to?
    • Do you replace ended relationships immediately?
    • Do you feel that you don’t want anyone to know about your romantic activities?
    • Do you ever find yourself in relationships you are unable to leave?
    • Have you had sex with someone so that they will like you better or love you more?
    • Do you feel that you’re not “really alive” unless you are with your sexual/romantic partner?
    • Have you ever threatened your financial stability, reputation, or standing in the community by pursuing a love relationship?
    • Do you believe that the problems in your love life result from continuing to remain with the “wrong” person?
    • Do you ever get “high” from romance, fantasy or intrigue?
    • Do you have difficulty being alone?
    • Do you often feel an instant closeness and complete?

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    BRAVO ARTICLE: Raquel Leviss Reveals New Details About Her Affair with Tom Sandoval: “I Just Hate Lying So Much”

    After the Vanderpump Rules Season 10 reunion wrapped, Raquel Leviss sat down one more time to share new information about her affair with Tom Sandoval in a confessional filmed following the drama of the reunion.

    The interview, shown at the end of Part 3 of the reunion (which aired June 7), has Raquel clarifying the timeline of her relationship with Sandoval and making other big reveals.

    In the episode, it was revealed that “six days later, Raquel sat down for her final interview of the season,” and in that interview, she addressed more details about her affair with Sandoval, which ultimately led to the end of his nearly decade-long relationship with Ariana Madix.

    Raquel’s interview took place with a show producer, and in their candid chat, she spoke on several never-before-revealed details about her situation with Sandoval, and she addressed the timeline of their affair.

    “I think it’s important to me to tell the truth,” she said in Season 10 Episode 18. “I think that I’ve been lying and being so deceitful this entire time that I don’t want to lie anymore. And it’s all out there anyway, like the worst is out, yet I’m still finding myself having to lie about specific timeline things.”

    Another Big Secret

    From there, with tears in her eyes, she revealed, “We’ve, like, the one story that we’ve agreed on getting straight. And I know that the reason why Tom wanted to lie about it is because it’s a really bad look to hook up with someone’s boyfriend in their own house when they’ve gone out of town, especially for a funeral of all things. I don’t know. This f-cking killed my soul. I am so sick of lying. I hate it. I hate being deceitful. It’s horrible.”

    _____

    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

    ______

    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

    _____

    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    31m | Jun 12, 2023
  • Rebecca Pt. 1: I Slept With Tom Sandoval Too #Scandoval

    Sex, Love, Addiction, and Reality TV: The Toxic Relationships of Vanderpump Rules — Rebecca was deep in her alcohol and sex & love addiction 18 years ago when she met Tom Sandavol at a Hollywood house party, and they slept together. Despite the fact, they both were in relationships. 

    In the latest episode of Secret Life, host Brianne Davis teams up with guest Rebecca to delve deep into the intricate and toxic relationships portrayed on Bravo's Vanderpump Rules. Their critical and insightful analysis sheds light on the complex patterns of behavior and underlying issues at play, specifically focusing on the tumultuous love affair between Tom's narcissistic tendencies and Ariana. By examining the emotional dynamics and uncovering the nuances often overlooked by society, the podcast offers a serious exploration of the complexities of human relationships. From Tom and Raquel's affair to Ariana's missing the red flags, Secret Life dissects the frustrations of recovered sex and love addicts who feel that society fails to grasp the intricacies of these situations. Whether you're a devoted fan of the show or simply intrigued by the intricate dance between sex and love addiction, this thought-provoking podcast is a must-listen. 

    Check out the 40 Sex & Love Addiction Questionnaire for yourself:

    https://slaafws.org/40-questions/

    For more information about Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous: https://slaafws.org/

    _____

    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

    ______

    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

    _____

    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)


    Transcript

    Brianne 0:00:00

    Okay? So I know everything that's going on, and I just have to say to all the listeners, I don't do pop culture. I don't deal with that kind of shit. But this story, and I know you agreed with me, is so frustrating from a recovered sex and love addict that nobody's calling this shit, that they both are sex and love addicts.


    Tell me your secret, I'll tell you mine. Sometimes you have to go through the darkness to reach the light. That's what I did. After twelve years of recovery in sex and love addiction, I finally found my soulmate myself. Please join me in my novel, Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex and Love Addict. A four-time bestseller on Amazon. It's a brutal, honest, raw, gnarly ride, but hilarious at the same time. Check it out now on Amazon. Welcome to Secret Life Podcast.


    I'm Brianne Davis-Gantt. Today, I'm pulling back the curtains of all kinds of human secrets. You'll hear about what people are hiding from themselves or others. You know, those deep, dark secrets you probably want to take to your grave. Or those lighter, funnier secrets that are just plain embarrassing. Really, the how, what, when, where, and why of it all.

    Oh, my God. Today. My guest is Rebecca. Now, Rebecca, I have a question for you. Don't. Don't. Don't. What is your secret?


    Rebecca 0:01:31

    I had a one-night stand with Tom Sandoval 18 years ago when he had a girlfriend.


    Brianne 0:01:38

    Son of a nutcracker. He's been doing it for a long time.


    Rebecca 0:01:42

    Almost two decades.


    Brianne 0:01:44

    Two decades. Okay, before we get into it, when did this happen? Where did it happen? What?


    Rebecca 0:01:51

    Yeah, I know. So I met him originally in Miami. I lived in New York before, and I used to go to Miami a lot. And I want to say this was 2003 or 2004.


    Brianne 0:02:02

    Okay.


    Rebecca 0:02:03

    And I was drinking very heavily. Met him at a club. I was there with my sister. And I remember it's fuzzy because I was very, very drunk.


    Brianne 0:02:12

    This is before I got sober and.


    Rebecca 0:02:14

    I met him and a bunch of his friends at a club. And we thought he was cute, so we introduced ourselves, and then he said, Come hang out with us. And I remember him popping champagne bottles and spraying it, which he still does.


    Brianne 0:02:31

    Wow. Yeah.


    Rebecca 0:02:33

    And I don't remember who else was with him, but I know that he lived with Jax at the time, so.


    Brianne 0:02:37

    He might have been there.


    Rebecca 0:02:38

    I just don't remember. I didn't know him then, so we didn't hook up with him that night, but nothing happened. So then fast forward maybe a year, and at this point, me and my sister had moved to Los Angeles. And this is like, the height of my drinking. This is one of the most drunk nights I've ever had. Like, it sticks out as really out of control. Like, very out of control. And I went to a liquor store and I remember these guys coming in and thinking I was funny because I was drunk. And then they were like, do you want to go come to a house party with us? And like an idiot, I was like, sure. And I went to this house party. I don't know whose house it was, where it was, what part of town.


    Brianne 0:03:20

    Like, no clue, no memory.


    Brianne 0:03:22

    So scary. I'm so scared for you right now.


    Rebecca 0:03:25

    I know, but it was like a legit, typical Hollywood house party with a couple of another reality star. So there was probably some celebrities or well known Hollywood people at this party. And I remember seeing Tom sort of remember and going up to him. I'm like, oh, it's Tom Sandoval. Where I met him. Miami. I remembered him because we thought he was really cute. And I guess I went up to him and was like, do you remember me and my sister? She looks like a lot like me. And he said yes. And then I guess we were talking, and I said something like, my sister thinks you're really hot. Can I bring you home to her?


    Brianne 0:04:06

    We live together.


    Rebecca 0:04:07

    Can I bring you home for her?


    Brianne 0:04:09

    Like a present?


    Rebecca 0:04:11

    Exactly.


    Brianne 0:04:13

    Here's your party favorite. Enjoy. Okay.


    Rebecca 0:04:17

    I remember going home, and me and.


    Brianne 0:04:20

    My sister had lived together at the time, but she wasn't home for whatever reason.


    Rebecca 0:04:24

    So I said something like, well, I can't let you go to waste.


    Brianne 0:04:29

    Yeah, that's a line.


    Brianne 0:04:34

    Yeah.


    Rebecca 0:04:35

    He was completely unfazed by whoever, whatever. I was like, yeah, I can't let you go to waste, so do you want to go upstairs? And he was like, yeah, sure. I just remember thinking, okay, that was easy because at the time, I treated men like conquest, and I was very into male models. Since I had lived in New York, he was just another male model. So we went upstairs, did the deed. I sort of remember either. I told him first that I had a boyfriend.


    Brianne 0:05:04

    Okay.


    Rebecca 0:05:05

    He told me that he had a girlfriend, and it was very life, matter of fact.


    Brianne 0:05:08

    No guilt about it.


    Rebecca 0:05:10

    Just like, yeah, I have a girlfriend. Oh, yeah, I have a boyfriend. And then it was sort of right before the act.


    Brianne 0:05:16

    Yeah.


    Rebecca 0:05:17

    And then we did and it didn't take very long.


    Brianne 0:05:21

    It didn't last very long.


    Rebecca 0:05:22

    It wasn't very nothing to write home about, from what I remember. And then I guess I got his number because I gave it to my sister later, which is so weird and twisted.


    Brianne 0:05:31

    So weird and twisted. Alcoholic. Yeah. Here, I just left with him. Your turn, CIS.


    Brianne 0:05:41

    Yeah.


    Rebecca 0:05:41

    I was like, sorry, life. You weren't home. But she didn't care, and so he left. And then I hadn't seen him since. I haven't talked to him. I didn't ever text him.


    Brianne 0:05:52

    Okay. So I know everything that's going on, and I just have to say to all the listeners, I don't do pop culture. I don't deal with that kind of shit. But this story, and I know you agreed with me, it's so frustrating from a recovered sex and love addict that nobody's calling this shit, that they both are sex and love addicts.


    Brianne 0:06:16

    Exactly.


    Brianne 0:06:18

    It's so frustrating. And why did you reach out to me about it? Because I want to hear it from your point of view. Because you slept with him?


    Brianne 0:06:25

    Yes, because I've been watching the show, obviously. And I actually started watching because I recognized him on the commercials after I slept with him. This was about I don't know, it was years before Vanderpump Rules. And the whole case just fascinated me for so many reasons, as it does pretty much the rest of America and so many other people beyond. And it's just so layered and it's so interesting why it's captivated so many people. Considering cheating is not an uncommon thing, especially on Bravo, especially on Vanderpump Rules. It's like what the show was based on. So I really wanted to share that aspect of it and talk about how this is a pattern life. He was just found out. But this is happening 18 years ago. And since then I got sober, I'm in slaa, I've identified as a sex and love addict. So I just see so many things that people are not really talking about.


    Brianne 0:07:27

    Yeah, and society is missing. It's almost like a secret society is keeping from our human race, because the number one thing people want is love and affection and attention and intimacy. But majority of humans are terrified of it. So we go from person to person to person. Doesn't really even matter who they are, to get this need filled. And we're all just like running around like toddlers, wanting, giving, giving. And here's an example of two people willing to blow up their whole fucking life exactly. For that little thing where they think it's everything. It's that life. Roller coaster, intensity, passion. So let's break it down. So when you are watching it, and I know you've listened to a lot of other podcasts, I mean, JLo is talking about it like, JLo, that's crazy.


    Brianne 0:08:21

    It's in Time Magazine, it's in Variety, it's in every major publication. It sort of transcended the Bravo and reality show universe. And there's a reason why I think it's relatable to so many people, but they can't quite put their finger on why.


    Brianne 0:08:36

    Yeah. So what is other podcasts saying that's making you frustrated as a recovered sex and love addict?


    Brianne 0:08:42

    I just don't think that they're touching on that aspect. I think they're more focused on it's, like black and white. It's a betrayal, obviously, but they're not going into the nuances of what Tom might be feeling or where he might be coming from, or what's going on with Raquel, what their histories and their childhoods might have been like. And one of the most interesting things about it is that Ariana, it turns out knew about Miami Girl and was protecting him. And there's just so many aspects about their relationship that I relate to in other relationships as well. Sort of the manipulation and the narcissism. Not to diagnose anyone, although it used to be a therapist. But there's just so many things that people are missing. I've heard a couple of podcasts coming at it from a psychological and intuitive empathic sort of way. But most of the podcasts are missing.


    Brianne 0:09:41

    That well, they're just ragging on them. And listen, I'm speaking from a place where I was a cheater, cheated all the time, go from person to person, overlap them. So I'm coming in from and listen, I was a piece of shit. I will say that I was in my addiction. It was all about me. Selfish, self involved, fill me up, give me attention, give me what I need. In the moment the high wore off and the excitement, I would start looking for somebody else.


    Brianne 0:10:05

    I'm familiar, right?


    Brianne 0:10:06

    So I have no judgment on Tom. And then I also know, and you and I have talked about this before a long time ago. Well, not a long time ago, but when it came out, we said, listen, poor Ariana, she is the victim, but she also has a place when someone cheats, and I know a lot of people don't agree with me when someone cheats, it takes those two people in the relationship to actually make that happen. She avoided the red flags, she made excuses, she kept a secret, a huge.


    Brianne 0:10:40

    Secret for seven years that lied about it.


    Rebecca 0:10:44

    New women.


    Brianne 0:10:44

    Yeah. So she missed those signs. And then when the intimacy is going away, which she said, our intimacy has been bad, when that starts to break, you're responsible to repair it.


    Brianne 0:11:00

    Yes, and she said she tried, but we don't really know what happened.


    Brianne 0:11:06

    Yeah, she should have. But here's the thing, then she could say, something's missing, something's going on, you're staying out late, you're not home, you're not spending that much time with me. Red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag.


    Brianne 0:11:20

    Yes. And we've all done it. We've all ignored red flags and wasted years doing that. And then we're blindsided and then we're like, what happened? But in hindsight, we can see all the red flags that were there and that we maybe willfully ignored.


    Brianne 0:11:35

    So I did read something I Want to Tell you and see your take on it, that he's a narcissist. Listen, I had narcissistic tendencies. I'm not a narcissist, but I have them. And we're not saying he is. And then she did a post a while ago, raquel that she was going to codependency twelve step program Coda. And I was thinking it's not really a Coda situation because I pulled up some of the things is that you will still see a person that's destructive to you. So there's something in her. So that's like the questions. There's 40 questions in Flaw and one of them is, do you find yourself unable to stop seeing a specific person even though that person is destructive to you?


    Brianne 0:12:20

    Yeah. And she did this with James, too. I mean, James was destructive in a totally different way. But she seeks these men out that are very strong personalities and possible narcissists and manipulative. And they're very different in the way that they sort of abused her, but they both were pretty toxic for her.


    Brianne 0:12:42

    Overwhelming. She loses her sense of self in the relationship.


    Brianne 0:12:47

    Yes. And maybe she feels stronger having someone like that at her side because she's not strong on her own. She's kind of fascinating. She has a lot of oh, yeah. History. That she was adopted by her aunt.


    Brianne 0:13:05

    Abandonment, rejection from her birth mom.


    Brianne 0:13:09

    Yes. Even though she would probably deny it, because the way that she frames it is really interesting. She said something like, my birth mom was kind enough to give me to her sister, essentially because she couldn't conceive. And she framed it in a way that's a very pageant answer. And then the pageant is a whole that pageant world is a whole other animal where she competed against other women. Other women had this perfectionism, which is why I think a lot of times she seems rehearsed and very stoic and very put together, but there's nothing there.


    Brianne 0:13:49

    Well, here's number 14 is, do you feel desperate for a lover or a future mate? It's like instead of going outside this group, she went inside the circle and saw, oh, here's they have a house, they have this. This is what I want. Oh, and he's like a rock star now. Because here's the other thing I want to say. One of the huge characteristics for sex and love addicts, and I love this characteristic, it's my favorite. But we assign magical qualities to others. We idealize and pursue them and then blame them for not fulfilling our fantasies and expectations. And I believe both of them do that.


    Brianne 0:14:25

    Both of them did that for him. He was the answer to his midlife crisis. She made him feel seen. She made him feel special.


    Brianne 0:14:37

    Yes, you heard and validated.


    Brianne 0:14:41

    She's very different than Ariana. Ariana will tell it like it is, and she will just be heart eyes and just very admiring of him. And that's what he needed at that time. If he is a narcissist, that's what he's going to want. He's going to want someone admiring. But does she really see him? I don't know.


    Brianne 0:15:03

    No, she doesn't. So that's the thing. Even when they're talking to each other, because you and I just looked at some of the reunion, even when they were in that winnebago or away from the set, they were talking to each other. It's almost like they weren't even seeing each other. It was really interesting to watch. It was like their eyes were glazed over. So it's almost this false form of intimacy that I was seeing that they didn't even seem like they actually knew each other or that they've had sex before. Even when people I used to work as an actor, I go on set and I would know who's fucking who life. You're fucking the hair person, you're with the extra. You're doing this because you can feel that energy. But something in them, and it wasn't because the cameras were on them, because you can still see it. Because we could see it before. There's something where they used each other for false intimacy and it's actually not there.


    Brianne 0:15:58

    Yeah, they don't really do that, too. I did. I mean, both scenes that we saw of them together, pretty much everyone is saying that it was weird, it was awkward. And I'm sure most people chalked it up to and they could chalk it up to there's cameras there. But yeah, I didn't see the connection, the intimacy, the love.


    Brianne 0:16:16

    But they've had cameras for a long time, so they're used to cameras. It's not like somebody new.


    Brianne 0:16:21

    Yeah, but it was a secret that was being exposed and finally filmed. And so I'm sure they didn't know how to act, but I didn't see any connection or intimacy, literally.


    Brianne 0:16:32

    Could you see them having an affair for seven months? I did not feel that intimacy at all. It was almost like evaporates. And I think that's what I wanted to say to you, too, and see if you agree, is when we love secrets and lies, the dirtier, the dark, we get to fester in secrets and lies. And when it comes to light, it never lives up to the fantasy.


    Brianne 0:16:56

    You could see that the magic was gone, the bubble was burst. You could see that in the trailer. It's like, oh, consequences. Now it's real life, and we're not in this little secret, exciting, forbidden bubble anymore. Now everyone else is involved and it's ugly and it's real life. And like Ariana even said, wait till she starts having real demands and expectations of a girlfriend. She's not going to be so cool and exciting then. And that was Ariana's experience. It's the same pattern repeated.


    Brianne 0:17:31

    Yeah. And listen, Ariana could have a little love addict in her. And I believe most of society has this because we all yearn to be loved. But I wanted to read this characteristic. We feel empty and incomplete when we are alone. Even though we fear intimacy and commitment, we continually search for relationships and sexual contacts.


    Brianne 0:17:51

    Absolutely.


    Brianne 0:17:52

    I mean, how many stories have we I've heard much more stories about him. Been cheating a lot. Like 1112 people. So this is something where he's going into we call it relocating, where you go to other locations and you find people to intrigue with or flirt with or hook up with, and then you leave them there.


    Brianne 0:18:16

    Yeah.


    Brianne 0:18:20

    Sorry.


    Brianne 0:18:21

    No, that's okay. This is 18 years ago, and he had a girlfriend then. And then the next time I saw him, he was with Kristen. That was five or six years they lived together. Very codependent, cheating on her the whole time. And then he went right from that to Ariana. And then he cheated on her from the beginning, whether you want to call it cheating or not. Miami girl. And then I believe there are way more than two or three that he's admitting to.


    Brianne 0:18:50

    100%. I would give money on it, because what happens is this is a progressive disease. It's a thinking disease. It's actually not about the other person, we think. And it progressively gets worse. So the higher the stakes means you've been doing it a long time. And here's the stakes. It was her best friend seven months on television for them to even think. And she even said in the interview, I thought it would be okay with Ariana. I thought they would break up. Then him and I could start dating. That was my reality. And in my head, I was screaming, no, that was your fucking fantasy.


    Brianne 0:19:29

    Yeah.


    Brianne 0:19:31

    That is life. How toxic and how this disease will make you think the craziest things will work out and they won't.


    Brianne 0:19:40

    Yeah. I wonder if she thought that, because that's exactly what happened with Kristen and Ariana's overlap. Like, he came on the reunion, we didn't see this, but he had broken up with Kristen and then now he's with Ariana. And maybe she thought that their situation would play out the same way if they weren't caught. That's what would have happened. He would have broken up with Ariana, and the next reunion, they would be together next season, maybe, and everybody would just accept it eventually. That's what she thought. And I think she even said that I was living in my own little world. And even Lala also pointed out that.


    Brianne 0:20:17

    Living in fantasy, that she thought it was going to work out. I mean, even Randall, I've met him and gone in for him and castings and stuff. And it's like I smelled him from a mile away of also having this problem. Let's just get to it.


    Brianne 0:20:30

    Yeah. I think somebody said maybe it was Ariana. She said the way that he talks about her is exactly the way that he talked about me in the beginning. And so many I've looked at scenes that are almost identical of what he said about Kristen. We're not having sex. She cringes when I touch her. We were basically roommates. And he's saying the exact same things about Ariana. So it's a pattern of over. I mean, that's 15 years right there.


    Brianne 0:20:59

    Well, here's the third characteristic, and this one is going to nail ding, ding. It says furied emotional and sexual deprivation. So he felt he had emotional deprivation and sexual deprivation. We compulsively pursue and involve ourselves in one relationship after another, sometimes having more than one sexual or emotional liaison at a time, so that's that overlap. It's like, can't be alone. I'm empty. I'm empty. Fill me up. Give me the sexual needs. Give me the emotional needs.


    Brianne 0:21:37

    Yeah, it's life leapfrogging from one thing to another. Life I've never seen again. This is like two decades from what I've seen and from what I know of the exact same thing. I can't be alone. I can't be alone.


    Rebecca 0:21:50

    Can't be alone.


    Brianne 0:21:51

    I need that girlfriend, but I also need that excitement on the outside.


    Brianne 0:21:56

    Yeah. And here's Raquel's one. We confuse love with neediness. Physical and sexual attraction, pity or the need to rescue or be rescued.


    Brianne 0:22:06

    Yeah, with James, I guess she was trying to rescue him.


    Brianne 0:22:09

    Yeah, but here's the thing. She was trying to rescue Sandoval from his relationship with Ariana, and then she want to be rescued by him in her loneliness. And she couldn't sit within herself. And we were forgetting she hooked up with that other married guy before in Vegas.


    Brianne 0:22:29

    Schwartz.


    Brianne 0:22:31

    No, schwartz and then the one before. Yes.


    Brianne 0:22:34

    I mean, she went from Peter to Oliver to Schwartz, which I think was a decoy, set up something. It was either production or Sandoval trying to cover his tracks. Or she was trying to make him jealous. That both.


    Brianne 0:22:48

    I actually think both.


    Brianne 0:22:49

    Yeah, because he wasn't committing. I mean, I think what we're hearing is completely different than what they were talking about behind closed doors and what they had planned. Maybe. I mean, there's a theory that she was with Sandoval when she was with James and that's why she broke up with him. She broke the engagement off because it was kind of out of nowhere.


    Brianne 0:23:11

    Well, he was paying for their engagement, which is very odd, very strange. It's almost like the seeds were being planted. And it's like a type of not grooming, but a type of grooming situation where, listen, healthy people do not pick unhealthy people. I always say, when you do this work, anybody you choose right now is unhealthy because a healthy person sees those signs, sees those boundaries, and will not put up with them. So anytime someone with these behaviors, who they pick is just unhealthy? That's exactly it. Because here's the thing. Ariana did kiss him while he was with Kristen. There's a part of her that's unhealthy, and people aren't saying that. And listen, she is the victim. I feel horrible for her, absolutely terrible. But she also played out the same pattern. Yes. Not saying that.


    Brianne 0:24:12

    No, not saying that. I mean, it's interesting that she's so the victim right now. Everybody feels so bad for her. Andy did touch on it a little bit in the reunion. He said, Listen, this is a room full of cheaters. Ariana, you kissed Sandoval while he was with Kristen. And the thing is, in rewatching the show, she's never once copped to that and said, I mean, she admitted it, but she never said, yeah, that was wrong. I'm sorry, Kristen, that was wrong. That was still cheating. And by the way, I don't know if they just kissed. But even if they just kissed, that's still cheating. That's still doing the same thing that ended up kind of happening to her.


    Brianne 0:24:54

    But here's the thing. They're not saying my friend, they're not saying they had an emotional affair already. They were best friends. First of all, I don't know about you, but I don't believe men and women, if that's the sexual if that's who you're attracted to, I don't believe it's a healthy scenario to have a lot of guy friends or to have a guy best friend. No, I just don't. The energy exchange, usually somebody would fuck somebody, so it's not a real friendship.


    Brianne 0:25:23

    Agree.


    Brianne 0:25:24

    They were having an emotional affair. That's worse than kissing. That's worse. And no one's saying that.


    Brianne 0:25:32

    No one's saying that. I know it is. I mean, Kristen said that in the reunion. She said, well, you guys were having an emotional affair. And I think they kind of denied that. But it's pretty clear. I wouldn't want my boyfriend texting his friend who's really hot, who I'm threatened by at three in the morning and saying what certain things that they were saying. It's inappropriate, to say the least. And she never really owned that. Neither of them ever caught to that. We're friends, we're friends. And then he said the same thing about Raquel. We're friends. We're friends. We're dancing at the Abbey at 02:00 A.m..


    Brianne 0:26:08

    It's normal.


    Brianne 0:26:10

    No, it's not. It is not normal. Whoever you're hanging out whoever's hanging out with somebody at 01:00 A.m., that is not a healthy situation. In the dark is where things get fucked up. And here's the one I want to say, because this is the characteristic for what we're talking about, is having few healthy boundaries. We become sexually involved with and or emotionally attached to people without knowing them. Now, he could say, Ariana and I knew each other back then, and it's like, no, you didn't. You worked behind a bar. Yes, you worked together. But do you actually know the person? Probably they trauma bonded. Probably they complained about Kristen and she felt closer to him and they had this connection. Oh, my God. I can't tell you, if I hear one more person saying, oh, the connection, we were like, I've never connected to another person. I'm like that's a bunch of BS.


    Brianne 0:27:03

    Sorry.


    Brianne 0:27:04

    Yes.


    Brianne 0:27:08

    That was my alarm. Yeah. I think that she probably trauma bonded with him also because she had talked about in her last relationship, she dealt with a lot of emotional and verbal abuse, and she was talked down to and her self esteem was just obliterated. So, yeah, they probably did trauma bond over these toxic relationships that they were in. And they both said that. She said that over and over. Like, I've known him for six years. We've been friends for six years. As if that sort of or no, three years, I think it was at the time. As if that sort of overshadows the actual intimate relationship that Kristen had with him. And they acted like they knew each other on that intimate level because they were friends for three years.


    Brianne 0:27:56

    Yeah.


    Brianne 0:27:57

    And it's not the same thing. They didn't know each other that way. So they said, you don't even know.


    Brianne 0:28:04

    The person that you're with sometimes for years. My husband and I have been together for 18 years, and I still learn things about him. So if you think this overwhelming connection or you know this person, you do not you do not ever there's a part of us that is never fully yes, we're connected. I'm the most connected I've ever been, but I had years and years of therapy and work on myself and my intimacy and all of that. But Tom and Raquel or Tom and Ariana are all these scenarios. First of all, they don't know each other. You're living in an altered reality in general, on television. None of that is fucking real. I've been an actress for 20 something years. It is not real. None of it. So they all live in fantasy. And these two people, let's say, took the fantasy to the next level. And no one is calling it what it is. And now they say she's in rehab or a mental facility.


    Brianne 0:29:05

    Do you believe that? I want to know if you believe that

    Brianne 0:29:08

    I don't. Honestly, I have no idea what's going on with her. I think it's probably a good thing that she's not in the public eye right now and in everyone's face, like Sandoval is. She's not flaunting. Whatever she's doing, I mean, it's good that she's out of the public eye in a way. I don't know where she is. Life. Maybe she's at a maybe she's with her parents. Maybe she's at because she seems very reliant on them. And, um maybe she's at a spa that she's sorry. Calling a wellness resort. Maybe there's a theory that she was pregnant and so she's in hiding at her grandmother's house. I don't know. She's more of the mysterious piece for me. She's hard to read.


    Brianne 0:29:52

    It's that facade. That mask is that perfectionism.


    Brianne 0:29:56

    It's the reflection that all these men because I look.



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    40m | Jun 5, 2023
  • Best Of — Robert: Coming Out in Hollywood

    In celebration of the First Day of LGBTQ+ Pride Month, we’re re-releasing one of our Best Of episodes today. Robert Gonzalez Gant share's about coming out as a proud gay man in Hollywood and the shift that is possible for those who struggled with acceptance.

    Continuing our Best Of series, we share some of our listener favorites. The episode originally aired on August 2, 2020, as Ep #3.

    _____

    About Robert Gant - Like you, I started out with big goals and dreams for my life but little idea how to realize them. Gradually, I began to do that when I hit a crisis point. These external accomplishments weren’t addressing the low self-image from childhood that lingered internally. I remember the day many years ago when, on the steps of a beautiful home I shared with a partner, I contemplated suicide. 

    That moment set me on a decades-long path of self-improvement, success, and spiritual awakening. It fueled my desire to help others change their own lives. Along the way, I’ve stumbled, as we all do, and have learned and grown from each experience. I’m grateful, on the other side of them, to have manifested some of my greatest life visions.

    My process of waking up has included accumulating several decades of knowledge in the areas of love, romance, money, and relationships, among others. My intensive overall spiritual journey has informed my perspective about the true nature of life and how to relate to what we deal with as humans. This journey has given me some of the foundation for the work we'll do together to help you live your best life.

    I’m also a certified Trainer and Master Practitioner of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), TIME Techniques™, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), and Life and Success Coaching — all of which have impacted the way I relate to my coaching work and to the role of the subconscious mind on our life experience.

    Helping others wake up to the true nature of life and then clarify their goals and dreams and turn them into reality is one of my great passions. It’s from this place of awakened doing that an amazing life emerges. Let’s discover yours.

    CHECK OUT MORE: https://robertgant.com

    Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

    _____

    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

    ______

    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

    _____

    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)



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    27m | Jun 1, 2023
  • Best Of — Kat: I Used Men on Social Media and Sent Nudes

    Searching for attention and a means to support her daughter as a single mother, Kat put herself in situations that were not only dangerous, they prolonged and fed her alcohol and drug addiction. 

    Continuing our Best Of series, we share some of our listener favorites. The episode originally aired on March 28, 2022, as Ep #94.

    _____

    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

    ______

    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE: addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

    _____

    Brianne's novel: SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT Check out the website: Secret Life Novel or buy on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    40m | May 29, 2023
  • Best Of — Susan: I Married a Narcissistic Sociopath

    While still deep in her addiction, Susan married a sociopath and was trauma bonded with him for the first four years of her sober journey; he continued to drink daily while she focused on staying sober even through the abuse. Once she finally found the strength to walk away, her husband continued to stalk and harass her up until the day he decided to end his life. She shares her story today to help others that may be trapped in an abusive relationship or suffer from alcoholism. Her is a message of hope! Susan is a Southern California native with two grown daughters and is a recovering alcoholic that has been sober for ten years. 

    Continuing our Best Of series, we share some of our listener favorites. The episode originally aired on Feb 28, 2022, as Ep #90.

    _____

    If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.

    ______

    To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com

    _____

    SECRET LIFE’S TOPICS INCLUDE:

    addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness.

    _____

    Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle

    _____

    Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon

    ______

    HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?


    Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)


    Connect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)



    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    32m | May 22, 2023
Secret Life
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