Let’s start a month where there are presents for all. Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch) is the fastest on the track. He’s a force to be reckoned with. “He’ s a demon on wheels.” When his racing family is approached by Royalton (Roger Allam) and his shady but infinitely wealthy company for sponsorship, and when Speed declines his offer, things take a dark turn. There’s much more than racing going on here. Who is really in control? Racer X (Matthew Fox) will unravel some mysteries and participate in secret racing with Speed. Taejo Togokhan (Rain) forms a temporary alliance. We are treated to all the fun and classic characters such as Trixie (Christina Ricci), Mom (Susan Sarandon), Pops (John Goodman) and Spritle (Paulie Litt) and Chim Chim. RTS strap into their Mach 5s and gun it. La-Mar, Collin and Jeremy take to the skies in their helicopters and keep us safe. “All you gotta do is listen. Close your eyes and listen.”

We hope you all ate 50 pounds of food and are now ready for a heist – a tower heist! Blend yourself a smoothie of potatoes and gravy, and let’s get the money back that is owed to you. Josh Kovaks (Ben Stiller) is a diligent manager of a wealthy condo complex and does everything that is asked of him – and more! This includes supervising the pensions of the employees at the tower. When Arthur Shaw (Alan Alda) is arrested, it becomes clear that he has stolen all the employees’ pensions, and he is most likely going to walk. Hard work leads Josh to only losses when the game is rigged. With some ego prodding from FBI agent Claire Denham (Téa Leoni), Josh enlists the help of an incredible group of people with special skill sets. Slide (Eddie Murphy) trains them to become criminals. Charlie (Casey Affleck) flip flops through the plan. Enrique (Michael Peña) oversees all things electric. Odessa (Gabourey Sidibe) can crack any safe. Mr. Fitzhugh (Matthew Broderick) is a human calculator and simply amazing. If they can get their acts together, this team might get some payback. RTS will sneak through backrooms and elevators during this covert mission. La-Mar and Collin will be drinking cranberry martinis while distracting you with the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Why spend on Black Friday when you can take it back? 

Another broken future is coming for you! But, this one has sports! Jonathan E. (James Caan) is the best around in Rollerball, but now he is being asked to retire after this season's championship. He wants answers – he has too many questions about everything. Some corporate executive took his wife, Ella (Maud Adams). That’s something most would wonder about. Those in power, such as Mr. Bartholomew (John Houseman), do not like this. Answering questions in the future is not how it’s done! Having 4 TVs in every room so you can pine over your stolen wife by watching surveillance video and horse rides with her is how it’s done! Moonpie (John Beck) is the party teammate you want to have looking out for you. RTS kicks some computers while looking for answers. Collin and Jeremy lace up their skates and gas up their motorcycles for this hot action! No penalties for being amazing! Grab your “privilege pass” and let’s hang out. 

Richard Bachman is Stephen King, the author of this book! He brings us into a dystopian future (seems like all the futures are going this way) where corporations rule and freedoms are restricted. Ben Richards (Arnold Schwarzenegger), a soldier, somehow just learned of the future and how the future operates, so he’s not in for randomly killing innocent people when ordered to do so. Future baddies don’t like this, so they arrest him, manipulate the media with public lies and they eventually put him on a game show. Within the game, hosted by Damon Killian (Richard Dawson), Richards learns a lot about friendship, love and the power of people – just like a trip to summer camp. Amber (Maria Conchita Alonso) finds out the truth of it all, and there are tons of fun cameos – including Yaphet Kotto, Jim Brown and Jesse Ventura. RTS will be getting an autograph from Professor Subzero (Professor Toru Tanaka – you are missed). Chris joins us to chainsaw where chainsaws don’t belong. Mario makes his Rabbit Troop Sucks debut, and he makes sure we all get the home version of the game. Tune in and make sure you return beyond the reruns. Always trust Kelton Flame Throwers!

In 1996, Det. John Spartan (Sylvester Stallone) is sent to a cryo-prison because he has awesomely brought in maniac Simon Phoenix (Wesley Snipes), and he is just too rad for modern society. In 2032, this “Demolition Man” is reinstated, and this upgraded killer is let loose on the wimps of the future. Lt. Lenina Huxley (Sandra Bullock) is smitten with this chaotic crime spree (and Murder Death Kills) and learning from Spartan’s action-forward ways. Seems there has been little crime since the earthquake of 2010. Edgar Friendly (Denis Leary) and his underground gang want in on some Taco Bell. TB did win the Franchise Wars, so they are quite popular! RTS will be hanging underground but not eating rat burgers! La-Mar and Jeremy are naturals at the three seashells but are not fans of the lack of salt and alcohol. Let’s all look at this future where VR sex is awful, but the streets are clean. The music is amazing, but the food lacks everything! Seems like a real boggle! 

It’s time for another SUPER HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR episode! Happy Halloween from RTS! The stars have aligned on the palm of Brayker (William Sadler), a man (and Demon Knight) on the run with what might be the most important mission in the universe. Tracking him and breaking hearts along the way, we have The Collector (Billy Zane). He’s hellbent on finding Brayker’s key/container that contains the blood of Christ. If he obtains this key (the last of seven), the universe will become a demon’s playground. This night turns into a vicious game of hide and seek – with demons and demon goo! Jada Pinkett Smith, CCH Pounder, Dick Miller, Thomas Haden Church and others make appearances in an attempt to survive within an inn until sunup. La-Mar and Jeremy shield their minds and try not to get Zaned! The Crypt Keeper is there – laughing! Join for this RTS ghoulish Halloween episode and for some party trivia

Roger Cobb (William Katt) is the Greatest American Hero and an okay writer – maybe. He’s got a lot going on. He’s going through a divorce with Sandy (Kay Lenz), their child has been missing for a questionable amount of time, he’s writing a terrible book and there are weird demons (including Richard Moll) haunting his newly inherited house. Side note: Aunt Elizabeth (Susan French) might be the real villain here. Luckily, Harold (George Wendt) is always nearby with some beers and Chinese takeout. Tanya (Mary Stavin) will be wearing little and swimming outside or dropping off her kid for impromptu babysitting. Jeremy, La-Mar and Collin take on this evil and endure Cobb’s endless drone writing about walking around. Why did this house want to haunt anyone? Who knows! RTS want to give you answers, but only a bathroom mirror portal can help you now. 

It’s October in the 30s in Green Town, Illinois in the world of Ray Bradbury. The townspeople are full of memories and regrets. Kids will be kids. Evil will lurk. Dark’s Pandemonium Carnival comes to town, and evil does lurk! Green mist-lurking! Will Halloway (Vidal Peterson) and his best friend Jim Nightshade (Shawn Carson) are relentless with their curiosity about the carnival and those who run it. Mr. Dark (Jonathan Pryce) is sick of their childish tomfoolery and constant interference, and while he is granting wishes/taking souls (it gets spiritually complicated) in town, he's on the search for Will and Jim. Charles Halloway (Jason Robards) is Will’s dad and too old to swim? He's under the doc’s orders for daily cigars though. RTS will be running wild in the woods at night. There’s a night train to catch! Jeremy and Collin get SUPER into “dust witch” and things of the like. ‘Tis the season! Keep carving your pumpkins and watching Are You Afraid of the Dark? Also, be careful what you wish for.

Horace Pinker (Mitch Pileggi) is on a killing spree! This seems convenient in a town that does little about it. Jonathan (Peter Berg) is having a bad life. Everyone he loves has been taken by Pinker – except Lt. dad/Don (Michael Murphy). Now that Jonathan has magic dream powers and an “anything goes” town pass, he’s ready to track down Pinker, send him to be executed and then chase him into a beyond death electric game of cat and mouse and possession cat and mouse (which is hardcore in cat/mouse circuits). RTS join the football team/the real Dudes of Wrath. La-Mar and Jeremy are SHOCKED to find out how it all ends. Does it ever really end? A child drives a backhoe. Allison (Camille Cooper) is a ghost flirt. Rhino (Richard Brooks) is a true BFF! John Tesh, what’s going on!? 

Welcome to the start of Halloween month! What better way to start than being attacked by machines that have come to life? “You can’t! We made you!” Bill (Emilio Estevez) is just a short order cook working for Bubba (Pat Hingle) at the Dixie Boy when he’s called to become a hero. This hero is mainly hooking up Brett (Laura Harrington) and figuring out how to survive. And, this is Estevez’s third movie with us! Did you know there was a UFO in this story? Did you know this was the only film directed by Stephen King? Yeardley Smith is here! AC/DC is going to rock your face off! RTS will be hiding out in the arcade with the guy from Breaking Bad during much of this. La-Mar launches many-a-rocket towards the machines! Ryan makes his Rabbit Troop Sucks debut, and he is representing Fiction Beer Company. He graciously brings us beer goodies and discusses the brew as we view. Make sure to try their Sweet Sedition of Magic (Pumpkin Amber with spices) and MAV – Oktoberfest all month long. We will be! Taste the fall! Hide from the diffuse tail of Rhea-M. 

Thousands and thousands of years after the world’s collapse and collapse again, twin wizards are born. One, Avatar (Bob Holt), focuses on peace and smoking cigars with scantily clad fairies. The other, Blackwolf (Steve Gravers) is obsessed with war, propaganda and destruction. RTS adores post-apocalyptic scenarios and assembling crews. After a failed assassination attempt from Necron 99, Avatar gets his fellowship in order. With a reprogrammed assassin (now known as Peace), a fiery elf, Weehawk (Richard Romanus), and half-fairy, Elinore (Jesse Welles), they set out to sing, to get intoxicated and bewitched with the fairy folk and most importantly, to take down evil to restore the land. Collin and La-Mar discuss our first animated film and secretly take a multitude of fae elixirs. By the end of this episode, we’ll all be rolling a D20 to see if we make it through unscathed.

Corporations are scrambling to find out what the ingredients of The Stuff are. It’s so good! Have some Stuff! You know you want to! Hell, people are eating it from the ground! To find the truth of it all, we have a real crack crew investigating it. David ‘Mo’ Rutherford (Michael Moriarty) is hired as a corporate spy. He somehow has unlimited funds and immediately hires and dates Nicole (Andrea Marcovicci). They pick up Jason (Scott Bloom) to make poor decisions. And, we have ‘Chocolate Chip’ Charlie (Garrett Morris) on a mission to get his money back. Get ready for a “goo” drinking game. The mention of “goo” is good for a sip – don’t be a heavy pour here. RTS goes “bonkers” in a grocery store to get away from Stuff consumption. La-Mar, Jeremy and Collin get goo-tastic with this goo-riffic film! The horror! The loss! The intrigue? Double your drinks/sips when someone randomly gets punched in the face! “Everyone has to eat some shaving cream once in a while.”

There is a familiar story here. Two affluent college students, Tim (Matthew Lillard) and Chris (Michael Vartan), kill their roommate, Rand (Randall Batinkoff), and make it look like a suicide. The plan is to then accept the school’s policy of giving students who have a deceased roommate all A’s for the semester. Things quickly start to unravel amongst the friends, Emma (Keri Russell) becomes more involved in this crime and things might not be exactly as they seem. RTS love Matthew Lillard – it’s his three-peat! We learn a lot while hanging out at that lighthouse with these students. Jeremy and Collin help to unravel this mystery and to smoke some random cigars everywhere that is inconvenient for everyone else. Join us for this second part of our back to school special. School or die! Don’t forget to pack a suitcase when you jump into the water. And, always carry some nunchucks!

When Josh (Tom Everett Scott) isn’t drumming for the Oneders, he’s trying to go to school for a medical degree in the 90s. His roommate, Cooper (Mark-Paul Gosselaar), is trying to go to school for parties and nonstop fun. The problem is that Cooper is likeable, and he sucks Josh into his never-ending merriment. Now, both face the realities of failing the semester. Josh will lose his scholarship. Cooper will lose his dad’s tuition payments. They learn that there is a school policy that states if anyone’s roommate dies, surviving students will receive all A’s. Now, this duo is in search of their future roommate, “Mr. Z.” They’re betting on the worst for them to score the best. RTS will meet an array of interesting characters. Collin, La-Mar and Jeremy discuss their amazing attendance records and these improbable situations. Join us for part one of two in this back to school special. School or die! Buckley (Randy Pearlstein) forever!

John Moss (James Woods) is the stereotypical cop you know from any drama series. He’s foul-mouthed. He is divorced and trying to make a new relationship work. His job consumes him. He’s hunting down a serial killer in New York. And, his life gets even more complicated when an eager but oblivious to the real world actor, Nick Lang (Michael J. Fox), shows up to shadow him for a possible upcoming role. Between these two polar opposites running around and Party Crasher (Stephen Lang) shooting everything up, New York might be in trouble! RTS have a lot of fun with this buddy action comedy, getting to see LL Cool J and enjoying some “frog dogs.” We even get to see Greendale Community College alum, Luis Guzmán. La-Mar, Jeremy and the Captain get new merch jackets and hats. Sarah makes her Rabbit Troop Sucks debut to make sure this all plays out by the books. And, in the end, you will only get one take at this. 

Recent 1962 Yale graduate Lawrence Bourne III (Tom Hanks) is an “Ivy League schlemiel.” After racking up an outrageous gambling debt and failing to get daddy’s help to pay it off, in an attempt to flee all his responsibilities, he quickly trades places with his buddy Kent who is working for the Peace Corps and heading to Thailand. Once there, and forced to stay, Lawrence might change his ways – or at least adapt them. It’s not all bad! There’s a budding romance with Beth (Rita Wilson). At Toon (Gedde Watanabe) is a true friend and fun to hang with. Tom Tuttle from Tacoma (John Candy) has specialized training and a mind like a steel trap. And, we get to meet John (Tim Thomerson) and “Mike.” A different kind of Mike. Play it cool with RTS when the red army and the local crime syndicate need access to a bridge. Collin examines this film like a real hot rod. And, if anyone is having romantic troubles, just remember, “she’s no good for you, big guy.” 

The loss of a close friend and the funeral that follows reunites Jerry (Matthew Lillard), Dan (Seth Green) and Tom (Dax Shepard). To honor their friend and fulfill their childhood dreams, they decide to track down D.B. Cooper’s hijacked cash. Secret money? Treasure? Goonies-esque adventures? Make sure to hit up RTS if you have any hot leads on where such loot is located. To grow and conquer what the world is dishing out, these friends will experience it all along the way. Losing all the food and supplies, running from crazed pot farmers, a mommy bear who just wants to love, Flower and Butterfly! Oh my! La-Mar, Collin and Jeremy are all in for this fortune-seeking adventure. Together, we learn that sometimes the real treasure has been inside all of us all along. But, you know that’s BS and you want that cold hard cash! 

Sex! Sex! Sex! It’s 1993 and Brandy Klark (Aubrey Plaza) just graduated high school as valedictorian. As you have guessed, the public education system has left some things out – and that includes anything about sex education. Now, determined to become sexually experienced before college starts, this academic go-getter gives herself some summer homework – with some guidance from her friends and her sister, Amber (Rachel Bilson). During the day she works at the local pool for Willy (Bill Hader), and during the night Brandy juggles dates with Cameron (Johnny Simmons) and others while checking off a list in an attempt to achieve the final goal with Rusty Waters (Scott Porter). RTS are hanging at the pool this summer, and so should you! La-Mar and Nemo discuss this sex positive summer romp over Otter Pops, a SNES and a fun 90s soundtrack. When are we all going to Water World?

Attending a friends night out for a boxing match? Fun! Taking a wrong turn to beat traffic? Questionable. Witnessing a murder and being chased by Denis Leary, House of Pain and others? Now, this night just got bizarre and exciting! This is exactly what happens to four friends (including Emilio Estevez, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Stephen Dorff). They will take you on a wild ride that includes destinations such as totally abandoned city blocks, train yards, sewer systems (sorry, no Ninja Turtles!), street after street and some kind of flea market/multilevel strip mall. Note: as we keep score of the team body count, RTS have a group bigger than any of these. And, we have our own Jeremy – a better Jeremy! We are also joined by La-Mar and Collin while we all try to flee the city in the strangest ways. The soundtrack is incredible! A special shoutout to Peter Greene who plays Sykes. You are amazing! 

When the world is threatened with KAOS, it’s good to have Control. Too bad the rest of the government believes otherwise. After the destruction of the head office, Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) gets promoted to his dream job of becoming a field agent. He’s no dummy, but he sure can use some help. Luckily, Max's partner, Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway), has a sleek, tough wardrobe to back her spy skills and face-kicks. Each with a special skill set, these two will have a lot to learn from one another. We also have Agent 23 (Dwayne Johnson) showing everyone up and getting the job done, but now he’s stuck at his desk. The Chief (Alan Arkin) doesn’t really know what to do with any of these misfits, and the world, yet again, is under threat. Collin and Nemo join us to go undercover, to use fun gadgets and to sexily dance through lasers. Nemo also gets to discuss her boo, Johnson. RTS encourages you to bring your shoe phones and your cone of silence. Thank you to the Westword for your recent write-up! We miss you, Alan Arkin! A swordfish almost went through your head!