- Masturbation, Emotional Health, and Abundant Living
Today’s podcast covers a LOT of territory, including the complexities of masturbation, its connection to our emotional health, and the differences between a scarcity mindset and an abundance mindset when it comes to living in victory over sexual sin.
Our guest today is Matt Cline, founder of Restored Ministries. In our conversation, we explore the significant role emotional well-being plays in navigating sexual brokenness. We emphasize the importance of understanding our emotions to discover genuine happiness and connection. We also explore the intriguing concept of scarcity versus abundance in the context of our sexuality. Matt's perspective on how a scarcity mindset can lead to feelings of isolation is eye-opening, and he highlights how adopting an attitude of gratitude can help us perceive our lives more abundantly.
To cap off the conversation, we point listeners to some valuable resources provided by Restored Ministries, including the Pure Freedom Community and the Pure Victory Podcast, which offer support to those on this path.
To learn more about Matt and his ministry, visit RestoredMinistries.ca.
Topics Covered in this Episode:
- Masturbation and its prevalence among men
- Emotional health and its impact on sexual brokenness
- Scarcity versus abundance mindset in the context of sexual brokenness
- The significance of identifying and acknowledging emotions
- Transformative experiences of individuals in recognizing and expressing emotions
- Detrimental effects of living in a scarcity mindset
- Encouragement to shift towards gratitude and thankfulness
- Resources available through Restored Ministries for support and guidance
- Importance of emotional health in the journey towards healing and wholeness
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- Overcoming Shame and Embracing Your True Identity
- When Shame Gets Real (with Carl Thomas)
- Are You Open or Closed to Emotional Growth?
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E960 - 33m - Apr 24, 2024 - Breaking Down Barriers: The Art of Active Listening
In this episode, we have Andrew Arthur back with us to dive deep into the art of active listening. We chat about the common obstacles we face, like distractions and assumptions, that can disrupt our ability to truly hear others, especially in long-term relationships.
Andrew shares a golden nugget for exceptional listening: asking "What do you need from me right now?" as a way to better support those in emotional need. We even touch on how this skill translates to our spiritual lives, suggesting we quiet our inner chatter to connect with God.
Wrapping up, we leave you with some practical tips to enhance your listening skills.
To learn more about Andrew and his mediation services, visit GenesisChristianMediation.com.
Topics Covered in this Episode:
- Importance of active listening
- Roadblocks to effective communication
- Removing oneself from the center stage
- Asking "What do you need from me right now?"
- Providing support and affirmation in times of crisis
- Assumptions in long-term relationships
- Barriers to good listening
- Listening to God and spiritual connection
- Practical advice for improving listening skills
More Resources:
- Untangling Emotions* by Groves and Smith
- Words Have Power
- 40 Days to Oneness by Stephen Cervantes
Related Podcasts:
- Conflict Management for Marriage Healing from Betrayal
- Do Your Emotional Beliefs Lead You to Connection or Disconnection?
- The Goal is Connecting
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E959 - 33m - Apr 17, 2024 - Hope and Healing: Brian Ellsworth's Testimony
On today’s episode, Brian Ellsworth shares his personal journey of trauma, addiction, and recovery. Brian is the new executive director of Living Without Lust, which is a fellowship of men desiring to live with sexual integrity.
Brian discusses his challenging past, sobriety-seeking turning points, and healing through an intensive program. He shares how he went from a crippling addiction to now helping other men break free from unwanted sexual behaviors. The conversation stresses the significance of addressing underlying pain, seeking help, and the continuous process of recovery.
To learn more about Brian and Living Without Lust, visit LivingWithoutLust.com.
More Resources:
- Contact Brian at 904-479-5629
- Boulder Recovery
- Gateway to Freedom
Related Podcasts:
- A 3-Year Roadmap of Recovery and Emotional Growth
- Keys to Long-Term Freedom from Unwanted Sexual Behaviors
- Helping Men Overcome Porn and Get Emotionally Fit
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E958 - 37m - Apr 12, 2024 - Understanding Female Sexuality and Struggles
In this episode, we welcome back Ashley Jameson from Pure Desire Ministries. She helps us understand trauma, addiction, and women's struggles with sex and relationships, shining a light on the importance of transforming our worldly views on sexuality.
Ashley candidly highlights the different ways women grapple with their sexuality. Ranging from matters of toxic relationships to fears of intimacy, her insights and personal journey resonate deeply.
Ashley also explores the negative impact of violent sexual acts in fantasies and media content. She emphasizes the urgent need to redefine our perspective of sexuality as a beautiful and valuable gift from God.
As a wrap-up, Ashley speaks on the far-reaching positive impacts of breaking free from sexual shame on all aspects of life, notably parenting and personal relationships. This powerful conversation will invite women dealing with love, sex, and relationship issues to boldly embark on their individual healing journeys.
To learn more about Ashley and the resources mentioned in this episode, visit PureDesire.org.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- God's Grace for Women Struggling with Sexual Shame
- Going Deeper for Women: How Your Inner Child Affects Your Love and Sex Addiction
- Freedom and Healing from Shame, Addiction, and Abuse
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E957 - 31m - Apr 10, 2024 - Identity and the Goodness of Sexuality
The world, especially in the West, is awash in all forms of sexual brokenness and confusion. And much of this brokenness and confusion is present in the Church. How can we help Christians understand God’s design for sex and live it out in our local churches and communities?
Today we have Daniel Weiss back on the program with us to discuss these issues. Daniel is the president of Sexual Integrity Leaders, a ministry dedicated to equipping, supporting, and collaborating with Christian leaders to promote Gospel-centered sexuality in the Church.
Much of our conversation revolves around the Identity Project, a platform containing many teaching videos from multiple leaders in various arenas of expertise regarding biblical sexuality. We talk about why these teachings are important for every Christian, especially topics like the “image of God,” singlehood and sexuality, and how our true identity is rooted in community.
To learn more about Daniel and Sexual Integrity Leaders, visit SexualIntegrityLeaders.com.
To learn more about the Identity Project, visit IdentityProject.tv. Use coupon code: IDPSEXUALINTEGRITY10
More Resources:
- Rethinking Sexuality* by Dr. Juli Slattery
- Our Bodies Tell God's Story* by Christopher West
- Pure Life Academy Courses for Leaders
Related Podcasts:
*These are affiliate links. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E956 - 35m - Apr 3, 2024 - 100 Recovery Rules (with Mark Denison)
Addiction recovery is hard work. It is the process of learning to live in a whole new way apart from old, harmful, compulsive patterns. Such transformation doesn’t happen quickly or without help.
Our guest today is Mark Denison. He has been on the program several times before and is the co-founder, with his wife Beth, of There’s Still Hope. He joins us to talk about his newest book, Recovery Rules: 100 Truisms that Will Change Everything. Men often need pithy, wise tips to help them on the long road of recovery.
In our conversation, we highlight several of the truisms, such as:
- If you are 90% in, you are 100% out.
- Addiction isn’t a bad problem, it is a bad solution.
- If you can stay sober for 20 minutes, you can stay sober.
- Relapse is not an event, but a process.
- Don’t commit to a lifetime; commit to a day.
- Direction trumps destination.
If you are looking for some super practical help for your recovery journey, this episode will be very impactful.
To learn more about Mark and his ministry’s resources, visit TheresStillHope.org.
More Resources:
- Recovery Rules: 100 Truisms that Will Change Everything*
- Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive
- Grace-Based Recovery Online Study Groups
Related Podcasts:
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E955 - 35m - Mar 27, 2024 - 8 Practical Steps of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a topic that gets brought up over and over again in the space of healing from betrayal. But before you tune out let me encourage you to stick around for my super practical conversation with Karla Downing on this topic.
Karla is the founder of Change My Relationship and has been on the podcast multiple times to help us think through important relational issues like boundaries and grief. Her many years of experience helping couples in very difficult situations comes out in this interview on forgiveness.
In the episode, Karla gives a robust definition of forgiveness and then walks us through eight practical steps that are essential to the process of forgiveness.
To learn more about Karla and her ministry, visit ChangeMyRelationship.com.
More Resources:
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E954 - 49m - Mar 20, 2024 - Why Building Confidence is Important to Recovery
Why is confidence important to recovery from addictive patterns? And how is confidence different from arrogance or pride?
To help us address this topic, we have Dr. Eddie Capparucci back on the program with us. Eddie is certified as a licensed professional counselor and certified in treating sexual and pornography addiction. He has been on the program multiple times to share his expertise and wisdom in the field of addiction recovery.
In our conversation, we discuss what confidence is, the causes and effects of a lack of confidence, what healthy confidence is rooted in, and how to grow in confidence. If you are a man who wants to grow and mature in your recovery, take notes and apply what Eddie shares in this episode.
To learn more about Eddie and his resources, visit InnerChild-SexAddiction.com.
More Resources:
- Gateway to Freedom 3-day intensive
- Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction*
- Grace-Based Recovery Groups
Related Podcasts:
- Helping Men Navigate Between Logic and Emotion
- What To Do in the Moment of Temptation
- Why Men Struggle to Love
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E953 - 33m - Mar 13, 2024 - "Am I Gay?" (with Garry Ingraham)
There are many men and women in the Church who struggle with all forms of sexual brokenness, including same-sex sexual desires. How can Christians love and care for those who want freedom from such besetting sins?
In today’s episode, our guest is Garry Ingraham. Garry is the co-founder of Love and Truth Network, a ministry that equips church leaders in restoring biblical sexuality, community, and identity through personalized leadership training, teaching resources, and experiential growth opportunities for personal transformation and supporting others.
Garry shares his own story of same-sex brokenness and how God drew him out of the dark and into the light. He also shares how God called him into ministry, especially to pastors and helping them with their personal sexual struggles and how to address sexual sin and hope in the local church.
Finally, Garry has a new book entitled Am I Gay which highlights his story and how to navigate sexual confusion with the truth of Christ and the community of fellow Christians.
To learn more about Garry, his ministry, and the book, visit LoveandTruthNetwork.com.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- Can the Church Be a Safe Place for Healing and Transformation?
- What To Do When Your Child "Comes Out"
- How Brokenness Fits with Wholeness in Christ
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E952 - 37m - Mar 6, 2024 - Living Undefiled (with Nick Stumbo)
Why is pornography such a big deal? This is a common question in the culture, but not necessarily one of alarm, but rather questioning why ministries like ours and many others even exist. Is there any real harm to pornography?
To help us answer these questions we have Nick Stumbo back on the program. Nick is the Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries and an author and speaker on sexual issues from a Christian worldview.
In our conversation, Nick shares many of the negative effects of porn: biological, mental, emotional, and relational. We look at the many unhealthy patterns porn promotes, the natural trajectory of tolerance (both individually and culturally), the linkage between human trafficking and porn, and then how to live free from the negative effects of porn.
Finally, Nick shares a new video series resource called Living Undefiled that takes an in-depth look at the topics surrounding pornography and human trafficking.
To learn more about Nick and Pure Desire, visit PureDesire.org.
To get access to the Living Undefiled course, visit LivingUndefiled.com.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- New Research on Why Women View Porn
- Exposing the True Impact of Porn
- Keeping Kids Safe in a Digital World
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E951 - 37m - Feb 28, 2024 - How Can I Lead Others When I Can't Lead Myself?
Register for Xposed Conference!
When: THIS Saturday, February 24th (join in person or online)
Xposed is an annual event to help pastors, ministry leaders, counselors, and individuals navigate sensitive sexual issues and equip them to care for their communities regarding God’s design for sex.
Register Online (use coupon code XP24-BBM for discount)
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Many men struggle deeply with their godly responsibilities of leadership, especially in the home, because they aren’t even managing themselves very well.
In this episode, Stephen brings a letter from a leader that is meant to be representative of most men who struggle with this internal conflict of leadership calling and poor self-management. This letter addresses issues like:
- Dividedness and hypocrisy
- Wearing masks to cover fear and shame
- Poor or non-existent emotional skills
- Weariness and hopelessness
For any man who can relate to what is shared in this letter, there is hope for transformation. You can become the man and leader God designed you to be.
For helpful resources to enhance your godly manhood and marriage skills, visit DoctorMarriage.org.
More Resources:
- Gateway to Freedom 3-day intensive
- 49 Days of Growth by Stephen Cervantes*
- Daily Thoughts from Doctor Marriage
Related Podcasts:
- Helping Men Navigate Between Logic and Emotion
- A 7 Day Challenge for Emotional Growth
- Are You Open or Closed to Emotional Growth
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS23E950 - 29m - Feb 21, 2024 - Wisdom from a Sage in Recovery Ministry
Sometimes we don’t have a “topic” for the podcast, but instead simply have a conversation with someone with loads of experience and wisdom in sexual struggles and recovery. This is what today’s episode is all about.
Our guest is author and speaker, Nate Larkin. He founded the Samson Society, a fellowship of Christian men who are serious about authenticity, community, humility, and recovery.
In our conversation, Nate shares his own story of addiction and recovery. Then we dive into lots of questions that draw on his decades of personal and ministerial wisdom that will prove helpful to any man listening who wants to break free from unwanted sexual behaviors.
To learn more about Nate and his ministry, visit SamsonSociety.com.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E949 - 35m - Feb 14, 2024 - Living More Than a Love Story
How important is trust to emotional health and building strong, mature relationships? It is vital! Yet, many men we have served in our ministry struggle terribly with trust.
In today’s episode, Stephen and I are going to dig into this important topic of trust through the lens of one man’s story that begins with him not being able to trust his parents with his thoughts and feelings and ends with him finally living a “love plus trust” story.
We will share the distinction between love and trust and how love plus trust takes us even deeper than love alone. We need to learn how to understand trust in its multilayered dimensions if we want to enjoy strong, healthy relationships.
For resources from Stephen to help you grow and mature emotionally, visit DoctorMarriage.org.
More Resources:
- 40 Days to Oneness
- Growth Map: The Pathway to Peace, Rest, and Joy*
- Untangling Emotions by Groves & Smith*
Related Podcasts:
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E948 - 31m - Feb 7, 2024 - Understanding Human Agency
Albert Bandura was a psychologist who is credited with developing the term “human agency,” which refers to how you act, think, and interact with life.
In this episode, Stephen and I will unpack the four functions of agency and how they might help us develop better self-awareness and deeper faith and relationships.
The 4 functions of agency are:
- Intentions (or intentionality)
- Outcomes (or expectations)
- Self-regulation
- Self-reflection
Agency asks, “Are you paying attention to your own intentions and are you getting better at self-regulating and self-reflecting?’ We hope this conversation will help you understand yourself and others better – and use your agency for good, godly purposes.
To learn more about Albert Bandura and his research, visit AlbertBandura.com.
More Resources:
- Untangling Emotions by Groves & Smith*
- Growth Map: The Pathway to Peace, Rest & Joy by Stephen Cervantes*
- APEST Spiritual Gifts Test
Related Podcasts:
*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E947 - 29m - Jan 31, 2024 - Forgiving Forward (with Bruce and Toni Hebel)
Every Christian knows that forgiveness is central to salvation and restoration to God. But what does forgiveness look like between us and those who have hurt us?
Our guests today are Bruce and Toni Hebel, founders of Forgiving Forward, a ministry that helps people experience the freedom of the gospel through the power of forgiveness. They share their own journey of learning the hard way how vital forgiveness is to personal character and health, as well as effective ministry to others.
In our conversation, Bruce and Toni define forgiveness, explain why Christ is the only one who can pay the full debt of sin and wounds, expose the roots of unforgiveness, the common obstacles to forgiveness, and ultimately how to forgive in real-life situations of betrayal and pain through 5 key protocols:
- GRATITUDE for God’s forgiveness of me.
- REPENT of my sin of unforgiveness.
- WHO do I forgive and for WHAT?
- FORGIVE each offense from my HEART.
- Ask God to BLESS them and look for ways to bless them when possible.
To learn more about Bruce and Toni’s ministry and to get their book, visit ForgivingForward.com.
More Resources:
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*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E946 - 43m - Jan 24, 2024 - New Research on Why Women View Porn
Did you know that 58% of women who struggle with porn were exposed to porn before age 12? Or that 93% of women who struggle with porn never attend a support group? And that 48% of women viewing porn were a victim of sexual abuse?
Our guest today is Crystal Renaud Day, a coach, author, and speaker – and the founder and executive director of SheRecovery.com. She has been a leading voice for women in this space of sexual integrity ministry since 2009.
Recently, Crystal and her ministry conducted research to answer the question “What Drives Women to Porn?” There were over 1300 anonymous female participants, ages 18 to 65+ from 58 countries, who had used or been addicted to pornography in the past or present.
This episode discusses the findings of this research and why this is important to women struggling and those who love them.
To see the research and results, visit SheRecovery.com.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- Total Freedom for Women Struggling with Porn
- God's Grace for Women Struggling with Porn and Sexual Shame
- Freedom and Healing from Shame, Addiction, and Abuse
*These are affiliate links. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E945 - 33m - Jan 17, 2024 - 4 Thoughts that Make Our Own Minds Feel Unsafe
Lots of men over the years have shared the sentiment of the following statement: “I’m good as long as I can stay out of my own head.” As we have unpacked this idea with the men who have shared this, there have been four key thoughts that typically keep guys from feeling safe within their own minds.
In today’s episode, Stephen and I are going to share these four thoughts. They are:
- Shame
- Old Stories
- Core Fear
- Unhealthy Fantasies
When you can understand how these thoughts operate and how to combat them, you can reclaim that territory in your mind for hope, peace, and joy.
For helpful "daily thoughts" on emotional health and growth, visit DoctorMarriage.org.
More Resources:
- Growth Map by Stephen Cervantes*
- Identity: What Foundation Are You Building On?*
- Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive for Men
Related Podcasts:
- How to Be at Peace in Aloneness
- Overcoming Shame and Embracing Your True Identity
- 50 Things To Do When Your Core Fear Gets Triggered
*These are affiliate links. Be Broken may earn a commission on qualifying purchases.
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS20E944 - 29m - Jan 10, 2024 - Best of 2023: Back to the Basics of Sexual Integrity
Originally Aired on March 7, 2023
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Today’s episode is getting back to the basics of living a life of sexual integrity. Stephen Cervantes and I have been working with men desiring greater integrity for over 20 years, and we know that a life of integrity is not static. You must be on a daily growth mission to mature.
In our conversation, we share some of our personal growth tips and many other insights we have seen that help men get on a growth mission and discover their God-sized purpose in life.
A great next step in your pursuit of greater integrity is our Gateway to Freedom 3-day intensive workshop. This Friday-Sunday event will help you get down to the roots of your unwanted sexual behaviors and provide practical, powerful direction for living each day with integrity and purpose.
Learn more about Gateway to Freedom and how to register at Bebroken.org/gtf.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- Keys to Long-Term Freedom from Unwanted Behaviors
- 3 Levels of Sobriety
- Insights and Action Steps for Men
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS19E900 - 31m - Jan 3, 2024 - Best of 2023: Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual Betrayal
Originally Aired on February 28, 2023
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HELP REACH THE YEAR-END GOAL TO IMPACT MORE LIVES!
We have a goal of $103,000 to reach even more individuals and families in 2024 through this podcast and all our other ministries.
To partner with us, give at Bebroken.org/donate or call 210-822-8201.
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Sexual betrayal in marriage is more common than most of us would like to admit. But this terrible fracture is not incurable for couples who choose to go on a journey of healing and restoration.
Our guest today is Dr. Michael Sytsma, a licensed professional counselor, ordained minister, professor, and founder of Building Intimate Marriages.
In our conversation, Michael answers questions about the “why” of affairs, the impact of past trauma, the myth of affairs only occurring in “bad” marriages, how to know if restoration is possible, what is required for restoration, and more.
To learn more about Michael and Building Intimate Marriages, visit IntimateMarriage.org.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After Betrayal
- Affair Recovery Through a Trauma Lens
- Helping Husbands and Wives Go All In
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS19E899 - 37m - Dec 27, 2023 - A 3-Year Roadmap of Recovery and Emotional Growth
HELP REACH THE YEAR-END GOAL TO IMPACT MORE LIVES!
We have a goal of $103,000 to reach even more individuals and families in 2024 through this podcast and all our other ministries.
To partner with us, give at Bebroken.org/donate or call 210-822-8201.
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Just about every man who has ever entered recovery from unwanted sexual behaviors has wanted a “quick fix” to his addiction. But there are no quick fixes. In fact, true recovery is a years-long process that ultimately leads to deeper emotional growth over a lifetime.
In today’s episode, Stephen and I share a 3-year roadmap of recovery and emotional growth that every man who enters recovery needs to understand and embrace if he wants lasting freedom and lifelong joy. The road of recovery may be long, but it is worth walking it.
To get Stephen’s emotional growth resources for men, visit DoctorMarriage.org.
More Resources:
- Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive
- Grace-Based Recovery Online Study Groups
- 40 Days of Purity Online Course
Related Podcasts:
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donationsS19E943 - 32m - Dec 20, 2023