- The Recovery Process for Couples
For couples who want to pursue reconciliation and restoration after sexual betrayal, what does the process of recovery look like?
Today’s guest is Cat Etherington, Director of Recovery at Naked Truth Project. She helps us understand the key principles and practices that allow for the best possible results for couples wanting to heal and grow after betrayal.
There is hope for recovery in your marriage.
To learn more about Cat and her work and resources, visit http://NakedTruthProject.com.
Retreats by Naked Truth Project:
- US Grief retreat - https://www.nakedtruth.training/wholehearted-retreat-Texas
- US Couples retreat - https://www.nakedtruth.training/couples-retreat-texas
- Australia Grief Retreat - https://www.nakedtruth.training/wholehearted-grief-retreat-Australia
Previous episode (#872) with Cat: The Journey of Healing from Betrayal Trauma - https://youtu.be/WuUexC7Ucc8
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual Betrayal
- Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After Betrayal
- The Goal is Connecting
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations35m | Mar 21, 2023 - For Men Who Want to Finish Strong!
A man recently shared, “I don’t want to live the next 20 years of my life the way I have lived the past 20 years.” This is a man who wants to get on a mission of growth and change.
In today’s episode, Stephen shares the journey of this man who wants to finish better than he started. We unpack many of the fundamental issues and principles that must be examined and worked on if long-term transformation is going to happen.
If you are a man who wants to finish life better than you started it, this episode will give you encouragement and insights to help you experience deep contentment and freedom.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- 8 Comments from Men Struggling to Pursue Integrity
- How Long Does Change Take?
- Struggling to Come Clean and Find Rest
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations29m | Mar 14, 2023 - Back to the Basics of Sexual Integrity
This is our 900th episode! And it’s such a delight to release this milestone episode on my birthday. I hope it blesses you as much to listen as it did for me to record it.
Today’s episode is getting back to the basics of living a life of sexual integrity. Stephen Cervantes and I have been working with men desiring greater integrity for over 20 years, and we know that a life of integrity is not static. You must be on a daily growth mission to mature.
In our conversation, we share some of our personal growth tips and many other insights we have seen that help men get on a growth mission and discover their God-sized purpose in life.
A great next step in your pursuit of greater integrity is our Gateway to Freedom 3-day intensive workshop. This Friday-Sunday event will help you get down to the roots of your unwanted sexual behaviors and provide practical, powerful direction for living each day with integrity and purpose.
Learn more about Gateway to Freedom and how to register at Bebroken.org/gtf.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- Keys to Long-Term Freedom from Unwanted Behaviors
- 3 Levels of Sobriety
- Insights and Action Steps for Men
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations31m | Mar 7, 2023 - Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual Betrayal
Sexual betrayal in marriage is more common than most of us would like to admit. But this terrible fracture is not incurable for couples who choose to go on a journey of healing and restoration.
Our guest today is Dr. Michael Sytsma, a licensed professional counselor, ordained minister, professor, and founder of Building Intimate Marriages.
In our conversation, Michael answers questions about the “why” of affairs, the impact of past trauma, the myth of affairs only occurring in “bad” marriages, how to know if restoration is possible, what is required for restoration, and more.
To learn more about Michael and Building Intimate Marriages, visit IntimateMarriage.org.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After Betrayal
- Affair Recovery Through a Trauma Lens
- Helping Husbands and Wives Go All In
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations37m | Feb 28, 2023 - Sex Ed Reclaimed with Kristen Miele
Sex education isn’t what it used to be. But the need for good, godly sex education is at an all-time high.
Our guest on today’s program is Kristen Miele. Kristen has been educating youth on the topic of sex for 12 years and is the founder of Sex Ed Reclaimed, a training organization that specializes in God-honoring accessible sex ed for children 3 to 18 years old.
In our conversation, Kristen answers questions around the importance of sex education, what needs to be taught in sex ed, how to teach it, and various obstacles that confront parents and kids alike when learning God’s good design for sex.
To learn more about Kristen and their curriculum, visit SexEdReclaimed.com.
More Resources:
- Critical Conversations Webinar for Parents
- 7 Tips for Parents (free download)
- Honest Talk by John Fort
Related Podcasts:
- Helping Your Kids Apply the Gospel to Sex and Sexuality
- Explaining God's Design for Sex to Your Kids
- Holy Sexuality with Dr. Juli Slattery
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations32m | Feb 21, 2023 - Men and Mental Health (since Covid)
Everyone has experienced various emotional and mental challenges over the last three years since the Covid-19 pandemic swept the globe. Many men have faced significant mental health struggles as a result.
In today’s bonus episode, our guest is Steve Dulaney. He is a counselor in the Pacific Northwest and the director of Prodigals International, a non-profit Christian ministry focused on helping men, women and families find healing, hope, and redemption from the impact of sexual brokenness.
Our conversation is focusing on all the effects of these mental health challenges men are facing today and what hope there is for better health and relationships.
To learn more about Prodigals and their resources, visit ProdigalsInternational.org.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- Understanding Your "Flipped-Out" Brain
- Do Your Emotional Beliefs Lead You to Connection or Disconnection?
- Healing Your Brain
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations35m | Feb 17, 2023 - Moving from Being Fear-Driven to Love-Driven
Everyone has a core fear that gets woven into their soul from childhood. It tends to drive everything, from thoughts to behaviors.
But God created us in His image, and He is love. His Word tells us that “perfect (mature) love drives out fear.” (1 John 4:18) So, how can we move from being fear-driven to being love-driven?
In this episode, we unpack this question and provide insights and tips to understand your fears and respond to them in healthy, redemptive ways that benefit you and your relationships.
More Resources:
- Untangling Emotions by Groves and Smith
- Grace-Based Recovery
- Find a Counselor
Related Podcasts:
- Overcoming the Fear that Lives in My Head
- 50 Things to Do When Your Core Fear Gets Triggered
- Finding Rest by Speaking Out Your Deepest Fear
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations31m | Feb 14, 2023 - Getting Back to Childhood Innocence
What does our sexual sin cost us? Do we take time to evaluate the losses and how they are affecting our lives today?
In this episode, we share a story of a man who had a terrifying nightmare that vividly illustrates what it’s like to be confronted with how evil steals innocence and peace from our inner child. We then explore what this man discovered from this dream and how to respond to your own losses of innocence and peace, and what the journey back to protecting your innocence can look like.
For help with understanding how the inner child impacts sexual acting out, visit InnerChild-SexAddiction.com.
More Resources:
- Going Deeper by Dr. Eddie Capparucci
- 40 Days of Purity Online Course
- Find a Counselor
Related Podcasts:
- Going Deeper: How Your Inner Child Impacts Your Sex Addiction
- Understanding Fear and Sadness
- Why Your Family of Origin Matters
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations25m | Feb 7, 2023 - The Why & How of Boundaries in a Recovering Marriage
Why are boundaries necessary for marriage restoration after sexual betrayal? And how does a couple navigate establishing and enforcing such boundaries in a redemptive way?
Today we have back with us Karla Downing to help us answer these important questions. Karla is the founder of ChangeMyRelationship.com. She offers Christian marriage help and Christian relationship help as a speaker, author, counselor, and Bible study teacher. As one who has walked her own path of relationship struggles, she can speak to these matters with both experience and empathy.
In this conversation, Karla defines what boundaries are, why they are necessary to rebuild a broken marriage, how they are enforced, various pitfalls to boundary-setting and boundary-keeping, and what the real “goal” is of restoration.
To learn more about Karla and her relationship resources, visit ChangeMyRelationship.com.
More Resources:
- Help for Husbands
- Help for Wives
- God, Sex, and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery
Related Podcasts:
- Helping Wives "Detach with Love" in a Difficult Marriage
- Recovery Discovery 026: Boundaries
- Gaslighting and Deception
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations38m | Jan 31, 2023 - The Powerful Effects of Shame-Free Accountability
Why does most “accountability” not work in recovery from unwanted behaviors? Is there a better way to engage others in recovery that does work?
My guest today is Chandler Rogers. He is the creator of Relay, an online platform that helps you discover a team of support. It is built on two key principles that are foundational to recovery:
- Connection
- Teamwork
In our conversation, Chandler shares his own story and struggle with porn and the keys to his healing journey. We also talk about the importance of authentic community in recovery and how the Relay app can help in that quest.
To learn more about Relay, visit JoinRelay.app.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- Recovery Discovery 024: Community & Accountability (Part 1: Defining It)
- Recovery Discovery 025: Community & Accountability (Part 2: Living It)
- Porn, Technology, and Self-Control
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations33m | Jan 25, 2023 - God, Sex, and Your Marriage
“Most married Christians cannot answer the question, ‘What does God say a good sex life is supposed to look like?’”
This statement is made by our special guest, Dr. Juli Slattery. Juli is an author, speaker, and co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, a ministry dedicated to reclaiming God’s design for sexuality.
In our conversation we discuss how Juli answers this question about a good sex life from her latest book: God, Sex, and Your Marriage.
We first cover why there is a disconnect between God and sex, even in the church. Then we unpack the four pillars of a great sex life:
- Faithfulness
- Intimate Knowing
- Sacrificial Love
- Passionate Celebration
To learn more about Juli and her ministry and resources, visit AuthenticIntimacy.com.
More Resources:
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations35m | Jan 17, 2023 - "I'd Rather We Fight than Not"
Is all fighting in marriage bad? Don’t most of us hate conflict and try to avoid it at all costs? What if, however, there is good to be found in conflict and disagreement?
In today’s episode, Stephen and I are going to unpack the positive dynamics of fighting in marriage. Discover what anger often means, how conflict is revealing what your spouse truly wants, and how to develop gratitude for the passion of differences.
For helpful resources, visit Bebroken.org.
More Resources:
- 40 Days to Oneness by Stephen Cervantes
- Not All Stress is Bad
- Marriage Restored
Related Podcasts:
- Finding Rest for Your Marriage
- 4 Skills to Transform Your Marriage
- Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After Betrayal
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations30m | Jan 10, 2023 - Best of 2022: 3 Levels of Sobriety
Originally Aired on February 22, 2022
In this episode, Stephen and I unpack what we are calling the 3 Levels of Sobriety, especially focusing on the third level. These categories are broken down into 1) real people, 2) media, and 3) thoughts. If that doesn’t quite make sense to you, that’s exactly why you need to listen to this episode.
If you are a man who wants to grow in integrity by digging deep into what goes on between your ears, listen closely because true sobriety goes beyond just eliminating unhealthy behaviors. You must work on your thoughts and this episode will help you with practical ideas for thought sobriety.
A resource that will help you retrain your mind toward a life of sexual integrity is our 40 Days of Purity online course. Learn more and enroll at 40days.PureLifeAcademy.org.
More Resources:
- Grace-Based Recovery by Jonathan Daugherty
- Unwanted by Jay Stringer
- Gateway to Freedom 3-day workshop for men
Related Podcasts:
- Addicted Thinking vs. Healthy Thinking
- Replacing Escaping and Hiding with Healthy Thoughts & Behaviors
- Guy Thoughts on Emotional Awareness and Maturity
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations32m | Jan 3, 2023 - Best of 2022: Overcoming Shame and Embracing Your True Identity
Originally Aired on March 8, 2022
LAST WEEK to make your generous year-end donation at Bebroken.org/give. Thank you for your partnership!
Today’s guest is Matt Cline, the Director of Restored Ministries in Edmonton, Alberta. He is a speaker and coach who considers it an honor to tackle the epidemic of pornography and help individuals and marriages be restored from the destruction caused by sexual sin and shame.
In this episode, Matt shares some of his story and key principles and insights that are proven to lead people from brokenness to wholeness. Our conversation addresses taking a serious view of sin, combating shame, understanding your true identity, and reclaiming a godly perspective on the body.
Learn more about Matt and his ministry’s resources at RestoredMinistries.ca.
More Resources:
- Help for Men: Men.Bebroken.com
- Help for Women: Women.Bebroken.com
- Help for Families: Family.Bebroken.com
Related Podcasts & Media:
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations32m | Dec 27, 2022 - How Brokenness Fits with Wholeness in Christ
Make your generous year-end donation today at Bebroken.org/give!
How does brokenness fit with wholeness in Christ? Are these contradictory or might they be explained as a paradox that actually unlocks the door to experiencing God’s grace and transformative work in our lives?
On today’s episode, I’m flying solo to help unpack this amazing paradox between brokenness and wholeness. I will share three “types” of brokenness and three contexts for wholeness and how this all fits together on our journey of transformation in Christ.
You may download my outline for today’s episode at Bebroken.org/paradox.
More Resources:
- Our Bodies Tell God's Story by Christopher West
- Humility by Andrew Murray
- Grace-Based Recovery Online Study Groups
Related Podcasts:
- The Immanuel Approach in Recovery
- The 7 (or More) Pillars of Emotional Growth
- What Can We Learn from Lust?
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations33m | Dec 20, 2022 - Restoring Broken Pastors for Kingdom Use
Pastors are not immune to sexual temptations and sexual strongholds. But many pastors feel isolated and “trapped” from reaching out for help with their private sexual struggles.
On today’s episode, we have Mark Denison join us to share with us some key principles from his new book, Broken Vessels, on how pastors can get help to break free from sexual strongholds and even still be used by God for kingdom work.
To learn more about Mark and his ministry, visit TheresStillHope.org.
More Resources:
- Broken Vessels: Restoring Broken Pastors for Kingdom Use
- Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive
- Recovery Minute
Related Podcasts:
- A Hopeful Response to Church Leaders Struggling with Sexual Sin
- Pastors on Porn
- Reframing How the Church Views Sexual Purity
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations32m | Dec 13, 2022 - Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After Betrayal
Today’s guests are Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith. They are the directors of The Raabsmith Team, coaches and therapists that love to help individuals, couples, and families create life-giving change in themselves and in their relationships.
In today’s episode, Matthew and Joanna will help couples understand the ins and outs of rebuilding a healthy marriage after betrayal. There is hope and thriving intimacy is possible even after betrayal. This conversation will be especially beneficial for couples who are wanting restoration.
For more information about Matthew and Joanna and their resources, visit RaabsmithTeam.com.
More Resources:
- Intimacy Pyramid Training (virtual workshop)
- Online Care Groups for Wives
- First 7 Days programs (for men and wives)
Related Podcasts:
- Affair Recovery Through a Trauma Lens
- Rebuilding Your Marriage After Sexual Betrayal
- Hope After Betrayal
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations32m | Dec 6, 2022 - What Can Stunt Your Emotional Growth Mission?
For nearly two decades we have been inviting men to embark on an emotional growth mission, not merely a sexual purity mission (as good as that is). But what is an emotional growth mission and what are the challenges and possible stumbling blocks to emotional growth?
In this episode, Stephen and I define the emotional growth mission and share over 10 thoughts and ideas that could stunt this mission.
To get started, or keep going, on your emotional growth mission, watch the 7-part Emotional Training for Men webinar series at Bebroken.org/etm-webinar.
More Resources:
- 40 Days of Training for Your Soul
- Untangling Emotions by Groves and Smith
- Free Integrity Webinar for Men
Related Podcasts:
- How to Experience Excellent Emotional Connections
- Essential Truths to Heal and Mature Your Broken Emotional System
- Do Your Emotional Beliefs Lead You to Connection or Disconnection?
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations32m | Nov 29, 2022 - Exposing the True Impact of Porn
Porn is not victimless. In other words, porn use has consequences that negatively impact the viewer.
This may seem obvious, especially to those who have developed an addiction to porn. But it’s important to state the impact of porn bluntly and clearly in order to help you see it for what it really is: dangerous and harmful.
In today’s episode, Stephen and I will help you see multiple ways in which pornography impacts your life – things like escaping, avoiding relationships, unhealthy fantasy, the pain and difficulty of repairing what you have broken, and more.
For help in overcoming unwanted porn use, visit Bebroken.org.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- Breaking Free with Russell Willingham
- Outgrowing the Porn Pacifier
- Helping Men Overcome Porn and Get Emotionally Fit
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations32m | Nov 22, 2022 - Keys to Long-Term Freedom from Unwanted Behaviors
Thousands of men over the past 20 years have reached out to our ministry to get help in overcoming unwanted sexual behaviors. Our desire is to help them experience long-term freedom, not merely short-term abstinence. So, what are the keys to long-term freedom from unwanted behaviors?
Our guest is Jason Martinkus. He is the founder and president of Redemptive Living, a coaching and speaking ministry helping men find freedom from sexual integrity issues and marriages find redemption beyond betrayal. Jason has 19 years of personal sexual sobriety; he has walked the walk.
In this episode we talk about key principles of freedom from unwanted sexual behaviors, such as humility, confession, authentic community, and more – principles that are vital for both short-term and long-term freedom.
To learn more about Jason and his ministry, visit RedemptiveLiving.com.
More Resources:
Related Podcasts:
- The Freedom Fight with Ted Shimer
- Recovery Discovery 030: Lifelong Learning
- The Last Relapse with Sathiya Sam
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Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/pure-sex-radio/donations40m | Nov 15, 2022
