S1E5 - asian parents and stigmas in medicine

this was an episode that i have wanted to record ever since i started this podcast. absolutely loved sharing my thoughts and opinions with yall. as per usual, make sure you give it a rating if you enjoyed!

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transcript (auto generated so WILL have errors)

Good morning and welcome to another episode of Medic Mornings. This is episode 5 and today we're going to be talking about Asian parents, and stigma and medicine. I'm so excited for this episode, honestly, like ever since I started the podcast, this was an episode that I knew I definitely want to do and because I know the experience is so Universal in Asian kids in general. I think that it's so important. We talk about this and these stigmatize, these misinformation that Asian parents usually have. So yeah, let's jump right into it. First thing is, why Asian parents actually want children to be doctors and for me, personally, I think my mom and my dad didn't really fall into that category. My mom definitely wanted me to be a vet, so she was like, why do you want to be a doctor? Why do you not want to be a vet, like your ex and ex friends? So that was just my experience, but she was fine with me, doing medicine. It was either medicine Dentistry, law, Veterinary, and anything out of that. She was kind of picky and iffy to begin with, but didn't really mind. I think for most Asian kids is because our parents are immigrants in. Our parents know what is like to struggle to be unemployed to have low income, to not know where your next bill your next rent. The next meal will be from and I can kind of see how Asian parents want the best for their kids, you know, in their own way. They medicine is a very stable career, traditionally was a very stable career, there was a 100% employment rate. After graduating, everyone who graduated with an MBBS, with a medicine degree was going to become a doctor, and it's only until very recently that this was changed. I think, last year there was incidents of having, like 200. 300 doctor is not being able to get Foundation your post, but usually it's a very stable career and that also adds into what's a lucrative because In other countries, like in Hong Kong. And in the US, it's a very high-paying job and there is no denying that doctors usually start off with in that you're going to start off with in a 50,000 pounds, down the drain but then you start making money and then eventually starting your own practice and going into private practice can get you an upper class salary but for the reality it's a lot of work and a lot of parents think that it's a get-rich-quick scheme. But in reality the UK just doesn't pay that much Also regarding the pay. In Asian countries, like Hong Kong and China. And those are the only two I know about. But I'm sure and Dubai and other Asian countries is also very respected. Pay is excellent in their countries and It's just a matter of which country pays well. I know lots of Eastern European countries. Don't have that great of pay, but in Asian countries is definitely paid. Very well paid very lucrative Lee and that adds on to the reputation. Another thing that I find kind of crazy and ludicrous is that parents think that it's a very prestigious career and that's just simply not the case, especially with the nature of the job. So doctors are quite literally saving lives and that scene as you know very Godlike, lots of people make references to the doctors and particularly neurosurgeons, having God complexes and like literally being the hands of God. They're saving lives there at the Forefront of human life and they witness death and new life every single day. And I think that's why doctors are also, so praise and Asian communities, because they value. So much as well as valuing, family and Community. It's just praise and worthy. You're wearing scrubs 24/7. You never get to have a break. You're constantly working at the hospital, doing Scott work as a Jew, You're always having to get sleepless night and worrying and stressing so much about your patient. There's nothing about it that screams prestigious to me, other than the perceived salary. But I think historically doctors were at the bottom of the hierarchy. I remember studying about this in year, 9 science. GCSE, I think when we talked about the black death and we also talked about MacBeth where the doctors were actually, they weren't addressed by their name, they were just called the doctor and that was how Macbeth and Lady Macbeth like called their doctor because they were in such a low place in society. And also in the Black Death they wore like these big beaks and these huge. Like we call them pit PE right now but they kind of look like fully dressed up in a gown and you just never saw their face. And that's because they were like not deemed to be useful enough. I think this is a very controversial opinion, but the third reason why Asian parents want their children to be doctors is because they are excelling academically, and doctors are literally, like the hyperbole of academics. They are at the top of the academic chain, they are seen as studious and Incredibly hard-working. And I think that their Asian parents define success in an academic view. That's because they don't know anything more. I think in the 21st century where social media is rapidly accelerating, even if I was a social media influencer with millions and millions of pounds, my mom would stay. Put doctor higher than social media influencer, and that's because of this academic role in it. Asian parents and Asian communities don't know. Anyting other than success in Academia, like Success is defined by how academic a person is. You know, what their grades are higher. Grades is equivalent to higher success and this is just something that's been traditionally and historically very prevalent and Asian communities and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I don't know why parents want their children to be super-smart if it doesn't bring them anything in life other than a career, I think it's also about Asian parents living vicariously through you. They raised you to be something that they've always dreamed of and that's why they put so much pressure on children to do their best in school because they had opportunities that they didn't have previously. And I completely get that. Honestly, I can see, my mom is point of view but I still don't think that it's appropriate because even though they want the best for you and they're weird way, they also have to respect that, their children could have different Hobbies different interest, different career goals, different aspirations, and that's just something that they should accept. But I feel like a lot of Asian kids like myself didn't have the card or didn't have, the means to stand up to our parents to argue about to talk back, and that's something that needs to change. I personally was not pressured in any way by my parents to do medicine. I think that it was a result of my brain tumor and a result of my hospitalization that I realized I want to become a doctor now. You know, I think that medicine really is a great career for me, but I understand that there's going to be a lot of Asian kids who struggle with that identity and really knowing who they are within medicine, within a field that they don't want to pursue in the first place. This isn't really a reason, but I think that a lot of the reason why there's so many Asian kids wanting to go into medicine is because they don't know anything else. They don't know anything different because this pressure was put at a very young age. We are shaped into this mold into this biology chemistry math. Mold, that doesn't allow us to explore anything else. Anything else outside the stem community, so kids aren't allowed to explore their Arts. Their English talents. Also side note, I'm literally sitting next to the radiator. Like, can we just talk about how fucking cold it is right now? Like I remember and summer, I thought it was the troll global warming. The UK was hitting 40 degrees Celsius. For a whole week. And now it's like negative degrees and my feet are so cold. Okay. Moving on, I'm going to be talking about what has happened. As a result of these occasions? They come has four kids and I'm going to be talking from my perspective and I'm going to be talking about what could potentially happened. So I think what a lot of people do generally is that children love to do everything opposite of what their parents told them to do. So my mom probably told me to I clean my room and I would do anything but that. So I thought that my mom wanted me to do medicine and she, I thought that she would like, pressure me even though she didn't. I felt the indirect pressure of becoming a doctor do to Asian and society's standards. So I will just reject that notion and do anything in my power. Not to do medicine from your 72-year 10. I consider doing psychology law, business management, considered during economics. I want to take English literature as an a-level, I wanted to do, physiotherapy I wanted to do Dentistry. I wanted to be a vet at one point. So I've considered all these professions and I probably know a lot about them by. Now, I know all the entry requirements for dentistry and law. For example, how to know all the entry requirements for a business management, but that's not the point. So I would just do everything in my power to not do medicine. I think I even said I will never do medicine because it takes too long to become an actual doctor. At one point look where I am now. Insane to see how I've grown and developed over the past few years. So what can we actually do to come back? This Asian stigma surrounding medicine, personally, on the micro-scale just having conversations with your parents and showing them statistics showing them, everything about the NHS, and how detrimental it is for doctors and Healthcare professionals, is a great way to start. I showed my mom and my dad, all the things are happening with, the junior doctor contract, the strikes, they already know about the strikes. They were BBC, but I talked to them about how should the salary is? How those things about Prestige, do not apply to the UK, they are treated like shit by the end. Chess By the NHS managers, and it's really difficult to buy a house because doctors have to move around the country for training every six months, every 3 weeks, every 6 weeks. And it's really hard to settle down until you've gained a consultant role. Because even in training, you're going to be moving around and not something that I'm just going to have to sense as doing medicine. But also I love that were able to have these conversations with the older generation because what they might have thought about medicine is not necessarily true now and that just helps stop the spread of misinformation and then discussing it as something that is lucrative. And so prestigious, I visited my grandma the other week and she knows I'm doing medicine and she just said, in Chinese, you must be earning a lot of money in the future. And even my mom stepped in to say no in the UK, they don't learn that much. I was actually pleasantly surprised when she said that because in the past I was really struggling with opening up to my parents but now I'm glad that they know the realities of working as a doctor and how they can further support me in that regard. I think for a lot of Asian kids. I didn't have it as bad but if some Asian parents just really don't understand how different it is in these times. And I know that a lot of people are struggling with harsh and strict parents that are an open to have these discussions. And yeah, I wouldn't recommend doing medicine, just because your parents forced you, you know, in the end it's going to be you that's doing that degree. That's going to be working on God. The hours in the hospital it's going to be you that stuck with the consequences and doing a job that you hate sucks. And if you like your job, you'll never have to work a day in your life. So I don't know if that sings true. I'm going to have to get a rain, check on that, but When an Asian kid gets into medicine it like the highest form of praise and I'm not going to lie. I feel like I've use this to my advantage a few times, like knowing the weight of what a medical student means to my Asian mom. I use it so much. I dyed my hair pay. And, you know, I just said, well, I going to medical school, so I can do whatever I want now. And yeah, that's literally everything I say I can stay up late. Now, I can go out whenever I want and it's just because I've achieved. One goal that I feel she has for me as far as my career goes. Another thing that I found kind of frustrating was as an Asian person going into medicine, you're going to have these questions about Did you go into medicine because your parents forced you to and it just inevitable that people are going to ask that because there's that there's an understanding that Asian parents are harsher on their kids and no one's going to believe that you did it because you wanted to not because of that external coercion and pressure from your parents. You know, there's you're always going to look like a pushover and even though I feel that's in my head sometimes I understand that these longstanding perceived Notions are not going anywhere. As long as you're an Asian person working in medicine, there's always going to be that little voice in your head. That's like, you did this because your parents wanted you to and I feel like that's just something that you have to get over and as long as you know, that you're doing it for yourself and you're doing it for your own self-satisfaction and for your own inner goals and that's all that matters. At the end of the day, fuck whoever says that you're doing it for someone else to satisfy your parents, that you're always going to be, you know, dependent on them because that's just not true. As long as you find it within yourself and you truly love medicine. Then that's really all that matters. That's all for today. Thank you. So, so, so much for joining me on this episode. I absolutely loved it and I just love talking to you guys just being involved in. Asian representation in medicine and fighting those stigmas and preconceived notions is genuinely something that I really love doing. If you enjoyed this podcast episode, please give it a rating on Spotify. Apple podcast wherever you're listening it on. It would really help me. And follow me on Instagram @medicmornings for more q and A's. I do lots of updates on my reels and my page. So make sure you check that out, and thank you, so so much again. Goodbye. See you next time.