Aja Vines... intuitive guide, oracle reader, and self-appointed "rebirth doula" who has personally survived approximately 100 identity pivots and expects to survive 100 more before she leaves this earth. She joins Em and Cass for a shamelessly real conversation about big pivots. Together they unpack why leaving something without a backup plan is sometimes the most sane thing you can do, why publicly changing your mind feels humiliating (and you should absolutely do it anyway), and how to tell the difference between burnout that needs rest and a real 'this chapter is over' kind of moment.

Emma unpacks her year of unemployment, Cass gets called out on tearing herself down mid-pivot, and Aja closes with a live oracle reading for anyone on a journey right now (or about to start one).

Find Aja on TikTok @ajavines and book a reading with her here!

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Serena F*cking Kerrigan... your favorite creator and soon to be new favorite author of the upcoming book Let's F*cking Date. A dating bible for all our girlies who are currently in the "trenches" of the dating world and looking for a way to "become the prize, enjoy the ride, and never settle again." She joins Em and Cass for a ZERO BS breakdown of everything we're getting wrong about dating, from why "waiting for your person" is a trap that will basically ruin your life, to how having a roster will kill off any remnants of your scarcity mentality. Plus, Emma reports back on the date she went on SPECIFICALLY to try out Serena's rules, and they rapid-fire the red flags every 30-something should probably already know. Find Serena on Instagram at @serenakerrigan and pre-order Let's F*cking Date wherever you get your books.

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A listener wrote in mortified: "I do stuff in fights with my boyfriend that I would be so embarrassed for my friends to find out about. Very petty shit. Bringing up things from years ago, silent treatment, crying to get my way. Am I just an immature bitch?" We dive in head first with our own worst fighting confessions, from slamming doors to walking away for attention. Spoiler: we've done all of it. Then we get into why we do this shit in the first place and what actually helped us move from "immature bitches" to "slightly more mature bitches."

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A listener wrote in, and she's pissed. She's been dropping spicy hints like nobody's business (wearing what he likes, flirty comments, changing with the door open), and her partner isn't picking up on any of them. She wants him to initiate. She wants to feel pursued. And yes, she knows she could just ask. Em and Cass get into how we all still want a mind-reader, the community polls (62% of you drop hints instead of asking for sex, 85% want your partner to initiate more), and how to actually build a communication style that doesn't require your partner to be Edward fucking Cullen.

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Alyssa Ljub is an intimacy and relationship expert who coaches dozens of couples a day in her role as a concierge at Arya. She joins Em and Cass to unpack the biggest hurdles couples hit when it comes to sex, why scheduling sex is FAR from unsexy, the difference between responsive and spontaneous desire, and the most common ways rejection shows up in long-term relationships. Find Alyssa at @alyssaljub on Instagram and TikTok and Arya at arya.fyi.

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Dr. Justin Garcia is the Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, chief scientific advisor to Match, and the author of the new book The Intimate Animal. He joins Em and Cass for a wide-ranging conversation on why modern intimacy feels so hard, and why he's optimistic about it anyway.

They get into the intimacy crisis (why we can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely), the "all-or-nothing" marriage model that's crushing modern relationships, the real story behind the sex recession and why declining frequency might not be a bad thing, the biology of monogamy versus sexual novelty (and the three ways couples navigate that tension), why 80% of marriages actually got stronger during the pandemic, and how dating apps are breaking our brains by tricking us into thinking every person is disposable. Plus the stat that 70% of people become deeply attracted to someone they didn't initially think they would, why the "work on yourself first" culture might be keeping you single, and the line Justin's built his relationship advice around: the grass is greener where you water it.

Find The Intimate Animal wherever you get your books, and Dr. Justin Garcia on Instagram at @drjustingarcia.

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A listener wrote in asking about a version of jealousy a lot of us are ashamed to admit: "I don't feel excited when good things happen to my friends anymore. Engagements, promotions, pregnancies, whatever. I fake it every time and feel like a monster." Em and Cass dive in head first with their own confessions, including the jealousy they've felt toward each other, which they've never actually shared until now.

They read the community polls (89% of you compare yourselves to your friends), read anonymous submissions on comparing looks, cars, and friend groups, and lasty run a rapid-fire agree/disagree round on when jealousy crosses the line.

Come to "Bouquets & Besties" on Sunday, August 9th in Portland, Oregon! Get your tickets HERE!

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Brooke Bralove has spent 22 years as a sex therapist helping women figure out what's actually going on when desire disappears. Her take: your desire isn't broken or gone, it's just stuck. She joins Em and Cass to talk about why the sex we had at the beginning of a relationship isn't coming back (and why we need to grieve that), why "just try to be in the mood" is terrible advice, and how a new kind of therapy called ART is helping women unstick everything from low libido to body image spirals in as little as one session.

Find Brooke at brookebralove.com and @brookebralovepsychotherapy on Instagram.

Want to hang out IRL?! Come to our event "Bouquets & Besties" on Aug. 9th 2026. Get your tickets HERE!

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We all want closer friendships, but too few of us are actually having the conversations that would get us there. This week Em and Cass answer a listener question about how to have hard conversations with friends, and get into the years they spent hiding things from each other: postpartum shame, a months-long sex-life crisis, feeling left out, feeling jealous, feeling like too much.

They read the community polls (68% of you have lied about how good your sex life is, 85% of you have hidden a relationship problem from your friends because you didn't want them to judge your partner) and answer five anonymous confessions, from the friend who's secretly not excited when her friends get pregnant, to the woman who hooked up with her friend's boyfriend before they started dating, to the one where you don't know how to tell your friend she isn't showing up.

For anyone who's been biting their tongue with their best friend because they were scared of what the honesty would cost, this epi is for you, babe.

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HOT RELATIONSHIP TIP: fighting isn’t a bad thing… but you do need to learn how to fight fair. Emmalee Bierly, LMFT and Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT of Shrink Chicks are back and this time they’re sharing their expert tips on how to fight. We cover: -Why fighting is actually a part of a healthy relationship -How to fight fair -How to regulate your emotions during a fight -Scripts for expressing your feelings and apologizing -What resentment can look like and how it manifests in our relationships -The grief that comes along with committing to a long term relationship

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Dr. Adi Jaffe has a PhD in psychology from UCLA, is a TEDx speaker, and founded IGNTD, a platform reframing how we talk about addiction, shame, and recovery. He joins Em and Cass for a wide-ranging conversation on addiction, mental health, and the skill nobody teaches us: how to sit with discomfort instead of running from it.

They get into what addiction actually is, why so many of us are quietly struggling with some version of it, and why the behaviors we lean on to cope (porn, drinking, doom scrolling, work) all trace back to the same thing. Adi walks them through what happens in a relationship when one person uses those behaviors to avoid intimacy, how shame keeps people stuck, and his framework for working through it. 

Find Dr. Adi at adijaffe.com and on Instagram at @dradijaffe. Unhooked is wherever you get your books.

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A listener's boyfriend called her high maintenance in front of his friends, and now she's second-guessing everything. Em and Cass are here to break it down and help her figure it out. They share the results of their (very amateur) research... because it turns out 60% of you have also been called high maintenance. They read your stories, come clean about their own, and get honest about the ways in which they truly are a little hard to maintain. Lastly, they reframe the concept of being "too much" and remind you that the best shit always has more needs.

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Laura Federico is a certified sex therapist. Morgan Miller is a certified professional midwife who runs a birth center in Maine. They've been friends since their early twenties and recently co-authored "The Cycle Book," a guide and tracking tool built to teach people about their hormones before they're in crisis. They join Em and Cass to talk about why most of us only learn about our cycles when something is already wrong, and what changes when you actually understand what your body is doing.

From there, they get into the trap of cycle-syncing programs (the seed cycling, the diets, the "stay in bed during your luteal phase" advice), why ovulation deserves way more attention than it gets, the cervical fluid biomarker nobody was taught about in middle school, and why the natural-versus-unnatural binary is a red flag every time. They explain why they're fans of tracking your cycle even on hormonal birth control, what they actually think of Oura Rings, and the stat about period tracking apps that should be on every billboard (they're 21% accurate at predicting ovulation, and your data is being bought and sold).

You can find "The Cycle Book" wherever books are sold, and Laura and Morgan at itslauraandmorgan.com and on Instagram at @itslauraandmorgan.

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A listener wrote in about her upcoming girls' weekend. The rental has a hot tub, everyone's going to be in bikinis, and she's nervous about how she looks in a bathing suit. Em and Cass share their own experiences navigating this exact scenario, plus a few tips for managing the anxiety without limiting your damn life.

From there, Cass walks us all through her recent nose job: why she wanted it, the cost breakdown, post-anesthesia antics and the healing process.

Emma shares the story of Elise Ottesen-Jensen, a Swedish journalist and anarchist who started teaching women about their bodies in the early 1900s and went on to co-found the International Planned Parenthood Federation. 

They close with a "normalize-this" segment on what summer bodies actually look like, plus listener hot takes (i.e. FREE THE BUSH).

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You asked, our favorite gynecologist answered. We brought Dr. Maria Sophocles, a board-certified OB-GYN of 30 years, back on Honeydew Me to tackle the questions our community has been too nervous to ask their own doctors (which we COMPLETELY understand). 

Before we got into your questions, she explained exactly why so many of us feel behind: most of us learned about sex from porn, a sibling, or a condom on a banana, and the U.S. still largely refuses to teach it well. (The Dutch, it turns out, are doing it right, and their teens are WAY better off for it.) So no, it's not your fault you don't know this stuff, and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Now let's get into iiiiit!

We cover:

• When a doctor shames you for asking a question: why a dismissive provider is usually acting from their own discomfort, not your ignorance, and how to advocate for yourself anyway.
• Can your gynecologist tell if you've had sex recently? The honest answer is yes, but only in one specific case. Dr. Maria explains what actually gives it away and why there's no reason for shame either way.
• What to expect at your first gyno appointment: why a first visit may not involve an exam at all, what the full exam actually includes, and how to make it a two-step process if you're nervous.
• Do pap smears have to hurt? Dr. Maria validates that the pain is real and pushes back on the "tough it out" culture, with specific things you can ask for: a smaller speculum, numbing, and meds beforehand.
• Scared of the gyno or putting it off? Facing the real barriers honestly, including bias in women's healthcare, and why skipping care still only hurts you.
• What an "abnormal" pap really means: why it's usually not what you fear, what the levels actually signify, and how the HPV connection factors in.
• The fishy-smell question, answered: what BV actually is, the surprising polyester link, and how to treat it (including whether boric acid really works).

This conversation is educational and not a substitute for your own provider's advice.

Connect with Dr. Sophocles on Instagram @mariasophoclesmd, on her website here, or by ordering a copy of The Bedroom Gap!

⁠

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Anna Nickerson is the founder of Cherry, the first brand closing the gap between period care and pleasure. Their first product is a menstrual disc designed for completely mess-free period sex. She joins Cass and Emma to talk about why period sex is still taboo (and what we lose by avoiding it: roughly seven years of sex over a woman's lifetime), how to actually use a disc without panicking, the difference between period positivity and period neutrality, and why a man who refuses period sex is usually telling on himself.

In this episode:

• The real girl math we need to be doing: skipping intimacy during your period adds up to almost seven years of sex over your lifetime
• Period positivity vs period neutrality: what actually destigmatizes the conversation around periods and why we don't have to aim for absolutely LOVING our periods
• What happens when we apologize for being on our periods and what changes when we stop
• The double standard nobody calls out: women accept everything men's bodies do (the semen, the sweat, the lack of a headboard), but our blood is somehow the grossest thing in the relationship
• Cherry's menstrual disc explained: what it's made of, where it actually sits (under the cervix, not in the vaginal canal), how to insert it without it being scary, and why your partner shouldn't feel it
• The Berkeley study that found lead in tampons and the lack of FDA enforcement that lets it stay there
• Why a partner being disgusted by period blood is a red flag worth taking seriously

Find Cherry at cherry.love, on Instagram at @wearecherry.love, and follow Anna on TikTok at @theperiodseggsgirl.

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Emma and Cass open with a listener question that hits a little too close to home: "I just turned 30 and I hate my job, my apartment, and the city I live in. Do I blow it all up or am I just having a moment?" Emma says blow it the f up. Cass, who spent a year deeply unhappy in her marriage, her motherhood, and her life in general, says try 5% better first. \

From there: Cass on the motherhood imposter syndrome that hit her like a freight train (after 27 years of never feeling it), Emma on the version she's lived with her whole life, the menstrual blood research that's genuinely wild, and an unhinged agree/disagree game powered by Cass's husband's questions.

In this episode:

• The listener question: turning 30, hating everything, and Emma vs Cass on whether to blow it up or stay put.

• "Wherever you go, there you are." Cass on the year she was deeply unwell and what she did instead of running, plus the 5% rule for making your life better without burning it down.

• "If you're a girly pop in your 30s who has let decisions make you instead of making them, maybe it's time to fucking blow it up." Emma's case for the hard pivot, geographic escapism included.

• Motherhood imposter syndrome that lasted two years, the postpartum therapist who said stop waiting for the cute walks to happen to you, and the day at the park when Cass realized she was a real mom talking to real moms.

• Emma on feeling like an imposter in every room she walks into, including the one she literally built.

• Emma's run-in with a guy she used to sleep with, and a description of his anatomy you will not forget.

• New menstrual blood research: Dr. Gemma Evans at the Hudson Institute found menstrual plasma heals wounds 40 times faster than regular blood plasma. 

• A review of decades of yo-yo dieting research turns out to be way less scary than we've been told, and Cass is mad about how women get shamed either way.

• The SPF lip gloss that Emma keeps stealing from Cass's bathroom.

• The toy Emma can't get enough of. Get yours HERE at Bellesa!

• Agree/disagree with questions from Cass's husband: texting your ex, thirst-trap likes, body counts as a red flag, fighting a goose, landing a passenger plane, men should always pay.

For anyone in their late 20s or 30s who's ever wanted to quit everything by Tuesday, or felt like an imposter in a room they literally built.

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NYC-based comedian, actor, and storyteller Star Stone (@starstonespeaks) joins us to talk about the years she spent inside Onetaste, a Bay Area "sexual wellness" group that built a multi-million dollar operation around a 15-minute clitoris stroking practice and is now better known for being investigated by the FBI. Star takes us through the sex education gap that primed her for it, the relationship that kept her there, the empowerment language that quietly turned coercive, and the long road back to her own desires. 

In this episode:

• Why Star (and basically every millennial woman) ended up Googling her own anatomy in her 20s, and how that vacuum is exactly what predatory communities count on
• How "edge work" gets weaponized: when "lean into your edge" becomes a way to talk you past your own no, and what to listen for before you sign anything
• The exact red flags Star wishes she'd clocked sooner (absolute promises, paywalls disguised as inner circles, "you're blocked, that's why you need the course," and the universal cult truth: there's always land)
• What actually happened inside Onetaste: the practice, the paid intros, the group rooms, the moment the FBI investigation quietly ended in-person practices and nobody told the members
• Toxic empowerment versus the real thing: how organizations dress up dependency as liberation, and how to spot the difference before they have your money and your nervous system
• Getting out: the eviction, calling her dad, going viral and getting hated online days after leaving, and the five years of celibacy and self-isolation that followed
• Rebuilding a sexual identity from scratch when you can't tell anymore which desires were yours and which were normalized inside the group

For anyone who's ever wondered how smart, curious women end up in places like this, and for anyone trying to tell the difference between a teacher and a trap. Star's show CL*T CULT runs June 3rd at 7 p.m. at The Pit NYC, tickets at starstonespeaks.com or @starstonespeaks on Instagram.

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Cass turns 30 the day this episode drops, and this is the conversation we wish someone had handed us at 22. Not our Pinterest board versions of adulthood (there was too much turquoise and chevron on there anyway). The real one, where "adult money" gets spent on prenatal vitamins for thinning hair, a trampoline, and a personal finance book.

Emma found her old high school career class papers this week. Sixteen-year-old Emma wanted to open an equine therapy center, planned to go to college in the Pacific Northwest (where she'd meet her husband), wanted to fix "ignorance" in the world (misspelled), and confessed her most recent life lesson was that she didn't like pot pies but kept making them anyway. Emma's now 30, single, and living alone. Cass swore she'd be single, childfree, and a world-traveling journalist, and now she's married with a kid. We use that gap as the jumping-off point for the lives we pictured versus the lives we actually built.

In this episode:

• Cass on what nobody tells you: trying to be skinny made her miserable. Trying to be strong made her feel hot.
• "If you want to be someone who does, then do." How buying one shirt led to a triathlon, a solo trip to Europe, and fly fishing in Wyoming.
• Why "have more opinions" is a real New Year's resolution.
• The shift from being palatable for everyone to picking your people.
• Why community asks you to be inconvenienced, and the unsexy truth that no, it doesn't just happen if it's meant for you.
• Making and keeping friends as an adult when nobody's built-in anymore.
• What the listener polls said about what changes most in your 30s (spoiler: 48% of you said the same thing).
• Emma's 30th birthday recap: 90% on the couch, 5% in a hot tub, 100% a little high.
• What we hope we're doing at 40, and what we hope we never do.

For anyone in their late 20s or 30s who suspects all the adults around them are also winging it.

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Motherhood is supposed to come naturally… right? That’s the story so many women are sold, and according to Dr. Sarah Oreck, it’s one of the biggest reasons us mommys are struggling in silence. In this episode, we're unpack the guilt, pressure, identity shifts, and impossible expectations placed on women during pregnancy, postpartum, and motherhood. From “maternal instincts” to breastfeeding shame to the myth of bouncing back, Dr. Sarah is dispelling the myths that hold us back and offering a fresh take on what motherhood actually means.

We Cover:

• The myth of “maternal instinct” and why so many women feel blindsided by motherhood. How unrealistic expectations around motherhood can leave even high-functioning women feeling disconnected, anxious, or like they’re doing it wrong.
• The pressure to be the “perfect mom” from the moment you get pregnant. From food choices to birth plans to feeding decisions, we unpack the constant guilt and policing women experience during pregnancy and postpartum.
• Why “bouncing back” after having a baby is harming women’s mental health. Dr. Sarah explains how identity shifts, hormonal changes, and emotional overwhelm are often treated like personal failures instead of normal human experiences.
• The truth about breastfeeding, formula feeding, and maternal shame. A nuanced conversation about bodily autonomy, sexual trauma, mental health, and why feeding your baby should never come at the expense of the mother’s wellbeing.
• How motherhood can completely change your relationship with your body. From pregnancy to postpartum recovery, we talk about body image, autonomy, touch exhaustion, and feeling disconnected from yourself.
• Why moms desperately need more support, community, and honest conversations. The emotional labor of motherhood is massively underestimated, especially in a culture that expects women to do everything without complaint.
• Permission to make choices that actually work for YOU and your family. Whether it’s C-sections, formula feeding, medication, childcare, or mental health support, this episode is about rejecting shame and building a version of motherhood that feels sustainable and aligned with your values.

Connect with Dr. Sarah by following @sarahoreckmed and @mavidahealth on Instagram.

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