Regret

Regret is part of the human condition, however with appropriate action, discipline and fortitude, we can reduce the effects of its sting. 

“Nembe ngamanya yadadua nanyuma” “The statement ‘I wish I knew’ always comes at the tail end of an occurrence” Taita proverb.

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we need to take action now to avoid the pain of regret later in life. We should take action in important areas of our lives such as our health, family, friends, love of God and others, and enhancing the things we are passionate about like our talents or hobbies, things we value. 
Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. So said  Sidney J. Harris

I have experienced this pain of regret in a couple of areas in my life. I grew up listening to music and was amazed at how the musicians played the music pieces I listened to. I wondered from an early age if I would ever be able to play the guitar. I had two clear opportunities to learn playing the guitar that I failed to explore as a teenager. One day, I was going to visit my grandmother, who lived about half an hour up the hill from our home. On my way there, I passed by the local shopping centre to meet some friends and gather the latest news in the village.

After a while, I was ready to continue with my journey. A few metres ahead of me was a gentleman heading in the same direction. He was one of the most talented guitarists in our village. He played the guitar so melodiously to the delight of many. He played in church on Sundays and during special events organized occasionally to sensitize people on various matters. I hastened my steps, even jogged a bit to catch up with him so that we could walk together. I recall we had a conversation about life generally and more so about faith. I recall thinking to myself “here I am walking and talking with this skilled guitarist, I should ask him about how I could learn to play like him”. However, for some reason, I held back from asking the important question: how can I learn to play the guitar like you? Instead, I let the conversation continue on other subjects, important as they were, but led to a different outcome. As way leads to way, we got to my grandmother’s place. We parted ways and the gentleman went on his way to his home which was some metres further on. And that was my chance at learning guitar from this talented player that went begging. 

The second opportunity I had was of another guitarist who literally stayed next door to me for a while. You see, he was hired by my uncle to do some work and he lived there for a year or more. He played the guitar so well. He even told us that he used to play with one of the famous bands in East Africa in the 80s by the name Les Wanyika. We couldn’t verify this assertion but what was clear was that the guy was a talented guitarist. He played in our local church every Sunday much to the amazement of the congregation. So here he was, living next door, I admired his craft. Yet, I did not ask to learn from him. And just like that, after a while, he was gone and so did the opportunity to learn guitar playing from him. 

 Many years later, I have the opportunity to learn. What with the internet with many guitar teachers. I have learnt how to play a bit - as evidenced by the introductory tune to this episode - and I continue to practice to get better.   This is one of those things in my list that I wouldn’t want to regret in the future, that I did not take time to learn to play the guitar. So not all hope is lost at least in this example. And that is the hope we have, as long as you are alive, there are things you can still do to minimize the sting of regret. 

  “We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.” Jim Rohn

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