The Kindness Factor

Kindness is an enabler of harmony. It perpetuates harmony within a person and harmony with others. It is the lubricant of harmony, it keeps things going smoothly and pleasantly. 

“A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives roses.” Chinese Proverb

Kindness is defined in Oxford Dictionary as the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate. This quality as we’ll explore in this episode has  immense benefits for both the doer and the receiver of a kind act. For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should be kind, kind to ourselves, to the people close to us and to the people we encounter as we go about our daily activities. 

I recall a Swahili story I read many years ago of a conversation between a rich man and a poor man. The rich man noticed how the poor man’s wife was very healthy and good looking. The rich man’s wife had everything she needed yet it puzzled the rich man that she was not looking healthy and happy. 

So the rich man approached the poor man one day and asked him what his secret was. Why was his wife looking so healthy, what food had he been giving her, what was the secret, he asked. “Quite frankly” he said, “I have been giving her the choicest of foods, she has all manner of luxuries, she even does not labour much for there are many servants to help us with our work.”

The poor man acknowledged that he did not have all the resources to provide a lavish lifestyle for his wife. However, he told the rich man that his secret was the tongue or to put it bluntly “the meat of the tongue”. He said his secret was that he made every effort to give his wife tongue meat. He ensured that of all things, he should not miss doing this particular one. 

 The rich man was grateful to the poor man for telling him the secret. He took off since he had no time to waste and he needed to attend to his wife. He went to his vast estate and instructed his servants to slaughter several cows, goats and sheep and to bring their tongues. He then preserved some of the tongues while some were prepared as a special delicacy for his wife. So for a long time, his wife ate the tongue meat, specially prepared and the rich man hoped to see a big change in her health and appearance. However, there was no much difference in how his wife looked after several months of trying out this secret. 

The frustrated rich man decided to go back to the poor man to update him and let him know that his secret was fake. It was not working. He felt deceived and taken for granted by the poor man. So he told him “I did all that you told me, I have given my wife tongue meat for several months but there is no change, did you deceive me?!” 

The visibly puzzled poor man said “oh my! So you have been feeding your wife tongue meat every day?!” “Yes indeed” said the rich man. “You must have misunderstood me, what I meant is that the secret is meat from the tongue, that is kind and endearing words from me to my wife, that is my secret!”

 In the book of Proverbs in the Bible chapter 11:17 say “A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself”. In some ways, scientists have proven this fact. There is this YouTube video that talks about kindness being the only thing in the world that doubles when you share it. It describes the almost instant benefits we derive from being kind. It says that studies have shown that if you perform at least one random act of kindness a day, you will not only reduce your stress levels, anxiety and depression, but your body is flooded with the same hormones that make you and the person you have helped calmer, healthier and happier. 

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