Helping men find their best selves in the 21st century. A weekly discussion about manhood guiding men towards wholeness, kindness and positive masculinity.

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2025/8/2/22/e16eec4d-01bd-4a9d-9169-4b8b7e81eb4d_gm_26_-_performance_anxiety.mp3

Audio from the YouTube video - watch here: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtVSKVI5nAY" rel="nofollow">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtVSKVI5nAY</a>The typical response to men experiencing performance anxiety is &#34;deal with it! Take pills. Study Tantra. It&#39;s your problem.&#34; Today&#39;s rumination is all about whether we have to take responsibility for our performance at all. Intimacy should be about celebrating - and not judging - each other&#39;s pleasure. This offers a different way of working with it.Apologies for the audio issues. I&#39;m still ironing out my setup with OBS. You&#39;d think it would be simple, but... apparently it isn&#39;t.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:<a href="https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/" rel="nofollow">https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/</a><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQA" rel="nofollow">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQA</a><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcast" rel="nofollow">https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcast</a><a href="https://gentlemanpodcast.org/" rel="nofollow">https://gentlemanpodcast.org/</a>#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Male Performance Anxiety - How I Deal With It

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/12/28/6/45990d60-fd0a-4b0e-a5f4-4200000023b5_gm_24_-_male_loneliness_epidemic.mp3

It’s official – men are in a loneliness epidemic. Equimundo recently published its “State OfAmerican Men 2023” report, showcasing some alarming statistics related to men’s social and mental health. Some of the most striking statistics: 40% of all men show depressive symptoms; 44% of all men had thoughts of suicide in the prior two weeks; 65% of men aged 18 to 23 say that “no one really knows me well” ;  48% say their online lives are more engaging and rewarding than their offline lives ; and almost 30% of younger men reported not spending time with someone outside their household in the past week.Find the full report here: <a href="https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/STATE-OF-AMERICAN-MEN-2023.pdf" rel="nofollow">https://www.equimundo.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/STATE-OF-AMERICAN-MEN-2023.pdf</a>There are so many reasons for this, some of which are covered in the episode: men are lacking the soft skills (relational skills) that would help them build social infrastructures that support their wellbeing. Today’s discussion covers how this hurts men, especially when things take a turn for the worse in their lives, and how men can proactively address this. Men need to get better at finding and growing emotionally deep and resilient relationships.--This episode references a previous episode, &#34;Men&#39;s Groups - Why They&#39;re Critical to Everyone&#39;s Wellbeing&#34;. Listen to that here:https://pod.fo/e/20ec84--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

The Male Loneliness Epidemic - Causes and Solutions

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/12/17/6/3cf65a99-5cb8-4e9a-b79f-44634d634cf8_gm_22_-_robin_nelson___videogames.shortened.mp3

Gentle Man is proud this week to host a longtime collaborator, Robin Nelson. Robin is a podcaster and lifelong enjoyer of videogames. We discuss videogames and their role (if any) in perpetuating real-life violence. We examine how gaming intersected our other childhood influences and the role it plays in our adult lives. Robin also explores gun ownership and how gaming fostered that interest in him. This conversation is a critical meditation on the role that outside and media influences play on male violence.--﻿Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Videogames and their Role in Male Violence - Robin Nelson

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/12/14/20/484435a7-f96a-4f72-8093-98a6bd00777a_gm_23_-_shura_eagen.mp3

Today I’m thrilled to share my conversation with Shura Eagen, MS, LPC. Shura is a licensed therapist who works with men on a daily basis in a number of applied modalities. I invited her on the show to talk about the common issues she sees coming up for the men she works with. We discuss how men often experience unknown emotions as “anxiety”, and that befriending the sensations - rather than fixing them - is the way forward. We discuss the dynamics of partners in the home, dating in the age of digital loneliness, and raising children with more opportunity to play and find their self expression.--Shura Eagen has a master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling with an emphasis in Somatic Psychology through Prescott College. She has completed advanced training in trauma-informed Hakomi Mindfulness-based Somatic Psychotherapy and Experiential Attachment Psychotherapy through the M.E.T.A. Institute in Portland, OR. In 2020, she became a level I AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy) therapist, and her current focus in working with her clients is breathwork. Find Shura and learn more about her offerings at<a href="https://www.luminousheartwellness.org/" rel="nofollow">https://www.luminousheartwellness.org/</a>--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Men's Anxiety is a Mask for Other Emotions with Shura Eagen, MS, LPC

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/11/29/23/f221f2b0-1b52-4776-8bf9-3a3a1723035c_gm_21_-_the_myth_of_male_polarity.mp3

Today we are discussing the (what should be) controversial topic of male polarity. This is a theory popularized by David Deida that states that masculine and feminine energies must be balanced and opposite to create attraction between people. In his book &#34;The Way of the Superior Man&#34; and through his teachings, David outlines how people can improve their relationships and their sex lives by adhering to the behavioral guidelines of the polarity they&#39;re trying to achieve. In this episode we cover why these teachings are problematic and how they are essentially a New Age repackaging of old patriarchal ideals. We also cover alternate teachings and theories that provide much more useful and realistic blueprints for people trying to grow or preserve intimacy in their relationships.--Esther Perel&#39;s article &#34;In Long-Term Relationships, When Do You Find Yourself Most Drawn to Your Partner?&#34;https://www.estherperel.com/blog/when-are-you-drawn-to-your-partner-in-long-term-relationships--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

The Myth of Male Polarity - David Deida is Full of Crap

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/11/14/2/2b5e0f11-2b38-4391-a98f-931a8c9b8a67_abiting_the_male_body_in_posture_and_movement_.mp3

The rigidness of expectation on male behavior from our culture is mirrored in the rigidness in the bodies of men. We internalize messages about how we’re supposed to hold ourselves and act, and these messages literally shape our bodies. It can take a lifetime to assess and address the implications of this. When we are held back from expressing our authentic desires, we restrict the flow of our life’s force. When we allow social expectations to limit our behavior, we stifle vital parts of ourselves. This episode identifies areas in which this commonly happens for men and outlines strategies for giving ourselves more freedom.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Inhabiting the Male Body - Why Many Men Feel Constricted

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/11/3/22/db13245b-f3c2-454a-ae0e-9812639479c8_gm_19_-_shame.mp3

Shame is one of the deepest challenges men face and one of the strongest reinforcing elements defining gender roles in culture. From the moment we are born and continuing on into our lives, we are exposed to shaming by our parents, siblings, peers, romantic partners and coworkers. Shame is so pernicious because it often lurks internalized in our own psyches – we may not even be aware of the original external motive that informed our negative internal dialogues. The amount of restrictions that shame places on men consciously and unconsciously is monumental. Working through shame gives men greater access to the things they often want: success in dating and their careers, and the esteem of their peers. This episode outlines many of the ways in which shame gets instilled in us, and then supplies 6 tools and approaches for working through it.--This episode references a previous episode, &#34;Male Body Dysmorphia - It Probably Affects You&#34;. Listen to that here:https://pod.fo/e/1ebd65--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

How Shame Harms Men & 6 Ways To Overcome It

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/10/26/3/feefc859-992e-4141-981f-8e2c89fafd27_gm_18_-_male_affection.mp3

Affection is something adult men often struggle to share with each other. We may feel comfortable showing it towards the women in our lives, whether it’s our spouses or kids or other female relatives. But many men, even those who are close in friendship or share familial ties, are loath to share much physical or verbal affection with other men. Many factors go into this, such as a pervasive culture of homophobia, memory of traumatic harm at the hands of other men, and lack of sufficient role modeling in the culture at large. In this episode we explore the challenge and suggest strategies for getting more male affection in your life.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcasthttps://gentlemanpodcast.org/#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Why Men Feel Afraid to Share Affection & What To Do About It

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/10/14/23/75b952c5-24d7-47f0-a6a3-5ef9dce2c691_gm_17_-_sage_liskey.mp3

In this episode, we’re honored to bring an interview with Sage Liskey, activist author and founder of Rad Cat Press. His work for the last many years has focused on wellness in many forms. Today’s conversation focuses on men’s wellness, from finding community to being in more direct conversation about changing gender roles. We explore reflections on dating in a contemporary feminist climate and discuss how education could better serve children and young boys. Sage has a wealth of knowledge on wellness that goes all the way down to the genetic level.--Sage Liskey is an Oregon-born author, artist, designer, poet, event organizer, and public speaker. He is the founder of the Rad Cat Press and writes books about uplifting lives and reimagining society. His works include You&#39;re A Snarky Darkness, Radical Self-Care, and You Are A Great And Powerful Wizard.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcast #boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Men's Wellness & What DNA Dictates with Sage Liskey

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/10/4/1/3b0a6223-13be-461d-ba82-4c00b1a992bd_gm16_-_male_grief.mp3

Men often struggle to grieve. Grief is one of the most basic human impulses and imperatives. Without it, we will always on some level lead tortured or incomplete lives. Women in most cultures are more encouraged to feel and express grief, which helps them to maintain healthy emotional balance. Without this same encouragement and healthy outlet, men can become lonely, alienated and violent. Today’s show discusses the challenges of male grief and suggests some approaches to unlocking it.Also don’t forget to check out previous episode “Boys Don&#39;t Cry - How to Work With Feelings” for some useful tips for men wanting to get into grief: <a href="https://pod.fo/e/1e457f" rel="nofollow">https://pod.fo/e/1e457f</a>--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon! #boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Male Grief - The Lifesaving Medicine of Grieving

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/9/29/22/788c587f-612e-4441-963d-6fa6de693cc9_er_pressure_and_role_modeling_in_male_violence.mp3

Some would consider violence to be an innate male trait. Statistics would certainly seem to back up this hypothesis. The nature / nurture debate around this and many other topics related to gender continues. Today’s show focuses on the nurture side of the equation. I see a clear pattern of nurture towards boys and men that drives them in the direction of violence. In this episode I explore some of those patterns, and cover aspects of my own personal story related to male violence.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon! #boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Walking - Peer Pressure and Role Modeling in Male Violence

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/9/19/23/bec87e56-ef19-4a01-b9ad-1bc74d5b6150_gm_14_-_the_cost_of_privilege.mp3

A lot of discussion is given to the cost of privilege for the underprivileged. Less attention has been given to the ill effects of privilege on the privileged. The assumption is often that men enjoy - and benefit from - male privilege. In today&#39;s episode I argue otherwise. The ways are numerous in which male privilege separates men and makes them feel like monsters. Many of the things men most need are obscured from them by the very privilege that is purported to make their lives better. A world without privilege is a better world for men, and a better world for everyone.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon! #boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

The Cost of Privilege - Manhood and Monstrosity

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/9/7/22/ae50d3a8-0259-4c0f-933c-596ccfd0da25_gm13_-_male_body_dysmorphia.mp3

Today the topic is male body dysmorphia - a preoccupation with or a belief that a part of the body is wrong or ugly. Men commonly struggle with dysmorphias related to their height, musculature, penis size, hair and other parts of the body. These are conditioned insecurities that rest upon a deep foundation of cultural expectations around what men should be and do. Today we explore these dysmorphias and how we can begin to understand and address them.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon! #boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Male Body Dysmorphia - It Probably Affects You

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/8/29/23/0d049623-b715-4319-b97b-cb8c569c64f7_gm_12_-_walking_-_self_care.mp3

Self care is near the top of the list of things men struggle with. We are raised in a culture that tells us we don&#39;t need it, and when it is clear that we do need it, we don&#39;t know how to do it. From going to the doctor, taking downtime and relaxing, having emotionally supportive conversations with friends – men struggle to do even these basic activities. As a result, men are more prone to negative behaviors and self harming behavior. This episode talks about these challenges and suggests some ways for men to get proactive about self care.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon! #boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence

Walking - Self Care and why Men Need More of It

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/8/22/20/4eff8198-4433-4826-aad3-4e6e1b985730_gm11_-_walking_-_work.mp3

Society is flush with the implication that men have to work, or produce something of value, in order to be respected as men. The idea of man as a machine of production has been around long before the industrial revolution – it likely dates back as far as the advent of agrarian culture, and perhaps further. As such, men are raised with the implicit imperative that they must work hard and be successful in order to be worthy. When men lose their livelihood or sense of purpose, it can come as a huge blow to their self esteem.This episode addresses this paradigm and suggests some alternative ways of approaching and living within it. Men whose sense of self-worth comes from a place deeper than how productive they are being – and divorced from any notion of how &#39;manly&#39; they are – will be happier and more resilient to change.--Follow Gentle Man on other platforms:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbQdEk0mgyXDsql7PPyqUQAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon! #boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence #toxicmasculinity

Walking - The Pressure on Men to Work and Produce

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/8/15/23/ef9971ea-75c0-411b-998c-fa72cdb3924e_ep._5_-_feeling_your_feelings_final.mp3

&#34;Boys don&#39;t cry&#34; is how the saying goes. Men have incredible trouble feeling their feelings, and it has huge consequences in their lives and in society. This episode covers how the messaging starts during infancy, how it gets perpetuated by peers in school, and how &#39;grown man&#39; propaganda continues it in adulthood. Then we cover how men can start to get in touch with their feelings, and we explore methods that can concretely help to create safety and inspiration around exploring feelings.Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon! #boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism

Boys Don't Cry - How to Work With Feelings

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/7/28/0/c3fcadc6-66fc-4467-8ace-4a6ee1ce7f06_gm9_-_arian_mobasser_final.mp3

Today we are joined by Dr. Arian Mobasser, neuro &amp; behavioral scientist and coordinator of the Men&#39;s Resource Center at the University of Oregon, as well as cofounder of Circle Science. He has done men&#39;s work both theoretically through the lens of his research and pragmatically through his position at UO. In this episode we explore his deep insight into the world that young men navigate, both within and without the academic settings of colleges and fraternities. He shares how important it is to meet men where they are and to function from a fundament of understanding when doing social justice work.Follow Dr. Arian on instagram:https://www.instagram.com/arian.mobasser/ Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon! #boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism

Meeting the Challenges of Men Within and Without College with Dr. Arian Mobasser

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/6/30/0/f9d56340-1d96-45fe-accd-d31a212825b6_gm_8_-_man_as_protector.mp3

Today we&#39;re examining the role of the man as protector in society. We explore how the two current main cultural warrior archetypes – the soldier and the police officer – are both dangerous and lacking in necessary restraint, moral bearing and responsibility. Then we go into healthier ways that men can express the protector role in their relationships and communities. Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon! #boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism

Man As Protector and the Warrior Archetype

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/6/20/22/1f1a44e8-b53c-4581-893c-122d6e831370_gm_7_-_foster_mckeon.mp3

This week we are fortunate to share a conversation with Foster McKeon, a trans man and seahorse dad who has deep learning and insight into the spaces between gender binaries. We explore how he conceptualized manhood during his transition and the surprising privileges he gained along the way. Then we dive into hormones and how they do – and importantly don&#39;t! – affect our behaviors. Finally, we explore the complex and rich experience of being a trans man giving birth (known as &#39;seahorse dads&#39;) and some of the social challenges therein.This episode also contains a deep rumination on male violence against women and how invisible it can be to other men. There are aspects of this work that are mostly or only visible to women, which underscores the importance of believing women and survivors of abuse. I am so grateful to be able to have this deep and insightful conversation with a man who has been on so many sides of the cultural navigation between genders.--Find Foster on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/dearellisonlouise/https://www.instagram.com/foster.the.person/--Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon!--The track &#34;Radio Right Now&#34; by Felix Laband is used with direct permission from the artist. Find Felix&#39;s music here:https://open.spotify.com/artist/3E6Tbv49KoKnCoGqHJHQGx?si=Np0twh5xTv2ah2aBkfJKPw#boys #men #manhood #masculinity #feminism #maleviolence #toxicmasculinity

Choosing Your Manhood, Hormones & Being a Seahorse Dad with Foster McKeon

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2023/6/15/10/d403102a-e461-451b-b6d7-f34bdd78f864_gm_6_-_luke_adler_finished.mp3

Today we are joined by Luke Adler, a bodyworker and spiritual healer with deep insight into men&#39;s challenges and their movement towards maturity. On this show we discuss key points in his childhood and adolescence that shaped his adult understanding of manhood and a spiritual life. We dip into topics such as reconciling assertiveness with gentleness, clean shame and what it looks like, and some of the dynamics underlying straight relationships between men and women.Find Luke online:The Luke Adler Healing Podcasthttps://open.spotify.com/show/6k6WH1tFeL7hWzJY6aKr8y?si=c5adc1a257014e8bInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukeadlerhealing/Website: https://lukeadlerhealing.com/ Follow Gentle Man on social media:https://www.instagram.com/gentlemanpodcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@gentlemanpodcastPatreon coming soon!#boys #men #masculinity #feminism

Spirituality, Clean Shame and Straight Relationships with Luke Adler

Redefining manhood in the 21st century

Helping men find their best selves in the 21st century. A weekly discussion about manhood guiding men towards wholeness, kindness and positive masculinity.