Undocumented in the United States

Narrator: Were you ever a car rider after school? Remember, being a car rider after school and waiting for your parents? You are in the car rider area, eagerly waiting to leave so that you can finally feel relaxed at home and safe at home. As you wait, other kids leave, so there are fewer and fewer kids waiting as time passes by. As the number of kids waiting in the car area decreases, you would start to panic and think of reasons as to why your parents are taking so long. You think maybe they're late? or maybe they forgot? And unless you're a kid with undocumented parents, you would never think your parents had to have been detained. And deported by ice. In these moments, how do you feel? Lonely, vulnerable depressed? As time passes by, you begin to feel that no one is coming for you. Although in our experiences, our parents eventually show up. But unfortunately, a group of children with undocumented parents in Forest, Mississippi in 2019, never got picked up. Kids waiting for their parents to pick them up from school, or return home after work, but never do because of deportations. This is a fear that hundreds of children of undocumented parents live with. Fear of never seeing their parents again along with various other challenges that affect their mental health. Although immigrant children in the US are more likely to have high exposure to mental health risks. They are less likely to receive mental health services. Maria Estrada who was born in Mexico and currently attends Wake Forest University, talked to me about her experience growing up as a child of undocumented parents and about her life in the US.

Student: So, I have two parents who were born in Mexico and raised there, grew up there and then I have shoulder sisters who were also born there. And then I have a younger brother who was born in the United States. So, my dad didn't have a job and where they live it was just not. It was not possible for him to raise a family of three or four. I guess it was five, including them, five people with having no job and my mom's job didn’t pay enough so they came here for like economic stability. 

Narrator: Students like her have parents that come to the US to seek you better life fleeing countries of economic instability, corruption and violence. Once they get to the US, although their life is improved, new challenges present themselves, such as understanding that their parents are undocumented and what being undocumented really means. 

Student: Yes, my parents have always been very clear with us about our legal status. I think it makes it things a lot less complicated for us if we know ahead of time like what we're allowed to do, what we're not allowed to do. And yeah, but they were always very candid and very honest with us. 

Was growing up they would tell me like not to disclose that I wasn't born in the United States so they wouldn't tell so it would tell me not to tell people I was born in Mexico even though I thought that was like super cool and I wanted to share that with other people they like they really emphasize us not sharing that because with that came other questions about like how did you get here, you know and. It was just harder to explain that and they also explained to us that you know we wouldn't be able to get drivers licenses, so we wouldn't be able to drive legally just like they weren't able to. And then you know, course we wouldn't be able to get jobs without a Social Security number, or at least high paying quality jobs we'd have to like, settle for other jobs. And in that they thought that it would be more difficult for us to like get helping came to school like financially when it came to going to college or something like that. It would be very difficult for us to get. Any help from schools like in terms of scholarships or even like it would be impossible to get financial aid from the government. 

Narrator: One particular challenge that children of undocumented parents face is having to hide their identity of being a undocumented. This means constantly dodging questions, watching what people say. And maintaining distance with all their friends, which can result in having few understand their situations. Kids constantly working to hide their identities could cause anxiety and depression among them. 

Student: When I was in first grade, I think I was sharing with my friends that I was born in Mexico and my like first grade teacher. She wasn't even my teacher. I was just in her room when we were talking about it. She approached me and then she started asking questions. So she was asking you like oh, that's cool that you like you weren’t born here. You were born in Mexican, I said yeah. And then she started asking me how did you get here and like and I was like I don't know and then she's like you should start asking your parents questions like that. Then so I had like I feel, I think I already knew. That I, you know I wasn't born here and that I was undocumented, but I decided to explicitly ask my parents like what that meant and like why she was questioning me. And then they were all like, yeah, This is why we think it's better for you to not tell people that you're not born here because people will ask the questions and some people might have bad intentions. 

Student: People finding out someone's immigration status could be really problematic as it could affect their entire lives. 

Narrator: And I could get us deported, and that would mean that we would be separated like from your younger brother potentially, and you would like lose all your friends everything that you know here everyone that we know everyone you grew up around. We would have to be. We would have to go back to Mexico and I think that was the first time that I really understood what it meant to be like undocumented. And that was when I was like in first grade. 

Narrator: The other main issue that affects his children mental health is having constant fear of deportation. 

Student: 'cause I was always like scared that my parents would get deported or that I would even get deported and living with that. It's very it's not something fun. It's not something I would wish on someone else, especially like little kids growing up living with that fear. 

Narrator: These stresses that these kids grow up with are unique experiences that many would never understand. 

Student: Grow up with a constant fear and most kids don't grow up with that. If you really think about it like most kids don't grow up thinking, hey. I could get deported or my parents could get deported, you know, and it's like. It's it's more than just a fear, it's anxiety, it's stress on little kids and growing up with that is definitely not good for your physical or mental health. I mean, like everyone has their own problems, but that's just like. It's a real life problem. I'm thinking about literally. Having to leave the place where you were raised, a place that you call home or even having to leave like your parents. The people that raised you, and I think that a lot of people don't think about that, like sometimes people will be like, yeah, in death in situations you know, like you get separated from your parents. But there are situations here where like your parents are literally taken away from you. And you won't see them again, and I think that through deportation, that's one of those ways that that happens. 

Narrator: These students, living with all the stresses that come with having undocumented parents, don't always have access to resources to deal with the stress. Students with undocumented parents sometimes only have access to resources in college, but those that do not have the privilege of going to college due to financial burden may never see a therapist because many do not qualify or unable to afford health insurance. Therefore, a session with a therapist would be paid out of pocket. 

Student: Being here at Wake, they offer so many resources that I was able to take advantage of their counseling center here and start going there. But before that, there was really no way that I could really reach someone who's like a mental health professional and like my sister, also struggled with that as well. And then we didn't have insurance at that time and I only have insurance because my scholarship offers that. So, you know trying to find some- trying to find somewhere that's affordable where we could go, and also where we could feel safe and like, feel like we're not going to like- Because I know there's confidentiality, but there's still like that sense of, you know, I don't know if I can share this because I don't know if this is gonna bite me in the butt later, or like you know, this is gonna end up hurting me more than helping me.

Narrator: Another reason kids with a undocumented parents sometimes never get help to maintain good mental health is that the stress they go through have been normalized in their community. Student: Everything was so normalized and I felt like it was normal to feel the way I did, but it wasn't until I started like- When I was here at college and I got was exposed to other people who like have that DACA and as well as like you know, to friends who don't have DACA who are citizens that I realized maybe going to therapy back then would have helped me a lot with how I cope and how I deal with my issues today. 

Narrator: The burden of hiding their identity is so difficult and traumatizing to these kids that it has lasting effects. 

Student: I think the word difficult doesn't even really match up to how hard it is. You know how all the different emotions that go with you know, not telling people information that's so valuable, so important that can really alter your life. And when you do decide to tell someone it's more like you really have to trust that person, or really hope or have good faith in people, and hope that they won’t say anything. Hope that they won't use it against you. And I think in that situation it's like, thinking the best of people, but the way I was raised and my parents and did this like with good reasoning. You know you can't trust everyone that comes around because people have different political views, have different morals, think different things and so you could tell one person and they let that slip to someone and their parent. I don't know. Maybe their parents are against you, you know illegal immigration and then they like, make a few phone calls. You know anything could happen, and so with that you know you have to be very confident in other people and you have to put a lot of faith and trust in other people, which is difficult to do in general. But with something so heavy it's almost impossible to do that. But also just growing up with that, it's very difficult. You know keeping that as an adult, I feel like it's easier to to hide that, but like when you're little, when your little kid and you're still trying to understand different things, you’re still trying to like relate to other students to other kids and you can't really do that because you feel like you're hiding a really big secret and like no one really understand you. And no one knows what you're going through. You know, like you always feel like the outcast, it feels like someone different.

Narrator: One potential reason these kids are scared to seek help is that the US government has a negative attitude towards immigrants. Using bad language to describe immigrants, while other countries are more welcoming to the immigrants and have a positive image of immigrants.

Student: This, this is a little weird to say, but I felt embarrassed at first, like I was embarrassed that I was like having to tell them that “hey look, I'm undocumented,” you know, it felt like a shame, which it isn't, but it was also like a feeling of nervousness at the same time where I was just like, OK, they can either take this in a good way or bad way and they like might hate me, or they might love me, or like I don't know.

Narrator: Although this is a complex issue that involves politics, one simple way to address the issue is educating the community. Particularly teachers so that they could provide a safe environment to these kids who spend a lot of time at school. 

Student: For one, I think better education in the school system about what it means to be undocumented, and the fear that comes with that. I know like when I went to high school and I was applying to colleges, I went to my counselor to ask like you know how do I do this? How do I do that? She had no idea how to tell me what to do and that caused me more stress and then you know, it made me feel like no one can help me and I think providing that in schools would be great, especially because I was lucky enough to know people who could help me, who know to know people who have gone through the same journey. But some students don't have that, and providing that at schools would be a lot of help for them. But I also think like. It's really important kinda just change this stigma around being undocumented as something like, not bad, you know. It- people do it for different reasons. You know, come here, but sometimes, it works out better for other people and that shouldn't be the reason why, like some students have to pay the price.

Narrator: In an article titled, ‘Mental Disorders Among ndocumented Mexican Immigrants in High Risk Neighborhoods,’ which was published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. Researchers reported significant data that shows undocumented Mexican immigrants are at risk for mental disorders such as depression and anxiety due to post migration challenges. This means we must work to find ways to protect this population in order to promote good health in our communities. 

This podcast was produced by Saul Rodriguez for the 2021 Spring Global Health class.