331 | when you realize you want more: figuring out what you really want & healing the limiting beliefs & self talk to create it (ft olivia tati, engineer turned real estate investor and coach)
36m | Oct 1, 2026What if you’re not actually lost—you’ve just spent so much time doing what you’re “supposed” to do that you’ve forgotten to ask yourself what you actually want?
In this episode of Free & Well, I’m talking with Olivia Tati about what it really looks like to create a life that feels aligned, fulfilling, and genuinely yours. We talk about the pressure high-achieving women put on themselves to have the perfect career, plan, timeline, and identity—and what happens when you realize the life you built on paper doesn’t actually feel like the life you want to live.
Olivia shares how she went from corporate engineering and $25,000 of credit card debt to entrepreneurship, real estate investing, coaching, and intentionally creating a life around freedom and purpose.
We dive into people-pleasing, identity, self-worth, perfectionism, fear, analysis paralysis, and the pressure to have everything figured out before taking the first step.
You’ll learn why you don’t need to hit rock bottom to change your life, why clarity often comes from experimenting instead of thinking harder, how the way you talk to yourself affects what you believe is possible, and how to stop overwhelming yourself with the entire staircase when you only need to take the next step.
If you’re an ambitious woman in your 20s who looks like she’s doing everything “right” but secretly feels anxious, stuck, or unsure whether the life you’re building is actually yours, this conversation is for you.
You don’t need the entire plan.
You just need permission to listen to yourself—and take the next step.
HIGHLIGHTS |
00:00 — You’re Not Lost—You’re Overwhelmed
Why high-achieving women can struggle to hear what they actually want.
02:36 — From High Achiever to Burnout
What happens when success on paper doesn’t feel fulfilling.
08:35 — You Don’t Need to Hit Rock Bottom to Change
Why you’re allowed to want something different before everything falls apart.
10:27 — What to Do When You Feel Stuck
How to keep moving when you can’t see results yet.
13:16 — Stop Asking “What Should I Want?”
A simple question to reconnect with what you actually want.
16:33 — When You’ve Done Everything “Right” but Still Feel Unfulfilled
Breaking free from expectations, people-pleasing, and someone else’s definition of success.
20:19 — The Self-Talk That Keeps You Stuck
How your beliefs about yourself can shape your confidence and what feels possible.
23:18 — Stop Putting Other Women on a Pedestal
How comparison and self-doubt can keep you from going after what you want.
28:22 — How to Stop Overthinking Your Next Step
Why you don’t need the whole plan—you just need the next step.
32:43 — Are You Chasing This or Proving Yourself?
How to tell the difference between authentic ambition and achievement driven by insecurity.
34:30 — Creating a Life That Actually Feels Like Yours
A reminder that life can be lighter, freer, and more fun.
START HERE |
🧬 Join UNAPOLOGETIC: a live 5 day confidence experiment! 9/28-10/3
🎙Tune in to other listener favorite episodes:
- 4 Things I'd Do Differently If I Was Starting My Anxiety & Confidence Journey over
- 4 Steps to Go From Nervous to Doing the Dang Thing
MENTIONED |
Olivia Tati is a Freedom Empowerment Guide, entrepreneur, and real estate investor helping ambitious women build lives and businesses with more freedom, joy, and choice. After leaving her corporate engineering career, she built a multi-million-dollar real estate portfolio and now teaches women how to create wealth without building a life they need to escape from.
Olivia's Fund Your Freedom Free Masterclass
ABOUT FREE & WELL |
Free & Well is a mental wellness movement helping women start fully living their lives. Hosted by anxiety therapist & yoga teacher & therapeutic workshop facilitator, Devoney, each episode blends practical mental health tools, faith & nervous system based tools to help you step into your most peace filled, confident era.
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DISCLAIMER |
Recommendations shared in this episode are based on my own personal opinion. No content provided by Free & Well and/or on this show is a substitute for medical or mental health treatment. It is all purely for educational purposes and is not a replacement for medical, legal, or mental health advice. Please call 911 if you are in an emergency, the Access & Crisis Line if you are in a crisis at 888-724-7240, 988 for urgent mental health support or contact a licensed mental health provider for mental health support. See full disclaimer here.
