Compassionate Zombie Killer - Curt Derksen
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Hosted by: Andrew Bracewell @EverydayAmazingPodcast
Produced and Edited by: Justin Hawkes @Hawkes21
Full transcription of this Interview:
Andrew Bracewell: This is the podcast that finds the most elusive people everyday. Amazing kind that you know nothing about. I'm hunting these people down and exposing their beauty to the world. I'm Andrew Bracewell, and this is every day. Amazing.
Curt Derksen: I don't want to give them what's left of me. I'm gonna give him the best of me.
Andrew Bracewell: I am both nervous and excited. Maybe even more nervous than excited because of the individual who's sitting across from me today. Curt Derksen. Welcome to the podcast. Thanks for having me, Phil. It is absolutely my pleasure. I'll Ah, I'll start with that. I'd like to start things with confessions sometimes. And so Ah, the reason that I'm nervous is because you and I actually do this all the time. And the only difference is is today we're doing it with microphones in front of our faces.
Curt Derksen: Yep, True that. And a whole bunch of people that might hear it.
Andrew Bracewell: And a whole bunch of people that might hear it a little bit. And so, no, no, There won't be any editing. We're only doing we're only doing it in the raw. But what I have Thio say in admit and this is part of the reason why I'm so excited and and yet nervous at the same time is that there's been a number of times in the last couple years that you and I have spent late nights together Ah, out on the patio or the porch or in the backyard and I drive home from that experience where I walk inside my house and I say to myself, that has to be one of the best conversations in the history of mankind. Somebody needs to be recording this. That was amazing. That was life giving, and it was incredible. So, um, well, the feeling is mutual. You're making me blush a little bit. Well, I'm not I'm not trying to make you bless. So So this morning is that was getting ready. Ah, the nervous thoughts that came into my mind Where Andrew, don't screw this up. Just be natural. Let it flow, Do what you do And you guys are gonna have a great time. So I am truly excited to ah to have you sitting across from me and in keeping with our tradition that we've tend to have, whether it be through intent or not, we are sipping bourbon. Well, we Well, we talked to one another, and it should be noted for the audience that it's roughly 10. 30 in the morning. Won't say where we are. You know where that is. But we're not driving. We're actually in my living room, and we're Ah, we're gonna We're gonna do bourbon together because that's what we do. Brings out the best and the conversation seems to feel I have a question for you, actually on that on that topic. Good. Do you think so? Neither of you. Neither you or I has educated enough to probably intelligently answer this question, But let's try to do it together anyway. What do you think alcohol does to you in conversation? What is it doing? Your brain does it open you up? Does it shut you down? Speak to that a little bit because you and I have have had lots of alcohol into his conversations.
Curt Derksen: Yeah, that's a good question. So I think about it often, actually, because it depends on a few things for me. Circumstances of my Dave, my own body chemistry, food that's on board. Kind of where I'm at emotionally, but often what it will do is it will help me come grounded in present in the moment. And then I can just be really some of my inhibitions or concerns of just being vulnerable out of subside. And then I could just be fully engaged in the moment. And it opens up some amazing opportunities for, like, we had some really cool conversations that you just feel like you're connected with somebody.
Andrew Bracewell: So again, it's funny that we're having this conversation because we're probably not fit to have the conversation properly because we don't actually know what's going on in the body chemistry. Maybe we do a bit, but do you think that it takes us out of a current state of reality and allows us to get into a different space that therefore then opens up conversations that we otherwise wouldn't be ableto have, or how do you think that works? I think
Curt Derksen: it's for me. Anyways. It's more just about some of the barriers coming down, like my own inhibitions, as far as like, maybe I won't say that right now, because he may be. He'll think something weird of me or whatever, and that is just kind of gone and then You just got to get into a flow. Almost. You just let it be. Some people can probably do it easier without alcohol. And I can definitely do it without I'll call as well. But I just find that regardless of what my circumstances are during that day, it will help the be present.
Andrew Bracewell: Yeah, it goes without saying that this certainly isn't an endorsement of that. You course you need alcohol in orderto have real authentic conversation. Well, I mean, usually before nine. I'm onto my second little bit. Delete today. Yeah, I know. It just so happens that, you know, you and I have spent a lot of time together, but we have this great history of incredible conversations late at night. Well, while sipping on bourbon. So in keeping with our tradition, we're doing that this morning and, ah, you know, here's to us doing it one more time to choose. Um, So hey, I want to introduce you a bit to the audience, and I wanna give you the platform, and I want to let you know, tell us who you are, where you came from in a bit of your stories. So, um, I want to give you the platform. I'll I'll say that. You know, you're a guy who's married with three kids and you live in Abbotsford and you sell real estate. But maybe, um, I'll let you go from there. Take it over and away. You go.
Curt Derksen: Okay. Not originally from atmosphere to grow up in Kelowna, just outside of Kelowna. And I was the oldest of three kids. Never thought that I would be anything to do with sales. That just wasn't my cup of tea. I volunteered in Cairo, Egypt, for a year, and I went to school in Alberta and went to school and Abbotsford and again, real estate was never on my radar. I had some experiences, met some people, read some books when I was in university at the University Fraser Valley that started just giving me a paradigm shift, challenging the way I thought opening up my mind to different possibilities and reading different perceptions, really, And so that led me to real estate, and I got to the place where I feel like it's actually a really good fit for me, and so it just I've grown a lot as a human and a lot of really great things have come as a result of had good opportunities to connect with and serve people and and create a cool life for my family
Andrew Bracewell: and your your family just to catch everybody up. You're married for how many years?
Curt Derksen: So my wife, Michelle, we've been married since 2008. So 11 years at this 110.11 and 1/2 years we have three Children going. His eight. Thailand is six and Norris for. So we are in the full on chaos of all that is young families and loving it. We actually actually feel like we're kind of emerging out of like treading water, but mostly being underwater and coming to a place where I feel like I spend more time with my head above water than below. Which is a refreshing feeling. I think Michelle would say the same thing. I know she would.
Andrew Bracewell: Oh, there'll be parents out there listening to this, nodding their head guy. I understand. Well, yeah, but I already means
Curt Derksen: once you're a parent, you you get it. You don't really know what chaos is until I mean, everybody has different levels are different kinds of chaos. But as a parent. The chaos that you deal with condense?
Andrew Bracewell: Yep. I want to circle back to your You alluded it eluded to your university experience and how you're said your mind started to shift. You started thinking different ways. What were you What were you studying in university? And then what kind of experiences did you have that started to, you know, shift the way you were investigating the future of your life?
Curt Derksen: I'd probably back it up even a little bit further before that, because I went to school and I went to three different schools. Three different postsecondary education institutions, one including a one in Calgary, then one in Abbotsford. And when I went in Kelowna, I was playing on the men's soccer team there, and my experience was mostly just about playing soccer. When I went in Calgary to that school, I was playing basketball, and my experience was mostly based around basketball. So what I was actually getting out of my studies was only what I needed to in order to keep their to this city there. But I didn't enjoy it. The studies that I was taking wasn't really for me. It was more typical like what you would do in high school. You just kind of jump through the hoops after both of those experiences. That's when I went to Egypt, and I just I went on a trip. Michelle, my wife is from there.
Andrew Bracewell: Yeah, So this this was a FEMA female inspired this year. Go to E
Curt Derksen: Exactly. She she lived there for 12 years, and so it was
Andrew Bracewell: a noble, noble reason. It's totally well, yeah, get in with
Curt Derksen: the family, show that I'm actually good shit and then we
Andrew Bracewell: can see where it goes from. There
Curt Derksen: it was You got to go to Egypt and I fell in love with you. We're just on a tourist trip at that point were there for three weeks, and I fell in love with the opportunity and actually the opportunity that I sought to basically connect with and served Sudanese refugee kids. And so when I came back from Egypt, actually dropped out of school is supposed to be going for my second semester, but it was okay because the first semester was when we had soccer and the second semester soccer season wasn't going on so I could drop out. It was totally cool actually went back to the rigs at that point. Julian Reason, Northern Alberta paid off some debt, save some money and then went to Egypt. And so when I came back, Thio Canada So was in Egypt for a year when I came back to Canada. After that, I went raid in tow. Michelle and I got married, and then I wouldn't read into the University of Freezer Valley and started slitting kinesiology. And so kinesiology is the study of the human body in the human body in motion. And I always played sports and was active and trained pretty fit. And so getting into kinesiology at you, if he was a different like not only was I now older and mature and I was better because I was engaged in the studies and I kind of had a bit of an end goal and you where I wanted to be, Uh, But this this is what I was actually studying was actually fascinating to me because it was an application with stuff that I already at some core level, understood and new. And so the studies when I got to that position being a little bit older having some life experience studying something that I actually enjoyed. I started thinking differently. I just started, maybe even actually just thinking rather than going through the motions in life. And so I got to the end of my university studies, and rather than pursue kinesiology, I actually might last. I laughed one of my last second or third. Last semester, I started reading some books about investing in real estate. One of the fundamental books for me was the Robert Kiyosaki Bic Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and it's a really basic Michelle and I actually bought that book. We're driving to Remington for, uh, we're going to a family wedding or something out in Edmonton. We bought the book before we left. We read it to each other. At that point, I'm a student at you. If you were renting a condo and Michelle's and nurse just in her first year of practicing as a nurse working at the office for a hospital, we buy this book. We're driving a 2006 black Honda Civic, which was our first car that we got together. We're driving Delbert a reading this book, taking turns back and forth. Read it to each other. By the time we got home back to Abbotsford, we decided that we were going to buy a house. And it was never really on our radar, something that we talked about before. But there was some very simple principles that were like, We're gonna apply this. Our agent at the time was James Armstrong and poor guy. We just We're new to this whole world and didn't have any, like guidance. Really? So we're just like I thought it was the best thing to go and see every possible listing that there was. So we probably actually have a folder with all of the pieces of paper that Jim printed for us. We saw, like, 40 homes.
Andrew Bracewell: You were the client from hell,
Curt Derksen: right? Exactly. We totally he was just a happy go lucky love to just super social love to be with us and tell stories. And so we just saw everything that we could see anyways, So we go from living in a condo that we're renting to buying a house and within like, six months, you buy this house, I'm in university, still full time. Michele's working at this point. I'm working at Great West Fitness, that gym in town. I'm a personal trainer and or I'm studying to be a personal trainer on top of the other things that come along with kinesiology. And so I'm working at the gym studying, and we bought this house and I started renovating the basement. So we bought it without a sweet, renovated the basement, put a sweet and illegal suite, and then we lived in the basement and rented out the upstairs for the 1st 2 years. And so this was kind of like our problem at this point. I wasn't planning on being a realtor. I just had the idea from Robert if we use what we have, and we can actually make it work for us rather than paying somebody else's rent, and that's kind of where it all started.
Andrew Bracewell: You were putting into action what you had read, and you were You were living it out
Curt Derksen: exactly, and by time we actually got the living in that basement suite. We were little. We were living for less money. We're paying less money to live in our own house. Then we would have been paying rent it this other, and it was our own house. It was our own basement, so
Andrew Bracewell: I want to circle back to something. Um I don't wanna miss over something. Miss out on something that could be good here, and I don't even know. I can't remember the exact dates. I know. You know, I have discussed this before, but when you were in Egypt, you were involved in a fairly significant accident. Was that Is that pre marriage or when? What does that
Curt Derksen: was? Yes. So that was March of 2000 and six, sort to March of 2008. And so Egypt was quite significant for me. Like not only was I in a situation that I would have never imagined before on several occasions I went to Egypt playing spy before Egypt had always played sports. Never got hurt, never broke a bone, never been in an accident. Never had anything bad happen versa. Master, I'm playing basketball against one of the students that I was working with. One of the refugees on the run. He was a moth, was like six foot nine, like he was a full grown human, like there's a whole side story here, if they often will when they when they come into, like so with a lot of the Sudanese living in in Cairo have refugee status, but they're not like in a refugee camp. They're just like in the shit mix with the Egyptians. And so there's a lot of differences between the Sudanese and an Egyptian like very, very different from the Sudanese air, not overly accepted in a lot of a large part, like they come and they don't have income potential. They can't work the speak different languages. They're not overly accepted. So there's like this massive problem of the Egyptians not loving the Sudanese and not I'm generalizing a little bit. But as a general rule, like the general person on the street is not overly excited that the Sudanese were there because they're just an extra burden, like we would be here like it was an extra burden on our society. Totally. It's not to the fault of the Sudanese. It's just the reality anyways, so I'm playing basketball games, this massive guy who says he's 17 but he's probably 35 he's probably older than I was just a monster. I drive the whole and I do a lay up and I came to the end of the Congo like end of the corpse in a concrete corner at the end. There's a little drop off when I rolled my ankle and broke my foot and I've never broken anything before. And so I walked. We walked everywhere. I was like a volunteer at the time, so I have $0 to my name. You could take a taxi everywhere you go, and it doesn't cost very much, but I don't even have enough money to do that. I'm just a volunteer. So I walked everywhere, so I walked for like, three days around Madi. That's the part of Cairo where we were on a broken foot before I went to the doctor and got X rays and sure enough got casted. So the first semester I was in a cast for like and Weeks came home at Christmas, proposed, went back to
Andrew Bracewell: Egypt and then just fit in all the things that really all the things that
Curt Derksen: proposed Christmas. We're getting married that summer, July and go back. And then that spring break, Michelle came over to visit, to hang out with me there for a couple weeks and I got into a car accident. I was on a bicycle. First semester. I walked. Then when I had a broken foot, it was hard to walk. So I got a bike and was riding around. Well, trafficking Cairo is make noon. That's like Arabic for crazy, like it is mental. It's probably one of the least safe places in the world to drive. At one point, I remember hearing that there was something like 90 related traffic deaths per day in the city of Cairo. It like it's just absolutely traffic laws don't apply. They aren't there aren't any. And so I had this brilliant idea that I was gonna write a bike. I wasn't wearing a helmet, and I went to a soccer practice that I was coaching with a bunch of the Sudanese kids, and I'm riding back, and it's kind of like dusk getting to the end of the day, and it's the end of the week. So Friday's air the beginning of their weekend. So it's like a Thursday night at dusk. Everybody's getting out of town toe, go home or whatever. I'm trying to ride across traffic and I get to this mad Dan like a roundabout, and this should be like probably three lanes of traffic all the way around the Madan. But this was there's probably five, and so it's super busy. There's one traffic cop kind of directing, making sure that there is a flow. But it's just chaos. And so in the chaos, if you want to like yet anywhere you have to be aggressive. So whether you're walking or riding a bike or driving, if you don't go, then you'll stand forever and you're not.
Andrew Bracewell: You're not going to Israel. You go
Curt Derksen: where you don't where you stay. And so I decided to make a quick second approached the the Madden, and I made a quick decision that I was gonna give her. I was going to get across this Smith Dan and I got past the 3rd 1st 3 vehicles, and what I didn't see was that there was another vehicle on the inside that was cutting really tight, coming quick. And so I got past the 1st 3 you got to the fourth. I didn't see him and oh shit and right there he his I remember, and I actually nightmares about it for a while, but I remember the hood of his car hitting me on my left leg. And I always thought, being athletic, that if I got into that situation you like, I would Spider Man this shit out of this
Andrew Bracewell: situation. I would totally like, come out like his movies. Air rial. I know, right? I was complete.
Curt Derksen: I would be like a cat. I would land on my feet. No issues. That's not what happened. I, um, cranked on front and rear brakes went up on the front. Well, the front wheel actually, like mangled completely, just from the my weight and the impact of the car and the bike went underneath the car, and I went over the handlebars and landed on the pavement. Luckily, just passed his car on and close enough to them center of the Madonna, where there is no other vehicles coming, have landed on my face first on my chin, then on my nose broke off. Three of my teeth, destroyed my nose, big cuts over my chin, and it was a bloody mess. I blacked out for a second, came through, came to brought up, grab my bike from underneath the car, and when sat down on the curb and my whole face was just on fire and blood was just gushing. And I looked up and I never seen a traffic cop being in front of the car. Traffic stopped and a couple people came over to see if I was OK. And by the time I looked up again, traffic was flowing in. That car was gone. He probably paid off the guard and was done. It was the end of it.
Andrew Bracewell: Wow. So I had I had an equally traumatic accident in my life. I've heard your
Curt Derksen: story. It might be more traumatic.
Andrew Bracewell: Yeah, well, I'm just different. Just different. And something I experienced Waas, uh, I had, like, significant nightmares for I want to say, intense at first for the first year yet where, On a weekly basis, multiple times was waking up in sweats, reliving what happened? Yep. And then, um, you know, doing my level best to control it with drugs in a healthy and unhealthy way. And then, uh, you know, it dissipated over time, but it probably years to completely, you know, leave my memory as I was trying to sleep. Yeah, is that Did you have anything like that. Yeah, probably.
Curt Derksen: Why I never had. I was never medicated. Um, even being in Cairo, having those procedures done, there really wasn't a lot of medication that was given their very afraid, being an Islamic country, they're very afraid of, uh, drug dependency. So it was more tough it out and and deal with it. And so being that all of my primary care was there, I was in the hospital there for a few days at couple surgeries there. All my teeth I worked in my teeth was done there. There was no medication. But I do remember for a significant period of time having waking up in having sweats, being afraid, I was afraid. The first time I got back onto a bike. There's a lot that kind of came with it, but one of the best parts that came from that whole experience. And there's this one moment, this one, maybe evening. More than a moment is captured in my brain better than most of my time in Cairo. So my wife's mom, my mother in law Brenda, was living in Cairo at the time. And so after this accident happened, I actually moved into her place and she kind of was taken care of me. And one night, a boat, maybe a week where the even, maybe even less than a week after the event, the Sudanese kids that I was working with actually came to the apartment where I was staying toe to see me and take care of me. And just just to basically love on me like that was one of like, the most humbling and amazing experiences that I've had, because you're my this like, blond haired, blue eyed Canadian guy who's going over there to, like, serve the needy. That was kind of like my programming, and they came to, like, take care of me. They came to love on me. And so there was, like, 30 of them that piled into this little apartment like these monstrous kids that are like six toe six foot five and well ranging in age from probably 25 all the way down to 12 and they just it piled in the elevator. They came up the series. We're on the 10th floor and they just, like, came and just sat with me for like hours. And it was the connection that I had with them afterwards was amazing. And it was like, the for the first time, we connected on a different level. So really cool.
Andrew Bracewell: So let's jump back to university now. Kinesiology? Yep. You've had an experience of smashing your body to pieces of an accident. You're learning about the body. You've You've told me many times you're fascinated with with the body and how it functions. What fascinates you? Why can you see ology fascinated? Well, how how
Curt Derksen: much weaken accomplish or what we can actually physically do, and how training and preparation can actually expand your capacity. And so these traumatic experiences that I had breaking my foot or smashing my face or know any of the events playing sports, those kinds of things you become aware of, kind of like where your ceiling is and then learn that you can actually push past that house. Some of those traumatic experiences can actually make you better. And then the other part is like the accident was traumatic. But there is a hole like emotional psychological component to it that made me better. I'm better because of the pain that I went through. And so that's that's really intriguing. That fascinates me. That weaken actually learn from these experiences and you can apply that. I think you can apply the same principles of that kind of like growth. And if you apply the same principles to anything that you do, you actually have an opportunity to become better at. You know, any avenue business, for instance, like I've been in this business now have been in real estate since 2012 and I haven't done anything different than I've done in every other part of my life. Like I learnt your intentional you grow. You surround yourself by the right people that are doing what you want to do. You borrow from them until you can kind of make your own way and then implement and change and start to recognize kind of your own authentic voice and pay attention to that beast. That's been my journey. I feel like I've borrowed from others until I get to a place where I could be comfortable in my own skin and then kind of go on my own from there.
Andrew Bracewell: So were you born with the Greek god body that you have or did you have to build
Curt Derksen: it, built it. No, I don't. I don't think that's entirely true. I think that
Andrew Bracewell: what? That you're a Greek god or that you have.
Curt Derksen: Of course, Greek. God is true. But
Andrew Bracewell: you realize that I that I'm asking this question not for myself, but for the masses that are listening that want to know. Is that a gift from God? It occurred. Build that. And how do I get it?
Curt Derksen: Yeah, I I I definitely worked hard at my body and I have my whole life and I've always been active, and I've been careful what I eat and what my nutrition looks like. And not to say that I don't have ice cream or, you know, my treats of choice. Those things happen. It's just a moderation. And then the majority of time, I'm intentional about it. But there is definitely a genetic component like my dad. I trained with my dad when I was 12 years old in our basement, like my dad was, he modeled something for me as faras being active and taking care of his body. And so that is something that is, you know, from a very young age I was playing sports. I was training and maybe my diet wasn't the best When I was a kid is here. I was a kid, but I still you know, at some level there is a genetic component where my dad's activity and it was imprinted upon me What he also modeled so
Andrew Bracewell: well, that is. I mean, that's one of the things that I mean. I admire a number of things about you, but one of the things that I admire about you and have been challenged on it's your habits that you have in your life in the decisions that you have in place Speaking about, you know, specifically the body What you put in what you consume, how you train. I've trained with you before and training with you is not to be taken lightly. It's ah, it's impressive. And I would you know, I don't know. I never knew you when you were 56789 years old But But I've known you recently and I know that you know you you work your ass off for what you have, you can and the world the world thanks you for it because, you know, we get toe take you in it. It's a beautiful thing to take in.
Curt Derksen: I was gonna say you could look at my son because my son, I think, is a pretty much like an identical. He looks a lot like me, but just the way he trains for baskets into basketball right now on the way he trains for basketball is focusing. Commitment to it is would have been the same for me. And I remember my mom telling stories about me sleeping with my soccer ball like I didn't have a stuffy like I slept with my soccer, but like that was what I did. That was my thing. I think that kind of mentality is that's just who I am. And that's who my son is. So,
Andrew Bracewell: so a question that people would probably have is Where do you fit on the on the spectrum of the and it's a large spectrum. The physical fitness, the the diet, the food intake. Do you align with a particular philosophy, or has that shifted for you significantly over time, or what does that look like? I think it's
Curt Derksen: constantly evolving as I try things out, and as technology or science advances and we understand more. But as I trial things for myself, I'd like to just try different things for a while. I get bored, so I switch back and forth from different things. I'm just starting some yoga. I've seen that before, off last year, and I'm enjoying that. There's a whole element of, like mindfulness being aware of my body and exposing the supposing Some of my own kind of internal weakness is that I'm gonna find with yoga. I love hiking, so there's a whole outdoors element connecting with nature. That kind of comes for me from that CrossFit something that I is a kind of style, that I would train for high intensity interval training like condensing a lot of work into a short period of time. Really, it's just it's a lifestyle thing for me, like trying to be active every day, and and the reason that I do it is that I know what I feel like when I when I'm not, and I know how I perform with my family. I perform for work, how I feel about myself. All of those things come when I'm disciplined. When I'm on track and I'm eating well and I'm resting well and I'm training for equally. I can do better at life, and I wanted you will, though,
Andrew Bracewell: so your physical routine has evolved quite drastically over time. What have you done with the food element and the calories you're consuming? Has that also drastically changed? Or what does that look like for you? I think
Curt Derksen: it's It's definitely changed. I don't how drastic. Like my fares. Parents didn't feed me shit growing up like we had pretty ballistic recently, well balanced meals as a young 20 something you
Andrew Bracewell: weren't raised on Froot Loops. And
Curt Derksen: oh, there was a capital wasn't every day. But we also don't have the money to have fruits. That's an expensive cereal. So we like. That wasn't something that was That was an extra. I would go to my friend's houses that had more money so that we could have those things. We were maybe Rice Krispies or something. So it's still cereal. But I
Andrew Bracewell: had two of those friends. They were strategic partnerships. Yes, right. It was very important for the enjoyment of elementary school. Totally, totally
Curt Derksen: planning times to go and visit have sleepovers. I don't have a few too and I frequently went to their place will significantly more times than they came to mind. And that was orchestrated by this guy.
Andrew Bracewell: That's intelligence. That's right. What that is
Curt Derksen: right is adapting exactly next stage of evolution. So being married to Michelle, though Michelle has been instrumental for sure in having healthier, more balanced food, I don't ever have to think about going to the grocery store like sometimes all a go and help her out. But for the most part, like she plans meals there's always have are for fridges were very lucky. Your fridge is always full, There's always good choices, healthy options. And so a big part of it is just not having the shit options available. Lot of the stuff that when it is
Andrew Bracewell: in the
Curt Derksen: house, I still consume it. But having as little of that around, it's possible. But I
Andrew Bracewell: find this
Curt Derksen: so this is probably comin from a lot of people, but for me, especially like there's a very big correlation when I'm active and I'm disciplined, you know, conscious about like doing the activities, having exercise, hiking, walking, exercising all those things, my diet, like I just tend to want to be more intentional about my diet. I don't take in as much crap because it just I want to make sure that I'm fueled properly. But I also
Andrew Bracewell: feel
Curt Derksen: good. And so when I feel good, then I want to keep that ruling
Andrew Bracewell: totally. It's not chicken and egg thing, that that vicious cycle that has no answer to it. But when you when you're physically taking care of yourself, you're more inclined to put the right things in. And then when you get into a space where you're not, which it's important to have those those spaces to to to take a break, it's much easier to fall into a trap of all. Eat that bag of potato chips or I'll do that. I'll do that, which I think is also healthy to take time for for sure. But I I can identify that with that completely
Curt Derksen: for me, that the control part comes back when, like I can control it better if I was gonna say him off the wagon, okay? And I'm not exercising and I'm eating shit, and that maybe happens for Noah periodically throughout a year, a couple times where I have a week or two or three year a month When I'm just not engaged and not taking care of myself, I get back on back on track by exercise. And when I exercise intentionally, then I can. The food component just comes naturally for me, like it just it falls into line when I'm when I am working when I am training,
Andrew Bracewell: that's an interesting thought. I would wonder if if a pole could be taken. I would bet that some people would be the exercise first to get back and some people would be the food first step. Get back, I think Absolutely. And I actually wonder now that we're talking, I think I'm a food first person because when I eat shit and feel like shit, there's, like, no fucking way. Yeah, I'm going out and, you know, lifting weights or whatever. So for me, I think it's the opposite. I think you know, if I get the right food and then all of a sudden I feel better. Confidence changes. Not so foggy in the brain. Okay? I wanna go left, right. We'll run.
Curt Derksen: Yeah, I think anybody that has any kind of tendency towards a distortion on their food it's it's a it's a difficult thing. And if you are in a boat, a rut burn, extended period of time and you're you of food is distorted, then it's that much harder, actually, Turn it around. And those people would probably be the similar to you. That
Andrew Bracewell: and that's me. I had my food journey in my life. You know what I was, um you know what? I was handed in terms of food, intelligence and habits as a child and then and then not to put the blame on, you know, how I was raised on my parents. But then even what I did for myself in my early adult formative years, I mean, I developed incredibly terrible habits and bad belief systems around food, and some of it was just ignorance, you know, lack of education. And so then when I made a change and I didn't want to be a diabetic in my twenties, it was the food thing where the battle was won and lost. I always I was an athlete as a child, you know, I played basketball, I played hockey, all of those things. But then when you feel like shit and you don't have energy. You actually can't even be athletic anymore. So for me, the battle is always won and lost in the kitchen and then even to this day, to get back on track. For me, it's a food thing before it's Ah, it's a physical thing,
Curt Derksen: but that that probably makes sense compared to like your your family. It was modeled for you and for me, how it was modeled with my dad. My dad was training when my dad is 5 to 10 and when I was young, he was like to 40 like just a beast, just a beast. And he would consume like he'd sit down and have a dozen eggs like he just was constantly like in taking proteins and just intentional about lifting, benching over £300 squatting like ridiculous numbers and leg pressing £1000 that was that was that was what he did.
Andrew Bracewell: Wow. And you had that model for you
Curt Derksen: exactly. And I took part in it like, Yeah, I remember being 12 like we just sold our family home this last year, and I remember I have one of the some of the weight sets that we used when I was a kid and I would my dad and I would train that in the basement 23 times a week like that's what we did together. So that's obviously because that's ingrained in me. That's my default. And Michelle, my wife, who lives in the same house, is me. Would be food similar. More similar to you. Be food First exercise kind of falls in line when her food and nutrition is where it needs to be
Andrew Bracewell: right. Let's switch gears for a bit. Ah, you've alluded to Michelle and your kids and your family a number of times and families. Big topic. But let's first dive into your immediate family, your wife and kids. How has being a father, a husband and a father? And as that's evolved, how is that changed particular philosophies in your life about how you approach work or how you approach this last topic we've been talking about, You know, the major topics in life. If you look at your life in last, say 8 10 years, what major evolutions have you come through in terms of the way you think, and how will you approach things
Curt Derksen: before I got married. I would have told you that I am not selfish like I'm not a selfish human Like I'm other focused like I Mother Rish. Right? And then I got married and living cohabiting with someone When human makes you realize that actually, I was pretty selfish. And then if after a little while, I figured out like, you know, I I can do this, I could be married. I'm not that selfish anymore. I've learned I've grown and then we had kids and it was like, That's a huge time. Suck like you love those little buggers, but like it's a huge time. Suck on. I realized once again how selfish I actually am. And so now, three kids later in a wife, later that that I feel guilty for a while about this selfishness that I had. And I saw the pendulum kind of swing far from feeling like I wasn't selfish to then feeling like I was really selfish and that beating myself up and that's a common theme for me in my own head is beating myself really hard on myself. But feeling guilty about it being guilty and shame even around this idea that I was selfish. And then now the pendulum kind of swinging back, probably more towards center. And I'm realizing that, like, I can't Well, you everybody's heard this idea of you get on a plane And this flight attendant says if we you know, we lose pressure in the cabin, the masks fall down. You got to take care of yourself. Put yours on first. If you can't take care of yourself, you can't help someone else. And so the guilt and shame slid me into this pattern with young Children and a wife that was dealing with postpartum depression. And you know, her own journey, her own process for body being literally ripped apart him and trying to put it back together and not being able to do what she did before All all the psychological and emotional trauma that happens happens as a result of trying to raise these little humans being completely sleep deprived. We've kind of both now come to this place where it's like, Well, if I don't take care of me, then I can't be the best version of me for my family. And if I can't be the best version of me for my family than what am I setting them up
Andrew Bracewell: for now we're into the meat of what I want to talk about. It takes a
Curt Derksen: little while to get here, but we're here now.
Andrew Bracewell: We've arrived. We worked into a lather. How does it go on? He needs more bourbon and he'll be good. So one of the things if not the thing that I both admire about you the most, but also worry about you the most is you are the most self sacrificing human in my life that I'm aware of which I love and admire about you. But then when I observe you in life circumstances, where others around you, whether it be family or not, family experienced tragedy. You are throwing yourself in front of the bus, metaphorically speaking, or people. And you and I have talked about this before. And one of the things that it doesn't me is when I've watched you, either in that, in your space is a father or a husband is Eiko. Holy shit. I'm not doing enough like I'm watching what Curt's doing, and that's unbelievable. And I just need to be I got to be more like hurt. Yeah, But there's two edges to that blade, and the other edge is that you're throwing yourself in front of that bus and you're getting run over and run over and run over. I want to hear you talk about that a little.
Curt Derksen: You can only run over so many times, right? Like you kind of ball down and get back up and learn a little bit from it. And so I went back to my accident like I learned something from that event, like I got knocked over and life is like that. It continues to knock us over. And so the the Pro is that I care about people, and I do what I can in the people that I love. Know that I love them and I would do anything for them. But then there becomes a point where you also take on burdens beyond you take on. You start picking up people's burdens when they don't even want you to pick up their burdens, and it's actually not serving them the way I intend to serve them, like I'm trying to just help. But it's actually not being received like that. It actually comes across as almost being like this air against like you can't do it. Let me do it for you, Massa. Not my intention, but I kind of ran into this wall, and I think the business that I'm in is really great for that. It's helped me ro and become aware because my default and my mom is like This is well, my default is just to do everything for everybody. But then you burn yourself out. And so the business being coming into people's lives and seeing their circumstances and seeing that there is need and there's opportunity to help but learning of the line of what's actually appropriate and what's their responsibility and what you're actually have to constantly remind myself that doing something for someone else is actually robbing them. Often it can rob them of the experience or some of the experiences that I've had. And so in my brain, that's what I've had to do is actually like Helen myself. But I'm actually taking away from them, even though I'm trying to help them. I'm actually taking away from them and it's like a selfish thing, really, cause I'm learning toe, not pick up other people's rocks and put him in my backpack. Yeah, I'm learning that like it's their job to carry their rocks. And sometimes people's rocks there they're back back is so heavy that they need an extra hand but learning that line of like, what's appropriate and what's not for the sake of their growth, in their own development, in their own life, like their life, but also for mine, because it takes away from my ability to, like, get the most out of this life and beauty there for my kids and wife. Okay,
Andrew Bracewell: there's a lot here that I don't want to miss out on this. There's there's two routes I want to go down and you you touched on one of them that I want to circle back to. And that's the how does this play out in your in your business? You're in the personal service industry and you're dealing with human needs Sometimes that are incredibly selfish. So I will go there in a sec, but I want to go to family tragedy. You've experienced a few things. We don't have to get into all of them, but I've observed you in your immediate family with with one of your brothers and your dad talk about either one of those circumstances, whichever one you want. Yeah, And in the context of this conversation and and what you've had to wrestle with it. So maybe give us some background.
Curt Derksen: I feel like families like a different level for me. Like I I'm so in my business. I started off carrying everybody like they were my family, and I love everybody that I work with, and then I get to help. But I also need to draw a line somewhere of who I actually can carry stuff for and who I can't. That line is easily muddied, but my family side were going through. My dad has been 61. He's been diagnosed with dementia, and it's been going on for probably a handful of years undiagnosed. But we've been watching subtle changes, and it's really freaking hard. Man like this is heavy. Like, this is really heavy. This is not something that you, uh this is what I trained for. Actually, this is why I train. I train in life to be able to be in these kind of situations and be someone that helps and not be someone that's a burden by taking care of my own shit. I can help you situations. And so my parents are going through bar none. The hardest period of their lives. My dad's unfortunately, less his capacity and awareness is decreasing by the day, and there's nothing that we can do about it. There's nothing that anybody could. There's no a pill to take. There's not a lifestyle change. It's like the damage is done. And we're just like on this train to this point. And so there is a lot that my mom carries. There's a lot that my dad has lost, and there's a lot that I try and carry because my mom is. Her bag is so full that she's like she's treading water and having a hard time keeping your head above. And so I I have been for the last couple of years, probably longer than that, But intentionally right now and going forward, I'm going to be there with her in the water, helping her carry her back. And I could do that only because I take care of myself because I make sure that I sleep and I rest and I have time for me to do what I like. And I have time with my family where I can be engaged, and that gives me joy in life and exercise like those air. If I don't have those things sorted out, then if my mask isn't on, then I can't help my mom. Yeah, and so I I work on making sure that I have things put together in my life. And then obviously there's That's just one area of my life that's not that's just one thing, like there's still work and all the burdens that come with all these different people in their different situations and circumstances. But it for me fundamental piece comes back to taking care of myself. And so my journey this coming up this year into, uh, understanding myself better so I could be more authentic person of have a better understanding of myself, be more authentic in who I am, and then not have some of the extra stress is that come from trying to please other people or impress other people, take care of myself, be authentic? Then I can serve and be there for the people that mean the most to me.
Andrew Bracewell: So as you're in this maze of dementia with no clear path it with your dad. What is the And you're in it. You're not through it. I mean, you're you're living it right now. What is the messaging that needs to be out there that you've had to dig and find on your own? But what people need to hear if they're in the space that you're in right now?
Curt Derksen: Well, I think this is like all the things that I'm trying to practice right now is what I'm learning. Self care is of the utmost importance, like understanding your the way you tick, accepting who you are, not trying to please other people or perform to satisfy other people's expectations, saying No when you need to say no to something when you know that it's too much making sure that you get proper sleep
Andrew Bracewell: because let me interrupt for a second because the need within the context of dementia, like with the person that's being affected by it, the need is so blind to other people's needs, right percent like it has the ability just to be the most selfish state it becomes, and it's not. The person's wrongdoing is a black hole. It's completely out of control so that if you're around that, everybody also have the barriers up. You can get sucked in, and before long, you know, there's nothing of yourself that that's accurate. 100% Yeah,
Curt Derksen: but that's true of everything in life, right? That that is true, like especially for someone with personally like mine where you tend to. I want to be liked and I wantto do a good job for people. And I want I want to feel I feel fulfillment, and I feel significant when I feel like I've done a good job in somebody's a little bit better today or their financial situation's a little bit better because of on investment that I helped them with or you know they got really will take care of as we sold their home or whatever, no matter where you go. If you're not able to be fundamentally strong and who you are an authentic in yourself, take care of yourself, then you can easily get swayed. You lose your ability to be objective and then you get pulled into other people's shit. I want to be there to serve and honor my parents through this journey that they're on, not at the cost of my own sanity, nor the cost of my family. And but I'm also not willing to just I guess one way I could do it is be like, Well, no, hands off, like you deal with it and I'm busy with my own shit. I don't I don't want to be that person either. I want to be able to be engaged, developed that relationship, support them, love them, honor them as they go through this trialling Tyr trying time.
Andrew Bracewell: I'll switch gears a little bit. Something that's been said about you is that Curt is one of the most playful fathers ever. And what I observe in you with your kid's eyes absolutely true. You know, I I agree with that statement. Where does that come from? Your desire to be engaged with your Children when given an opportunity?
Curt Derksen: I think it comes from a couple of places. One. I just actually really love them, And I would just love playing with um, like I love it gives me joy to see them laugh. Like Nora is four and five times a day. Right now, she says, Daddy wrestle. Let's wrestle like a soon as I get in the door of the end of day. She's, like, wrestle first thing she said to me this morning when she came down the stairs. Danny, let's go wrestle like it gives her joy, and that makes me happy. That fills my tink. The other parties have a hard time even saying no to her like she's
Andrew Bracewell: okay, so I want it. I'm gonna I'm gonna play Devil's Advocate in this conversation.
Curt Derksen: Give her because I see you sitting,
Andrew Bracewell: I I'm a dad. I got three kids and not Devil's Advocate. That's the wrong way to structure the statement. But what I observe in you with your Children I have to work so hard, Tim Manufacturer in my own relationship. And let's just set the record clear on something. I love the shit out of my kids. I think the world rises and falls on the shoulders of my son when he's playing soccer or my eldest daughter when she's leading a musical or my youngest daughter, when she's just kicking ass in gymnastics like I think there unbelievable. But when I walk through the doors of the house and I compare that to when you walked through the doors of the house. I go, man shit. Like I don't have that natural instinct to wrestle. My natural instinct is I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I'm worn out. Shit, kid, give me space like a fuck. I can't. You know, I just can't. I'm not done yet. And so I wonder like, so is that thing that you have that I, by the way, fucking admire the shit out of you. Is that again? Are we talking nature nurture? Is this a d n? A thing? Is this AA thing that you've worked towards? What's your what's your take on that?
Curt Derksen: I think it's the nature nurture question is complicated. And I think it's both, like, I think that at some level, that's just who I am. Like I remember being 12 and playing. We went to church as a kid and I remember, like playing with other younger kids and just making them laugh, chasing them, playing tag with them, picking up and running with them like I remember them like just howling with laughter and feeling like excited and joy filled. And part of it was that I remember how much it meant to the parents at that time that I was engaged with their kids and how much fun they're kids had and how much they're. Those kids looked up to me and how much fun we had together. Like I that that part just is that's just a part of who I am. I remember that. Yeah, I get home at the end of day and I'm tired, too. And as cute as my kids are sometimes chasing, I get home in. Nora Bellis is Dad chased me. Colin in Thailand will come and jump on me for hugs
Andrew Bracewell: her pursue me, man pursued.
Curt Derksen: So Nora will, like, come close and give me, like, a little bit of a little stare, little smirk, hide behind the pillar and then run away. And so sometimes chasing her isn't what I feel like doing. But when she gets laughing like I get home and I'm exhausted and I don't feel like chasing her, but she starts laughing at, I just kind of fall into it. I just give in. And I think at some level I just like, turn my brain off of what I actually want to do in that moment and just be who she wants me to be. Because I know that I've been away from her all day and I might only have a now hour or two hours or three hours with her before she goes to bed. And so I just kind of like gear down, find another gear and give them what I have left and try and make it the best of what I've given all day, even if it's for five minutes or 10 minutes. Because usually I can play with them for 20 minutes. Tops five minutes, 10 minutes and they're like they're good, They're tanks are full, they're ready to move on to the next thing, but at some level it's like it's inside of me. But another part of it is it's a choice. You're making an injection of choices so that I want to give. I don't want to give them the left of me. I'm gonna give them the best of me,
Andrew Bracewell: and your window is only so big with them
Curt Derksen: and they're so young. You're stages a little bit different to like where your kids were at. Like they make teenagers are different.
Andrew Bracewell: Yeah, yeah, Oh, they're different. Teams are different. Let's just let that resonate through the podcast. Teenagers are different. Um, what's your go to space right now for, um, refueling and given yourself what you need in order to keep going. What's that? What's the thing? Or the space or the habit or whatever that you go to toe to fill yourself up?
Curt Derksen: One of them is we have two dogs right now. Just a whole other conversation. But we have two dogs and I
Andrew Bracewell: want to talk. About what? Just two dogs.
Curt Derksen: Do you want me to get
Andrew Bracewell: divorced? Maybe we should bring with shell into conversation. Ah, we, uh,
Curt Derksen: wanted so one of the places is just getting out on the trails with the dog because we live up in Sandy Hill. He stabs her, and we have great trails that I can get on and just within a five minute walk. And so just getting away from everything and either listening to a podcast or listeningto quiet music or listening thio. My heart listeningto just whatever just being out there. So that's that's constantly something that fuels me. Podcasts are a huge part of my life driving. I spend a lot of time with her on the phone or driving, and so that helps me stay on track and keep focused with the direction that I want my life to go on, what I want to get out of this experience.
Andrew Bracewell: And what's that? What's, Ah, current conversation that you're having in your head right now from something that you're listening to or you learn? What do you What is Curt telling himself right now? In this moment,
Curt Derksen: I've been listening to a guy named Alan Watts, and there's some fascinating stuff that he has to say. But one of the most recent things that I've listened to probably 1/2 dozen times in the last month is talking about. Okay, so let me back up a business planning gold setting for 2020 and I look back on some of the intentions and plan that I put in place some of goals that I had in preparing for 2020. I look back on what I did, what I had set aside for 2019 and one of the things that I said to myself going into 22,019 was that when I wrote it down was that the struggle and the obstacles were going to make me better, that I was gonna become better as a result of those things. And I've So that was what I said the beginning. I started doing this business planning like End of October, which is the earliest I've ever started before. Then, in early November, I started listening to the song called Hell of a Year by Country Artist. I just heard him like, you know, he's an up and coming guy and singing this song, which it's a good listen don't necessarily his circumstances of what he's saying that song about don't necessarily apply to me. But application is in recognizing that it's been a hell of a year. Sure, my dialogue for a lot of this year was just that. It's been a hell for not a lot of this year. For a lot of November, as I'm business planning stuff was like, it's been a hell of a year now I'm gonna feel sorry for yourself. It's been a hell of a year and held the year fast forward Thio Alan Watts the last two weeks listen to this 16 minute, 16 minute segment a number of times, and it's basically talking about dream and how if you have thought, exercise and if you think about it, if you could go to sleep at night and dream absolute pure bliss and you could do that, you dreams in one night you dreamed 75 years like a full life 75 years of nothing but bliss. No hardship, no heartache talking like beaches in Hawaii like mountain Top moments your whole life. 75 years of bliss. This suggestion is you could probably on Lee Dream that dream with absolute pure bliss for like, four or five times of 75 years. Like that's a law that's like 300 years of experience over four nights, pure bliss. Then the next night, you might say, Well, that was really cool, but like a wonder what would happen if I wasn't in full control and some things happened that were a little bit out of my control, and maybe they were good and maybe they were bad, but I didn't really have full control. And so, as you did that for maybe 70 another dream, another dream, another dream like that and you get to the place. And his suggestion is at some point you would get to the place where you are right now and recognizing that you you actually don't have control. But this is where you would want to be if you had the ability to just live pure bliss all the time. And so I've often being in sales, talked and thought of, talked with Michelle and thought through myself, like this idea of what? Mountain top moments, Valley moments? Yeah, mountaintop moments, Valley moments. And when you're in the valley, you come out of it on the other side and you think, Okay, Don't really want to spend too much time in the Valley. But there's lessons that I've learned here, and it's gonna help me appreciate the mountaintop that much more. And so this idea of coming to like where I am right now some way, somehow if I had full control, I would probably choose to be here totally if I could live in pure bliss like some of some of the challenges, some of the obstacles. My child didn't sleep last night, you know, my physical bodies eking and I'm in. I'm in pain. My business isn't where I want it to be. I'm not doing some of things. You could focus on those things that you don't have or you could recognize that you should appreciate them, because those are things that you would actually choose if you had pure bliss all the time. Or this because you could only do pure bless for so much to appreciate where you are yet what you can from where you are and keep moving forward.
Andrew Bracewell: We'll bliss. So by definition, bliss can only be considered bliss in relation or comparison to something that is not bliss. If that's all you have now we're getting deep. Okay? We're probably not acquit equipped to have this conversation, But let's go for it. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like you, we think in comparison. So So that that makes a lot of sense to me.
Curt Derksen: Death in life. Yeah, you're alive, and you appreciate being alive because you're aware of the absence. Or like the opposite of young. This being a life,
Andrew Bracewell: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Curt Derksen: That's what I've been fixated on her have been thinking about a lot lately. Like last little while is just as I'm preparing now for this next year and making sure that I really I kind of, like, screwed myself over in the sense that, like I set myself up, I wrote it down. That I was gonna be the obstacles were going to make me better. And as a result, I feel like I had a handful of obstacles and in relation to a lot of people that go through a lot harder stuff than me. This is, you know, this is minor, but this is my journey. This is my process. And so there has been 2019 had quite a quite an unraveling for me in a lot of senses. And those three unraveling has made me more authentic. I just help me have a large desire to be more authentic and identify more clearly who I am and what I want. And then just be that more often, let go of some of this stress and anguish that I create from trying to be something that I'm not be something to please somebody.
Andrew Bracewell: It sounds like one of the takeaways. From what you're experiencing, this conversation you're having in your head is that you have a higher level of contentment about the space You're in 1% and it's funny cause contentment in some circles or in some contacts, people say contempt. Shit. Don't be content, you know, strives, drive, drive, drive, drive. But I think that's actually false messaging for the most part. And that contentment is bringing you something that you didn't have before. And I think
Curt Derksen: it's It's that this idea of, like, contentment in striving it's a pendulum again, like I feel like in so many areas in my life. I've seen these pendulums where you can go one way or the other, and contentment is different than settling and striving can actually burn you out like striving can, actually, if you're okay, So I'm a do er like I do like I fill my time with doing things, and to this point, I'm I am where I am as a result of my getting shit done like I I I commit. I focus, I get after it and I make it happen. But I've also learned the double edge of that this year, that trying to do all the time and not taking time to appreciate and be in the moment and yet from the moment, and be content and express gratitude for where I am will burn me out. So I I read a book earlier this year and I can't think of the title of it right now. But it talked about the idea that there's different kinds of people. And so there are people that are intent or settlers. They'll just stay at the base of the mountain and they'll set up camp and they will get all the amenities and they're super happy just to be there. For sure. This is like the average person average, not in the sense that one's better than the other. Just that things are different. Yeah, so you're you're at base camp and you're happy to be there. And then there's another group of people that will, like climb a little bit above base camp and they'll set up camp, and then that's their home. They're happy to be there. And then there's another group of people that are climbing their whole life, and they spend their whole life trying to get the topic Everest. And so they've climbed to past base camp. They've climbed past the next level past base camp, and now they're like perpetually climbing. Mmm. And it's a matter of figuring out some kind of balance and figuring out what's right for you and for me. This is it's for immutable. Figure out what's right for me, like I default to being a climber who's constantly striving and trying to make things better for me and better for those around me. But I've also learned that climbing all the time, without rest and without, like appreciation and gratitude and and being content with what I have and who I am creates turmoil. Intention that living attention all the time is not not effective. Way to live like we actually only have this minute right now, like this is all we have. And so if this is the moment that we have, being here is what's important.
Andrew Bracewell: That's a great metaphor that that mountain climbing metaphor resonates. Lemme all Shayera on anecdotal thought from my own life. Using that metaphor, I would suggest that to your point earlier, one is not better than the other. Whether you're the settler, the person who has a tendency to go halfway 3/4 the way, all the way life has got all types, and we all fit in somewhere in that. In that spectrum, I think in the current context of our world, there's certain people that get worshipped more than others, right. They fill the spectrum of our social media mediums and outlets. They get presented a particular way in Hollywood or on the news or whatever. And unfortunately, we are often times comparing ourselves to these people on a global level, no longer just comparing ourselves to our own tribe in our own backyards and our own, you know, cities. But we're now comparing ourselves to people who live halfway across the world, and this particular type is held up a ziff. It's something to be pursued or chased or admired or mimicked. And my own personal anecdote or moral to the story as a person who has a tendency to be a climber is that the best thing I can do is find rest and peace at base camp and learned to live in somebody else's space and see the beauty in somebody else's space and be content or be happy or find joy and something that you otherwise wouldn't naturally find Joy and and if you can force yourself to do that. Number one. You don't even you learn how that you don't even have to force yourself. It becomes more natural, and then you can find peace and beauty and and contentment and things that you you otherwise maybe wouldn't have naturally found.
Curt Derksen: I think what you just said, like I remember that as well, in the sense that as as a climber is as a default climber, I feel like I part of the burden that I carry is that I feel like if I'm going, then I should be bringing people with me, and everybody else should want this, too. But that's not truth of it. And so when you can actually recognize that some people are in different places and not try to make them what you think, you should be your weight, want what you think they want to be, just let them be who they are. That's talking before about picking out of people's rocked up in putting in my back back. But that's part of my this year, just like let it go like it's not my job to determine if somebody else is a climber or a settler. if they're content. If they're happy to be a settler than I need to find, I need to, like, be intentional about just calming myself down, matching where they are and appreciating the beauty that they see and just be present. And at that level,
Andrew Bracewell: that's good. Wow, We might have just blown up people's minds with that. I don't know. I mean, was that that was half his deepest. I think it was then, then were incredible. Well, it's all regurgitated. It's all
Curt Derksen: right. It's not new information. This is just like me trying us trying to process.
Andrew Bracewell: Oh, absolutely people's stories. There's nothing new under the sun. No way. We
Curt Derksen: no credit can be taken. This is just where we are right now.
Andrew Bracewell: Absolutely. Okay, let's play a game to fun games. I wanna play. I play these games all the time in my head, and now I just love that I have a microphone and I get to play these games with people. To me, this is like my favorite part. If you aren't who you are today, you're not a dad. You don't have three kids. You're not a realtor, you know you're tied to nothing. What are you? Where you living? What do you amazing at? What's the best cats kept secret about you? What do you wish you could have done had you not just by default landed in the circumstances you're in?
Curt Derksen: I scare myself sometimes thinking about where I would be if I didn't have Michelle. If I didn't have someone to regulate me as like a default climber Achiever? What would I who would I become? What would my life actually look like? Would I be actually happy with who I am As a result of just left to my own vices? And we're talking like I know that I could produce a big income. That's not something that I would be concerned about. I could go on, make a bunch of money, but then, without having something to ground me, a family, a wife, priorities I feel like there's a side of me that would just go off the deep end and live a huge life and make a bunch of money and do silly things that I would wake up alone one day and not have connections or relationships.
Andrew Bracewell: So I was trying to take this conversation in a fund direction. I know. And you just made every female listening swoon over you because and by the way, this is exactly why I had you on the show. Because this is actually the human that you are. I have a really hard time
Curt Derksen: with not taking something to that level. I don't know. I have a hard time. I'm
Andrew Bracewell: not gonna small talk. Actual quotable quote by Curt Jackson I have a hard time not being amazing. Those are your words. Your words, huh? What? Yeah, that's why I wouldn't spend time. I haven't
Curt Derksen: spent time thinking about what I what I would do you? No,
Andrew Bracewell: that's okay. I have a different game. Okay. You can't avoid. Okay? And twist up on me with your with tricks. This is something we've actually talked about before. A little bit. So it's not totally new to you, but we've never gone into in in depth with it. It'll be fun to go in depth. So were you a walking dead guy? Did you watch? No, no, you're familiar.
Curt Derksen: I'm aware of it. Yet you're familiar with. So there's a ton of movies about that kind of thing. So yet,
Andrew Bracewell: so I been like when walking dead came out. Actually, I was late to the game as I am with a number of, but, um, walking dead comes out, the world goes crazy over. People are telling me about it, and I kind of think it's like, stupid. I'm like zombies, not really whatever. And then I start watching it. And my God, did my brain blow up seeing how they had managed to take, you know, real world and combine it with something that maybe is far fetched. But then if you allow your brain to go, maybe not that far fetched and kind of awesome. And then the thing that I love so much about the show and other shows that have explored similar topics is what happens to the human dynamic. When all order is removed, all structure and systems that we adhere to are taken away. And what happens in human beings and tribes were formed alliances, air created, and we're starting from complete scratch. I love that, and I love playing this out in my mind and going who would be my tribe? What would I do? What kind of character ivy, could I be this cold blooded killer who doesn't feel anything. Or would I be the person who gets killed because I've been unable to detach from my humanity and my compassion got me killed. So I want to play this game with you. How does that play out? How do you think? So the person you are today, how do you think you transition into that world? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? What's your go to? How do you form a tribe? Let's let's dig into it.
Curt Derksen: So I haven't seen that show, but something that one movie, for instance, that I feel like I can identify with is I am legend. That's the Will Smith one. And so it's
Andrew Bracewell: totally so totally applicable. Okay, Like completely yet completely. By the way that movie is on,
Curt Derksen: it's amazing. I actually want you again now that I said it, but absolutely it, um I feel like I have this complex like like I would be I feel like I would rock. I've always told myself the narrative in my head is that I would rise up and be that guy I would be Will Smith movie will be elected. I would I would like. I would be the one to make tough decisions. And I would be the one to be physically capable of killing some things and doing what needs to be a large part of like me. Taking care of myself is like, I want to be prepared that if shit goes sideways, my world doesn't blow up in people that I care about Have a chance
Andrew Bracewell: These air Rhea life conversations in the mind of a male, right? By the way, number one superheroes aren't fake their options, things that we can actually be. And if the zombies come, are you ready? Are shits. Gotta remember. So continue. OK, I want everyone here like this is actually a really thing in our
Curt Derksen: brain. I I actually have, like, a plan like my next house is going to be a
Andrew Bracewell: house. I fucking love this where
Curt Derksen: I'm ready for things to go sideways, and I'm not necessarily saying that I'm gonna have a stock of food, but I want to be able to live off the grid. I wantto I want to be ableto have solar panels and I wanna be able to live on septic and well water and whatever be able to be a center, a place where I can survive if things go sideways, you only scare my family and have people be able to come to me, right? And then we figure it out from there. But we have a place up country too, and I've thought often about having Okay, so we have our house that we live off the grid and we have some enough food and garden, and we can kind of survive. Hunting is a component. So I have a few things on my reader. One martial arts is part of this plan for me. Absolutely. Because I need to be able to, like, kick some ass. Yeah, I feel like I'm athletic and physically capable. I could do. Okay, but if I ever came a grace well, a zombie or maybe that was, like, didn't feel pain or someone who was actually really well trained in martial arts I would get my ass kicked, but I want to be better to build hold my own. So martial arts hunting is another part. Like, I just want to be able to do it
Andrew Bracewell: and like and like, survival skills, this lesson this is
Curt Derksen: It's just pure basic. I don't like the sport of hunting Doesn't appeal to me. Maybe if I got into it, it would. But just the idea of being able to like my family needs to eat. I'll need to put food on the table. I want to be the able to have some set of skills that I can do that without losing a child because it took me too long to learn howto Mahanta Nano. So I actually have this whole plan in place and not, like, written down or anything. So maybe it won't come real. But it's in the back of my mind that I want to be physically prepared. And I want to be able to have house our space property where people can come, too. And then we have the place up country to you where she got real sideways in the Lord me, and then we can get out of here. I love it. And the tribe? You asked about a tribe? Yeah.
Andrew Bracewell: Who would be? So you want to know names? Well, no, no, no, no, no. You don't to say names. I don't wanna I don't know what you're looking more than names. I have, like ideas of personality types, personally, so one of the personality types that you would have to surround yourself with, that's a great way to say
Curt Derksen: so personally. Tapes. I also feel like there's rules that need to be played, So there's like a fundamental role of, like caring for humans that get hurt. So a doctor, a scientist, something like that, someone that can actually physically. And my wife is a nurse so she could play a part of that. But I also have friends that are doctors, and I think they would be really valuable assets having someone this and you
Andrew Bracewell: can't be married to an asset. See, that's the challenge. If your spouse is I mean, you know, this is life or death shit we're talking about here. Sometimes, you know, decisions will be made about who's got to go on who can't go. I think I think it complicates things. If one of them one of the assets, I'm just a So obviously you've played out in your mind. You, Cassidy me, I'm only replace relaying what I've seen. OK, some of this stuff is played on my head, but yeah, that could get complicated When, like all of a sudden, you know, your wife is an asset to the group you're in. And then, you know your judgment gets gray because you know, you've got something for this person that you don't have for the other person.
Curt Derksen: Yep. Anyways, continue. Yeah, So there's that whole, like taking care of humans dynamic. There's obviously feeding the humans as I dynamic. There's like defending the humans as, like one of the key pieces. Yeah, so I have, like, handful people in my life. I'm actually really fortunate to have some amazing people in my life, a lot of amazing people in my life. And so there's lost different people that complain. But it's hard to say, like you two wanna actually either, because it depends on where an event happens and how people scatter and who's actually around and available on communication. And I mean, you can just spend all the time thinking now, interesting times, I feel like I would like most guys, I think, rise to the challenge that's in my head. That's my narrative. Like I would be the guy.
Andrew Bracewell: Yeah, Oh, yeah, I totally within that within the male ego. We all have the ability to create this story in our brains where we are. Will Smith, even though we made look nothing talk like that, nothing like Will Smith. But that's that's where our brain goes for sure. Well, as you can tell, I've spent you know, Ah, fraction, amount of time, thinking about this just a little bit. And I take it to space where I look in my in my context of friends and peers and I go like, Who would be like if I had to make a team on the fly? Shit goes sideways. The zombies have come, you know, What would I do? And who would I go to and you would absolutely be. Thanks for on my on my team and ah, and one of the, you know, one of the reasons why I I would find incredible that well, there's There's a number I find incredible value and you your athletic ability, or I mean, that's all That would be an incredible asset in that circumstance. But one of the things that I fear in myself in times of extreme conflict, um, where moral order is lost or or our structure is lost. Is that you know, you referenced. You made a statement. Like, you know, I think you said something like I could get afraid of this in my head. I can get afraid of myself in my head in a context like that, where I think, ah, switch could flip. And I could get pretty cold and pretty dark pretty quick. And so I have an awareness of that. And so in my brain, I go, I'd have to be with Curt. Curt would keep me level. Curt loves mankind. Current is compassionate. Curt is caring. Curtz also an athlete, and he could kick ass. So you're you would be, like, the perfect call. You'd be the yang to my yang. You keep me levels like, you know, I could murder a little bit, but you gotta, like, you know, scaling back a little. So I don't Don't don't kill that much. Just kill a little bit. Thought the women and Children and, you know, it wouldn't it wouldn't be the women and Children. I don't know. I don't know. It's a crazy conversation, but I You're ah, you're in my zombie tribe. Let's let's put it that way, but
Curt Derksen: okay, so do you give me a little bit of lead up on that conversation? But I think that there's also, like, an element of that line of thinking that plays into, like, who? You show up as every day because it's like, a bit of, like, extreme situation for me. Anyways, I think about like, a lot of who I am on a daily basis is like a piece of that and of coming through. Do I think I would be
Andrew Bracewell: interested? Hey, I want to, um, wrap up with a couple things. Number one. The world has now heard you. They've been exposed to Curt Derksen if they haven't been already done. And ah, they're probably blown away. As impressed as I am in the time that I've had getting to know you. Ah, If somebody wants to reach out and find you, how do we Ah, how do we connect with Derksen?
Curt Derksen: Yeah, though I have ah website just Curt Derksen dot com also on social media. Though I only dabble at this point. You may or may not see more of me going forward, but I'm on Instagram at Curt Aid. Derksen and I am on Facebook as well.
Andrew Bracewell: Okay, Sweet. One of the coolest things about this podcast or what I think is one of the coolest things is you know, we dig into the world, find what we consider to be everyday amazing people, and we do what we did today. We get them to share their stories. We bring to light their amazing this and hopefully people are inspired and learn from what we're doing. But what I want to do now is I want to give you the platform for a few moments, and I want you to be given an opportunity to tell our listeners about somebody that you're aware of in your life, who is everyday amazing. It needs to be talked about. So take it away.
Curt Derksen: This is hard. I knew this was Question was coming, so I spent some time thinking about it and a hard time picking one. You said you didn't want family, so that ticks off a number of
Andrew Bracewell: people. Thank you. Now your family's gonna hate me and Ah,
Curt Derksen: what? I'm kind of cheating on that a little bit because the person that I decided that was not in the first ring of family kind of in the next showing of family is ah, Mike Davis. And so Mike Davis is a business owner in Chile back and he is married to my cousin and he has got to be one of the biggest parted humans that I know well. And he's done some ridiculous things in his emotion that I've been there right beside himto help him through. The biggest thing that comes from Mike is just his love for people. And if you are a part of his tribe, he will literally go to the ends to the earth. Well, to prevent bad things from happening to you or from you protect you. There is a period in my life where Michelle and I were broken up and Michelle was going to the clubs with Lindsay, doesn't and they were doing old things that young, beautiful women. D'oh! And Mike was kind of like the big brother that was taken out in care of her, and that was always assuring to me. And there was a time where Michelle got hurt. I was in university first year or two in university, in school, full time, not working at that point Michelle was working at the hospital and she got injured at work, was laid up on the floor for months and are renting. At that point, our fridge was empty. We're living on like lentils and rice and being like just whatever we could to get you. And Mike and Lindsay went and filled our freezer with food like, Whoa, he's just that kind of guy that he goes above and beyond. And that's how he treats everybody. He he owns this iron shop in Jill Walk the partner there. And
Andrew Bracewell: what's the name of the tire shop
Curt Derksen: ends? Tire and wheel,
Andrew Bracewell: Ken's tire and wheel and Children
Curt Derksen: and the way he treats every client the way that he treats all of his employees, It's It's like that's from a place of like caring for humans. He's got his own journey with, you know, dealing with challenges of his family, and we all have challenges. But he just continues to deliver three other humans, and I just got a lot of respect for
Andrew Bracewell: Mike Davis at a tennis tire shop in. If
Curt Derksen: you're looking for tires, go to Ken's tire shop in chill like,
Andrew Bracewell: Well, there you go. You want to deal with an awesome human. That's where you go is right. And we're going to Ah, One of the things that we're gonna do on this show is we're gonna reach out to people like like Mike and and tell them they're amazing because her things were amazing and congratulate them for for being awesome thio to humanity. So we're
Curt Derksen: gonna He deserves appreciation, So I'm glad he'll get it.
Andrew Bracewell: That's cool. Hey, thanks for doing this, man. My pleasure. Fun hanging out the living room drinking bourbon? Yep. Around to felt Felt natural. Yeah. When we when we when we press stop here, we'll probably have less. But, you know, um, this has been awesome. And I really appreciate you. Ah, you chatting with me and letting the world inside your brain and can't wait to do it again. Another time
Curt Derksen: if you want to have been here. So thanks for asking.
Andrew Bracewell: Okay. Thanks, buddy. You are welcome. Curt Derksen is an absolute gem. And I am so glad that I could share him with you today. He has one of the most beautiful bodies, but the guy could have. You're welcome for that. We talked about zombies you're welcome for that and our plans if should they happen to come? And a multitude of other fascinating topics that I hope you enjoyed as much as I did. So Curt, thanks for sharing your time with us. We sincerely appreciate it. Please remember to check out the show notes for more information about today's episode. And don't forget to follow us on instagram Twitter and subscribe so you can listen to and learn from every day Amazing.