Advice for smart men on how to succeed with women in sex, dating, relationships, and marriages. Beautiful women give you a peek behind the curtain into what the feminine really craves from the masculine ... and how to give it to us. If you want deep dating advice, help with relationships, or tips on how to have sex with women in a way they&#39;ll swoon over, c&#39;mon in. Personal growth is sexy, haven&#39;t you heard? And if you&#39;re ready to do the work, come work with us -- we&#39;d love to have you: www.evolutionary.men/apply.Get in touch at dearmenpodcast@gmail.com.

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/10/2/4/7ddba6ae-c607-4e1f-9054-ad8e2a15bb61_dm_433.mp3

Ever feel like your body has stopped cooperating in the one place you most need it to? Or it&#39;s totally hit-or-miss -- in one man&#39;s words: &#34;I never knew whether I was going to ejaculate at all. I had no control over it.&#34;Erectile dysfunction (ED), premature ejaculation (PE), and/or delayed ejaculation (DE) can have a devastating impact on a man&#39;s sense of self-esteem, as well as on sexual satisfaction in relationships. And we don&#39;t talk about this enough. These issues come up in my sex research constantly, and are a daily reality for hundreds of millions of men globally. Yet even in men&#39;s work spaces like men&#39;s groups, performance anxiety and sexual health is like the last frontier -- it&#39;s just hard to talk about how your d*ck is functioning.But we need to ... because men out there are suffering. For example, did you know that according to an article in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, 1 in 4 men seeking help for new-onset erectile dysfunction these days are 40 or younger? ED is not just an older man&#39;s game -- and it turns out that for some men (more than we might think), taking drugs like Viagra or Cialis doesn&#39;t even work.But don&#39;t worry -- there&#39;s way more possible here than you&#39;ve been led to believe.Whether you can&#39;t get hard without porn first, you lose your erection halfway through, premature ejaculation robs you of enjoying the experience fully (as well as your partner), or delayed ejaculation prevents you from finishing at all, cock trouble is common. And for some, the fear of it happening again has you wondering what the point of dating or sex even is.Here, pelvic floor educator Jana Danielson BRINGS THE HOPE. We get into why your erections may have more to do with how you breathe than with your penis, why Kegels might be making things worse, and the story of a 24-year-old athlete who was about to fill an ED prescription, but who Jana thankfully got her hands on. A month later, he was waking up with morning wood for the first time in years!If you&#39;ve been quietly white-knuckling your way through sex, or avoiding it altogether, this one&#39;s for you.—<h2>Join me on Oct 17th for my new masterclass: From STUCK to SATISFIED</h2>A live launch event for my upcoming new course, The Man She Craves, this class will outline the #1 pattern I&#39;ve seen after coaching men for over a decade. It&#39;s what I see separates the men who stay stuck in their love lives to transitioning into sexually and emotionally satisfying relationships.The class will run from 10a-12p PT / 1p-3p ET on October 17. It&#39;s $55, but if you use code DEARMEN it&#39;ll drop to $33. To save your spot, email <a href="mailto:dearmenpodcast@gmail.com" rel="nofollow">dearmenpodcast@gmail.com</a>. If you&#39;re in the US, you can also text BACKSTAGE to 33777.—<h3>Mentioned on this episode:</h3><ul><li>The Man She Craves (Melanie&#39;s new course; Jana is part of the Sexual Confidence upgrade)</li><li>The Cooch Ball: www.coochball.com</li><li>Jana on Instagram &amp; TikTok: @jana.danielson</li></ul>—Memorable quotes from this episode:<ul><li>&#34;I&#39;m not sure my marriage is going to survive.&#34;</li><li>&#34;When he did achieve an erection, it was really hard for him to maintain it.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Your body is not broken; it&#39;s just misunderstood.&#34;</li><li>&#34;&#39;Within a month, I was waking up with morning wood!&#39;&#34;</li><li>&#34;Clarity creates confidence.&#34;</li><li>&#34;&#39;Why would I give him a jail sentence of a wife?&#39;&#34;</li><li>&#34;We were searching for that elusive, fill-in-the-blank diagnosis.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Within 30 seconds I thought, &#39;Well, sh*t.&#39;&#34;</li><li>&#34;When I started talking about the pelvic floor, sh*t got weird.&#34;</li><li>&#34;&#39;I wanted to match my ejaculation with her to make sure I was taking care of her needs.&#39;&#34;</li><li>&#34;He started being able to squat deeper.&#34;</li><li>&#34;I am having the best orgasms of my life, and I have no plan on stopping.&#34;</li></ul>

433: Premature, delayed, or can't get it up? This 1 muscle is your secret weapon (ft. Jana Danielson)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/9/25/4/fd8ed327-da6a-4dbb-8e22-6440508319a5_dm_432.mp3

“I know I’m a good guy - I’m kind and compassionate and caring … so why don&#39;t girls want me??”This was one of Scott&#39;s main concerns in middle and high school. It felt like it was happening for everyone around him, but not him.Fast forward a few decades and now he&#39;s got overflow in his love life -- he&#39;s married and experiences affection, sex, closeness, and emotional availability on the daily. So what changed?Here we talk about the excruciating phone call in 6th grade that kicked everything off; the confusion of having close women friends who say they want a nice guy but then don&#39;t seem to want the nice guy that&#39;s right in front of them; what it actually means to feel SEEN after feeling overlooked; and the intriguing question Scott finally asked himself on a walk through a park in Madrid.You&#39;ll also hear about a client who looked great on paper, but who was stuck in first-date purgatory for years. A couple of months into the work, he said something he&#39;d never said before: &#34;She&#39;s actually chasing me!&#34;If you&#39;ve ever felt stuck in a pattern of first dates that never become second dates, years of swiping with nothing to show for it, or a marriage where you reach for her and keep hearing, &#34;No&#34; -- this one&#39;s for you.—<h2>Come to the upcoming Masterclass!</h2>The Man She Craves 101 is coming in October. Text BACKSTAGE to 33777 (U.S. only) to get on the list, or email <a href="mailto:dearmenpodcast@gmail.com" rel="nofollow">dearmenpodcast@gmail.com</a> if you&#39;re outside the U.S.—<h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>&#34;I see what I have to offer in a relationship; I don&#39;t see what I have to offer that gets me into a relationship.&#34;</li><li>&#34;I think I honestly felt that just being friendly to a girl was showing her that I liked her.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Me! Me! I am emotionally available to you right now.&#34;</li><li>&#34;You went from alone in the desert to overflow.&#34;</li><li>“If you get a few rejections early on, it starts the cycle down that path.”</li><li>“I didn’t really learn to flirt until college, and even then ... it was iffy.”</li><li>“My community helped me find myself more.”</li><li>“I have to get it RIGHT; I have to choose the RIGHT person.”</li><li>“I felt desired. I felt seen.”</li><li>“I’ve gotta show women that I‘m a good man!”</li><li>“How do I learn more about healthy masculinity?”</li><li>“I started to get to direct statements of desire from women.”</li><li>“It’s not like my appearance changed a lot.”</li><li>“Once you get in that flow, it is WONDERFUL.”</li></ul>

432: Have you ever felt overlooked by women? (ft. Scott Kaltenbaugh)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/9/18/4/c1f7492c-7326-46b5-8870-e27352c1d006_387_replay.mp3

Do you want women to feel deeply safe with you? Do you want your partner to feel not just satisfied physically and emotionally, but able to truly surrender with you -- let go of her inhibitions and experience IMMENSE PLEASURE on every level?Then she needs to trust you.Here we share our personal experiences of trust -- when a man has earned it and we&#39;ve been able to really lean in ... and when we&#39;ve been let down and felt the lack of trust.The truth is that a woman must trust you at a deep level if she&#39;s to feel safe with you. Sadly, as things stand we still inhabit a world where a lot of women feel unsafe with many men.So what does it take to be deeply trustable? Here, we each reveal what it takes for a man to be trusted by us on a personal level. We share intimate stories of times we interacted with an un-trustable man (and what made him un-trustable), as well as the times we felt deep trust, safety, and connection.Want a woman to fully surrender to you? Listen on -- whether you&#39;re newly dating, long-married, or in any other kind of love relationship, you&#39;re sure to get something out of this vulnerable, raw discussion of love, safety, trust, intimacy, and sexuality.Mentioned on this episode:<ul><li>The Man She Craves 101: My upcoming masterclass leading into my new course. Email me at dearmenpodcast at gmail dot com to register.</li></ul>

431: GirlTalk: What makes a man truly trustable? [replay]

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/9/11/3/8898cc86-313a-4ffe-bf27-b2e92bab598f_dm_jason_september_26.mp3

“Who’s taking up space in the relationship?”“If I don’t have any boundaries, I’ll often attract someone who doesn’t honor boundaries.”“Partners like this can be really smart.”“Because you’re the closest to them, you get all the wild crazy.”“I hear a new rule, I try to do that, and I still lose.”“It’s pretty hard to do alone.”“It really feels like, ‘There is no way out.’”“It can be comfortable but not very alive.”“Our guys don’t just want sex - they want closeness.”“Why do you need that? Isn’t this enough?”

430: The 2 types of partners Nice Guys tend to attract (ft. Jason Lange)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/9/4/1/5bdfc643-00d1-4af7-b40e-dd355bfb7174_dm_429.mp3

You&#39;ve probably heard of penis rings. Maybe you&#39;ve even tried one!? But there&#39;s a another tool almost nobody talks about — the men who&#39;ve actually explored it say nothing else compares, and yet most guys never even consider it, because of one thing: shame.Whether it&#39;s a marriage that&#39;s quietly gone sexless, an erection that isn&#39;t cooperating the way it used to, or just curiosity about what&#39;s actually out there beyond what you already know, midlife brings up a lot of questions men don&#39;t feel safe asking anyone — not their partner, not their doctor, not even their friends.Karen Bigman gets it. A certified sex educator at 60, she&#39;s got 3 fun categories of sex toys she recommends for men. We get into things like: How does a penis pump actually work in real life with a partner — do you pause mid-makeout to grab it, or does it happen before you even get to the bedroom?And we go somewhere most men never go: the prostate. What&#39;s it actually like? Why do the men who&#39;ve explored it describe it like &#34;watching in high def&#34;? And how do you even start, solo or with a partner?One stat that stuck with me: according to Mayo Clinic, erectile dysfunction can show up 3-5 years before any other symptoms of heart disease appear. Your body may be trying to tell you something before anything else does.If you&#39;ve ever been curious about exploring more but didn&#39;t know where to start — or didn&#39;t think it was &#34;allowed&#34; — this one&#39;s for you.<h2>Work with us</h2>Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I help you break old patterns and transform your sex &amp; love life for good. To see if you&#39;re a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (<a href="https://evolutionary.men/apply/" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/apply/</a>)<h3>Mentioned on this episode:</h3><ul><li>Karen&#39;s site: <a href="http://TabooToTruth.com" rel="nofollow">TabooToTruth.com</a></li><li>Please Her In Bed (Melanie&#39;s streaming course on how to talk about sex): <a href="http://www.pleaseherinbed.com" rel="nofollow">www.pleaseherinbed.com</a></li><li>MyHixel — penis rings, and a premature-ejaculation training system</li><li>FirmTech — clip-on penis rings, including the Tech Ring (tracks nocturnal erections)</li><li>O-Nut — stackable comfort/bumper rings</li><li>MV Health (formerly Mystery Vibe) — vibrating prostate massagers</li><li>Aneros — prostate massagers</li><li>Maude (Shine) — lube I recommend</li></ul><h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>&#34;I think the sexiest thing a man can do is ask.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Your penis health is a barometer of your overall health.&#34;</li><li>&#34;It&#39;s like watching a show in high def.&#34;</li><li>&#34;The two hardest conversations in relationships are sex and money.&#34;</li><li>&#34;This is a guy that&#39;s actually, like, cares. This is a guy that wants to talk to me. He doesn&#39;t just want to get in my pants.&#34;</li><li>&#34;&#39;I don&#39;t care if I ever have sex again.&#39;&#34;</li><li>&#34;60 is the new 60.&#34;</li></ul>

429: Mid-life men: 3 categories of sex toys that'll rock your world! (ft. Karen Bigman)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/8/29/5/2faaa52b-4531-476a-a145-84fdcfc69918_dm_428_fr.mp3

Edge City is one of the most exciting, fun, engaging, dynamic communities of which I&#39;m a part -- and here I get to interview one of the founders! (This is very exciting for me.)Edge City runs month-long &#34;pop-up villages&#34; — 500 to 1,000 people from tech, science, culture, and art, gathered in one small, walkable town, building things together. In Timour&#39;s words, &#34;It&#39;s got the dynamism of a city, with the vibe of a village — that&#39;s kind of a design principle for us.&#34;In my words: It&#39;s like summer camp meets a tech conference ... and it&#39;s also a hotbed of attraction. :)But what happens when you meet someone in an environment where you absolutely will run into them again? What if you don&#39;t want to make her uncomfortable by asking her out? How do organizers think about this?As Timour puts it, &#34;We are in a weird time when it comes to dating.” But don&#39;t worry -- we discuss the anonymous &#34;crush&#34; feature that could change everything.We also get into the dating dynamics at the village specifically, including my feeling of being surrounded by attractive men and yet noticeably under-approached. We cover the couple whose second date really was an entire month-long event, and the strange twist where Timour says this is actually the opposite of Burning Man&#39;s infamous &#34;playa romance&#34; phenomenon.If you&#39;ve ever wondered whether there&#39;s a real-world alternative to the apps — something that isn&#39;t just another platform — this one&#39;s worth your full attention.—<h2>Come to Edge City!</h2>The next Edge City is in Goa, India from Oct 11–Nov 1. Plus there&#39;s a smaller, 30-person trip to Bhutan from Nov 11–19. Use code DEARMEN for 20% off Goa tickets. Details at edgecity.live.—<h2>Work with us</h2>Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I help you break old patterns and transform your sex &amp; love life for good. To see if you&#39;re a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (<a href="https://evolutionary.men/apply/" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/apply/</a>)—<h3>Mentioned on this episode:</h3><ul><li><a href="http://edgecity.live" rel="nofollow">Edge City</a>: upcoming events in Goa, India (Oct 11–Nov 1) and Bhutan (Nov 11–19)</li><li>Questions about Edge City? Email <a href="mailto:DearMenPodcast@gmail.com" rel="nofollow">DearMenPodcast@gmail.com</a></li></ul>—<h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>&#34;I felt like there were all these attractive men, and no one was approaching me.&#34;</li><li>&#34;We&#39;ve even had a few kids conceived at or because of Edge.&#34;</li><li>&#34;I don&#39;t want to be the weird guy who&#39;s approaching... what if that makes them uncomfortable?&#34;</li><li>“It was about how alive I felt in that environment.”</li><li>“It’s exponentially more meaningful than a one- or two-day conference.”</li><li>“There is the serendipity of running into people that feels magical.”</li><li>“We’re pushing ourselves forward both personally as well as society.”</li><li> “It’s the dynamism of a city with the vibe of a village.”</li><li>“Why doesn’t your neighborhood feel communal?”</li><li>“We needed from the beginning to have the architecture and DNA that would be welcoming to children.”</li><li> “We grow up and we’re taught to find The One.”</li><li>“You need to go through the crucible of, ‘Is this the right person for me?’”</li></ul>

428: Is a popup village the perfect place to find your person (or deepen with your beloved)?' (ft. Timour Kosters)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/8/21/5/2313bd10-6bd2-4caa-81b8-bd78daa538ff_dm_427.mp3

She&#39;s successful. She&#39;s put together. She seems like she doesn&#39;t need anyone. So why does dating still feel impossible for her — and why does she seem so hard to get close to?The men we work with are almost always intensely curious about what life is like on the &#34;other side.&#34; What do single women contend with? What are their biggest dating, sex, and relationship challenges? Here, Violet breaks down 3 top issues frequently faced by single women — the ones most men never clock, because women have gotten so good at hiding them.We get into why the most &#34;together,&#34; successful women are often the most terrified of being seen, and what that has to do with whether she actually notices you making eye contact across the room.We dig into the hot-and-cold thing — why it happens, why it almost never has anything to do with you, and why the woman across from you at dinner may be carrying more than she&#39;s ever said out loud.And we unpack the unconscious dating pattern nearly every long-single woman is repeating without knowing it — the one Violet says she couldn&#39;t see either, until someone lovingly pointed it out.Plus: the bar story about the guy who approached a whole circle of women, and what has changed in Violet&#39;s own marriage after over a decade together.If you&#39;ve ever felt like you couldn&#39;t figure out how to &#34;get in&#34; with a woman who seems to have it all together — or you&#39;re partnered with a woman who runs hot and cold — this one could fundamentally change how you see her.—<h2>Work with us</h2>Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I help you break old patterns and transform your sex &amp; love life for good. To see if you&#39;re a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (<a href="https://evolutionary.men/apply/" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/apply/</a>)—<h3>Mentioned on this episode:</h3><ul><li><a href="https://violetlange.com/loveharmonics/?affiliate_code=5b90a8" rel="nofollow">Love Harmonics</a> (Violet&#39;s 6-week, $69 program on breaking unconscious dating patterns; open to all genders): [https://violetlange.com/loveharmonics/?affiliate_code=5b90a8]</li><li>Episode 153: Her Sexual Healing: How to Support Her and Get Your Needs Met (ft. Violet Lange)</li></ul>—<h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>&#34;The flower opens and the bee appears. Not, the bee comes by knocking on the door, and then the flower decides to open.&#34;</li><li>&#34;I want to be seen for all of who I am, and not just in my need.&#34;</li><li>&#34;It fucking works! It really works!&#34;</li><li>&#34;I now have soul-shaking sex with my husband... and we&#39;ve been together 11 years.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Your happily ever after starts with you — it&#39;s not up to fate, it&#39;s not up to some meet-cute. It&#39;s really an inside job.&#34;</li></ul>

427: All the single ladies: the top 3 dating challenges for women! (ft. Violet Lange)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/8/14/5/d322c67d-e579-4cc6-ab06-a2d9561ac7e9_dm_426.mp3

Let&#39;s be real: Modern dating culture can suck. Between ghosting, confusion over when to have sex, the commodification of our love lives, and people throwing up old photos on Tinder, Feeld, or Bumble, it&#39;s not always clear how to make it work.But Freya isn&#39;t playing by the rules anymore. Instead of sticking with the apps, which can leave both men and women feeling dejected, she&#39;s running a full-blown, 3-month public campaign to find a boyfriend ... and she&#39;s inviting her entire audience along for the ride.What&#39;s equally as cool is that she&#39;s challenging herself on an essentially daily basis to approach men in the wild. We get all up into how this is going for her (how do you approach a guy at the grocery store? What if he&#39;s got headphones in? What if he&#39;s taken? How does she handle rejection?), and her strong and well-made points about how we could all &#34;do&#34; dating better.We also dig into the wildest event she&#39;s said yes to (hint: 250 people were watching); what happened on her fourth lap around a park after 3 failed attempts to talk to a cute guy walking his dog; and why the little note cards she&#39;s been handing out to strangers might be the most old-school-meets-radical dating move going right now.And a distinction we both come back to: the difference between dominating, being passive, and leading (and why &#34;leading&#34; is the one that actually works).<h2>Work with us</h2>Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I help you break old patterns and transform your sex &amp; love life for good. To see if you&#39;re a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (<a href="https://evolutionary.men/apply/" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/apply/</a>)—<h3>Mentioned on this episode:</h3><ul><li>Please Her In Bed (Melanie&#39;s streaming course on how to talk about sex with women in a way that actually helps them to open up): <a href="http://www.pleaseherinbed.com" rel="nofollow">www.pleaseherinbed.com</a></li><li>Find Freya a Fella (Freya&#39;s crowdsourced-boyfriend campaign): <a href="http://freyagraf.com" rel="nofollow">freyagraf.com</a></li><li>The Labia Lounge (Freya&#39;s podcast on sex and dating, for all genders)</li><li>The Man Cave (the org where Freya facilitates workshops for teenage boys on healthy masculinity, emotional literacy, boundaries, and consent)</li></ul>---<h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>&#34;This is not an empowering place to be that we find ourselves in.&#34;</li><li>&#34;The bar is very low. It&#39;s very close to the ground.&#34;</li><li>&#34;&#39;No one&#39;s ever done that. Like, good on you.&#39;&#34;</li><li>&#34;I literally massage vaginas for a living.&#34;</li><li>&#34;That&#39;s basically a precursor to being in a relationship with a man who doesn&#39;t make effort.&#34;</li><li>&#34;97% of women did not mention anything about how hard a man got, or how long he lasted. And 0% mentioned him having a six-pack.&#34;</li><li>&#34;I want love, I love love, I&#39;m not ashamed to admit it.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Don&#39;t be afraid to write a note -- it&#39;s adorable.&#34;</li></ul>

426: She's crowd-sourcing the process of finding a boyfriend! (ft. Freya Graf)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/8/7/5/446fd33a-2f3e-4dc2-a124-d69d7cceed2b_dm_425_.mp3

&#34;Is your dick going to be synced to porn?&#34;That&#39;s not hypothetical — it&#39;s already on the market. Here, intimacy expert Susan Bratton walks me through &#34;weird&#34; phenomena at the frontier of sex tech and AI, including synchronized strokers, tele-dildonics (I&#39;ll bet that&#39;s a word you&#39;ve never come across before), role-player game (RPG) worlds where you can get down and dirty with an Aztec warrior woman, and adaptive AI that learns what gets you off and gives you more of it.But where does this genuinely help? And where can it quietly wreck your dopamine system and/or real-world relationships? We delve into all of it, including the exact device suite that Susan and her boyfriend use for long-distance sex. Imagine being thousands of miles apart, still having synchronized orgasms on video. (I did not expect the &#34;hard-boiled egg&#34; comparison, but you&#39;ll get it once you hear it.)Plus:<ul><li>How a woman can regnerate her vaginal tissue (YES, this helps if she&#39;s dry after/during perimenopause/menopause)</li><li>The 96% statistic about what most porn is actually showing you</li><li>The ancient technique that separates orgasm from ejaculation</li><li>Why penis pumps are not the cheesy novelty you think they are</li></ul> And a fundamental truth that Susan and I agree on: The best sex tech in the world means nothing without the communication skills underneath it. Plus what I consider the quote of the episode: &#34;I want to live forever and fuck till I die!&#34;—<h2>Come to the retreat!</h2>As of this recording, we have 4 spots left for our Labor Day weekend retreat! Sept 3-7th in Northern California (about 2 hrs north of SF). We work hard to keep it financially accessible, and payment plans are available.As one man says, &#34;If you&#39;re thinking about going, you&#39;re already there.&#34;<a href="https://evolutionary.men/retreat/" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/retreat/</a>---<h2>Work with us</h2>Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex &amp; love life for good. To see if you&#39;re a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (<a href="https://evolutionary.men/apply/" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/apply/</a>)—<h3>Mentioned on this episode:</h3><ul><li>Please Her In Bed (Melanie&#39;s streaming course on how to talk about sex with women in a way that actually helps them to open up): <a href="http://www.pleaseherinbed.com" rel="nofollow">www.pleaseherinbed.com</a></li><li>Drive Desire (Susan&#39;s full toy/device library): <a href="http://www.drivedesire.com/" rel="nofollow">www.drivedesire.com</a></li></ul>—<h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>&#34;No one&#39;s ever given her these types of strokes before.&#34;</li><li>&#34;They don&#39;t want you addicted to the yoni. They want you addicted to the screens.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Your dick is a tongue, not a piston.&#34;</li><li>&#34;You don&#39;t owe me an ejaculation.&#34;</li><li>&#34;How&#39;s your hoo-ha doing?&#34;</li><li>&#34;When you are a turned-on woman or a turned-on man, you&#39;re turned on to life.&#34;</li><li> &#34;Your sexual vitality and your vitality are two sides of the same coin.&#34;</li></ul>

425: How weird is sex gonna get in the age of AI? (ft. Susan Bratton)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/7/31/23/dcfeca6f-38f4-40fe-b3ac-c096fe095fbf_371_replay.mp3

“I was nervous as hell.”So shares one of the men in this episode about how he felt stepping onto the land of our in-person retreat. In another&#39;s words, “I went into a panic because I’m having flashbacks of summer camp.”What&#39;s it really like to do live men&#39;s work?The truth is, most men that come to live retreats are intimidated in one way or another. Rates of bullying are astronomically high, and you don&#39;t always know what to expect. As another put it, “There’s a shared understanding of the brutality between men.” And, “When I was a boy, there was never any spiritual or deep, emotional holding by men in my life.”But you can write -- and experience -- a different story. You can have a new experience of brotherhood ... and what that makes possible may be something you&#39;ve never even considered.In one man&#39;s words, “The dynamic within my whole family has changed.” Another said, “There’s now a level of connection now with my wife that I can’t even describe.”If you&#39;e ever felt like you didn&#39;t fit in as a kid, or you&#39;re just plain curious about how our retreat has impacted other men, listen on. There can be kind and loving experiences of masculine love.---<h2>Come to the retreat!</h2>As of this recording, we have 4 spots left! It&#39;s over Labor Day weekend, Sept 3-7th in Northern California (about 2 hours north of SF). We work hard to keep it financially accessible, and payment plans are available.Or as one man said, “If you’re thinking about going, you’re already there.”<a href="https://evolutionary.men/retreat/" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/retreat/</a>---<h2>Work with us</h2>Want to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex &amp; love lives for good.To see if there&#39;s a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call <a href="https://evolutionary.men/apply/" rel="nofollow">here</a>. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---<h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>&#34;I wanted to be vulnerable and open, but I didn’t know how, and I wasn’t sure I could.”</li><li>“I was deathly afraid to become a terrible father.”</li><li>“I cried tears of joy for the first time in my life.”</li><li>“I realized — through all the work I’ve been doing, therapy, self-reflection, etc. — how much love I have for myself (finally).”</li><li>“If we’re gonna talk about this trauma, we might as well do it in the hot tub!”</li><li>“There was racism even within my own church.”</li><li>“I can accept other men’s unconditional love, and it helped me know how to provide unconditional love to other men.”</li><li>“I came into the first retreat a very tough nut to crack.”</li><li>“There is hope with change.”</li><li>“You’ll make friends.”</li><li>“Come for the food; stay for the healing.”</li><li>“You WILL experience a transformation.”</li><li>“Just get there.”</li></ul>

424: GuyTalk: 'This is where you get your master’s degree in men’s work.'

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/7/31/19/746b93d7-1423-45c5-924e-684a3bf53979_103_replay.mp3

Have you ever felt like your woman was routinely frustrated, resentful, or annoyed with you? Like you can&#39;t get anything right, and then on top of that, when it comes to sex or physical intimacy, FORGET about it. Not happening.If so, you may be contending with reverse polarity. This can happen in either direction, but we find that with our clients, it&#39;s illuminating to explore the flavor when a man is more in omega (his feminine) and a woman more in her alpha (her masculine).Here, we delve into the different stages of relationship as they relate to polarity (original concept by author and thought leader David Deida.) We also get into what to DO about reverse polarity. How do you re-polarize a relationship if you haven&#39;t been very polarized lately?The focus, as always, is how we can grow into sexier, more fulfilling relationships on both sides.—<h3>Come to the Retreat!</h3>We&#39;ve still got 7 spots left as of this episode dropping! Sept 3-7th, NorCal. <a href="http://www.evolutionary.men/retreat" rel="nofollow">www.evolutionary.men/retreat</a>—<h3>Work with us</h3>Ready to go deeper than the podcast? Our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, is where it all happens. You can join anytime -- book a call at <a href="http://www.evolutionary.men/apply" rel="nofollow">www.evolutionary.men/apply</a>.—<h4>Mentioned on this episode:</h4><ul><li>No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover</li></ul>

423: Not having the sex you want in your relationship? Reverse polarity could be involved. (ft. Jason & Violet Lange) [replay]

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/7/16/16/0ebc65c9-b653-4ecd-be75-55e6b591b88e_dm_422.mp3

Ever feel like you&#39;re doing everything &#34;right&#34; — showing up, being kind, respecting her — but only getting crumbs?First dates that never turn into second dates. A marriage where you&#39;ve quietly become roommates; no matter what you do, there&#39;s no sex, and there&#39;s not even very much affection. That feeling of putting in a ton of effort and still spinning your wheels.If any of that lands, you&#39;re likely living out some version of Nice Guy Syndrome.Outgrowing being a Nice Guy doesn&#39;t mean becoming a jerk. It does mean that you learn some skills or make some shifts you&#39;ve maybe never even thought of before.Here, Jason and I break down the 3 specific things that support men in graduating from being a Nice Guy — the ones that take them from stuck to, &#34;Wait, this actually works now?&#34;—<h3>Come to the Retreat!</h3>Join us live in Boonville, CA (near Napa) in early September. As of this episode dropping, we&#39;ve got 8 spots left. <a href="http://www.evolutionary.men/retreat" rel="nofollow">www.evolutionary.men/retreat</a>—<h3>Work with us</h3>Ready to go deeper? Our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, is where men transform. Book a call at <a href="http://www.evolutionary.men/apply" rel="nofollow">www.evolutionary.men/apply</a>.—<h4>Mentioned on this episode:</h4><ul><li>No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover</li></ul>—<h4>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h4><ul><li>&#34;I&#39;m trying really fucking hard and I&#39;m not winning anywhere in it.&#34;</li><li>&#34;No woman can trust your yes if you do not have the capacity to say no.&#34;</li><li>&#34;You can&#39;t get better at community without being in community.&#34;</li><li>&#34;If shame is getting in the way of that, she doesn&#39;t have a chance to shine.&#34;</li></ul>

422: Want MORE from your love life? 3 ways to grow past Nice Guy Syndrome (ft. Jason Lange)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/7/10/4/1ea05a92-9fc6-406f-94de-a6e0d1ee678f_dm_189_replay.mp3

How much does a woman&#39;s sexual satisfaction depend on the size, shape, or other physical details of your cock?According to research out of the UK, this question is on the hearts of a lot of men. To quote this study: &#34;Men showed significant dissatisfaction with penile size, despite perceiving themselves to be of average size.&#34;In other words, it&#39;s common, if you&#39;re a man, to wonder (or worry) about whether size matters.Now here&#39;s the real question: Do women that sleep with men track this, and if so, how much?The truth is that there&#39;s as much diversity in the world of penises as there is in the world of human beings. And as women who have sex with men, we&#39;ve seen a whole bunch! Here, we get real about sex, relationships, hookups, play, and cock size.---<h1>Join us!</h1>We&#39;ve got a few spots left at our live, in-person retreat, September 3rd–7th — five days of embodiment, brotherhood, and doing the work that will actually move the needle. Get in here: <a href="https://evolutionary.men/retreat" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/retreat</a>---<h3>Mentioned on this episode:</h3><ul><li>Please Her In Bed, my streaming course: www.pleaseherinbed.com</li></ul>

421: GirlTalk: Does size matter? [replay]

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/7/3/3/6b3a145f-c6f0-4076-8ac6-42a0ddbd675c_dm_420.mp3

Do you want to establish a new, healthier habit, but so far you just ... haven&#39;t? For example: eat more veggies; exercise; have a meditation practice; be bolder with women/your woman; or a big one: cease watching porn.According to a meta-analysis on this exact questions, intentions only account for ~30% of whether someone actually changes behavior — meaning you can be fully committed and clear on what you want to do, and that commitment still barely predicts whether you’ll do it.The good news? Change is possible; it just doesn’t happen the way you think it does.We get into the real gap — between knowing and embodying — and cover why some of the smartest, most self-aware men we work with can describe their patterns with PhD-level precision, but still be stuck in the exact same loop years later.We also talk about the guy who showed up to the work feeling stuck and hopeless ... and who&#39;s now having the most fulfilling sex of his life with the healthiest partner with whom he has ever been.Fair warning: this one might make you rethink how you&#39;ve been trying to change -- and you might start taking the actions that&#39;ll ACTUALLY get you what you want.—<h1>Join us!</h1>We&#39;ve got a few spots left at our live, in-person retreat, September 3rd–7th — five days of embodiment, brotherhood, and doing the work that will actually move the needle. Get in here: <a href="https://evolutionary.men/retreat" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/retreat</a>—<h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>&#34;You don&#39;t know how deep the pond is till you get in there.&#34;</li><li>&#34;It&#39;s the difference between information and transformation.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Healing your relationship with other men sets you up for success with women.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Courage is not, &#39;I know everything&#39;s gonna be fine.&#39; Courage is, &#39;I&#39;m scared and I&#39;m doing it anyway.&#39;&#34;</li><li>&#34;There is no replacement for the group.&#34;</li><li>&#34;The payoff is so grand — but you gotta take some risks, you gotta do the damn thing.&#34;</li><li>&#34;That guy&#39;s got fucking balls and fire ... and he feels so safe to be around.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Shame is healed in community.&#34;</li></ul>

420: 'I know what I need to do ... I just don't do it.' (ft. Jason Lange)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/6/26/5/68725dec-53b9-41b6-a4e2-fc7102b33eed_dm_419.mp3

When it comes to sex, dating, and relationships, what is AI good for? And where can it potentially cause damage?Here, Jason and I go point-for-point — one way AI can support your love life, one way it can harm it — and get into the nuances most people aren&#39;t talking about.We cover what AI is actually good for: crafting the message you can feel but can&#39;t quite say; getting unstuck when you&#39;re in your head at midnight; brainstorming date ideas that generate real dopamine for the couple; handling the &#34;shit work&#34; of logistics so you can show up more present.We share the real story of one client whose fight with his wife got a little unstuck through an unexpected AI assist — and the &#34;family assistant&#34; moment that changed everything for a friend struggling to ask for help.We also delve into in which ways AI can be like emotional porn; what MIT research shows about how heavy AI use impacts mental health and relationships; and why people literally grieved when OpenAI turned down the sycophancy dial.The deepest cut? AI has no needs. It will never trigger you, never require repair, never push back. And if you spend enough time in that dynamic... you might start to forget that friction is what actually creates intimacy. But real negotiation between two different humans — that&#39;s not the obstacle to love. That IS love.If you&#39;re curious about AI and want to use it wisely — without letting it quietly erode the very capacities that make you magnetic — this one&#39;s for you.—<h2>Work with us</h2>Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex &amp; love life for good. To see if you&#39;re a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (<a href="https://evolutionary.men/apply/" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/apply/</a>)—<h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>&#34;There&#39;s a risk she&#39;s gonna figure it out.&#34;</li><li>&#34;What&#39;s our agreement or understanding about AI in our relationship?&#34;</li><li>&#34;You&#39;ve got to make sure you&#39;re working it, and it&#39;s not working you.&#34;</li><li>&#34;AI can give us the fake sugar version of relationship.&#34;</li><li>&#34;It doesn&#39;t have any needs. It doesn&#39;t have any triggers. There&#39;s no need to negotiate.&#34;</li><li>&#34;The friction of relationship is what we learn to work — and it&#39;s what makes it meaningful.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Get really good at friction. If you can be the one in the room who can hang in conflict — that is only going to become more valuable.&#34;</li><li>&#34;It can be part of your team. It can&#39;t be your whole team.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Safety and trust is built in person with human beings — and most of what we&#39;re gauging is how they are being with us, not what they are saying.&#34;</li></ul>

419: 3 ways AI can help your love life (and 3 ways it can f*** it up) (ft. Jason Lange)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/6/19/5/7e545bb7-aab3-465b-8598-e4fd36d5ff38_dm_418.mp3

&#34;Is this in my head, or is this real?&#34;Millions of women ask themselves this question -- about their sleep, their mood, their body suddenly working differently than it used to. They can&#39;t tell if they can&#39;t sleep as well as they used to because they&#39;ve got two young children ... or whether it&#39;s perimenopause.If you want to be an awesome partner (either now or in the future), listen on! This is the hormonal literacy class you never got that could help with everything.Here I sit down with Morgan Miller, midwife and co-author of The Cycle Book (with her best friend, sex therapist Laura Federico), to decode what&#39;s actually happening in a woman&#39;s body as she&#39;s in different phases.We go deep on perimenopause: sleep disruption, night sweats, heart palpitations, ER scares no one warns you about; the anxiety and PMDD that can be a hormonal sensitivity, not an imbalance. There&#39;s also the easy, often-missed fix for vaginal dryness, recurrent UTIs, and painful sex (a targeted topical instead of antibiotics).We also cover why a single blood draw is just &#34;her estrogen at 2pm on a Tuesday&#34; — and why tracking biomarkers (which is actually pretty simple) over a few cycles tells you a LOT more.Plus a stat that floored me: period-tracking apps are only ~20% accurate at predicting ovulation — wrong roughly 80% of the time.If your woman has ever been told &#34;everything&#39;s fine&#34; while her body said otherwise, and you&#39;ve felt helpless watching it — this one&#39;s for you.—<h2>Work with us</h2>Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex &amp; love life for good. To see if you&#39;re a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (<a href="https://evolutionary.men/apply/" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/apply/</a>)—<h3>Mentioned on this episode:</h3><ul><li>The Love Field: Hot Love Summer → <a href="https://www.violetlange.com/thelovefield" rel="nofollow">www.violetlange.com/thelovefield</a></li><li>The Cycle Book: An Interactive Step-by-Step Guide to Tracking Hormones and Knowing Your Body by Laura Federico, LCSW &amp; Morgan Miller, CPM, LM</li><li>Work with Morgan &amp; Laura (virtual; they also train providers): <a href="http://www.itslauraandmorgan.com" rel="nofollow">www.itslauraandmorgan.com</a></li></ul>—<h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>&#34;I feel loved when the men in my life know things about a woman&#39;s body.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Men have a 24-hour cycle, too.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Vaginas are so smart — they&#39;re self-cleaning systems.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Don&#39;t get pigeonholed into the algorithms; you&#39;re not every human.&#34;</li><li>&#34;It&#39;s like learning a new language. Once you learn it, you can&#39;t unlearn it.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Is this my body adjusting? Is this my body asking for support? Or should I be getting a divorce?&#34;</li><li>&#34;There&#39;s no amount of hormones you can pump your body full of that&#39;s going to make your libido crank up if you&#39;re not into it.&#34;</li><li>&#34;We are patient zero. We are figuring this out for ourselves.&#34;</li></ul>

418: Her hormones: what every partner needs to know  (ft. Morgan Miller)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/6/12/5/17aaaba6-fde6-476f-b558-31902e56ecd9_dm_417.mp3

A 2022 <a href="https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20220615005290/en/Majority-of-American-Men-Fear-Being-Deemed-Creepy-According-to-New-Research" rel="nofollow">dating survey</a> showed that a whopping 69% of American men say that fear of being labeled &#34;creepy&#34; impacts how they interact with women. And 44% said it diminishes how much they interact with women at all, romantically or otherwise. In other words, the fear of being creepy can hold you back from all connection with women, not just in the realm of dating/relationships.But let&#39;s talk about sex and dating for a moment. The cruel irony is that this kind of fear usually means you&#39;ve got a good heart — but left unchecked, it can make you shrink, go invisible, and tuck your sexuality away entirely ... which kills polarity.Here, Jason and I count down the top 3 ways to make sure you&#39;re NOT coming off as creepy. We get practical as well as emotional. I share the &#34;library story&#34; I still think about; Jason gets honest about the years he spent frozen and numb — and we get into why whoever is breathing more deeply in the room ... is holding alpha.We also share the simple thing you can say out loud that turns an awkward, high-stakes context with a woman into one where she actually feels safe enough to say yes — including the exact line that helped one man ask out a longtime friend and land in the healthiest relationship either of them had ever had.plus a breakthrough that took one client from scared-and-small to making out outside a restaurant with a woman he thought was &#34;out of his league&#34; — plus the married man who finally said six words to his wife he&#39;d never dared say in their whole marriage, and how she responded.Whether you&#39;ve frozen, over-corrected, or held your fire because you were terrified of being &#34;that guy&#34; — single or married — this one&#39;s for you. You can move beyond creepy and reclaim this part of yourself ... and everyone benefits when you do.—<h2>Work with us</h2>Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex &amp; love life for good. To see if you&#39;re a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (<a href="https://evolutionary.men/apply/" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/apply/</a>)—<h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>&#34;&#39;Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.&#39;&#34;</li><li>&#34;There&#39;s an inverse relationship between safety and creepy.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Head evokes head, heart evokes heart, body evokes body.&#34;</li><li>&#34;And she said, &#39;It&#39;s not that I don&#39;t want that — it&#39;s not like this, right now.&#39;&#34;</li><li>&#34;The problem isn&#39;t always the context — it&#39;s whether you set a container and can speak to it.&#34;</li><li>&#34;There&#39;s nothing wrong with our sexuality. It&#39;s what we do with it.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Whether you say yes or no, I&#39;m going to be okay.&#34;</li><li>&#34;&#39;I find it really hot when you wear a short skirt and boots!&#39;&#34;</li><li>&#34;Shame is healed in community.&#34;</li></ul>

417: Top 3 ways to NOT come off as creepy (ft. Jason Lange)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/6/5/4/e07f359e-add8-44b8-ba17-4b3bf9727c75_dm_416.mp3

Who doesn&#39;t have trust issues? Let&#39;s be real. Whether it shows up as &#34;I don&#39;t trust her to handle my anger,&#34; or &#34;I&#39;m afraid I&#39;ll just be treated like an ATM&#34; or, &#34;I can&#39;t relax until I know the person really, really well,&#34; — almost all of carry some version of trust concerns into our dating and relationships.Here, my dear friend and co-facilitator Violet Lange and I do something we don&#39;t often get to: We put our worlds side by side. I work primarily with men who are attracted to women; she works primarily with women who are attractd to men.Here we map out the top 3 trust issues we see in our clients -- in other words, how trust issues show up differently across men and women that are attracted to the opposite sex. And, encouragingly, we outline how the path to healing them is remarkably similar.We also get practical about the 3 things required to actually rebuild trust — and none of them is blind trust. As Violet puts it, the goal isn&#39;t to trust everyone; it&#39;s to trust trustable people, and to feel good about staying closed when you need to.If you want the relationship but dread the dating part; if you&#39;re tired of being on dating apps; if you keep wondering &#34;why do I keep ending up here?&#34; — this one&#39;s for you. Trust can be repaired. People come, they grow, they flourish.—<h2>Work with us</h2>Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex &amp; love life for good. To see if you&#39;re a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (<a href="https://evolutionary.men/apply/" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/apply/</a>)—<h3>Mentioned on this episode:</h3><ul><li>The Love Field: Hot Love Summer — Violet&#39;s and my new 3-month program (constellations, embodiment, polarity, and the brave conversations we were never taught to have,). Starts June 18th; early bird ends Monday, June 8th. Enroll at <a href="https://www.violetlange.com/thelovefield" rel="nofollow">www.violetlange.com/thelovefield</a></li><li>Documentary: The Mask You Live In — on how our culture socializes boys and men; this is a great way to open dialogue if you have a young man in your life</li><li>DM 114: Bullying, resilience, and relationships — on reclaiming a healthy relationship to the masculine after being bullied as a kid, teen, or adult</li></ul>—<h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>&#34;I&#39;m so sick of being on the apps.&#34;</li><li>&#34;I feel like I can&#39;t have sex with someone until I know them really, really, really well.&#34;</li><li>&#34;We feel unsafe to be in our bodies.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Wow, that was really healing to experience something different.&#34;</li><li>&#34;The concern is: In my most vulnerable moments, I will be left.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Women fear, &#39;I won&#39;t be chosen.&#39;&#34;</li><li>&#34;I&#39;ve been loyal to myself throughout.&#34;</li><li>&#34;I&#39;m not afraid to start over.&#34;</li><li>&#34;A lot of it is about recognizing the patterns that we&#39;ve inherited.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Now I feel a little more relaxed in my body, so that I can be open to men that are safe for me.&#34;</li><li>&#34;I want the relationships but I don&#39;t really want to go through the dating part.&#34;</li></ul>

416: How do you deal with your trust issues? (ft. Violet Lange)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/5/29/6/ae5a2dc2-6d1a-4b55-9f7c-2566d49c9e93_dm_415.mp3

You love your partner. You&#39;re committed. But the sex has slowed to a trickle — once a month, once every six months, maybe not in years — and you&#39;re starting to wonder: &#34;Is this just what long-term partnership is?&#34;No -- it doesn&#39;t have to be. Unfortunately, if this is happening and you&#39;re feeling lonely in your marriage, you&#39;re not alone. And it can be hard to know what to do; millions of men feel ill-equipped to address the issue because either a) whenever they do, it becomes a fight; or b) they&#39;re scared of coming off as demanding or a jerk.Here, Jason and I count down the 5 root causes we see most often behind sexless relationships, ranked from least to most common, drawing on our work with hundreds of men.We cover how much changes when you have kids (including the partner that just can&#39;t relax when the kids are in the house); resentment and quiet breaches of trust; mental load; what kind of sex actually feels good for women; and how to engage on the topic skillfully. As Jason says: “Neither men nor women do well when sex is connected to pressure.”We also share story after story of men whose &#34;spines got straighter,&#34; who stopped using sex to discharge stress, and whose wives initiated for the first time in a decade!If you&#39;ve been the higher-desire partner wondering, &#34;Is this just how it is now?&#34; -- this one&#39;s for you. It can come back online, and when it does, it&#39;s often even more glorious than ever.—<h2>Work with us</h2>Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex &amp; love life for good. To see if you&#39;re a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (<a href="https://evolutionary.men/apply/" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/apply/</a>)—<h3>Mentioned on this episode:</h3><ul><li>The Love Field -- our new co-gendered course <a href="http://www.violetlange.com/thelovefield" rel="nofollow">www.violetlange.com/thelovefield</a></li><li>DM 222: Are you using your woman for sex?</li><li>DM 103: Reverse polarity can kill your sex life as a couple -- unless you do this</li><li>My streaming course <a href="https://www.melaniecurtin.com/product/please-her-in-bed/" rel="nofollow">Please Her In Bed</a> — which includes how a man can lead sexual communication (www.pleaseherinbed.com)</li><li>DM 172: Revealing my sex research, one stat at a time (ft. Robbie Kramer)</li><li>DM 1: Pain in Pleasure, Pleasure in Pain -- episode with my friend Z, who took a Tantra course and went on her own journey of sexual healing within her marriage</li></ul>—<h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>“Instead of being on the same team, suddenly we’re against each other.”</li><li>“This is the challenge most couples aren’t prepared for.”</li><li>&#34;&#39;I enjoyed that he enjoyed it.&#39; ... That&#39;s not the same thing as, &#39;I enjoyed it.&#39;&#34;</li><li>“How do we actually create desire in the relationship? That&#39;s polarity.”</li><li>&#34;If there are unresolved tensions between the two of you, there&#39;s no room for erotic tension.&#34;</li><li>&#34;&#39;My wife initiated with me for the first time in, I swear to God, a decade.&#39;&#34;</li><li>“After retreat these guys are CHARGED UP with masculine energy.”</li><li>“Spending deep, quality time with other men is a big part of this.”</li><li>“‘I want you to take me!’”</li><li>&#34;It can change.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Good sex is like lubricant for the relationship itself.&#34;</li></ul>

415: The 5 biggest reasons relationships go sexless ... and what to do (ft. Jason Lange)

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2026/5/22/3/41fa474c-04f5-47e6-963e-84e147428cf9_dm_414.mp3

Ever been told you&#39;re a &#34;great guy!&#34; but she&#39;s &#34;just not feeling it&#34;? Or felt like you&#39;re endlessly chasing women but never being pursued yourself?Here, we dig into what&#39;s actually happening when women consistently report not feeling attracted to you -- and what you can do about it.The truth is, attraction only has a little to do with what you look like physically. For example, one client came into our program good-looking by every conventional standard: broad shoulders, nice body, the whole thing.But he wasn&#39;t having success with women. He was frustrated and stuck. He felt like if he kept going in the same vein, he&#39;d never get the partnership he craved. In this episode we reveal how he got to a breakthrough; after 8-10 weeks of doing what we talk about ... he was being chased for the first time in his life.Plus, Jason shares a personal story — a date that fizzled, a year of doing the men&#39;s work, and then reconnecting with the same woman and completely changing the dynamic -- including having sexy time! Not because he looked different. Because he showed up differently.Spoiler: &#34;A man&#39;s looks account for 20% of attraction. The consciousness that animates a man is 80% of it.&#34; And the good news — that 80% is workable.—<h1>Work with us</h1>Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex &amp; love life for good. To see if you&#39;re a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (<a href="https://evolutionary.men/apply/" rel="nofollow">https://evolutionary.men/apply/</a>)—<h3>Memorable quotes from this episode:</h3><ul><li>&#34;If I&#39;m in the friend zone with a woman, can I change it?&#34;</li><li>&#34;I would freeze when it would be time to bring attraction forward.&#34;</li><li>&#34;We know pretty fast whether we&#39;re interested in someone.&#34;</li><li>&#34;There are a lot of guys that know they were attracted to a woman they&#39;re friends with from the moment they met.&#34;</li><li>&#34;Rejection wears you down.&#34;</li><li>&#34;I don&#39;t want to make her uncomfortable, so I&#39;m going to hold that back.&#34;</li><li>&#34;We ended up changing it to a sexual relationship.&#34;</li><li>&#34;By being direct, you&#39;re leading.&#34;</li><li>&#34;I can&#39;t always tell whether I&#39;m attracted to a man until he comes towards me.&#34;</li><li>&#34;You&#39;re just the same man with a nicer car.&#34;</li><li>&#34;I&#39;d never had a woman chase me before.&#34;</li></ul>

414: What to do with, ‘You’re great! …  I just don’t feel attracted to you.’ (ft. Jason Lange)

How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

Advice for smart men on how to succeed with women in sex, dating, relationships, and marriages. Beautiful women give you a peek behind the curtain into what the feminine really craves from the masculine ... and how to give it to us. Personal growth is sexy, haven't you heard? Get in touch at dearmenpodcast@gmail.com. Take our free training for men at https://evolutionary.men/dearmen