Episode #112: What is Therapy Really Supposed To Do?

In this solo episode, I’m standing up for something I care about: therapy. Not because it’s perfect, and not because it works for everyone, but because I keep hearing it dismissed, oversold, or misunderstood by people who haven’t seen what can happen in the room.

We’ve gotten very comfortable with either/or thinking. Carnivore or plant-based. Liberal or conservative. And now therapy is either life-changing or a complete waste of time. Like most things, the truth is more complicated.

I’ll walk you through:

✅ Why therapy isn’t always good or always bad, and what binary thinking costs us

✅ What to actually expect in the room (hint: your therapist is not a guru)

✅ Why a therapist who talks too much, has all the answers, or agrees with everything you say isn’t helping you

✅ The client who told me three months in that he’d been drinking the whole time, and what it taught me about asking directly

✅ Why honesty, even the ugly kind, is what makes a session work

✅ How to tell if you’re stuck: the same conversation every week, or only talking about your spouse

✅ Why “just do something kind for someone” can’t fix everything, and why we’re not all born with the same nervous system

✅ How I run couples therapy, including why I meet with each partner individually after the first 90 minutes

✅ The questions to ask yourself after every session

✅ Why sacrificial love, accountability, and community matter as much as understanding yourself

This one is short on polish. No guest, no framework, just me saying a few things I’ve been wanting to say for a while.

🔔 Therapy won’t hand you the answers. But it might help you hear yourself say them out loud.