&#34;Black. Queer. Unapologetic.&#34; is a podcast created for individuals who live at the intersection of Black and Queer identities, as well as those who feel marginalized or overlooked in mainstream narratives. The podcast aims to speak to people seeking unapologetic truth, empowerment, and a sense of belonging or understanding through personal stories, interviews, and other shared experiences. Topics range from friendships, racism, sex, career, and mental health but ultimately defying social and cultural norms.Want to donate to this show? <a href="https://app.redcircle.com/shows/43782491-2fb1-4555-8603-0ffb622035f2/donations" rel="nofollow">Click here</a>Podcast Instagram: @black.queer.unapologeticPersonal Instagram: @jojoisavibe

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I&#39;ve been unemployed for two months, and dating feels different, lighter, calmer, clearer.In this episode, I talk about how not working became a filter in my dating life, revealing who needs me to be impressive and who can meet me as I am. I unpack the pressure on Black gay men to always be strong, stable, and exceptional. My worth didn’t disappear when my job did.

And dating while unemployed

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I’ve been single for eight years and I’m not ashamed of it. In this episode, I talk about my dating history, why apps feel like a drug, how therapy changed the way I date, and why I refuse to compete for someone who can’t choose me. If you’re single, tired of being questioned, or done entertaining confusion, this one’s for you.

And story time: Single for 8+ years (Why I don’t compete anymore)

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After 19 years of working nonstop, I quit my job, not because I failed, but because I didn’t recognize myself anymore. In this episode, I talk about rejecting perfectionism, burnout, and the pressure to constantly be “better,” especially as a Black person navigating systems that reward overworking and self-erasure. I share what I saw after a decade in HR, how hustle culture became survival conditioning for me, and why I’m choosing wholeness over performance. This isn’t a motivational speech or a quit-your-job fantasy. It’s a reckoning, a reset, and a reminder that success shouldn’t cost you your soul.

And story time: I quit my job/rejecting perfectionism

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This episode is about what happens when success becomes something you perform instead of something you actually live.I talk about the pressure many Black men, queer folks, and people of color grow up carrying the unspoken need to always be “on” to be seen as worthy or safe and how that pressure shows up in careers, dating, and mental health.From tone-policing at work to being “too much” or “not enough” in relationships, this episode explores the quiet exhaustion of constantly proving your value and the moment you realize surviving isn’t the same as living.If you’ve ever done everything right and still felt tired, this conversation is for you.

And tired of performing success

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In this episode, I break down the negative reactions to my Instagram reels about queer representation and how a conversation about “men of color” somehow became a conversation about Black people. I’m talking honestly about the patterns of queer anti-Blackness, the defensiveness I saw, and how media quietly programs desire for young queer people of color by framing love as something that happens closer to whiteness.

And queer anti-Blackness in queer media

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Season 2 is HERE.New clarity. New intention. Same unapologetic conversations. This season we’re diving even deeper into dating, identity, boundaries, hookups, emotional self-awareness, and the messy, nuanced, human experiences we all wrestle with. Thank you for rocking with me, whether you’re Black, Queer, both, or neither. If you’re open-minded, reflective, and ready for more honest conversations? Welcome back.

AND WELCOME BACK

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This year, I’m heading to World Pride not just to celebrate but to take up space. In this episode, I unpack what Pride really means to me in a world that still wants us quiet, small, and scared. From corporate performativity to the weight of shame we’re still unlearning, I’m talking about the power of showing up, being seen, and choosing joy anyway. Pride didn’t start as a party and I’m not treating it like one. Not this year.

And is Pride still necessary?

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What happens when the version of you the world praises… isn&#39;t the full story? In this episode, I’m unpacking the lifelong performance so many of us get trapped in, especially if you&#39;re Black, queer, and navigating corporate systems, family expectations, social media, and survival. From being a queer athlete in the 90 - early 2000s, to managing in Corporate America as a young Black man without a degree, I reflect on how I learned to edit myself for safety, acceptance, and respect — and how I’m learning to stop.We talk work trauma, imposter syndrome, image curation, chasing status, and the fear that being silly, soft, or fully you might cost you everything. Spoiler: it doesn’t.

And performing... for what? (+Imposter Syndrome)

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In this week’s episode, I’m sharing something deeply personal and vulnerable. “and celibate + sober” isn’t just a follow-up to last week’s talk on sexual chemistry—it’s an honest look at what happens when you strip away the sex, the alcohol, the validation, and the constant performance. I talk about what led me to take a break from sex for 90 days and alcohol for 30, how hookup culture left me feeling empty, and the moments that made me realize I was being consumed, not truly seen. From being catfished by a fine-ass dude who didn’t even need to lie, to disappearing men who ghosted the minute I wouldn’t send nude pics or give them sex, this episode is about reclaiming my self-worth without external validation. If you’ve ever questioned your worth when sex or validation is off the table, this one’s for you.

And celibate + sober

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In this episode, I’m joined by my friend Stephan as we get real about recognizing sexual chemistry, owning our sexual positivity, and learning how to trust our bodies — and our boundaries — at parties and beyond. We share the story of how we met at Folsom Weekend in San Francisco, navigating overstimulation, connection, and how sometimes the universe really does line things up perfectly. We talk about the difference between sexual attraction and emotional connection, learning how to take rejection, and why embracing your self-worth and being honest with yourself changes everything in these environments. Whether you&#39;re in the scene, curious, or just love hearing real conversations about sex and self-love, this one&#39;s for you.

And story time - recognizing sexual chemistry + sexual positivity

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In this episode I’m telling a story I never thought I’d say out loud. The time in my twenties when I secretly was hooking up with my friends’ boyfriends.There was no drama. No blowups. No one ever found out. But the real damage? It was what I did to myself.Fresh out of the military and new to the LGBTQ+ community, I was starving for connection. I confused attention with affection, sex with love, and ended up chasing validation from people who were never really mine. This episode isn’t about glorifying those moments—it’s about owning them. It’s a confession, a reflection, and a cautionary tale about what happens when you don’t yet know your worth.

And hooking up with your friends man

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What if “let’s be friends” isn’t kindness but a coping mechanism?In this episode, I&#39;m breaking down what it could mean to be offered friendship after rejection and why you don’t have to accept it. From emotional bread crumbing to self-abandonment disguised as &#34;maturity&#34;, this episode challenges the myth that staying connected is always the “right” thing to do or an act of being the &#34;bigger person&#34;.Let&#39;s explore the difference between being friendly and being friends, the real reason people offer “we can still be friends,” and how we often stay in situationships out of fear, fantasy, or false hope. If you’ve ever felt stuck as someone’s “maybe,” or settled for friendship hoping they’d change their mind, this one is for you.If this episode hits home, share it with a friend and remember: you get to protect your peace.

And rejecting the friendzone

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In this solo episode, I get real about what it’s like to carry imposter syndrome, burnout, and the weight of always needing to be the “strong one.” From hyper-independence, to chasing success to prove my worth, and how that hustle has left me feeling emotionally numb and disconnected from myself.This isn’t just about naming what’s broken, it’s about reclaiming what’s possible. I talk about stepping into my soft guy era, choosing environments where I can be my whole self, and redefining strength as vulnerability, rest, and truth.If you’ve ever felt like you had to be everything for everyone or like your softness made you less than, this one’s for you. Your softness isn’t a weakness. It’s your liberation.

And being in a "Soft Guy Era"

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This is a soft, no outline, no script, no talking points, no guest episode, Where i&#39;m being honest about burnout, writer’s block, and the emotional weight of building something real. After 90 days of podcasting consistency, the fatigue is hitting hard. Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. This episode isn’t a masterclass or a list of tips. It’s a check-in. A reminder that showing up imperfectly is still powerful.I&#39;ll share about the behind-the-scenes emotional labor of making Black. Queer. Unapologetic., the self-imposed pressure to deliver, and what it means to keep creating through exhaustion without abandoning yourself. If you’ve ever felt like your passion was starting to drain you, or like you needed permission to slow down, this one is for you.Because being tired doesn’t mean you’re failing — sometimes, it means you’re growing

And podcasting while tired, but still passionate (Thank you!)

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In this necessary conversation, I sit down with Joseph, a biracial Black and White gay man to talk about the deeply uncomfortable truth behind racial preferences in the queer community. From the casual “no Blacks, no Asians, no This, no That” on dating apps to the fetishization of Black men as sexual objects. Together, we unpack what’s really behind the phrase “it’s just a preference,” and how media and porn have shaped our biases. We also reflect on our own lived experiences being objectified, erased, or hyper-visible for the wrong reasons, and even how people of color internalize anti-Blackness and Eurocentric ideals.This episode doesn’t offer easy solutions. It’s honest. It’s personal experiences. And it’s just the beginning. Because we didn’t even scratch the surface of colorism, internalized racism among POC, or the ways trauma can shape attraction. A Part 2 might be necessary but for now, this is the truth as we’ve lived it.

And racial "preferences", racial requirements, racial fetishes etc. etc.

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Making friends as an adult is hard—but making Black best friends in new cities and unfamiliar spaces? That’s a whole different journey. In this episode, I’m joined by my real-life besties, Nizer and Jamal, as we get into how we found each other, what it means to build deep friendships as Black gay men, and why chosen family hits different.

And making (black) best friends (as an adult)

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Gay bars have always been a staple of queer culture, but for BIPOC folks, the experience isn’t always welcoming. This week, I’m joined by Clif, a DJ and no stranger to the insides of LGBTQ nightlife, to unpack what it’s really like navigating queer nightlife as Black and Brown people. We getting real about the need for truly inclusive spaces for ALL OF US.Are traditional gay bars still serving our community as a whole, or is it time to rethink what safe spaces look like for all of us? Let’s talk about it.

And the gay bars

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Ever wondered what it’s like to go on a gay cruise? Well, I did too—reluctantly. In this episode, I break down my first experience on a gay cruise in 2023, why the marketing didn’t appeal to me as a Black gay man, and how going with a large group just didn’t work for me. But plot twist—I went again in 2024, and this time, I did it my way.From the cost (because, baby, this is not a budget trip) to the different groups and meetups (Bears, veterans, BIPOC, Gaymers, and more), I’m sharing everything I wish I had known before stepping on board. If you’re BIPOC and considering a gay cruise, I’ve got insights on what to expect, how to find your people, and whether it’s worth the hype.And let’s not forget—there’s more than one company out here hosting gay cruises, so if you’re thinking of booking, do your research and find out what works for you!

And story time - The Gay Cruise

https://s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/pod-public-media-files/2025/3/2/2/7c0f2a52-76fd-48c6-b0a0-29679d0c1b75_and_body_image-_beauty_standards__1_.mp3

Have you ever felt like your body wasn’t enough? Like no matter what you did, you were either too much or not enough for the spaces you existed in? In this episode of Black. Queer. Unapologetic., we’re getting real about body image struggles.From the pressures to fit into the ideal gay body—lean, muscular, light-skinned, and hyper-masculine—to the extreme lengths people go to for validation, we’re unpacking the harm, the hustle, and the healing.This is a conversation about learning to see ourselves beyond the way we’re seen. About reclaiming our bodies, rejecting toxic beauty standards, and finding spaces where we’re celebrated—not just tolerated.

And body image/beauty standards

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We’ve spent all February talking about relationships—being single, dating apps, open relationships, hookup culture, and everything in between. But today, we’re closing this series with the most important relationship of all: the one you have with yourself.In this episode, we’re talking about what it really means to fall in love with yourself—not in a superficial or conceited way, but in a way that brings real confidence, peace, and joy. We’re talking about why self-love has to come from within (not external validation), how to recognize when you’re not loving yourself enough, and practical ways to build a healthier, stronger relationship with you.Because when you truly love yourself, you stop settling, you stop chasing validation, and you start living life on your own terms.

And learning to fall in love with yourself

Subscribers get bonus episodes and extended interviews

"Black. Queer. Unapologetic." is a podcast created for individuals who live at the intersection of Black and Queer identities, as well as those who feel marginalized or overlooked in mainstream narratives. The podcast aims to speak to people seeking unapologetic truth, empowerment, and a sense of belonging or understanding through personal stories, interviews, and other shared experiences. Topics range from friendships, racism, sex, career, and mental health but ultimately defying social and cultural norms.

Want to donate to this show? Click here ( https://app.redcircle.com/shows/43782491-2fb1-4555-8603-0ffb622035f2/donations )

Podcast Instagram: @black.queer.unapologetic

Personal Instagram: @jojoisavibe