108 | How Trad Wife Culture Became Aspirational: Ballerina Farm, the Duggars & Leaving Christian Fundamentalism | Tia Levings

Tia Levings knows the reality behind the carefully curated image of the “trad wife.” In this conversation, she joins me to talk about Christian fundamentalism, religious trauma, and the evolution of traditional wife culture—from the Duggars and the early days of blogging to today’s highly polished world of Ballerina Farm.

Rather than retelling the story of her memoir A Well-Trained Wife, we go deeper into the questions her story raises: Why are some people more vulnerable to high-control environments than others? Why can siblings raised in the same family have such different experiences? And what should parents look for when a child is becoming vulnerable to an ideology that asks them to surrender their own judgment?

We talk about Yesteryear, the trad wife phenomenon, and what happens when an ideology becomes beautiful, aspirational, and Instagram-ready. Tia reflects on her own years as a blogger and the complicated question of whether she helped make a particular version of domestic femininity look desirable.

We also explore something more nuanced: the difference between being forced to make, cook, sew, clean, and perform domesticity—and freely choosing to make things by hand. Can activities once associated with control become creative and healing when they are reclaimed through choice and agency?

And because Tia has experienced a remarkable range of therapy, we talk about what she learned from CBT, EMDR, Brainspotting, and grief work, what each offered her, and what she believes actually helps people rebuild trust in themselves after trauma.

We end with one of my favorite ideas from our conversation: the phrase “I’m the type of person who…”—and what it means to begin creating an identity for yourself after spending years being told who you are supposed to be.

In this episode: Tia Levings, A Well-Trained Wife, trad wife culture, Ballerina Farm, the Duggar family, Yesteryear, Christian fundamentalism, religious trauma, high-control relationships, blogging, motherhood, women’s domestic labor, craft and creativity, trauma recovery, CBT, EMDR, Brainspotting, grief, identity, and learning to trust yourself again.

Tia's books are available here.

Learn more about Tia on her website and Instagram.

Lara Land-Wittich, MHC, hosts Beyond Trauma. Lara is an integrative Mental Health Counselor specializing in trauma recovery, anxiety disorders, and life transitions. She works with adult individuals and couples in New York State.