Who is the doer of your life's actions?

Psychotherapy with ACIM

• Teacher, learner, there is no difference, for if you teach about learning, you are parroting dead ideas from the past that may never have happened in reality. If you are only a learner, then you are robbing the process of metabolising what is coming to you so that it can come back in new forms that create even more understanding for the supposed other?
• So teach in order to learn, share with you now and be open to what comes back. Share with you now and pay attention to what you are saying and how you are putting together the information in order to communicate it clearly, because if you do, you will learn. You will learn greatly, as a matter of fact, if you are a teacher in this way. You will learn more than you ever would have been able to learn if you had just considered yourself a learner only.
• So learn in order to teach, because if you are learning with no intention to share, you have a distinct ability to put bits of information or stories in compartments that only solidify prior judgments and ideas that you have, thus missing the whole point of what has been brought to you.
• So when you teach, know that you are receiving as much as you're giving and changing as fast as you are bettering, and that the other's growth is your growth, literally. They are giving you a great gift by being open to learn, but the gift is not theirs. The gift is yours.
• And when you learn, you are also giving the same gift to another, but as you metabolize the information and process it, it can become alive. 

• Text Analysis - Forgiveness and Illusions: Jevon Perra and Soo Kim review a section of "The Song of Prayer," focusing on the nature of forgiveness and how it relates to illusions. They discuss the text's assertion that one should not dictate the form forgiveness takes, noting that the form of illusions does not actually matter, although they acknowledge that humans often struggle because they are attached to specific outcomes and the forms their lives take.
• Spiritual Pursuits and Morality: Jevon Perra contrasts their previous religious experiences, which were based on moral codes and the avoidance of punishment, with their current understanding. They define the new perspective as a shift away from "deserving" punishment toward pursuing contentment, noting that if current methods for finding happiness are not working, they can be abandoned.
• Suffering and Attachment: Jevon Perra notes that suffering often stems from an attachment to specific forms, whether the suffering arises from desiring things one does not have or fearing the loss of things one currently possesses. They conclude that being committed to the "form" of life leads to a cycle of suffering, regardless of whether the person has the desired outcome or not.
• Navigating Projection and Judgments: Soo Kim shares an experience from a medical office where a classmate expressed a desire to live in isolation to avoid people and specific regional groups. Soo Kim reflects on how they previously would have tried to "fix" or lecture the classmate about projections, but instead, they were able to observe the classmate's perspective as a puzzle, choosing to release the need to change the other person.
• Life Challenges as Polishing: Jevon Perra references the Sufi poet Rumi, discussing how life challenges act as a "rub" that polishes the individual, removing rough spots. They note that resistance to these difficulties—such as complaining about family members or people in conversations—is a failure to embrace the process of personal development.
• Acceptance of Family and Friends: The participants discuss the difficulty of interacting with family or friends who hold different beliefs or act in ways they perceive as "wrong". Jevon Perra suggests that rather than trying to change these individuals or fix their problems, one can choose to simply be present with them and let go of the need for the other person to be different.
• Identity, Image, and Projection: Jevon Perra identifies a personal tendency to worry about how they appear to others, which they define as an ego-driven desire for status or respect. They observe that viewing others as "buffoons" or embarrassing is a projection of their own concern about their own image, which causes them significant discomfort.
• The Trap of Saving Others: Soo Kim and Jevon Perra discuss the "savior" complex, where they feel the need to fix or save others. Jevon Perra acknowledges that for years they were caught in the mind, believing they were freeing others while actually attempting to validate their own righteousness and prove they were worthy of love.
• Defining Forgiveness as a Function: Continuing their reading, the participants identify that their only true function is to forgive. They discuss how they frequently confuse this function with other actions, such as trying to save, fix, or overpower others, which are all methods of maintaining separation and control.
• Personality Dynamics and Conflict: Jevon Perra discusses Enneagram type 8 behaviors, noting that these individuals may use their power and anger to "defend the defenseless" or suppress others they view as weak. They observe that this often manifests as a constant need to fight and poke at others to test their worthiness to be heard.
• Scarcity and the Illusion of Time: The participants analyze how business environments, specifically sales, are structured around self-imposed scarcity. Soo Kim mentions a previous discussion regarding time as an illusion and observes that while their classmate used this concept to dismiss professional concerns, they recognize that time—along with other limits—is essential to the current existence and the "game" of the personality.
• Energy and the Personality: Jevon Perra suggests that individuals spend an immense amount of energy maintaining the "personality," which they describe as a tiny peephole through which the larger self views reality. They note that this intense focus intentionally blinds people to the broader "happening" of life, as if they are orchestrating a complex, precise operation through a narrow aperture.
• Somatic Experiences and Sound Bath: Soo Kim recounts a recent experience playing a new gong, describing how they were able to enter a state where time seemed to disappear. They note that after this intense meditative state, they felt disconnected from social norms and had difficulty engaging in typical linear conversations.
• Flow States and Social Engagement: Jevon Perra compares spiritual "out of body" flow states to stage fright, noting that stage fright involves being hyper-aware of the body, while flow involves being hyper-detached. They observe that when one identifies with the "bigger self" and lets go of the personality, it becomes difficult to maintain the distinct boundaries of right and wrong, good and bad, which makes social interactions more challenging.
• Final Text Review and Forgiveness: The participants complete their reading of the section, emphasizing that forgiveness is the key to opening the door to the "shining face of Christ" and seeing one's brother as they were created. Jevon Perra reiterates that the people who cause the most internal resistance are the very ones triggering the projection of separation, and the goal is to stop projecting these judgments.
• Reframing Life Circumstances: Jevon Perra concludes that life situations, such as dealing with a spouse or community, are not meant to make one "happy" in the conventional sense, but rather serve as opportunities to surface internal judgments. They argue that the focus should be on recognizing these judgments and the subsequent discomfort to release them, rather than trying to fix the world.

Conclusion of Study and Reflection: The participants determine they have been studying this material for 11 months, noting that they began the process around last July. Soo Kim expresses appreciation for Jevon Perra's patience and the journey they have shared, and Jevon Perra confirms the value of the partnership in their own process of forgiveness and seeing beauty

go here for the youtube video to see images in this explainer.

https://youtu.be/oQqfsvwwt6E?si=4SzX44Ud9fnlxqTl

this is how to arrive at contentment. it's more simple than you think. it's closer than you can imagine.

Why Your Plans Never Work. This is AI generated podcast from my notes below. pretty fancy!

• Experiential constancy. What if the baseline of your experience of life is already set? There is an experience that we have that stays relatively constant because the stimulus required to get there changes as you evolve. If you're unaware, you can go through a lot of bad stuff and you have a particular experience: relatively happy, relatively sad, relatively angry, and so on. As you evolve, you notice more of the junk in life and correct many mistakes. In doing so, you become more sensitive to your stimulus around you. Even though you're cleaning up your world, so to speak, you retain the same experience and equilibrium, a pre-set equilibrium that stays the same as you do the work to change your surroundings. So changing your surroundings won't make you happy, because the more you change it, the more sensitive you get. The smaller amount of what you do not want gives you a bigger reaction because you are more sensitive and in tune, and it keeps you in the same baseline experience. So instead of trying to change the world and change yourself, work on just being happy, exactly as you are. Work on being peaceful, exactly as everything is. Be content right now. There's nothing else to do. You can try to make a difference so you can be content another time. Wherever you go, there you are. It won't work. All you have is now. Might as well do it now. Might as well be content now. What if life did not get better than it is right now, ever? What if this is it? Would you find contentment now? If None of those pursuits matter or can end state can be changed by changing the external stimulus, then contentment now is the Highest goal and the highest state.
• As an example, let's say you live a selfish life and you have some sort of epiphany that your selfish desires won't make you happy, and so you switch it up and decide that loving service delivers contentment and it is a much better life. You decide, however, now that you are concerned for others and you desire service for others instead of taking for others for your selfish gain. You start to become aware of everyone else's needs and the suffering outside of yourself.
• 
  
• This new awareness creates a new level of suffering because you've actually cared for these people that are suffering. It can't change. We realized you can't change other people's experiences, even if you give them what they say they want. It's a bit of a trap, thinking that satiating your desire will create less desire. You realize that feeding desire when it wants it only creates more desire. This is true if your desire is for selfish gain or if your desire is to serve someone else's desires. It becomes clear that to be content, you must free yourself from desire in general. How do you do that? By accepting that all of life, as it is and as it's coming to you, is perfect and that you want nothing else. You want only what you have. You want only who you are. You want only what others have and are.
• Only wanting what is, as it is now, is only possible if you can see past the small character that so many of us think we are: our small ego, this tiny, constrained bit of awareness that is within a tiny mind. That's called a personality that we optimistically is inside a body. If we think we are that and we think others are that, we will never be free from desire. The reason for this is that the whole Ego's Mantra is: "Seek but do not find." It wants you to keep searching because it has to create separation boundaries between them and us, boundaries between me and God, boundaries between what I have and what I want. There have to be boundaries, or else the made-up separations would start to fall apart. Once that starts falling apart, the made-up separation of a separate special self would also eventually fall apart. Even though we suffer because of it, we cherish our separate special self because we think it's us. To lose it would be like dying, like annihilation, and even though we suffer, we think it's better to suffer than to be annihilated.
• So how do I get out? The only way is to increase my awareness. I have to expand my view past the blinders that I put up to keep me within a tiny separate personality in a tiny brain, all supposedly in a tiny body. When I expand my vision, I realize that I can look upon this tiny personality and tiny body in order to be able to observe something from the outside. It presupposes that there's something outside to be able to do the observing. I would not be able to watch myself do painful things unless there was something outside that self that is doing the watching. This watcher is a bigger part of myself. What is it? Is it consciousness? Is it my soul? Are they ethereal or astral bodies? I'm not sure what it is, but I know it's bigger than this little personality. I know it's a bit comforting because the personality seems to be set at a certain level of happiness, but that bigger self is free from that. This self that is able to watch and be indifferent to anything that happens is free already and is content already. This bigger self cannot gain or lose. This self that watches cannot be hurt. This self that watches cannot be born and cannot die. This self that watches is already in the state that I want to end up being. It is already content, as the ego is set in its experience and can't move. It can't really get more content than it already is, no matter what it desires. The self that watches is almost so set, it is set in contentment, it is set in peace. So my goal is not to achieve desires or help other people or be anything or achieve anything or help anything, any of that. My goal, if I want to be content is to relate more with the self that watches than the self that is constrained. The more I relate to the self that watches and the less I relate to the ego, the small personality, the more content I will be.
• There's nothing to do to achieve this shift in intention. That's all it is. Do I intend to be an ego that isn't seeking and achieving, or do I intend to be aware that I am the self that watches? That shift changes my world instantly. That shift freezes all. That shift is salvation. That shift transforms me into an eternal with no boundaries, no wants, nothing that has to be achieved, no goals that will add, or failures that will take away. How do I do it? The first step that you have to do to start to shift your intention and awareness is just to start to watch. Watch yourself choose being the ego that suffers. Watch yourself choose being the goals that are achieved and you get momentary relation, or are lost and you get suffering, frustration, anger, all the lower frequency experiences. The more you watch yourself the more you can see when you start to choose, separation versus choosing one missing connection. The ego needs separation to keep the distinctions between this and that me and them the distinctions and the boundaries are necessary and a scarce world with one thing is valuable, and one thing is not those distinctions and separations is the root of my suffering because the goal mark is continually removed and it's designed but even if I get there it's instantly moved to another goal, so I will always seek but never find. I've watched myself, and it will soon be comical that you do this to yourself over and over, even though it becomes quite obvious that it will only end in suffering and frustration and anger and fear. It is even sad once you see the game you've been playing, because the promise the ego has been giving you your entire remembered life is a lie.
• Instead, watch and release the impulse as it comes that the new goal will make you happy and complete and content. Remind yourself that it will not. There's nothing wrong with pursuing goals. The body has nothing much else to do. Just remember that if you're attached to the result of the goal, you will be disappointed and you will suffer. If you are attached to something not happening or attached to something happening, you will suffer and you will not achieve contentment. If you pursue goals and need nothing different to happen, then things could be fun.
• Make life a game. Play it like you would play with a kid where you want the kid to win. Play the game so that you understand the strategy and get the intricacies and learn how it works. I don't need an outcome. In fact, you can play the game like I often do with my kids and my wife, so that you hope the other person will win. That way the other person will have some joy and happiness because they think they achieved something that they lacked, while you know that no achievement will ever bring you contentment. You can just enjoy playing a game with another supposedly separate person. There is much joy in that. It cannot be taken away.
• Put your effort and your attention in the things that cannot be taken away. That you cannot lose, that you cannot gain. Anything that could be gained or lost will eventually be gained or lost in a repeated cycle that can never be stopped. Anything that cannot be lost, or cannot be gained, you can never lose, will always be yours so intricately that it is actually you, not a possession. The reality, in the end, is that you are the contentment that you seek. The quote "Know thyself" is this age-old pursuit to find who you have always been. It's easier than we think. It's like looking for water standing in a clear river and looking for sand lost in the desert, or the way of looking for the ocean. The only thing that separates us is our definition and separate ideas. Our judgments that this is this and that is that keep us separate. That's all it is. I made up ideas and I made up judgments. The wave is not separate from the ocean unless I call it a wave and the thing below it an ocean. Now suddenly there are two things, but this is not reality.
• How do I be happy? How do I be content? I must give up all my pursuits. I must give up even my pursuit of being me, or at least the separate me that is a personality, that has a name, that was born and will die. But again, give up what you never were, and that is not much of a loss. Who are you? You are closer to the one who watches. At least it's a way out of this trap, the ego trap, the separate world trap. This is classical enlightenment, but it is not the end. But it is simple, so why wouldn't we not do it? I'm not sure. It seems that they want the experience and fun time feeling like we were suffering and in danger and scarce.

Just like we watch movies with drama, they will not watch a movie with no drama, no suspense. Joseph Campbell's hero's journey is this classic arche that human's love, starting in obscurity I'm moving to some kind of failure and being thrust into an adventure when I didn't want to, and finding the hero within, and then achieving some kind of crazy other failure and relying on some kind of outside source mentor that helps them become who they never thought they could be, and then coming back, getting some side of success then get into even deeper trouble when everyone thinks all is lost, and at the very end they step into their full power and save the day. This is the hero's journey, and we love it. We love the drama, we love the pain. We want the arc from obscurity to newfound power to supposed failure, to retribution and success. When we're done, we like to start over somewhere else. This is the ego. It's what it loves to do. So, don't be mad at the ego for doing what it does.

Just shift your awareness to your bigger self and watch the ego do what it does. Just like a good movie, you might even start to enjoy the show. The only reason you wouldn't is if you think you are that ego or that body. But the ego is stuck. That part of you that has a name will not get to the end it thinks it's going to. It will always fail. It has to, to stay alive. Good news though, that's not you. You are the watcher. Once you see there's nothing to do and all there is to watch, all of life can be a game. Be content now. Play the game and make the risks. Why not? It's fun. Add a little drama. You can't lose. 

Weaponize Being Good

These documents summarize a series of spiritual teachings and professional marketing plans focused on self-realization and personal growth. The core philosophy emphasizes raising one’s internal frequency through techniques like forgiveness, gratitude, and viewing all life experiences as divine lessons. The notes integrate concepts from various teachers to encourage a shift from ego-based suffering to a state of contentment and non-attachment. Alongside these metaphysical insights, the text outlines detailed business strategies for launching a spiritual novel and podcast. These tasks include pitching to influencers, managing digital marketing platforms, and seeking literary agents or film producers. Ultimately, the collection serves as both a philosophical guide for achieving enlightenment and a professional roadmap for sharing those ideas with a wider audience.

Song of Prayer - chapt 2 part two, Forgiveness to Destroy.

The Nature of Forgiveness to Destroy: Soo Kim read a passage describing "Forgiveness to Destroy" as having many forms, serving as a weapon of the world of form, with the goal of separating and making unequal what God created as equal. This form of forgiveness can appear as a better person condescending to a baser one with an attitude of gracious lordliness, which is far from love. Jevon Perra summarized this as the ego seeing difference, while the Holy Spirit sees sameness, where one person recognizes another's "badness" but lets it slide from a perceived superior position.

Connection to Religious Practices: The discussion connected the concept of "Forgiveness to Destroy" to the practice of confession in Catholicism, which Jevon Perra suggested can be engaged on a high level by realizing the ego's actions are not one's own. Jevon Perra noted that the challenge is when individuals associate themselves with their negative actions, implying "I did the bad thing so I am bad". Soo Kim agreed with Jevon Perra's point that one can recognize the practice as part of a game, regardless of what others may be implying.

Generalizing Judgments and Seeking Sameness: Jevon Perra shared how past negative experiences led them to generalize hurt over groups like "church people" or "Catholics," and confirmed that holding an idea that anything outside of them is bad creates separation and suffering. The core assignment is sincerely finding the things that are the same between them and the "offender".

Individual vs. Institutional Blame: Soo Kim noted their tendency to focus on the institution or "the whole day" rather than the individual when assigning blame. Jevon Perra agreed that there is ultimately no "they" or institution that can hurt someone unless a person representing that institution does or says something, and the work must focus on recognizing sameness in the person.

Innocence and Human Dynamic: Jevon Perra used the example of their dog, Kobe, who sees only best friends and brings out the best in others, illustrating how the Holy Spirit only sees itself. They suggested preparing for the human dynamic by recognizing one’s own suffering and ways of dealing with the ego, which often leads to enrolling in organizations that make others bad so one can be in the "good" one. Jevon Perra concluded that judging is like the natural "fruit" of people, and everyone is making up their reality.

Grace and Forgiving the Offender: Jevon Perra asserted that people growing painful judgments are "stuck" unless they receive "grace from God" or the Holy Spirit helps them. They suggested having grace because the offender is "just a judgment growing thing" and is doing the same thing as the observer, allowing them to see the innocence of the true self.

Worship Music and Recontextualization: Jevon Perra noted that seeing others as innocent makes experiences like going to mass or listening to worship music less painful than before. They can now recontextualize worship as a positive reaching out to adore the creator, without associating it with the belief in something outside of themself that needs to save them.

Internal Conflict Over Principle: Soo Kim expressed difficulty in feeling what they want to do because they are used to thinking in terms of principles, such as honoring their mother and father by attending mass, which conflicts with their principle of standing for truth. Jevon Perra clarified that one can still adhere to broader principles, like choosing sameness over difference.

Protecting Beliefs and Suffering: Soo Kim described feeling the need to put on a "protective layer" in church to avoid being infected by the "poppycck" and reinforced the belief that the church enforces separation. Jevon Perra challenged this by asking who is making them suffer when they protect their separate identity and right idea of God.

The Illusion of Institutions: Jevon Perra and Soo Kim discussed the difficulty of not generalizing the church as "them" when the message is scripted and enforced, but Jevon Perra maintained that there is no "they" or system, only the self. Jevon Perra argued that suffering from external ideas, like people dying in Somalia, is one's own internal suffering from the idea, and feeling bad does not help.

Forgiveness as Seeing Innocence: Jevon Perra concluded that forgiveness is not about saying "I forgive you, you're still a piece of s\*\\*\*, but I'm gonna let it slide," but rather forgiving someone because they are innocent. The feeling of offense relies on the context being true—that the other person is an outsider doing irreparable bad—which leads to suffering, and "Forgiveness to Destroy" gives an excuse to destroy instead of love.

• finished verse seven in the "forgiveness of yourself" chapter, "Song of Psalms". start reading verse eight next
• Interpretation of Forgiveness and Society: Soo Kim shared that the concept of forgiveness was starting to "click" for them, noting that it felt like an "upside down world" compared to what they are taught by society. Jevon Perra agreed that the teaching is counterintuitive because society promotes the idea of a "special separate thing" that will find happiness in its separateness, which they identified as the source of suffering.
• The Nature of Personal Accomplishment: Jevon Perra discussed how personal accomplishment will not lead to ultimate happiness, citing this as a sad epiphany. They explained that the fun part is starting a new venture and the complete fantasy of success, as well as the ability to "completely lose myself" and forget their separate self in the activity.
• Separation and the Illusion of Self: Jevon Perra likened the effort to maintain separateness—which is the darkness, guilt, and separation—to running a "fog machine" that prevents them from seeing the truth. They referenced a show at Disneyland that projects an image onto a wall of mist, stating that the mist is essential to get lost and deceived in the image.
• Reading and Interpretation of Verse Nine and Ten: Soo Kim read verses nine and ten, which discuss that forgiveness is the key, but one must first find the door for which the key was made. The text states that the concept of "forgiveness to destroy" must be cleansed of its hateful goals and unveiled in its treachery before it can be let go, allowing learning to be complete.
• Defining "Forgiveness to Destroy": Jevon Perra defined "forgiveness to destroy" as forgiving someone while still viewing them as an offender or enemy. This practice keeps the separation alive, reinforcing the idea of a special, separate self with separate desires, leading to a zero-sum game where suffering persists.
• Achieving Acceptance and Moving Past Separation: Soo Kim suggested that acceptance, or "radical acceptance," is necessary to move past separateness, which involves recognizing that others are acting from a place of innocence. Jevon Perra questioned what "innocent" means in the context of bad behavior, and Soo Kim clarified that innocence refers to their essence, or the place where people are the same.
• Morality and the Lack of Inherent Meaning in Actions: Jevon Perra argued that morality sets up a world of polarity, where good and bad actions are defined by cultural context, suggesting that no action has inherent meaning. They asserted that morality is not an ultimate way to achieve happiness, though it can serve as a "good architecture" to build from and later be torn down, similar to developing the ego before one can overcome it.
• The Practice of Saying "I Am God": Jevon Perra mentioned using the mantra "I am God," noting that to speak this truth, one must be in the correct state, not operating from a separate, egoic perspective. They explained that this requires shifting from "spotlight vision"—which focuses on details and success/failure—to "flood light vision," which is peripheral and expanded.
• Personality and the Experience of Suffering: Jevon Perra described the personality as a program of reoccurring thoughts and beliefs that can be recoded, but which remains separate. They observed that when operating in the "spotlight" or laser version of awareness, they suffer, and freedom is instantly felt when they expand to the wide "flood light" perspective.

Discussion of Martial Arts Practice: Soo Kim inquired about Jevon Perra's martial arts practice, and Jevon Perra clarified that they used to practice Jiu-Jitsu but now practice a Tai Chi-type martial arts style, possibly combined with Aikido, called "push hands". Jevon Perra extended an invitation to Soo Kim to join their Sunday practice at Edison Park in Huntington at 8:00 a.m.

Analysis of Enneagram Type One Characteristics: Denise Darlene identified that Soo Kim's patterns, such as the fear of being judged, point to perfectionism rooted in the anxiety of not doing things "right". Jevon Perra and Denise Darlene confirmed Soo Kim's Enneagram type as a One, describing this type as the "critic" trapped in "right and wrong, black and white, good and bad," which makes Soo Kim's profession as an underwriter "perfect". The process of determining the Enneagram type was "arduous," as Soo Kim displayed the language of both a One and a Three (achievement-oriented), but the underlying "why" was stronger in the One.

The Concept of Freedom and Integration: The primary takeaway word for Soo Kim from the retreat was "freedom," specifically freedom *from* judgments and freedom *for* peace. Denise Darlene noted that integration for a One involves moving toward Seven, which manifests as becoming more playful and 35% less serious. Soo Kim, however, admitted to still being very serious and calculating when riding their bike in a group, worrying about being in the "exact perfect position," which Denise Darlene confirmed indicated that they were "not there yet" in terms of integration.

Retreat Capacity and Upcoming Schedule: Denise Darlene noted that the retreat was successful because Soo Kim received the necessary individual attention, stating that they would not have been able to go as deep if the other two expected attendees had come. They then clarified that the next repeat visitor is not coming until the 15th, giving a break from retreat work, but added that they still have other responsibilities like packing Cat’s house and helping a friend move. Denise Darlene prefers only one or two people per month for retreat work, noting that the mental engagement required is challenging.

**Starting the Chapter on Forgiveness in *A Song of Prayer***: The group decided to begin reading Chapter 2, "Forgiveness," from *A Song of Prayer* and, at Soo Kim's suggestion, started with the introduction, which they had read previously. The discussion began with the idea that forgiveness has been misunderstood and that guilt becomes a form of salvation for the ego because it sustains separation and suffering. Jevon Perra explained that the ego views forgiveness or love as something to avoid because it would disrupt separation.

Forgiveness to Destroy versus True Forgiveness: The reading and discussion defined "forgiveness to destroy" as the ego's version, which seeks out and judges errors while overlooking love. This version is equated with the traditional religious figure who requires penance and makes the recipient feel bad, using the idea of forgiveness for a "selfish gain". Denise Darlene explained that the ego believes unforgiveness keeps one safe by holding others captive, but this safety is an illusion because true safety is the "opposite of everything we are taught".

The Power of Defenselessness and Innocence: Jevon Perra discussed the "unstoppable power of defenselessness," clarifying that true defenselessness exists only when there is nothing to defend. This concept aligns with the idea that there is "nothing to forgive," as the wrongdoing "never happened," which is what true forgiveness entails. Denise Darlene pointed out that the difficulty in applying these concepts stems from being conditioned, and Soo Kim reflected that their natural, conditioned response is vigilance.

Forgiveness as a Self-Correction and Happy Illusion: Soo Kim read the passage stating that forgiveness is always for oneself, as one can only see their own sins in another, making the forgiveness of another an illusion. Denise Darlene applied this to Soo Kim's concerns, explaining that their fear of being judged is actually a reflection of their own judgments, and one cannot see others as innocent until they see their own innocence. Jevon Perra added that forgiveness operates by getting out of the ego's agenda, recognizing that the "offense" came from one's own projection device.

The Necessity of Asking for Christ's Vision: Soo Kim read that forgiveness truly given is the only hope for freedom, and Christ’s vision looks past error to see the Christ in you. Jevon Perra emphasized that prayer cannot be released to heaven while "forgiveness to destroy" (the egoic agenda) remains, noting that this "low residence" creates a stressful life and hinders communion. The solution is to ask for help from a greater source, as Denise Darlene highlighted, requiring only a "little bit of willingness to shift".

ACIM Song of Prayer

Reading and Interpretation of "Prayer is a way to true humility": Soo Kim read the passage on humility, which they noted brings peace because it removes the need to "rule the universe, nor judge all things". Jevon Perra reflected that their personal struggle often stems from judging things as they "shouldn't be" instead of accepting them as they are.

Humility and Laying Down of Judgment: Denise Darlene defined humility as the laying down of judgment, contrasting it with the ego's claim to "know everything" and the way things should be. Soo Kim observed that it is difficult to let go of the need to be right, especially if validation depended on it during childhood.

Suffering as a Choice and for Connection: Denise Darlene shared a personal experience where they recognized that they chose suffering, realizing it allowed them to connect with others and receive special treatment or attention. They were later able to lay down suffering when they could no longer find a "good reason to continue to suffer".

The Illusion of Future Accomplishment: Jevon Perra reflected that their suffering centers around preparing and accomplishing in the belief that it will lead to "enough". They had an insight that future accomplishment would ultimately feel the same as the present moment, realizing the suffering exists only because they believe they do not currently have what they need.

The Pain of Ending Struggle: Jevon Perra acknowledged that they enjoy the pursuit and accomplishment, which has become tied to their identity and sense of lovability. They noted that letting go of this struggle and suffering can also be painful while the old pattern is "dying," but freedom follows the "death of it".

Illusions and Humility Cannot Coexist: Soo Kim read that "Illusions and humility have goals so far apart they cannot coexist". Jevon Perra elaborated that illusions are created when attention is projected outward, making what has been projected seem real, which prevents the engagement of humility.

Humility as Power Under Constraint: Jevon Perra shared the definition of humility as "power under constraint," like a broken horse that is still powerful but controlled and safe. They related this to spiritual identity, where power comes from an eternal nature that already has everything and does not need to earn love.

Waking Up to Reality and the Shift in Focus: Jevon Perra used the analogy of mistaking a rope for a snake in the dark to illustrate that waking up means not buying into the illusion, even though the physical object remains. They noted that the normal human activity is to look for differences and cherish "specialness," which is tied to scarcity.

Scarcity Versus Abundance: Jevon Perra contrasted the world's value system, where scarcity equals value (like gold), with the godly things, where abundance and commonality lead to contentment. They proposed that the suffering created by separation and uniqueness dissolves when one recognizes the "God stuff" that makes up everyone.

Seeing Innocence in Others: Jevon Perra suggested that seeing an enemy as oneself, as another unique expression of God stuff, allows for the perception of innocence, even in figures like Hitler. This realization leads to the understanding that one "can't go without" anyone, as they are all part of the self.

The Story of Byron Katie and Oneness: Jevon Perra recounted the story of Byron Katie, who looked into the eyes of a man threatening them with a gun and loved them, seeing "sameness". Denise Darlene also shared a story about Katie after she was released from a facility, demonstrating a total lack of separation where she saw everything as one and was willing to give away her house.

Recommendation of Byron Katie's Work: Denise Darlene highly recommended listening to Byron Katie's audio book, *Loving What Is*. Jevon Perra mentioned that Katie's story involves an enlightening experience where they lost their separate identity and became one with everything, teaching others to "love reality".

The Conclusion of "The latter ends": Soo Kim read the concluding passage that states learning is no longer needed when one stands at the gate of heaven with their brother beside them, and time ends forever. Prayer is completed because the individual has recognized the Christ in themself.

Heaven and the Concept of Salvation: Denise Darlene reflected on the beauty of the conclusion, stating that heaven cannot exist without everyone present, challenging the religious idea that one could be happy in heaven while others are in hell. Jevon Perra noted the data is "mounting" that they do not know their own best interest.

ACIM - reading in the Song of Prayer. Chapter 3, Verse 5

Reading and Interpretation of "Song of Prayer" Verse 5: The group returned to their reading, starting with Song of Prayer, Chapter 3, Verse 5. Jevon Perra interpreted the text through the analogy of life as an "open hand," where pain and suffering arise from gripping too tightly to things they love or fighting things they dislike. Freedom comes from being willing to accept or lose everything, which releases internal fighting against the world.

Prayer for Goals and the Cost of Enemies: Soo Kim read a passage stating that prayers for external gifts like things, status, or human love are requests that set up "jailers" and hide guilt, distorting the purpose of prayer. These lesser goals are lost in the quest for God and turn prayer into requests for enemies, with the crucial point that "All other goals are at the cost of God". Jevon Perra explained that their own prayer or judgment creates the enemies in their life, such as an inconsiderate mother or an idiot driver, highlighting how they trade "heaven for some silly thing" like being mad in traffic over a small distance.

Serving One Master and Expansive vs. Contracted States: Soo Kim connected the idea of trading goals for God to the biblical concept that "you can only serve one master," as they are polar opposites. The group concluded that this is because the two paths are incompatible: one leads to an expansive energetic state and the other to a contracted state. Brian Genovese interjected, asking if the *Course of Miracles* principle involves using the Holy Spirit as the instrument of guidance.

The Holy Spirit and Blaming God for Suffering: Jevon Perra affirmed that the Holy Spirit is the voice of God and the only true source of guidance in the dream of life. Brian Genovese questioned whether negative impulses, such as road rage, should be checked against the Holy Spirit. The speakers discussed the common tendency to blame God for bad things, noting that, in the context of the course, suffering is a "fantasy perception" based on the belief in bodies that can die and lose things.

The Value of Suffering and Comparison in Perception: Jevon Perra argued that many painful experiences, like horror movies or intense drama, are enjoyed when framed in the "right context," but disliked when they violate a personal preference. The conversation related this to the *Truman Show*, where a character orchestrates their life only to reject it. Soo Kim affirmed that comparison is necessary for the human brain to define what it likes, establishing a "baseline".

Suffering and Baseline Adjustment: The group agreed that difficulty and suffering can be valuable for creating a new baseline, allowing people to appreciate a simpler life. The discussion moved to the idea that the brain requires contrast, like the experiment where kittens failed to develop the ability to see certain patterns without prior exposure. Similarly, Aboriginal people raised in the jungle could not assimilate the sight of the ocean and ships because they had no "far away things" in their experience.

Life as an Adventurous Dream: Jevon Perra presented an analogy of life as an adventurous dream chosen by the dreamer, where they eventually opt to experience even things like being "the loser" or "a failure" for the sake of adventure, which suggests that there is "no enemy" and that everything is "from God".

Praying with Others and the Release of Differences: Soo Kim read the next passage, "Praying with others," stating that joining in prayer becomes possible once the need to see the other as an enemy is questioned. The barrier to shared goals is "difference," while the vision of Christ relies on "similarities". Jevon Perra observed that humans are "difference machines," obsessed with tiny variations, which leads to judgment, whereas focusing on sameness can lead to finding friends and common ground.

The Role of Separateness and Evolution in Thinking: Jevon Perra suggested that the base ingredient for suffering is thinking oneself as separate, and suffering is proportional to how tightly one holds onto the belief in their separateness. They contrasted the traditional mindset of working 40 years for retirement with the contemporary thinking of younger generations, who expect abundance now, suggesting this is a beneficial "evolution in thinking".

The True Aim of Prayer: Cause and Forgiveness: Soo Kim read a final passage, which emphasized that those who pray together should ask "what is the will of God," because praying for specifics or effects without the proper cause is insufficient. Jevon Perra interpreted the text to mean that the "cause" for happiness is not the desired "effect" (the list of things to be happy), but rather "forgiveness," which is the release of judgment that can happen immediately.

Releasing the Present from Past Illusions: The final passage read by Soo Kim stated that praying for specifics is asking to repeat the past, but the aim of prayer is to "release the present from its chains of past illusions" and to accept the newborn chance to free oneself from all constraints. Jevon Perra affirmed this as a profound conclusion.

The Transitory Nature of Earthly Desires: Soo Kim and Jevon Perra discussed that everything time-bound eventually crumbles into dust, suggesting that external solutions derived from earthly desires will not ultimately fulfill them. Jevon Perra used the example of their two young sons, Charlie and Oliver, noting that Charlie only wants whatever Oliver possesses, demonstrating a comparison-based desire that changes constantly.

The Illusion of Happiness Through Comparison: Jevon Perra explained that this external comparison model is applied to adult life, where people seek happiness based on what they observed in the past or in others. They cited social media as an example, where posted pictures of apparent happiness often conceal intense effort, conflict, and pleading used just to capture the image. This external viewing leads others to wish for the "happy life" they see, even if the person in the picture is simultaneously wishing for a different life.

• Beginning the Discussion on Praying for Others: The group shifted topics to "A Course in Miracles," specifically "The Song of Prayer," and began reading the section "Praying for Others". The reading established that prayer is always for oneself, and prayer for others, when rightly understood, helps the individual release projections of guilt from their sibling. Jevon Perra noted that the idea of praying for others is sometimes approached with a "scarcity mentality," believing that giving prayer diminishes one's own benefit.
• The Projection of Guilt and the Creation of Enemies: Jevon Perra discussed how the perception of an enemy is a self-creation, similar to the placebo effect, where one creates an experience of "enemy" instead of "friend". They shared a story of a town guru who was saddened by the death of the town's antagonist, stating the "a-hole" was their best friend and teacher for revealing the guru's remaining judgments. Jevon Perra concluded that the world is a projection, suggesting that sickness and wellness are experiences created from within.
• The Fear of Annihilation and Cherishing Guilt: The conversation returned to the idea that people "cherish our guilt" because the world is projected from this guilt, which is tied to the fear of annihilation or the end of a separate, special self. Jevon Perra explained that wishing hell on another means that the state of wishing hell must come through oneself first, so freeing one's sibling also brings salvation to themself. Brian Genovese connected this to the ego-building competition often seen in churches regarding who has "saved" the most people.
• Prayer and Vengeful God: Soo Kim read that the lowest forms of prayer are fueled by envy and malice, calling for vengeance, and asking upon a "vengeful God" who seems to answer them. Jevon Perra noted that those who are in hell can ask for help, but those who have accepted forgiveness could never make such a prayer. The group also discussed how religious systems often create a multi-level marketing scheme, where the highest levels of spiritual attainment are always just out of reach.
• The Internal Source of Love and Experience: Denise Darlene emphasized that feelings of love, compassion, and kindness come through the individual, not from outside sources. Jevon Perra agreed that assigning an external source to determine one's love is the flaw in romantic notions. Denise Darlene used the analogy of a person smoking in front of a mirror and telling the reflection to quit, illustrating that the reflection (external reality) will not change until the person (internal state) changes first.
• Self-Regulation and External Judgment: Soo Kim asked about the feeling of seeing someone else doing what one self-regulates against, such as having an emotional meltdown that derails a class discussion. Jevon Perra identified this as basic projection, where one's own unallowed behavior is projected onto others. Denise Darlene suggested Soo Kim research the Enneagram type one, the "reformer," to understand the patterns of the ego that limit their experience and struggles with justice.
• The Enneagram and Temperament: Soo Kim acknowledged that their results on the Enneagram test had been inconsistent in the past, unlike their consistent Myers-Briggs results. Jevon Perra explained that the Enneagram identifies dominant "go-to" temperaments that are helpful for framing one's behavior without the heaviness of being identified *as* the anger. Jevon Perra further discussed three ways the "Course" can be used: as magic to get what is wanted, for personality development, and ultimately, to realize that one is "none of it".
• The Value of the "Don't Know Mind": The conversation shifted to the importance of approaching life with an "innocent mind" and avoiding the assignment of meaning or judgment. Brian Genovese related this to the biblical story of Adam and Eve, who were innocent until they ate the apple, which represented the knowledge of judgment. Denise Darlene suggested the practice of being a "witness" to the "movie" of life, where everything is neutral until one places meaning upon it.
• Innocence, Wonder, and Social Constructs: Denise Darlene spoke about the innocence and wonder of a baby's mind, which operates in a state of hypnosis and curiosity before being programmed by the world. Jevon Perra noted that societal constructs force people to adhere to predetermined agreements to be "a little bit miserable" all the time, preventing expressions of love and joy with strangers. Soo Kim related the concept of the "don't know mind" to the relief experienced during travel or intense practices like Bufo, which cause temporary identity loss.
• The Ego's Security and the Invitation to Trust: Denise Darlene stated that the ego bases its security on the belief that it knows, and acknowledging "I don't know" raises the fear of the unknown. This fear of the unknown is described as an invitation to trust and merge with the "I am". Soo Kim recounted a negative classroom experience of a classmate screaming and accusing others of racism, which Denise Darlene reframed as potentially the "best thing for them to do" as a teacher, setting up a lesson.
• Experiences of Childhood Conditioning and Attachment: Denise Darlene recounted an experience with a 70-year-old participant in their women's spiritual group who had a difficult childhood, which included a cruel mother and an attempted killing by their father at age three. This individual, who is an atheist, had never trusted anyone and believed that opening up for a friendship would inevitably lead to loss, resulting in non-attachment to any human or animal. Denise Darlene contrasted this with their own similar experience that led them toward love, suggesting that they both required the specific teachers they had, possibly chosen before birth, for their soul's mission.
• The Metaphorical Story of the Angel and Forgiveness: Jevon Perra shared an incomplete story about two angels, one of whom wanted to experience forgiveness. The story outlines that in order to experience forgiveness, one must have something to forgive, which requires the cooperation of a second angel who must commit an act worthy of forgiveness. The second angel agrees to play this necessary role, but the first angel is cautioned that the second angel will forget they are an angel and that the first angel must remember that the second angel is a friend and an angel there to love them.
• Alternative Perspective on Adversity and Roles: The story’s gist is that people, including those perceived as "assholes" or attackers, are playing a crucial role by accepting a large personal cost to provide others with a necessary experience. Denise Darlene agreed that this perspective is sacrificial and supported the idea of adopting perspectives that are empowering rather than limiting, regardless of their literal truth. They suggested that these alternative viewpoints allow for a happier or better experience concerning the idea of love.

Spoiler, it's surrender.

Locating the Reading Material: The participants confirmed they were reading "The Song of Prayer," located behind the manual for teachers in *A Course in Miracles*. Soo Kim identified the current section as the top of page four, specifically chapter two, "The Ladder of Prayer," starting at paragraph four.

• Reading on Praying for One's Enemies: Soo Kim read a passage describing the contradiction of "praying for one's enemies". The passage explains that the contradiction lies not in the words but in the interpretation, suggesting that having enemies limits one's prayer and ability to receive. The text advises individuals to pray for themself so they "may not seek to imprison Christ and thereby lose the recognition of your own identity".
• Interpretation of Prayer, Needs, and Enemies: Jevon Perra interpreted the reading as prayer being an "energetic state" that determines the world one sees—either separation and guilt or love and unity. They noted that the "sinless have no needs" because they choose the Holy Spirit's world, where enemies disappear, emphasizing that being a "traitor to no one" means not being "treacherous to yourself".
• Discussion on Judgment and Sinlessness: Denise Darlene elaborated on the concept of oneness, explaining that judging another, or treating them as an enemy, means judging oneself. They stated that the "sinless have no needs" because they have "no guilt" and do not believe in separation from God or one another, eliminating problems in perception.
• Personal Example of Anger and Enemy Creation: Jevon Perra shared a personal anecdote about becoming violently angry at another man in a crowded sauna who wanted them to move. They recognized that they created an enemy through their "filters" and judgments, ready to engage in a "physical battle".
• Relationships as Lessons in Love and the Danger of Agendas: Denise Darlene referenced *A Course in Miracles*, suggesting that "under his teaching all relationships become a lesson in love" and that everyone should be viewed as a teacher. Denise Darlene further noted that having an ego-driven agenda leads to trouble and suffering, contrasting it with the guidance of asking, "What would you have me do? Where would you have me go? What would you have me say? And to whom?".
• The Enemy as a Symbol of Imprisoned Christ: Soo Kim read paragraph five, which defines an enemy as "the symbol of an imprisoned Christ". The prayer for enemies is therefore "a prayer for your own freedom," unifying Christ and recognizing their sinlessness. Jevon Perra affirmed this by noting that having an enemy experience or a friend experience is a projection coming through them, confirming, "There is no outside of me that happens that is independent of me".
• Forgiveness as Removing Judgment: The discussion turned to forgiveness, which Soo Kim defined as choosing to view a person "just doing the best they can and nothing they do can hurt us". Jevon Perra clarified that forgiveness in this context means "removing your judgment" without labeling actions as good or bad, allowing for an experience of being "whole, complete with the father".
• Reframing Offense and Unconscious Guilt: Denise Darlene offered a framework for handling offense, stating that when someone is perceived as disrespecting you, they are projecting their unconscious guilt onto you, and the action is "never about you". They suggested that one can turn this inward and ask where they disrespect themself, which reveals a belief in separation from God and guilt.
• Relating Guilt and Ego to the Enneagram: Jevon Perra connected the underlying issue of guilt to the Enneagram's concept of darkness, which temperaments are formed to avoid. They shared that their own negative day and desire to "beat up a kid" stemmed from the feeling of being unworthy of love and being a "poser" or "pretender".
• Continuing the Reading and the Meaning of Prayer: Soo Kim read the next paragraph, which confirms that prayer "is always for yourself," and that truly praying for enemies leads to one's own salvation. The reading describes true prayer as a "song of thanks to your creator, sung without words or thoughts or vain desires," rising from a state of identity in Christ where "there is no lack".
• Discussion of Michael Singer's 'Surrender Experiment': Jevon Perra introduced Michael Singer's *The Surrender Experiment* as an example of surrender, noting that the premise was to say yes to anything asked. Denise Darlene clarified that Singer committed to saying yes for 10 years to see how life would unfold under God's guidance, which he extended to 40 years.
• Singer's Success and Human Design: Denise Darlene recounted that Singer, who started living in a van, became the founder of WebMD, built several companies, and is now a billionaire, despite never desiring money. Denise Darlene also categorized Singer as a "responder, a sacral open sacral responder" in Human Design, waiting for and responding to invitations.
• Relinquishing Judgment as Releasing the Tether: Jevon Perra connected Singer's story to the idea that having an enemy or being a traitor stems from "an attachment to something else" and believing "I know a better way". They compared judgment to the ties holding down a Goodyear blimp, concluding that releasing one's own judgment is terrifying but necessary for natural lift and peace.
• Unlearning the Ego's Ways: Denise Darlene reinforced the teaching that "I do not know my own best interest," stating that believing one knows what they want or need leads to trouble. They emphasized that the ego's conditioning is contrary to the ways of the spirit, requiring them to "unlearn and unwind" those conditioned ways.
• The Role of Willingness: Denise Darlene stressed that the spiritual path is like learning a new language, which is challenging. They concluded that only a "tiny willingness" is required for the Holy Spirit to move on one's behalf, likening it to the boy who brought fish and bread to feed 5,000 people.
• Final Passage and the Illusion of the Ladder: Soo Kim finished the chapter, defining God as the goal of every prayer and noting that prayer is an illusion because "there is no need for a ladder to reach what one has never left". Jevon Perra noted the irony that all spiritual practices are a "ladder of some sort" trying to get people to where they already are.
• Self-Perception and the Ego's Voice: Brian Genovese shared that their upbringing was filled with "fire and brimstone" that created a "bad self-image". Denise Darlene reassured them that the voice that makes them feel like a "poser" or a "fraud" is the voice of the ego, which they can learn to recognize and turn away from.

Collective Thoughts and Peaceful Environments: Denise Darlene suggested that thoughts can be part of the "collective thoughts," which people energetically pick up. They shared that the remote location of their residence is peaceful because it lacks the "density of collective thoughts" found in more populated areas like Orange County.

My crazy is less painful when I watch and stay aware.

• Processing Anger and Judgment: Soo Kim wondered if their strong judgments during mass were an opportunity for personal growth or just reinforced their ego in believing others are wrong. Jevon Perra suggested that writing a personal sermon in their phone during mass, which often served as a "wonderful affirmation" for themself, was a helpful way to cope. Jevon Perra also stated that the corrections they had for the priest always applied to themself, revealing their own hidden judgment.
• Attending Mass Due to Family Obligations: Soo Kim explained that they attended the Catholic mass because of their parents, despite the emotional cost. When their parents offered money for the collection basket, Soo Kim ignored them to avoid confrontation, having previously told them they would not participate. Soo Kim’s mother appreciated their attendance, viewing it as a success for her own "fantasy life".
• Catholic Views on Salvation: Denise Darlene shared a story about a friend's father contemplating death and worrying about their son possibly going to purgatory for leaving the Church. Jevon Perra noted that purgatory is "gracious" because people can "earn their way out of that," in contrast to other Christian denominations. The conversation noted the mechanistic nature of Catholicism, where doing and saying the required things are more important than believing or meaning them.
• Definition of Prayer in A Course in Miracles: The group began reading from *A Course in Miracles*, defining prayer as a continuous state of being, not just words or actions. Prayer in its asking form stems from a sense of scarcity and lack, which involves feelings of weakness and inadequacy. The text suggests that without guilt, there is no scarcity, and "the sinless have no needs".
• Overcoming Judgment in Religious Settings: Soo Kim described how attending mass forces them to constantly filter out what they do not believe, making it difficult to maintain a peaceful state. Jevon Perra countered that they handle similar situations by remembering that their job is not to save people but to forgive, which means letting go of judgment. Jevon Perra concluded that they can choose to meditate or tune out the parts that do not interest them.
• Reframing Experience as a Witness: Denise Darlene advised Soo Kim to adopt the role of a witness rather than a participant to avoid emotional investment. They suggested viewing the church service from a "technical standpoint," like watching a movie with fascination, acknowledging that everyone is innocent in their current level of belief and ignorance. Denise Darlene emphasized that a miracle is simply changing one’s perspective from fear to love.
• Identifying the Root of Anger: Soo Kim expressed that the church made them impure and instilled guilt by literally teaching them to strike their heart and state that their faults were their great offense. Jevon Perra noted that being upset with the priests for judging them means Soo Kim is simultaneously judging the priests with the same judgment. Denise Darlene added that anger reveals pre-existing guilt and shame within Soo Kim, who would otherwise not be bothered.
• Forgiveness as Letting Go: Jevon Perra affirmed that offenders are a "gift" because they reveal personal judgments. They shared that letting go of the offense and the judgment is what forgiveness entails. Jevon Perra concluded that the negative experiences only remain real if one holds on to the offense, and that peace comes from letting go of judgments about how the world or people should be.
• The Choice of Perspective: Denise Darlene noted that anger arises from feeling powerless, and that awareness of the anger allows one to choose a different response. They reiterated that no one, including the priests, can act differently than they are doing right now because they do not have the same level of knowledge or awareness.
• Patterns, Conditions, and Awareness: Denise Darlene explained that individuals operate based on patterns and conditions established by what they have been taught and what is expected of them, such as going to church with their mother on Easter. They stressed that people cannot improve until they become aware of these conditions and are shown something different, suggesting the listener could be a catalyst for change. They noted that remaining angry limits one's experience on Earth, and encouraged the listener to choose differently without judgment, as judgment creates stagnation.
• Healing, Forgiveness, and Helping Others: Denise Darlene stated that the listener's experiences, including those from childhood, could serve a purpose, allowing them to help others once they heal, forgive, and understand how to navigate life. They emphasized that until a person moves past anger and finds clarity, they cannot effectively assist others. Jevon Perra affirmed these points, stating they receive this message.

The Role of Innocence and Grace: Denise Darlene concluded the discussion by linking the ability to see others' innocence to one's ability to see their own innocence. They explained that understanding oneself as a child navigating a large and often incomprehensible world is key, and that true understanding is often shown through grace, not through personal intellect. They encouraged extending grace to both oneself and others.

Review of "The Song of Prayer" Text: The group transitioned to discussing their reading material, "The Song of Prayer," which Jevon Perra has read previously but has difficulty recalling. Jevon Perra confirmed they are working through Part One, likely starting on or around verse six.

Interpretation of True Prayer and the Echo: Jevon Perra explained their interpretation of a line from verse three, "you can't ask for the echo because the song is the gift," suggesting that the echo represents the after-effects or external things people desire, such as money or a spa day. The true gift, the song of heaven, is the peace and contentment that they already possess, emphasizing that not one note of this song has ever been missed.

Understanding Prayer as Acceptance and Communion: The discussion moved to verse six, which addresses how those who have not yet reached the level of fearlessly accepted prayer still need help. Jevon Perra highlighted that this type of prayer is not about trying to get God to change things, but rather about releasing judgments or waking up from the dream. Denise Darlene agreed, stating that true prayer is putting oneself in the presence of God—communion—rather than telling God problems.

Prayer as Thanksgiving and the Concept of Namaste: Jevon Perra cited verse seven, explaining that praying to Christ in anyone is true prayer because it is a gift of thanks to the Father, referencing the concept of Namaste as acknowledging the divine presence in others. Denise Darlene noted that the power of prayer lies in it asking for nothing and receiving everything, describing it as a song of thanksgiving for what they already are.

The Goal of Union with God vs. Worldly Achievement: Denise Darlene emphasized that everything God is is already theirs, and prayer is simply union with God, leading to a state of gratitude and bliss. Jevon Perra contrasted this with the worldly "accomplishment game" where people pray to change situations, seeking a desired result they label as "good" and avoiding an undesired result they label as "bad". Denise Darlene affirmed that everything unfolding is for their highest good, even undesired outcomes, because they often do not know their own best interests.

Distinction Between Deserving and Best Interest: Soo Kim discussed their past experience of seeking a raise and being insulted instead, which ultimately led them to leave the company and receive a greater raise elsewhere. Denise Darlene pointed out that they got what they deserved, which was leaving the company, and that the entire sequence of events unfolded perfectly for their highest good. Denise Darlene cautioned against seeking external validation, stating that circumstances reflect what they inherently believe to be true about themselves.

Three Ways to Interpret Life and the Role of Personality: Jevon Perra introduced three ways to interpret life: how to get what they want, how to develop their personality, and "Who am I?". They suggested that non-dual texts point to the third conversation, emphasizing that the personality is not the self, and thus the personality's achievements or failures do not affect the true self. Denise Darlene concluded that the ultimate desire is to awaken to the truth of being one with God, which often happens through adversity and challenges.

The "Strongarming" Approach to Spiritual Practice: Soo Kim expressed an internal conflict, acknowledging the concept of divine union but still clinging to the idea that intense effort or a specific "formula" (like waking up at 3:45 AM for 40 days) is required to achieve desired outcomes. They asked how getting what they want is not the answer if achieving it still happens.

Ego's Desire for Wanting and Responsibility: Denise Darlene cited *A Course in Miracles* stating the ego’s mantra is "seek but never find," constantly moving from one desire to the next. Denise Darlene explained that when one understands that God is their only source, everything is a gift, leading to gratitude and an experience of life as a surrendered vessel, which the ego resists because it loses the ability to take credit or assign blame.

The "Game" of Life and the Roller Coaster Analogy: Jevon Perra suggested reframing the achievement pursuit as a game, noting that the trouble arises when they forget they are playing a game. Denise Darlene suggested a roller coaster analogy to visualize the concept that they are not the doer and are not changing the ride.

Suffering as Resistance to Pain: Jevon Perra defined suffering as resistance to the experience they call pain, emphasizing that while circumstances (pain) may be scripted, suffering does not have to occur. Jevon Perra cited Victor Frankl's experience in a Nazi concentration camp to illustrate how changing the story—creating meaning—provided a reprieve from suffering without changing the underlying painful circumstances.

Surrender During Difficult Experiences:

You can't ask for the echo. The song is the gift. ACIM. Song of Prayer

•  The participants decided to resume reading *A Course in Miracles*, specifically *The Song of Prayer*, after having read the introduction in the last session. They located the text, which is at the back of the book, in the section reserved for the "most spiritually advanced".
• Reading and Interpretation of "True Prayer" (Part 1): Soo Kim read the first section of "True Prayer," noting that prayer is a way to reach God, not merely a question or entreaty, and "it asks for nothing". Jevon Perra interpreted the core issue with typical prayer as wanting "to get God to do something".
• Understanding God's Answers and Experience: The group discussed the concept that true prayer is receiving what is already given, as opposed to asking for something specific, because the reality is already complete. They noted that the Holy Spirit provides answers that suit the level of need one can recognize, and the "real sound" is a "song of thanksgiving and of love". Jevon Perra commented that people often desire negative experiences, and the only proof that they want the experience is the fact that they are having it.
• The Role of the Holy Spirit and Letting Go: Jevon Perra discussed how the Holy Spirit gently brings people back to awareness and gives them moments of peace, which reminds them that their suffering comes from gripping an attachment to a specific plan. The process involves letting go of the "have to" and questioning how one’s life is "already perfect" underneath the frantic effort to make it different.
• Enneagram and the Belief in Lack: Soo Kim asked what belief drives the need to cling to attachments, suggesting it stems from a belief that one lacks something. Jevon Perra provided a brief overview of the core dispositions for Enneagram types one through eight, relating each to a particular lack they focus on, like 'not right,' 'needs help,' 'not enough to know,' or 'dangerous'.
• Desire for Separation and Ultimate Goal: Jevon Perra argued that all this focus on 'wrongness' distracts people from the 'darkness' so they can maintain separation and feel special. They asserted that the ultimate goal is to "stay Javon," leading Brian Genovese to jokingly suggest a line of "Enlightened Clothing" with a T-shirt for each Enneagram number.
• The Constant Song of Thanksgiving and Love: Jevon Perra circled back to the "real sound" being a song of thanksgiving and love, which serves as a constant comforting hope. They reflected on telling themself that "it's okay, it's going to be okay" when fearing they might fail their family. Brian Genovese related this concept to an old radio show called "Eggbach" that used the slogan "Everything's going to be okay" during the 1970s.
• The Definition of True Prayer and Eternity: Soo Kim read that "The secret of true prayer is to forget the things you think you need," and that asking for specifics is overlooked when those needs are given up to God. God "answers only for eternity," meaning the answers address one's ultimate completeness, not their requests based on attachment.
• Religious Contexts and Personal Attachment: Jevon Perra noted that while religious circles often demand adherence to God's will, the text points to a personal surrender of one's attachment to a particular result, which is the true source of suffering. They argued that no matter what one achieves, they will end up in the same mental state they are in now.
• The Concept of God as Love vs. a Person: Soo Kim recounted a conversation with Mormons about whether it is possible to disobey the will of God. They challenged the idea of God being a person, arguing that to be a person requires a limited perspective, which contradicts the concept of an all-knowing God.
• Highest State of Contentment: Jevon Perra proposed that the highest state for a human while in a body is contentment, which they define as wanting nothing else. They asserted that suffering arises from the lack of contentment and attachment, regardless of whether the attachment is to wealth or virtuous goals like wisdom or service.
• Prayer as Stepping Aside and Listening: Soo Kim read Verse five, which defines prayer as "a stepping aside, a letting go, a quiet time of listening and loving," rather than a supplication. This is a way of remembering one’s inherent holiness and is an offering of self "to be at one with love," leaving nothing left to want.
• Suffering and Control: Brian Genovese discussed how people are programmed to seek control and that the act of "Jesus, help me" is an expression of letting go. Jevon Perra agreed that people believe they would be better masters than the masters they currently work for.
• The Non-Judgmental View of Experience: Jevon Perra stressed that the activities people engage in, even those considered immoral, are not inherently bad because they are all part of an experience that is sought for the purpose of finding contentment. The issue is realizing that these behaviors are often not working to bring the desired happiness.
• Anecdote of Parental Frustration and Enforcement of Will: Jevon Perra shared a personal anecdote about their frustration with their eight-year-old child not going to bed, leading them to contemplate punishment. They realized that their suffering came from resisting the situation and attempting to enforce their will, thereby confirming that they were attached to a different outcome.
• Resistance to What Is Happening: Jevon Perra clarified that the course is focused on the resistance and attachment to a desired outcome, which actually gets them stuck and hinders their ability to change and achieve their goals. The resulting anger is an experience inflicted upon themself, which they suffer from because they are aware of the peaceful states available through forgiveness and letting go.
• Anger and the Earning of Goals: The group discussed whether anger is necessary to fight for goals, with Brian Genovese suggesting that if one does not suffer, they did not "earn it". Soo Kim suggested that the anger shows one cares about the goal.
• Anger as a Tool and the Enneagram Eight: Jevon Perra connected the use of anger to the Enneagram Eight temperament, where anger is a tool and a sign of authenticity and passion. They acknowledged that Eights have the power to be a "stronghold for a whole community," but reiterated that if one desires contentment, anger is not the state to pursue.
• Conclusion on Contentment and Attachment: Jevon Perra summarized that contentment, peace, and happiness are available now, and the story one tells themself about why they cannot have it is the thing to let go. They concluded that one should continue pursuing their goals but without being attached to the outcome or the specific method of achieving it, as attachment is what causes suffering.
• Discussion of Suffering and the Need to Be Special: Jevon Perra discussed how some individuals, whom they compare to the stereotypical number four personality type, are often creative and artistic but experience significant internal darkness because their unique, special, and separate identity is paramount. Soo Kim added that narcissists share this trait, finding the prospect of being ordinary to be the "worst thing". Brian Genovese described this focus on self-created struggles as "gourmet suffering".
• Connecting Disappointment to Personal Goals: Jevon Perra admitted that their personal goals were ultimately disappointing, contrary to the expectation that these goals would lead to happiness. Brian Genovese advised that happiness comes from being consistent and setting intentions without expectations, which helps in achieving goals while avoiding tension and stress.
• Strategy of Going with the Flow: Brian Genovese shared their approach to day-to-day life, which involves letting go of stress, setting a schedule based on incoming requests, and "going with the flow". This relaxed approach led Brian Genovese to realize that they could secure a consulting opportunity with developers for an entitlement project, demonstrating the benefit of putting themself out there. Jevon Perra acknowledged that they struggle with consistency in this strategy, admitting to being "good and bad" at going with the flow.
• Challenges to Maintaining Consistency: Brian Genovese admitted that certain situations, such as driving or dealing with people who attempt to undermine them, cause a negative reaction. Brian Genovese expressed that they have to constantly "block that back door" against others who attempt to override their decision-making abilities or try to show they are superior. Jevon Perra agreed that Brian Genovese should not let those individuals "get away with that".

Concluding Thoughts on Contentment: As the meeting concluded, Jevon Perra reminded themself and the group of the importance of being "content". All participants shared thanks and expressed wishes for a good weekend.

Details

The Importance of Willingness to Grow in Relationships: Jevon Perra contended that the most important factor in a relationship is that both individuals are curious and willing to learn and grow. They shared that their relationship with Carolyn was not initially romantic or monumental, but they decided to love them, which involved consistently trying and giving second chances.

Non-Needy Approach in Jevon Perra's Relationship: Jevon Perra recounted that when Carolyn tried to break up with them multiple times, they reacted with non-resistance and playfulness, not begging them to stay. Jevon Perra stated that the reason people struggle with their partners is because they tend to view the partner as an extension of themselves, making their partner's mistakes feel like an intrusion on their own life.

Carolyn's Life Shift and Temperament: Jevon Perra explained that their unwavering commitment to the relationship, which was based on open-heartedness and curiosity, allowed for a positive shift in Carolyn's temperament. Carolyn became more family-focused, stopped going out to bars with friends, and quit drinking alcohol due to getting sick, which was more conducive to Jevon Perra's own temperament.

Making Everything Okay in Relationships: Jevon Perra summarized their key replicable relationship strategy as making "everything okay" and approaching conflict with curiosity, rather than judgment. This attitude is contrasted with marriage, where things are often deemed "not okay," although Jevon Perra believes even divorce should be seen as acceptable.

Accepting Domesticated Life and Inner Fulfillment: Jevon Perra discussed their domesticated life, finding it neither exciting nor hateful, but clarifying that they would not want someone else's life. They realized that external accomplishments like money, a relationship, or fame will never bring lasting happiness, requiring them to seek fulfillment from within.

Spiritual Practice and Redirection of Energy: Jevon Perra concluded that their solution is not distant because it is who they already are, but it requires redirecting their energy toward awareness rather than accomplishment. They noted that conversations like this are helpful because they serve as a reminder of what is already true, though they easily forget.

New Perspective on Dating and Making Everything Fun: Jevon Perra reflected that if they were to date again, they would enjoy it more because they would approach every person with interest, not using the interaction to achieve a specific goal. They described their current spiritual practice as trying to make everything "wonderful and fine or at least okay," surrendering the things that bother them, and not taking anything personally.

Transition to Course of Miracles Study: The speakers decided to transition to their scheduled study and agreed to continue with the "Song of Prayer," which is found after the Manual for Teachers in *A Course in Miracles*. They decided to begin by reading the introduction to the "Song of Prayer".

Discussion of the "Song of Prayer" Introduction: Soo Kim read the initial passage, which describes prayer as the single voice shared by Creator and creation. Jevon Perra interpreted the text as highlighting that time does not truly exist, and that the "Song of Prayer" points to a beautiful unity where God and the Son (humanity) love everything.

Prayer as a Means to Union: Soo Kim read a passage describing prayer as the means by which God's son abandons separate goals and interests for the "truth of union". Jevon Perra emphasized that religious and sacred texts are merely "a finger pointing to the moon," serving as a way to remember reality and achieve salvation, which is not about acquisition but about recollection.

The Process of Forgiveness and Letting Go: Jevon Perra explained that suffering arises from striving for separate goals, and the solution is to let go of the idea that is causing distress, which is the course's definition of forgiveness. This process is customizable to the moment because the object of striving or anger changes constantly.

Soo Kim's Struggle with External Validation and Work Guilt: Soo Kim shared that their recent distress was rooted in needing external validation, specifically feeling appreciated and acknowledged for their hard work. They also expressed guilt because, due to school, they no longer work overtime or perform their extensive morning spiritual practices, which they credit for their success.

Work Performance and Lack of Management Concern: Soo Kim noted that despite reducing their extra work, their employers do not seem to mind and still assign them the most challenging files, indicating their performance is still deemed "good enough". Jevon Perra recalled a similar experience where they stopped doing extra work before quitting and their manager did not notice, confirming that the pressure had always been self-imposed.

Self-Imposed Pressure at Work: Jevon Perra and Soo Kim agreed that they both historically imposed high standards on themselves, feeling that simply doing the job was "not good enough," even when no one else was demanding more. Jevon Perra referred to this inner drive as a "ruthless taskmaster from within," which Soo Kim's Enneagram type (an Eight with a One or Three wing) would necessitate.

Discussion of Enneagram Types: Soo Kim clarified that they were typed as an Enneagram Eight, who can use their power as anger but are also capable of integrating to become champions for the weak. Jevon Perra mentioned that Soo Kim might appear like a Five when "blocked," and they found the Enneagram system to be interesting.

Astrology Doubts and Interest in Enneagram: Soo Kim confessed that they are conflicted about learning astrology because cross-referencing charts with the actual sky showed that neither the tropical nor the sidereal system is consistently accurate. As a result, Soo Kim is now considering learning the Enneagram system instead.

Examining Human Design and Gene Keys: Jevon Perra introduced the Gene Keys system, which is derived from Human Design, a system that integrates elements like the Kabbalah and astrology. Human Design is based on the birth time and place, and Soo Kim called it the "MMA of the woowoo world" because it combines different spiritual traditions.

Distinction Between Human Design and Gene Keys: Jevon Perra differentiated Human Design as a tool for understanding and utilizing oneself better to achieve success, whereas Gene Keys is presented as a tool for awakening and freeing oneself. Soo Kim pointed out that astrology already incorporates concepts of life purpose and growth through the North and South Nodes.

Enneagram's Catholic Origins and Focus on Darkness: Jevon Perra shared that the Enneagram was originally an old Catholic tool designed to help people understand and avoid their inner darkness. The darkness is interpreted as the guilt resulting from having created a "special self" separate from God's oneness.

The Process of Atonement and Laying Down Dreams: The speakers affirmed that there is always a "way to atonement," which means recognizing that one is already free. They concluded the reading of the introduction to the "Song of Prayer," focusing on the instruction to "lay down your dreams," which Jevon Perra interpreted as realizing that personal ideas and goals will not bring contentment because dreams are not real.

The Value of the Present Moment: Jevon Perra concluded the session by sharing a recent experience of fleeting contentment while sitting on the lawn with their family and neighbors, which reminded them that fulfillment is found in the present moment, not in striving for accomplishment.

Suggested next steps

Soo Kim will look into the Enneagram instead of astrology after finishing school.

Jevon Perra will buy Charlie some new glasses.

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