How do we engage parents and carers? with Penny Phillips | In This Together

In this episode, host Becky Dawson is joined by Penny Phillips, a coach supervisor and founder of the Parent Village . Penny shares the story of how her work in local authorities evolved into a peer-led, evidence-based model that upskills parents to support one another's mental health and wellbeing . The conversation explores the vital role parents play as experts through experience and how schools can better bridge the gap between home and the classroom .

The episode delves into the challenges of navigating the education system, particularly for families dealing with social and emotional needs or a cancer diagnosis. Penny offers profound insights into why perfection in parenting is a myth and how educators can use vulnerability and "relational approaches" to build genuine trust with the families they serve . From relieving the pressure of "adulting" to supporting parents through recovery, Penny provides a roadmap for compassionate collaboration.

Takeaways

• Value expertise through experience: Peer-led support models recognize that parents are the fundamental relationship in a child's life and possess unique skills that should be valued and scaffolded.
• The "Armour" of interaction: Both educators and parents often approach difficult conversations with defensive "armour"; taking a bit of yours off first can invite the parent to do the same, fostering vulnerability.
• Relieving the perfectionism trap: Perfection in parenting does not exist; "good enough" parenting—being the best you can be in your current circumstances—is the goal that leaders should champion.
• Broaching support with sensitivity: Recommending parenting groups should be done through a lens of empathy and shared struggle rather than as a "tick box" or a critique of a parent's current skills.
• Humans do well when they can: Adopting the mantra that people—both children and adults—want to do well but may currently lack the capacity or support to do so changes the tone of school interaction.
• Support beyond treatment: For families "parenting with cancer," the need for school support does not end when treatment does; ongoing scaffolding is required as they navigate long-term emotional and physical impacts.

Chapters

00:01 - Introduction - Becky Dawson introduces Penny Phillips and the concept of the Parent Village.

01:42 - The Birth of the Parent Village - How a peer-led parenting team grew into a digital community across borough boundaries.

04:02 - Valuing Peer Expertise - The importance of upskilling and paying parents to share their lived experiences.

06:24 - Challenges Facing Families - Discussing global factors, the cost of living, and the daily juggle of "adulting".

10:45 - The Secondary School Context - Why secondary leaders must set a tone that prioritises partnership and trusted adults over rigid rules.

14:19 - Dropping the Armour - How vulnerability and admitting you don't have all the answers can improve one-to-one parent conversations.

19:08 - Recommending Parenting Support - Tips on how to suggest courses without making parents feel like they are failing.

22:53 - The Myth of Perfection - Moving away from social media's perfect images and embracing "good enough".

26:48 - Humans Do Well When They Can - Applying Dr. Ross Green's principles to both children and "blustery" parents.

31:37 - Parenting with Cancer Project - A specialized focus on supporting families through a diagnosis and its lifelong impacts.

38:29 - Scaffolding Beyond Treatment - Why schools must continue to hold families in mind even after medical treatment ends.

40:37 - Takeaways for Tomorrow - Final reflections on relational approaches and taking off the armour.

Join the Conversation We would love for you to follow the podcast and leave a rating or review on your preferred platform . If you have thoughts, questions, or want to share the brilliant work you're doing for wellbeing, please email us at teamwellbeing@twinkl.co.uk.

Find out more about Penny’s work here:

The Parent Village: https://www.theparentvillage.org.uk/

Fruitfly Collective (parenting with cancer): https://www.fruitflycollective.com/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/penny-phillips/