5 Ways to Communicate With Your Partner So You Both Feel Heard

Communication isn't about finding common ground all the time; it's learning to give space to each other's perspective. Hear them out and then figure out what steps you'll take from there. Here are 5 ways to communicate with your partner that may be helpful.

Wait until you're calm.

Sometimes it's hard to bring up something when you or your partner are running late, or you're frustrated and ready to argue about it.

    Let your partner know, "Can we talk about this when we're home?"

Once you're at home, make sure to circle back to the issue. Waiting isn't avoiding the issue; you're allowing both of you time to listen to your partner.

Speak from your perspective.

Use phrases like "I feel," "I think," or "I would like." For example, instead of "I feel like you're being selfish when I don't know about things," try: "I feel left out when I find out about things after the fact. Is there a way we can inform each other?" Don't use harsh words that place blame on your partner, such as "always" or "never."

Listen to hear your partner.

Allow your partner to finish their sentence. Make sure you're giving them your full attention. Paraphrase what your partner is saying and ask if you were able to grasp the message. For example, "It seems like you didn't feel supported when I did ___." Did I understand that correctly? Your partner can clarify what you said if you got it wrong. Hearing your partner out doesn't mean you agree.

Ask one question.

If your partner is telling you something that you don't fully understand, ask a question that allows them to elaborate on what they're feeling. "What was hard about that?" "How could we fix this?" Allow silence after your question so your partner has time to answer. Don't throw multiple questions at them or interrogate your partner. Asking your partner questions can allow you to dig deeper into what you're both feeling.

Step away from the conversation.

If you find that you or your partner is too emotional to hear what's being said, tell them that you need to take a break. Tell them when you will get back to the issue. According to Utah State University Extension, when talking to your partner about an issue, take a break and cool down.

One thing you can do is pick one issue.

Don't go over everything that's been bothering you. Each of you speaks for one to two minutes. Then have your partner repeat what they heard you say. Ask them if they understood what you were trying to say. Do this until you've found a solution that works for both parties. If you're unable to come to a solution, find out what you learned from that situation and what you can circle back on next time.

Remember, you don't have to have the perfect conversation every time. Find ways that you and your partner can learn to communicate with each other better. Once you master these tips, you'll see that you're able to have a healthy conversation with your partner. If you continue to struggle with communication, seek out a licensed couples counselor.     

Links : licensed couples counselor.     https://clearerconnections.com/relationship-therapy/

5 ways to communicate with your partner https://clearerconnections.com/how-to-improve-communication-in-a-relationship/