SHOW / EPISODE

E80: Why Enneagram 9s Avoid Decisions (and What It’s Really Protecting): Aaron & Tara Finally Join the Podcast

Episode 80
50m | Sep 17, 2026

Hosts Holly and Tannah welcome guests Aaron (Holly’s husband) and Tara (Tannah’s sister), both Enneagram Nines, for a deep dive into Nine motivations—especially conflict avoidance, peacekeeping, and outsourcing decisions. They revisit Aaron’s past confusion between being a Nine versus a Two, emphasizing that the Enneagram measures core motivation rather than behavior, and discuss how childhood dynamics shaped their “go with the flow” patterns, including conflict not being modeled for Aaron and Tara’s experiences of being corrected or wanting to fit in. The group explores Nine stress moving to Six through worst-case-scenario thinking and lingering regret after decisions (like choosing restaurants or missing a recital ticket). They discuss the “soul child” concept (Nine’s growth line to Three) and how recognizing Nine tendencies can support growth through owning wants, needs, and making decisions for healthier relationships, ending with a call for listeners to like/subscribe and volunteer as guests for the upcoming one-to-nine series.


00:00 Meet the Nines

00:47 Podcast Intro and Enneagram Basics

03:16 Why Aaron Is a Nine

04:15 Childhood Roots of Nineness

07:08 Tara’s Upbringing and Nine Vibes

09:00 Conflict Stories and Marriage Triggers

10:50 Soul Child Theory for Nines

20:01 Decision Paralysis and People Pleasing

25:34 Stress Line to Six Worst Case Thinking

26:56 Fear of Wrong Choices

28:28 Childhood Scolding Memories

30:02 Left Handed Lesson

31:29 Fitting In at School

32:48 Soul Child Enneagram

36:54 Nine Growth Questions

40:14 Owning Needs and Decisions

42:37 Decision Fatigue Meals

45:09 Audio Check and Wrap

45:54 Guests and Next Topics

48:20 Nine Commitment Jokes

49:47 Subscribe and Closing

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