- Moving Toward the Parts That Hurt Using IFS With Jenna Riemersma
In this replay episode, Monique speaks with therapist and author Jenna Riemersma about Internal Family Systems, or IFS, and a compassionate way to work with the wounded parts of ourselves. Jenna explains why healing often starts by moving toward what we usually want to avoid, and how that shift can reduce shame, increase self-understanding, and create real internal change.They also discuss the difference between burdened parts and core self, how protective “wall” parts operate, and why healthy boundaries come from self rather than reactivity. Jenna shares a simple three-step practice called move toward: notice, know, and need.
- Jenna explains how IFS views people as fundamentally good, with a core self that remains intact even after trauma
- The conversation centers on the idea that parts of us are not bad, but burdened by traumatic experiences and stuck in protective roles
- Monique and Jenna discuss how shame, rage, numbness, addiction, and dissociation can all be understood as parts trying to help
- Jenna uses the sun and clouds metaphor to explain why core self can feel inaccessible when protective parts take over
- A practical framework is introduced: move toward, which includes three steps - notice, know, and need
- Jenna gives a personal example involving canceled plans and how an abandoned, rejected part was triggered by present-day stress
- The episode explores why even one step of compassionate noticing can be deeply transformative
- Monique asks about wall parts, and Jenna explains how protective shutdown can feel like boundaries but usually functions as isolation
- Healthy boundaries are framed as something that can only come from core self, not from angry, fearful, or manipulative parts
- Jenna explains why “what’s in the way is the way” and how every part can become a doorway to healing
Jenna's books:
Altogether You: Experiencing personal and spiritual transformation with Internal Family Systems therapy https://amzn.to/4y7KLsv
Move Toward: A Simplified IFS Therapy Tool to Welcome All Parts of You https://amzn.to/45yy9OQ
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy29m - Aug 19, 2026 - Mother Trauma
In this mini episode, host Monique Koven explores the profound impact of attachment trauma, especially from caregivers who are frightening or unreliable. She discusses how these early experiences shape our nervous system, influence our relationships, and how understanding these patterns can foster self-compassion and healing.
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy7m - Jul 24, 2026 - Becoming The Mother You Never Had With Dr. Lindsay Gibson
All New Episode With Dr. Lindsay Gibson
You Can Be The Mother You Needed : In this brand new episode, Dr. Lindsay Gibson shares her groundbreaking approach to parenting, emphasizing the importance of understanding emotional maturity in children and how to foster it. Monique and Lindsay explore the dynamics of emotional immaturity, how past traumas affect parenting styles, and practical mindsets that nurture resilient, emotionally aware kids.
About our guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of a number of books, including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and her new book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child.
What you'll discover in this conversation:
The core differences between emotionally mature and immature parents
childhood trauma and early attachment influence parenting
The concept of emotional needs: contact, soothing, proximity
The significance of seeing children as real inside with their own inner worlds
The importance of protective parenting and setting a safe emotional foundation
The seven mindsets that underpin emotionally intelligent parenting
Strategies to help children develop internal representations of their world
How to respond to children's behavior as a form of communication
The role of empathy and sensitivity in emotional development
Practical ways to show children they are understood, safe, and valued
Order Lindsay Gibson's new book "How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child ;
Watch The Full Episode https://youtu.be/c0iuE9szrJA?si=F8uuxa5B6lw-RdRL
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy44m - Jun 12, 2026 - How Childhood Trauma Shows Up Now With Dr. Janina Fisher
In this replay conversation, my guest renowned trauma expert Dr. Janina Fisher discusses her model TIST (Trauma Informed Stabilization Treatment) and the concept of the living legacy of trauma, emphasizing how trauma's effects persist in the body and mind beyond past events. She explores dissociation, fragmentation, and practical approaches to healing trauma by addressing these living legacies.Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation
Janina's Books
Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation https://amzn.to/4uyDtMy
Transforming The Living Legacy of Trauma: A Workbook for Survivors and Therapists https://amzn.to/4dbcHCC
Embracing Our Fragmented Selves: A Workbook for Trauma Survivors and Therapists https://amzn.to/4cWI4Ci
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy26m - Jun 4, 2026 - Trauma-Related Dissociation With Kathy Steele
In this replay interview, trauma expert Kathy Steele explores the complex world of dissociation, trauma, and mental health. She discusses different types of dissociation, the development of self, and practical strategies for healing and integration.
Books:
Treating Trauma-Related Dissociation: A Practical, Integrative Approach (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) https://amzn.to/4f0KPUA
Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) https://amzn.to/49JG7XC
Trauma-Related Dissociation Two-Book Set https://amzn.to/4tSvCsq
Kathy's website: https://www.kathy-steele.com/
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy26m - May 21, 2026 - Mother's Day With An Emotionally Immature Mother With Dr. Lindsay Gibson
In this replay episode, Dr. Lindsay Gibson is back just in time for Mother's Day.
About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of the Emotional Immaturity series of books, including her bestseller Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
In this conversation, Monique and Lindsay discuss the complexities of navigating Mother's Day emotions, particularly for those with emotionally immature parents. They explore the conflicting feelings of grief and obligation, the importance of self-validation, and practical tips for managing relationships during this challenging time. The discussion emphasizes the need for self-care and reconnecting with one's true self to foster personal growth and healing.
Takeaways
- Mother's Day can evoke mixed emotions, including grief and obligation.
- It's important to honour your own feelings during this holiday.
- Emotional immaturity in parents can complicate relationships.
- Self-validation is crucial for emotional well-being.
- Finding a balance between honouring a parent and honouring oneself is key.
- It's okay to choose how to engage with emotionally immature parents.
- Reconnecting with oneself is essential for personal growth.
- Practicing self-care can help manage emotional turmoil.
- Taking a pause to reflect on feelings can lead to better self-understanding.
Find Lindsay's books here:
Adult children of Emotionally Immature Parents
Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy
Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self, and Live with Confidence
Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of Emotionally Immature Parents
Connect with Monique on IG https://www.instagram.com/thehealingtraumapodcast/
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy38m - May 7, 2026 - Betrayed By Your Partner With Michelle Mays
In this replay conversation, host Monique Koven is chatting with trauma therapist and author Michelle Mays. They discuss the concept of betrayal trauma, its connection to attachment theory, and how childhood trauma influences adult relationships. Michelle explains the importance of understanding betrayal trauma as a relational issue and outlines the three trauma traps that betrayed partners often face: fear of loss, shame, and powerlessness. She also introduces her six phases of healing, emphasizing that healing is a complex, non-linear process that requires individuals to confront their fears and engage in deep emotional work.
Michelle's Books & Resources:
The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst
The Aftermath of Betrayal https://amzn.to/4qOveKR
When It All Breaks Bad: 10 Things To Do (And Not Do) After Betrayal https://amzn.to/3ZDwBQi
Michelle's Website: https://michellemays.com/
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy33m - Apr 23, 2026 - How To Talk To Your Partner About Trauma With Elizabeth Earnshaw
In this replay conversation, therapist and author Elizabeth Earnshaw discusses the challenges faced by trauma survivors in relationships, particularly the need for understanding and effective communication with partners. She emphasizes the importance of empathy, active listening, and creating a safe space for sharing experiences. She also provides strategies for expressing needs to partners and navigating situations where partners may struggle to understand or respond appropriately. The conversation highlights the significance of persistence in communication and the potential for healing through supportive relationships.
takeaways
- Many trauma survivors feel isolated and misunderstood by their partners.
- It's essential for partners to listen and hold space for trauma survivors.
- Survivors need to clarify what understanding looks like for them.
- Empathy and compassion are crucial in supporting a loved one with trauma.
- Effective communication requires choosing the right time and approach.
- Expressing positive needs can reduce defensiveness in conversations.
- Partners should be responsive and curious about their loved one's experiences.
- It's important to gauge a partner's ability to listen and support.
- Persistence in communication can help partners improve their understanding.
- Safe relationships allow for ongoing discussions about needs and feelings.
Liz's book:
Til Stress Do Us Part: How to Heal the #1 Issue in Our Relationships
Website:https://elizabethearnshaw.com/
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy21m - Apr 9, 2026 - Help Me Understand Dissociation with Dr. Bethany Brand
This replay episode features Dr. Bethany Brand—author, trainer, and forensic expert in trauma and dissociative disorders. In this conversation, she answers key questions about dissociation, including the different types, levels of severity, its connection to trauma, and available treatment options. You’ll gain a clearer understanding of how dissociation impacts mental health and learn practical steps for managing it effectively.
Resources & Books
The Finding Solid Ground Program Workbook: Overcoming Obstacles in Trauma Recovery Workbook https://amzn.to/4dRavSG
The Stranger In The Mirror: The Hidden Epidemic ―A Groundbreaking Psychology Guide to Dissociation, Trauma, and Reclaiming Your True Self https://amzn.to/3PpuZIp
Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists https://amzn.to/4dK0LJV
Dissociation Made Simple: A Stigma-Free Guide to Embracing Your Dissociative Mind and Navigating Daily Life https://amzn.to/4rVjXb4
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy37m - Mar 26, 2026 - Mother Hunger with Kelly McDaniel
In this replay conversation, psychotherapist Kelly McDaniel discusses her book 'Mother Hunger,' which explores the deep emotional needs for maternal love and the impact of unmet needs on women's lives. She explains the concept of mother hunger, the essential needs from a mother, and how these needs shape our relationships and emotional well-being. The discussion also delves into the effects of frightening mothers, the connection between food and love, and the importance of finding a compassionate witness for healing.
Kelly's Book: Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance
Website: https://kellymcdanieltherapy.com/
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy21m - Mar 13, 2026 - The Impact of Early Attachments on Relationships With Melissa Callahan
In this replay conversation, licensed marriage and family therapist Melissa Callahan discusses the profound impact of early attachment experiences on adult relationships. She explains attachment theory, the different attachment styles, and how early trauma can shape our perceptions of safety and trust in relationships. The discussion emphasizes the importance of creating emotional safety, understanding one's own patterns, and the journey of healing and resilience in fostering healthier relationships.
Attachment theory explains how early bonds affect adult relationships.
Attachment styles can be seen as threat mitigation systems.
Trust issues in adulthood often stem from childhood experiences.
Anxious and avoidant attachment styles often attract each other.
Understanding your attachment style can improve relationship dynamics.
Early trauma influences our ability to trust others.
Creating safety in relationships requires vulnerability and communication.
Repairing relationships after conflict is essential for security.
Healing from attachment wounds takes time and effort.
Resilience is often found through supportive relationships.
Books mentioned: Attached
https://amzn.to/4r6Pfvn
https://www.instagram.com/callahantherapy/
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy25m - Feb 27, 2026 - Parenting After Childhood Trauma With Cath Counihan
In this replay conversation, psychotherapist Cath Counihan and Monique delve into the complexities of parenting when one has experienced childhood trauma. They discuss the challenges of emotional regulation, the impact of trauma adaptations, and the importance of self-compassion in navigating parenthood. The conversation emphasizes the need for understanding one's own trauma history to better support children and highlights the messiness of parenting as a shared human experience.
Books Mentioned:
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation by Janina Fisher
Transforming The Living Legacy of Trauma: A Workbook for Survivors and Therapists by Janina Fisher
Cath's website & podcast : https://www.cathcounihan.com
/https://www.cathcounihan.com/grow-yourself-up
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy23m - Feb 13, 2026 - Trauma & Stress Responses With Rebekkah LaDyne
In this replay conversation, host Monique Koven interviews Rebekkah LaDyne, a somatic therapist and author about her book 'The Mind Body Stress Reset.' They discuss the importance of somatic practices in managing extreme stress and trauma, emphasizing the body-mind connection. Rebecca shares her personal journey and the development of self-administered somatic tools that can help individuals navigate their stress responses and build resilience. The conversation highlights the need for accessible mental health resources and the significance of understanding trauma's impact on stress responses.
takeaways
- Somatic therapy focuses on the body-mind connection.
- Extreme stress responses require different coping strategies.
- Cognitive reframing is less effective for high-stress events.
- Self-administered somatic tools can be highly effective.
- Resilience pathways help individuals recover from stress.
- Trauma can reset our baseline stress levels.
- Building resilience pathways is essential for recovery.
- Accessible mental health resources are crucial for everyone.
- Mindfulness practices should be adapted to individual needs.
- Understanding trauma helps in managing stress responses.
Book: The Mind-Body Stress Reset: Somatic Practices to Reduce Overwhelm and Increase Well-Being
https://www.rebekkahladyne.com/
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy32m - Jan 31, 2026 - The Hidden Impact of Parentification With Dr. Alison Cook
*This new season of the HTP podcast will be a slowing down with an offering of older (replay) episodes from previous seasons.
In this conversation, Monique Koven and psychologist and author Allison Cook delve into the concept of parentification, where children take on adult responsibilities, leading to significant emotional and relational challenges in adulthood. They explore the effects of parentification on self-esteem, boundaries, and the ability to form healthy relationships. The discussion emphasizes the importance of recognizing these patterns, setting boundaries with parents, and navigating the complexities of caring for aging parents. They also touch on the healing process, dealing with guilt, and breaking the cycle of unhealthy family dynamics.
takeaways
- Parentification involves a role reversal where children care for their parents.
- This phenomenon can lead to long-term emotional and relational issues.
- Children may feel overly responsible for their parents' needs.
- Setting healthy boundaries with parents is crucial for emotional well-being.
- Recognizing signs of guilt and manipulation from parents is important.
- Healing from parentification involves reparenting oneself.
- It's essential to negotiate responsibilities towards aging parents.
- Creating safe spaces and support systems can aid in healing.
- Understanding false guilt can help in breaking unhealthy cycles.
- Open communication with children fosters healthier relationships.
Dr. Alison Cook's Books, Website & Podcast
I Shouldn't Feel This Way: Name What’s Hard, Tame Your Guilt, and Transform Self-Sabotage into Brave Action https://amzn.to/4jLAeNz
Boundaries for Your Soul: How to Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts and Feelings into Your Greatest Allies https://amzn.to/3ZeIY5g
The Best of You: Break Free from Painful Patterns, Mend Your Past, and Discover Your True Self in God https://amzn.to/4jNPLMH
https://www.dralisoncook.com/podcast
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy26m - Jan 17, 2026 - Healing After Betrayal Trauma With Tammy Gustafson
In this episode of the Healing Trauma Podcast, guest host Dr. Mark McNear speaks with Tammy Gustafson who shares her personal journey through betrayal trauma and the healing process that followed. As a licensed professional counselor, she discusses the complexities of betrayal, the misconceptions surrounding it, and the importance of understanding betrayal trauma as a legitimate form of trauma. Tammy emphasizes the need for time in the healing process, the significance of emotional regulation, and the role of fun and joy in recovery. She also highlights her professional insights gained from her experiences and the creation of her upcoming book aimed at helping others navigate their healing journey.
Takeaways
Betrayal trauma is a legitimate form of trauma that can overwhelm one's ability to process emotions.
The healing process takes time and cannot be rushed or bypassed.
It's crucial for betrayed partners to understand that the betrayal is not their fault.
Emotional dysregulation is common in betrayal trauma, and support systems are vital for recovery.
Finding joy and fun is an essential part of the healing journey.
Tammy emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and recognizing one's worth.
The journey of healing can lead to personal growth and empowerment.
Tammy's upcoming book aims to guide betrayed partners through their healing process.
Healing from betrayal can lead to profound transformation and resilience.
About Our Guest
Tammy Gustafson, MA, LPC, is a trauma-informed
licensed professional counselor, coach, and speaker
with over 15 years of experience. She holds a master’s
degree in counseling and is the founder and CEO of
Betrayal Healing and LiveFree Counseling. Tammy
hosts the annual Betrayal Healing Conference, which
provides compassionate, expert guidance to
thousands of betrayed partners worldwide.
Guest Host: Guest Host: Dr. Mark McNear
https://www.instagram.com/drmarkmcnear/
Tammy's Book:
Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayal
website:https://tammygustafson.com/betrayal-healing/
https://www.instagram.com/tammylgustafson/
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy31m - Dec 31, 2025 - A Therapist's Journey Of Discovering Complex Trauma With Esther Schwarz
*This episode is a re release from an earlier season of the HTP.
In this conversation, Monique Koven and holistic psychotherapist Esther Schwarz discuss the profound effects of childhood trauma and the journey of healing from complex PTSD. Esther shares her personal experiences with trauma, symptoms, and the importance of understanding and managing these challenges. They explore the role of support systems, the impact of overwhelm on daily functioning, and the necessity of educating partners about trauma. The conversation emphasizes resilience, hope, and the possibility of recovery, encouraging listeners to seek help and not give up on their healing journey.
takeaways
- Esther shares her journey of living with childhood trauma.
- Understanding complex PTSD is crucial for healing.
- Support systems play a vital role in recovery.
- Overwhelm can significantly impact daily functioning.
- The journey from anxiety to recognizing complex trauma is complex.
- Educating partners about trauma can enhance relationships.
- Resilience is a key component in the healing process.
- There is hope for recovery and personal growth.
- Sharing experiences can help others feel less alone.
- Don't give up before the miracle happens.
Find Esther here: https://www.instagram.com/estherschwarz.lmsw/
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy36m - Dec 17, 2025 - Honoring Your Story With Dr. Dan Allender
Trigger Warning: Contains sensitive content & language related to childhood sexual abuse.
In this episode of the Healing Trauma Podcast, Guest Host Dr. Mark McNear talks with Dr. Dan Allender to discuss the profound impact of trauma and the healing power of story work. They explore the complexities of personal narratives, the importance of kindness in therapy, and the long-term journey of healing from trauma. The conversation emphasizes the need for a compassionate approach to understanding one's story and the role of kindness in facilitating healing. Listeners are encouraged to engage with their own stories and recognize the ongoing nature of healing.
takeaways
- Story work can lead to profound healing and joy.
- Engaging with personal trauma stories is essential for healing.
- Kindness is crucial in the therapeutic process.
- Betrayal and powerlessness are common themes in trauma.
- Shame can complicate the experience of pleasure in trauma.
- Touch and arousal can evoke complex feelings in trauma survivors.
- Healing is a lifelong journey, not a quick fix.
- Understanding the past is essential for present healing.
- Kindness differs from niceness; it involves deeper engagement.
- The process of remembering trauma is vital for recovery.
About the Guest: Dr. Dan Allender, co-founder of The Allender Center and founding president of The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, has pioneered a unique and innovative approach to trauma and abuse therapy over the past 30 years.
https://www.instagram.com/allendercenter/
Guest Host: Dr. Mark McNear
https://www.instagram.com/drmarkmcnear/
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy38m - Dec 5, 2025 - Understanding Developmental Trauma With Mily Gomez
*This episode is a re release from an earlier season of the HTP. It is a wonderful conversation about understanding Developmental Trauma.
In this conversation, Monique is chatting with trauma therapist Mily Gomez. Mily discusses the concept of developmental trauma, its impact on emotional regulation, attachment styles, and relationships. She explains how early experiences shape our ability to connect with others and manage our emotions. The discussion also covers the importance of validation, support, and the healing process through reparenting and somatic work. Mily emphasizes the need for individuals to develop tools for self-regulation and the significance of building healthy attachments in adulthood.
takeaways
- Developmental trauma occurs from conception to age two or three.
- Implicit memory affects how we feel without conscious awareness.
- Early experiences set the foundation for emotional regulation.
- Insecure attachment can lead to trust issues in relationships.
- Validation and support are crucial for healing.
- Reparenting oneself is a key part of the healing process.
- Somatic experiencing helps in processing trauma stored in the body.
- Clients can learn to self-regulate their emotions.
- Healthy attachments can be built even after trauma.
- Therapy provides a safe space for exploring difficult emotions.
Find Milly Gomez on IG
https://www.instagram.com/latibulecounseling/
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy38m - Nov 27, 2025 - Your Pain Has A Name: A Journey to Healing with Monica DiCristina
In this conversation, author and trauma therapist Monica DiCristina shares her insights on the importance of naming pain and understanding one's emotional triggers. She discusses her book, 'Your Pain Has A Name,' and emphasizes the significance of accurate diagnosis in therapy. The discussion also touches on the impact of dismissal in therapeutic settings, the dangers of oversimplified healing approaches, and the importance of finding the right therapeutic relationship. Monica encourages listeners to keep seeking understanding and healing, reminding them that they are not alone in their struggles.
takeaways
- Monica wrote her book to help others name their pain.
- Naming pain is essential for separating identity from trauma.
- Many people walk around feeling something is wrong with them.
- Accurate diagnosis is crucial for effective healing.
- Understanding one's wiring can help in managing mental health.
- Dismissal in therapy can lead to feelings of isolation.
- Oversimplified healing approaches can be harmful.
- The therapeutic relationship is key to successful outcomes.
- It's important to find a therapist who feels right for you.
- Everyone's journey to understanding and healing is unique.
Monica's new book: Your Pain Has a Name: A Therapist’s Invitation to Understanding Your Story and Sorting Out Who You Are from What Hurts https://amzn.to/4i3qmxF
Where to Find Monica:
Website: https://monicadicristina.com
Instagram: @monicadicristina
Still Becoming Podcast
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy22m - Nov 15, 2025 - Generational Trauma With Gina Birkemeier
In this episode of the Healing Trauma Podcast, Monique Koven speaks with trauma therapist Gina Birkemeier about her book 'Generations Deep,' which explores the impact of generational trauma and the importance of healing. They discuss how family patterns shape our beliefs and behaviors, the significance of corrective experiences in healing, and the role of curiosity in breaking cycles of dysfunction. Gina shares her personal journey of recognizing and addressing inherited trauma, emphasizing the need for supportive relationships and the importance of not navigating this journey alone.
takeaways
- The title of the book is 'Generations Deep, Unmasking Inherited Trauma and Dysfunction to Rewrite Our Stories.'
- Family patterns can carry significant weight and influence our lives.
- Healing is a non-linear process that involves ups and downs.
- Curiosity can help combat shame and rigidity in our lives.
- Corrective experiences are essential for emotional healing.
- Breaking cycles of trauma starts with individual healing.
- It's important to recognize and address inherited beliefs and behaviors.
- Supportive relationships can provide a foundation for healing.
- Self-reflection is crucial in understanding our childhood needs.
- Do not navigate the healing journey alone; seek support.
Find Gina here: Gina Birkemeier, LPC, NCC
Gina's Book: Generations Deep: Unmasking Inherited Dysfunction and Trauma to Rewrite Our Stories Through Faith and Therapy https://amzn.to/3X9ytPC
Generations Workbook: Generations Deep Journal: Write Your Healing Story
Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy32m - Nov 3, 2025
