SHOW / EPISODE

Is Your Partner Paying for Your Past? | Love McPherson

1h 36m | Oct 12, 2026

Sometimes an argument about what happened five minutes ago carries the weight of something that happened 20 years ago.


But understanding where your pain comes from doesn’t give you permission to keep hurting the person you love.


In this episode of Initiated By God, I sit down with relationship expert, counselor, and author Love McPherson for an honest conversation about childhood wounds, marriage, boundaries, and what it takes to change the patterns we learned growing up.


Love opens up about how she once tore her husband down during arguments—and the boundary that made her recognize her own behavior.


We also unpack:


• Why familiar relationships can feel like chemistry

• The difference between supporting someone and carrying their responsibilities

• Why knowing your triggers doesn’t automatically change your behavior

• How faith and boundaries intersect when loyalty becomes harmful

• Learning to love your spouse through parenthood, grief, and aging

• Breaking patterns before another generation inherits them


This conversation challenged me, moved me, and brought us somewhere deeply personal.


Watch the full episode, and tell us: What relationship pattern have you had to unlearn?


Chapters:

00:00 Tearing Him Down

01:31 Welcome and Setup

03:45 Learning Love Early

07:50 Unlearning Conflict

11:06 Why Inner Child Matters

14:23 Amygdala Autopilot

19:41 Signs and Getting Help

25:59 Avoidance and Boundaries

32:50 Triggers vs Boundaries

36:02 Carrying Their Load

46:57 Toxic Loyalty Explained

48:10 Loyalty Becomes Toxic

49:49 Defining Real Abuse

50:20 Dating Your Childhood

57:09 Familiar Feels Like Home

58:39 When Peace Feels Wrong

01:00:20 Healing Versus Talking

01:01:54 Stop Building Partners

01:05:19 Inner Child Work Steps

01:11:24 Safety and Respect Needs

01:17:56 Marriage Seasons Change

01:24:05 Breaking Generational Avoidance

01:30:03 Legacy Before Loss

01:32:29 Boundaries Shift Marriage

01:35:45 Closing and Where to Find Book



Find Love McPherson and her book, Train Up a Child: Cutting to the Core to Heal Your Inner Child, at:

https://lovemcpherson.com


Instagram: @love_mcpherson


Subscribe to Initiated By God for more honest conversations about faith, relationships, and growth.


As always, stay initiated.


#InitiatedByGod #LoveMcPherson #Relationships


Host Jessica Laine-MacDonald:

https://www.instagram.com/itsjessicalaine/


Renew The Mind Journal:

https://www.hardlyinitiated.com/products/renew-the-mind-journal


Fight The Flesh Bracelet:

https://www.hardlyinitiated.com/products/fight-the-flesh-bracelet


Hardly In Love Dating Cards:

https://www.hardlyinitiated.com/products/dating-deck


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