I was in an abusive relationship for 11 brutal years. There were good times, and bad times - though more bad than good. With all the verbal, physical, psychological, and sexual abuse, I started drinking my pain away, became suicidal - and with two young boys, I was so broken I could no longer care for them...
One night in August 2020, around 10pm, I went to the backyard to say my tearful goodbyes to my two best friends Tony and Alexis. My next step was to jump off the roof, but I ended up collapsing to the ground, on my knees, crying uncontrollably. Tony and Alexis came and held me and just let me cry. I cried until I thought I'd run out of tears, then cried some more. When I finally calmed down, they took me inside to clean up...
So many thoughts swirled around in my head. How did I get here? Why was I so vulnerable to my abuser? Could I remember a time when abuse wasn't part of my normal?..
After calming down, I realized that I couldn't stay there anymore. I broke the news to my boys that I had to go "fix my broken pieces."...
A week later, I kissed them goodbye, and Tony drove me to Calgary. It's been a difficult road of ups and downs. I have since been diagnosed with CPTSD, I have continued to work on self, and have begun to unpack where this uncomfortable journey began...
Things are getting much better. I am writing children's stories, and working on this podcast about my story. Through these, I hope to help others by letting them know they are NOT alone in this. The first step was the hardest but with courage and support, I took it. You can do it too! I know you can, You've got this!
